#174: Rock Jock Or Shlock Jock? #Babs

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
We're always telling you to shop small, shop local. That's
what we support, So we support Slice. They're the largest
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so slices. Why don't you grab a slice? It is
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Use keyword Brooklyn. How easy is that? From what I

(00:22):
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keyword Brooklyn for five dollars off your next order. Starf
dot up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn Boys,

(00:45):
that dot off dott up. They make you noise dotat
dot dot up. Episode one seventy four. This is the
Brooklyn Boys podcast. Yeah, yeah, no, not, there's never any expectation.
Who's to say when anyone is even listening or binging this.

(01:08):
Most people hear this, they don't know when it was released.
I mean, yeah, but normally we've been recording on a
third Wednesday. Recently. We used to record on Thursdays sometimes Fridays,
and then we moved to Wednesdays during pandemic time, and
now it's Thursday. Just happens to be a Thursday again,
So it's just like old times. Brodie. Yeah, well, maybe
you want to say something to Alexis Noel at Underscore.

(01:30):
Alexis Noel Underscore, that's rough, Uh, she said on Twitter
when you're sad emoji because at Scary Jones ditched the
podcast from Augarita's at David Brodie, we appreciate you, hastag
boogie bastard. Well, people need to know truth be told.
Last week I made plans to go tod on a Wednesday. Well,

(01:51):
I didn't know it was a Wednesday. It was just
Sinko de mayo. My friends are like big holiday field.
Well to me, do you ever call Thanksgiving Thursday? No?
Like Thanksgiving? What are you doing for Thanksgiving? Nobody, nobody,
but nobody. Giving is always on a Thursday. No, but
nobody thinks about it as a Thursday. I'm saying, do
you think of the holiday? You think of it on
a Thursday because you always get from when you think

(02:12):
of Christmas, when you think of New Year's Eve and
New Year's Day, you don't think of the day of
the week. You just think of the holiday because that's
the big headline. So my friend's job, if I have
a job, there is no job. But this is jo,
this is our fun. That's what we do. Know the
Brooklyn boys. I'm brody, he's scary. That's how it works.
So here's what happened. I said. So what happened was

(02:36):
I wanted to go out for single to Mayo, Like, yeah,
let's just book that place. It's hard to get in.
We got the reservation, and then my friend did be
a favorite let us in. And then I'm like, oh, ship,
that's today's Wednesday. Oh my god, thinking the Mara falls
on a Wednesday. Eight am, Scary texted me and says, hey, man,
I just realized. First of all, you didn't just realize.
You knew last night Tuesday night that you were going

(02:57):
out to dinner Wednesday, but you texted me at eight
o'clock in the morning, he said, He said, hey, man,
just I just remember to have dinner plans tonight. The
Sinko to Mayo just remembered eight o'clock and okay, okay,
so can we do the podcast at ten? I'm sorry,
I have a life. No the fact that you got
mad at me. No, I got mad at you because
I'm mad at me because I didn't change my entire
world for your party. I wanted to do it early.

(03:18):
I wanted to do a ten thirty in the morning yesterday.
But I'm half asleep. I lucky I get through the
morning show. Dude, I'm up all night. I know. Go on.
So if you're on social media, you know I'm responding
to your tweets at two o'clock in the morning. You
know one thing I want to send. There's been many
times I've made concessions because to you, for you, because
that I don't go public with. Well, they're legitimate concessions.

(03:40):
What makes me wanting to spend time on singing to
my my friends not legitimate? Because if I said to
you scary, hey, I'm going out partying on Easter Sunday,
I'm not. I'm my Christian. That's not Mexican. You're out
partying on Sinco to Mayo. You're an Italian kid from Brooklyn.
It's funny you say that because Peter so get there

(04:00):
and and all of a sudden, it's not Mexican Independence
Day's God, it's not, It's no, it was the Battle
of and that was when the Mexicans won the end
of I'm sorry, Mexicans beat the someone in a war,
France World War. They were outnumbered, outgunned, outmanned hundred fifties
something years ago, a long time ago, whatever. So so

(04:21):
we were out and all of a sudden they show
up with this what looks like a truck from this
this huge old school truck, and on the top of
the flatbed truck with these shots of Don Julio and
they come out with the sparklers. So I put it
on my Instagram story and no less than three people
are like, who look at the gringo celebrating Mayo. I'm like,

(04:45):
wait a second, anyone could celebrate that like this is
you're trying to appropriate the holiday for you And I'm like,
I'm at a place called gringos owned by white people.
It's called gringoes. It's called that because what a gringo
is is a a person who's white. It's a bunch
of yeah, yeah, but yeah, right. But what I'm saying

(05:07):
is the people who own Green Goes are Green Goes
and sitting in there? Are you gonna go out partying
for Kwanza next? Like? Wait, where do we draw the line?
But we're going to pass Over party? And you know
I've been to Satyrs before though, so it's hard for
me to say not at a bar. I've been as sators.
I've been as sators. Why you can't celebrate the occasion.

(05:28):
This is what's wrong with society. Why can't we all
give you? I'll give you a pass on St. Patrick's.
I was about to say, is it everyone doesn't everyone
where green and go drinking for St. Patrick's? So St.
Patrick's Day is really more of an American partying holiday.
At least it's started out that way. I know what
supposed to represence, so did and this one has become that.
But this is the it's it's a Mexican war. You're

(05:51):
out celebrating just okay, and it's a Wednesday. My point
is you give up the podcast for holiday? Did not
know because I had for I had these plans. It
doesn't know you had these Somebody listen to me something.
Somebody's got to do something other than go complain at home.
Depot for customer service. I can't be sitting in my basement,
locked up with my face mask on in my basement.
I'm not wearing a face. What I'm trying to say

(06:13):
is I'm trying to do stuff and go out and
see things and talk about things and have contents for us.
So so my, So you were taken one for the
team by going out. You did it. You did it
for the mask show preps. I see I need like
the national anthem or like something patriotic playing my apologies.
I didn't realize you went out on Sinco de Mayo

(06:34):
to celebrate the victory at the Battle of Pueblo, to
represent all of the people who have been quarantined, who
haven't been able to go out and not fully vaccinated yet,
who haven't rejoined society. People are not getting vaccinated. Dut dun.
That's pomp and circumstance. I get it. So God bless you,
Scary Jones. I'm doing things, by the way, speaking of

(06:57):
Sinco de Mayo. This is this is by the way,
this is. This is the difference between you and me.
You choose your life and I choose mine. Done, I
chose the podcast. I don't love the slice is any
any less, they know that you all them, you awe them,
you put them on the single to Mayo. I put
them over single to Miyo. Okay, So speaking is single
to Mayo the most embarrassing thing I've heard in a while.

(07:18):
So in case, because some times people say single to Mio,
like Rio de Janeiro, they don't think about what it means.
It's the river of Gennaro, whatever Gennaro means, but it's
Rio's river and day is of right. But people I
went to Rio de Janeiro, but they don't think about
it that it's a river, right like Punta Kana. It's
the it's the point. It's okay, all right. The point

(07:38):
to Mayo is the fifth of Mayo or which may
month of May? Fifth of May. Okay. So I'm not
gonna call out anybody by name because I'm a fan
of this person on the radio. But he was saying
to his co host, I can't celebrate tonight because I've
got some plans, other plans. I want to watch some sports,
Like I can't celebrate tonight. I'm going to celebrate next

(08:02):
week on the twelfth, right, Okay, week from tonight. That
would be the Doce de mayo. No, so he said,
I'm gonna be celebrating on Sinko down say. So, first
of all, don't say is eleven. Yeah, so what he
said was I'll be celebrating on five. That's not a thing.

(08:24):
What he meant was like you Tuesday next twelfth of May.
But he's celebrating on Sinko down say And he said
it like four times and nobody called him out the
fifth of eleven, right, Okay, so that's that's that's just bad.
We I could tell you something. I just want to
say this, don't sinco to mio yet. So make sure

(08:46):
you're seguing and keep it on single, keeping on the
keep it on the what's your favorite taco? What's your favorite? What?
What do you what do you love? What do I love?
I mean, I like, I like you know, carne asada?
Do you like barbacoa? Do you like? Um, i'll pasta?
Or what what do you love? I I like meat
and cheese and tomato and put it in something and

(09:08):
call it what you want. So okay, so like that's
the ground beef one. Okay, it's a less night. By
the way, if you went to taco bell to celebrate
sinco to mayo, you failed someone, don't talk about you
want to talk about a Mexican. At this place, they
had a chicken and waffle taco and it was so good.
It was fried chicken with syrup and and and the

(09:31):
taco shell was a waffle and it was so damn good.
I want to say, don't hate on it. But then again,
what do you expect from a place called Gringos? Yeah,
so I rest my case. But it was so good.
It was so good chicken and waffle taco. I well,
that's like calling like buckwheat spaghetti Italian? That no, what if?

(09:51):
I don't think Italians make buckwheats? What about chickpeef you see?
Or no, like squid inc pasta, lack lentil RIGATONI no, no, no,
made of lentils. No, that's not that's not Italian. No.
By the way, I'll get back to sing to mind
a second I had I bought I don't know how
to handle this yet, scary because they were closed when

(10:12):
I call you handle it all day in your basement. Ah. No,
I bought lasagna from somewhere pre made lasagna lasagny as
they would say, traditional meat lasagna with sausage, pork and vealing. Yep,
sausage pork and veel, no sausage beef and I and

(10:34):
I think feel lasagna. Well, right before the podcast, I'm
eating my lasagna, which is just layers of goodness, right,
and I bit down on something hard. So I thought
maybe it was like one of those things like it's
a little like a it's like, I don't know if
it's cartilage. It's in the sausage. You know, somethings get
a little wite. Yeah, somethings to get the white thing.
It's like a bone. It's like a piece of something, right,

(10:56):
So I'm like, I don't like to think about what
it really is. I just spit it out and it's
part of the sausage though it happens, right, So I
spit this thing out and it's a little piece of metal,
like it looks like it looks like a screw, like
a cork screw, like a piece of metal that got twisted.
But it looks like a like a like a paper clip,
but not a paper clip like thicker like it was

(11:17):
I don't know, like a like shrapnel was shiny. Yeah,
it was metal. It wasn't shiny because it was in
tomato sauce. But it's a piece of metal. So I
don't want to be like the guy who faked the
shrimp in the cereal box guy, and I'm on him
like I'm not gonna soothe them, But I feel like
I should at least tell them right, like I should say, hey,
maybe one of your machines is losing some some shavings

(11:38):
or something like maybe the sausage machine the grinder is
like is falling apart. I wouldn't make I wouldn't make
it a federal case. But next time, next time you
go in there, say hell, by the way, last time
this happened to me, I gotta let them know. I
gotta call him tomorrow. Next time I go could be
three weeks from now. So waits off and kill somebody.

