August 31, 2023 • 13 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now, and
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Drawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Nephew's subject low vibrational loving. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am
divorced and I'm dating again. I've gone to counseling to
deal with the baggage that was part of the destruction
of my marriage. So I consider myself healed and I'm
ready to get into a healthy new relationship. But God
really does have a sense of humor. I went on
(00:48):
three horrible dates when I first got back on the
dating scene. I decided to try online dating, and I'm
matched up with a guy that looks great on paper,
but he has some issues with his finances. I don't
mind meeting a man halfway with the bills, but if
I got serious with this guy, I'd have to pay
our bills and his child support. I can't fold a
(01:09):
man for having baggage, but I also don't have to
take on a fixer upper. I just don't think that
God would put me through that again. Been there, done
that with my ex husband. So what's with all the
low vibrational loving with this new generation of men.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
I'm thirty four.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in
my age range that's successful, that's successful and ready to
settle down. I've been on first dates and have had
to pay for my meal, and the guys expect me
to pursue them. I prefer a strong minded man. He
doesn't have to be rich, but he needs to have
a plan. I work with a few married men my
(01:47):
age and they seem to be on the right path,
so I know good black men are out there. Some
women are accepting low vibrational loving and the bare minimum
from a man, and that makes it hard for women
with higher standards. I want to meet a man that
is on my level, but if I can't, how do
I help guide a man to greatness without belittling him
(02:09):
or making him feel inadequate? Okay, that's a lot of
work right there, I mean a lot. And it's not
your responsibility to like fix a man, that's not your job.
But you can encourage him, you can build him up,
you can stroke his ego, that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And it's perfectly fine.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
In having said all of that, for you to want
what you want out of a man, that's okay too.
It's great that you have higher standards. I mean, and
I could tell you're a good woman because you care,
You've gone to therapy, you've worked on yourself. You're willing
to help your man and elevate him to greatness. All
that is wonderful to you. And there are a lot
(02:47):
of good men out there. But there also are a
lot of to use your term, low vibrational loving men
and women in the world today.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You know that low energy.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
That's sad energy, low self esteem, energy going nowhere.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Just bad energy.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Okay, But again, there are a lot of good men
out there. If that's all you're running into, these kind
of low vibrational kind of guys, then you're gonna have
to do something different than what you've been doing. You
got to change your circle, you know, go different places,
try a new type of dating app et cetera. The
kind of man you want would not allow you to
(03:28):
pay his child support, let alone dinner and his bills
and all of that.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I mean, I just say, don't give up. You said
it in your letter.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
There are some good black men out there, so just
be patient, Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Let me just go and get into it.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
You divorced and you're dating again, so you had some baggage,
but you consider yourself healed after counseling. But then you say,
but God does have a sense of humor, and God
ain't do this though. See, God gives us all the
power of choice. It is the choices that we make
(04:02):
that put us in a predicaments or situations that we
find ourselves in. God didn't tell you to call either
one of these men. God didn't tell you to pick
one of them. You didn't even ask God. You went
on the date app and you did what.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
You wanted to do. This is you.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
God don't have a sense of humor, but he does
want to have a relationship with you where you confide
in him about things. Now, you got over this divorce,
which congratulations, and you went to therapy, so you didn't
bring the baggage. Congratulations. Then after you got yourself here.
You quit talking to God because you fixed now, so
you ain't asking him to help you find the man.
(04:42):
You went out there to find one yourself. The Bible
says when a man find it the wife, he finded
the good thing. So now while you out there husband hunting,
good luck. That ain't what you do. That ain't your
job finding a husband? Lord him good luck lady. Anyway,
(05:02):
So you decided to dating app, and you've matched up
with a guy that listened to this, that looks great
on paper, but has some issue with his finances. Okay,
so what paper were talking about? He looked good on
the dating app paper, but on the credit app. We
(05:25):
ain't gonna be able to rent this apartment. He ain't
gonna ever get to a car, so we ain't gonna
have nowhere to live and we can't drive off. No.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Well, well let's see.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Why am I sitting here talking to him?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
You say I don't mind meeting the man halfway with
the bills. See right there, stop all that. If you're
gonna have high expectations have him. Now, I'm not saying
you ain't supposed to chip in, because that's what the
marriage is. It's chipping in, So I applaud you with
your willingness to do that. But you want to meet
him halfway with the bills, But I'd have to pay
(06:06):
our bills and his child support.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Really that don't sound like fun to me anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
But if I got seised with this guy, you'd have
to pay the bills that. I can't fought a man
for having baggage. But I also don't have to take
a fixer upper. No, you don't. But when I come back,
I will get into this letter with you. And you said,
I just don't think God will put me through that again.
