#120 Coronavirus Can't Stop Us!

#120: The boys are self isolating, social distancing, quarantining, whatever you want to call it...and doing their first ever episode from their respective homes- Skeery in his apartment and Brody in his laundry basement; Skeery wants to start bike riding again; with germs and cleanliness being top of everyones minds, Brody has a problem with an unsanitary pharmacist

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Starduf dot up start up, Brooklyn Boys start Up Brooklyn
bukst dot uf dot up. They making noise data dot
dot dot up. Episode one. We made it. It's the
Brooken Boys podcast. I can't believe this brodys. I'm sitting

(00:23):
in my basement about five ft away from my washer
and dryer, which are not running right now otherwise you
hear them. And I'm sitting in my apartment and I
got a beautiful sunny day and my air conditioners broken.
I just realized it. And it's seventy degrees Oh perfect. Yeah,
you don't march. You don't realize your recondition is not
working until such time as it gets hot out. Yeah,

(00:44):
it did that thing where it did that thing where
you know, the first gust of air came on and
it blew out all the air that's been sitting in
there for six months, that musty, disgusting air, and then
it cleared up, but it never went cold. So now
I have to call the people at the front desk.
It looks like I have a project this weekend. Well,
what takes my air condition Not like you're stuck in
your house or anything like that that you need air

(01:04):
conditioning yeah. I mean, I have so much to do
this weekend. Well, listen, for those people who are listening
to this a year later after we recorded it, we
are in lockdown. We're in the middle of a week
one of quarantine for the coronavirus. So this is a
special coronavirus edition of the Brooklyn Boys. Um yeah, um.
It feels kind of weird. We've never First of all,

(01:25):
we've never done our podcast outside the studio. We've always
been there, We've never done it from our houses. Now,
you know, I have another podcast, which I'll plug right here. Sure,
Speaking Volumes podcast with Share and Scary. You might have
heard it, maybe not, and that's okay if you have it,
but maybe you'll discover it now. I like that. I
like that Share gets topp building. There's very nice. Well,

(01:46):
she's she's a woman. Women always win, right. I'm just
a lowly guy, you know, and all I do is
man splain things anyway on that podcast. That's so what
you know, And and we regularly do our podcast. She
does it from her bedroom and I do it from
this very microphone at my apartment. So I'm feeling at
home right now. It's just a little bizarre that we're
doing an episode of the Brooklyn Boys this way. Yeah,

(02:08):
it is kind of weird. I mean I never had
a basement when I lived in Brooklyn, so I guess, Uh,
I'm moving up or down in the world. I guess
we look at it now, how can you be David
Brody in your house with your wife and kids. Uh, well,
my wife and uh one of my kids are at
the Jersey Shore right now. Uh they're walking on a

(02:29):
boardwalk to get some fresh air because there's nobody there.
They just sent me a picture there's the beaches are empty,
the boardwalk is empty, so they're not They're keeping us
so their social distancing from everyone, So that's good. Um.
One of my kids is two floors up, uh, doing homework.
So and the rest of the rest of my family
is really so when you get into your yelling mode

(02:52):
where you start ranting, your kids not gonna come running
down the stairs like what's the matter, what's going on? Dad? No,
my family is well aware of what this podcast like.
And I told him I'll be down here, so I said, no,
laundry gets done while I'm down here. Don't expect to
use the basement. So that everybody knows that you know
what I do and listen. They live with me long enough.
You think I only rant on this podcast. I ranted

(03:14):
home too, so it's nothing new. Now, could you take
us on a quick tour of your basement, like you know,
like who is it? Is it Mark Marin or Joe
Rogan who records in a garage? I think mac Mark
Marin does. I don't know. Both of them are more
successful than we are, so I don't know. Yeah, but
they I mean, I think it's Mark Marin who started
his podcasting like a tool shed or something and it's
very wildly popular. And then like I do a podcast

(03:34):
with a tool shed, so it works out right. Oh,
don't talk about Jamie like that from Walker Talkers. And
by the way, speaking of which, yes, I saw that
slick move if you you you posted an episode of
Walkers and Talkers to the Brooklyn Boys channel and it
was only up briefly, only overnight yep. And then and
then I noticed that you you waited for a long

(03:58):
time to take it down, and people were like texting
you on Twitter, Hey, Brodie, you put up an episode
of Walkers on the Brooklyn Boys channel. I'm beginning to
think that you did that on purpose? You're like, oops, well,
i'll tell you what it was. Partially on purpose and
partially a mistake, and not in that order. Um. So
I ended up recording late late last night after my

(04:20):
family was upstairs in the basement, and Jamie's not on
the podcast, so I had to do it alone, do
the editing, put into music after the fact, and I
was half you know, exhausted from the morning show, and
so I uploaded it on the software we have as
a website. You have to click on the podcast you
want to upload it to. And I was thinking about

(04:41):
it's Thursday, and we normally do Brooklyn Boys, and I
accidentally went into the Brooklyn Boys folder and I uploaded
it and I labeled it, I created the you know,
the description of the podcast, and I hit upload and
I and I published it without thinking. And then when
I saw it finished, I went, oh, it's on the
I was so exhausted I didn't have time to do
it again. You know, I again, you know what, eleven
twelve o'clock at night, most people won't see it. I'm

(05:04):
getting up for the morning show at five am, and
I'll fix it in the morning. Hundred people listen to
the Walkers and Talkers Podcast, episode episode one seventy two
between the time I went to bed and woke up.
So for all of you guys who listened by mistake,
I apologize for the fans. Yeah, for those of you

(05:24):
who kept going and listen to it, whether you're Walking
Dead fans or not, I appreciate it. Um. It's normally
much funnier when my co host Jamie is on UM
because she says the dopeious things. So you're saying they
should give you a second shot. That's because this was
not your best example of Walkers. And the beauty of
Jamie if you haven't heard her on the Walkers and
Talkers podcast is everything she says without realizing it is

(05:48):
a sexual innuendo. And of course I don't let any
of that slip by. So if you listen, whether you
like Walking Dead or not, and you should, it's a
great show. We like to talk about. We like to
talk about what we talk about as snappy banter. It's
this stuff we talked about between the Walking Dead stuff
that we life and sex and everything she says that
don't make it, that doesn't make any sense because it's sexual.

