January 26, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I have been together for 11 years total and married for 8. My older sister has been married for 15 years and her husband is like a big brother and mentor for my husband. My sister and her husband have always done great financially and when I got married, my sister bought my dress and paid for my glam team. She’s always been the one to take care of my parents as well....................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, now, guys, it is time for today's Strawberry Letter.
And if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com. And all you have to do is click
submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, and who knows, we could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now. You
(00:22):
hear that you never know, it could be yours, It
could be yours. You never know. Buckle oppinhold on type.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Subject Her husband is better than mine. Dear Stephen Shirley,
My husband and I have been together for eleven years
total and married for eight. My older sister has been
(00:42):
married for fifteen years, and her husband is like a
big brother and mentor for my husband. My sister and
her husband have always done great financially, and when I
got married, my sister bought my dress and paid for
my glam team. She's always been the one to take
care of my parents as well. I was struggling through
graduate school and then I got pregnant before I got married,
(01:05):
so my sister and brother in law stelfed In stepped
in to help us out with the baby because the
goal was for me to finish school and for my
husband to finish medical school. We have always been appreciative
of the help, but along the way we tried not
to become a burden. After we got married, we got
a loan for home improvements, and my husband decided to
(01:27):
chip in and help my sister and brother in law
with redoing their outdoor kitchen. My husband and I bought
a very expensive grill and smoker for them. Instead of
being grateful, my brother in law was offended and said
he couldn't accept the gift. From then on, our relationship
turned into a competition. My sister and I aren't as
(01:48):
close as we once were because she told me that
her husband is better than mine. Things were fine and
dandy as long as we were needy, but now my
husband is one of the most respected in our area
and she can't take it. When I got my new car,
when I got a new car, she got a new car,
more expensive car. I got breast and plants, so did she.
(02:11):
Both of our husbands are successful and great fathers, So
why can't she be happy for us? Should I even
try to repair our relationship. Wow, I just think, here
and simple, this is nothing but jealousy and hate ration
from your sister and her husband. I mean, I think
you're exactly right. They were fine when you guys were
the needy ones, and now that you're doing well, they
(02:33):
just can't take it. I think it was nice gesture
of your husbands to help them with their outside kitchen
and to buy them those you know, the expensive smoker
and all the cooking equipment and stuff. I just don't
think they can take it now. It's killing them that
you guys, you know, are doing well. Your husband husband
(02:54):
is respected in the community and everything, and that just
doesn't seem to sit well with them. I mean sad.
It's your sister, it's family. You would think, like you said,
she would be happy for you and understand that you
were struggling, But now you're not. And you guys are
grateful for their support and you wanted to pay them
(03:14):
back in some way, and of course you know you
ask should you try to repair your relationship and that
would be nice and you know, because she is your sister,
But I don't know. I mean, they're so green with
envy right now. I mean, you get breast in plants.
She gets breast in plants? Okay, who does that? At
least with not without a conversation? You like them? Since
(03:36):
are they okay? Are they big enough? Did you? You
know all of that? You know that could have been
a conversation between the two sisters, but no, she made
it into a conversation. So I say, you know, you
can try because she is your sister, but don't be
surprised if she stays right there and her hate space.
Steve Wellness, I really don't understand this letter. I really don't.
(04:02):
It don't really seem like that big a deal to me.
I go through it and see you why I sold it.
I see the problem just Stephen Shirley. The subject is
her husband better than mine? My husband and I've been
get eleven years married for eight. My older sister has
been married fifteen husband like a big brother men to
my husband. You know, my sister bought my dress from
(04:23):
a wed and paid from a glam team. She always
took care of our parents and stuff. I was struggling
through graduate school and then I got pregnant for I
got married. So your sister and your brother in law
stepped in to help us out with the baby because
gold was for me to finish school and from my
husband finished medical school. We've always been appreciative of the help,
and along the way we tried not to become a burden.