But see you didn't ask God about this man, though,
digit you picked him on your own.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Minutes after the hour.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
The Today's Strawberry Letter subject is low vibrational loving.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
We'll get back into it right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject low vibration.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
This woman's divorce, got on the dating scene, went to counseling,
got herself fixed up. She says, she's here. No baggage
from an ex husband, and so she started dating. Met
a great guy that looked good on paper, but his
finances was raggedy. So the paper she was looking at
was the online dating app. Who gonna put some incriminating
(07:21):
information on a dating app? Nobody? Everybody looked good on
dating app. Good looking guy, sharp, young, in shape, just
like you like it. Yeah, but y'all got some issues
with the finances. Now, you don't mind meeting the man halfway?
I could applaud you for that, But if I got
serious about this guy to have to pay our bills
(07:42):
and his child support. Oh, so you got to take
care of men. So you got to pay our bills,
which means your bills, his bill and his child support.
How this a good ass deal? Who signs up for this?
But see, you went out husband hunting, and this is
what happened when you go husband hunting once again. Like
I said before, I know y'all think scriptures is old
(08:04):
fashioned and stuff, but just stuff been around for a
long time and it's still hold true. The Bible says
when a man find that the wife, he find that
the good thing. It don't say when a woman go
out to find a husband, she can find a good thing.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
You are. Not hunters is not what you do.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Now, it's okay to put yourself on these apps, it's
okay to date, and it's okay to show them that
you're available. But if you're out there hunting for one,
that ain't what you do. You're uncomfortable hunting. You don't
know how to hunt. Most hunters if you go to
bass pro shopping. My favorite story in the world, when
you go to bass pro shops they have a women's section.
(08:41):
It ain't a big against the men's section. Though most
hunters are men. Some went to women hunt, but most
hunters are men. That are some women who are really
really great hunters, but the vast majority of men sitting
up in them trees, shooting deers and ducks, going bad
hunting and wild bull hunting.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Mostly men. Okay, so here we go.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Now, I don't think God would put me through that
again because you don't want to have a fixer upper.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
But you picked this guy, not God.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Remember you didn't go to God for this. You was
going to God to get over your husband. Then after
that you got healed, you went out there and start
making decisions on your own. So now you want to
know why God would send you through this, and what's
up with all this low vibrational love in this new general.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm thirty four.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in
my age range that's successful and ready to settle down.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Right here, it is hard to find a thirty four
year old man that's successful. That's a true statement.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
They are out there, but all the way successful at
thirty four. I was nowhere near very successful at thirty four,
but I was on my way.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I had a plan.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You may not want to fix her upper but most
men at this level, from just a few decisions away
from becoming successful, they need a woman.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Most men.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Now I'm not saying you can't be successful without a woman,
because there's a lot of men in the music business
and the pro athletes and sign the contract and you
can be successful. Hard to be great without a woman,
though most great men in history have had women by
their side. It's just hard to be great without a man.
I ain't got time to explain it to you.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Just take my word for it.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
But now, anyway, thirty four years old, it is hard
to find a man that's successful and ready to settle down,
because just like you all have a biological clock that's ticking,
and around thirty you want to start having kids and
make it all that. We got a financial clock and
we don't really get it to ticket until our late
twenties and thirties, after we'd have messed up all of
our twenties party and hanging out, running around trying to
(10:45):
figure it out. So, yes, it's hard, but they are
out there. What you need to find is a thirty
four year old man that's headed somewhere. He might not
be there, but he's headed somewhere. Then you want to
attach yourself to that. He may not be a fixer upper,
but he needs.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Some fix it, just like you do.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Yeah, everybody needs fixing. Like Marjorie is everything that I'm not.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
She's that.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So she helps me be a better version of me
because she's what I'm not and I needed that. We're
seventeen years in now, see, and that's comes from getting somebody.