(06:09):
That's the snappy banter. I think you owe us, by
the way, for a commercial for the because you're doing
a commercial for Walking Dead right here on, I'm doing
a commercial for Jamie and and our snappy banter on
the Walkers and Doctor's podcast. That's all everybody knows who
listens hashtag snappy banter, which is fine. Yeah, and you
know what, I might have to tune in. I didn't

(06:31):
realize that. You know, I'm not a Walking Dead band,
but I am a fan of the talking Jamie. I
would say on a on a normal episode, the first
five or six minutes or us just uh talking, and
then usually she says something ridiculous uh, and then I go,
what did you What did you just say? And she says,
what are you talking about? And then I have to

(06:51):
point out why she just said something that sounded very sexual,
and then she lives up to it and then just
goes along with it because she has no shame and
no filter and she's the best to be that she's
over sexed. Well see that's the thing, um, which by
the way, he means really that I used the right
word overset. I would say she's a very sexual, open

(07:12):
creature who hasn't dated in a while. So, however, you
want to explain that is she's over sex or under
so maybe these these are subliminal things that she doesn't
even realize she's saying, but her subconscious mind is coming
out with these, uh you know, these innuendoes or well
he's on words right well, and we make a lot
of innurendo jokes on the podcast. Tune into the Walking

(07:34):
Dead podcast Walkers and See. You knew that it would
be a topic of conversation here on the Brooklyn Boys,
but you quote accidentally posting the Talking Dead Walkers and
Talkers pot. I would like to say it was a
brilliant move, but I genuinely think you, I genuinely didn't
do it on purpose. I think you slipped it in.
See there you go. Now you sound like Jamie I
did that on purpose. I kind of I left it.

(07:57):
That was good. Don't leave it that I gave you.
I gave you a softball, like an underhanded pitch. You
have to take down the middle. You have two of them.
I don't want either one of them speaking up. By
the way, I want to say that is the one
thing I'm missing is baseball. I am and I know
the opening day was supposed to is going to was
supposed to happen this coming Thursday, March for the New
York Mets, the home opener, And um, that is the

(08:20):
one thing that I was would have been looking forward
to me. I would have been really you know, watching
all the spring training games by now on TV and
really getting into it. And if there's one thing that
I'm that that's bothering me is the fact that there's
none of that because because to me, that is everything. Well,
that that that screams spring every year the second the
Super Bowl is over, I tweeted its baseball season because

(08:42):
that's it for me and um and and for my mom.
Mom and Brody loves her baseball. So we did get
to watch a couple of spring training games together. Um
and that then that lights up her her year when
baseball starts, because she's always got the radio of the
TV and it's it's a companion for her. Uh. And
so that's unfortunate. You and I have a ritual to
go to the the opening day, which my mom and I

(09:03):
used to have, but it's too much of a schlept
for her, as she said, as she says, yeah, now
they're talking about June July, half a season. What are
they even how are they going to salvage this? I
don't know. And not to get too sports e technical,
but a lot of times players that are going to
be free agents, Um, around June or July, teams start
trading those players that are gonna be free agents so

(09:26):
that teams can make a playoff run and pick up
that the last three months of a player's salary. Well,
that's not gonna happen. If the season starts and then
you don't even know who's in the playoffs, They're gonna
have to move the trading deadline. They're gonna have to
make a lot of changes. Anyway, I was hoping that
they would go through December this year. Well you know
what they could do, uh and you heard it here.

(09:46):
First is figure out who's in a pennant race by September,
and then, unfortunate for the home fans, but then reschedule
the games to only play in warm weather areas and
indoor stadiums. So it would be unfortun in it for
the Mets, let's say in New York or the Yankees,
but they would have to go to a dome stadium

(10:06):
at least play the games. So if you're a fan,
do you want to sit in November cold weather where
the players can't grip the baseball, or at least have
your team in the playoffs if they're playing in a
dome and let's say in in Toronto or Montreal or something.
Is this just a Brody Bright idea or is this
something that's been it was here snappy banter about Well,
I would if has this been bantied about? If you

(10:29):
back up the podcast, you would have heard me say
you're hearing it here first, folks, No, that's no, that
doesn't that No, no, no, that doesn't necessarily mean that
you it's an original idea. I don't. Maybe you must
have heard some kind of sports talk show and then
you're just not gurgitating your idea. If you've stolen from Brody,
you've stolen twice. See that's a joke for the Elvis

(10:50):
Strand show. I don't. I don't tend to use other
people's material or ideas without giving them credit, because I
know how important it is to have ideas and how
valuable they are. This is just your This is just
as a as a baseball fan looking for ways to
make the season go longer. Great idea. I think narrowing
it down to the top. Let's say fifteen teams, Like

(11:10):
once you're out of it. And again, if you start
in June, how out of it could you be? Even
if you're terrible, you're only gonna be like seven games back.
But but once you once it's whittled down, I think, Dave,
we need to just figure out regionally where teams are
going to play indoors. Who's the commission Who's who's in
charge of the league. Well, the Baseball Commissioner, yes, would

(11:31):
have to Can we get in touch with him? I'll
make some calls. Well, at least get get your idea hurt. Yeah,
I start playing for this anyway. So Rob Manford, by
the way, if you want to google him, and not
Joe tore I. Joe Torre was was a vice president

(11:51):
of Baseball Operations, And no he's not a commissioner. Alright, Well, um,
it's a beautiful sunny day outside right now. I cannot
believe that it's March in the Northeast and it's like
seventy three degrees right now out here? Doing it? Really?
I know? I know they showed a live shot on
the news um. By the way, watching the news is
like watching a sci fi picture, like a movie, and

(12:14):
you're like watching, going wow, okay, and the President's gonna
talk and they're gonna give death counts and and virus information,
and you feel like you're watching a sci fi movie.
But it's the news, like it doesn't seem real, you know.
And I'm watching it and they're putting up sickness counts
and patience and death and and all over the globe
and you're like, wow, this is like this is a

(12:34):
cool movie. It's it's terrifying here in and again here
in New York. You get the president speaking, and then
an hour later the governor comes on with his speech,
and an hour after that the mayor does his and
then oh, by the way, we're in the Tristate area,
so the government New Jersey has to do an hour.
So you got four hours in a row of just
NonStop madness of just talking about coronavirus. And I have

