July 28, 2020 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm a 44 year old woman who's been with a man for 5 years and he has had the same complaint for 5 years. He always whines about me knowing too many men. I was raised in the city we live in and my father was a prominent businessman and my family is well-known. When my boyfriend and I would go out, I'd run into guys that I grew up with, guys I worked with, went to high school or college with, etc. These are men that I’ve never dated or had sex with..................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, y'all, we have to first say happy birthday
to our girl, Sheirley Strawberrysday. Thank you, it's my birthday.
Thank you guys, showy alright, girl, a happy birthday. We
love you, Shirley girl. Thank you, Carl. I love you
guys to appreciate it very much. Oh, i'ld have took
(00:22):
you to Magic said it to night if we If
I was there, I ain't. We got them wings a
night girl. All right, listen, time now for my Strawberry Letter. Listen.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
(00:45):
FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're gonna read this one right here, right now. Let's
go buckle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. All right,
thank you. Few subject. I'm well known by a lot
of men. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm a forty four year
(01:07):
old woman who's been with a man for five years,
and he has had the same complaint four five years.
He always whines about me knowing too many men. I
was raised in the city we live in, and my
father was a prominent businessman, and my family is well known.
When my boyfriend and I would go out, I'd run
(01:27):
into guys that I grew up with, guys that I
work with, went to high school or college with, etc.
These are men that I've known that these are men
that I've never dated or had sex with. If I
mentioned a man in conversation, he asked how I knew,
how I know the man, if we've ever dated, and
what the nature of our relationship is. The final straw
(01:50):
was a few weeks ago when we went out to
a farmer's market and I saw a group of guys
that I went to college with me. I introduced him
to the four guys, and he was kind of rude
when he spoke to them afterwards. He almost caused a scene.
He yelled, I don't want to date a woman that
knows all of the men in town. He said that
(02:11):
I do not understand that men don't want their women
being friendly with men, and that it makes a woman
look easy. He also said it makes him look bad
when I'm so eager to talk to them. He told
me I should speak and move on. He has actually
lectured me on this several times, and about three years
ago he broke up with me over this. I love
(02:33):
this man, and I do not want to lose him
over something so silly. I have solid business relationships with
a lot of men. I am tired of juggling between
the man I love and the friends and associates that
I've known for over thirty years. Is this my problem
or his? Do you think our relationship can withstand this?
Or should I let him go be insecure alone? Well,
(02:56):
this is a problem, you know, with both of you guys,
because he's upset that you have so many friends. But
these are your friends, I mean legitimately, And I'd say
you definitely got it right when you mentioned insecure at
the end of your letter. He Sarey has a whole
show called Insecure, and your man sounds like he could
star in this show because he's acting a bit childish
(03:18):
and insecure. And why would he put all of that
on you and make you so uncomfortable? I mean, it's
humiliating when you do it in public like that, in
front of your friends. I mean, this is not something
you do to me, to a woman that you love.
If you're not insecure? Do you have to go to
you know, through the third degree every time you even
(03:40):
speak to a guy. I mean, I just think it's
a bit much. I mean, you didn't say he has
reason to feel this way about you. I mean, did
he catch you cheating with these guys, kissing them, sexting
with any of them? I mean, you don't mention that
at all in your letters. So I'll just have to
assume here that he hasn't come completely grown up yet.
(04:02):
I'm sure after five years you think you know you
want to have a future with this guy, and you
say you love him and everything, but he sounds just
way too immature and insecure. I don't think he's the
one for you if he doesn't want to accept the
fact that, like you said, you grew up there, you
went to school with these guys, You have professional relationships
with these people. I mean, doesn't he understand that you
(04:24):
did have a life before him. Everyone has a past.
You sound frustrated and tired here, not happy and in
love as you should be. Above all, please remember that
this is not going to stop. If you guys do
get married, it's gonna get worse. Probably he doesn't trust you.