(12:01):
So are you expecting to get money back? No, I'm
I said it. I'm not looking for anything. I didn't
break it too, so so you're just doing it for
safety reasons. Safety safety, like, hey, check out your sausage
machine because that that batch might be filled with other
pieces of metal. That That's what I'm saying. So I
immediately called and they closed at six tonight, so I
gonna call tomorrow. I see why. That's all. Yeah, So

(12:26):
back to single to Mayo. I'm not ready to talk
about it now, but I'm going to talk about what
happened to me at Chipotle. And I didn't go to
Chipotle because it was Single to Mayo. I wake because
my daughter was like, I'm in the movie Chippolea, can
you pick it up? So I want to tell you
what happened there because it end up in a a
in a very long phone call, and and some possible
free dessert. Great, um, I love that. I love free dessert.

(12:46):
Today was a different holiday today, and and don't quote me,
but today was either uh, nurses Day, Teacher's Day or
part of nurses week, Teacher's week whatever. Today was a
part of nurses week. It was Nurse's Day, but it's
also teacher week, right, I believe, Okay, no disrespect to
either of them, because they're both ultimately important. Sure, listen,

(13:10):
UH nurses are saving lives. The teachers are the future
of our without question. You know, you don't even have
to make an argument for that, right, Although somebody texted
in who was a teacher yesterday? And said us teachers
really could use the money. Us teachers right now. If
you're not sure what why that's wrong. It's we teachers,
like we the people, we need it, but you wouldn't

(13:32):
say us need it. So that's frightening to me that
that was a teacher. But anyway, I love teachers. I'm
not looking to find fault. But there was a problem today.
Did you see the problem on the text messages today?
Scary with Elvista ran big show. There was some problems, problems.
We do a four hour show, right the average person,
I know you've been like I listen the whole show.

(13:53):
The average person listens for twenty minutes. That means a
lot of people listen for seven I had to get
in the car, there in the shower. Here a piece
of the show. And if they don't hear what they
wanted to hear, they think we didn't say it, so
that you're talking about the horrorscopes problem. No, No, I'm
talking about the teachers and the nurses today. Oh yeah,
we acknowledge them. Then we go to commercial and then

(14:14):
all of a sudden it's like a new audience and
then they go, how come, how come you didn't talk
about We've talked about that on this podcast We know
the but here's what happened today. So, uh, it was,
you know how like you spin plates, like if one
has plates spinners that the expression like the guys on
the with the plates on the stick. You spin it right,
then you go to the next one and spin that one,
and then when the third one starts wobbling, you spin

(14:35):
that one. So you try to like keep everybody happy.
So Elvis was doing his best to hey, we love
our teachers, we love our nurses, we love our teachers.
Hey happy to and so uh someone would text in
and say, hey, you haven't mentioned the nurses. He'd go, ah,
love the nurses, hardware, what a year they had. I mean,
who doesn't appreciate what the nurses and the medical profession
has been through the past past year. It's been horrific.

(14:57):
And teachers having to work remote a lot of them,
and I mean it's terrible on both of them. So
as soon as he would say something about one of
the groups and give them their moment, the other group
would text in saying, hey, I got it. We get
the nurses, but it's also teachers. Where you got the teachers.
You can't please everybody at the same time. So at
some point around eight thirty, Uh, I guess it was

(15:19):
a teacher. No, it was a nurse. She's like, Hey,
I'm all about the teachers, she said, but I'm fucking
tired of hearing about teachers. It's nurse as weak. And
then she went on to say, like, hey, teach, Without teachers,
you wouldn't be able to read. Without nurses, you wouldn't
be alive to learn how to read. And how about
fucking remembering that? Like, holy sh it, Like I know

(15:40):
you've had like this one person. I'm not all all
of anybody, but this one person that that we we've
been talking about nurses all morning, and like you're shipping
on teachers because you only heard us say something like
you got a mental health awareness and I could here,
but it's like, if you're not covering this story about

(16:02):
the firefighter we mentioned it three times a well, people
get it. I mean here, let's move on this podcasting.
Was my point was day we were going after each other. No,
of course, because it's every five minutes. If you don't
say the same thing, people wonder why we play the
same song over and over and over again. How come
you didn't play Driver's License. Oh my god, you play
Driver's License, you can't win. But that's why. That's the

(16:22):
reason why we play the most popular songs over and
over and over and over again so people don't complaint. Yeah,
we played for the twenty minute listener podcast is not
like that because you're listening to the entire thing, so
we really only have to mention something once or twice, right,
and then you get it. Speaking of listening to the
whole thing. Uh, Two very important things we've learned this

(16:42):
week we want to share with you. Number One, Episode
one seventy still needs you to listen, so please help
out Episode one seventy. I know what's going on there,
but no, it needs some listeners. However, the I Heart
Radio charts that we've always been very proud of that
we made top tend top five. You guys have been
fantastic listening and whatever they change the algorithm on us,
they change some things. Did we need your help? It's

(17:04):
probably too late now unless you want to switch in
the middle. We'd love that they're only counting people who
listen on the I Heart Radio app. Ye, so if
you're listening on another app, even though we've joked about
trying to get on other apps. You know, if that's
your source, fine, but if you have a choice. We
realize you have a choice in podcast thing, and we
appreciate you choosing us. We would love it if even
if it's just for a couple of weeks, as in

(17:26):
exchange the radio experience. If you switch now great, But
let's make a note for episode one. Let's let's let's
pour our hearts out. You don't have to listen to
multiple episodes in a day, because we've learned also, they
don't count. I don't count, so one episode of day
is well we need now you can listen to we're getting.
So that's what we're saying. Let's see if we can

(17:48):
push this podcast through the roof if we could, because
the numbers are great, but apparently not they're a counting
for this I heart chart anymore. If you listen on
other platforms, that's all you've done. You're done. Hold on, Hey,
you you reacted to. You rarely react to stuff that
I post on Instagram. But the other day I posted
and I talked in foods, I mentioned what's this Yeah,

(18:10):
I mentioned around the room, the Big the Big Show.
I posted on Instagram on my story. Uh, it was
the Bruno mar song I Think I Want to marry you,
And it was a bride and Bruno mars it almost
like he was do we have to pay royalties for that?
I think we may? Oh, my god. And the bride
was at a wedding outside and they were the grass

(18:31):
was green, and there was beautiful bridal party and black
of her. She was about to wrote the bouquet behind
her head and she does a psych out and does
it over the head, does a little twirl and hands
it off to one of her bride'smaids. And then within
two seconds she the bridesmaid who caught the bouque, turns
around and there her fiance or there her boyfriend was,

(18:52):
who gets on one knee and pose proposes to her
right there within one fell swoop. That's why I say
fell not felt so literally. Within thirty seconds, it's bride
fake toss to the late to the bridal party, lady boom,
she gets the bouquet and then all of a sudden
she gets proposed to on the spot and then everyone

(19:13):
went oh, and everybody was surprised, and Brodie was like,
that guy's an asshole, and you know what, I agree,
and that's why I posted it because who how could
you steal someone else's thunder on their special day? I
don't get it. How does a bride? How does a bride? Like?
First of all, God bless the bride, you know, for say,

(19:35):
agreeing to all this because you know it was all planned.
But can you imagine that I wouldn't have the balls
to want to interrupt someone else's wedding and say, hey,
can I even do the proposal like your wedding? And
you can't ask The only the only way that makes
any sense is if the bride said to the guy like, hey, Mike,
you know what would be great if at the end,

(19:56):
when I throw the bouquet, if you're gonna because he
may have said that, I'm gonna propose, like I'm gonna
you guys have your wedding. We're not gonna get engaged
until after you guys are married, so we don't Still
if it was the bride's idea entirely okay, But if
it was his idea and he went to her and
she's like, maybe she don't want to hurt his feelings
and say no and being an asshole about it, yeah,
don't do that. Don't like you're in the video. Now,

(20:17):
that guy's a douche. If even if if he if
he convinced the bride, if he convinced the bride, I
want to do this, please please, we're gonna have a
viral video. Remember the day. Well that part happened and
went on TikTok and it did. Yeah, but you can't, like,
I can't fathom on my wedding day if if my

(20:37):
like if one of my buddies wanted to propose the
wedding Yeah, yeah, it's like that, not not No, I
mean listen, when I was working though, she turned around
really quickly. I have to watch the video again. Did
he call her like like, did he get he get?
He got in her face? She turned around with the
bouquet and he was like right there with the ring, right,
But what made her turn around? Did someone say turn around? Yeah? Maybe,

(21:00):
I don't know. I don't know. Well, in my mind
is that she turned around almost like she knew he
would be there. No, I don't think so. I don't
think it was staged in that way. I don't know.
I think maybe it was staged. Listen, we've had some
crazy ship go on when I used to be a
Palm Shore club waiter back in the day in Brooklyn.
Oh my god, dude, we we You want to talk
about stealing the thunder? How about somebody choking on the

(21:22):
salmon at dinner time and they had a car? Is
that choking on? No? Literally, we were some guy took
his girlfriend in the bathroom he was choking. We were
in the middle of dinner service. And some guys started
choking violently at at dinner and they had to bring
him out on a stretcher. They called the ambulance and
everything that was talk about stealing your thunder, being upstaged

(21:45):
on your wedding day, or or how about the time
where you know we had to You know, the wedding
halls were split in half, right, so there was the
top floor with the big party that was they spent
more money, and then there was the middle floor party,
which had half the amount of people and usually was
a buffet dinner and not a course by course meal. Well,
the people someone from the court from the middle floor

(22:06):
wedding got into a fight with somebody from the upstairs
wedding on the steps of the entire place. They were
literally outside and they must someone said something about someone's girlfriend.
Whatever was going on. On the steps of the Palm
Shore Club. They were smoking cigarettes and next thing you know,
they were like beating the ship out of each other.
And then the entire someone came running up the stairs

(22:27):
to the wedding that I was at, and they like,
there's a fight outside, let's go. Can you imagine that?
Poor bride? Like, when are you going to parties? Here?
I paid all this money and everybody runs off the
door to gain And there was a brawl that happened
on Emmon's Avenue in the middle of the street. It
was terrible. Yeah, you can't. That's you gotta put your
your your your your fight behind you, like you gotta

(22:48):
put the bride ahead of your desire to fight. Dude.
That's Brooklyn for you. Dude, that's Brooklyn in the nineties.
You know what's going on there at your house? You
got some a lot of scuttle butt there, Brodie, The
dogs a barkin. There's people coming in the house, so
the dogs are barking. Let them bark away. Yeah, Um,

(23:08):
you're right, Yeah, I'm good. Huh, I'm good. You don't
sound good. I'll tell I'll tell you what happened. So
I have the blue Yettie microphone and on the bottom
is a micro USB. You plug in the cable too,
and it's been loose for a while, which is why
sometimes you like it and sometimes it disconnects because it

(23:30):
was loose. So I saw on my dogs going crazy.
I saw online it's it's at a quote unquote easy fix.
It's an easy fix, eazy feezy fix easy. You take
the screws out of the bottom and you twist this
and you unscrew that, and uh, you get to the
circuit board part where the plug goes into the gazinta

(23:50):
and you take a little pair of needle nose pliers
and you give a little pinch. You tighten it back
up right and then it it grabs grabs better. So
I did that. So one of the uh it says, Oh,
the knobs pop back on. The little on off button
pops back on right with the light in it very
easy to put back together. So I put it back together.

