#179: You Can't Say THAT To A Woman!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Free pizza for a year. How does that sound? That
sounds fantastic and even better, it's from us, the Brooklyn
Boys Podcast and our friends at Slice. We're gonna tell
you all about how to get a free year pizza
sometime later in the podcast. In the meantime, download Slice,
order from your local pizzeria, get five dollars off using
code Brooklyn, and let's get the show on the road.

(00:21):
Start af data, Star Up Brooklyn Boy, Start up Brooklyn
Buy Data. They making noise data Episode one seventy nine
of The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. We Are So Closed, Episode
one eight. I can taste it. And when you taste it,

(00:44):
what would episode one eighty taste like? Sausage pizza? I'm
going for a little meat ball. I feel like you
have a little sausage. You don't know what I'm saying.
I can go. How about a sausage and two meatballs?
There you go? You know why I'm thinking of sausage pizza.
I was driving. I was driving a couple of days
ago at my friend Jeff, and we were in a

(01:07):
neighborhood not not near our house. We were we're on
a mission, right, We're going shopping, and we passed a
pizza place that I went to about a year and
a half ago. I had I was starving one day
and UH went in and I was like, oh what
I just looked at you know what they had? The
pizza had ready, and they had sausage pizza. No, not
a lot of places have sausage pizza. When you go in,
like the stuff that's ready, they'll do like the big

(01:29):
ziti pizza, the pepperoni, some vegetables, but a classic thinly sliced,
sliced sausage. Not the bag of crumbles crumbled sausage pizza. Okay,
if it's legit sausage. When they took the skin off
the sausage, they squeeze it out of the casing and
they crumble it on your pizza. I love it like that. Well, listen,

(01:51):
when I worked for Red Robin, okay and we am
home Home Red Robin. And when I worked for Chuck
E Cheese, Chuck E Cheese is excuse me, um. It
was a sack of sausage like a little sausage balls
and another bag of little meatball ball No, no, no no,
and you would sprinkle them on because it was speed

(02:11):
and fast or whatever. No, I'm not talking. I'm talking
about you know, they took the sausage and they sliced
it at an angle, at an angle the link right,
so you got you got actually maximum circles, like that's
little circles. That's that's amateur hour. The maximum surface area
for the angle. The angle cut of the sausage covers
more pizza. That way, a smart business owner would spend

(02:33):
the extra couple of minutes and slice it at an angle. Anyway,
So I didn't go in. We would drive and I'm like, oh,
there's that place with the great sausage pizza someone and
I was like, I said, you're hungry man, not really,
So we didn't go. So now like five days, now,
four days, whatever it is, I've been thinking about sausage pizza.
But I have to go to that place now because
I have to find my favorite sausage pizza. Was a
place in Long Island. Everybody has that favorite something, right,

(02:55):
you have like, oh, this is my favorite a Silian,
this is my favorite round, my favorite sausage pizza. If
you're in the New York area, if you're from Long Island,
there was a place called um Alfredo's in Westberry, Long Island,
just an average pizza place on on a on a
main street, and I would drive an hour and a
half sometimes just to get the pizza from there. And

(03:16):
it was the kind of place. If somebody knew you
going to Long Island, they go bring back a sausage pizza.
I go to Alfredo. I'm sorry. When I go to
Long Island, I usually go to Embertos or King Ambertos
or Albertos in New Hyde Park. They do they do
the perfect Grandma slice. Actually all the Embertos do out there.
But people know, if you're from Long Island, you know,
if you know, you know, I y what is it?

(03:36):
I y k, y k. Everyone's writing it on Instagram
now if you know you know. But yeah, and by
the way, Alfredo's closed a few years ago. Broke my heart.
Broke my heart, Donzo. You know some people would would
compare the the shredded sausage all over the pizza to
like shaved ice. I don't want shaved ice in my
you know, like the shaved ice in my soda that

(03:58):
old school pizza reas used to do that. It's like
a cup of water with a little bit to make
fun of me, you want more soda. The shaved ice
is great because it's great for the owner because it
fills up the cup that it melts immediately and you've
got water or if you prefer in the Philly area
waterd Worder. I watched Mayor of Eastwick and they have

(04:21):
they say down with the lexicon. Well, it's the Delco accent,
which is the Delaware County accent, which is where that
whole region, the Baltimore, Delaware Philiplins are the people that
call it Rees's. Well in Pennsylvania, a lot of Pennsylvania,
not just that area. Like Nate from our show, he's
from Eerie, which is western Pennsylvania. You know, I would say,

(04:41):
and he says it. So who's to say, who's weird?
Because her, she's her. She's although not the original creator
of Reese's Pieces, the owner now of Reese's Pieces located
in Pennsylvania. You think the marketing campaign would reach the locals,
you would think, but it doesn't. Anyway, what are you
gonna I got a call from my friend Frank. Today
is a beautiful sunny day here in the Northeast when

(05:02):
we're recording this podcast, it is eighty degrees. It's a
perfect beach day. My friend Frank calls me earlier and
he's like, so, and this is a conundrum or Brodie
or I don't know what what would what would? What
would you do? I'll tell you what. Yet he's like, hey, so,
so there's this. There's a group of girls hanging out

(05:23):
on them these chairs next to him, and he says,
one of the girls got up and started walking and
she had a string hanging from out of her bottom
of her bikini. Should I tell it? And I'm like no, no, no,
I said, as much of a good sumarian as you
want to be. The fact of you you approaching her

(05:45):
saying hey, you got a string hanging out from the
bottom would be mean that you're staring at her bottom.
So you shouldn't be looking at general direction anyway. So
how would you have noticed? It's it's a bad it's
a bad problem. It's it's it is not a good thing.
You can't solve it. Uh, you know? I said, maybe
tell a woman that you're with and maybe she can

(06:06):
go up because girls, girls will do that for each other.
You can't win because it's like if somebody tells you,
if you guys, see, if a woman tells you a
man his fly is open for you know, you're embarrassed.
For a second, We're like, hey, I'm glad you noticed.
You know, I'm I'm I'm generalizing obviously, but no, that's
a that's a feminine product. That's embarrassing. That's I you know,

(06:28):
I would want to tell Listen, I told the story
about the woman with the with the stockings right in
the garage. Remember that story. Yes, for those of you
that that are new to the podcast, if you listen
in order, you know, but if you new to the podcast,
welcome aboard. The shorthand version of that was, I was
walking up the hill where I park our, where we
park our cars we go to work. There's a ramp
to get out, and so if you're at the bottom