That's the issue. He does not trust you, and he's
going to continue to embarrass you. Sounds like, or just
(04:45):
break up with you like he did before. I don't know.
I think you should either move to another city where
you know no one and start afresh, or let him go.
As I see it, those are your choices because your
man can't handle the tru steve. Very good response. Surely,
very very good. I see a lot of the same thing,
(05:08):
and let us. But see she forty four, she's been
with it due five years. He's been complaining about the
same thing. Now. You sent it up by saying you
was raised in this city, your father was a prominent businessman,
you your family famous, and you run into guys that
(05:28):
you grew up with, work with, went to high school
or college with. You ain't never dated them or had
sex with them. Okay, well, let's slow up. You've never
dated them or had sex with him. You forty four,
you single, You ain't dating nobody. You ain't you ain't
(05:49):
been here, you ain't had no body. See. The problem
is this dude is trying to figure out how he
come alone in this time. You was raised in, grew
up in socializing and educated in he thank you fine.
He trying to figure out how a nobody in all
(06:11):
this time to scooped you up. That's where he had
with this. I'm telling you how he's processing this so
you can understand. So now he can't understand how he
didn't got to catch me out and ain't nobody else
wanted Unless we come back, I'll tell you what else
(06:33):
he thinking. Okay, all right, I can't wait to hear it.
All right, act like a lady, think like the man.
I'm an author of that book. Yes you are, sir,
very good buck. We'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject
I'm well known by a lot of men. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to show,
(06:56):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
Let's subject I'm well known by a lot of man. Yeah. Yeah,
And that's the problem. You've stated in this letter that
you're well known, and your boyfriend go out. He'd been
complaining about the same thing for five years. You know
(07:18):
too many men, but these are guys you work with.
Your family was wealth, well known, your famous father was
big business man, and you've been in the same city, church, educated, school,
everything all right. Every time y'all go somewhere, you run
up into me and you speak when you're friendly. And
(07:38):
you never had dated or had sex with him. Now
you didn't had to date or have sex with somebody. See,
this is where your man is having the problem. Man,
you keep telling him you ain't dated or had sex
with none of them. He trying to figure out how
he didn't come to town scooped up to cats me out.
(08:00):
He thank you fine, and I don't know abody else.
Thank you fine. See that's what the problem is. Now.
Is he insecure? Yes he is, as Shirley said, But
the finer stragas. A few weeks ago we went out
to the farmer's market. Damn they know you're down there too. Yeah.
(08:20):
So now y'all down at the farmer's market. You saw
a group of guys you knew air last one of
them too. See this ain't adding up to dog. This
is what's wrong because you haven't told him anything or
enough about your past. Where he just been drawing conclusions
(08:45):
and he didn't drew a bunch of bad conclusions. I
introduced him to the four guys. He was kind of
rude when he spoke to him afterwards. He almost calls
it seeing. He yelled, I don't want to date the
woman to know everybody, all the dudes in town. God. Now,
is he immature? Yes he is, because the problem he's
(09:06):
having is see, instead of realizing that he got the
prize and being proud of it and walking around flexing.
Instead of realizing he got the prize, he too worried
about who had the prize. See, and who had the
(09:26):
prize is driving his ass crazy. You know why, because
he's looking in the real view mirror. He can't even
see what he got now. He broke up with you
three years ago over this same incident, and you begged
him back, you know. And then he said, when you
real friendly, make you look easy. No, being friendly don't
(09:50):
make you look easy. It gives men more of the
green light, but it don't make you look easy. He
told you should speak and move on. Damn dog. See, See,
this ain't really the guy for you. Don't seem like
to me. As Shirley said it right, when you get married,
(10:12):
it's only gonna get worse. He's actually lectured me on
this several times about three years ago, y'all broke up.
You know, I don't want to lose him over something
that's silly. But I got a solid business relationship with
a lot of men. See, this is gonna be a
problem because you got a lot of men. So now
let me ask you a question. All them whole lot
of men, you ain't seen one better than one you got.
