September 13, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 60 year old single mother. My son is 32 and he has been a single father since his first wife passed away 4 years ago. My granddaughter is 14 years old and she’s with me during the week and she goes back to her dad’s house on the weekend. My son has started back dating and he wants to be married again. He says he doesn’t function well as a single man..............................
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
Yeah right us. We're gonna try to help you. We
love to help you. All you have to do is
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
(00:22):
one right here, right now, right that's right, buckalong, hold
on tight, it's the Strawberry Letter. Go Shirley. A little
extra that was like coming in hot. Okay, right right,
thanks Carla. Subject get somewhere and sit down, Okay. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm a sixty year old single mother. My
(00:46):
son is thirty two and he has been a single
father since his first wife passed away four years ago.
My granddaughter is fourteen years old, and she's with me
during the week and she goes back to her dad's
house on the weekend. My son has started back dating
and he wants to be married again. He says he
doesn't function well as a single man. I have nothing
(01:08):
to do with his love life, but I have everything
to do with how his daughter is raised, and I
don't think he should be introducing her to all kinds
of women while she's still in the grieving process. This
new girl he's dating is very simplistic and materialistic. She's
got her own money, so she's not asking for anything
from my son. But it's the way she carries herself
(01:31):
that is on my nerves. She and I don't see
eye to eye on a lot of things. She has
a sixteen year old daughter that she leaves a loan
overnight to go play house with our son. Her daughter
has a brand new car and she lets her run
wild with her friends all over town. The only time
my granddaughter has quality time with her with her dad
(01:52):
is on the weekend, and this new woman is always
around and in the way. My granddaughter sees through her
and gets irritated when this woman plays rap music and
knows all the lyrics. She feels like the woman is
trying too hard. She's visited at my house with my
son and runs around waiting on my son hand and foot,
and I had to tell her to get somewhere and
(02:13):
sit down. I have never seen a woman try so hard,
and her intentions may be good, but she has to
fall back a bit, I think my son is falling
for her representative and not the real woman. How can
I get him to pump the brakes. Okay, grandmother, your
intentions might be right, but you need to fall back
(02:35):
a little bit. I mean, I agree your son doesn't
need to introduce her daughter or his daughter, I should
say to a lot of random women, because grief is
a process and it takes time. And although it has
been four years, grief is different for everyone. And your
granddaughter his daughter is only fourteen, so that means her
(02:55):
mother passed when she was just ten years old, So
let her have a moment. Okay, she's obviously still working
through some things in her young life. Now, your son
wants to remarry, you said, but he's got to make
sure his daughter is good and he has to make
sure this woman is a good fit for their family.
His daughter needs him. Yes, she has you, grandmother, thank god,
(03:19):
But daddy has to learn how to divide his time
and make his time count and make quality time between
his new girlfriend and his daughter, who again is only fourteen.
Is this new woman even trying to connect with the daughter.
Is she doing that? Is she ready to take on
the role of stepman? Mom? Or is she just concentrating
on being with the dad. It doesn't sound like she
(03:42):
is according to your letter. It sounds like according to you,
she's only interested in your son and not his daughter.
But again, all you can do is talk to your son.
You can try to reason with him and make suggestions
on how he should handle this very delicate situation. You
can't go in too hard against this woman because your
(04:03):
son does like her and he's considering marriage. He wants
to remarry, and it sounds like it might she might
be the one. So he needs your non emotional voice
of reason right now. That might make a difference in
the woman he chooses to be with. And if it's her,
you know, just be reasonable, talk to him, don't be
all emotional talking about the woman and all that, because again,
(04:26):
he likes her. Steve, well, get somewhere and sit down.