(06:49):
of the hill walking up, your eyes are at a
different level of a person who's walking up maybe ten
feet in front of you. Right, So the woman in
front of me, very put together, business professional woman in
a business jack get and and skirt. I was wearing
black stockings and she was walking up the ramp. Now
my eye level was at her leg level because I
was low rose. You were looking straight ahead, but which

(07:10):
is what we're told to do. Look straight ahead, right,
I'm gonna look down when I'm walking. I was looking
straight ahead. I wasn't checking her out, And I said, now,
she had just got out of her car, so I
didn't know if she realized that the entire length of
her um stockings were ripped from like the back of
her thigh down or a calf muscle. So I said,
excuse me. She turned arouse. Yes, I don't know if

(07:30):
you know this, but your your stockings are ripped and uh,
I'm trying to remember the exact phrasing, but she snapped
at me and said, oh great, thanks, like I don't
already know, thanks for ruining my day or something like that,
which is there's something obnoxious. And I was like, I
just I was just because I um okay, and that's
not even an area that's off limits. You're looking at

(07:52):
her ankles. Imagine, imagine like we were amish. I couldn't
look at ankles. Well, what about the time that I
was in a bar and the the girl had whale
tail or the Texas longhorns where she had her the
top of her thong, uh, you know, sneaking out of
the top. You know that remind everybody what happened when
you tried to be a good guy. I got, I got,
I got stank face, I got like I ignored. But

(08:13):
why were you so close? I was walking by. It
was Listen, you're sitting on a bar stool with no back.
You know what I'm saying, because it's peeking out from
the top of the jeans. You want to tell someone,
I don't know. I didn't tell her. I didn't tell her.
I did not. I backed down, but not did I
I forgot If I did or not? What? Whatever the case,

(08:34):
The point is, I told my friend Frank, ignore it, ignore, ignore,
just just mind your own business. Because you obviously he's
wearing sunglasses, and when you know when you were, When
guys wear sunglasses, especially the dark shaded ones where you
can't see your eyes, you're up to no good. If
you can't see right balls, I mean, because you pret
windows on your car, you're illegal because the police can't

(08:55):
see it. Because you're looking out, especially you know you're walking.
You could be king to the right. You know, your
face could be to the right, but you're looking. You're
looking left, and you're looking you're wearing dog glasses to
a beach. You're you're a snooper. But but most people do. Though, Brodie, no,
you were tinted. You don't wear black glasses like you
have cataracts. A lot of a lot of glasses on

(09:16):
the market though, a lot of a lot of sunglasses
blackout most of your eyes. You can't see where your
eyes are looking. You can't see it. So anyway, so
he's wearing these sunglasses, so he gets away with murder.
He's looking at everything, right. Well, here's another movie is
sucking searching for cattle though, So so let's let's say
this girl's on the beach right, right, she's on the
blanket like ten feet in front of him. Let's just say,

(09:37):
and she's got the string hanging down right, she's the puppet.
She had the strings, right, puppet string. I'm sorry, I'm
doing beastie boys. Yeah, no, I figured. And let's say
the boyfriend, right, you notice the boyfriend with her. He's
got a hatter abating suit, you recognize, right, And then
you go up to like the concession stand, like on

(09:57):
the boardwalk, and you see him and you're like, wait
a minute, I have an idea. I'm gonna tell him,
because he could get away with telling her. He should know, right,
he'd he'd want to know, what do you think would
happen if you told the guy, Hey, man, I just
want to let you know your girlfriend has a string
hanging out of uha? Would he be appreciat everyone? No? Right,

(10:18):
it's a lose lose the whole way. You can't win
that situation. The only way. The only thing I told
him before I got off the phone was the only
thing you could do is if you're with somebody, which
she was not with anybody. He's not with a woman.
If you're with a woman, you could tell the woman
and maybe she can go up. You know girl, you
know girl's girl code whatever. Like you by the way,
you know you're not a string that then it's okay,

(10:40):
But you know what's gonna happen? She go up and
go excuse me, I didn't embarrass you. But my friend
Frankie has he's really fun right because now he told
someone else about it. But do not do the direct
approach and point the same point down like, uh, down
there something? Okay? What if you would if you like
you what your friend you have a conversation? Holy crap,

(11:03):
I was. I was at the beach with my girlfriend
last week and she had a string hangover bikini from
her tampon, and I didn't notice it, and then nobody
wanted to tell her. It was so bad and she's
got mad at me for not telling her, and I
didn't look. I think you got like you have a
whole conversation about it loudly so that she'd go, wow,
I can't imagine if oh shit, it's happening to me,
Like maybe she'd look. By the way, how many people

(11:24):
just all the way into this podcast because were the
first time the word tamp beach right now listening to
this podcast, But I'm saying, how many people didn't know
we were talking about until just now. I just realized that.
I'm like, I never said the word tampon, and until
now people like, so, what's the big deal, She's got
a string hanging, so it's audiences is aware, I know,

(11:45):
but I should have set it up. I should have said, right,
you said it up. People knew you were trying to
be a classy, which I was trying to be classy
about it. But now it makes sense now I just
got you never know what people don't You never know
what people don't know, though you're right. I mean, you
cannot assume Brodie. Well, I'm not gonna say what, but
if you listen to What's Today's date, if you listen
to today's Elvis Durrand fifteen minute morning show, you will

(12:07):
learn what Garrett didn't know. And I was surprised he
didn't know it. Right, a married man with kids. It
kind of has to do a tie. It's a tie
in with the string, no pun intended. That's what reminded
me of it. So I'm not faulting him for not
knowing it. I was just surprised he didn't know it,
and I would take a listen to the podcast and

(12:27):
let us we're not gonna go there. We're not trying
to We're really going down. No, I'm not. You know,
I'm saying. I'm saying, you're right. You never know what
people don't know, right that. The top line takeaway is, well,
I'll give you like Frank, Frank Sens and mar right,
you know I don't know. You should have known that
we do. Yes, thank you, Thank you your Bible lessons

(12:49):
from me the Jew. So today I was today years old.
No today, By the way, if you don't know what
we're talking about, what frank back like six episodes. Okay,
So seeing speaking of what people don't know, I was
I'm in a group chat on Facebook with some some
friends from school, so they've been friends with me a
long time. And somebody puts something somber in the in

(13:12):
the chat message, and another one of my friends put
a thumbs up and then put another message saying, oh
my god, I didn't mean to put a thumbs up,
so sorry. So I said, it's funny, but why don't
you just delete the thumbs up? I don't know how
to delete the thumbs up, so I had to say, well,
you long pressed the message, you get options at the bottom,
and you choose either you know, remove, removed just for you.

