January 31, 2019 • 14 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I need some advice, although this may not be your area of expertise. I'm a 27 years and I met my partner on a nationwide Facebook group. Because of the online group, my partner and I have mutual friends across the country. One friend, in particular, is trying my patience by blatantly hitting on my partner in direct messages and leaving racy comments on my partner’s posts. Sometimes my partner’s comments can look a bit flirtatious too. I’m concerned that this friend is going to try to make a move and my partner is very naïve, so this is a big problem...............
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry letta subject your online
friend is overstepping boundaries. Dear Stephen Shirley, I need some advice,
although this may not be your area of expertise. I
am twenty seven years old and I met my partner
on a nationwide Facebook group. They have a lot of
(00:22):
groups on Facebook, just so you'll know, they have traveling
Facebook groups, a lot of groups on Facebook. So but
that I'm just telling you because I didn't even know
what a Facebook group was at first. But anyway, because
of the online group, my partner and I have mutual
friends across the country. One friend in particular is trying
my patients by blatantly hitting on my partner in direct
(00:46):
messages DMS and leaving racy comments on my partner's posts.
Sometimes my partner's comments can look a bit flirtatious too.
I'm concerned that this friend is going to try to
make a move, and my partner is very naive, so
this is a big problem. I have told my partner
how I feel, and I basically gave them both an
(01:07):
ultimatum to stop communicating. But my partner says that I'm
just overreacting, and it's innocent. Our relationship is good, but
in this age of online dating and quick hookups, this
is getting on my last nerve. I do trust my mate,
but I feel like there is too much going on nowadays,
and nobody cares about being faithful in staying in a
(01:29):
monogamous relationship. I don't want to start a lot of drama.
But our relationship was going great until this other person
started being disrespectful. My partner and the friend are planning
to see each other next weekend at a group function,
and there is no way that I'm going to sit
by and let this friend take what's mind? What should
(01:52):
I do? Take what's mine? What should I do? Can
my partner be trusted? I'm worried. Please help. Well, from
the sound of it, you should be worried, because honestly,
this sounds like a relationship with only one person in it,
and that's you. I mean, yeah, you seem to be
the only one concerned about your feelings. You have told
your partner how you feel and what bothers you and
(02:15):
all of that, But he continues to keep in touch
with this guy who keeps with this other partner, who
tries to hit on him. But you say your partner's
responses to the other guy looks like he's flirting back
with him. With this other partner, your partner is not
taking m what what you keep saying him? Well, because
(02:40):
to me, this sounds like it's it's two guys. It
I could be wrong, it could be a girl and
a guy, but it sounds like to me because he
said partner and he's not saying him or him or
her or her. So I'm just saying that, so it
may not be. All right, I'll start I'll start over. No,
I think it's two guys. You were saying, Yeah, I
(03:03):
think it's stud I was just trying to get clear.
Called I'm nix. Yeah you are, but I got to
go right ahead. I think it's your guys. It may
not be, but anyway he's flirting back or the partner
is flirting back with your partner. Your partner is not
(03:26):
taking your feeling seriously. And not only that, your so
called partner is planning to see this other person this weekend.
That's such a red flag to me. That's why if
you guys are in a relationship, is he making plans
to see someone else? That's why I say you're in
this relationship. It sounds like to me on your own,
I think you know, you say you trust him, but
(03:48):
then at the end you you ask, can your partner
be trusted? Is again, is this really your partner? The
only thing trustworthy about this is that he told you
that he was planning, uh to go on this weekend
with him. Now, now you know if you want to
consider that trustworthy, he's because he's still going. So you know,
if you're not going, you don't know what they're going
(04:10):
to do. What should you do? You say, I mean,
I think first you have to understand that you don't
own this guy. You say you're not going this partner.
You say that you're not going to um sit by
and let his friend take what's yours. Well, again, from
his actions, he doesn't seem like or your partner, doesn't
seem like he belongs to you, all right, he's kind
(04:32):
of just out there. You know, he's with you. You
say he's naive, but he's also you know, doing things
with this other partner as well, with this other friend
as well. So I don't think this is a relationship.