This is a letter about a mother that doesn't like
the choice of women her son. It's me, That's all
this letter is about. Now it's masked with a lot
of other stuff, and I will point this out to
(04:46):
you as we go alone. First of all, I'm a
sixty year old single mother. What I didn't know that
was a turn I thought that when your son it
is thirty two and you sixty. But I think you
can stop saying that at one point. It's like when
(05:08):
the baby is thirty eight months old. Come on, now
we need some years. We got we got to quit
doing months now, you know, we gotta stop doing you know,
you know I'm seven weeks pregnant. That's good. At one point,
you got to be seven months, you know, we just
it's just a conversion. So I'm confused with that. I'm
(05:30):
a sixty year old single mother. Refer to yourself as
a single mother, meaning that you have to raise a
child on your own. That's what being a single parent
or mother represents to me. It's just maya pick. She
may be single and a mother. That's cool, But don't
(05:50):
use that because the boy thirty two. I don't stuck
on that. Hey, like you gotta take his ass to
soccer practice. You got to come up with field trip money.
You're just struggling with it. So what should she have said,
just to a sixty year old single woman, My son
is thirty two, that's all. Don't try to draw us
(06:13):
in with that. I'm a sixtyear old single mother to
draw like, oh, while how long she's been doing this?
All right, here we go. She said that we'll have
part two. You'll see what. We'll have part two of
Steve's response because he's just stuck on the first line
on the strawberry letter. Hey, get off of its tail
(06:36):
tail the rest of the letter. All right, we'll have
firt two of your response coming up Steve at twenty
three minutes after the hour. Today's title is one that's
close to my heart of the Strawberry letter, Get somewhere
and sit down. We'll get back into it with Steve's
response right after this. You're listening to the Steve Morning Show.
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
(07:00):
get somewhere and sit down. Well, this sixty year old
single mother. That didn't have to mention that to us,
because when you're a single mother, I'm thinking of your
raising children on your own. Her boy is thirty two,
so that's a term I disagree with. My son is
thirty two and he's been a single father since his
first wife passed away four years ago. Very important. My
(07:25):
granddaughter is fourteen, and she's with me during the week
and she goes back to her dad's house on the weekend.
My son has started back dating and he wants to
be married again. He says he doesn't function well as
a single man. I have nothing to do with his
love life. This is not true, because you do it.
I have nothing to do with his love life. But
the rest of his letter is all about his love life.
(07:48):
But I have everything to do with how his daughter
is raised, and I don't think he should be introducing
her to all kinds of women while she's still in
the grieving process. Now, I understand that statement that this
woman is making, and I understand that the little girl
is still dealing with it even after four years, because
(08:08):
it's something you almost never get on. I understand that.
But this man has been grieving for four years too,
but he's ready to move forward. He should be allowed
to date. Now. You made a statement that I don't
think he should be introducing her to all kinds of
women while she's still in the grieving process. But that
(08:30):
ain't what this letter is about. You immediately go This
new girl he's dating is very simplistic and materialistic. Excuse me,
make up your mind, mama. She's either simplistic or materialistic.
Simplistic means very simple things essential very doesn't care about
(08:54):
extra materialistic is the direct opposite. So I'm not really
sure you even know what you talk about. She's got
her own money, okay, so she's not asking for anything
from my son. So what you're saying is this woman
brings plenty to the table outside of being what could
be a very good woman. But it's the way she
(09:17):
carries herself that gets on my nerves. You just said
in the letter that you don't you don't want to
get into your son's love life. It's none of your business.
Just raising the daughter is. But now I don't like
the way the way she carries herself gets on my nerves.
She and I don't see eye to eye on a
lot of things. She has a sixteen year old daughter
(09:40):
that she leaves alone overnight to go play house with
my son. Sixteen year olds can stay home by thisself.
Sixteen year olds can stay home. Technology now makes it
where sixteen year old can stay home by this self.
I didn't have te Hell yeah, I had to stay
home and be not And I'll tell you what he was.
The rule. When I get back to this house, better
(10:01):
be just like I left him, right, Her daughter has
a brand new car, and she lets her run wide
with her friends all over town. Does she really or
does the girl just have a brand new car and
contrive to visit her nothing? Girl ain't no reputation or none.