(13:36):
You know, it depends on whether or not it was
seen by anybody, but but the options. My point was,
this is someone who's I know, it's been on Facebook
for at least ten twelve years at least, and didn't
know that. So I'm just you know, you never know
what people don't know? Is really our our point? Yes, correct,
We have millions of examples of that. Can I give
another one? This one, this one I found to be

(13:56):
I almost I almost screamed at the woman out of like,
you gotta be kidding me. So I was. I was
in Walmart on Sunday doing a couple of returns and
picking up some uh some discount cheap pool floats because
my kids having some friends over at the pool. Did
you get the unicorn? Did not get the unicorn? About

(14:16):
the pink flamingo not? I think. No, Listen, I have
We've had three giant swans and they don't fit in
the big bin I have outside for the floats, And
so I tell the kids, you gotta bring the swan
in after you go swimming and put it in the garage.
They never do. So what happens by the end of
June their mildewed. Then it's like, oh, that can you

(14:37):
buy another like seventy dollar swan? No, I cannot. But
the swan is the centerpiece of every pool, right. And
so this year my daughter, my my middle daughter, says
to me, Hey, for my birthday, I would really like
the new line of Barbie floats. There's a car, there's
a plane. Would yeah, Well, you have to have a

(14:59):
dream house to be able to afford it. So I
look it up on Amazon, and by the way, it's
the same price everywhere. It's one of those fixed prices
like apple products, and uh, it's a hundred dollars. So
I kindly said to my wife, we're not getting her that,
but wait, it's a birthday present though. Nope, because my
wife and I both knew that in a matter of
two weeks it would be outside and mildewed and the

(15:20):
squirrels would get it. And so that's not We're not
getting that. So we gotta something else in which she
preferred and it's not ruined now, so it's fine, all right.
So I'm in Walmart and I had to do some
return some of the return counter. What else is? That's
not a thing? Who does I don't know what that means.

(15:40):
I never go to the return counter. I don't think
I've returned much of my love here. So if you
buy something wrong, you just keep it. Pretty much, I'm
stuck with it. If you buy a shirt that doesn't fit,
you just keep it. I think I've returned five things
in my life. So anyway, So the woman wanted to
buy something returned something at the same time, and I
was behind her. You're taken up a lot of time,
So the woman says, um, put your credit card in

(16:03):
and the chips not working. She swiped the credit card,
it's not working. So so um, she was buying like
like a hundred dollars worth of stuff in addition to
the one or two things she was returning. And so
the woman says, let me let me see your card.
I'll I'll swipe it for you. So she gives the
woman the card and she says, oh, you didn't sign
the back of your card. What the hell does that

(16:24):
have to do with the chip or the s She
was letting her know she didn't sign the back of
the card. So the woman says, oh, I never signed
the back of my card. So the woman says the
cashier says, why not? So she says, well, because if
somebody finds my credit card, they could forge my signature
on things. So so I I so, I said, excuse me,

(16:45):
because I used to work in retail this all the time.
I said, you know, if you don't put your signature
on the card, and if somebody finds it, they can
put their signature on the card and they don't have
to forge anything the signatures there. Like that was the
reason she didn't want someone to have her signature. So
she doesn't sign the card. She said, if someone said
someone because you know, said if the chip doesn't work,
I might use the card, and then if they want

(17:06):
me to sign it, they would match the signature. And
I don't want someone who steals my card to be
able to match the signature. I said, so that, but
you know what I'm saying, you could just put then
if you it's blank, then the criminal can just write
their signature on the card. Then of course it's gonna match.
Do you see what I'm saying. So you're at it's
an extra layer of protection, albeit a very dated one.

(17:27):
I don't know if they use it anymore the way
you're saying, maybe years ago. If you go to a plan,
if you go to like, let's say, like the neighborhood
Chinese restaurant, they I've been to places where they checked
the signature. Really yeah, because they don't have a chip.
They've got the old school, uh you know, you know,
and plus plus the Chinese restaurant near me a couple

(17:47):
of years ago, the machine went down. They have to
use the hand crank thing, you know, when you put
like the right right across right check. They would check
in the signatures. I remember that back then I'm just
saying it's not common. But my point was her logic was,
you know what, anyone have her signature? Her logic was off.

(18:10):
But I will say this, I've never signed any of
my credit cards out of sure laziness. UM, and I've
never gotten stopped. Nobody's ever said, hey man, you didn't
sign the credit card. Thank you? Uh, you know what.
I'm just saying. I was surprised, but that was good.
I didn't love the album, but it was a good song.

(18:31):
That's why they say, hey man, nice shot. Now I've
had UM. I had a too, had two major problems
with credit cards this week. Would you like me to
just continue the credit card trend? Yeah, let's go. Okay,
so UM on one of my cards, there was allegedly
they thought there was a fraudulent purchase. I made a

(18:53):
large purchase a little larger than normal, not like crazy,
it was just a little bigger purchase. So they locked
my account to right. So I call and I'm like, well,
I got to see if there's a charge on my card, right,
And so I go to check my balance and I
can't check my balance. It won't check my balance. So
I put in my card number and I get a

(19:14):
rep in the fraud department, and I said, listen on me.
I verified the whole thing. I said, listen, um my balance,
I'm gonna make up a number for the sake of
this conversation. I said, my balance on the last bill
I got two weeks ago. That's due today, right, My
bill was due a couple of days ago. I made
the call. I said it was due that day. Um,
my bill was SI okay, But I've made I've made

(19:38):
purchases in the last couple of weeks. So can you
tell me what my balance is? Yeah, I can't access
your account. Well, can you tell me how much money
is do today? It's due today, I have to make
a payment. How much you do today? He says forty
dollars and I said no, no, that's the minimum payment.

