January 25, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m 32 and my boyfriend and I have been together for six months. He’s a great guy and everything I’d hoped for in my second husband. Yes, I say husband because he’s been talking about marriage already. We’re both divorced and ready to settle down so we got the important stuff out of the way early on. I get along great with his parents and my mother loves him.......................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, police
submit your Strawberry letter one of those juicy ones to
Steve Harvey FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
M We could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now, and you never know it could be yours,
(00:23):
all right, You just never know. Buckle hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is just Strawberry letter.
Subject and love and terrify. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty
two and my boyfriend and I have been together for
six months. He's a great guy and everything I hoped
for in my second husband. Yes I say husband because
(00:44):
he's been talking about marriage already. We're both divorced and
ready to settle down, so we got the important stuff
out of the way early on. I get along great
with his parents, and my mother loved him. He's in
a rental and I own my home, so he's planning
to move in with me. I have fallen for this
man and I can't see myself living without him. But
(01:07):
there's one thing I don't love and that's his size.
The first time I got married, I was really young
and inexperienced, and I had no idea how small my
first husband was. I had nothing to compare to because
he's the only other man I've been with. The first
time I was intimate with my current boyfriend, I called
(01:30):
my doctor the next day because I was sure something
was broken below. She let me know that everything was fine,
and she gave me some items that would help with intimacy.
None of that stuff works, and I feel like I
am letting my boyfriend down every time he tries to
make love to me. We talked about it, and he
assured me that he loves me and he'll be patient
(01:52):
with me. He also told me that he's never had
this problem with the female before. My doctor told me,
there's nothing thing wrong with my body. He's just too large.
I'm terrified whenever he starts coming on to me, but
I got to play it off. We had a heated
talk about our sex life recently, and he admitted that
(02:15):
he's disappointed and this could be a big deal breaker
for him. How can he make our intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? This letter threw me
a bit in the beginning, and I got to say,
this is a problem that many women would love to have,
and I'm sure many men would love to have the
(02:37):
same problem. We've had many, many letters about the size
of men and all of this, but it's usually We've
had many letters about the size of men, but usually
it's a complaint about them being too small, which was
the case you stay with your first husband. But we've
never had a letter if I can remember, Steve, I
(02:59):
don't know if I can remember about a man being
too large. And I guess there's a first time for everything.
You say, your new man is way too much for you,
and now you're terrified to have sex with him. But
you've checked with your doctor, and you've been checked by her,
and she said you were okay, and actually she said
(03:20):
you were better than okay. She said you were fine.
He said, your new man said he would be patient
with you, but his patience is running out. This could
be a deal breaker for him, he's saying, And you know,
I guess understandably so, because he would want to have
sex with you if you're going to be his wife,
but you still haven't been able to. Then you said
(03:41):
your doctor also said there's nothing wrong with your body,
and he's just too large. I mean, I don't really
know what to tell you in this situation. I mean,
you guys might not be compared compatible. You know, there
could be such a thing as this going along. I mean,
women have babies every day and all of this. Um,
(04:02):
but listen, I don't know what to tell you, honestly,
unless it's mental or something like that. If you can't physically,
you can't. But the doctor listened to what the doctor said. Steve, Wow,
Well you know I understand, Shelly. Do you say, we've
never had a letter like this and everything, but you
know this is like this is like so so up,
(04:25):
my alec really people for writing it, and you know
because game, you know, you know, game recognized game and
uh so I have a solution, but we're gonna have
to get to the solution in the second half of
this talk. Well, let's just go with some fact because
I'm too like Sherley, I was very confused at the
(04:46):
beginning of the letter because he's everything you wanted in
your second husband. You're both divorced, you've gotten all him
important stuff out of the way, you get along with
his parents and mom, your mama love him. You know
he's in a m told I own a home. Your
sounds like something for me. We was talking about off
the am. He's planning to move in with me. You know,
(05:08):
I feel for this man. I can't see living without him.
Blah blah blah blah. And then that's one thing you
don't love. That's his size. Not quite natural. I'm probably
like Sherley was reading this letter. Thing what very small?
We got small problems, you know, got something he and
then the first time I got married, you know, then
you started talking about how you was young and inexperience
(05:28):
and you had no idea how small your first husband
was because you didn't have nothing to compare to. And
then you got intimate with his current boyfriend and you
call your doctor the next day because I was sure
something was broken below, which means you know, you know,
came up in there, you know, you know, putting it
(05:48):
in work, you know, it's just up in there. You know,
he was whoop, he was aggressive. Let's just say he
was overly aggressively. You thought something had broke. She let
me know that everything was fine, and she gave me
some items that can help with intimacy. I don't know
what that was. You know I have, well I do
know what they gave me, but you know that ain't
(06:09):
what's let about. None of that stuff works. I know
that's called homeboard, homeboard, break all that up, you know
all that little stuff you don't bought back from the
doctor homeboy, and was damn about that right there. And
you know I got some I got some stuff. You
need to give him. You need to give him some
stuff because none of that stuff work. And I feel
(06:32):
like I'm letting him down every time I try to
make good. When I come back, I had answer. Hold
it all right. We'll have part two of Thief's crazy
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry Letters subject and love and terrified. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey
(06:55):
Morning Show. Come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is in love and terrified. Well, that's thirty
two year old girl who felt to found a man
in her dream, second marriage for both of them, and
never worked out everything. She owned, a home, he ran,
He gonna move in with her. The girl mama love
and parents love her everything going on. She has a
(07:18):
problem with his size though I thought he was too small.