And when she met me, I was I was successful.
I was broken up pretty bad. They had done a
(11:35):
number on me, but she came along and came in
there and got in the trenches with me and made
it work. I've been on first dates and had to
pay for my meal, and the guys expect me to
pursue him. I prefer a strong minded man that he
don't have to be rich. That's good, but he needs
to have a plan. That's exactly what I said to you. Well,
now you know that. What is you picking these other
(11:56):
men for? You see what I'm saying. You can't know this?
And then overlook this. Now, the dude that needs you
to pay his bills and his child support? What plan
he got? He just told it to you. I need
you to pay these bills and his child's support. You
can't hit yourself to that wagon. I work with a
few married men and my age, and they seem to
be on the right path. So I knew good blinking
(12:17):
black men out that they are. Some women are accepting
of low income, vibrational bare minimum from a man, and
that makes it hard for women with the higher standards.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Know it, don't know it? Don't?
Speaker 4 (12:31):
You just got to stay away from those types of men.
It's easy to find out. I ask some questions anyway,
I want to meet a man that's on my level.
But if I can't, how do I help guide a
man to greatness without belooking him or making him feel inadequate.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's an easy question for me to answer. You know
how you do that.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
You don't belittle him and you don't make him feel inadequate.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Tada all right. Post your comment on today's Strawberry Letter.
Thank you, Steve. It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app. Download it today free. Never sounded so good.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour at
Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Steve
(13:18):
Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if
you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now, and
you never know, it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Drawberry Letter.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Nephew's subject low vibrational loving. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am
divorced and I'm dating again. I've gone to counseling to
deal with the baggage that was part of the destruction
of my marriage. So I consider myself healed and I'm
ready to get into a healthy new relationship. But God
really does have a sense of humor. I went on
(00:48):
three horrible dates when I first got back on the
dating scene. I decided to try online dating, and I'm
matched up with a guy that looks great on paper,
but he has some issues with his finances. I don't
mind meeting a man halfway with the bills, but if
I got serious with this guy, I'd have to pay
our bills and his child support. I can't fold a
(01:09):
man for having baggage, but I also don't have to
take on a fixer upper. I just don't think that
God would put me through that again. Been there, done
that with my ex husband. So what's with all the
low vibrational loving with this new generation of men.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
I'm thirty four.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in
my age range that's successful, that's successful and ready to
settle down. I've been on first dates and have had
to pay for my meal, and the guys expect me
to pursue them. I prefer a strong minded man. He
doesn't have to be rich, but he needs to have
a plan. I work with a few married men my
(01:47):
age and they seem to be on the right path,
so I know good black men are out there. Some
women are accepting low vibrational loving and the bare minimum
from a man, and that makes it hard for women
with higher standards. I want to meet a man that
is on my level, but if I can't, how do
I help guide a man to greatness without belittling him
(02:09):
or making him feel inadequate? Okay, that's a lot of
work right there, I mean a lot. And it's not
your responsibility to like fix a man, that's not your job.
But you can encourage him, you can build him up,
you can stroke his ego, that sort of thing.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And it's perfectly fine.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
In having said all of that, for you to want
what you want out of a man, that's okay too.