(10:23):
You're letting her run. That's not a way. The only
time my granddaughter has quality time with her dad is
on the weekends, and this new woman is always around
and in the way. Excuse me, but this man's every
weekend can't be for his daughter. I'm sorry, that's not
y'all can say that if you want to, but don't
(10:43):
nobody do that. The girl is fourteen, She probably has friends,
has a life on her own FaceTime, probably got a phone.
All this here, I got news for you. Once they
reached that teenage years, they don't really want to be
sitting around your ass that much. They really don't do.
They're busy. Yes, they have their own friends. And the
(11:04):
new woman is always around. And then the way my
granddaughter sees through her and gets irritated when this woman
plays rap music and knows all the lyrics, Well, you
can't know the lyrics unless you know the lyrics. You know.
They're in their thirties, that's all she grew up on
hip hop. Yeah, she feels like the woman is trying
(11:25):
too hard. Yeah, that's it's called effort. She's visited at
my house with my sons and runs around waiting on
my son hand and foot, and I had to tell
her to go somewhere and sit down. Okay, So now
the woman caters to your son. You don't like that.
She got her own money, you don't like that. Okay,
(11:48):
she's simplistic, you don't like that. And she materialistic, you
don't like that. And now she come over to your
house running around waiting on your son, and you don't
like that. I I've never seen a woman try so hard.
And her intentions may be good. I think her intentions
are just fine. And if you don't want her to
try hard, what you want her to do. But she
(12:10):
has to fall back a bit. And I think my
son is falling for her representative and not the real woman. Well,
time will tell, because the representative can't stay forever. How
can I get him to pump the brakes? Well, let's
start with you need to pump the break. Yeah, your
(12:31):
son wants to be married, let him figure it out.
Every weekend can't be for the kids, her sixteen year
old can stay home alone. And you're wrong because you
don't even really know this woman. And that's why your
ass is a sixty year old single mother. That's exactly
why your ass is a sixty year old single mother.
(12:55):
Post your comments and Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter at
Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out
the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour. A young college man
on Facebook said his parents are upset that he and
his girlfriend are having sex and he needs advice from you,
Steve about an upcoming trip. We'll talk about it right
(13:17):
after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com.
Yeah right us. We're gonna try to help you. We
love to help you. All you have to do is
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
live on the air, just like we're gonna read this
(00:22):
one right here, right now, right that's right, buckalong, hold
on tight, it's the Strawberry Letter. Go Shirley. A little
extra that was like coming in hot. Okay, right right,
thanks Carla. Subject get somewhere and sit down, Okay. Dear
Stephen Shirley. I'm a sixty year old single mother. My
(00:46):
son is thirty two and he has been a single
father since his first wife passed away four years ago.
My granddaughter is fourteen years old, and she's with me
during the week and she goes back to her dad's
house on the weekend. My son has started back dating
and he wants to be married again. He says he
doesn't function well as a single man. I have nothing
(01:08):
to do with his love life, but I have everything
to do with how his daughter is raised, and I
don't think he should be introducing her to all kinds
of women while she's still in the grieving process. This
new girl he's dating is very simplistic and materialistic. She's
got her own money, so she's not asking for anything
from my son. But it's the way she carries herself
(01:31):
that is on my nerves. She and I don't see
eye to eye on a lot of things. She has
a sixteen year old daughter that she leaves a loan
overnight to go play house with our son. Her daughter
has a brand new car and she lets her run
wild with her friends all over town. The only time
my granddaughter has quality time with her with her dad
(01:52):
is on the weekend, and this new woman is always
around and in the way. My granddaughter sees through her
and gets irritated when this woman plays rap music and
knows all the lyrics. She feels like the woman is
trying too hard. She's visited at my house with my
son and runs around waiting on my son hand and foot,
and I had to tell her to get somewhere and
(02:13):
sit down. I have never seen a woman try so hard,
and her intentions may be good, but she has to
fall back a bit, I think my son is falling
for her representative and not the real woman. How can
I get him to pump the brakes. Okay, grandmother, your
intentions might be right, but you need to fall back
(02:35):
a little bit. I mean, I agree your son doesn't
need to introduce her daughter or his daughter, I should
say to a lot of random women, because grief is
a process and it takes time. And although it has
been four years, grief is different for everyone. And your
granddaughter his daughter is only fourteen, so that means her
(02:55):
mother passed when she was just ten years old, So
let her have a moment. Okay, she's obviously still working
through some things in her young life. Now, your son
wants to remarry, you said, but he's got to make
sure his daughter is good and he has to make
sure this woman is a good fit for their family.