You're taking it way more seriously than your partner is Steve. Yes,
(04:54):
you're up, You're up going out there. It says I
need some advice, although this may not be your area
of expertise. It does say uncle, who got clear? Because
this show ain't Now. Let me just start by saying this,
let's just be one hundred y'all my expertise in relationships.
(05:20):
I have found I'm almost effective when I'm discussing what
goes on between all the female and the male. That's
been my specialty. That's what my book was about. I
always my specialty is empowering women. So I think the
(05:41):
opening of this letter is very telling. It says I
need some advice, although this may not be your area
of expertise. Now. I kept waiting on Shirley to say
she somewhere in this letter, but she never said. She
kept saying he, And that's where I started asking, what, Shirley,
what's happening? And did I miss some of his letter?
And Shirley's absolutely right. It's sounds as though these are
two men because of the term my partner was a
(06:05):
lot or of same sex, because I hear that a
lot when same sex relationships are referring to each other
as my partner. So okay, I'll do the best I can.
It's a relationship, Steve. Okay, but you know I have
to be honest because I don't I don't know the parameters.
I don't I don't know if the parameters are the same.
(06:27):
I don't know. I'm ignorant to it, so I don't
know how it works. But I'm just gonna say this
right here. Uh, Dave, somebody is trying your patience by
blatantly hitting on your partner in direct messages and leaving
racy comments on your partner's post. Hey, partner, I think
(06:49):
I think something about pop off and then what I think? Yeah,
if these is all dudes right here, then probably gonna
pop off a lot quicker, you lie. Go, Well, when
we come back, I'm on the commercial break, I'm gonna
go into prayer. Come back with my answer, and hope
(07:10):
I ain't got much time to give it. Today's Strawberry Letter,
And Steve, we want to hear part two of your response,
the subject your online friend is overstepping boundaries. Well, this
twenty seven year old person is in a relationship with
another person. They're in a Facebook group with some other people,
and so since they on this online group. His partner
(07:35):
in them them have um Steve Harvey what spit it out? Uh?
Them people that them, the people that's in the Facebook group,
they have mutual friends, and so one of them is
trying your patience by blatantly hitting on his partner or
(07:56):
the other person's partner because they DM in them and
they leaveing racing comments on my partner's post, and sometimes
my partner's comments can look a big flirtatious too. It
ain't no looking flirtatous. It looked flirtatious because it is flirtatious.
Now I'm concerned that this friend is gonna try to
(08:20):
make a move, and my partner's very naive. So this
is a big problem. Ah, So you deal, partner don't
know nothing. That's what naive is. Ain't help to the game.
Green wet behind the ears, got simulac on their breath,
(08:41):
that's what that means. So now this is a big problem.
You don't told your partner how you feel, and you
don't gave you then gave both of them an ultimatum,
so you do just went So where'd you do this? Hell?
You just went online at the Facebook group and say hey,
you ain't you keep on him, keep on him. That's
(09:09):
what he said. You have, yes, So after you gave
him that to stop communicating, your partner came and told
you that you're just overreacting, that this is innocent. Now,
then you say, y'all's relationship is good, but in this
(09:34):
age of online dating and quick hook ups, this is
getting on my last nerve. Then you come back and
you say, I do trust my mate. Okay, there, what's
the letter? Right? You're confusing me, but I feel like
there's too much going on nowadays and nobody cares about
being faithful in staying in monogamous relationships. Okay, then you
(09:56):
don't trust him, Then maybe y'all's relationship ain't good. You
said it was, but it ain't. You asked. You gave
both of them an ultimatum. Ain't nobody stop. Your partner
told you you're overreacting. I don't want to start a
lot of drama. Drama to see that ain't win? All right,
(10:19):
let me just keep going. But our relationship was going
great until this other person started being disrespectful. My partner
and the friend are planning to see each other next
weekend at a group function. Damn well, they just they
just in your face. Wood it your partner and and
this online friend Finn to see each other next week.