(10:35):
I'm just asking. I'm tired of juggling between the man
I love and the friends and the associates that I've
known for every thirty years. Now, part of this is
your problem to system. So let me point this out
to you sometime. To get what you want, you got
to let go of what you had. Now, if maintaining
all these relationships and friendships is more important to you
(10:59):
than the relationship, didn't do it. Now. I'm not saying
he's correcting this, but some of this stuff you might
be just a little bit too much. I don't know you,
but you could be and you might be too much
for him. Now, some other man might be cool with
this hill, but this particular dude right here, with his
(11:21):
insecurities and the way he's not looking at you being
the prize, he's so worried about who had the prize.
Y'all either got to sit around and you got to
sit out and explain to him your previous life so
he can be comfortable with it, because right now he's
assuming you've been with everybody. She told him, Steve, she
(11:41):
told him, what these are men that I've never dated
or had sex with? Well, who have you dated and
had sex with? You? See, you can't be from the
same downtown damntown, No everybody and they had sex or
dated no damn body. What is that his business? Because
(12:01):
if he gonna make you his wife, he want to
know what he's dealing with. And the ain't no dude,
this is just the male ego, Shirley. No dude wants
to walk around thinking some other man that had this girl,
and even though that probably ain't even the case, he's
got securities. But she seems a little bit in this letter,
the way she wrote this letter, because it's so one sided.
(12:24):
She could be a little miss bubbly, bubbly, flirty, flirty.
You know, everybody like her. Everybody know that ain't in
the letter, but I'm just saying it. She didn't have
such I think she needs to sit the ass down
somewhere she flounces it. I'm on her side, not one
(12:46):
you sit out rubbing on his elbow. Stop touching him.
All right, Look, we gotta get out of here. Poster
coming some Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey. That and
just the Way I Walk. I got it like that
And check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Comes
(13:07):
Franks Now. Coming up, coming up after the hour, Junior
Sports Talk. Junior there I said it, coming up right
after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
All right, y'all, we have to first say happy birthday
to our girl, Sheirley Strawberrysday. Thank you, it's my birthday.
Thank you guys, showy alright, girl, a happy birthday. We
love you, Shirley girl. Thank you, Carl. I love you
guys to appreciate it very much. Oh, i'ld have took
(00:22):
you to Magic said it to night if we If
I was there, I ain't. We got them wings a
night girl. All right, listen, time now for my Strawberry Letter. Listen.
If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey
(00:45):
FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could
be reading your letter live on the air, just like
we're gonna read this one right here, right now. Let's
go buckle up and hold on tight. We got it
for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter. All right,
thank you. Few subject. I'm well known by a lot
of men. Dear Stephen, Shirley, I'm a forty four year
(01:07):
old woman who's been with a man for five years,
and he has had the same complaint four five years.
He always whines about me knowing too many men. I
was raised in the city we live in, and my
father was a prominent businessman, and my family is well known.
When my boyfriend and I would go out, I'd run
(01:27):
into guys that I grew up with, guys that I
work with, went to high school or college with, etc.
These are men that I've known that these are men
that I've never dated or had sex with. If I
mentioned a man in conversation, he asked how I knew,
how I know the man, if we've ever dated, and
what the nature of our relationship is. The final straw
(01:50):
was a few weeks ago when we went out to
a farmer's market and I saw a group of guys
that I went to college with me. I introduced him
to the four guys, and he was kind of rude
when he spoke to them afterwards. He almost caused a scene.
He yelled, I don't want to date a woman that
knows all of the men in town. He said that
(02:11):
I do not understand that men don't want their women
being friendly with men, and that it makes a woman
look easy. He also said it makes him look bad
when I'm so eager to talk to them. He told
me I should speak and move on. He has actually
lectured me on this several times, and about three years
ago he broke up with me over this. I love
(02:33):
this man, and I do not want to lose him
over something so silly. I have solid business relationships with
a lot of men. I am tired of juggling between
the man I love and the friends and associates that
I've known for over thirty years. Is this my problem
or his? Do you think our relationship can withstand this?
