How Far Is Too Far With My Man

Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I have been together for 2 years and we’ve been married for six months. I’m 28 and he’s 3 years younger than I am. I have a 7 year old son from a previous relationship and my husband loves him to death. I started having sex when I was in middle school and by the time I was a senior in high school, I was running with a crew of girls and working as an escort for older men.............................

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, it's time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. You never know we could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're going to read this one right here, right now,
And you never know. It could be yours, could be yours.
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

(00:22):
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter,
subject how far is too Far? With my man? Dear
Stephen Shirley. My husband and I have been together for
two years and we've been married for six months. I'm
twenty eight and he's three years younger than I am.
I have a seven year old son from a previous relationship,
and my husband loves him to death. I started having

(00:44):
sex when I was in middle school, and by the
time I was a senior in high school, I was
running with a crew of girls and working as an
escort for older men's I loved sex and couldn't get
enough of it. I'm way more advanced sexually than my husband,
and because of past encounters with older men, After I
had my son, I stopped partying and tried to make

(01:07):
things work with my son's father. He soon found out
about my reputation and he dumped me. I joined a church,
and I guess you could say I got saved. I
met my new husband at church, and I played the
wholesome role the whole time we dated, and I even
abstain from having sex with him until we got married.

(01:27):
My problem is there's no way for me to suppress
the fire that's deep inside my soul. I love sex
and everything about it. I've tried to ease my husband
into my world gradually, and he says each time we
make love, it gets better and better. I was honest
about my past, well, not totally honest about the number

(01:50):
of men I've been with or about my bad reputation.
I told him I learned a lot from an older
man I was dating. He says he loves the kinky
thing I do to him, but the other night he
got offended and asked me to stop doing what I
was doing. This is a problem for me because I
need him to match my freakiness in the bedroom, and

(02:12):
he's reluctant to go all in with me. How far
is too far with my new husband. Please advise, well,
too far with the other person is whatever they say
is too far. Okay. If your husband is uncomfortable and
turned off, it's time to stop. I mean, you're too

(02:33):
much for him right now. And whatever freaky offensive thing
you did for him to him, he is not feeling
it at all. You don't have to do or you
don't have to show him everything you've ever done in
the bedroom. We get it. You love sex, we get it,
we get it. You guys can still have fun enjoy
each other. But you've got so much experience in him,
like you said, so don't expect that he's ever going

(02:57):
to match your freakiness. That may never happen. I say,
take it slow. You got to really take it slow
with your husband. I mean, I know you said, you
know every time you guys make love it gets better
and better. But whatever you did he didn't like. He
didn't like that at all. I don't think you need
to do everything or show him everything, or tell him

(03:18):
how many men you've been within the past and all that.
You don't have to do that. You have plenty of time,
you know in this marriage. You guys are so young
to swing from the chandeliers later, But what stop doing
what you're doing because because it's turning your man off,
and that's going to be a problem in your marriage
if you don't. Steve, I don't know how to answer

(03:40):
this letter, because you know she did. I have some
questions about what she's doing and what she's done, and
then I think I have a solution. I'm not really
sure how to do this letter. I can't solve your problem.
Let me just start by telling you that I've read

(04:01):
the letter. I've heard Sherley's response. I don't really have
anything for you except one thing, and I'll probably wait
till the second half of this letter to give it
to you. But just let me tell you something. Your
past has caught up with you. You've been having sex
since she was in middle school. Now, you got a

(04:23):
three year old son by your former guy that you
were dating. When he found out about your past, he
dumped you. You got a seven year old son that
you had from your relationship with a man before and
after he found out about your reputation and everything, he
dumped you. You try to make it work, you stop

(04:44):
partying and stuff. But once he found out about your reputation,
he dun't jump you. Then you joined the church, and
I guess you could say I got saved. Well, I
see that's a little shaky thing to say. I guess
you could say I got Say no, you have to
tell us if you I saved or not. If you're
not saved, it's no problem. Most people aren't. That's not
a problem. You can still be okay, But you have

(05:08):
to tell us that and not know. We ain't got
the guests you saved or nothing. Then you met your
new husband at church, and you played the wholesome role
the whole time you dated, and you even sustained from
having sex with him until we got married. I don't
know how you marriage you, but I don't know what
y'all did or something have. Anyway, my problem is there's
no way for me to suppress the fire that's deep
in my soul. I love sex and everything about it,

(05:31):
you know. And then you said I've tried to ease
my husband into my world gradually, and he says, each
time we make love it gets better. I don't know
what to do. It's I think you got to stop
easy him into it. You're just gonna have to go
for it. But you got a problem because you're not
You've been honest about your past, but not totally honest

(05:53):
about the number of me and I've been with, or
about my bad reputation. I don't think you need to
bring that up. Leave that in your pass youngly. I
told him I've learned a lot from an older man
I was dating. He says he loves the kinky things
I do to him. But the other night, here we
go with the whole letter, he got offended and asked
me to stop doing what I was doing. That is
a part of this letter we got to get to.