(10:41):
It did function, but there's no way I'm gonna sit
back and let this friend take what's mine? What should
I do? Whether it sounds like it's gonna be asked
with what sound? It sounds like I'm gonna be its
group about to take a whole new function. Dude, you've
(11:03):
fend to go. You fen to go the show and
tell this ain't hide and see just hide and go
get it. Yes, don't stop, get it, get it. Come on, y'all,
let's get with it. It's the monkey show. The monkeys
feeling get up in the here. You know how I
feel about monkeys? Man, Okay, trying to sit down and
(11:31):
let this free and take course? Man? What should I do?
You know what you gotta do? Dog? When you get
to the event. You got some star swinging? What soon
as he walks in the door, roll your sleeves. Turn
that corner like you on Jerry Spring taking their rings off.
(11:53):
Get your rings out the way. If you got shoes
on with it too high here, get them off. Come
around that corner, bath for it and win me only
who whoop? It not. What you're gonna do is not
just like on spring on your partner gonna try to
break y'all up. Okay, I showed which I could take it.
(12:17):
I don't know where the group function gonna be, but
I can get a camera crew over there. If you
just tell me when it is somebody pushing up on
my girl, I wouldn't told him not to push up
on my girl. Y'all say this just relationship, right? Yeah, yeah,
(12:42):
it's a fight. Now, you pressing up on mine, I
wouldn't ask you not to, and you keep on. So
when I see you, what I'm supposed to do press press, Well,
I guess you are. I'm just imagining you don't have
a discussion if you put it that what discussion I
(13:05):
told y'all. I told you at top of this damn letter.
I didn't like it, and I want to stop. You're
talking about you being innocent and I'm overreacting, and I
ask you all that. Yeah. Now, y'all are planning to
see each other at the group function. His partners are
doing the most or yeah, yeah, busy, yeah, this function.
(13:25):
I'm coming in in flat. I'm not wearing this here.
I'm coming in with flats. I got some doche slippers.
I'm gonna just turn this corner and just it is
what it is, all right, Steve, we gotta get out
(13:49):
of here. You can email us or instagram us your
thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f M.
So you at the functions, Steve right there. So you're
at the functions, You're listening to the Day Harvey Morning Show,
Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry letta subject your online
friend is overstepping boundaries. Dear Stephen Shirley, I need some advice,
although this may not be your area of expertise. I
am twenty seven years old and I met my partner
on a nationwide Facebook group. They have a lot of
(00:22):
groups on Facebook, just so you'll know, they have traveling
Facebook groups, a lot of groups on Facebook. So but
that I'm just telling you because I didn't even know
what a Facebook group was at first. But anyway, because
of the online group, my partner and I have mutual
friends across the country. One friend in particular is trying
my patients by blatantly hitting on my partner in direct
(00:46):
messages DMS and leaving racy comments on my partner's posts.
Sometimes my partner's comments can look a bit flirtatious too.
I'm concerned that this friend is going to try to
make a move, and my partner is very naive, so
this is a big problem. I have told my partner
how I feel, and I basically gave them both an
(01:07):
ultimatum to stop communicating. But my partner says that I'm
just overreacting, and it's innocent. Our relationship is good, but
in this age of online dating and quick hookups, this
is getting on my last nerve. I do trust my mate,
but I feel like there is too much going on nowadays,
and nobody cares about being faithful in staying in a
(01:29):
monogamous relationship. I don't want to start a lot of drama.