Or should I let him go be insecure alone? Well,
(02:56):
this is a problem, you know, with both of you guys,
because he's upset that you have so many friends. But
these are your friends, I mean legitimately, And I'd say
you definitely got it right when you mentioned insecure at
the end of your letter. He Sarey has a whole
show called Insecure, and your man sounds like he could
star in this show because he's acting a bit childish
(03:18):
and insecure. And why would he put all of that
on you and make you so uncomfortable? I mean, it's
humiliating when you do it in public like that, in
front of your friends. I mean, this is not something
you do to me, to a woman that you love.
If you're not insecure? Do you have to go to
you know, through the third degree every time you even
(03:40):
speak to a guy. I mean, I just think it's
a bit much. I mean, you didn't say he has
reason to feel this way about you. I mean, did
he catch you cheating with these guys, kissing them, sexting
with any of them? I mean, you don't mention that
at all in your letters. So I'll just have to
assume here that he hasn't come completely grown up yet.
(04:02):
I'm sure after five years you think you know you
want to have a future with this guy, and you
say you love him and everything, but he sounds just
way too immature and insecure. I don't think he's the
one for you if he doesn't want to accept the
fact that, like you said, you grew up there, you
went to school with these guys, You have professional relationships
with these people. I mean, doesn't he understand that you
(04:24):
did have a life before him. Everyone has a past.
You sound frustrated and tired here, not happy and in
love as you should be. Above all, please remember that
this is not going to stop. If you guys do
get married, it's gonna get worse. Probably he doesn't trust you.
That's the issue. He does not trust you, and he's
going to continue to embarrass you. Sounds like, or just
(04:45):
break up with you like he did before. I don't know.
I think you should either move to another city where
you know no one and start afresh, or let him go.
As I see it, those are your choices because your
man can't handle the tru steve. Very good response. Surely,
very very good. I see a lot of the same thing,
(05:08):
and let us. But see she forty four, she's been
with it due five years. He's been complaining about the
same thing. Now. You sent it up by saying you
was raised in this city, your father was a prominent businessman,
you your family famous, and you run into guys that
(05:28):
you grew up with, work with, went to high school
or college with. You ain't never dated them or had
sex with them. Okay, well, let's slow up. You've never
dated them or had sex with him. You forty four,
you single, You ain't dating nobody. You ain't you ain't
(05:49):
been here, you ain't had no body. See. The problem
is this dude is trying to figure out how he
come alone in this time. You was raised in, grew
up in socializing and educated in he thank you fine.
He trying to figure out how a nobody in all
(06:11):
this time to scooped you up. That's where he had
with this. I'm telling you how he's processing this so
you can understand. So now he can't understand how he
didn't got to catch me out and ain't nobody else
wanted Unless we come back, I'll tell you what else
(06:33):
he thinking. Okay, all right, I can't wait to hear it.
All right, act like a lady, think like the man.
I'm an author of that book. Yes you are, sir,
very good buck. We'll have part two of Steve's response
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject
I'm well known by a lot of men. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening to show,
(06:56):
all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
Let's subject I'm well known by a lot of man. Yeah. Yeah,
And that's the problem. You've stated in this letter that
you're well known, and your boyfriend go out. He'd been
complaining about the same thing for five years. You know
(07:18):
too many men, but these are guys you work with.
Your family was wealth, well known, your famous father was
big business man, and you've been in the same city, church, educated, school,
everything all right. Every time y'all go somewhere, you run
up into me and you speak when you're friendly. And
(07:38):
you never had dated or had sex with him. Now
you didn't had to date or have sex with somebody. See,
this is where your man is having the problem. Man,
you keep telling him you ain't dated or had sex
with none of them. He trying to figure out how
he didn't come to town scooped up to cats me out.