(24:12):
Here's the problem what I'm noticing, and I probably have
to do this when we're not recording. The little button
that with the red light that you you push into
mute and you push back out to a mute. It
seems not to be lined up properly or not clicking
with the piece inside, and so when I go to
pause it, sometimes it doesn't pause, and if I pushed
too hard to get stuck. So I had to put

(24:33):
my teeth on it and pull it back out, so
to speak. If you know what I'm saying. What I'm saying,
I try to put my teeth back on it, you
try to pull it back out. So, yes, that's what
I just did. I got the button to come back
out because I had paused it with the dogs barking,
and I couldn't unpause it while you were talking. So
I went and I bit it and I grabbed it.
So there you go. Uh yeah, no, no, I was gonna.

(24:57):
I were you? You were looking up my Instagram about
when I posted this afternoon. You made me very hungry.
You did so normally when you post food, it's like
you were out the night before. Everything I post is food.
Let's be fair. This caught my attention for a couple

(25:18):
of reasons. One, I know you used us Slice to
make your order. I did so. I know that you
you know you're you're supporting local business. I can't be
upset with you, but you you put up a picture
of a meat ball Hero. But then you opened the
meat ball Hero and showed the cheese and sauce, and
it was like it was it was it was adult

(25:39):
entertainment for me watching this beautiful sandwich and knowing it
was that you did the right thing by using Slice,
and and you supported a local business, which is a
nice thing, Hothouse Pizza in this case. Shout out to them.
You know, it's crazy because the Slice people on Twitter
responded and they said, nice cheese pole. You know you

(26:00):
got that gooey cheese you have, you know, like when
you pull cheese apart from something from bread and has. Yeah,
that stretch, the little street stretch, that's how that's a
good That's the sign of the beginnings of a great sandwich.
But yeah, no, so I was I'm like, you know,
I didn't want pizza today, but I wanted something from
a pizza place, so I ordered meat ball Palm Hero.
I mean, you know, me and meet Paul Palm. I

(26:21):
mean that's synonymous. I'm beginning to look like a meat
Paul Palm. That was your nickname in high school. It
was uh and you were a chicken parm so you
we were pretty much one and the same. But you know,
we wanted to we want to let our our slices
know that. Hey, we talked about it at the top
of this podcast, and we'll mention it again that the
reason why we love Slice so much is because they

(26:43):
have saved local businesses and local pizzeria as an independent
restaurants around the country over two d fifty million dollars
in fees because they don't charge them as much. They
work with over fifteen thousand local places. This is a
national thing, by the way. So there's if you if
you gone to the Slice uh you know app wherever
you you can download it, you can see local pizza

(27:04):
places in your area. Uh. And that's why we want,
you know, wanted them to be a partner with us
because well, first of all, their website, uh, Slice life
dot com makes all the sense of the world and
you guys just slices for life. UM. We want to
support them as much as we can, use them as
often as you can, and you know that your next order,
their next order, you get one, and you say use

(27:25):
it wisely on your favorite place. You get five dollars
off using the keyword Brooklyn. You use code Brooklyn to
check out, they'll give you five dollars off. But they
do other things. Yeah, they also make ordering easy, so
rather than call the local place when they're busy and
they gotta put you on hold. I was visiting my
mom this weekend. I legitimately called right. She's like, call them,

(27:46):
call them, call them. I said, right, Mom, but I'm
gonna use the app, so we'll call them and see
what time they close. I called and I got I
got a message that they said, uh, we're busy right now,
please hold. I was on hold for six minutes. I
gave up. I went on the app. I ordered immediately
and I was done. And I customized that. You know
me with customizations, I customized it. I got my mom
what she wanted. She wanted to meet boll Hero. No cheese,

(28:08):
my mom. My mom doesn't like the cheese now at
her at her age, she doesn't. I got myself a
sausage Palm Hero using slice and I got it. It It
was perfect. And then I have to do with the phone,
which was great. I just showed up, picked up my
order and I was done, and and and the best
part of this is now it's of course Mother's Day
this weekend. You want to do something really funny. Um,

(28:31):
they have pizza bouquets from Mother's Day. I'm starting to
do this. Certain places have it. It picture around pie
and then picture a fold on one side and then
the opposite symmetrical, and a fold on that side, both
inward towards the center, making a triangle at the bottom.

(28:51):
And now it looks like a bouquet of flowers. Your
entire pizza. So they literally folded for you and it
looks like a pizza bouquet. It hilarious when it's all done.
But we want you to if you can, you know,
go to slice, Go you know, download behind the place
it has a pizza, but downloaded from your on your smartphone,
by the way, from the app store. Okay, and one

(29:12):
of my flowers by the way, that's great, but they
don't taste as good as pizza. Do something nice for
the women in your life, for your mom's and get
yourself some pizza, and again use code word the keyword
Brooklyn and get five dollars off. I got one of
those scam calls, a different kind, and I was almost

(29:32):
relieved by it because it wasn't the usual Marriott Hotels
or uh car warranty. This was the call. I don't
know if you've gotten this slices or scary. This is
the call I got. It was a number I didn't recognize,
but I said, I'll just pick it up because you
never know, it could be somebody whatever. So they said, uh, hey,
this is Jason. Hey, sorry I missed you. Oh this

(29:55):
is Jason Hello. Can you hear me? This is Jason Hello.
They kept saying that you wanted to make it. They
wanted to make it like real life, right, they can
you call me back? My phone's breaking up. Call me back.
First of all, so I looked up the phone number.
It's in Kentucky. So number one. I don't know anyone
in Kentucky. I certainly don't even named Jason in Kentucky.

(30:17):
And I'm pretty sure there is nobody in Kentucky named Jason.
That's what I'm going with. All three, so, uh, this
is the new scam they call you, And it wasn't.
It wasn't. It wasn't with an accent where you think
like it's another country. Literally a ah, my phone's breaking up,
call this number right now. And then they'll charge you
five hundred dollars a minute. As soon as yeah, they

(30:39):
connect you kind of scam off. They connect you to
a third world country and then you screwed. Oh yeah,
and they try to get some automatic forwarding to try
and get your Social Security number. They hire some guy,
it's a voiceover guy, and like, I we need you
to read this script. Hi'm Jason. He has no idea
what it's for, but he records it. Then I got,
you know, some some countries somewhere in the world that
scams people play the Jason clip, put it on the

(31:01):
call go. So I don't know if you've got if
you've got similar calls, if it's always Jason. But Jason
called me, and you know I didn't call Jason back. Hey, um,
it was that what this was? Voice oh one in
the sound clips or no, that's a different voicemail. No,
So I didn't label it. No, I didn't get to
record the Jason. I'm trying to Oh you know what

(31:21):
that is? Okay. So I'm listening to a hard rock
station on satellite radio. Okay, And you know how sometimes
rockers try to sound so cool that they crap on
pop music. Oh yeah, that's their best defense, right. So
that's clip one, and then you have the Katie clip. Katie,
that's clip too. So this this DJ, I don't normally

(31:43):
make fun of people in our industry, but she was
trying too hard to sound like a rocker, and I
didn't get the impression. She's actually a rocker. But she's
very upset about the Billboard Awards, so she does every
cliche in this break. She craps on you know, the
mainstream UH Award Joe and pop artists, and it's almost
like a textbook, like a script for yeah, man, everything

(32:07):
is anti establishment. And then she puts on the rock
her voice out of culture is the counterculture, right. And
then I want you to hear the way she signs
off her DJ name at the end, which is what
the Katie clip is hard being really cool rocket girl? Right, Alright,
you know how Five Finger Debt Punch are nominated for

(32:30):
you don't pause on this thing, Hold on, I'm sorry,
She goes, you know how five Finger Death Punch got nominated? No,
I don't know how they got nominated. She what she
means is you know that they did, But she's like,
you know how they got nominated? Right, right, first of all, trying,
she's trying to dumb down the speak. Right, nobody talks
like that anymore. Okay, so listen to her. Gad here
we go. All right? You know how Five Finger Debt

(32:53):
Punch are nominated for Billboard Music Award for Top Rock Artists.
I didn't know who else was nominated, so I went
and looked, and this makes little to no sense. But
what do you expect from the Billboard Music Awards. The
only other band that makes sense in this category is
a C d C. Otherwise you have twenty one Pilots
and Machine Gun Kelly. They are not rock artists. People,

(33:16):
Oh man, what are they thinking? I pray that Five
Finger Death Punch takes this one home to show the
real rockers what's going on. Listen to them right now.
My name is Katy Babson. Thanks for hanging Katie Babs.
Yeah A play that play the Katie clip again. I
was Katie Babs. My name is Katy Babson, Thanks for
hanging God. Oh God, that's putred. You don't talk about

(33:43):
dud that. People like that give us a bad name,
which is people being people. But whatever, someone does the
DJ voice. They're talking about her everything that's wrong with radio.
They're not the real rocker roy like us. And I'm sorry,
Katie Babs, but it's ketob albums. I'm sorry, Katie, Katie.