(04:44):
And after we got married, we got a loan for
home improvements, and my husband decided, here we go, here's
something letter about. My husband decided to chip in and
help my sister and brother in law with redoing their
outdoor kitchen. My husband and I I bought a very
expensive grill and smoker for them. Instead of being grateful,
(05:05):
my brother in law was offended and said he couldn't
accept the guilt. From then on, our relationship turned into
a competition. Well, I see right here. I don't understand problem.
I buy you an expensive grill and the ultimate smoker
for your new outdoor kitchen, and you turn it down
(05:27):
for guess what my outdoor kitchen gonna be banging? Yeah,
he problem. Plus, you took some of your home improvement money. Anyway,
might well improve your home, you know time. You know,
I put me outdoor kitchen out there and it'd be
(05:47):
nice then, you know, she said, My sister and I
ain't as close because the whole relationship turned to a competition,
and then she once told you that her husband is
better than mine. Well see why your husband might have
been doing better than mine or while back. But we
(06:11):
can callt y'all. We're in a game now, you up?
We all? You got, we got, you won't, We won't.
You bought, we bought. But it turned into a combination
or competition. She wants to know at the end of
the lettershit, I try to repair our relationship, and I'm
(06:33):
gonna tell you how I think you can finally put
a stop to this week. All right, all right, Steve,
hang on, we'll have her two of your response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject her
husband is better than mine. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,
(06:56):
come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
her husband is better than mine? Well, lady got an
older sister, been married longer than her hurting, Her husband
was in medical school and graduate school and had a
baby before they got married, and their sister and brother
in law helped out. Everything seemed to be normal. That's
(07:19):
what families do. You know, everything they try not to
be a burden to him, and her older sister had
always been the one to help her parents out and everything.
And finally you and your husband got married and he
got a loan for home improvement, and your husband decided
to chip in and help your sister and his brother
in law, who's done so much for them, with redoing
(07:40):
that out though kitchen, so your husband and you wouldn't
bought this expensive greal and a smoke. And instead of
being grateful, the brother in law was offended and said
he couldn't accept the guilt. From then on, our relationship
turned into a competition. My sister and I aren't as
close as we weren't worth because she told me her
husband is better than mine. Well, let's see, she said
(08:03):
that for a while. You know, they were doing better
than you all. You know, but my husband is better
than yours. You know, I'm already bought y'all this grilled
in this smoker you didn't want, which means I've been
had a baller backyard out door BARBQ. Now, thank you,
and so let's just move along. But here things got
(08:25):
a little different, though, And things was fining, Danny. As
long as we were needy. But now my husband is
one of the most respected doctors in our area and
she can't take him. When I got a new car,
she got a new and more expensive car. I got
breasting plants she did. Both our husbands are successful and
(08:45):
great father, so why can't she be happy for us?
She'd even try to repair relations. I don't know if
this needs repairing. It don't seem like that big a
deal than me. But if you want to put a
stop to it, to have some suggestions for it. You said,
when you got a new car, she got a new,
more expensive car. Well you know what your next movie is,
(09:05):
don't you. You got to go buy a more expensive
car than the one she bought. Nah, let's see where
she go with this. Oh, since we up in each other,
you got to go buy card and more expensive than
the one she bought and see what she do. Then
(09:27):
you ought to call up your sister and say, hey, look,
remember the best breasting plants I got and you wouldn't
got some. I'm going back down now and I'm gonna
go with I'm gonna put her, I'm gonna get an
extra d I'm gonna I'm gonna go get it. I'm
I'm gonna get double ds this time. Yeah. Now, let's
(09:48):
see if she wants to try to get an e. See,
I don't know. I'll tell you what. She ain't gonna
be able to cool coffee if she messing with me,
because I have a breast right up under her throat.
They'll be so deep. But you want to be able
(10:09):
to see your food you're eating on the table. Yeah,
I'm for all this hell, but it all seriousness. You know,
let's look at this the right way. It's a competition thing.
So what some people can't take them when you do better.
Some people like it when when they're doing better than you,
the underdog. Some people just don't like to see you up.