His daughter needs him. Yes, she has you, grandmother, thank god,
(03:19):
But daddy has to learn how to divide his time
and make his time count and make quality time between
his new girlfriend and his daughter, who again is only fourteen.
Is this new woman even trying to connect with the daughter.
Is she doing that? Is she ready to take on
the role of stepman? Mom? Or is she just concentrating
on being with the dad. It doesn't sound like she
(03:42):
is according to your letter. It sounds like according to you,
she's only interested in your son and not his daughter.
But again, all you can do is talk to your son.
You can try to reason with him and make suggestions
on how he should handle this very delicate situation. You
can't go in too hard against this woman because your
(04:03):
son does like her and he's considering marriage. He wants
to remarry, and it sounds like it might she might
be the one. So he needs your non emotional voice
of reason right now. That might make a difference in
the woman he chooses to be with. And if it's her,
you know, just be reasonable, talk to him, don't be
all emotional talking about the woman and all that, because again,
(04:26):
he likes her. Steve, well, get somewhere and sit down.
This is a letter about a mother that doesn't like
the choice of women her son. It's me, That's all
this letter is about. Now it's masked with a lot
of other stuff, and I will point this out to
(04:46):
you as we go alone. First of all, I'm a
sixty year old single mother. What I didn't know that
was a turn I thought that when your son it
is thirty two and you sixty. But I think you
can stop saying that at one point. It's like when
(05:08):
the baby is thirty eight months old. Come on, now
we need some years. We got we got to quit
doing months now, you know, we gotta stop doing you know,
you know I'm seven weeks pregnant. That's good. At one point,
you got to be seven months, you know, we just
it's just a conversion. So I'm confused with that. I'm
(05:30):
a sixty year old single mother. Refer to yourself as
a single mother, meaning that you have to raise a
child on your own. That's what being a single parent
or mother represents to me. It's just maya pick. She
may be single and a mother. That's cool, But don't
(05:50):
use that because the boy thirty two. I don't stuck
on that. Hey, like you gotta take his ass to
soccer practice. You got to come up with field trip money.
You're just struggling with it. So what should she have said,
just to a sixty year old single woman, My son
is thirty two, that's all. Don't try to draw us
(06:13):
in with that. I'm a sixtyear old single mother to
draw like, oh, while how long she's been doing this?
All right, here we go. She said that we'll have
part two. You'll see what. We'll have part two of
Steve's response because he's just stuck on the first line
on the strawberry letter. Hey, get off of its tail
(06:36):
tail the rest of the letter. All right, we'll have
firt two of your response coming up Steve at twenty
three minutes after the hour. Today's title is one that's
close to my heart of the Strawberry letter, Get somewhere
and sit down. We'll get back into it with Steve's
response right after this. You're listening to the Steve Morning Show.
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
(07:00):
get somewhere and sit down. Well, this sixty year old
single mother. That didn't have to mention that to us,
because when you're a single mother, I'm thinking of your
raising children on your own. Her boy is thirty two,
so that's a term I disagree with. My son is
thirty two and he's been a single father since his
first wife passed away four years ago. Very important. My
(07:25):
granddaughter is fourteen, and she's with me during the week
and she goes back to her dad's house on the weekend.
My son has started back dating and he wants to
be married again. He says he doesn't function well as
a single man. I have nothing to do with his
love life. This is not true, because you do it.
I have nothing to do with his love life. But
the rest of his letter is all about his love life.
