Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year with a wonderful man that I met online. We’re both in our forties and never been married. He is on the shy side and hasn’t dated a lot. When we met, I could tell that he was a lot more laid back than me and he did not have much experience with women, so I was patient with him and he started opening up more. I was also patient with him in the bedroom, after I noticed he was not as experienced as I am..............
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Episode Transcript
Time now for the today's Strawberry Letter. If you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, please
submit your Strawberry Letter to the Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
your letter just like we're gonna read this one right here,
right now. Bugle hold on tight. We gotta fire you
Strawberry letter. All right, here we go. Subject I'm starving
(00:26):
and I need a larger portion. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've
been in a relationship for a little over a year
with a wonderful man that I met online. We're both
in our forties and never been married. He is on
the shy side and hasn't dated a lot. When we met,
I could tell that he was a lot more laid
back than me, and he did not have much experience
(00:48):
with women. So I was patient with him and he
started opening up more. I was also patient with him
in the bedroom. After I noticed he was not as
experienced as I am. I had to teach him everything
and train him on how I like it. He did
everything just like I taught him, but he has not
tried anything new on his own. I encouraged him to
(01:11):
watch a few videos on a porn site, but he
says that those guys on there are wild and have
no respect for women's bodies. I wanted to yell at him,
but instead I told him that sometimes it's good to
go a little wild and crazy. He doesn't get it,
and on top of that, he's not that well endowed,
so I always end up starving for a larger portion
(01:33):
to feast on. I know this is something we can
work out, but I need to know how to reach
him and get him to be more open minded. I
don't want to scare him away by being the aggressor
in bed. He's dominant at work, when we're out on dates,
and when he interacts with his friends, but he turns
into a puppy dog in the bedroom. So surely should
(01:54):
I release my inner beast and show him what I
like or should I keep acting like a drill sergeant
in the bed telling him what to do. We're compatible
in every other area. Please advise, drill sergeant m nah,
I don't necessarily advise you'd be you know that you're
(02:16):
a drill sergeant or anything like that. That could definitely,
you know, me a turn off because men have really
fragile egos. You know you're yelling at him, do this,
do that? You know, and based on what you said
in the letter, that's not working anyway, So it might
be time to switch your game up. I don't think
you could take him too fast. I think you know
(02:37):
his pace is quite different from yours. You mentioned in
the letter that he was shy. He's in his forties,
he hasn't had much experience, so he's shy. I think
demanding that he watched porn and and do like those
guys in the videos that turned into a turn off
for him. So that's not it. I think in spite
of all this, you did put some work in. You
got him to finally loosen up, you know, and do
(03:00):
the things you taught him. But now you're mad because
he hasn't tried anything new and wild. Maybe he's just
not that guy. Maybe he's just not that guy, and
maybe maybe he never will be. I think you need
to be a lot more patient with him, except him
for who he is and his shortcomings that you mentioned.
That's if you're planning on staying with him, and it
(03:21):
sounds like you are. You said you think you can
work things out, but again not like the drill sergeant.
You have to compliment him and what he's doing, right,
You got to tell him how it makes you feel,
tell him you know the things that you like. Continue
to do that and ask him what he likes. You
didn't even mention anything about that in the letter, because
(03:41):
you know, just because you have more experience than a
man and all that, that doesn't mean that you're satisfying him.
That doesn't mean that necessarily if this doesn't get you
what you want in the bedroom from him, I mean,
you just gotta face some facts that this may be
as good as it gets and he might not be
that guy for you sexually. Sex is really important in
a relationship and you may be too advanced for him.
(04:04):
You just might be that. You know, it depends on
how much patience you had. And if that's the case, yeah,
that's the case, you might have to find someone that's
more sexually compatible with you. And that's okay, Steve, Well, well,
well look at him. Well I see this letter a
little bit differently. First of all, Shelly's advice was very
(04:27):
spot on. You should do all of what she say.
I've kind of read letter a little bit different some
time because I don't really care. You both in your forties,
they've never been mad, right there? Why? Why why both
of y'all in your forties ain't ever been married? See
something wrong with both of y'all. He too damn shine,
(04:47):
You too damn much. Yep, that's what it is. Yep,
you've been too much your whole damn life. That's why
you ain't never been married before. And he ain't never
been enough damn whole life. That's why his ass ain't
never been mad. So y'all just too fun of y'all people.
One of y'all too much in the earlier not enough,
And now y'all menage your own line, and now y'all
(05:10):
trying to make it work. When we met, I could
tell he was a lot more laid back than me. Hell,
everybody more laid back in you probably, And he didn't
have much experience with women. Ain't no whole body gonna
have all the experience you gotta sound like. I was
patient with him and started he started opening up more.
He tried to learn. I was patient with him in
(05:31):
the bedroom after I noticed he was not as experienced
as I am. Well that was good. You had to
teach him everything and train him high like it? Oh okay,
Or you're a trainer now, Oh oh I see, Oh
oh you're a trainer now, oh you makes people better
(05:51):
in bed? Could this explain why both of y'all in
y'all forties and ain't nobody being mad? You would train
him and he ain't ever been train I think I
see something in this letter right here. He did everything
just like I taught him, but he ain't tried anything
(06:11):
new on his own. Hell, all of it new to him.