(19:59):
What's my balance? I don't have access to that. I said, well,
how much do I owe? Do I owe the six
hundred or do I was six hundred plus? This is,
by the way, this is after we verified there with
no fraudulent purchases. I said, well, what's the balance? Because
while I have you on the phone, I'd like to
pay the balance off. And I don't know if my
current purchases that I made three weeks ago my factory

(20:19):
and you just tell him because you balance is forty dollars,
it's not forty so so and again, obviously I'm talking
to somebody from another part of the world. I'm not
gonna kno, going to do the accent. I said, can
you do me favor? Can you? Can you now that
we've we figured out that my card is going to
be activated, right? Um? So he says, well, I have

(20:40):
to send you a new card because this one we
locked it. We locked the card out. That's why I
couldn't check the balance. I said, all right, well, listen,
I need to know what the balance is. Can you
transfer me to the regular department, right, the non fraud department,
so that they can tell me the balance? Yeah, I
could do that. Yeah, no problem. Okay, So he transferred
to the regular department, and I the guy who sounds

(21:02):
like the guy I just spoke to, Like, I feel
like it's the same guy phone tapping me. I was
just gonna say that it like sounds like keep being
phone tapped. Right, So it was like, Hi, can I
help you? And Hi can I help you? Right? I
was like, listen, hello, but it was like, you know,
he said that this is Andrew, and I was like,
you're not Andrew. Okay, So the second guy, I tell
him what's going on? I said, can you just tell

(21:23):
me do I owe the balance that was on the
bill from from you know that I got three weeks ago?
What's my new balance? Just tell what the balances? I
just want to know the balance. Dude, it's not forty
dollars that's the minimum payment. What do I Just tell
me what I owe? That's what I said. I go
tell me what I owe? You forty dollars? No, I oh,

(21:44):
I'm sure like six D plus a couple of big purchases.
What do I owe forty dollars? I said, stop saying
forty dollars? Please? Please just get someone on the phone.
Please tell me what how much money I owe? Today?
He said is Oh, you don't about to say forty dollars,
then I guess I just won't tell you anything. Oh

(22:06):
my god. Wow. Right. But he said it like if American,
you're an asshole. But he sounded like he was from
somewhere else and he's learned how to be a dicky American.
Like he sounded like what I would have sounded like
had I been in customer service. He said, I guess
I just won't tell you anything and something like that,
and I'm like, what he said, Now, what do you

(22:29):
want me? What can I do for you? I saw,
I hung up, I said, I called it. I said
something nasty and I hung up, hung up like like
twenty minutes before that, and started over again. Because you
got you got a bad egg, right, so I called I.
Now that two people tell me my I owe forty dollars.
So I called back and I get the regular I
get the fraud department again, because because my card when

(22:49):
I enter your card number goes where I did a
fraud department, I don't have my new number yet, right,
So I get the fraud department again. I get a
guy named James. Here's what James sounds like. Hi, it's James,
just like that, just like that. Hi, it's James in
the fraud department. My numbers like two, five, seven, nine
before one. How can I help you? So I tell
James the story. He says, oh you, oh blah blah
blah blah blah. Well why couldn't HI there the two guys?

(23:14):
I don't, right, I don't know. He's I don't know.
I said. I was on the phone forty five minutes
trying to get them and tell me how much I owed.
They told me because it's put into fraud, they're not
allowed to tell me my what why? Oh they kept
saying forty dollars. He says, forty dollars you've been in
a payment. Yes, that's what I was trying to tell
those two guys. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. So I want

(23:34):
to say fuck you two not from here, not from
here too, And thank you to James, who, by the way,
may not be from here, but he had a damn
good impression of someone from here. And I don't mean
my basement. I mean he just sounded like you knew
what he's talking about. So I'm not saying that people
who are not from here. Uh, I don't know what
they're talking about. Two guys I spoke to and now, listen,

(23:55):
people in America have all different accents. They could have
been from here. It could have just assuming by the
lack of not edge on what a minimum balance is,
they're not from here. I think it's time to tell
everybody how to win free pizza, because they you know,
this has been a cliffhanger since the beginning of the way.
Well you know what, Yes, I'm excited about that. This
is crazy, This is lost contest, This is our contest.

(24:17):
Is are the Brooklyn Boys having a contest? Okay? So
a couple of would be more excited, right, Okay, So
a few weeks ago, five weeks ago, four weeks ago,
you know, we started working with Slice with perfect fit slices,
you know what we're saying. And then we told you
about if you download the app, you get five dollars
off your first purchase, right okay, And then we told

(24:38):
you downloaded on as many phones, tell everybody you know,
because you keep getting you five dollars, right, Okay. Well,
we went to Slice and we're like, listen, we we
feel like when we should try to get something for
the people already had the app, what can we do?
So we put our heads together and we came up
with this idea, Thank you Slice Pizza. Yes, some one

(25:00):
of our slices is gonna walk away with free pizza
for a year because obviously we love pizza. You love pizza,
and winning free pizza it's probably like one of the
most ultimate prizes for a Slice for Life like you guys,
and just the pizza amount will go right into your
Slice app and you can just shut You could just
spend like you're rich. You might eat your way through
the credit in a week. Well, you don't have to

(25:24):
roll you out of here. I mean you may not
be able to resist because they're just gonna You're gonna
be just spending money. So this contest is live until
next week's On the next week's episode one eight, we're
gonna announce the winner. We are it's out of contest.
Here's how you do it. You have to go to
this special website that we've created, the Brooklyn Boys Free
Pizza dot Com. That's the Brooklyn Boys Free Pizza dot Com.

(25:49):
Don't don't put the word that's before that. That's brody
thing you They know that anyway, emptier information. But here's
the catch. If you enter, you get an entry into
the contest. Correct. However, that's like one raffle ticket. There's
a download link there and if you download the app,
if you download Slice, you get fifty entries into the contest.

(26:10):
It's like stuff in the ballot box. This contest is
available only to our slices, the people that are listening
to this episode right now. So you have anybody, you
don't tell anybody listen. It's like your fine, tell everybody,
but you know, but but if this isn't keep it,
keep it in the family kind of Down's like people
that you like, don't be telling people you don't like.

