Pure Desire Podcast

In today’s episode, Jason and Shelley Martinkus join us for their first podcast conversation to share their insights on navigating the ongoing challenges of healing in relationships impacted by addiction. They discuss how betrayed spouses can communicate triggers effectively, and how recovering addicts can receive this feedback without defensiveness. The conversation addresses common frustrations, such as differing paces of healing...

In this powerful episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Linda MacDonald joins us to explore the unique trauma of post-affair divorce—what she describes as a “spiritual car crash.” We discuss why the grief of being betrayed and then left carries a distinct and devastating complexity, including the deep shame, self-blame, and identity loss many survivors experience. Linda offers insight for betrayed spouses wrestling with worth, rewritt...

Dr. Gary Chapman joins us for a rich conversation about loving well through The 5 Love Languages®. We begin with a helpful refresher on the five languages and explore how personality shapes the way we give and receive love. Chapman also explains the idea of the “love tank”—what fills it, what drains it, and how couples can keep it healthy through consistency, practice, and intentional effort rather than striving for perfection. For...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to discuss why the church so often becomes an unsafe place for survivors of sexual betrayal. Drawing from his work as a licensed mental health counselor and his research with more than 2,800 women, Dr. Bauman shares what led him—from pastoral ministry into clinical practice—to expose the systemic sexism and abuse he documents in Safe Church. We explore how misog...

In today’s episode, we explore the heart behind the book, When Hurting People Come to Church, and the growing mental health crisis impacting families, churches, and communities—including those navigating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Our guests, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. James Sells, explain why so many people struggle to find timely help and how the Church is uniquely positioned to respond. Rather than serving only as a ref...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings. 

Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, shame-driven purity culture, and the p...

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth. 

Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others. We discuss strategies for recognizi...

In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth. 

Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the same. For spouses or family members, w...

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand. 

Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging pain we’ve caused is so difficult,...

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just ne...

In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully in recovery and what they might be...

In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and trafficking—Laurie offers practical, ...

In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide insights for protecting children fr...

In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’s seen when fathers step into this ...

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk, how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together. 

We’ll explore practical ways to move past awkwardness,...

In this episode, Josh Andrew explores how the start of a New Year can be a fresh opportunity for growth and focus in recovery. Moving beyond avoidance-based strategies, he introduces the Three Circles tool, emphasizing the importance of the outer circle—practices and behaviors that support a healthy, fulfilling life while reducing the risk of acting out.

Josh explains how self-care, understanding your God-given identity, and thought...

In this insightful episode, Stuart Blade unpacks the power of the Commitment to Change—a practical tool designed to help individuals and couples experience real transformation in their recovery and spiritual growth. 

He explains what a Commitment to Change is, who it’s for, and how it can move people from good intentions to lasting change. Drawing from years of experience leading and supervising groups, Stuart shares common mistakes...

In this heartfelt episode, Rodney and Traci Wright share their powerful story of finding healing—both individually and as a couple. Long before discovering Pure Desire, their recovery journey began with a deep recognition of their need for help and God’s grace to rebuild what was broken. 

They open up about the early steps they took to survive as a couple, the community that supported them, and how joining a Pure Desire group years ...

In this inspiring episode, we hear the powerful story of Brian Wolf’s journey toward healing and recovery. From the moment he realized he needed help to discovering the life-changing community of a Pure Desire group, this conversation explores how God meets us in our brokenness and leads us toward freedom. 

Through honest reflection and personal experience, Brian shares the pivotal moments when healing began to take root—through con...