All this you showed him, this is brand new. So
it ain't that he ain't trying that new. He trying
to perfect what he just learned from Who to train him? Girl?
You something else when I come back. I got plenty
(06:34):
more where that came from just sitting tight. Steve Harvey
on five is Morning. Yes you are see. We'll have
part two of your response coming up at twenty three
minutes after the hour. I'm starving and I need a
larger portion. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,
(06:56):
let's recap today's Strawberry letters. Subject I'm starving and I
need a larger portion. Well, I was on commercial break
and I'm doing the letter and someone was brought to
my attention that I have to address. I'm just talking
about the woman and the man in this letter right here.
I know it's a lot of forty year old women
(07:17):
out there, and ain't nothing wrong with you for not
being made. But your aunt saying a sex trainer too,
And that's what this letter is about. A sex trainer
and a sex student. That's what this letter is about.
So if you're in your forties, you don't have to
be offended because I'm only talking about forty year old
sex trainers and forty year old sex students. Now back
(07:40):
to what the hell I was saying. Now, she didn't
taught this man how to be everything she need him
in bed and do it just how he liked it.
And he didn't done everything she said. The problem is
he ain't tried nothing new. But now, like I told you, Earlien,
what you taught him is all new to him. It
(08:02):
is new, so he trying to perfect this. The problem
is he ain't perfecting it quick enough because you're ready
to move on to next level six dahn. See, he
didn't taught you what he knows, so you told him,
you said, I encourage him to watch a few videos
(08:23):
on the pond sight. But he said, those guys a
while and have no respect for women's body. I wanted
to yell at him, Joe, what they't do? Him? To take?
And that's their drill searching voice. Yeah, baby, I don't
want to do this to you. These men are rough
and they disrespect with his body. That's what I want, baby,
(08:48):
Listen to me. I don't want to be to go.
What the damn pay that? I want some clip me allver?
Throw me in the float? The hell you think I
gave you a damn video tape? Fault your poor cass
(09:09):
and there talking about it's true much. It ain't truth
damn much. You ain't enough. See that's the problem we
got that she too much. I wanted to yell at him,
but instead I told him that sometimes it's good to
go a little wild and crazy. I want some wild
and crazy sex. So now what I think you need
(09:29):
to do? Now here? And he got another problem too,
what's that he's not that well? And dial there you
go being go Now, I'm starving and I need a
larger portion. See in other words, well, no matter what
I tell you we're gonna come up little short. You
(09:49):
know what I'm saying. I mean, you know, I think
this information I'm about to be give you might be
a little thing. You know what I'm saying. I think
you need all or more fuller piece of information. I
think you need all. I think I need to. I
need to share with you something. Uh and that's got
a little bit more substance to it. That got a
(10:11):
little bit more fat on it, you know what I'm saying.
So let me just go on and give you some suggestions,
because you seem like you everywhere. So why don't you
bring a couple of monkeys in the room tomorrow night?
Just things like that. Oh yeah, go outside and ball.
The neighbor swain said they got kids. Bring a bring
(10:35):
a jim boree in there. You know, I'll tell you
what this is a cheaper you don't need this don't
even cost a lot. Get you a set of monkey
bars and put them in the bed room, or see saw,
bring a massage table in there. That don't cost him up.
You know, Buy a book call sex for Dumbies. You
know they got the dummy books for everything. If you
can't find a book, Yeah, you know, how about Bobby
(10:57):
Q grial rat just a rat. I don't know what
you're gonna do with it, but try something though. I
got an idea, because you seem like a real wild girl. Girl,
go down now and buy yourself a Politis machine and
bring that damn thinking that and strap your ass on
that and watch what happened then the burn. Yeah, you've
(11:21):
got to do some things. That's a little bit extra.
Now we're compatible in every other area, please advise. So
now let me say this, t system. You don't met
a man that's great in every area. Treat you like
a queen. Y'all talk, y'all, have a great time. He
do what you're told him do? He just he ain't
that will and died and he ain't He ain't in
(11:42):
her brain, you know. Now, surely said you could leave
him and go get somebody else. But now you got
some big man dingo up in there. Do all of that.
Paint you just the way you like to be painted.
Fry your bacon like you wanted fried, you know, rub it,
flip it, pain hat, toss you all that. But he
(12:03):
ain't worth for damn, you ain't compatible him. Don't want
to go nowhere. All he want to do is come
over and do it. So now I think you got
a good man him. I would work with him a
little bit, teach him a little bit more. You're gonna
have to let him know who you really are. And
this is how I want you to do it. When
he laying in the bed, I want you to crawl
(12:24):
from the bad food on the float up. I'm in,
I'm in. Go ahead, yes, just reach up with your
arms and snatch his ass in the float and vandalize
his ass. I mean really, just vandalize his ass and
(12:47):
throwing back up on the bed. Now, he could either
be better or he gonna leave you. I'm saying, all right,
post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
Instagram and Facebook. Coming up, Steve if we have more
questions for the cello. Right after this, you're listening to
(13:09):
the Steve Harvey Morning Show
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