(34:03):
My name is kat My name is Katie. By the ways,
is the oldest cliche in the DJ freaking handbook. That's
a crutch phrasist. Every checklist it was, let's let's shoot
on the establishment, let's shoot on the pop artists. Let's
real rock and roll. The voice. It's called the Billboard

(34:25):
Music Awards. Okay, So in the world of Billboard and
if we're judging by the charts and who's buying the
music or who's listening to the music and what music
they're listening to, I'm sorry, but Machine Gun Kelly arguably
had you know, one of the top rock albums of
the year. He really did, and that's because that's according
to the fans. He's He's got like three four songs

(34:48):
on it that are huge, their hits, their rock I mean,
I sent a lot of guitars in them. And then
she mentioned she goes off on twenty one Pilots, another
really successful rock act. Hey guess what the rock world.
Thank god for artists like twenty one Pilots and Machine
Gun Kelly to keep keeping a death, to keep the

(35:08):
genre alive. You see what I'm saying. Else is doing
music like that, and Machine Gun Kelly with Halsey Forget
Me Too, that's a rock song. And you know me,
I'm a metal head and I like five Finger Death Punch,
And I know what she's saying. It's like she wants medallic.
If it's not loud cock rock, then it's not rock.
But that's not true. You know who doesn't like Machine

(35:29):
Gun Kelly. Katie Babs. They'll play the clip. My name
is Katy Babs and for hanging Kate Babs. And by
the way, the friend of Kati Babbs. We apologize Babs.
I mean your your your name is Katie Babs and
you're that's and you're on rock station. You're trying to
of course no, but even your DJ name, like, I
think you need a better name than Katie Babs. And

(35:50):
by the way, can I can I just rip the
rip the band aid all, We'll rip the mask. Why
not just be Kate? Hey, it's Kate. Anyone in radio
whose last name is night that's not no, and it's yeah,
I'm sorry, or any anyone with the name Kid in it. Well,
that's yeah, their name isn't kid, but that's there's no kid.
It was like a kid, Mike. Chances are it's not.

(36:11):
My classic radio move is to take your first name
and your middle name and make that your DJ name.
Uh huh what about taking your last name and making
it your DJ name, your last name, making your right exactly?
But that's our actual names, but we don't say like
it's roady and I'm hanging. We're hanging with you. Hey,

(36:33):
thanks for hagging with us. Thanks, Wow, that's rough man.
That is right that clip. I love Katie. My name
is Katie. Thanks. I'm gonna have to get more audio
from her. The only thing, the only word it was
missing was ever bloody at the end, Thanks for hagging
ever block. That's right. Wow, I love the laugh. Can

(36:57):
we play the party game? She talks about the Billboard
woods and does the laugh. He played the clip again?
All right? You know how five Finger Death Punch are
nominated for Billboard Music Award for Rock Artists. I didn't
know who else was nominated, so I went and looked
and this makes little to no sense. But what do
you expect from the Billboard Music Awards. The only other

(37:19):
ways that makes sense in this category is a C
D C. Otherwise, that was That was a hearty guffaw
Katie Babs, What does she expect. It's the Billboard Music Awards.
That's it. She said it right, There is the Billboard
Music Awards. So that's what you're getting. And and and
they are mainstream rock groups. She's appealing. She's appealing to

(37:43):
the hardcore rock. That was I don't know it was
octane or it was it was serious. Exam I said
it was satellite radio. Nobody, no, no, most Okay. I
can't speak for the country, but nobody in New York
plays five Finger Death Punch. We don't have a hard
rock station. So I get it. You can't compare Machine

(38:05):
Gun Kelly with five Finger Death Punch. I get that.
It was just the whole presentation was you know, that's
just my She should you know, if she really wants
to to sound like she's talking to her audience, she
should probably dial it down a little bit, just be
a little bit more uninterested. But no, no, not sound
not try and pretend to you know, I'm saying, be

(38:27):
authentically be uninterested in your content that is exactly be
be lethargic and groggy, but actually be that way and
not act that way. And I think then she'd be
more in line with the station format. Well, you know what,
I would have liked to have heard who she would
like to have been nominated? Like who who was left out?
Who that your audience loves was left out? Kata bab?

(38:49):
And she was probably Yeah, she probably should on a
lot of people's favorite artists this year. A lot of
her audience was probably saying, what then you talking about
that Octaine's hardcore? Like, then, I'm playing machine Gun County.
It's not the mainstream one, right, It's it's hard, it's
hard rock. Oh okay. So I had this clip a

(39:10):
few weeks ago. It was something that was bothering me.
It's a commercial at airs on our morning show a lot,
and I couldn't remember that. I couldn't remember the client
right for a while. Then I remember the client was
grub Hub, and I didn't know I'm I'm gonna admit this.
I didn't know what the product was, so I thought
it was slang for something, and then I thought maybe
I was hearing it wrong. I couldn't figure it out

(39:30):
every time it aired. I'm like, what does this mean?
So he says, there's he's talking about props and discounts
on different things when you used this particular app And
so he says, uh, perks to about perks right, so
he's like perks on soda. He says perks on a
word with a B and I didn't know what it was,
so I thought I was hearing it wrong or it

(39:51):
was some kind of street slang. I then, after I
got the clip before we're playing it today, I did
figure out what it was, and I googled it and
I feel silly for not knowing, But did you know
what it was? Play the clip and uh, it sounds
like a character from Star Wars? But go ahead, what
if we add a side of French? Are you dancing now?
How about parks on boba but not perks on boba? Yeah,

(40:16):
perks on boba. You know perks on boba means Okay,
I didn't either. I don't know how boba was. Is
that a Is that a certain dialect from a different
part of the country or something that we're not familiar with. No,
So that was like perks on boba? What is perks
on boba. So I would think in a commercial you
should be talking about mainstream products, right, like you know, like,

(40:36):
is it boboly bread? No, that's not it. What is
is an Indian dish? Yeah? Well, now that I know
what he's saying. Right now, people are screaming at their
phones go against boba. It's it's it's a It's a
word used for bubble tea. Oh okay, I didn't know that. Okay,
so if the K pop crowd is listening, then I

(40:59):
think Japanese people have bubble tea also, But I right,
so I didn't know it. Well, it's it's an Asian thing,
completely bubble, so it's boba. So it was so he
probably should have used the word bubble tea in the commercial.
Then I would have understood it. But I didn't know
what boba is. I do now. Guess what I was today,
years old when I found out what bob Yeah, so

(41:20):
I didn't know either. Yeah, okay, good, we learned something today,
and then so did half of our audience. The other
half yelling at us, yelling at us what frank And
said and Mr God damn it. Yeah, you're putting boba
in the same category as the three wise men gifts
to the Baby Jesus. Same shit, Frank and sense Boba,

(41:42):
same thing. See you didn't know that you knew the
other one. Come on, now I learned Boba. Alright, alright,
and uh I know Bob Boba Fett. That's what I
had a Star Wars character. I'm like, oh, I get
I get perks on Boba Fett. Yeah, alright, now, okay, okay,
I can't take credit for their but you will. No. Well,
now I'll tell you who who that's a clip of.

(42:04):
So there's a radio show here in New York that
I absolutely love, Carton and Roberts. If you know them,
tell him. I said, Hi. They do sports talk radio
here in New York, and they veer off a little
bit occasionally from sports and do it like what we
do another dudo that veers off from what they're talking about. Yeah, well,
well you're talking about that cause I mentioned a podcast
that I was pissed at a little bit. So I

(42:26):
think we should bring that up right out of this.
We'll talk about those two guys. So they were what
they do is So there's a guy on the Yankee
radio announcer team named John Sterling is a very famous voice.
He's done national stuff too. Yeah, he's the guy who
has a nickname for every guy who hits a home run. Right,
So uh, like he'll do um, like if it was

(42:49):
Pete Alonso, it's a gonzo from Alonzo? Is it a
bomb from a rod? He's always and some of them
are stretches, you know, it's like you're like, oh my god. Really,
so he sometimes he doesn't see the ball and uh
because he's like eighty and he'll sometimes like say, it's
a fly ball to the outfite, Oh it's a home run, right,

(43:12):
because he gets all excited. It's going back, it's far,
it's deep, it's caught. And so last week, because the
the the announcers, if you don't know this, are not
traveling with the teams if it's an away game, they're
watching it in the local stadium in this case, Yankee
Stadium on TV monitors because they're not flying to the

(43:33):
other city COVID reasons, right. The Mets announcers the same thing,
So they're not flying with the team for safety reasons.
That's most announcers can't swear all of them, right, So
they're watching TV monitors. So last week, uh, a player
on the Yankees had a home run, let's say, on
a Wednesday, and he hit another home run against the
same relief picture the next day. I think the details

(43:55):
are fuzzy, but he goes, oh, it's another home run
for so and so. Oh wait a minute, that's yesterday, right,
and so his callost that that's that's today. So he's
doing a commercial for guacamole now. Carton and Roberts spent
twenty five minutes of hilarious radio making fun of this commercial,
ready read by the sports guy off of the Yankees

(44:17):
radio networks, John Sterling, the man who sometimes doesn't see
what the ball is. Okay, here's his red for guacamole's
last night and I had some homemade Guatemali guacamole. He does,
he does, Hey, Guacamali lovers, and this is your chance
to hit a Guawcoff home run with some delicious, one

(44:40):
fresh guacamole at the Avocados from Mexico guac carts. They're
located around the stadium. Drew, let's just follow back the
count one on one. I have not run into a
guawk cart yet, but okay, so they're make it fun

(45:00):
of it. So So so you're listening to a radio
show within a radio show, right. So the two guys
are commentating on the third they're making fun of the
guy works on their own station. Right. It's then playing
the clip, right, then I must playing the clip of
the play that part again, though if I just just
that part, you gotta zip ahead a little bit. I

(45:21):
can't do that. Okay, Hey guacka Molly lovers off home run. Right.
So they spent the next half hour talking about walking off,
walking off. And by the way, we would do the
same thing, right. I don't want to give them credit
because props. Yeah, because you were twelve year old boys.

(45:43):
For twenty minutes. It was fantasic. Craig Carton, Craig Evan Robertson, Creig,
that's awesome. Dad would listen just for that. I texted
Joy said, put it on right now. And here's the thing.
This guy, like I said, he's sent late seventies, early eighties,
whatever it is. He's legend very talented manager. He called
all the Yankees famous world series. In the thing about

(46:06):
John Sterling, john Sterling is not going into a studio
and recording that and editing it and putting music under
it himself. He's doing it live, right, He's doing it live.
So so nobody stopped him, right nobody? No. I guess
maybe they nudged him in the middle because he said
it right the second time. But how do you not
know guacamole. You don't have to eat it to know
guacamally Anyway, I want to give them props. I'm gonna say, yes, okay,

(46:33):
you're right, Okay, we good? No no, no, no, no, no, no,
you're fine, we are We're good. Uh there. I was
going to comment on him from the night. Never mind,
We're not gonna go on without him. He's he's a
he's a lovable man and he is we've made mistakes
before as well. It could have been a typo on
on the sheets. Okay. Also, yes, another little piece of sound.