Turned out through it was just the opposite, because she
didn't know how small a first husband was because she
didn't had nothing compared to so she thought he was
doing something. Then when Homeboard came in and put his
work helmet on. See Homeboard came in there, set that
igloo cooler down next to the bed and put that
put that hat on, that hard hat on, and set
that igloo cooler down next to the bed, and crawled
(07:41):
up in there on one knee off that bed. And
he went up in there and with the work came
up in there. Board like a grown ass man. Came
up in there, you know, came up with some artillery.
The boy came up in there there, you know, he
up in there with he came up there with military
terms and and and and you know, excavation devices and
(08:01):
came up in there with muscle launches, and call called
up in there with stuff nearly with you know, you're
in here playing with this little boy. Had the little
tenant bad the boy and came up in the bild
with some stuff that they don't even sell in the
gi Joe I is no more, you know. So he
came up in there and putting in work and it
came up there. So where you went to doctor next day.
(08:22):
You thought this man had broke some because he'd better
been there just clowning. You know, he all he up
on all ten of his toes just black. He just
got his toes select help in there, just let nickna.
And so anyway we have a problem. And now the
doctor and gave you some stuff to help you deal
(08:43):
with this. But the problem ain't chew because it's nothing
wrong with you. It's just the doctor told you he's
too large. So see he got started taking stuff. You know,
So now don't I don't hard to tell you this hill,
but you got to you got to get him to
the point where he gets excited a lot quicker. It's
what I'm trying to tell you. Got to get him
(09:06):
to get to where he going faster so he ain't
in there creating damage. And so what I'm about to
tell you as how this is going to work. Doctor
told is nothing wrong with your body. He just too large.
I'm terrified when he started coming on me, but I
played off. We had a heat to talk about our
sex life. Recently He admitted he's disappointed and this could
(09:28):
be a big deal breaker for him because he's never
had this problem with a female. Be he says, he's
never had this problem with a female before, but he
ain't with nobody though. Is he's had a problem. Some
women have just walked out us his life, just got
up and gotten the car, drove off and never called back.
Not Finn to do this? No more with you is partner.
(09:49):
You ain't Fenning come up in the hill like you're
looking for all every evening. We're not fend to do this.
So how can he make out intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? Well, here's what has
to happen. You have to have a talk with this
young man because he's thirty two. See he going going
(10:12):
at just the same way he's been going at it,
and it's creating a problem for you. So now here's
what has to happen. He has to change his depth perception.
He has to change his depth perception, meaning he has
to change what he think d is. See it's like
(10:38):
a swimming pool in a cave. And these are the
two analogies I have for you. See, you can drown
in five feet of water, or you can build you
a swimming pool has got a thirteen foot end on
it with a diving board, but you can drown in
three feet of water. So what you got to do
(11:00):
is get him to start drowning in less water, which
means he got to quit jumping in this pool like
he on the deep end. He got to come on
on this shallow end and get involved in the water
in a different way. Church say, man, a man, man,
(11:20):
I know y'all don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, see,
he got to set Let me give you an example.
He is a cave dweller. He's a man with a
helmet on with a mining light, and he liked to
go in the cave. What he has to learn is
(11:41):
he can't go all the way in the cave. He
gonna have to get happy by just being in the cave.
He can't go all the way to the back of
this cave. He has to learn to stay at the
front of the cave because it's too much back there.
We got to thank you. He got to learn how
(12:06):
to stay at the front of the cave. Now, well,
what you have to do is you have to make
the front of the cave, the focal point. It has
to be everything. I have a lot of knowledge on
this subject because I had, you know, I've had to
(12:26):
be understanding and now I just you know, I just
bought people who had the best life they can have. Now,
are they compatible? Not? Sexually, they're not compatible section And
it's not going to work unless he changes a couple
of things. His death perception. He gotta he has to
(12:46):
change what he thinks deep. And then he had to
play at the front of the cave and quit trying
to go all in the back of Thank you, poster comments,
poster comments on today's Strawberry Letters front and that month Instagram, Facebook,
we got it. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast they
(13:06):
wear a Light at coming up in forty six minutes
after the hour of Juniors here with Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the same Harvey Morning Show.
Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need
advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, police
submit your Strawberry letter one of those juicy ones to
Steve Harvey FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter.
M We could be reading your letter live on the air,
just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now, and you never know it could be yours,
(00:23):
all right, You just never know. Buckle hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is just Strawberry letter.
Subject and love and terrify. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm thirty
two and my boyfriend and I have been together for
six months. He's a great guy and everything I hoped
for in my second husband. Yes I say husband because
(00:44):
he's been talking about marriage already. We're both divorced and
ready to settle down, so we got the important stuff
out of the way early on. I get along great
with his parents, and my mother loved him. He's in
a rental and I own my home, so he's planning
to move in with me. I have fallen for this
man and I can't see myself living without him. But
(01:07):
there's one thing I don't love and that's his size.
The first time I got married, I was really young
and inexperienced, and I had no idea how small my
first husband was. I had nothing to compare to because
he's the only other man I've been with. The first
time I was intimate with my current boyfriend, I called
(01:30):
my doctor the next day because I was sure something
was broken below. She let me know that everything was fine,
and she gave me some items that would help with intimacy.
None of that stuff works, and I feel like I
am letting my boyfriend down every time he tries to
make love to me. We talked about it, and he
assured me that he loves me and he'll be patient
(01:52):
with me. He also told me that he's never had
this problem with the female before. My doctor told me,
there's nothing thing wrong with my body. He's just too large.
I'm terrified whenever he starts coming on to me, but
I got to play it off. We had a heated
talk about our sex life recently, and he admitted that
(02:15):
he's disappointed and this could be a big deal breaker
for him. How can he make our intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? This letter threw me
a bit in the beginning, and I got to say,
this is a problem that many women would love to have,
and I'm sure many men would love to have the
(02:37):
same problem. We've had many, many letters about the size
of men and all of this, but it's usually We've
had many letters about the size of men, but usually
it's a complaint about them being too small, which was
the case you stay with your first husband. But we've
never had a letter if I can remember, Steve, I
(02:59):
don't know if I can remember about a man being
too large. And I guess there's a first time for everything.
You say, your new man is way too much for you,
and now you're terrified to have sex with him. But
you've checked with your doctor, and you've been checked by her,
and she said you were okay, and actually she said
(03:20):
you were better than okay. She said you were fine.
He said, your new man said he would be patient
with you, but his patience is running out. This could
be a deal breaker for him, he's saying, And you know,
I guess understandably so, because he would want to have
sex with you if you're going to be his wife,
but you still haven't been able to. Then you said
(03:41):
your doctor also said there's nothing wrong with your body,
and he's just too large. I mean, I don't really
know what to tell you in this situation. I mean,
you guys might not be compared compatible. You know, there
could be such a thing as this going along. I mean,
women have babies every day and all of this. Um,
(04:02):
but listen, I don't know what to tell you, honestly,
unless it's mental or something like that. If you can't physically,
you can't. But the doctor listened to what the doctor said. Steve, Wow,
Well you know I understand, Shelly. Do you say, we've
never had a letter like this and everything, but you
know this is like this is like so so up,
(04:25):
my alec really people for writing it, and you know
because game, you know, you know, game recognized game and
uh so I have a solution, but we're gonna have
to get to the solution in the second half of
this talk. Well, let's just go with some fact because
I'm too like Sherley, I was very confused at the
(04:46):
beginning of the letter because he's everything you wanted in
your second husband. You're both divorced, you've gotten all him
important stuff out of the way, you get along with
his parents and mom, your mama love him. You know
he's in a m told I own a home. Your
sounds like something for me. We was talking about off
the am. He's planning to move in with me. You know,
(05:08):
I feel for this man. I can't see living without him.
Blah blah blah blah. And then that's one thing you
don't love. That's his size. Not quite natural. I'm probably
like Sherley was reading this letter. Thing what very small?
We got small problems, you know, got something he and
then the first time I got married, you know, then
you started talking about how you was young and inexperience
(05:28):
and you had no idea how small your first husband
was because you didn't have nothing to compare to. And
then you got intimate with his current boyfriend and you
call your doctor the next day because I was sure
something was broken below, which means you know, you know,
came up in there, you know, you know, putting it
(05:48):
in work, you know, it's just up in there. You know,
he was whoop, he was aggressive. Let's just say he
was overly aggressively. You thought something had broke. She let
me know that everything was fine, and she gave me
some items that can help with intimacy. I don't know
what that was. You know I have, well I do
know what they gave me, but you know that ain't
(06:09):
what's let about. None of that stuff works. I know
that's called homeboard, homeboard, break all that up, you know
all that little stuff you don't bought back from the
doctor homeboy, and was damn about that right there. And
you know I got some I got some stuff. You
need to give him. You need to give him some
stuff because none of that stuff work. And I feel
(06:32):
like I'm letting him down every time I try to
make good. When I come back, I had answer. Hold
it all right. We'll have part two of Thief's crazy
response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry Letters subject and love and terrified. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey
(06:55):
Morning Show. Come on, Steve. Let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is in love and terrified. Well, that's thirty
two year old girl who felt to found a man
in her dream, second marriage for both of them, and
never worked out everything. She owned, a home, he ran,
He gonna move in with her. The girl mama love
and parents love her everything going on. She has a
(07:18):
problem with his size though I thought he was too small.
