I Don't Want To Be Quarantined With Him

Dear Steve and Shirley, I am a 38 year old single mother of a nine year old son. I love my son with all of my heart and I’ve done the best I can to discipline him and instill great morals and values in him, but he is just terrible. His behavior is the worst of the worst and he may not make it through this quarantine with me. Since he started elementary school, his teachers have said he has a major attitude problem and is a very selfish child. He makes up excuses for his bad behavior and always says his teachers are picking on him. I have observed him, without him knowing it and he is bad as heck in class.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need
advice on a relationship, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.
Submit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and
click Submit Strawberry Letters. Shirley Strawberry is out today. Steve
will read the letter and I respond, let's get to it.

(00:21):
Let hell, let's go. I don't tell you that I'm tied.
Man don't don't want That's for sure why I don't
care for his he Hey hey, hey, old as just
ain't got nothing to do with you, Shirley Man. Now
he didn't want to. Now you do one. Ran Shirley off.
Now you're trying to act like she's still here by

(00:43):
giving her her intro. I don't want your damn intro
and you can't run me off? Who what? Who hate you? Wow?
I mean who hates it intro? Who hates the intro?
If you've ever been introduced like this, ladies and gentlemen,

(01:04):
a man who needs no introduction, and until you've had
that happened to you, you need an introduction. That's why
I pass on mine. Thank you very much. Let's get
on with this. That a subject I don't want to
be quarantine with him, just like I don't want to
be on the radio with them too. I don't want
to be quarantined with him. This Stephen Sherley, I'm a

(01:28):
thirty eight year old single mother of a nine year
old son. I love my son with all my heart,
and I've done the best I can to discipline him
and instill great morals and values in him. But he
is just terrible. His behavior is the worst of the worst,
and he may not make it through this quarantine with me.

(01:48):
Since he started elementary school, his teachers have said that
he has a major attitude problem, and as a very
selfish child, he makes up excuses for his bad behavior.
Always says his teachers are picking on him. I've observed
him without him knowing it, and he is bad as
heck in class. I have had him tested for behavioral

(02:11):
disorders and nothing's clinically wrong with him. Now at school
is shut down and he's home with me. I can't
deal with his disrespectful mouth and him ignoring what I
tell him to do. I had to go to the
post office on Monday, and he passed by McDonald's and
he told me he wanted to burger. I told him.
We had food at the house and he yelled so

(02:32):
loud at me. Almost had a heart attack, and he
threw a balled up napkin at me. I was trying
to gain my composure, and he grabbed a standing wheel
and we almost ran off the road. So now he's
endangering my life and his. He does not respond to
me taking his PlayStation or taking his TV out of
his room. He needs help with anger management and stiff punishment.

(02:56):
Whatever I'm doing is not working. The other night I
found him outside on the backdeck at eleven pm. He
said he needed some ap. I can't watch him twenty
four seven and I don't think I'll make it through
the quarantine living with this little devil. I don't have
any relatives that will take him in. I need some
tips to discipline. You. Can you please help me out? Man? Please?

(03:19):
Who wild? Steve Well, I'm gonna quickly give my answer
because I know you can handle this one. You are
a thirty eight year old single mom of a nine
year old who needs discipline. The teacher has said your
son has a bad attitude, he's selfish. You've observed his
behavior at school. Now you're at home with him. Quarantine

(03:41):
and you know you've had him tested for behavioral disorders
and nothing is clinically wrong with him. He is disrespectful.
He threw a napkin at you because you wouldn't stop
at McDonald's. He grabbed the steering wheel while you're driving.
You've punished him, no video games, you said, PlayStation. He

(04:01):
left the house still, going the back porch to get
some air without your permission. You say, you feel like
you were just quarantine with this little devil. Where is
his father now? This son of yours? He needs his
father or a serious father figure in his life now.
I would also want to suggest maybe some serious activities

(04:23):
like football, basketball, But I know it's tough right now
with the quarantine going on. You're stuck. You're stuck in
this temporary situation. But once things get better, once things
have gotten better for you, you need to put him
in a mentoring program. He is nine. He already has
no respect for you, so it'll only get worse as

(04:44):
he ages. A real father figure or a mentor is
the only answer for him. And you know, Steve, this
is what you do, your father, your mentor. I mean,
I started the mentoring programs for situations like this, how
much time I'm doing have so I can tell you this.
I have two four minutes. So here we go callins

(05:06):
hit it dead on the head. The main thing that's
needed here is a father figure or a male role
model introduced to this young boy as ap. You've got
it's got to be a coach, a school teacher, go
down there. One hundred black men are doing some great

(05:27):
mentoring work across this country. They have big brothers and
little sisters organizations out there that could be of service
to you if you don't have any relatives, like you
said in the letter. But you've got to get this
young man in front of a man. He has a problem.
The problem is usually a cry for attention. This is

(05:50):
usually something deeply wrong and he wants attention and he's
acting it out now. The part that he can't be disciplined,
that it's not true, but we can get into that later.
But when you have a young boy, the danger with
boys not being disciplined is as they get older, life

(06:13):
becomes their disciplinarium and it comes at a major cost
because if he don't start practicing discipline, the police gonna
give him some discipline. The system will give him discipline
and the boys out in the street gonna give him
some discipline, and they discipline don't come the same way
yours will. It will have catastrophic results. The police beat