(46:54):
This is funny because uh the Jersey kid, you know,
Jersey kid Greg T Farmer. Uh yeah, member of our
morning show? Yeah yeah? Is this my clip? Your clip?
Und I've sound? I have said, no, this is nothing
to do. This is a mother and old Mother's day
clip that he reminded me of. He was like, scary, scary.
You should you guys should play that on your on

(47:15):
your podcast, and I'm like, I didn't approve this. Well,
you don't have to approve it. It's okay, it's fine,
it's nothing, has nothing to do with the Jersey kid.
He reminded me of it. It's Mother's Day coming up,
and it always brings to mind our old friend Vinnie
d Vingo. Remember that Mother's wrote him. Yes, yes, I

(47:36):
was gonna surprise you with this. Come on, okay, So
let me give the backstory. So, first of all, vinnyd
Vingo is was the Uncle Johnny of his time, Yeah,
except with a mob flair from the streets of Newark,
New Jersey. Will you breaking kneecaps? You know he's really
he wouldn't. Yeah, I think he did. I think he
served some time knee over there. And he was a

(47:58):
listener of our show and real character when he called in,
and we started having him on the show, and so
we would utilize him for stick yeah, for bids. So
I wrote a Mother's Day poem for him, and then
Scary and I went through the old record collection, legitimate
old records at the Radio sy and found one old
album of instrumentals where it sounded like you could put

(48:19):
it under a poem and we produced this together. We
got a long time ago. Vinny is still alive, but
he's just not part of our show anymore. But he
was sort of like the Wunco Johnny flies in once
every other week whatever, like he comes on and like
you call him. We would go, like, Vinny, what's your
take on this? I want to shout out the Jersey
kid Greg t because he reminded me of this existence,

(48:40):
because you guys should play that. And I'm like, you
know what, I'm gonna get it. So I grabbed it,
I found it, dusted it off, And this is Vinny
de Vingo's song about his mother, Right, I'm gonna pay,

(49:06):
And is for the many times she hit me. I
still got Bruce. All means I wish I wasn't often.
T is for my terrible childhood. H is for the

(49:27):
hamster that she killed I'll never forget. It's for the
a's she couldn't cook, right she still not are. It's
for the rotten things she called me. I get you,
I get you at fist for the fat but that
my ma has you is for the ugly clothes I wore.

(49:57):
She is for Okay, that's yeah. Elvis got very very
very panicky. He's like, see what what what's he's spelling? Anyway,
I thought I would pull that out. If you know
what I'm saying. You know that's good stuff. Anyway, Benny

(50:18):
de Vino, we love you, We miss you whoever you are,
you know, and happy Mother's Day all the mothers out
there you would need. I don't know what you're doing
for Mother's Day, but I'm taking my mom out for
for some food. She finally caved in, Brody. She goes,
you know, all these years you asked me to go
to restaurants and I always want to cook. This year,
I'll do whatever you want, which means she's coming around.

(50:41):
She's like, you know what, she's I'm old. We just
had a holiday here at the house. I don't want
to clean up fuck it. So, for the first time
in like forever, my mom is allowing us to take
the kids, my my sister Jennifer, my brother Stephen, and
the whole family out for Mother's Day lunch on Sunday.

(51:03):
How great is that? That's very cool? So so shout
out to mom for Mother's Day. What about you, Brodie,
We're gonna be visiting Mom at her house I've asked
her what she wants food wise. Uh, I figured i'd
make a trip maybe to Brooklyn if she's got so
she's she's put together a list. It's the time to
spoil mom. Anything you want, any food, you let me know.

(51:26):
It doesn't matter expensive, location, whatever, Uh, you'll get it.
So she's gonna put together a list of a couple
of things that she hasn't had since she left Brooklyn.
Maybe some pizza, some Italian foods for Chinese, so whatever
she wants. I told her last night, get the list
ready for me. I'm spending my Friday shopping so because
I'm gonna see her over the weekend, I said that

(51:47):
Friday is my day, so I may I made me
a Brooklyn run on Friday, having decided. You know, it
depends on her. Whatever she tells me to do. Good.
That's if I'm still alive. What are you talking about? Well?
I mentioned last week that the uh, the guy who
directs traffic at my daughter's school is trying to kill me.
I said I would talk about that this week, so
if you'll indulge me. Um. So, Uh, the school has

(52:11):
an entrance, right, and so it's it's down a hill
so the there's a down on the so there's one
lane down and one lane up normally, but when it's
pickup time after school, both lanes are used to go down.
You follow me so far, okay. So I come from

(52:31):
the north, and so I turned into the left of
the two lanes, which is normally an up lane, and
there's a line coming from the south. They turn into
the normal down lane right, which is the lane closer
to them. Okay. The road on my side, why coming
from the north, which means I'm going south, has a

(52:53):
turning lane, so the cars line up in the turning
lane to turn left into the left lane to go
down the hill to the school, and the oncoming traffic,
which is driving north from the south, has the right
lane of cars lined up to go into the lane
to go down the hill, and the left lane of

(53:13):
the oncoming traffic is people that have nothing to do
with to school. They're just driving by. Right, So the
cars that are coming north at me are going past
the cars to their right in the right lane, and
they're driving north to where like where I came from. Right, okay,
So I can't make a left into the hill into

(53:35):
the parking lot entranceway until I make sure that there's
no cars coming at me. Does that make sense? Okay?
So Hector stands at the at the at the top
of the hill, waving cars on when they can turn
into the double the double lanes and the double lanes
have a divider because again, normally one's up ones down.

(53:57):
There's like a little island between the right. So I
have to wait my turn, and when I'm the next car,
I make a left into my lane to go down
the hill. Well, Hector can only see when there's enough
room at the top of the hill for me to fit.
He can't see the oncoming traffic that I can see
because he's he's um. He's looking at the line of

(54:19):
cars in the right lane coming at him. He can't
see the cars in the other lane that I can
clearly see. So he stands there and he goes, all right,
let's go, and he waves me. If I were to
go and he waved me, I'd be dead. So every
day he's giving you, he's giving you wrong instructions. He's
he's actually trying to incite a crash. Right, So every day, go, Hector,

(54:40):
this car is coming. Oh. Every day he's waving me go,
let's go. Let's going like the wind up wave, like
the circles. But come on, come on, come on, come on.
He's not saying to me like go when you're ready.
He's gonna come on, let's go, let's go, because he
wants to keep the cars moving. Me. Well, there's a
fucking truck coming today at me, which was worse than

(55:04):
last week when I was upset that there was three cars.
There's a truck coming that he doesn't see. He wants
me to turn and make a left. Thank God, you
can make your independent decisions and that you're not just
a sheep and you follow everything. Every day. I pick
her up three or four day times a week, and
every freaking time he does the wave. If I had,
I don't even look at him now. I just fucking

(55:25):
go when I want. I just go when I can.
He is an obstacle on the road and you don't
pay any mind. Yeah, it's like, um, it's like when
you're like the people that stand there when it's like
construction and they wave you to keep going. You know
that That's what I'd be doing. Yeah, you're not keep going? Yeah,
the flag it got worse today. So today I make

(55:46):
it down the hill alive, right, no thanks to And
so you go down the hill, you make a right,
and then you make a left. At the front of
the school. If your kid is there and they're not looking,
the kid can jump in fast right because they don't
want you to stop in front of the school. But
if the cars are blocking, like like bottlenecking, then your
kid can jump in quick. Okay. So today I pull

(56:10):
up and and my kid hasn't come out yet. So
I'm I'm driving along the front of the school, and
my option is make a left into the middle row
of parking or keep going to the second row of parking.
And I'm trying to stay along in the front of
the school, hoping she'll come out any second. Okay. So
I I get to the end of the school, my
option is to make a left right into the lane

(56:32):
of the parking lot. There's a school on my right.
There's a wall in front of me, so I have
to make a left. There is a woman standing there
with glasses, red hair with glasses, and she's waving me
to go left. It's my only option is to go
left left or to hit her. Go left, young man, left,

(56:55):
young man. So I guess she went to the same
school as hector in in car directionals because she's waiving
me like, go there, go there, obvious directions. So so
I wrote down my window. I said, Um, what's my
other option? She looked at she's what do you mean?
I go, Well, if you're telling me to go left,
what else could I have done? She just looked at me.

(57:17):
She's like, I h she must have thought you were
an asshole. She's like, fucking Larry David over here? What
else am I gonna do? Driving? By the way, speaking
of Larry David, my cousin John, he's a comedy writer.
He was writing comedy before I was writing comedy and uh,

(57:38):
in fact, he was part of my inspiration to seeing
that he could do it that I decided to attempt
it right. So he lives out in California. He's written
for a lot of TV shows, a lot of them.
Wrote for Bill Maher, he wrote for Penn and Teller.
He's written for a lot of a lot of big
TV shows. So we're talking about something and I mentioned
Curb Your Enthusiasm as oh, I wrote a bunch of

(57:59):
stuff for them. So what he says, Yeah, I wrote
I wrote stories for them for the show. What what
what do you mean you wrote for the show? How
do you not tell me this? You're my cousin? He's
it was you know, there was no So I said,
what what what? What? What are you talking about? What
did you write for him? So he said, well, you
know we had the same agent. I So I went

(58:21):
to a pitch meeting. He would have a pitch meetings
every year, every couple of months whatever. I sat in
a room and I gave him stories and they they
ended up in the show. I said, how do you
not tell me that you're my cousin? Like, but both
comedy writers, are you not? He started running down a
couple of them. So I'm gonna give you just one.
And I think I think we were we know what
we were talking about. We were talking about charities that

(58:45):
pissed me off. Yeah, Like like when a company says,
for every milkshake you buy, will donate a dollar up
to five million dollars such a charity. Hey, you know what,
they're gonna donate the five million anyway, just donate the
five million. You're a billion dollar company. Don't make me
get fat on your milkshakes for every dollar milkshake I
buy you get just dontate the money. Well they got