(12:58):
to tell you, yesterday I showed the TV off. Today
I went back to my old ways. I'm watching it
now and I'm like, why am I watching this now?
Stop it iching brody and I have I have these
the city bikes. A rack of city bikes literally that
we're installed. Those are the paper pay per minute bikes
that we haven't around Manhattan. Right, They're not into they're

(13:20):
not Iraq bikes. They're a rack of bikes, a rack
of bikes. Ye, that's what it sounded like. You're like,
I have a rack bikes outside there, bag bikes from Bagdad. No,
but you know, and um, nobody's riding them. Nobody's riding them.
And I mean, listen, I'll go out there with some

(13:42):
lysol wipes, wipe down a seat, wipe down, not doing
not doing that. No, but first of all, they're shitting out.
They're shitting out there, not stop. I mean, well you wouldn't.
You wouldn't because because because the virus stays on hard
services are up to three days now. They're saying, so, uh,
if you can tell me no one's been on the
bike for four days, I'll consider it more importantly. Scary,

(14:02):
you should have a bike. I don't know how you
don't own a bicycle. Okay, let me tell you about
Scary Jones owning a bike in his adult days. When
I was a kid, I had my I started out
with a huffy. You have a huffy. Yeah I had,
I had. It doesn't matter what I had. I didn't
have a hun And then and then followed that by
my dirt bike, the mongoose. The mongoose was the bike.

(14:25):
And every kid that had the blue tires and the
blue handlebars and the blue it was tricked out for
a bike. And how many times did you ride it? No? No, no,
all the time as a kid. Hold on, I'm getting there.
He didn't. You didn't use the pegs. You didn't. Okay, okay,
little known fact. I'll tell you how I how I

(14:47):
chipped my two front teeth or there's a little there's
a there's an eternal little chip between my two front teeth.
And that is because I had my buddy, My buddy
sal Torto was right my bike. He and I was
on my own pegs. I was on the pegs, and
then I decided to I jumped off the bike. I

(15:10):
jumped off, and then I didn't realize what forward momentum
and gravity due to one. A body in motion tends
to stay in motion. That's the law of inertia. I
didn't understand that, didn't get to that in my classes yet.
So as soon as I jumped off the bike. My
body went forward and I hit the ground and my
two front teeth boom hit the concorde like that, and

(15:32):
then I never got them fixed because I never I mean,
why wouldn't you close your mouth when you were falling?
I don't know. But anyway, the point I have a question.
I have this picture of you now riding on the
back of the bike like a girl on a motorcycle.
Were your hands were your hands strapped across his engines?
Were you're holding his his rib cage? I was holding
his shoulders? Oh nice, I'm standing on the pegs holding

(15:55):
his shoulders. I called yourself. I don't know. I called
you out on this and I you said, at a
mongoose with pegs, And I said pegs? We were you
popping wheelies? Were you doing tricks like to try to
like call you out? You're like you defended yourself by
saying no. I wrote on the back while some other
guy rode my bike. That was that one time? Time
to illustrate the point that I had pegs on my

(16:17):
bike the only time. The pegs on my bike are
the reason why my two front teeth are chipped. Anyway, Okay,
but the pegs. The pegs aren't there, so you can
ride bitch on the back of a bike while your
friend rides the bike. That's not what the pegs are for. That.
That's like going to a gym and using the weights
as paper weights. Then what's the pegs for. I'm gonna

(16:37):
you know, do you wanna bench press? Scary? No, I'm
gonna take these weights and hold the door open with them.
The pegs is you can you can. You can stand
on them, and you can do wheelies and stuff you
can do you can with them. Yeah, but I wasn't
that guy. I wasn't the BMX kid. Did you have it?
I was? They just have a basket on the front.
Like we listened, some of us didn't have bikes, so

(16:59):
we we gave each other lifts so they would jump
on the pegs and we would ride that. We would,
we would, that's what we used. Pegs. You were your
own sissy bar. And by the way, google that it's
not an offensive term. What is a sissy bar? Were
you don't? Didn't we talk about this on the Big Show?
I know we did, Yeah, like two years ago. So
it's the big um upside down you or end shaped

(17:21):
um handle on the back of the bike so that
you can run, run with the bike. You can do
things with it. You can put you can put your
sister on the like you used to call it that
you could put you, like your your sibling on the
back of the seat, like if you had a banana seat,
like a long seat, and they could a girlfriend. They
your girlfriend, not on a little bike. I guess if

(17:41):
you had a little girlfriend at at seven or eight,
when you could lean back against it, or like your
dad or your mom could hold onto it and run
alongside of you. Right. I did not have a sissy
bar on my goddamn mang. No, you were the sissy bar.
You were the sissy bar and standing up on the pegs. Oh,
come on, man, anyway, I we used to go to
the trails all the time and Dyka Park in Brooklyn.

(18:03):
We used to like get into it. Man, it was great.
We used to go off roading. It was awesome. Until
one day someone stole my bike out of the back shed.
It was locked up for for the winter, and we
put it in the backyard. There was probably a friend
who was riding the bike. You didn't want you on
the back of it anymore. Whatever. It was scary. Have
you ever been on a motorcycle? Oh? Man, this one time,

(18:24):
my friend Tony was on a motorcycle and I was
in a little red wagon and he pulled me. See
that doesn't count. That's basically what you just told me. Oh,
I had a mongoose and what do you do with it? Scary?
I wrote on the pegs while Mike it was just
it was that one time. Okay, okay, okay, but okay,
but but anyway, okay, the hold on, We're getting to
evolution of scary and bicycles, so I can't wait. Once

(18:47):
that got stolen, I went to a tent speed. Now,
the tent speed back in the day, how did how
was your friend Tony like the tent speed was? He? Okay,
ten speed was it was before those It was before
the bikes got modern. So I got one of these
freaking bike that was like, you know, like the three
Company bike. You know when Jack Tripper in the beginnings
riding on the sand that he sees a hot girl
and he turns his head and then he falls into

(19:07):
sand and then he looked up with the camera. That's reference.
That's your reference to tent speed bikes. He was riding
one of that. He was seventy eight television show My
Bike My Tent Speed was like from that, I didn't
get anything fucking new. I got used ship it was.
It was the one with the unit. It was one
with the like the the rams, the ram horn, the

(19:30):
ram horn handlebars. Yeah, I still have those, man. I
like the Bete for racing. You can get down lower. Well,
it was like, okay, so that was that bike, and
then that bike a cool stories. There were no cool
school stories because when I moved to Jersey City and
I never fucking used the dance thing. I used it
three times and then I had to take the front