(26:33):
People don't get where the pizza with you? If that's
what was saying, that's what I meant. Tell the people
that you want to set pizza with Okay, And the
special website again is the Brooklyn Boys Free Pizza dot com.
And then while you're there, there's a link download the
app fifty more entries and we remember we love them
because they support local. It's the largest network of local

(26:55):
pizza rereas around the country. Five dollars off of your
first order to using code Brooklyn and their website. Of
course Slice life dot com and Roy. I'm still recovering
from the excitement at first. This is our first major contest.
It is this is aside from the one that I

(27:16):
tried to do privately, uh several episodes back where I
where where I said the words don't occur and I said,
who's what famous nineties character said that in a cartoon
and nobody got it. Yeah, and what we're gonna give
away if they got it? A year's worth of pizza. No,
it was a free it was a Brooklyn Boys merch. Yeah,

(27:37):
I nobody, nobody wants to know the answer. We'll screw it.
It's forgotten. Well who does I don't even. I don't
know who it is, and I don't know if I care.
I'm gonna keep it. Don't incur, I don't curt, I don't,
I can't, don't cur alright, all it doesn't matter. So
you you, you took issue with something that happened yesterday,
so much so that you had to expose it to

(27:59):
the entire morning show today. Say you, guys, look at
this video. I can't believe. I can't. Okay, Well, so
you you went to another party. I wasn't invited to
one another one? Right, You went to two big parties
in the past week that I wasn't invited to. Now, Look,
I like Amy Freeze a lot, but I'm not on
like birthday party level. The thing about Amy Freeze is,

(28:20):
first of all, if you don't know who she is,
she's I was gonna say, I was gonna say, you
got she's a local weather person. She's on ABC seven
in New York, and she's sometimes she makes sure we're
on Good Morning America. But the great thing about Amy
Freeze is she's into the meteorology and her last name,
her last name in real life, really is Freeze that
she was born with on our birth certificate. Yeah. So,

(28:44):
so I went to her party last night. Right now, Look,
we are in our area. We have lifted restrictions and
we are basically masked free in most situations. We're back
too close to normal. Maybe nice to me. I'm saying
like this, certain businesses still require masks. There's still there's

(29:07):
still some you know whatever. Anyway, so Scary was at
a party right having a great time. Put it up
on his story follow him at Scary Jones s k
e er y and uh, I'm watching Amy with the
They bring out the birthday cake and Scariest filming it.
Of course, gotta capture the big moment, and she lets
out a big she wasn't spitballing sliva. Okay, I couldn't

(29:33):
hear it because the music was playing, you know, it's
in the background, but visually because I was doing audio podcast.
He's Scary visually, it looked like she was doing the
lawnmower onto the pizza. The problem, the problems, okay, way exaggerated.

(29:53):
The issue with this is you are we are so
we we have been browbeating so badly, and we are
so not used to seeing that anymore because of the
pandemic that them. But the normal act of blowing out
candles on a cake, which we've all done for years
and most parties. You may have thought they were always gross,

(30:15):
but you never thought twice about it. You would still
eat that. Hold on, now, hold on, you don't have
any kids, right, So, having three kids of my own,
I've been to a lot of kid's birthday parties. Okay,
when they bring that cake out and the five year old,
eight year old, the eleven year old goes to blow
out the candles, they're not going it's their big moment, right,

(30:36):
it's their big time to shine. Cameras are rolling right,
They're the center of attention. They just got their song.
Now the parents are cutting the cake up, and the
and the and the friends of the mom are handing
out the cake and the friends of the you know,
the father is handing out the cake and they're passing
around it. We want a piece of cake. I'm good,

(30:58):
I'm good. I'll take a piece from the bottom you
mean the side, the bottom side down, and cut from
the crush section on the side and slice it like bread.
You know what? So you were always like that. I
didn't realize that because I don't know, no, no, what
I was worry. I didn't notice it. And when I

(31:19):
was an adult. For the most part, adults don't slobber
on their pizza unless they're I mean, on their cake.
And look at me with pizza. I love pizza unless
if they they're not slaber, unless they're drunk. Right, they're
gonna go. And besides, with what adults, you don't put
forty two candles on the cake. You put one or
two candles on the cake, right, You put a couple
unless you want to be conscious. And you I have

(31:40):
seen cakes that have gone on fire because they tried
to put candles. Right. My point is, most of the time,
it's a few to make it look good. Right, so
you go. If the kids eleven, he's got twelve candles,
he or she and he's gonna go. And because his
aim isn't good, he's gonna miss a couple have to
go back, and then Targets spit the candles and they're like,

(32:01):
come on, Jimmy, you gotta I just can't if you're
so grossed out by this last night that that she
blew out her candles like old school, like remember before
fifteen months ago, we all did it and we didn't
think it was crazy. She practically wound up like she
was waiting a year. Well, you wait a hear to
blow your candles, but it looked like she's waiting two years,
like she missed her birthday last year and she had
it all pent up. That's also I pointed it out,

(32:22):
and people in the morning show agreed they would not
eat deadcake now. In fact, maybe roll back the cake.
I sure did so good. Now if I could roll
back the hands of time to Sunday when it was
my father's birthday. Um, he he did something the exact opposite,
which I find to be so pansy, like, I'm my dad,
what are you doing? You're Tony from Brooklyn. When you

(32:44):
say happy, we're singing happy birthday to you. And we
had the candles with the numbers, you know, his number
seven and five seventy five. He waved them out. He
waved at them. I'm like, come on, Tony, what are
you doing. You're from Brooklyn and your your old school
and have all people you shouldn't give a fuck. But
he's like, I'm trying to be COVID friendly. I'm like, dude,

(33:05):
I don't want to see that. It's almost like he
farted and then started like roof, just smell that starts
like being polite. You didn't want to spit all over
the came on, I can't. I can't do that. I can't.
Let me ask you a question. Let's go back. If
you if you had a glass of soda on the table, right,
big glass of diet soda, coke, whatever you're drinking, imagine

(33:28):
yourself not drinking alcohol for a second, and uh, it's
a bit. It's a pint glass with a big open top,
riping wide mouth. And your father decides in his mind
he's he's hallucinating. He thinks that the SODA's on fire,
so he leans over to the soda and he goes
right in, ta soda. You're drinking that sodat Back off

(33:50):
your mic, Back off your mike. By the way you are,
you are pegging the needles you're in the red Brody.
Sorry a little better? Yeah, sorry, all right, I see
where you're coming from. Um, I will say this though,
my my nephew, my nephew, Nico, he must have some
issues or something going on. Every So, every time two

(34:11):
birthdays in a row, every time we're saying Happy birthday
to him, he started crying. Now is my father's turn?
Happy Birthday to Tony? And Nico started crying. We weren't
even directed the attention, directing attention at him, we were
hates that song. Well, you know, people, I said this
on the air, and people were texting saying, dude, maybe
he has some like sensory issues, or maybe they say