It's great that you have higher standards. I mean, and
I could tell you're a good woman because you care,
You've gone to therapy, you've worked on yourself. You're willing
to help your man and elevate him to greatness. All
that is wonderful to you. And there are a lot
(02:47):
of good men out there. But there also are a
lot of to use your term, low vibrational loving men
and women in the world today.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You know that low energy.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
That's sad energy, low self esteem, energy going nowhere.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Just bad energy.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Okay, But again, there are a lot of good men
out there. If that's all you're running into, these kind
of low vibrational kind of guys, then you're gonna have
to do something different than what you've been doing. You
got to change your circle, you know, go different places,
try a new type of dating app et cetera. The
kind of man you want would not allow you to
(03:28):
pay his child support, let alone dinner and his bills
and all of that.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
I mean, I just say, don't give up. You said
it in your letter.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
There are some good black men out there, so just
be patient, Steve.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Let me just go and get into it.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
You divorced and you're dating again, so you had some baggage,
but you consider yourself healed after counseling. But then you say,
but God does have a sense of humor, and God
ain't do this though. See, God gives us all the
power of choice. It is the choices that we make
(04:02):
that put us in a predicaments or situations that we
find ourselves in. God didn't tell you to call either
one of these men. God didn't tell you to pick
one of them. You didn't even ask God. You went
on the date app and you did what.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
You wanted to do. This is you.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
God don't have a sense of humor, but he does
want to have a relationship with you where you confide
in him about things. Now, you got over this divorce,
which congratulations, and you went to therapy, so you didn't
bring the baggage. Congratulations. Then after you got yourself here.
You quit talking to God because you fixed now, so
you ain't asking him to help you find the man.
(04:42):
You went out there to find one yourself. The Bible
says when a man find it the wife, he finded
the good thing. So now while you out there husband hunting,
good luck. That ain't what you do. That ain't your
job finding a husband? Lord him good luck lady. Anyway,
(05:02):
So you decided to dating app, and you've matched up
with a guy that listened to this, that looks great
on paper, but has some issue with his finances. Okay,
so what paper were talking about? He looked good on
the dating app paper, but on the credit app. We
(05:25):
ain't gonna be able to rent this apartment. He ain't
gonna ever get to a car, so we ain't gonna
have nowhere to live and we can't drive off. No.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Well, well let's see.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Why am I sitting here talking to him?
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Now?
Speaker 4 (05:43):
You say I don't mind meeting the man halfway with
the bills. See right there, stop all that. If you're
gonna have high expectations have him. Now, I'm not saying
you ain't supposed to chip in, because that's what the
marriage is. It's chipping in, So I applaud you with
your willingness to do that. But you want to meet
him halfway with the bills, But I'd have to pay
(06:06):
our bills and his child support.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Really that don't sound like fun to me anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
But if I got seised with this guy, you'd have
to pay the bills that. I can't fought a man
for having baggage. But I also don't have to take
a fixer upper. No, you don't. But when I come back,
I will get into this letter with you. And you said,
I just don't think God will put me through that again.
But see you didn't ask God about this man, though,
digit you picked him on your own.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response
coming up at twenty three.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Minutes after the hour.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
The Today's Strawberry Letter subject is low vibrational loving.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
We'll get back into it right after this.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Come on, Steve,
let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject low vibration.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
This woman's divorce, got on the dating scene, went to counseling,
got herself fixed up. She says, she's here. No baggage
from an ex husband, and so she started dating. Met
a great guy that looked good on paper, but his
finances was raggedy. So the paper she was looking at
was the online dating app. Who gonna put some incriminating
(07:21):
information on a dating app? Nobody? Everybody looked good on
dating app. Good looking guy, sharp, young, in shape, just
like you like it. Yeah, but y'all got some issues
with the finances. Now, you don't mind meeting the man halfway?
I could applaud you for that, But if I got
serious about this guy to have to pay our bills
(07:42):
and his child support. Oh, so you got to take
care of men. So you got to pay our bills,
which means your bills, his bill and his child support.
How this a good ass deal? Who signs up for this?
But see, you went out husband hunting, and this is
what happened when you go husband hunting once again. Like
I said before, I know y'all think scriptures is old
(08:04):
fashioned and stuff, but just stuff been around for a
long time and it's still hold true. The Bible says
when a man find that the wife, he find that
the good thing. It don't say when a woman go
out to find a husband, she can find a good thing.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
You are. Not hunters is not what you do.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Now, it's okay to put yourself on these apps, it's
okay to date, and it's okay to show them that
you're available. But if you're out there hunting for one,
that ain't what you do. You're uncomfortable hunting. You don't
know how to hunt. Most hunters if you go to
bass pro shopping. My favorite story in the world, when
you go to bass pro shops they have a women's section.