(07:48):
But I have everything to do with how his daughter
is raised, and I don't think he should be introducing
her to all kinds of women while she's still in
the grieving process. Now, I understand that statement that this
woman is making, and I understand that the little girl
is still dealing with it even after four years, because
(08:08):
it's something you almost never get on. I understand that.
But this man has been grieving for four years too,
but he's ready to move forward. He should be allowed
to date. Now. You made a statement that I don't
think he should be introducing her to all kinds of
women while she's still in the grieving process. But that
(08:30):
ain't what this letter is about. You immediately go This
new girl he's dating is very simplistic and materialistic. Excuse me,
make up your mind, mama. She's either simplistic or materialistic.
Simplistic means very simple things essential very doesn't care about
(08:54):
extra materialistic is the direct opposite. So I'm not really
sure you even know what you talk about. She's got
her own money, okay, so she's not asking for anything
from my son. So what you're saying is this woman
brings plenty to the table outside of being what could
be a very good woman. But it's the way she
(09:17):
carries herself that gets on my nerves. You just said
in the letter that you don't you don't want to
get into your son's love life. It's none of your business.
Just raising the daughter is. But now I don't like
the way the way she carries herself gets on my nerves.
She and I don't see eye to eye on a
lot of things. She has a sixteen year old daughter
(09:40):
that she leaves alone overnight to go play house with
my son. Sixteen year olds can stay home by thisself.
Sixteen year olds can stay home. Technology now makes it
where sixteen year old can stay home by this self.
I didn't have te Hell yeah, I had to stay
home and be not And I'll tell you what he was.
The rule. When I get back to this house, better
(10:01):
be just like I left him, right, Her daughter has
a brand new car, and she lets her run wide
with her friends all over town. Does she really or
does the girl just have a brand new car and
contrive to visit her nothing? Girl ain't no reputation or none.
(10:23):
You're letting her run. That's not a way. The only
time my granddaughter has quality time with her dad is
on the weekends, and this new woman is always around
and in the way. Excuse me, but this man's every
weekend can't be for his daughter. I'm sorry, that's not
y'all can say that if you want to, but don't
(10:43):
nobody do that. The girl is fourteen, She probably has friends,
has a life on her own FaceTime, probably got a phone.
All this here, I got news for you. Once they
reached that teenage years, they don't really want to be
sitting around your ass that much. They really don't do.
They're busy. Yes, they have their own friends. And the
(11:04):
new woman is always around. And then the way my
granddaughter sees through her and gets irritated when this woman
plays rap music and knows all the lyrics, Well, you
can't know the lyrics unless you know the lyrics. You know.
They're in their thirties, that's all she grew up on
hip hop. Yeah, she feels like the woman is trying
(11:25):
too hard. Yeah, that's it's called effort. She's visited at
my house with my sons and runs around waiting on
my son hand and foot, and I had to tell
her to go somewhere and sit down. Okay, So now
the woman caters to your son. You don't like that.
She got her own money, you don't like that. Okay,
(11:48):
she's simplistic, you don't like that. And she materialistic, you
don't like that. And now she come over to your
house running around waiting on your son, and you don't
like that. I I've never seen a woman try so hard.
And her intentions may be good. I think her intentions
are just fine. And if you don't want her to
try hard, what you want her to do. But she
(12:10):
has to fall back a bit. And I think my
son is falling for her representative and not the real woman. Well,
time will tell, because the representative can't stay forever. How
can I get him to pump the brakes? Well, let's
start with you need to pump the break. Yeah, your
(12:31):
son wants to be married, let him figure it out.
Every weekend can't be for the kids, her sixteen year
old can stay home alone. And you're wrong because you
don't even really know this woman. And that's why your
ass is a sixty year old single mother. That's exactly
why your ass is a sixty year old single mother.
(12:55):
Post your comments and Steve on Today's Strawberry Letter at
Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out
the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at
forty six minutes after the hour. A young college man
on Facebook said his parents are upset that he and
his girlfriend are having sex and he needs advice from you,
Steve about an upcoming trip. We'll talk about it right
(13:17):
after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.
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