(34:32):
that the Happy Birthday song is a really really sad song.
So for some reason he's triggered. But how are you
triggered by the Happy Birthday song? Who do you guys
have Does anyone listening have kids or have been around
an inappropriate clown when it was younger? You never know,
maybe when you were growing up, did someone have something
bad associated that triggered you to cry during the singing

(34:55):
of Happy Birthday? So your nephew is a snowflake, is
what you're saying? Yeah? Or for that. Don't you think
I don't know? I listen, who knows something must to
happen in a cartoon where maybe like, uh, you know, uh,
he's watching bugs Bunny. This wasn't bugs Bunny. Let's he
he's watching a cartoon and it's somebody's birthday, and like
the road runner got an anvil on his the coyote
got an anvil on his head, right singing a happy birthday,

(35:18):
he might associate get an anvil on his head. You
don't know? You know what I'm saying. When you're when
you're five years old, in addition to toll over your cake,
things stick in your mind that years later ago. You
mean you weren't hurting mommy. No, no, Mikey, we're having sex.
As you know, he might think, you know, we basically
had a well, I'll tell you what. A lot of

(35:38):
texts came in and said, oh my god, I was
like that when I was growing up, or yeah, does
that have my niece? By the way, how many nephews
and nieces do you have? I have three nephews, okay,
and Nico's the oldest. Nico. No Lucas is the oldest.
Lucas right right, right, right, because whenever you talk about Nico,
you always say his name. So I was trying to
figure out, like you always do my like my buddy
where from Lucas, Nico and Jack like the pet boys,

(36:02):
the pet boys, Lucas, Nico and Jack. I feel like
the Jack doesn't fit brother Stephen. Jack is my brother's son, right,
that makes sense because it's his name is Stephen. I
think I don't think you brother Stephen knows he's Italian.
I think because they gave him a name like Stephen,
that's why he name is kid Jack. I think he's
he's completely the Italianized himself and his family. How is

(36:25):
first of all, how is Stephen not an Italian name?
Stephen Stephen is Yeah as an Italian name. Stef Stephano
is Italian. Well, Stevens Stephen is like Stephen Stephen with
a pH. Steve He's a V. Yeah, he's a vis
a V. He's Steve. Steven's Italian. Stevens an Italian. Vinny's Italian,
Anthony's Italian? If Steve hat a pizza place and I

(36:47):
have to made me think, I think twice you're showing
some good Steve Stevens pizza. Maybe maybe I go to
steve S Pizza, but Stevens No, Steven no, Stephen can't
have a pizza place. Steven e Adelhi, Stephen ev an
Ice Coacha Deli. Okay, So your sister, your sister as
an Italian name, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, his name is Jennifer,

(37:11):
right hook kids and Nico and Lucas correct, right to
the sounding names. That's very Italian sounding. If you had kids,
which I know you at this point in life, you don't,
You don't know what you want to do. You not
really leaning that way, But have you thought about what
your name your kids? That's a strange name for a kid.
Never thought, never Jones, you know what? Maybe uh Jor

(37:32):
you wouldn't Junior, it would you? Anthony? No, Junior? What
do you mean junior? Like Anthony Junior? No, he would
be the fourth because my grandfather was the first. My
father is junior on the third. Wow. So you're just
ending that ship right there. Huh yeah, I'm just gonna
keep it right there. Their grandfather was like, I'm gonna
pass my name on for generations. We're gonna go to America.

(37:52):
We're gonna have to find Italian restaurants and pizza places.
And my grandson is gonna carry on a tradition. Is
it really important to carry on the lineage, the legacy
it was to your grandfather when he came here from
the old country. But isn't it up to the next
generation to make that decision for themselves? Why do they
have to rely Why does the former generation have to
make that decision for them? You preach into the Jewish choir.

(38:14):
We don't do that. I'm saying. I'm saying Grandpa Anthony
is probably rolling over in his mausoleum right now. Mausoleum
yeah Jewish No, No, mausoleum is like Mussolini, same thing.
It's dying mausoleum. Yeah, I thought Jewish people were buried mausolea.
I think you can bury anybody in a mausoleum. Really, okay, okay, yeah, yeah,

(38:38):
we don't have that kind of money. Sorry, I heard that.
They cost like they're like many fortunes. They're like the
cost of a house. Because it is a house. It's
a stone house, isn't it. Mausoleum like a giant stone structure. No,
you ding bat, it's that. No, it's like a museum.
You go in and you're in the wall like like

(38:58):
like a filing cabine, like a like a drawer, like
like you open up like let's see here, let's go
through the death of the week um and it's like
a filing cabinet for death for dead people. Look, it
can be a stone building. Oh no, no, no, no no.
When I think masoleum, I think a standalone yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. The little the little looks like death huts.
It looks like a city hall or something like for

(39:20):
those people old enough when used to get your film
developed a Kodak in the pocket lot of malls, there's
that little hot a little building. Yeah no, it looks
like a mini court building and feel like a kiosk
at the mall for an elf and then and then
you're buried in there. That's a mausoleum. Now, I didn't
realize that a mausoleum is an actual like, uh, what
you're talking about? Where you're you're in a drawer like

(39:41):
you're where you're in the wall. Yeah, you could be
in the wall. I don't know if Catholic people do that. Well,
let's find out. I don't think the Catholic people put
themselves in mausoleums. Well you don't put yourself but uh,
let's see, I don't think so Brodie think we're not
onto some know it says it says here Catholic ceremonies

(40:02):
indoor musolium crypts are conducive to visitation in bad weather.
What religion uses mausoleums. While many ancient civilizations built mausoleums
to commemorate the dead, they are again becoming increasingly popular.
Those who practice Islam often construct the beautiful monuments to
pay tribute. Those who practice the Jewish faith also built
special monuments. But I don't think it's anything that says

(40:25):
Christians can't be in the big ones. But the fancy
marble and uh, the discos and the whole thing that
you and I could see you in a mausoleum because
it's like a club. It's like it's like you've been
a special club together. Yeah, and you have like perpetual
I don't have a stiff drink. Yeah. By the way,

(40:46):
you know what they what they call it when when
somebody pays for the uh, for the grave, for the
headstone and everything to be like manicured and the the
lawn mode and it kept up nicely. It's it's endowed, right,
It's like someone paid for it to be taken care of. Right.
And so uh I saw one the last time. I

(41:06):
was at a cemetery and on the headstone of somebody
had said endowed um, and I thought, wow, I would
like I would want it to say like well endowed,
Like I would put a well in front of it,
like who's I would tell people like when you come
to visit me, get a sign and put well in
front of it. Well like well, okay, I like it
like well endowed. Yeah, oh my god. All right, we

