Let’s Get Vulnerable: Relationship and Dating Advice

What if secure attachment was never something you had to earn?

This episode has been on my heart for months, and I'm so glad it's finally here. So many of us walk around saying "I'm anxious" or "I'm avoidant" like it's a life sentence. But you weren't born with an insecure attachment style. You were born with an attachment system designed for secure love, and everything else was a brilliant survival strategy you picked up along the ...

You can know exactly what a healthy relationship looks like and still find yourself sending that third text.

Awareness matters, but it was never going to be enough on its own. In Pt. 1 we did the belief work, in Pt. 2 we worked with your nervous system, and today we're putting the rubber to the road with what secure attachment actually looks like in your behaviors with real human beings. If you've been beating yourself up for not ch...

If you still get anxious when someone pulls away, does that mean you haven't healed?

"Heal your nervous system" gets thrown around constantly, and almost nobody explains what it actually means. So in Part 2 of this series, I'm breaking it down in plain language, in the context of your attachment style and your real relationships. I've spent years living in disorganized attachment, and I've helped over a thousand people become secure...

What if the reason you keep repeating the same relationship patterns has nothing to do with willpower, and everything to do with the map your brain is still using?

You know your attachment style. You can name your triggers in real time. And somehow you're still ending up in the same place with a different person. Here's what I wish someone had told me in my twenties: awareness is necessary, but awareness alone won't make you secure....

If you love yourself beautifully when you're single and then lose yourself the second you're in a relationship, this one's for you.

We're wrapping up Self-Love September with the question so many of you bring to me: what does it actually look like to love yourself while you're loving someone else? I spent years focused on becoming securely attached and attracting my person, and then I had to learn that staying me inside the relation...

She almost said no to the man who became her person, because he didn't check every box.

This week I'm sitting down with Serena Kerrigan, author of Let's Fucking Date, to talk about the standards that almost kept her from Felix, the guy who's now her partner of four years. Serena opens up about the "deal breakers" she used to swear by, why she almost walked away from someone six years younger, and the moment she realized her real non...

Here's the thing nobody tells you about self-love: you can do all the right behaviors and still feel empty if the beliefs underneath them are broken.

I'm recording this one from a hotel room in New York, and honestly, I've been thinking about this episode all day. This is part two of our September Self-Love series, and I want to talk about something I don't think gets talked about enough, the actual beliefs that have to be there for...

When you hear the words "self-love," what comes to mind? A bubble bath? Treating yourself to lunch? Setting a boundary or two? Those things aren't wrong, but they're not the whole picture. In this episode, I'm sharing my personal, working definition of self-love, the one I've landed on after years in this work with my own healing and sitting across from countless clients. We're going to talk about what actually gets in the way of l...

You can understand your attachment style perfectly and still repeat it every single time. That's not a you problem, that's the missing piece nobody talks about.

This is the episode I've been building toward all series. If you've ever sat there thinking "I know why I do this, I've read the books, I've named the pattern... So why do I still react the same way?" this one's for you. Insight is the beginning of attachment healing, not th...

Reassurance isn't the problem. The wrong kind of reassurance is.

If you've ever heard "I'm not leaving" or "we're fine" and felt your nervous system stay exactly as anxious as it was five minutes ago, this episode is for you. Part 3 of Attachment Theory Got an Upgrade is diving into the research on why reassurance sometimes calms us down and sometimes completely misses the mark. I'm breaking down what a massive systematic review fou...

A secure partner cannot heal your attachment style. I need you to sit with that for a second.

This is part two of our Attachment Theory Got an Upgrade series, and it's a good one. We're breaking down a 2025 study that followed over 1,000 couples for 20 months and the findings challenge the story so many of us tell ourselves: that finding the "right" person will just heal us. I've believed that too. Here's what the research actually...

You've spent years blaming your mom for your anxious attachment, but what if she's only part of the story?

I am kicking off a brand new series today and I cannot wait to get into it with you. We're calling it "Attachment Theory Got an Upgrade," because after years of watching this concept get flattened on social media, I wanted to bring you the real, nuanced, research-backed picture, starting with the biggest myth of all: that your ...

These are the ten truths that quietly rearranged my entire life, and I'm handing every single one of them to you.

Girl, we've made it to the final episode of my birthday series, and I saved the best for last. This one is the mindset shifts, the internal rewires that changed how I see myself, my relationships, and what I'm actually capable of building at 37. Some of these took me years to learn. Some hit me hard this year alone. All ...

For years I bought into a script I didn't even write, play hard to get, shrink yourself, don't be "too much," wait for love to just happen to you. I lived by these rules and they kept me stuck on repeat, dating the wrong people and wondering why nothing changed. In this episode, part three of my 37 Unfiltered birthday series, I'm getting brutally honest about the 10 (plus a bonus) lies dating culture sold me, and exactly what I had...

Continuing the birthday series, I'm getting real unfiltered about the seven relationship non-negotiables I didn't even know to ask for at 30 and now, five+ years into my relationship, I will not budge on. Some of these took me years of healing (and a lot of self-abandoning relationships) to even recognize as options. If you've never had someone model healthy conflict, financial transparency, or an apology that didn't feel like pull...

It's my birthday, y'all and I'm turning 37 with 10 confessions.

To kick off my new series, 37 Unfiltered, I'm sharing the 10 things I stopped doing that changed my life, from alcohol to people-pleasing to paying for people's love. This is the real stuff. Not the highlight reel, the years of small decisions that actually moved me toward secure attachment.

Inside the Episode:

• Why I stopped numbing with alcohol and what it forced me ...

Girl, we've made it to part four of The Disorganized Diaries, and this is the episode I've been waiting to give you. We've talked about what disorganized attachment is, where it comes from, and how ADHD and neurodivergence can pour gasoline on the fire. Today we're finally talking about the way out. And I need you to hear this: knowing something logically does not turn off the internal alarm system your nervous system built to prot...

You're not "too much" and you're not broken — your nervous system just learned to survive in chaos, and now it's time to teach it something new.

Y'all, this one is personal. Disorganized attachment (aka fearful avoidant) is the attachment style I lived in for a huge chunk of my life before I did the work to become securely attached and it's also the one that gets talked about the least. In this episode of the Disorganized Diar...

If the person you were supposed to run to for safety was also the person who scared you, your nervous system learned a lesson that's still running your relationships today.

Girl, this one goes deep. In part two of the Disorganized Diaries series, I'm taking you back to the origin, where disorganized attachment actually comes from, and why it's the attachment style I lived in for almost three decades. We're talking about the caregive...