But our relationship was going great until this other person
started being disrespectful. My partner and the friend are planning
to see each other next weekend at a group function,
and there is no way that I'm going to sit
by and let this friend take what's mind? What should
(01:52):
I do? Take what's mine? What should I do? Can
my partner be trusted? I'm worried. Please help. Well, from
the sound of it, you should be worried, because honestly,
this sounds like a relationship with only one person in it,
and that's you. I mean, yeah, you seem to be
the only one concerned about your feelings. You have told
your partner how you feel and what bothers you and
(02:15):
all of that, But he continues to keep in touch
with this guy who keeps with this other partner, who
tries to hit on him. But you say your partner's
responses to the other guy looks like he's flirting back
with him. With this other partner, your partner is not
taking m what what you keep saying him? Well, because
(02:40):
to me, this sounds like it's it's two guys. It
I could be wrong, it could be a girl and
a guy, but it sounds like to me because he
said partner and he's not saying him or him or
her or her. So I'm just saying that, so it
may not be. All right, I'll start I'll start over. No,
I think it's two guys. You were saying, Yeah, I
(03:03):
think it's stud I was just trying to get clear.
Called I'm nix. Yeah you are, but I got to
go right ahead. I think it's your guys. It may
not be, but anyway he's flirting back or the partner
is flirting back with your partner. Your partner is not
(03:26):
taking your feeling seriously. And not only that, your so
called partner is planning to see this other person this weekend.
That's such a red flag to me. That's why if
you guys are in a relationship, is he making plans
to see someone else? That's why I say you're in
this relationship. It sounds like to me on your own,
I think you know, you say you trust him, but
(03:48):
then at the end you you ask, can your partner
be trusted? Is again, is this really your partner? The
only thing trustworthy about this is that he told you
that he was planning, uh to go on this weekend
with him. Now, now you know if you want to
consider that trustworthy, he's because he's still going. So you know,
if you're not going, you don't know what they're going
(04:10):
to do. What should you do? You say, I mean,
I think first you have to understand that you don't
own this guy. You say you're not going this partner.
You say that you're not going to um sit by
and let his friend take what's yours. Well, again, from
his actions, he doesn't seem like or your partner, doesn't
seem like he belongs to you, all right, he's kind
(04:32):
of just out there. You know, he's with you. You
say he's naive, but he's also you know, doing things
with this other partner as well, with this other friend
as well. So I don't think this is a relationship.
You're taking it way more seriously than your partner is Steve. Yes,
(04:54):
you're up, You're up going out there. It says I
need some advice, although this may not be your area
of expertise. It does say uncle, who got clear? Because
this show ain't Now. Let me just start by saying this,
let's just be one hundred y'all my expertise in relationships.
(05:20):
I have found I'm almost effective when I'm discussing what
goes on between all the female and the male. That's
been my specialty. That's what my book was about. I
always my specialty is empowering women. So I think the
(05:41):
opening of this letter is very telling. It says I
need some advice, although this may not be your area
of expertise. Now. I kept waiting on Shirley to say
she somewhere in this letter, but she never said. She
kept saying he, And that's where I started asking, what, Shirley,
what's happening? And did I miss some of his letter?
And Shirley's absolutely right. It's sounds as though these are
two men because of the term my partner was a
(06:05):
lot or of same sex, because I hear that a
lot when same sex relationships are referring to each other
as my partner. So okay, I'll do the best I can.
It's a relationship, Steve. Okay, but you know I have
to be honest because I don't I don't know the parameters.
I don't I don't know if the parameters are the same.
(06:27):
I don't know. I'm ignorant to it, so I don't
know how it works. But I'm just gonna say this
right here. Uh, Dave, somebody is trying your patience by
blatantly hitting on your partner in direct messages and leaving
racy comments on your partner's post. Hey, partner, I think
(06:49):
I think something about pop off and then what I think? Yeah,
if these is all dudes right here, then probably gonna
pop off a lot quicker, you lie. Go, Well, when
we come back, I'm on the commercial break, I'm gonna
go into prayer. Come back with my answer, and hope
(07:10):
I ain't got much time to give it. Today's Strawberry Letter,
And Steve, we want to hear part two of your response,
the subject your online friend is overstepping boundaries. Well, this
twenty seven year old person is in a relationship with
another person. They're in a Facebook group with some other people,
and so since they on this online group. His partner
(07:35):
in them them have um Steve Harvey what spit it out? Uh?