(19:52):
wheel off to even store it in my closet. When
I got to my apartment and it's set there and
it collected dust. I never used again. Once I moved
from Brooklyn to Jersey City, I never rode my bike
because no one at that point, no one was into them.
And okay, are you telling me you couldn't get your
friend Tony to come over and ride it while you
sat on the back of my ten speed? Yeah, get

(20:14):
some pegs. Get some pegs for hey, Tony, come over,
old time's sake. I ride on the back of your bike.
Listen anyway, now with uh, you know, with with with
you know, self distancing and what we're going through right now,
this this period of time dealing with this pandemic. I
personally I want to get back into bike riding. So

(20:36):
all I was saying was we're doing this podcast. Well
I could be outside renting a city bike and riding
around Liberty State Park and seeing views of Ellis Island
and the Statue of Liberty up in my face. Maybe
we can get a slice to volunteer to come to
your house and pedal for you, like Tony did. No,
here's the problem. His name was Tony, right, it was

(20:56):
Sal Sal Sal What was the last name. That's why
I got Tony from all Right, change all those Tonies,
two sALS, huge difference. Go ahead, So the same guy,
you know. But but let's face it, at this point
of time, you would want to ride with someone like
you used to back in the day. So done wants
No one wants to ride with me. All my friends,

(21:18):
Oh my god, corona coughing is not Coughing is not
one of the first symptoms. Okay, thank god. Anyway, so, so, um,
you know, think of my friends now, the cast of
characters that live near me in Hoboken, doddo. I got Dave.
You know, we've talked about Dave on the pot, sex
about sex on the way to Yeah, Davi, and we

(21:39):
we've talked about Will, who used to intern back in
the day here for us, I apologize. Coughing usually dry
is common first side effect. First, Yeah, sneezing is not.
Sneezing is not typically a symptom of COVID nineteen. Okay, perfect,
all right, so I still may have it. Great, yeah,
and then and then and then you got Falco. Falco's

(21:59):
are hired cop. And you want to talk about by
the way, that his cop name like his movie cop name. No,
that's his last name, of the Falco. His name is
Anthony Anthony Falco. So there's the Tony. I was thinking,
he's the Tony you were talking about Tony number two Falco.
So Falco. You you pictured me with Falco, Dave or
Will riding around the streets or riding around the park.

(22:22):
Will maybe maybe maybe Will maybe Will. But Will's a
golfer that sucks. I can't stand. I got nothing in
common with golf people. Well, they stand around you got
that what are we doing here? We're going on this
is a tangent. What we do is what we do,
what we None of this was planned. We just sat

(22:44):
down and started recording. We really did, because we don't
have an agenda. All my jokes, all my jokes, and
my material is is the radio station. Oh, some day
you think the slices will get the A material. Yeah,
we'll get some big fanfare music later a gentleman here
comes the A material. Yeah. And we're gonna apologize here

(23:04):
in advance. We don't have any sound effects. We have
nothing for you. Well, we have the we have the
opening and closing music, and I think there's a couple
of the things we might have, but there's some things
we don't have. So um anyway, So so, because our
lives have been taken over by this, UM, I really
haven't had some true to life experiences that usually I
would come to the podcast with and present. Although I

(23:26):
know somehow, some way, Brodie, you had a run in
with some bad customer service person and you made him
feel like well, at some point, oh, I absolutely did.
I don't want to get to that right now, but
remind me we're going to talk about Walgreens that was
we've talked about on the podcast before because as you know,
our company forced us to switch to Walgreens for our pharmaceuticals. Right,

(23:49):
and if you and if you don't know, you gotta listen,
you gotta gotta listen to Speaking of listening, it's just
an observation. Uh, and only the slices that are listening
to this episod so it can explain it. Um, but
the last three episodes of our podcast are down in
listenership a decent amount, and so Scary has explained. You

(24:11):
think it's because of the virus, and I'm thinking because
they're not in their usual routine and not commuting and
not driving. I just think that people's heads are in
other places. I thought if I was a betting man,
you know that people would listen to the podcast more
because they're going stir crazy in their house. So hopefully
that you're listening to this things are going well in

(24:32):
your life and you're sort of gotten some normalcy back. Um,
you know, if you're not someone who listens to podcast
when they're trapped in your house. But anyway, that being said, uh,
if you listen in order, then you know about the
Walgreens issue. But our company. Uh, just to recap in
case you're new to the podcast, Welcome aboard UM. Our
company decided our our HR department to sign a contract

(24:54):
with Walgreens for three years. Where we used to be
able to go to any pharmacy, we now have to
go to Walgreens because they worked at a deal where
it save us money. So let me just say, I
used to pay three dollars and fifty cents for this
one prescription I take, and when I went to Walgreens,

(25:14):
the genius who worked out this deal for us, I
paid thirteen dollars and fifty cents. So I'm not sure
where the savings is, but that isn't my complaint. I
just wanted to update you that the big to do contract,
I ended up paying more for the first thing I
went for, uh, three times as much money for the
thing I was supposed to save money on. And as
a reminder, or if it's the first time you're hearing this,

(25:35):
the guy who signed that deal signed it with Walgreens,
quit our company so I can't yell at him, and
now works for Walgreens. So he's a genius. He's a genius. UM.
We'll get to that in a second, you're Walgreens. I
feel like it's spen the wheel of his it's been
the wheel of bad customer service. Well, get to that.
Why did you have something? No, it's always for you.