Turned out through it was just the opposite, because she
didn't know how small a first husband was because she
didn't had nothing compared to so she thought he was
doing something. Then when Homeboard came in and put his
work helmet on. See Homeboard came in there, set that
igloo cooler down next to the bed and put that
put that hat on, that hard hat on, and set
that igloo cooler down next to the bed, and crawled
(07:41):
up in there on one knee off that bed. And
he went up in there and with the work came
up in there. Board like a grown ass man. Came
up in there, you know, came up with some artillery.
The boy came up in there there, you know, he
up in there with he came up there with military
terms and and and and you know, excavation devices and
(08:01):
came up in there with muscle launches, and call called
up in there with stuff nearly with you know, you're
in here playing with this little boy. Had the little
tenant bad the boy and came up in the bild
with some stuff that they don't even sell in the
gi Joe I is no more, you know. So he
came up in there and putting in work and it
came up there. So where you went to doctor next day.
(08:22):
You thought this man had broke some because he'd better
been there just clowning. You know, he all he up
on all ten of his toes just black. He just
got his toes select help in there, just let nickna.
And so anyway we have a problem. And now the
doctor and gave you some stuff to help you deal
(08:43):
with this. But the problem ain't chew because it's nothing
wrong with you. It's just the doctor told you he's
too large. So see he got started taking stuff. You know,
So now don't I don't hard to tell you this hill,
but you got to you got to get him to
the point where he gets excited a lot quicker. It's
what I'm trying to tell you. Got to get him
(09:06):
to get to where he going faster so he ain't
in there creating damage. And so what I'm about to
tell you as how this is going to work. Doctor
told is nothing wrong with your body. He just too large.
I'm terrified when he started coming on me, but I
played off. We had a heat to talk about our
sex life. Recently He admitted he's disappointed and this could
(09:28):
be a big deal breaker for him because he's never
had this problem with a female. Be he says, he's
never had this problem with a female before, but he
ain't with nobody though. Is he's had a problem. Some
women have just walked out us his life, just got
up and gotten the car, drove off and never called back.
Not Finn to do this? No more with you is partner.
(09:49):
You ain't Fenning come up in the hill like you're
looking for all every evening. We're not fend to do this.
So how can he make out intimacy the main focus?
Does this mean we're not compatible? Well, here's what has
to happen. You have to have a talk with this
young man because he's thirty two. See he going going
(10:12):
at just the same way he's been going at it,
and it's creating a problem for you. So now here's
what has to happen. He has to change his depth perception.
He has to change his depth perception, meaning he has
to change what he think d is. See it's like
(10:38):
a swimming pool in a cave. And these are the
two analogies I have for you. See, you can drown
in five feet of water, or you can build you
a swimming pool has got a thirteen foot end on
it with a diving board, but you can drown in
three feet of water. So what you got to do
(11:00):
is get him to start drowning in less water, which
means he got to quit jumping in this pool like
he on the deep end. He got to come on
on this shallow end and get involved in the water
in a different way. Church say, man, a man, man,
(11:20):
I know y'all don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, see,
he got to set Let me give you an example.
He is a cave dweller. He's a man with a
helmet on with a mining light, and he liked to
go in the cave. What he has to learn is
(11:41):
he can't go all the way in the cave. He
gonna have to get happy by just being in the cave.
He can't go all the way to the back of
this cave. He has to learn to stay at the
front of the cave because it's too much back there.
We got to thank you. He got to learn how
(12:06):
to stay at the front of the cave. Now, well,
what you have to do is you have to make
the front of the cave, the focal point. It has
to be everything. I have a lot of knowledge on
this subject because I had, you know, I've had to
(12:26):
be understanding and now I just you know, I just
bought people who had the best life they can have. Now,
are they compatible? Not? Sexually, they're not compatible section And
it's not going to work unless he changes a couple
of things. His death perception. He gotta he has to
(12:46):
change what he thinks deep. And then he had to
play at the front of the cave and quit trying
to go all in the back of Thank you, poster comments,
poster comments on today's Strawberry Letters front and that month Instagram, Facebook,
we got it. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast they
(13:06):
wear a Light at coming up in forty six minutes
after the hour of Juniors here with Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the same Harvey Morning Show.
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