Even that's that's a sad person right there, and it's
(10:34):
really nothing you can do for them. But if that's
her objective is to keep you under her, the best
thing you could do is just keep winning. I don't
know how to repair that. I don't know how you
go to your sister, your relative and say, look, I
don't want to compete with you, but we're doing okay. Now.
It's really I don't really see how what it is
what y'all think, because I don't really know. I don't can't.
(10:56):
I mean, like I said that, because she is family,
But I don't think it's gonna do any good. The
sisters probably just gonna stay where she is because she
It gave her something to be able to provide for
the family and be the one that everybody came to.
You know what I'm saying. Everyone. She provided for her family,
(11:16):
for her parents and everything. So she she liked that
position and that feeling. And now that's well, what I
sister to do is go get some new friends. God,
you you can find you listen to me, you can
find somebody got more than you. Trust me. You can
stay out there, see you can. Let me tell you something.
(11:37):
Don't go out here trying to get into competition who
got the most, because you're gonna be in the world
and trouble out here in this world right here, man,
because I don't care where you go. Somebody can show
you something. But don you know, man, I saw a
meeting where a group of people was laughing at Jeff
Bezo's money, laughing out love. And he's supposed to be
(11:58):
the richest man in the world, right he's not. But
that's I've been. I've been in me where they was
laughing at I saw it. But everybody can be great.
There's room for everybody to be great. What's the competition about?
Live your life? But there are some people who make
their greatness based on the least of other people, if
(12:20):
that makes sense. Some people make their greatness based on
the group they end and if they're doing better than
everybody in their group, then that's their greatness. Yea. And
that's a sad way to live. That's truly sad way
to live. That's not cool at all. That's sad. That's sad. Man.
When you're making your greatness be on the backs of
(12:41):
others who have less, that ain't nothing right there. That's
like being the richest richest person in the projects. And
ain't we all steal in the projects? Don't right? Or
help get them home. It's such a great feeling when
you can pay someone back who's helped you. I mean,
come on anyway, all right? You can leave your comments
(13:03):
on Today's Letter on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up
next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning show
Well, now, guys, it is time for today's Strawberry Letter.
And if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com. And all you have to do is click
submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, and who knows, we could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now. You
(00:22):
hear that you never know, it could be yours, It
could be yours. You never know. Buckle oppinhold on type.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Subject Her husband is better than mine. Dear Stephen Shirley,
My husband and I have been together for eleven years
total and married for eight. My older sister has been
(00:42):
married for fifteen years, and her husband is like a
big brother and mentor for my husband. My sister and
her husband have always done great financially, and when I
got married, my sister bought my dress and paid for
my glam team. She's always been the one to take
care of my parents as well. I was struggling through
graduate school and then I got pregnant before I got married,
(01:05):
so my sister and brother in law stelfed In stepped
in to help us out with the baby because the
goal was for me to finish school and for my
husband to finish medical school. We have always been appreciative
of the help, but along the way we tried not
to become a burden. After we got married, we got
a loan for home improvements, and my husband decided to
(01:27):
chip in and help my sister and brother in law
with redoing their outdoor kitchen. My husband and I bought
a very expensive grill and smoker for them. Instead of
being grateful, my brother in law was offended and said
he couldn't accept the gift. From then on, our relationship
turned into a competition. My sister and I aren't as
(01:48):
close as we once were because she told me that
her husband is better than mine. Things were fine and
dandy as long as we were needy, but now my
husband is one of the most respected in our area
and she can't take it. When I got my new car,
when I got a new car, she got a new car,
more expensive car. I got breast and plants, so did she.
(02:11):
Both of our husbands are successful and great fathers, So
why can't she be happy for us? Should I even
try to repair our relationship. Wow, I just think, here
and simple, this is nothing but jealousy and hate ration
from your sister and her husband. I mean, I think
you're exactly right. They were fine when you guys were
the needy ones, and now that you're doing well, they
(02:33):
just can't take it. I think it was nice gesture
of your husbands to help them with their outside kitchen
and to buy them those you know, the expensive smoker
and all the cooking equipment and stuff. I just don't
think they can take it now. It's killing them that
you guys, you know, are doing well. Your husband husband
(02:54):
is respected in the community and everything, and that just
doesn't seem to sit well with them. I mean sad.
