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This week Holden, Jackie and Big Earl are gossin' about it bein' T Swift release week, complete with a 4/19 Taylor Swift album release stream, PLUS IS TAY DOING DDDDDRUGS IN DA WOODS?, Grimes rides out to her screaming Coachella doom on a robotic spider and probably wishes she had Will Smith's memory eraser from his Coachella performance as Agent J (complete with creepily muscular alien dancers), Madonna brings Ricky Martin on stag...

This week Holden, MJ and Jackie marvel at their singing being able to be pieced together by their vv cool producer. Holden gears up for The Circle while MJ discusses the newest episode of Bluey, a series which brings Jackie back to Adventure Time in terms of emotional gut punches from 11 minute kids shows.

Physical 100- Netflix

Married At First Sight Season 17 - Amazon Prime

Bluey - Nickelodeon

The Gentlemen - Netflix

One Piece - Netfl...

This week MJ, Jackie and Holden dawn their best bootleg KISS makeup to start their bad girl era as JoJo Siwa tries to reinvent herself much to all our chagrin (and delight), Mormons apparently love Taylor Swift (who just dropped a massive amount of playlists on Apple Music with some iiiiinteresting choices), April Real's day can't happen because they're STRAIGHT OUTTA REALS and no one is willing to step-up to the mantel, but FEAR N...

This week Jackie's Jolene just wants cookies, Mr. WHITE CISHET MAN himself Holden's terrified of a specificly BUZZy set of fans and MJ's entered a new gay cowboy phase as they gush about Beyoncé's new country album 'Cowboy Carter', Jackie became the APRIL FOOL HERSELF while Holden's forcing the celebration of Men's Month, Lizzo QUIT (at least til she clarified), every company got out their silly sillies for April Fools, Holden moun...

This week Jackie, Holden, and MJ are feelin' DYNAMITE despite a DARK NEWS WEEK complete with the Kate Middleton mystery ending with a Royal cancer announcement and Diddy's Empire seemingly crumbling (check out this week's Leftovers for even more terrible news with 'Quiet on the Set'), Jackie goes to bat for her ITALIAN heritage and is STILL trying to make Springsgiving a thing, Page 7 FLIPS THEIR STANCE ON GOOP, Rebel Wilson drops ...

This week Jackie's Hemorrhaging and passin' it on to Holden and MJ as they goss 'bout the name of Spring Thanksgiving, the drama currently going on with Sims Geoff, as Jackie gets on board with Yacht Rock and rekindles her love for Steely Dan, A KATE MIDDLETON UPDATE, Holden channels a robot provides a dismal update about the year 2035, Meghan Markle drops a homeware line which only adds to the Kate fire, as well as some more fallo...

This week Holden (who is not missing), Jackie and MJ get deep(er) into the Kate Middleton photo conspiracy for the first 20 minutes or so before it's time for THE OSCARS (which Barbie dominated) complete with a live performance of 'I'm Just Ken', Holden gets a two day Twitch ban for Oscar streamin', Sloppenheimer and the beast he created took home Oscars, Paul Giamatti tearing up won Jackie's heart and John Cena brought out the cum...

This week on a very special Page 7 Holden, MJ and Jackie crack open the UK government's plan to keep whatever's happening with the Royal Family from the public with the early Conspiracy Corner: Is Kate Middleton Missing!?!, Jackie processes the changes to Nicole Kidman's AMC ad (THEY REMOVED THE PHRASE), Jackie lays out the specifics on her attraction to Austin Butler's Feyd-Rautha, MJ creates a family tree to help figure out what'...

This week Jackie, MJ, and what appears to be Pedro Pascal goss' 'bout Beyoncé getting accused of lifting the Franklin theme song for "TEXAS HOLD 'EM", Jackie and MJ head down the G Flip Slippery Slide, Machine Gun Kelly blacks out his nipples (and a good bit of the rest of his body), MJ's watchin' Full House with the kidz and it's brought up some very 90's conversations, Holden lays down his rules for inbox management and starts a ...

This week we're gossin' 'bout This Is Me... Now: A Love Story, Jackie refers to Affleck's mighty Phoenix as a mere bird, Mariah Carey appears on a remix of Ariana Grande's new single making a song only dogs can hear, Selena Gomez comes for Holden hard with her copycat fan name and Holden ends up calling for a total boycott of Page 7, the "I am Rectangular" singer got kidnapped with his family in South Africa, Zendaya wears a roboti...

This week on Page 7 we're gossin' 'bout ALL THINGS SUPER BOWL! Jackie unlocks the ancient wisdom of Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz and finally understands why Usher is sexy along with a full Super Bowl Halftime Show breakdown, Holden tries not to upset any Keysheads, both Lady Gaga and Beyonce announce new eras (Beyonce's goin Country Y'ALL!), MJ and Holden share Super Bowl party stories, and Jackie reveals she was too busy with Geof...

This week we're gossin' 'bout THE GRAMMYS DOIN' A GREAT JOB! MJ's in a Tracy Chapman hole after Tracy Chapman killed it live, congrats Miley Cyrus on getting her first Grammy, Page 7 creates their own Grammys that we can all agree would be far superior, Tay-Tay brings home best album for 'Midnights' and drops her NEW ALBUM ART AND TRACK LIST, no one can own Eras, quick Crescent City check-in: Jackie's dislocating her jaw and devour...

This week we're gossin' 'bout the fact that Jackie H A T E S that she's talking to MJ "Literature Person" Knefel and Holden "Football Man" McNeely instead of gettin' lost in a tale of lust and revenge, book talk up talk with Crescent City book 3 droppin' this past Monday and brief talk on American Nightmare (Jackie recommends) after MJ reveals they're a beach read bitch, Taylor is headin' to the Superb Owl and some Football talk ar...

This week it's time for Oscar nom talk! Holden's excited for everything everyone hates, Rob Lowe did a Rob Lowe, WHERE IS THE CRISS ANGEL BIOPIC?!, More Saltburn and May December talk, Holden just wants a magician film PERIOD, ⚠️ NEW JLo movie This Is Me...Now: A Love Story ⚠️ pause around 1358 and WATCH THIS to prep for the coming watchalong event in February!, first ep of the new Buffy watchalong available on patreon for all leve...

This week Hard Clappin' Holden is joined by Jackie and MJ as they discuss Holden's future downfall at the hands of nearby burgers, You Are What You Eat nearly scares Jackie away from almost all red meat, Jackie faces the allegation that her and Geoff are SWINGBAITERS, Holden's nemesis takes time away from licking doughnuts (WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN) lets everyone know she's REALLY into SpongeBob, Sofia Vergara does NOT put up with an i...

WE'RE BACK BABY!!! Jackie finally got her WISH, MJ went outside of the house 2 times this weekend! (GETTIN' OUT 2024) and Holden's embracing his bourbon haze goblin life with Bad Surgeon: Love Under the Knife and peepin' on nudey gobs in Baldur's Gate 3. SOMETHING HAPPENS IN SALTBURN!!! Calvin Klein has blessed our 2024 with a gift of an ad, Jacob Elordi ate a bunch of bacon to be Elvis and Gideon doesn't get all these Elvis refere...