(25:57):
It's always it's always like uh, a company like you know,
CVS or Walgreens or some kind of a big box store.
I had a problem with direct TV, also t V
e ups, FedEx. You know the mailing systems. You know
you never had it. You've never heard you with an
Amazon rant. I guess them does the right thing. No,
no, no no, no, I've complained about Amazon, but only to

(26:18):
tell you how they made good good for it? No, right,
didn't know they always have happy endings. Yeah, although you
know you have happy endings. I have to what No, nothing, okay, Jamie.
I thought you were gonna pull a talking Jamie on me. No, no, no,
your podcast partner, yes, uh no. What I was going
to say was, um, I miss Amazon right now because

(26:41):
I'm I'm hesitant to order anything I don't need because
I don't want it. First of all, I don't want
to wait a week, and second of all, I don't
want to back them up anymore than they already are. Yeah,
they're busy with other things. Right, So if I need
a cable of some kind, like a computer cable or something,
I feel like a loader on e Bay and I'll
just wait rather than do like a two day thing,
because it's not gonna be two day anyway. Um. So
I'm trying to I'm trying to hold back on my

(27:02):
frivolous Amazon purchases. Um. I did want to tell you though,
just what I do. I am gonna be wiping my
ask with coffee filters very soon because I wasn't. I
wasn't one of the people who got in on the
toilet paper raid and the store downstairs doesn't have it.
I you know what. I knew it was going on,

(27:23):
and I'm like, these idiots, what's everybody? What's everybody buying
cases of toilet paper? But here's and I'm like, they'll
be restocked in a week or two And here we
are a week or two later and the shells are
still empty. Well here's what happened. Uh, it was a
self fulfilling prophecy. Everyone was buying. So everyone started buying,
you know, right, people seeing monkey see monkey doods. What

(27:45):
you're saying like people seeing people buying like oh I
need that too. Nothing. Nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd,
you know. Yeah, that's why. That's why some restaurants, and
you know, there's some restaurants and some clubs will pay
people to wait online or to eat there so it
looks crowded and you're like, whoa, what's that crowd by
that club? I gotta get in there. And it's all
it's all actors. We've talked about that. How they put

(28:08):
all the you know, the hot models in a club,
ten girls and one guy. Anytime you see ten girls
and one guy at dinner together or in a club
or a bar, it's it's they're paid. They're paid to
be there, and they're drinking from the all night. And
I don't want to get political, but a guy who
ran for president three years ago, it's a known fact
he paid actors to show up to his announcement by

(28:31):
by his escalator. So but you know what, but the
crowd made it look good. So I get it. I
get why you know you might want to do that. Um.
I did have an interesting conversation with someone I was
volunteering at my daughter's school, uh two weeks ago, but
I didn't have a chance to mention on the last podcast. Uh.
So they put me at a volunteer table and I

(28:53):
introduced myself to the three women sitting at the table.
I said, Hi, my name is David. And then the
woman says, Hi, I'm Denise. This Deirdre, and that's Nicole.
So I said, oh, David, Denise, Deirdro Nicole. I said, Nicole,
you're the only one without a D initial in your name.
She was, oh, you can call in that case, I'll
change it. You can call me dick hole. And I said,

(29:15):
and I started laughing, and and so the other women
didn't understand why it was funny. And Nicole looked at
me and she's like, what I said, Maybe we shouldn't
use that name. She's like, why, what's wrong with Nicole?
And so, you know, they didn't get the wait hold on.
They spent the whole time despite the fact that your
laugh made them all analyzed, you know, get it now.

(29:39):
So Denise and Deirdre were older moms, older than I was.
If I had, if I had to guess, maybe by
a little maybe not, I don't know. But Nicole was
She was a college student that was helping out at
the at the school, and so she's the one going,
I don't get it, Nicole. I don't get it. Nicole
is not a word. And I'm like, oh my god,

(30:00):
she keeps saying dick hole and she doesn't realize that. Ye. Yeah,
Well I didn't just leave it there. Uh what was
that delayed by the way, Um, I was trying to well,
I had to phrase what I was saying, so uh no,
I said, so I looked. I went, all right, Dicole,

(30:21):
we'll call you. That not a problem. So I didn't
end up telling her until the end of the day,
like three hours later, because I didn't want to say
it in front of the moms because I thought they
were like, not the type to find it amusing. You
know your audience. That wasn't them. They are not slices
for life. Um, absolutely not. What are you doing? I'm

(30:47):
texting back You're definitely You're definitely. Uh, your mind is
somewhere else right now. I had to see you. I
had it. I had a text back my daughter because
um uh, she's she wants to go for a walk,
and I was like, uh, care for a walk? Why
is that a chore? Dude? This is this is like

(31:09):
it We're all isolating. You want me to take myself
physical distance. You need to, You've got this is your
time to get out of the house and have some
quality time with your kids. Okay, So you want me
to leave the podcast now and go? Oh she wants
to do it now, you're right this second. Oh, she
didn't ask me to go. She's going. I thought I
thought she Oh. I thought she was like saying, oh, hey,

(31:30):
in about a half hour an hour. No, man, the
on demand generation, they gotta have it down, down, down, down,
down down now. So okay, by the way, it is
six o'clock sharp. I think it's time for a quarantine.
E it's happy hour, all right, you know what we'll
be Uh well, we've got more coming up right after this.
You sister, your sister, your daughters still texting you. Uh yeah.

(31:56):
She wants to take the dog, and I don't want
the dog to go that far from the house. So
all right, so it's just her and the dog. Yeah, yep.
We can't pass this stuff back and forth between pets, right, um, no, okay, good,
all right. Just want to make sure I want to
make it is that Mutts. She wants to take Mutts.

(32:16):
She wants to take Drew. Uh, he's not great on
the leash. Okay, Drew on the leash, if you know
what I'm saying, not great on the leash. So now
you have a problems, and now you'm good. We we
came to an agreement. She's great, she's good kids, she
we've worked it out, all right. Good. She's not pissed
at you, cursing at you right now. She may be
cursing at you. She's like, he never has time for me.

(32:40):
Oh my god, doing that damn podcast, yelling into a
microphone for what? Yeah, well you know what it pay,
It pays the bills. Um, we should have her on. No, Okay, great,
I thought that was a good idea. And you know,
oh no, not a great idea. Why not. I love
to me. You've met you've met all like, No, you've

(33:02):
met my kids. That's that's it. Okay, alright, alright, right there. No,
she's busy, she's got we have your next time. We
do this from the house. And you know, there may
be several of these episodes in a row, because we
don't know where this is going. What the problem is.
You bring your mom? Could you bring your mom to
your house or something? Or no, okay, I'm gonna bring
a guest next time. I will or I can't even

(33:23):
go see my mom. She's quarantine. Oh that's right. She
doesn't want to see me unless I'm in the house
for two weeks. And you know, I'm social distancing from
my parents as well. But my brother and my sister. Yeah,
but you're social distancing from your parents by their choice,
not yours. Your parents will come see you. We already
established that, I know, but no, but this week I
wanted to go see them and and you know, kind