(06:14):
And this is the problem with me because I need
him to match my freakiness in the bad room, and
he's reluctant to go all in with me. How far
is too far with my new husband? Please advise when
I come back, Ah, I give you a list of
things that I think is too far. Okay, that's all
I can help you with. I don't know what you're doing,

(06:37):
but when we come back, I do know what too
far is. Yeah, it's whatever you say, it is, all right.
Part two of Steve's responses, coming up to twenty three
minutes after today's Strawberry letter, subject how far is too
far with my man? We'll be back right after this.
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,

(06:57):
let's recap today's strawberry letter. This is a freaky one
right here. The subject is how far it's too far
with my man? Well, this girl who's twenty eight and
it's got this man that's three years younger. She's got
a seven year old son from a previous relationship, and
the husband loves the little boy. She admitted that she

(07:20):
started having sex when she was in middle school and
started running with a crew of girls. By the time
she was in high school, there was an escort for
older men. She said, I loved sex and I couldn't
get enough of it. I'm way more advanced sexually than
my husband because of my past encounters with older men. Lord,
have mercy, this story is getting more troublesome. Then, after

(07:41):
she had a son, she stopped parting and tried to
make things work with your son's father. He soon found
out about your reputation. He cut you loose. So after
that she joined the church and say she got saved,
and she met a new husband at the church and
played the wholesome rub role the whole time, and they
dated and even up staying from having sex with him

(08:02):
until we got married when you did something to make
him want to marry you. So probably didn't go all
the way, but you learned enough stuff to where he
wanted to marry. Congratulation. The problem is there's no way
for me to suppress the fire that's deep in my soul.
This woman loves sex so much, and she's tried to
ease her husband into my world. Sometimes you need to

(08:27):
leave your worlds behind, but now you want to drag
him into it. He says. Each time we make love,
it gets better and better seeing that you didn't ease
him into it now. But then you said you're honest
about your past, not totally honest with the number me
and you've been with. Don't ever tell him that, and
don't tell him about your bad reputation. Don't tell him
that I told him I had learned a lot from

(08:49):
an older man I was dating. He says, he loves
the kinky things I do to him. Here's what this
letter is about. But the other night he got offended
and asked me to stop doing what I was doing.
This is a problem for me because I need him
to match my freakiness, which may not be possible. You've

(09:13):
been with men since middle school. This boy right now
is three years younger than you. You twenty eight, heat
twenty five. You're taking him too fast. He asked you
the other night to stop doing something that you was
doing you. That's a problem for you because you need
him to match your freakiness in the bedroom and he's

(09:36):
reluctant to go all in with me. How far is
too far with my new husband? Please advise? This is
all Uncle Steve got for you. I'm going to give
you a short list of things that we probably don't like.
That's too far. Leave them tools in the tool box,

(10:01):
go outside in the garage, coming in here with nothing.
Don't don't do that that little red box. Lead that
thing shut. That's probably gonna be too far. You know,
there's other things I need to know. Need to know
this right here. None of my openings is to be open. Hello,

(10:26):
I just need you to know that none of my
openings needs to be open. Don't do that too far.
I'm just going I'm just telling what we don't need.
I just you know, isn't something else? Stop asking me? No,
I cannot lick my own toes. I can't do that

(10:50):
no more. I'm sixty five. If I could be in
my foot up that far, it'd be a mirror. Na.
I can't do that quick asking me, I tell you
something else? This too far. No, I don't want to
be choked quip asking me. Don't ask me to be choked,

(11:10):
and stop asking me to choke you. I don't like
your ass bugging out your head like that. It scare me.
I don't like that. Stop talking to me about getting choked.
Please cut your damn fingernails. This is too much. That's
something else that boma. Tell you something else. I don't like.

(11:32):
I don't like whip marks. Stop doing that to me.
I do not like whip has come on. Now. I've
been in here with you, but you're going too damn far.
Now all this here, this is not fun. I don't
like that. Stop that hurts. I want you to stop

(11:55):
what you're doing. Another thing right here. Your tongue is
too damn long. I think I only when I was
gonna took me how long say this to you? But
your tongue is too Yes, it is that this goes
back to some things I said earlier. But your tongue
is too damn long, and naw, I can't walk in

(12:17):
your stilettos. Stop strapping them on my feet. I broke
two pair of heels. Stop asking me that. I am
going to tell you that. Listen to me. I'm just
gonna tell you this. Listen to me, faby, not when
you going too far. My fist is just for fighting,

(12:37):
That's all this fault my fist. My fist is just
for fighting. When I bought these things up and I
throw these hands Jesus, just for fight. We get it,
you know, and I want one last thing for you.
Go come on, damn it. Quit biting me everywhere. I

(12:57):
don't like all that. Not everyone right. You can leave
us your comments on Today's Crazy Letter on Instagram and
Facebook at Steve Harvey, at them and too far. Then
check the letter was too far. Check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next, it is Sports
Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to the

(13:18):
Steve Harvey Morning Show