(08:41):
It ain't a big against the men's section. Though most
hunters are men. Some went to women hunt, but most
hunters are men. That are some women who are really
really great hunters, but the vast majority of men sitting
up in them trees, shooting deers and ducks, going bad
hunting and wild bull hunting.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Mostly men. Okay, so here we go.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Now, I don't think God would put me through that
again because you don't want to have a fixer upper.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
But you picked this guy, not God.
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Remember you didn't go to God for this. You was
going to God to get over your husband. Then after
that you got healed, you went out there and start
making decisions on your own. So now you want to
know why God would send you through this, and what's
up with all this low vibrational love in this new general.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm thirty four.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
Years old, and it's hard to meet a man in
my age range that's successful and ready to settle down.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Right here, it is hard to find a thirty four
year old man that's successful. That's a true statement.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
They are out there, but all the way successful at
thirty four. I was nowhere near very successful at thirty four,
but I was on my way.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I had a plan.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
You may not want to fix her upper but most
men at this level, from just a few decisions away
from becoming successful, they need a woman.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Most men.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
Now I'm not saying you can't be successful without a woman,
because there's a lot of men in the music business
and the pro athletes and sign the contract and you
can be successful. Hard to be great without a woman,
though most great men in history have had women by
their side. It's just hard to be great without a man.
I ain't got time to explain it to you.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Just take my word for it.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
But now, anyway, thirty four years old, it is hard
to find a man that's successful and ready to settle down,
because just like you all have a biological clock that's ticking,
and around thirty you want to start having kids and
make it all that. We got a financial clock and
we don't really get it to ticket until our late
twenties and thirties, after we'd have messed up all of
our twenties party and hanging out, running around trying to
(10:45):
figure it out. So, yes, it's hard, but they are
out there. What you need to find is a thirty
four year old man that's headed somewhere. He might not
be there, but he's headed somewhere. Then you want to
attach yourself to that. He may not be a fixer upper,
but he needs.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Some fix it, just like you do.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I like that.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Yeah, everybody needs fixing. Like Marjorie is everything that I'm not.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
She's that.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So she helps me be a better version of me
because she's what I'm not and I needed that. We're
seventeen years in now, see, and that's comes from getting somebody.
And when she met me, I was I was successful.
I was broken up pretty bad. They had done a
(11:35):
number on me, but she came along and came in
there and got in the trenches with me and made
it work. I've been on first dates and had to
pay for my meal, and the guys expect me to
pursue him. I prefer a strong minded man that he
don't have to be rich. That's good, but he needs
to have a plan. That's exactly what I said to you. Well,
now you know that. What is you picking these other
(11:56):
men for? You see what I'm saying. You can't know this?
And then overlook this. Now, the dude that needs you
to pay his bills and his child support? What plan
he got? He just told it to you. I need
you to pay these bills and his child's support. You
can't hit yourself to that wagon. I work with a
few married men and my age, and they seem to
be on the right path. So I knew good blinking
(12:17):
black men out that they are. Some women are accepting
of low income, vibrational bare minimum from a man, and
that makes it hard for women with the higher standards.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Know it, don't know it? Don't?
Speaker 4 (12:31):
You just got to stay away from those types of men.
It's easy to find out. I ask some questions anyway,
I want to meet a man that's on my level.
But if I can't, how do I help guide a
man to greatness without belooking him or making him feel inadequate.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's an easy question for me to answer. You know
how you do that.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
You don't belittle him and you don't make him feel inadequate.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Tada all right. Post your comment on today's Strawberry Letter.
Thank you, Steve. It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook,
and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free
iHeartRadio app. Download it today free. Never sounded so good.
Coming up at forty six minutes after the hour at
Sports Talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening Steve
(13:18):
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