(08:00):
He thank you fine, and I don't know abody else.
Thank you fine. See that's what the problem is. Now.
Is he insecure? Yes he is, as Shirley said, But
the finer stragas. A few weeks ago we went out
to the farmer's market. Damn they know you're down there too. Yeah.
(08:20):
So now y'all down at the farmer's market. You saw
a group of guys you knew air last one of
them too. See this ain't adding up to dog. This
is what's wrong because you haven't told him anything or
enough about your past. Where he just been drawing conclusions
(08:45):
and he didn't drew a bunch of bad conclusions. I
introduced him to the four guys. He was kind of
rude when he spoke to him afterwards. He almost calls
it seeing. He yelled, I don't want to date the
woman to know everybody, all the dudes in town. God. Now,
is he immature? Yes he is, because the problem he's
(09:06):
having is see, instead of realizing that he got the
prize and being proud of it and walking around flexing.
Instead of realizing he got the prize, he too worried
about who had the prize. See, and who had the
(09:26):
prize is driving his ass crazy. You know why, because
he's looking in the real view mirror. He can't even
see what he got now. He broke up with you
three years ago over this same incident, and you begged
him back, you know. And then he said, when you
real friendly, make you look easy. No, being friendly don't
(09:50):
make you look easy. It gives men more of the
green light, but it don't make you look easy. He
told you should speak and move on. Damn dog. See, See,
this ain't really the guy for you. Don't seem like
to me. As Shirley said it right, when you get married,
(10:12):
it's only gonna get worse. He's actually lectured me on
this several times about three years ago, y'all broke up.
You know, I don't want to lose him over something
that's silly. But I got a solid business relationship with
a lot of men. See, this is gonna be a
problem because you got a lot of men. So now
let me ask you a question. All them whole lot
of men, you ain't seen one better than one you got.
(10:35):
I'm just asking. I'm tired of juggling between the man
I love and the friends and the associates that I've
known for every thirty years. Now, part of this is
your problem to system. So let me point this out
to you sometime. To get what you want, you got
to let go of what you had. Now, if maintaining
all these relationships and friendships is more important to you
(10:59):
than the relationship, didn't do it. Now. I'm not saying
he's correcting this, but some of this stuff you might
be just a little bit too much. I don't know you,
but you could be and you might be too much
for him. Now, some other man might be cool with
this hill, but this particular dude right here, with his
(11:21):
insecurities and the way he's not looking at you being
the prize, he's so worried about who had the prize.
Y'all either got to sit around and you got to
sit out and explain to him your previous life so
he can be comfortable with it, because right now he's
assuming you've been with everybody. She told him, Steve, she
(11:41):
told him, what these are men that I've never dated
or had sex with? Well, who have you dated and
had sex with? You? See, you can't be from the
same downtown damntown, No everybody and they had sex or
dated no damn body. What is that his business? Because
(12:01):
if he gonna make you his wife, he want to
know what he's dealing with. And the ain't no dude,
this is just the male ego, Shirley. No dude wants
to walk around thinking some other man that had this girl,
and even though that probably ain't even the case, he's
got securities. But she seems a little bit in this letter,
the way she wrote this letter, because it's so one sided.
(12:24):
She could be a little miss bubbly, bubbly, flirty, flirty.
You know, everybody like her. Everybody know that ain't in
the letter, but I'm just saying it. She didn't have
such I think she needs to sit the ass down
somewhere she flounces it. I'm on her side, not one
(12:46):
you sit out rubbing on his elbow. Stop touching him.
All right, Look, we gotta get out of here. Poster
coming some Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey. That and
just the Way I Walk. I got it like that
And check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Comes
(13:07):
Franks Now. Coming up, coming up after the hour, Junior
Sports Talk. Junior there I said it, coming up right
after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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