It's your sister, it's family. You would think, like you said,
she would be happy for you and understand that you
were struggling, But now you're not. And you guys are
grateful for their support and you wanted to pay them
(03:14):
back in some way, and of course you know you
ask should you try to repair your relationship and that
would be nice and you know, because she is your sister,
But I don't know. I mean, they're so green with
envy right now. I mean, you get breast in plants.
She gets breast in plants? Okay, who does that? At
least with not without a conversation? You like them? Since
(03:36):
are they okay? Are they big enough? Did you? You
know all of that? You know that could have been
a conversation between the two sisters, but no, she made
it into a conversation. So I say, you know, you
can try because she is your sister, but don't be
surprised if she stays right there and her hate space.
Steve Wellness, I really don't understand this letter. I really don't.
(04:02):
It don't really seem like that big a deal to me.
I go through it and see you why I sold it.
I see the problem just Stephen Shirley. The subject is
her husband better than mine? My husband and I've been
get eleven years married for eight. My older sister has
been married fifteen husband like a big brother men to
my husband. You know, my sister bought my dress from
(04:23):
a wed and paid from a glam team. She always
took care of our parents and stuff. I was struggling
through graduate school and then I got pregnant for I
got married. So your sister and your brother in law
stepped in to help us out with the baby because
gold was for me to finish school and from my
husband finished medical school. We've always been appreciative of the help,
and along the way we tried not to become a burden.
(04:44):
And after we got married, we got a loan for
home improvements, and my husband decided, here we go, here's
something letter about. My husband decided to chip in and
help my sister and brother in law with redoing their
outdoor kitchen. My husband and I I bought a very
expensive grill and smoker for them. Instead of being grateful,
(05:05):
my brother in law was offended and said he couldn't
accept the guilt. From then on, our relationship turned into
a competition. Well, I see right here. I don't understand problem.
I buy you an expensive grill and the ultimate smoker
for your new outdoor kitchen, and you turn it down
(05:27):
for guess what my outdoor kitchen gonna be banging? Yeah,
he problem. Plus, you took some of your home improvement money. Anyway,
might well improve your home, you know time. You know,
I put me outdoor kitchen out there and it'd be
(05:47):
nice then, you know, she said, My sister and I
ain't as close because the whole relationship turned to a competition,
and then she once told you that her husband is
better than mine. Well see why your husband might have
been doing better than mine or while back. But we
(06:11):
can callt y'all. We're in a game now, you up?
We all? You got, we got, you won't, We won't.
You bought, we bought. But it turned into a combination
or competition. She wants to know at the end of
the lettershit, I try to repair our relationship, and I'm
(06:33):
gonna tell you how I think you can finally put
a stop to this week. All right, all right, Steve,
hang on, we'll have her two of your response coming
up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject her
husband is better than mine. We'll get back into it
right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right,
(06:56):
come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
her husband is better than mine? Well, lady got an
older sister, been married longer than her hurting, Her husband
was in medical school and graduate school and had a
baby before they got married, and their sister and brother
in law helped out. Everything seemed to be normal. That's
(07:19):
what families do. You know, everything they try not to
be a burden to him, and her older sister had
always been the one to help her parents out and everything.