(59:06):
a profit. They're gonna make some profit off of you
at the same time, right, and then and then like
you know what you want to donate money to? Uh cancer,
don't make me walk, just don't make the money. So
do so he wrote a bit where um a super
Dave Osborne who plays um funk funk Houser Larry David
Freend He died last year, but funk Housers like the

(59:27):
Greg t of the show, right, the putsy guy, the clown,
the funny guy. So he would always get into So
he he got Larry to give him money to go
walk in a walkathon. And then Larry sees him like
in a restaurant that day and he's hanging out. He
didn't do the walk so Larry David goes, I want
my money back. He didn't walk. He goes, why do
you want your money back? It was for a charity,

(59:47):
he was, I paid you to walk. He has he
paid me for the money for the charity. So that
was the bit that my cousin's remember that EPISODEZ I
like that. The point is I feel like, especially at
the weather is getting nicer right, listen, raising money, being
on a team, it's great, camaraderie, it's great if you
do that. Great. I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just
speaking for me now. If you want to donate money

(01:00:10):
to a cause on my behalf, please just donate the money.
Don't make me walk for it. Just donate the money,
you know. Yeah, But there's this. The thing is when
you you have an event like that and everybody's being
put together, people get to talk, they network, want to
get to discuss if it's like a problem, if it's

(01:00:31):
like an issue or a disease or something or no.
It brings everybody together and it gets everybody like kind.
They have stories and families and scared. I've done it,
I know. But I'm just giving you the other side
of it. That's a no, no, no, no no. I'm
not saying that people shouldn't do the walks. I'm saying
for me. Okay, for you, I'm saying, don't ask me

(01:00:52):
to walk, just give the money to the charity. That's
all for me. I've done walks. I've done five k's,
I've done two point five k's. I've done it all right,
I've done really for life for twenty four hours where
your team walks around a track at at a college.
I've done three of those, so we're not going to
be doing the Brooklyn Boys March of Dimes. Uh no,
that's well, that's a different thing. But that's not a

(01:01:13):
walker though, well as it could. All right, whatever, don't
make me walk, is what I'm saying. Just give them listen.
Don't make Brody walk. Okay, that's what I'm saying. With
Brodie and Scary. You crack me up, man, Uh, you
know it is, it is, it is. Um. So last

(01:01:34):
Friday night, man, I've been eating a lot lately. I
went down the Jersey Shore to Asbury Park check out
this Asian fusion spot and um, we talked about this
a little bit on the air actually on Monday. A
lot of things I talked about I end up end
up on the air, but they're meant for this podcast,
but I get to expand on them here, right. Um.
I thought it was fascinating that in the room next

(01:01:56):
door there was like this private room happening with a DJ,
and room was loud and crazy and they would have
like a seventies team party with wigs and I asked
that my friend who on the real political party. Nobody's
getting that joke. Sorry, go ahead, Frank Sinissem said, And
I said, hey, what's going on next store? And like, oh, dude,

(01:02:18):
that's crazy. It's an insane party. It's an annulment party.
An annulment party. A woman was celebrating an annulment, but
a noument from her husband. But it gets better. The
plot twist. The husband was caught with five wives. He

(01:02:39):
had five wives. He had, not nine lives. Is not
a cat five wives. He was caught, They exposed and
uncovered that he had five different relationships with five different
women that he was married to with children. So I'm
sitting here thinking, like, is that something you want to

(01:03:02):
celebrate and admit to? I know you want to celebrate
who divorce? It was? Was he? How stereotyping? Was he
a Mormon? Where that? No? No, no, this was not Mormons?
No no, no, no, I don't know. I don't know, Brodie,
but don't answer. There is no no, Brodie, I'm telling
you that. And what do you one day a week.

(01:03:25):
The reason for the unknown mint was because this was unearthed. Okay,
but with the other five women cool with it, and
then the sixth one wasn't who knows? But how did
you not? I can't. You can't ruggle five wives and
five families. You can't. Maybe too if you're incredible, But
that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. How do you?
But my my larger point is aren't you embarrassed that

(01:03:47):
you were fooled than the wolves pulled over your eyes?
How do you not know what he's never home, that
he's in five of the relationships at the same damn time. Look,
I understand you don't know your spouse is cheating on you.
Times it could happen. Yeah, but they come home and
even if your husband said you your spouse, I should
say your your partner says, oh, I'm working in Europe

(01:04:08):
for a week. I'm working in here for a week.
I travel a lot on business for a week. So
do you just do like one week in Oklahoma and
then go back and travel and do one week with
your family? And like, how do you keep tracking? If
I were the kids and beginning days, if I was
beginning to understand this, I would have to uh say
that he was a traveler by nature, that he travels

(01:04:31):
for business, right, So that's ignored by nature, apparently not
because I hate you. Right, but he's down with he's
down with ol pps's down with. My guess is he's
very oh oh oh p uh. You know. I also
think that he might be extremely wealthy because he may
have to be. You'd have to be support all those wives,

(01:04:52):
unless it was five poor families, because he has to
you have to at least have an apartment, rental or
a house with them. Right. And then further more, different
phone lines for different phone numbers. Right, you got different
five different, five different lines you can't have. What do
you do if you have two kids from two different
wives with the same birthday? How do you handle that

(01:05:13):
daytime birthday party, nighttime birthday party? Dude? I don't know. Okay,
so here's here's my question. Who is that more offensive
to you or me? And I'll say his why you
never want to get married? Right? That for the most part,
right now, your mind is not into getting mad that
your mind is right now, So you I can I
I see you going. You can't fathom one marriage right

(01:05:36):
now in your life, let alone five. However, I'm actually
married with kids. I don't want five times this? You
don't even want this. No, No, I'm happy with this.
What I'm saying is, I know what being married is.
I know what bills are, and college tuition and and

(01:05:57):
driving and feeding and and cleaning up your room. And
if you are an eight figure guy, I got one figure.
I'm not happy with it. If you were an eight
figure guy, then maybe you could find a way to
do it. Or or do you think that these people
turn These women turn their heads and they don't look.
I don't know. Some of them rich where they don't
need the money. I know, I don't know. I know

(01:06:18):
nothing more than this statement I gave you. I gotta
feel like two of them know about each other. I
gotta feel like there's some harmony there where he's like
two of them a secret, but two of them know
each other that they But here's what I don't get.
I understand the sex thing. You want to have sex
in every town you go to, whatever? I get it.
Do you need five different wives to have sex with you?

(01:06:39):
Like okay? If you're having't like okay? Remember was it
Big Lie, Big Liars? Big What was the show Big Love?
Big Love? Yeah, Big Love? So the there was all
polygamists in Utah. Whatever they right, Okay, this guy bought
like three houses connected to each other, so he would
just go for like from one house to the next,

(01:07:00):
like I'm gonna sleep with Mary on Monday and that
family and I'll be next door to other family and uh.
I think there may have been a couple episodes where
two wives were involved. Like if you can get multiple
wives and that's your thing, I get it, right, But
if you've got to travel to to like uh, Montana
to have sex with a different wife and but to
keep this whole lie up, that's a lot of drama

(01:07:21):
for then, like do you tell one woman you don't
want kids, then you have kids with the other woman?
Like yeah, it's crazy. It gets sticky, and then you
end up in the hospital. They're all gonna want to
come see you. If you remember the guy, Remember the guy?
Um everyone knows this story. I would think if you remember,
it was maybe five seven years ago in a Latin
American country, I don't remember which one, doesn't matter where

(01:07:44):
the these miners got trapped in a hole for like
two months. I remember the story specifically where one woman
said that's my boyfriend then there and the other woman
was like no, that's my husband. So and then they
were waiting for him to come up, and there was
this whole drama like, oh my god, when this guy,
this guy really want to be rescued at this point,
but he just want to die. No idea. What was
waiting for you? Right? He had no clue he came up.

(01:08:07):
Who knows how he was tread you can't. You can't
have two women in the same town, Like that's you
shouldn't have two women. I shouldn't cheat on it, you know.
But anyway, if you're gonna do it, do it Like
the guy with the five wives. They had to be
some separation, right, But again, I don't understand is that
something to be proud of you? I mean, I understand
you're trying to do at a moment party, but is
it I would just skulk away. I would just keep

(01:08:27):
it quiet. Yeah, because it's like I was half I
was had times five, so people will be looking at
me like how did you not know? So anyway, I
thought that was kind of funny. That was my Friday
night Brodie. Alright, that was my Frienday, all right, I've
got some some mail, do we And then I want
to talk about my my Chipotle experience and then we'll
get out of here. Talk that change like it's mail time. Welcome,

(01:08:56):
You've got mail. You can always emails at the Brooklyn
Boys Podcast at gmail dot com. All right, we got
a Slice app, grammar police and free dessert. I want
to let you guys know I tried Slice last night.
Loved it. It made it very easy for me to
try a local place I hadn't tried before. Definitely will
use again. Thanks for partnering with partnering with Slice. I

(01:09:18):
don't know what that that. I ever would have heard
of it otherwise I got a screenshot that and send
them to the send that to the people it slice.
Um anyway, grammar police, there's no punctuation on one and
completely wrong word on the other. Um, there's a sign
up at a fast food restaurant in the state of Ohio.
You are required to wear a mask. You will not

(01:09:40):
be served if you do not wear one. We have
the right to refuse service as you have the right
to not wear one. Oh all the dude, all lowercase,
no punctuation, terrible and then a space before the exclamation point.
Why do you know it's the exclamation point is always
attached to the last letter, you don't put a space there.

(01:10:01):
That's terrible anyway, and then finally shout out to webber Grill.
I received a free grill from a rewards program and
it was missing the handle for the lid. Called customer
service and the nicest lady not only sent me a lid,
but sent a free charcoal starter chimney without me even asking.
So I got a free I got some free dessert.

