Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast

Ah, how fitting that this episode number is 2/3 of the Number of the Beast!

Today we continue to excavate the origins of Babymetal by diving into the history of Heavy Metal in Japan. This episode features some of the coolest bands we've ever covered, so for once we're actually excited to talk about our subject matter!

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What comes to mind when you think of Heavy Metal? Is it three cute little girls wearing Lolita dresses and doing synchronized dance moves? Well if you answered "no" you're out of touch, my bruh!

Welcome to the preposterous world of Babymetal, a Japanese girl group that combines the saccharine imagery of J-pop with the bone-crushing heaviness of metal. Sounds incongruous? It is, and yet this group is one of the best-se...

Don't you hate it when an artist wastes everyone's time by dedicating verses or even entire songs to shouting out dozens of random cities? No? It's just us? Well too bad, we're talking about it anyway!

Why do so many artists feel compelled to list off dozens of cities they may or may not have been to? Where did this phenomenon begin, and which songs are the absolute worst offenders of all? Join us for a quir...

We wrap up this beast of a series by covering the last four decades of Village People history: from their uncomfortably cringe downfall to their recent return to relevance at the hands of a fascist goon. 

This ever-dumbfounding narrative winds its way through the topics of Milkshakes, Phone Sex, Copyright Law, German Soccer, and so much more!

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The Village People hit their stride with such monster hits as "Y.M.C.A." and "In the Navy", proving that mainstream America will go to any lengths to not get the hint as to what their music's really about. We'll analyze the music from the band's golden age while also connecting it to the broader context of the late 70s music scene... 

You see, by this point Disco has completely overwhelmed American...

Awww yeah! We're back with another low-effort minisode where we catch up on all the recent goings-on from artists we profiled in the past. Come hear about all the wacky exploits from your favorite Polishing Turds alumni. We've got Cruises with Creed, AI experiments with the Black Eyed Peas, juicy drama from the Cyrus family, and so much more! 

What better way to start off this horrible, horrible year?

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You thought American Christmas music was dumb? Wait till you hear what the folks across the pond are up to...

This year's Holiday Special examines the annual tradition of the UK Christmas Number One. Each year the British public gets hyped up over which song is going to top the charts on Christmas week. Sounds innocent enough, and yet for whatever reason half the songs they pick make no goddamn sense at all. From scho...

We conclude our interminable Iced Earth series with the dramatic assault of the U.S. Capitol building on January 6, 2021. This riot was facilitated in part by a wacky  militia called the Oath Keepers, a group whose membership happened to include Jon Schaffer. 

As usual we go deep; covering the history of the Oath Keepers as well as the far-right Patriot movement from which they emerged. We also discuss what happened to Jon...

How did Iced Earth guitarist Jon Schaffer become a deranged conspiracy theorist? What led him down that toxic rabbit hole, and what exactly are the beliefs that led him to storm the Capitol on January 6?

It turns out most of Jon's anger and paranoia was centered around the Federal Reserve system, which conspiracy cranks believe is responsible for a sinister plot to impose a New World Order on the unsuspecting sheeple....

We cover the bizarre story of heavy metal legends Iced Earth, whose lead member was involved in the January 6 Capitol Riot. 


(Sorry about the dog barking in the background lol)

YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btd2KxXOvNc&list=PL6QhZ78uzXMohSWyUqf72sHHcCMjDd1PK

Selected Sources:

Metal Injection article from 1/6/2021: https://metalinjection.net/politics/is-this-a-photo-of...

Imagine Dragons have become too popular for their own good; a worldwide backlash is only inevitable! Critics, musicians, and countless Twitter randos unite to take the piss out of this commercial rock behemoth. They are, to put it bluntly, the New Nickelback...

All this ridicule naturally hurts Dan Reynolds' feelings, and he responds to it the only way he know how: by making crappy music. Indeed, the songs that bubble...

In Part II of our series we take on Imagine Dragons at their biggest, their boldest, their most obnoxious stage. During the mid-2010s this "rock" band brought their thunderous stomp-clap earworms to every observable realm of the human experience. Whether you were simply trying to listen to the radio, watch a football game, or take a stroll through a shopping center you COULD NOT escape this band. 

In this episode...

Who are Imagine Dragons? Why has their music dominated every mall, stadium, and TV commercial for the past 10 years? Why do old fogies like us find their music so obnoxious??

Perhaps Imagine Dragons are the industry's final attempt to kill rock and roll. Or maybe their music is a sincere expression of their soul and just happens to sound like that. Either way, the only to find out is to dig in. 

So get fired ...

Live Aid - the 1985 worldwide charity extravaganza - has often been called the "greatest concert of all time." So why is it here getting the Polishing Turds treatment?

Well, there's more to Live Aid than the iconic Queen set from Bohemian Rhapsody. There's the disturbing, politically-charged famine that inspired the event in the first place. There's a famously inept reunion show from a legendary b...

It's a brand new millennium. The "Tubthumping" heyday is long gone and most people have forgotten Chumbawamba even existed. But that doesn't mean our quirky comrades are down for the count; on the contrary they're ready as ever to confront this modern tech dystopia with their trademark wit and biting social commentary, in addition to a rather liberal employment of accordions....

As always, inadvert...

At long last, it's TUBTHUMPING TIME!! After endless digressions through history, politics, and obscure music scenes we finally arrive at Chumbawamba's era-defining hit. What does "Tubthumping" mean? What inspired its composition? Which creepy pederast mogul pushed it onto pop radio? We're gonna tell you everything you wanted to know about this tune and then some!

This episode also includes a specia...

Our heroes continue their wayward march toward improbable fame, satiating their anarchic through dalliances with new genres of music, including dance, pop, reggae, and a mysterious unheard-of one which we apparently think exists. 

And of course this being Chumbawamba, we've supplied the necessary historical context for each esoteric track. Topics of conversation in this episode will include Live Aid, Apartheid, a bitc...

(Okay FINE we'll tell the actual story of Chumbawamba and not a bunch of obscure noisy punk bands you've never heard of!)

Before they were pop superstars, they were a misbegotten collection of misfits from the post-industrial wasteland of Northern England. They lived collectively in a dilapidated squat house, sharing all food and money (and, occasionally, each other's bodies). They agitated for revolution an...