(41:26):
got some mail. Let's reach the mail and then we
get okay, we have a lot of audio clips to
play today to talk that chugs like it's mail time. Welcome,
You've got mail. You could always email us at the
Brooklyn Boys Podcast at gmail dot com, or you can

(41:47):
send us a slide into our d M s and
make things more confusing because people d M all the time,
and I'm like, oh my god, I gotta go get
that one. That was very funny. So I'm gonna start
with one from Jamie Hall at Sinning Sin on Jamie
thank you on Instagram. She slid into my d M
s and said I listened to episode one seven I

(42:09):
wanted to weigh in on this topic. I'm from New
York but have lived in North Carolina for twenty one years.
I have eaten at all kinds of places, bougie hole
in the wall spots, and I have never ever seen
a kitchen tip line on the receipt of any restaurant here.
I'm calling bs hashtag scamboni scary. Yeah, that's right. I

(42:31):
went to Charlotte, North Carolina, a couple of weeks ago,
and on the tip line there was a line for
tip and a line for kitchen tip. So I'm gonna
tell you that I gave twenty dollars because the lady
told me, oh, it's a no to the chef. Well,
the listeners here, the slices have spoken, uh. They said
that they think that I have gotten Scamboni on that one. Okay,
so there's that um email coming in from Andrea Ludvig says,

(42:55):
read me, what's up? Guy's My name is Andrea Ludvig.
I'm from Reading, Pennsylvania. Gotta tell you how amazing you
guys are. I love every single podcast, and my eight
year old daughter even knows both of your names and voices.
I think Brody and I are long lost twins. I'm
always correcting grammar. I'm huge on I'm huge on principle,
so I relate. She she's gotta win on principle. Oh oh,

(43:19):
she spelled principle. P R I n c I p
A l uh. That would be p R I n
C I p l E the person who runs by
the way. My favorite is the very line before it.
She says she's always correcting grammar. That's that's right there, Yes,
she spent so anyway. I I love correcting grammar. I'm

(43:40):
huge on principle, so I relate to all the stories. Now.
Sorry for chopping for the choppy email. Believe it or not,
I'm nervous writing this why and just wanted to show
some love. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm a slice
for life. Can't wait for more merch Uh, fuck you,
ape f, you, Agnes and all the others I missed. Hey,
guess what, Andrea, you missed about eight hundred because there's

(44:03):
been a long line of fus along the way. Hey,
can I interrupt for a second reference to Fu seventy seven?
So uh shady jew mobster our listeners are one of
our one of the capos in the Slice Army. He
changed his name on Twitter to funk you h seventy seven. Okay,

(44:25):
I think I may have mentioned that previously. So he
tweeted at nj gov, which is the official Twitter of
New Jersey, and he said, when there's no question what
state you're from, And he took a picture of the
back of a corvette and the license plate is g
O B A g O L Gobba golebb Brooklyn, Jersey.

(44:50):
Italians say Capacola, so you might it probably started with Gobbagola.
So you c A P I C O L A
something like that is how it started. Capricola, right, spicy
ham Capricola. But in in Brooklyn, you know, like we
said in philadelphida't say water. In Brooklyn they say go
about all yeah. And then if you want to hang

(45:13):
drape yourself in salami and look like a zombie for Halloween,
you're a Gobba ghoul. That's a real costume. By the way,
it won a contest. It won cash at the at
the place that I was at year. The point is
he tweeted this very Jersey looking car. It's a funny joke.
And j gov dot com on Twitter, and j gov
retweeted it. Oh really tweeted it, and hundreds of people

(45:38):
have retweeted it, and so everyone who retweeted it is
sending out a tweet that says fuck you. A love
it gets into the government Twitter. I love it now
now Mike. Mike is a contri beater often. Uh. To

(46:01):
our podcast, I sounded like Yoda there, micro Rebikowski said,
I hope you guys can get your hands on this
recent a BT Spotify commercial. Holy sh it. The guy
says something like says something like covidly weird times or something.
I'm pretty sure they made up that word. It's so
off putting his voices covidly weird times. It's so serious

(46:24):
and soothing at the same time. He says something a
nine year old wrote and then he gets he hears
the commercial again and writes it here. It is to
help protect you in these weird pandemic e times. What
he calls it pandemic e A d T commercial. Who
knows it's a little cloudy outside, Hey the six thousand dead. Yeah,

(46:45):
it's a little pandemic in this past pandemic. It's pandemic well,
who knows if they're running a commercial right here on
our own podcast, wouldn't that be a laugher? Okay? Can
we can we address that better? Okay, so last week,
now listen, insurance fraud is legitimately a terrible thing. It's awful.
You should not commit it. Don't be like, yeah, I'll

(47:05):
just burn the car and get Nope, don't lie, don't scam,
don't be like, yeah, they're a big company, they don't
care because okay, I'm not gonna preach too long. But
when you steal from a big company, then they lose money,
they fire people. So people do suffer when you steal
from big companies. Anyway, we're all about we don't like
insurance fraud. Last week we made fun of a commercial

(47:25):
that runs on our radio station because we're not talking
on the radio station, and we weren't talking about the message,
just the acting, right, it's the oh no, no, you can't, honey,
don't do that. As it turns out, they were one
of these sponsored commercials running in last week's podcast. Now
here's something you should know. Our commercials are dynamically inserted,

(47:49):
so they change out automatically every couple of days. It
may not be there anymore. But at the time of
our podcast first posted oops apology cheese to the fine
company that produced the UH well that that wanted the
important message of nut uh committing insurance for aid to
get out there, But maybe the company they hired to

(48:10):
produce the commercial wasn't the best. Kevin Schuller wanted to
point out the simplest and most fun party has ever
been a part of and he did it without one
of our partners Slice, Um and this is not the
commercial part of our show. But he wrote the email saying,
pretty cool idea for you guys. Last weekend, I was
visiting home to see friends for the first time UH
since COVID. Wanted to throw a pizza pool party at

(48:32):
my parents house, but couldn't decide what to order from.
So I decided to order one pizza from every pizza
place that wasn't a major chain. Ended up ordering a
large cheese pizza from Slice from sixteen different places. He
used a Slice app like simultaneously or over and over again,
whatever it was. They got all their phones anyway, he says,

(48:56):
one thing became apparent very quickly. There's a lot of
really shitty pizza. You're in Lemonster, Massachusetts. We ate our
way through the pizza and found that Daddy's Best Pizza
was easily the tastiest slice in Lemonster. So, if you
guys are ever unfortunate enough to find yourself in Lemonster,
Massachusetts and enjoy a slice at the unofficial Lemonster Pizza

(49:19):
fests in all girl champion Daddy's Best Pizza anyway? For
does that sound dirty? Doesn't sound like some young like
twenty two year old girls like this daddy pizza. Hey, daddy,
put some sausage on that pizza. Your girl's been bad.
She needs some square pie and beat me with it.