(33:44):
of corning them at home. But now I'm like, what if?
What if I'm asymptomatic and I have it? You know,
so you know, so I don't know, let's not have symptoms.
My brother is a newborn, my sister is a newborn basically,
and both of them, I don't want to pass it
along to them. It's just, you know, there's bad situations
all around. Not even seeing my girlfriend it's like four

(34:06):
weeks in a row. Now she's I'm seeing us, so
it's all right. She's fine. Tell you what, though, this
is not good. This is not good because we we
had that, remember we were supposed to do that. Chefs
for Kids Cancer event, and that got that got postponed
a few weeks back. At the end of those dinners,
they give you giant, a giant um jar of cookies,

(34:27):
homemade cookies from different restaurants, made by pastry chefs all
around Manhattan, and and so, because they didn't have the event,
they brought the cookies up to the radio station and
they said, you know what, We've got like nine thousand cookies,
and and they sold them for a good cause. So
we gave money back to Cookies for Kids Cancer by

(34:47):
buying the cookies and then having a fundraiser on the
air to sell those jars of cookies because they were
all going to go to waste because the event never happened.
So I thought I'd be the cool boyfriend said, you
know what, I'm gonna buy fifty cookies. And I and
and I bought fifty freaking cookies. I put it in

(35:07):
a big bag and I said, I'm gonna get a jar,
and I'm gonna next time I see my girlfriend, I'm
gonna give her a jar full of the cookies because
she loved that event the same way that I do.
And you do, Brodie, And I gotta be honest I
haven't seen her since. So what have I been doing?
Every three four hours, I go into the big bag

(35:29):
and I eat a cookie. And this has been like
this now for two weeks. Yeah, the cookies left out
of fifty I've eaten a lot this, you know that
that that third fourth quarter skiy that we talked about.
I think he's coming. I think he's coming in the
first quarter because I'm sitting here and all I'm doing
is eating. Yeah. Well, I got Chinese food yesterday for

(35:51):
three people that were right, And then when I got home,
two of them said, oh, we didn't want Chinese food.
We're good. So now I've got Chinese food for three,
all for me. So I've been Chinese fooding it all
day today. So, you know, worse than cookies. And this
new place opened up a couple of days ago, actually
a couple of weeks ago, called the Pastrami House. Oh

(36:13):
my god, Brod, he's got your name written all over it.
They got all the Jewish delicate because because I'm a Jew,
I got it. No, because you love you love a
Yiddish food. It's not Yiddish food. Oh Hebrews, sorry you
like Hebrew. No, it's Jewish food. It's Jewish hitting. That's
a joke. Anyway. They sell everything, by the way, I'm
burping up astramia right now. It's members of the media. Food. Um,
here's a here's a helpful hint, members of the media. Food.

(36:36):
Helpful hint. Whenever you're whenever you go to a deli
or any place, and again, this place has brisket, pastrami,
corned beef. When don't get the sandwich, here's what you do.
Buy it by the pound. You buy it by the pounds,
break and then you buy the bread or you say,
kind of a couple of slices of rye bread and

(36:57):
then and then you make your own sandwiches of course, right, well,
I know that's what I'm talking to here, I know,
but I said something. This is a helpful hit for
our listener, right, get bread, slice slices, Get the bread slices.
If you if you have an option to buy anything
by the pound, buy it by the pound. And then
even if it's not offered on the menu, say andy,
buy it by the pound. Sure, let them do it,

(37:17):
and then you and then you make your own. Because
I gotta tell you, what comes in a sandwich is
about an eighth of the amount that I got. And
by the way, they don't have scales there because they
definitely gave me two pounds of brisket and two pounds
of astronomy. There's no way that was a pound each.
Because I now have brisket and pastronomy for days. I
wish you were here to help me finish it. That's
how much I have left over. Dude. Ah, that sounds

(37:40):
so good. Hey. By the way, yeah, Um, I put
up a post on my Instagram, right, and um it's
uh it's a listing of what's closed in the New
York and New Jersey area. Now it's not what's not
everything that's closed, it's everything that's been closed as of today.
So Governor Cuomo, New York's Governor Cuomo uh closed some

(38:04):
more things today, right, um, and made some new recommendations
and right, but it's not a list of everything that's closed.
So everyone's asking me, now our post office is open? Uh?
You know what about funeral homes? Uh? You know I
forced closed? No, no, Mike, yes, some things are forced closed. Well, well,

(38:26):
I mean bars, restaurants. And my point, my point is
they're asking me like, rather like google it or go
on the neighborhood. Brodie, I'm trying to be helpful. I
want to be helpful, but my point is I don't
want to give incorrect information for every single thing that
you're asking about. But you've got all the answers to everything, Brodie,

(38:48):
while I am answering them back. I do have the
answers to these questions. I just think if you have
like real important questions to ask about this coronavirus situation. Uh, Like,
somebody texted into the Morning Show and I mentioned this
on the fifty minute Morning Show, and they said, I'm pregnant,
Is it okay? You know how? How is my immune system?
Is it okay for me to go out? And so

(39:09):
I wrote back, you really should talk to your obstetrician, Like,
I don't think the Elvis Red Morning Show is who
you want to go to for medical advice. So people
are coming to us with those questions. You know, Hey,
can I go to the beach? Well, you can go
to the beach, but I'm not saying that's a smart move. Now,
if the beach is completely empty, you're not gonna get
coronavirus from the sand. But if this beaches are packed,

(39:29):
the people no do not go to the beach social
distancing and please don't don't send us. You know, you
really should call it um public distancing physical listening, right
because we still should be social with people. I know,
but somebody already made the term up. It's too late
now we get it, you know, but you can't undo it.