(01:10:22):
Love you guys. Um, alright, cool. So that that's one email.
Then we have har Haas sohall uh oh har Haas writes, Hey,
how y'all doing. I've just started to really listen to
all episodes love that and it's amazing. I've forgotten a
lot of the rants and stories and it's like a

(01:10:42):
brand new episode for me every time. I'm not from Brooklyn,
but listening to you guys, I definitely feel like I'm there.
I'm I've been using all of the Brooklyn is ms
you guys say on the show. Thank you for always
making my day better. You guys are definitely my favorite podcast.
Thank you so much. That's so cool. Also, uh, this
person does not want us to read this their names

(01:11:05):
or Okay, so then why would you send that. Okay,
I love They just want us to see this, and
I'm gonna forward onto you. Alright, So Episode one seventy
three feedback from Fernando Almeida, UH online inline HOGI sub
pork roll Taylor Ham dot dot dot. Who cares? I
hate the saying. I was today years old, but you

(01:11:26):
blew my mind with the wheelbarrow forty eight years I
always thought it was weird wheel barrel. I went on
the throne. I went. I went to the home Depot website.
Searched engine is smart enough. Their search engine is smart
enough to search wheel barrow when you type wheel barrel accidentally.
Thank you for dropping some knowledge on me, Brodie. Have

(01:11:48):
you seen the DC Marvel co exists sign yet? Slice
for Life? Fernando? Alright, I don't. I don't think they
should co exist, but I can't wait to see the sign.
By the way, the Marvel trailer for UH Phase four, Oh,
I teared up like a baby, like a little bit.
No no, I cried like a man who appreciates great movies,

(01:12:15):
great content, and uh it pulls on your heartstrings. It's
such an amazing piece of production. And if you live
the twenty one movies and TV shows and all of
the whole everything of the m c U with Stanley
doing the voiceover from beyond Oh so good, so good,
so good. Do you have anything from tweeter? I do

(01:12:35):
have a couple of I'm not gonna name everybody, I will.
I do want to say, though, that people who used
slice and saved five dollars and sent me pictures of
the pizza they bought. I did put it in my
instant story this week. I hope you guys saw it.
I didn't have a chance to tag every single one
of you. Uh, but I do want to thank all
of the people, all the lovely people who sent me

(01:12:57):
a screenshot from last night's Wheel of Fortune. Yes, I
saw that puzzle. Now you remember a couple of weeks
ago I posted, um, the a t M machine fiasco
on America says right when they when they accepted a
t M as what type of machine? A t M? Yes,
it's a t M. No no. So last night was

(01:13:18):
a crossword puzzle, so it's like, uh, four interconnecting words,
and it was blank number so it was phone number,
even number, wrong number and pin ah. So terribly did
eight people send it to me? Thank you eight people. Um.
I went and looked at the Wheel of Fortune account

(01:13:41):
on Twitter, and I looked at their acts, the people
writing them, oh they got shipped on, Oh they got
they got destroyed, with people saying pen numbers redundant, pen
numbers are done. So shout out to all of the
slices that were quick to pounce on that ship. That
is some bad ship. I do want to I want
to just attack somebody real quick. Who I follow on Instagram.

(01:14:04):
I like them very much, but they were they were
They did a post about the quarantine and how they've
they've been in the house for a long time. Still
it said almost done with this month, locked locked in
my house? What even what even time is it? What
time is it? Even? Yeah? What even time is that?
It would be right? What time is it? What time

(01:14:26):
is it? I don't even you don't need the word even,
but what time is it? That's correct? Right? Even right?
But I see what they were trying to do anyway.
I have a couple of Captain Continental uh scary and
Brody spelled wrong b r O d I E you
Fox you you guys, it's spelled J spelled j A

(01:14:46):
Y Slice for Life and a true Florida fat boy.
So I added some pictures of what I posted on
both of your Instagram pages about of my socks. Here's
the story. Been having a rough week and this made
me smile a bit. So I'm taking a it after
a long day and realize that not only are my
directional socks facing in, they fucking say hashtag this is

(01:15:10):
the way on them l O L. I just thought
i'd ask Brody in this is this irony coincidence or
Atlantis Morris set shitty? By the way. By the way,
I don't give a fuck as you if you use
guys over analyze my grammar, I fucking lower case. I
fucking suck at it and never claim to be good

(01:15:33):
at it. So fuck you. A s seven Love you guys.
Holler at your boy when you're in flawed. Uh that's
f l A W d U h J spelled j
A Y another story entirely. I'll get to I'll I
L L like ill get to that in the next podcast,
like b's rants. Wow, Okay, all right, I'm doing my

(01:15:54):
best to get the rants in. Speaking of Fu A
seventy seven, I want to shout out Nightmarrow three. That's
night m A r oh three from Dundas, Ohio. I
hope it's dune this like done this, done that. She
sent us a picture of herself wearing a Brooklyn Boys
F You Ape seventy seven shirt in front of a
mirror so we could see the back where it says

(01:16:16):
F you A seventy seven. So we love that repping
my guys the Brooklyn Boys on Instagram love that. Um. Okay,
So I want to tell you about what happened to
me with the whole Chipotle experience in the past couple
of weeks. If I might have my music ready scary.
So a couple of weeks ago, I went to Chippotle

(01:16:38):
and I ordered two things from my kids, right, and
one of them I think I mentioned this where I
couldn't get the case of Dilla, the cheese case because
it's online only. Right. Did I talk about the managers
wouldn't give me credit? Yep, I did. Okay, they wouldn't
tell me their names. Okay, So unrelated to that, I

(01:16:59):
go there yesterday to pick up food. I didn't use
the app because I was driving and I was already
close by. Says like, I'll just running and grab food.
I get there. And there's a sign in the window
that says digital only today. Now do you know what
digital only means? To me? It means credit cards only, right,
We're currently all digital. Turns out, digital means you have

(01:17:20):
to use the app. Now, I think maybe a sign
that says that means they're not even taking credit cards.
You've gotta do everything in app. That means you gotta
have your credit card attach to your app, right right, Well,
it would be great if the sign said must order
through app. I mean, that would be the smart thing
to write. But I feel like this is gonna be
a problem. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you. I want

(01:17:40):
to just backtrack for a second. I had a bad experience.
So after that, way, do you not have a bad experience? Well,
I have good experiences sometimes, but this was a bad one.
So I had such a bad experience, I tweeted at Chipotle.
At Chipotle tweets, I said, horrible customer service experience, no
help from a store manager, no customer service phone number

(01:18:02):
to call. They don't have a phone number. So I
tweeted them, and I went to their website and I
filled out a form with what was wrong. I did
both and now I did the website. I'll tell you
about that later. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this up
Chippotle tweets wrote me back immediately and said, sorry to
hear this. Can you please d ms more details so
we can help, And then they put the link to

(01:18:24):
the d M as if I can't figure out how
to d M them. So okay, but here's what I
want to mention before I tell you what happened in Chipotle.
Some guy named fake fake Kenny Cooper. I don't know
Kenny Cooper is I guess fake Kenny Cooper is supposed
to be funny. I don't tweet me. I don't care

(01:18:44):
Kenny Cooper. Well, the real Kenny Cooper please stands, stand up,
so he writes. He writes back to me and Chippotle,
why can't you discuss publicly? Seems you want to control
the narrative? So why is he jumping in on my ship? Right?
Will you bribe? Bribe them for their silence? Here's a
seven dollar gift card, go away. Why do they need

(01:19:07):
to contact you directly? Why can't you just respond openly
and transparently onto here? What are you hiding Chippotle? So
I went and looked at his Twitter. His whole fucking
life is yelling at companies. Sound familiar. I'm familiar. I
was about to say, okay, but that's what he's doing.
He so he So I wrote back to him, and
I said, hey, man, I can fight my own fights,
trust me. Like that's the understatement of the year, by

(01:19:29):
the way. I said, I don't need your help. Do
me a favor. Go find something better to do than
attack companies that I'm attacking right like I'm punching them.
I don't need you to punch them. Okay, So let
me tell you what happened. So I go into I
go into Chipotle to order my food and and they say,
I'm sorry, you have to order on the app because
I didn't know what the sign meant digital onely okay, okay. Now,

(01:19:51):
the way it works is when you order on the app,
they have a long table in the middle of the restaurant,
or they move a couple of tables together, and that's
where they put the bags of food, right, and they
put little signs on the table with letters like on
the left side is A through L, then like M
through whatever. So there's three tables together and and they
break it up by by the name that you are under.
Does that make sense of much? Okay? Now, because they're

(01:20:13):
only doing app orders for whatever reason, they're not using
the big counter. You know, you go up to the
counter and you say, give me some of this, and
you walk along and you go okay, and I had
some cheese, and of course that's why people go in there, right, Well,
they're not using to have that experience. They're not using
the whole counter. They're using the little side to go area.
Do we know why, by the way, I do? I do?

(01:20:36):
After this experience. So there's three people jammed in the
corner putting the orders together on a little six wide,
six ft wide little area with pans of food. Okay,
there's food flying everywhere, and then in front of them
they've blocked off where you can't get to them with
three chairs. The chairs are gonna be important to this story.

(01:20:58):
So I go and I weight and I placed my
I placed the order. I'm waiting like twenty minutes. So
I walk a little forward and I see them at
an angle that these chairs are now loaded with bags
of food that they've put the labels on, they've tagged them.
They're ready to go. To be put on the big

(01:21:19):
table in the middle. There's like twenty five people standing
in the restaurant, so their food is conveniently getting cold. Right,
they are building a wall of bags. They're stacking bags
on bags because they don't want to walk the bags
over until they have a lot of bags to the table.
Why right, I don't know. Maybe because they want to
be like efficient, make one trip. So, Um, I have

(01:21:40):
to go pick my daughter up at school. So I'm looking.
I'm going, I gotta say something. I gotta go over there.
So I walk over and I said, excuse me, there's
a lot of people waiting for the food. I know
you're busy. Um, do you want my help? Can I
bring these bags over to the table for you, because
I'm in a hurry. Nope, we're good. So I said,
all right, well, can I look through them to see

(01:22:01):
if mine is here? No, we can't have be touching
the other bags, please, Okay. So they're building a wall
of Mexican food, of text mex food. I assume Mexico's
paying for the wall at this point because I'm not
getting my food. And so at some point they take
I don't know, fifteen bags of food where the ones
on the bottom have all gotten cold, and they bring

(01:22:21):
them over to the big table. Okay, a feeding frenzy
of shocks swarm the table. I can't get near them,
but they grabbing the bags, spinning the bags. They're all
looking for their names and holding the bag. Right, So
what I do is I step back. I let them
all like go through their bags. Now there's like nine
bags left on the table. My bag is not one

(01:22:42):
of them, of course not right now. It's like twenty
eight minutes when you think the story's over, but it's
ready to begin. Right by the way, pause right there
for a second. Let's analyze this situation they're doing this.
We're in a pandemic, quarantine everything whatever, COVID. Everyone's afraid,
oh COVID. But yet these motherfucker's are sitting there not

(01:23:04):
giving people their food. So fifty people could jam in
their fucking restaurant, all next to each other. What a
bunch of fucking adults, right, all right? Continue now. The
last time they did this, they made you stand outside
and they called you. When you they ask you for
your name, and they told you and you Nope, everybody's
packed in the store now trying to space out right.
Everyone's trying to social distance, so it looks like a

(01:23:24):
checker board of people over the whole store tables. Okay,
so I'm watching them build another wall of food. They're
building another set of bags. I can't take it anymore, right,
So I walk away so I'm not looking, and I
stand by the table. They bring the bags over again, right,
and I'm gonna tell you there's a guy with an

(01:23:45):
orange beanie, like a rolled down hat, like an orange hat.
I'm calling him orange hat guy. He stands on the
other side of the table this long three three tables together,
and decides he doesn't want to walk around, so he
turns every bag around to face him and doesn't turn
them back when they are in his bag. So fuck
you orange hat guy, first of all, So fuck him.