(06:39):
you shoot. You boys out on the street now shooting
and killing each other, and they go into prison. You've
got to get him a real role model. When I
come back, I'll give you some suggestion at twenty three,
after the hour you're listening to. Every part of you
deserves to be shown off, including your under arms. If

(07:01):
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(07:24):
skin's natural tone in just twenty one days. Throw your
arms up and show off those under arms. Okay, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. Here's a thirty eight year
old mother. The boy's bad start in elementary schools or
teach us said, he's a major attitude problem. He's a
very selfish child. He makes up excuses for us bad behavior,

(07:46):
always telling you to teach us, picking on him. Then
you don't went to the class and observed. And when
he ain't know it, and he's bad as heck, you
didn't had him tested for behavioral disorders. You found that
ain't none really wrong with him. The schools and shut down.
Now you can't deal with his disrespectful mouth. A nine
year old to his mother with a disrespectful mouth, and

(08:09):
you can't deal with him. And then he ignores what
you tell him to do. And then on Monday, y'all
pass by McDonald's. He said he want a burger. You
told him we had food at the house. He holling
at you so loud you almost had a heart attack.
He threw a balled up napkin at you. You tried
to gain your composure. He grabbed the staring wheel and
we're almost ran off the road. He does not respond

(08:33):
to me taking his PlayStation or taking his TV out
of his room. He needs help with anger management and
stiff punishment. Whatever I'm doing is not working. Then the
other night, at eleven o'clock you find him out on
the back deck. He nine years old. He needs some
damn air. What nine year old need al? He nine?
He need al? I can't watch him twenty four seven.

(08:56):
I don't think I could make it through this quarantine
living with this little devil. I don't have relatives that
will take him in. I need some tips to discipline.
Can you please help me out? Now? For those of
you that are new school, don't listen to me. For
those of you, yeah, don't listen to me, do not

(09:18):
listen to me. But now I've told you in the
previous things such as Carler, he needs a male role
model immediately. But now this part about talking disrespectful to
his mother. This is part about grabbing sterewheels and hitting
you in the face with paper, balling up paper throwing
and hitting you in the Facebook paper. And then he's

(09:39):
not responding to taking his PlayStation in his TV. I
don't know why we ain't try to ask whooping yet
because see, I just don't know why that ain't come
up yet, Because if I don't have any relatives that
are taking me in, I need some tips to discipline Hill.
First of all, it's nine year old boy. Can't whoop you.
I promise you he can't. Not if you it mad

(10:00):
and strong. When a boy does not honor his mother,
you are raising a boy that's gonna be abusive to women.
A woman is the first A mother is the first
woman a boy loves. Most boys would die for their mama.

(10:21):
Most boys when it come to their mama, dog, you
can't because it's the first female he's ever loved. In
most cases, that is the case. Your boy don't see
it that way. See, he does not understand the importance
of significance of having a mother. A man can teach

(10:43):
it to him if a man was on the scene. Gonna,
wait a minute, what did you just do? I can't
imagine any of this that he's done. I can't imagine
doing this to my mom. I couldn't have did this
to my sister. I couldn't done no paper hit my
sister with it because I was raised by disciplinarians that
first of all, women were off limits. He don't know this.

(11:06):
I don't know why. You gotta right. You got to
try kicking his ass though. I don't care what people say, Steve,
you can't recommend doing that nowadays. You hit, I don't
give a damn bout no what Nwadays, I will knock
your ass into the middle of next week. Do you

(11:26):
hear me? What are you talking about? He grabbing, staring
wheels backhand his little man. I knock you are to
knock it, and plus see you the mother, y'all got rights.
I don't understand, see mothers. You then carried this baby
for nine months ankle swollen, stretch marks, weight, game loadedness, pain,

(11:51):
pre natal care. I don't We can't even relate to
birthing pains. And we men know nothing abo about this.
So I take my hat off to woman who give
birth to people. Wait a minute, that's the most incredible
thing to be able to do on earth, and you
disrespected the one person that brought here. Every mother should

(12:11):
have the right to knock your ass. I wish you would, Hey, man,
if my sons talk to my mom, man, my boys
would never do that. They was rains different. You had
never raised your hand to your mama. Let me explain
something to you. If you raise your hand to either

(12:32):
one of them, I'm kicking your ass, rightfuless really just
saying it. But you cannot. No matter how I feel
about a woman, I've never been physical in any shape,
form or fashion with the woman in my life, and

(12:52):
I'll be damn if I'm a little one of mine.
I don't give a damn what she say or what
she do. I don't care if she throw your ass
in the float up against the wall, shut your head
in refrigerator door when you come out. You're better not
say nothing to do, but you're not doing that. He
need his ass form. But you better get this boy

(13:14):
some help in the real role or role model, because
the system got something for him as soon as he
turned into a teenager. They're gonna check it. And that's right, Steve,
all right. If you want to comment, go to Steve
Harvey FM on the Gram and Facebook and coming up
at forty six after the hour, we're gonna switch gears.
Tommy is here. You got something for the dancers, you

(13:35):
got you got something. You got us. Right after this,
you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.