(39:50):
You can't unring a bell. We're calling it social distancing.
I'm sorry. It's not the name I would have come
up with. I would have called it keeping the funk
away from me. Ish yeah, out, you know, I still
I know by the way I noticed throughout all this
you you still found it in the kindness of your
heart to correct people's grammar on Twitter this week? Did
I uh? Was it Twitter? As someone said, or we're

(40:13):
listeners now correcting grammar for you? But I'm like, you know,
you're talking about the text message this morning. Somebody is
on the Elvis Durant fan page on Facebook that we
don't run and then correcting everybody's grammar. So what I
wrote back was because say we're complaining about it, I said,
tell that person not to do it, because they said
Elvis would want me to correct you. I said, tell

(40:35):
them on our behalf do not correct people's grammar, especially
when people are going through enough ship right now? So
wait where we have, Um, there's a fan there's a no,
there's a listener run fan page. I think there's I
think there's actually two of them. One of them is
like an uncensored version that the point is somebody's correcting grammar,
and I'm all about that normally, but I will tell

(40:57):
you I did correct. I did correct someone's grammar. Um
who was I speaking to? Oh? Crap? Oh like I
called Geico? Um, I had a I had a better
get Geico for your money. Money. So I was talking
to Geico and they were explaining to me why the
old car I bought from my daughter or older car
I brought from my daughter, which she's not even driving yet,

(41:20):
is more money in some categories than my two newer cars.
I'm like, why is roadside assistance eleven dollars and for
my other two cars four dollars and fifty cents. So
she says, well, according to the VIN numbers on the cars.
So I let one go and she says, um, you
know the safety features are much more improved. Your car

(41:42):
is more likely to break down because it's older. I said, okay,
and uh and why is um? Why is comprehensive more
money comprehensive? As if if I crashed my car, how
much they'll cover on the damage of my car? I said,
my car is not worth as much. Why is it
more money than my wife's car, which is a newer car. Well,
you know, according to your VEN number, I went on.

(42:03):
She said, that car doesn't have the safety features your
wife's car has. Did you throw in a GPS system
for good measure? Right? Right? And so? So I said, look, um,
my Dodge Charger has more safety features than all three cars,
yet it's the most money. Well, so that's a sports car.
And according to your VEINN number, I said, I gotta
stop you there, I gotta stop you there. Please just

(42:23):
say VIN please? And she said why. I said, because
VIN stands for Vehicle Identification number. You're already saying number.
And I'm sorry, it's just I don't mean to be,
you know, painting the butt. It's just kind of getting
to me. And I got enough stress in my life,
thank you. So she's like, I like, she was stop thrilled.

(42:45):
So then I started talking to her more about the cars,
and I said, the older car, I got from my daughter. Um,
has the same safety features as my wife's car. It's
all wheel drive, blind spot monitoring, air bags, h front
crash warning, lane departure. Yeah, but it's older, I know,
but uh, it's the same features. Well, but again it

(43:07):
goes by VIN number. Hey, didn't we have an agreement?
She was VIN. So for the rest of the call,
she said VIN. But I was going crazy. Now somebody
tweeted me, Um, you know what, I gotta look up
what it's called. What it's abbreviated for. Hold on p PE. No, No, no,
hold on p E E. Nope, that's p P P

(43:29):
p PE. Here, you gotta personal protective equipment. Okay, no,
so everybody's abbreviated with I'm done with people p PE.
So they keep they keep referring to masks and uh,
safety equipment for medical staff person. They keep referring to

(43:52):
it as PPE equipment, but the E is for equipment,
so it's just PPE or PP equipment. I would love,
I would love for them to call it PP equipment. Oh,
the hospitals don't have enough equipment. I think that's why
they don't do that, because they don't want people making
jokes like that. Right, I think like seven year olds.

(44:15):
By the way, it's something that just I popped into
my head, um that you we you mentioned, uh the
we that Elvis Duran facebook page where people are correcting grammar.
We're not really active parts of that, but I think
I might, I might be a follower of it, whatever,
but I don't look at it what I would like.

(44:36):
Since people are in this time of self quarantine and
they're looking for new habits to get into and new
things to discover, why not post a link of the
Brooklyn Boys podcast as Brodie passes the funk out over
there for no reason. Okay, I'm good. Did you drop
your mic? No? Okay, uh so I just dropped. I

(44:57):
dropped the mic after my rants, right, exactly, that coming
up in a second. Yeah, but yeah, but then we
gotta wrap it up. Post post a link to the
Brooklyn Boys the main page. Yeah, podcast, start promoting it
on Twitter, the put put the link, share it on
Facebook in all of these forums anywhere, there's uh someone

(45:17):
said that there's a Reddit forum for Elvis Duran Morning Show.
There's a there's whatever it is on Facebook, on Instagram, Twitter,
any any private fan group. Please not specifically this episode.
But but link to the main page and say, hey,
I heart radio, right you guys, yeah, post the heart
I heart linked the Spotify link. A lot of people

(45:39):
have Spotify pandor it doesn't matter. We get the credit.
Either way. We would love to really blow this the
show up, especially while people are home. Let's get something
to listen to. Let's let's spread it around. But please say, hey,
give these guys a try, because I will say that
people say, you know what, I hear them talking about
all these other podcasts, even podcasts from people that that
that aren't even part of your show anymore, and and

(46:00):
and that's all well and good, but what about the
current members of the Elvis Grand Morning Show. We got
podcasts too, So throw a link up there if you can,
and just say, hey, this is what I think of
these guys. Give him a try, and then see maybe
we'll get some people, and then you might get some
hate comments and then delete those you're an industrator, if
you're an admin, delete them anyway. That that's all I
got for you for the moment. We're gonna do a

(46:21):
rant coming up right right after this. All right, so
real quick, let's wrap this up. Let me tell you
what happened to Walgreens? Um, you would think that medical
professionals would be medically professional, would you not? Yes? Okay,
I mean it says it in the name, right. Okay.
So I go to the Walgreens in my general area because,

(46:42):
as I pointed out, I think previously there are no
Walgreens in my area, okay, which is another reason why
I'm pissed that I have to go to Walgreens. Nothing
against Walgreens, although you know they did give us the
infamous UM may help the uh the following customer. So
I go to the draw I threw, I pull up
and the guy says, how can I help you? It's

(47:04):
my first time going to this location. So I tell
him who you know? My nick in my name and UH.
I tell him the prescription I'm picking up. He says,
I need your medical card, so I give him the
medical card and my Health Savings Account credit card. The
drawer opens up and it comes out of the wall,
and in this long drawer is a one ft wide

(47:26):
plastic blue I guess you'd call it a bucket, and
there's a lot of room behind the bucket because the
drawer is about two ft long. When it comes out
to your window. And this bucket is maybe a foot
wide left to right, and from me to him it's
about I don't know, three inches wide. Okay. So he says,
put your cards in the bucket. So I dropped the

(47:48):
two cards. I'll let him go into the bucket. He
pulls them inside, and he's looking at my cards and
he's entering information. And I notice he's not wearing gloves. Now,
first of all, you're a pharmacist, right, you're in the
medical profession. You're handling my things. You should have gloves on. Okay,
So I don't say anything about that. What am I

(48:10):
gonna do at this point? By the way, then I
talked about the ice cream place in my neighborhood. Now
I'm gonna backtrack for a second. There's an ice cream
place in my neighborhood. They have homemade ice cream. It's delicious.
I've been going there since I since I live here
a long time. So Friday night, I decide, you know what, um,
this is before the lockdown and the businesses were open.