(01:24:08):
So then I turn all the bags back kind of defiantly,
and I see that my food is still not there. Now,
I think I mentioned this previously. Every time I order
from this Chipotle, they forget my fucking chips. I get
out of three bags and chips one bag. They never
put the chips in the bag, And while you continue
to order from the Chipotle, I'll never understand every time
but they fund you when I'm it's not even close,

(01:24:28):
but it's the closest one of my house. Okay. So
I'm watching them make the food, and his food flying
everywhere because they're jammed into this little counter. The girl
in the middle has like little like a little um.
She's done her hair up in little like uh it
looks like macaroni. Right, it's all like very little tight

(01:24:49):
little spirals, right, okay, and so uh she must have
gotten rice in her hair, and she shakes off like
a wet dog, like when a dog comes out of
the pool, right, And and I see like rice flying
out of her hair. It was just awful, just awfulness.
Luckily I didn't see the food fly towards the food.

(01:25:09):
At this point, I'm praying that my bag is part
of the wall, the chair wall of food, which at
this point it was. So I get to food, I
get my bag, and I run out of the store.
I just I'm late, right, So I go to my
car and I get in my car, and you're on
the phone with me at this point. That is right,
This is where I pick up the story, and I
know exactly what happens next. Okay, you're already he's right,

(01:25:39):
and so Scary calls me right as I'm leaving. I'm like,
Sky just can find what goes? What are you doing, Brody?
I go, I'm getting material for the podcast. I go,
because you don't. You will not believe what's going on here.
You'll not believe what's going on here with this, with
this whole system here. Okay. So I go out to
my car and uh, my door is open. I'm sitting
on the front seat. I'm putting the bag on a

(01:26:00):
seat and to tea. I got that teenagers maybe are
in the car next to me, and their windows open.
They said excuse me, and there the masks. Their masks
were down and they should be there in their car.
So I could see this huge smile on their faces.
They go, I'm sorry to bother you. Do you have
a second hi? And they're all giddy. So I'm talking
to Scary. So I'm thinking, I go, Scary. I'm thinking

(01:26:22):
they obviously they recognize talking to Scary on the phone.
Maybe I said Scary and they recognized me saying Scary. Right,
So you're about to get out of your car for
a little photo of yeah, So um, I got the
mask on right and Uh. I like how they recognized
me that my I guess my voice, and I might
by the way, you're in your car, you could take
your mask off, Bertie. At that point I can't. I'm

(01:26:44):
taking the mask off yet because I was putting the
food down right, okay, So, uh, I'm looking at them
and they I said, Hi, can I help you? They go,
are you on the phone? We're so sorry to bother you,
and they have these big smiles on their face. I'm
thinking to myself, I gotta be nice to these people
as I always would be. Two people. I said, they
must be fans. I said, II, what can I do

(01:27:05):
for you? She says, um, we're big fans of And
I go, oh, yeah, here it comes. She goes of
your car? Why what? She says, Well, I know this
is the girl in the car saying it and and
girls could like cars, she says, we love Dodge chargers.
Can you start the car up so we can hear
it make that great noise? What now where my car starts,

(01:27:29):
it kind of goes. It makes like a muscle cart.
So I said, you for real? Yeah, and talking like yeah,
can you can you start the car? So I'm thinking,
what an ass I think. I'm like, they recognized me,
and they're like, we're big fans of the Dodgs car.
Your car is famous. Yeah. They got out and they
took video of it, right, and so so went, don't

(01:27:50):
jump ahead. So I started the car and you're like, yeah,
you know, I'm copping for the car. I say, you
guys for real? Yeah yeah, yeah, that was so excited.
I said, well, you're very welcome. So I opened the
bag of food to check it to see if the
chips are in there. There's no chips. So Scary starts
laughing at me, going, oh, no, here it comes. He's

(01:28:10):
going back in. I got scared, coughing me. I'm going
back in. I was witnessing this live. So I go
back in and I got I got now I go,
I said, stuck to walk to the counter and they go,
excuse me, diggital lonely. I go, already ordered, you messed
up my chips. There's no chips. So she goes, oh,
here are your chips and like drop some on the counter, like,
take your fucking chips. I was polite, like I didn't

(01:28:32):
getting chips. So she gives me chips. So I leave.
I go home. I get back. So I get back
in the car and I said, hey, I had to
go back in. They messed up my order. I'm gonna
start the car again. And they're like, oh my god, yeah,
hey this because it's still there. So I said, hey,
I'll tell you what. I'll wait for you. Why don't
you go to the back of my car and you
could film it so you have the sound, which I
guess you can get on the internet. Just suck suck

(01:28:54):
my tail pipe. The car goes. She goes. He goes,
for real, we can we can film you car. I'm like, yeah,
I just don't film my license plate. That'd be fine.
Go film the tail pipes. Oh man. He chumps out
of the car with his phone and she gets out
of the car. They get two angles. I'm like, this
is unbelievable. I go alright, three two, one ready, and
I started. The car goes and they're like they're they're

(01:29:17):
jumping up and down the camp but it's the greatest
thing have happened to them. So they weren't excited to
see me. They were excited for the car. Okay. So
I get home. I dropped the food off and I
run back out because yesterday I couldn't do the podcast.
Why I had to go get a haircut, I go
pick up dinner. I had things to do for the
rest of my family and for me. Okay, let the

(01:29:37):
record show that you were busy to yesterday. Okay, it
wasn't just me, Thank you. Continue No, no no, no no,
I wasn't busy at six o'clock. Wasn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I didn't have plans at night. In a day, I
wasn't available for four of them. You weren't available for
twelve hands thinking we were podcasting. Fuck you? All right?

(01:29:58):
So I go and I take my I picked a
door up at school. Hector tries to kill me. I
go and I take it to school and run some errands,
and my daughter calls me. She says, I just got
home from school. Uh, they fucked up the Chipotle order.
She didn't say that shed they messed it up. What
do you mean? So my daughter is like me. She
wanted chicken and cheese. That's it plane on the app.

(01:30:22):
I owed a chicken and cheese on the receipt. It's
his chicken and cheese. When she opened up the taco bowl,
it was chicken and cheese and salur cream and salsa
and corn and beans. They put want to fucking everything
pretty much. So I'm like, oh, you gotta be kidding me.
So I tweeted them that they funked up my order,
they fucked up the custom service experience completely. And then

(01:30:45):
I went through the website. I'm so I went through
the website first, right, and the and the website. You
feel like you can't call them? She fell out a website.
What happened? What store? Tell us about your experience? Okay,
So I do that and it says, due to the COVID,
it may take a few days to get back to you.
You know, the pandemic, right, and take a few days.
I go, I'm so angry. I can't wait a few days.
So I tweet them, which I already told you about.

(01:31:07):
The I DM them, which already told you about. And
I wrote them a d M. They immediately wrote back
to me and said someone will be in touch. Scary.
Within ten minutes, the head of one of their departments
calls me, um, unbelievably nice woman. She says, you get
the corporate types. They're all like wine and roses. She says,

(01:31:30):
I read your experience. Can you can you elaborate on
blah blah blah and blah blah. I said, yep, because
they want. And I said, and the last time I
was there, the managers wouldn't tell me their name. She was,
that's not our policy. If you have a store credit,
they have to give you the credit. So I said, well,
they didn't give me the credit. They said I had
to remember their names. She was, that's not our policy.
That's what I said. So she laughed her ass off,
and she was laughing the whole time, was making her laugh.

(01:31:51):
How much did she give you, Brodie? Hold on? Hold on?
Hold on? How much? Pish hold on? She works in
southeast Ohio from California. We started talking about customer service,
running restaurants, politics, you name it. I spoke to her
yesterday for an hour and twenty minutes. God bless you.
You're speaking to thank you. Then she says, so, why

(01:32:13):
how are you famous? What she says, customs? She's the
Twitter people told her I've got close to sixty followers
and I'm verified, So I had to tell her where.
I was like, oh, I you know I'm in right. Anyway.
The point is I had a conversation with over an
hour couldn't have been nicer. Raina Raina from Chippotle amazing,
She says, did you see the email that the website
people sent you? No? I didn't. I got back to

(01:32:36):
you immediately, even before I called you. She said, Just
so you know, we've already credited back your food for today.
We'd like to apologize and we're giving you a credit
for seven free meals. Oh look at you, Brodie, which
is close to a hundred dollars. That's got Gods. So
I got my free dessert. But fuck you Chippotle where

(01:32:56):
I live. Fuck you orange at Guy. Love the people
who love my car allows little this point. It wasn't me.
They're liked and and thank you customer service. I will
still trade my day over your day the day you had.
I am. I'm off. I'm off that team. I don't
want seven free meals. I don't want to go through

(01:33:17):
the riggall and the hours of bullshit and stress that
I threw. It ended well, it ended well, but you
had to go through fiery hoops to actually get there.
I did. But you know what, she said. You have
my number. Now call me anytime you want to just chat.
If you have any problems, just give me a call.
That's that's the vice president. I don't want to say that.

(01:33:38):
I love it. I love that. That's great, great time.
But when I told her about the girl who shook
her head like a wet like a wet puppy or whatever,
laughed her ass off and she's like, oh my god,
that's terrible. She should not be doing that. I will
trade story. I will trade that for Sinco the drinko,
hanging out with my friends party and hanging out eating tacos,
and I'm relaxing all night every night over that experience.

(01:34:01):
I'm sorry right now, You're right, you win. That's what
makes that, what makes that's what makes you you and
what makes me me well at this point, have one
dilemma left in my life, scary what's that whether or
not to jump in my hot tup or my pool tonight.
Suck it buck you. Yeah, I'm gonna come into your
pool unknowingly. I hope not. Anyway. Slices don't forget to you.
Slice gets you five dollars off using Hey Woods, look

(01:34:24):
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David Brody

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