And finally you and your husband got married and he
got a loan for home improvement, and your husband decided
to chip in and help your sister and his brother
in law, who's done so much for them, with redoing
(07:40):
that out though kitchen, so your husband and you wouldn't
bought this expensive greal and a smoke. And instead of
being grateful, the brother in law was offended and said
he couldn't accept the guilt. From then on, our relationship
turned into a competition. My sister and I aren't as
close as we weren't worth because she told me her
husband is better than mine. Well, let's see, she said
(08:03):
that for a while. You know, they were doing better
than you all. You know, but my husband is better
than yours. You know, I'm already bought y'all this grilled
in this smoker you didn't want, which means I've been
had a baller backyard out door BARBQ. Now, thank you,
and so let's just move along. But here things got
(08:25):
a little different, though, And things was fining, Danny. As
long as we were needy. But now my husband is
one of the most respected doctors in our area and
she can't take him. When I got a new car,
she got a new and more expensive car. I got
breasting plants she did. Both our husbands are successful and
(08:45):
great father, so why can't she be happy for us?
She'd even try to repair relations. I don't know if
this needs repairing. It don't seem like that big a
deal than me. But if you want to put a
stop to it, to have some suggestions for it. You said,
when you got a new car, she got a new,
more expensive car. Well you know what your next movie is,
(09:05):
don't you. You got to go buy a more expensive
car than the one she bought. Nah, let's see where
she go with this. Oh, since we up in each other,
you got to go buy card and more expensive than
the one she bought and see what she do. Then
(09:27):
you ought to call up your sister and say, hey, look,
remember the best breasting plants I got and you wouldn't
got some. I'm going back down now and I'm gonna
go with I'm gonna put her, I'm gonna get an
extra d I'm gonna I'm gonna go get it. I'm
I'm gonna get double ds this time. Yeah. Now, let's
(09:48):
see if she wants to try to get an e. See,
I don't know. I'll tell you what. She ain't gonna
be able to cool coffee if she messing with me,
because I have a breast right up under her throat.
They'll be so deep. But you want to be able
(10:09):
to see your food you're eating on the table. Yeah,
I'm for all this hell, but it all seriousness. You know,
let's look at this the right way. It's a competition thing.
So what some people can't take them when you do better.
Some people like it when when they're doing better than you,
the underdog. Some people just don't like to see you up.
Even that's that's a sad person right there, and it's
(10:34):
really nothing you can do for them. But if that's
her objective is to keep you under her, the best
thing you could do is just keep winning. I don't
know how to repair that. I don't know how you
go to your sister, your relative and say, look, I
don't want to compete with you, but we're doing okay. Now.
It's really I don't really see how what it is
what y'all think, because I don't really know. I don't can't.
(10:56):
I mean, like I said that, because she is family,
But I don't think it's gonna do any good. The
sisters probably just gonna stay where she is because she
It gave her something to be able to provide for
the family and be the one that everybody came to.
You know what I'm saying. Everyone. She provided for her family,
(11:16):
for her parents and everything. So she she liked that
position and that feeling. And now that's well, what I
sister to do is go get some new friends. God,
you you can find you listen to me, you can
find somebody got more than you. Trust me. You can
stay out there, see you can. Let me tell you something.
(11:37):
Don't go out here trying to get into competition who
got the most, because you're gonna be in the world
and trouble out here in this world right here, man,
because I don't care where you go. Somebody can show
you something. But don you know, man, I saw a
meeting where a group of people was laughing at Jeff
Bezo's money, laughing out love. And he's supposed to be
(11:58):
the richest man in the world, right he's not. But
that's I've been. I've been in me where they was
laughing at I saw it. But everybody can be great.
There's room for everybody to be great. What's the competition about?
Live your life? But there are some people who make
their greatness based on the least of other people, if
(12:20):
that makes sense. Some people make their greatness based on
the group they end and if they're doing better than
everybody in their group, then that's their greatness. Yea. And
that's a sad way to live. That's truly sad way
to live. That's not cool at all. That's sad. That's sad. Man.
When you're making your greatness be on the backs of
(12:41):
others who have less, that ain't nothing right there. That's
like being the richest richest person in the projects. And
ain't we all steal in the projects? Don't right? Or
help get them home. It's such a great feeling when
you can pay someone back who's helped you. I mean,
come on anyway, all right? You can leave your comments
(13:03):
on Today's Letter on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up
next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning show
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