(48:30):
So I went before they closed, UM to get some
take out ice cream. So I pull up and I
get the spot right in front of the glass doors.
So I can see right into the business. It's in
a strip mall, and I look and the kid behind
the counter is scooping ice cream. He's not wearing gloves.
So I get back at my car and I get

(48:52):
right out of there. Actually I didn't get out of
the car because I can see through my windshield, so
I turned turned the car. I'm good, Listen, you should
have was on scoop and ice cream. No matter what
I think, I'm going to head out. But if you
got the coronavirus, are you SpongeBob right? If you got there,
you Homer Homer Simpson fading backwards into the bushes. Yeah,
if you've got the coronavirus pandemic going on in the country,

(49:13):
and I don't need your your virus knuckles dragging in
my pistachio ice cream. So uh. And then the kicker
is this This company posts on Facebook how they're you know,
they're not doing well and they need they need people
to come there, and they've got a kickstarter, and so

(49:33):
I feel like calling them and going, hey, maybe if
the kids wore gloves during a pandemic, your business might
not be suffering. Like, doesn't that make no sense at all?
That that you're not telling your employees who should be
wearing gloves anyway during like never mind the pandemic, but
like you know, I don't know if ice cream transfers disease,

(49:54):
but I'm not taking that chance anyway. Back to Walgreens, okay. Um,
So he gets my prescription and now it's in like
a little stapled white bag. He puts the stapled white
bag into a Walgreen's plastic bag. He puts the plastic
bag in the drawer, right, and the draw opens. I

(50:14):
take the bag from behind the blue bin and I say, um,
I look in the bag. I said, where's my credit
card and my when where's my medical card? He says, oh,
they're in the blue bin. Oh. So I look at him.
I go, I said, excuse me, and he walks away.
So I reach into the bin, in the bin that

(50:35):
everybody's been touching, the filthy blue bin, right the the
virus bait away, which, by the way, if you think
about that bin, it's all sick people that go up
to that bin there prescriptions. You all have a million
different diseases us, right, that is like the filthiest bin
in the entire store, because that's where people come from
their their pharmaceuticals, right, So so I take my cards

(50:59):
and I have have I have, I have, I have
sanitary wipes in my car, and I white. I wiped
down my credit card and I and I wiped down
my fingers and I'm all grossed out. So now I'm
sitting in the drive through. He's already talking to somebody
else who's back is to me. There's a car behind me,
and I'm sitting there waiting and waiting and waiting. He's
not turning around. I blow my horn. He says, yes,

(51:21):
can help you. I said, let me ask you a question.
You know there's a pandemic right now, right, He says, well,
of course, I said. So first of all, why aren't
you wearing gloves? He says, Oh, I just took them off.
I had to change pairs. I'm putting another pair on.
I said, well you you didn't. You didn't change gloves?

(51:41):
Um uh, And how could you forget to change you
put gloves on? You're touching my stuff. He's I'm terribly sorry.
I said, there's no vaccine for your sorry, like I said,
And let me ask you another question. How come you
didn't put my credit cards in the bag with my prescription.
He says, why would I do that? I said, because

(52:02):
you put him in the virus bucket and I had
to read. And you know how like when something is flat,
like a credit card and it's on the floor, you
have to like feel around and like pinch it up,
like yes, yeah, because you've actually feel around, you can't
get a grip on right. It's not like it's not
like it's an apple sitting in there. You can grab
the apple by the sides. It's a flat credit card. Um,

(52:23):
you dig your fucking fingernails into the virus bin right exactly.
So he's so, I said, hey, I have an idea.
How about next time? Uh you um, you know, you
put it in the in the bag with my stuff.
And he says, oh, that's a good idea. That's a
good idea. Hey, hey, Captain contagious, how about you put

(52:47):
the stuff in the bag and use your brain. You're
a pharmaceutical guy, you're a medical professional. Why am I
telling you how to be safe around the sick people.
That's your fucking job. You have one job, protect people
and keep them healthy. Your job isn't to make me sick.
So I have to come back and buy more prescription
drugs from you. Watch I'm on, we're paying for I

(53:07):
paid less at CVS. So fuck my company for making
me go to Walgreens. Fuck the guy who made me
write that. He wrote that contract, and then Quentin went
to work for Walgreens, And fuck you and the and
the drive through Walgreens for putting my ship in the
virus bin. He's he's a bad as much as much
of a medical professional as those Keels employees are wearing

(53:32):
those lab coats and then they're scientists. Yeah, this guy,
this guy, you know Keel, you Keels products. They fucking
looked apart. Every employee is wearing like a fucking lab coat.
And you walk in and you're like, oh my god,
these people must be in the back laboratory, you know,
mixing up atoms and molecules to make the finest in
in body washes and scrubs and shaving cream. Uh No,

(53:54):
that's your that's your outfits, your uniform, and that's the
thing they seem to you're getting your Walgreens. Well, you know,
we're getting medical profess You know where this guy's you
know where this guy should work with no gloves in
the ice cream store near my house. That's what he's
qualified for. So hopefully this guy and the car behind
me didn't put the stuff cards in the blue bin
of death anymore. So, you know, f you will, I

(54:15):
didn't get his name. I should have gotten his name,
So I'm just gonna call him Wally. F you Wally,
Wally Green. Yeah, Wally Green. He's a jew? Yeah you Green?
He wasn't a Jew. I can be sure that. All right. Listen,
you know, I'm hoping that maybe what you did was
you corrected here, so you should go back there, do
you know, you know, double back and see if the

(54:38):
death bucket is still there? Yeah, alright, oh my god. Alright,
well listen, this has been abbreviated. I think we'll be
doing more of these, yes, Uh, listen, thank you for listening.
Stay safe, keep your distance, stay home if you can,
and spread the word like spread the word instead of
the virus. Tell people about our podcast who don't already

(54:58):
know about it. We could use the help, uh, during
these interesting times. And one of these days when this
is over, we gotta go get a slice of pizza
in Brooklyn. Da Boys, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Dah Boys, Brock Brooklyn,