Them people that them, the people that's in the Facebook group,
they have mutual friends, and so one of them is
trying your patience by blatantly hitting on his partner or
(07:56):
the other person's partner because they DM in them and
they leaveing racing comments on my partner's post, and sometimes
my partner's comments can look a big flirtatious too. It
ain't no looking flirtatous. It looked flirtatious because it is flirtatious.
Now I'm concerned that this friend is gonna try to
(08:20):
make a move, and my partner's very naive. So this
is a big problem. Ah, So you deal, partner don't
know nothing. That's what naive is. Ain't help to the game.
Green wet behind the ears, got simulac on their breath,
(08:41):
that's what that means. So now this is a big problem.
You don't told your partner how you feel, and you
don't gave you then gave both of them an ultimatum,
so you do just went So where'd you do this? Hell?
You just went online at the Facebook group and say hey,
you ain't you keep on him, keep on him. That's
(09:09):
what he said. You have, yes, So after you gave
him that to stop communicating, your partner came and told
you that you're just overreacting, that this is innocent. Now,
then you say, y'all's relationship is good, but in this
(09:34):
age of online dating and quick hook ups, this is
getting on my last nerve. Then you come back and
you say, I do trust my mate. Okay, there, what's
the letter? Right? You're confusing me, but I feel like
there's too much going on nowadays and nobody cares about
being faithful in staying in monogamous relationships. Okay, then you
(09:56):
don't trust him, Then maybe y'all's relationship ain't good. You
said it was, but it ain't. You asked. You gave
both of them an ultimatum. Ain't nobody stop. Your partner
told you you're overreacting. I don't want to start a
lot of drama. Drama to see that ain't win? All right,
(10:19):
let me just keep going. But our relationship was going
great until this other person started being disrespectful. My partner
and the friend are planning to see each other next
weekend at a group function. Damn well, they just they
just in your face. Wood it your partner and and
this online friend Finn to see each other next week.
(10:41):
It did function, but there's no way I'm gonna sit
back and let this friend take what's mine? What should
I do? Whether it sounds like it's gonna be asked
with what sound? It sounds like I'm gonna be its
group about to take a whole new function. Dude, you've
(11:03):
fend to go. You fen to go the show and
tell this ain't hide and see just hide and go
get it. Yes, don't stop, get it, get it. Come on, y'all,
let's get with it. It's the monkey show. The monkeys
feeling get up in the here. You know how I
feel about monkeys? Man, Okay, trying to sit down and
(11:31):
let this free and take course? Man? What should I do?
You know what you gotta do? Dog? When you get
to the event. You got some star swinging? What soon
as he walks in the door, roll your sleeves. Turn
that corner like you on Jerry Spring taking their rings off.
(11:53):
Get your rings out the way. If you got shoes
on with it too high here, get them off. Come
around that corner, bath for it and win me only
who whoop? It not. What you're gonna do is not
just like on spring on your partner gonna try to
break y'all up. Okay, I showed which I could take it.
(12:17):
I don't know where the group function gonna be, but
I can get a camera crew over there. If you
just tell me when it is somebody pushing up on
my girl, I wouldn't told him not to push up
on my girl. Y'all say this just relationship, right? Yeah, yeah,
(12:42):
it's a fight. Now, you pressing up on mine, I
wouldn't ask you not to, and you keep on. So
when I see you, what I'm supposed to do press press, Well,
I guess you are. I'm just imagining you don't have
a discussion if you put it that what discussion I
(13:05):
told y'all. I told you at top of this damn letter.
I didn't like it, and I want to stop. You're
talking about you being innocent and I'm overreacting, and I
ask you all that. Yeah. Now, y'all are planning to
see each other at the group function. His partners are
doing the most or yeah, yeah, busy, yeah, this function.
(13:25):
I'm coming in in flat. I'm not wearing this here.
I'm coming in with flats. I got some doche slippers.
I'm gonna just turn this corner and just it is
what it is, all right, Steve, we gotta get out
(13:49):
of here. You can email us or instagram us your
thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey f M.
So you at the functions, Steve right there. So you're
at the functions, You're listening to the Day Harvey Morning Show,
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