(49:40):
Give me. I'll give you a triangle slice of my
Daddy's Best Pizza. How you've heard of grandma slice? How
about recent college graduate slice? Ah? Yeah yeah, daddy over
that fork, over that dough. So see your grinder HOGI, submarine, torpedo,

(50:02):
depending on what part of the country you are in
for this joke. Um Jason Romano Love and our um
Our Grammar shirts on our merch store, which will tell
you about in a second. What's up, my fellow Brooklyn Knights.
I saw this logo on Facebook thought it could be
one of your next shirts. Um, so it's a picture

(50:23):
of some cinnamon rolls and it says made by a snake. No,
it says synonym rolls. Oh cinnamon, Well they are four
cinnamon rolls, okay. On the picture of the graphic of
and over it is the caption synonym rolls and the

(50:44):
bottom says like grammar used to make so honestly, that's great.
And then he shows us a picture of his grammar
police T shirt that he bought from us. Thank you
so much. Hey, if we're doing grammar police, I got
some grammar police. Don't want to interrupt your emails. But no, no,
that that's what this is for. Where's the where's the jingle? Well,
I didn't know you were going. There should always be ready,

(51:06):
it's always ready. I don't have the tangent here. Police police,
police police. What's going on? Brodie? Did you find ESPN?
At ESPN okay, a major corporation, the one with the

(51:27):
blue checkmark, yep, blue checkmark. On TikTok put up a
video of a guy kicking of football that went into
a house and broke the window, and the caption is,
we may have just found the greatest kicker of all time.
Here's the thing. The expression is, actually, we may have
just found the greatest kicker of all time. When we

(51:48):
say quickly, we say we may have, we may have,
we may have, we may have right. But you don't
write of right. You know right, I must have no no, no,
no no no no. ESPN should know better than that.
And then oh, I got one from Starbucks. Thank you,
Alan O nine sign at Starbucks. Ever wanted to be

(52:12):
a part of the Starbucks family, apply here at starbucks
dot com slash career, except they wrote apart as one
word on the sign. God ever wanted to be a part? Yeah,
I want to be apart from them, and I already
am a part is two words in that sense. I
got a good grammar Police one. This is a visual,
but I'll read it to you from Brian Lorello. He says, Hey,

(52:34):
check out this sign from my local seafood joint on
Long Island. Um, it's a picture of I guess the
Key West Key West Florida World champions. I guess they
were in a boat race and it was a picture
of a boat that won. And it's the super Boat

(52:55):
thirty four anniversary, and it's it's printed that way on
the fucking This isn't someone who wrote it. This is
actually a graphic. Somebody had to actually write this graphic
out and print it on the sign. It's a logo.
It's part of a logo for the super Bote inter
inter Nautical or International production whatever. Thirty fourth anniversary. I guess,

(53:19):
I guess. I guess it was like it was thirty second.
I guess what. They probably changed it to two because
the uh it's now thirty four. There's like two years
in a row where they left the n D from
the thirty second hilarious, thank you that was. That was
a Grand Police submission for you. Now you want to

(53:40):
continue with some email, you got more Grand Police, so
you know what. I have a I don't want to
be wrong on who sent this to me? So okay,
Alison Michelson sent me this. This is from the official
Food network account. Now the Food Network, they should be
experts on what scary the Food Network. Yeah, food like
like great restaurants, right, but when it comes to food,

(54:03):
they should be experts experts on food. Yes, So here's
a little irony they posted on ash Food Network. Okay,
this is one of those today years old get ready scary,
right because all of The responses were mind blown with
a little mind blown emoji. Mind blown I was today
when I learned this. Go just learned the club sandwich

(54:26):
stands for chicken and lettuce under bacon. It is not
this is what they wrote. Just learned that club sandwich
stands for chicken and let us under bacon, and we're
going to need to take the rest of the day off.
Now know what fucking doesn't it to do with It
has nothing to do with clubs. In fact, I don't know.

(54:46):
There are plenty of club sandwiches that don't have one
of those ingredients. Club sandwich probably came from a type
of sandwich that was served at a country club. Country club.
R right, Food Network, go fund yourself. This is the
official when you when you played yourself, you played yourself
food Network. You should call yourself. And we don't know
shit about Food Network. It's again ESPN. They under bacon.

(55:10):
First of all, it doesn't even go in that order,
right right. Somebody was sitting there and saying, I'm gonna
tell somebody, by the way, there is no you could
put the bacon on top but chicken and let I
don't know, man, chicken, let us under bacon. The bacon's
on top, fine, but didn't come with the name of
the sandwich that way. I like to put my bacon
on the bottom. I like to taste it with the tongue. Uh.

(55:32):
This is sort of a scambon. He sent to me
by Christie Love at k Noel seventies. A scambone. What's
the scamboni? Brodie? The bottle of ketchup looks just like Hines.
The label looks just like Hines, but at the top
it says America's Classic Ketchup. They made it look like Heines.

(55:55):
Fake Heines. F that f that. Now he has another
major scamboni. I have a pool you may have heard that.
And the pool robot, the traditional pool robot. It'll go
along the floor and up the walls, but it doesn't
float on the top of the surface. So on Instagram

(56:17):
or TikTok, one of them. I get an ad. It's
from a website called luck List. By the way, you
ever see a pop up ad and you're like, oh,
I've never heard of this website. Google the website and
the words reviews or the words scam, so it's like
scary Jones dot com. You like, should I buy a
jacket from Scary Jones dot com. Google Scary Jones dot
com in the word scam and you will find like

(56:38):
trust Pilot and different websites that will review websites let
you know, like, oh, this website is only like two
months old, there's no country of origin. Don't buy from there. Okay.
I'm having this problem right now, by the way, with
something I brought for but for Danielle. All right, well
you'll tell you'll tell me in a minute. So there's
this robot skimmer. It's a it's a skimmer. So it
looks like I don't know, it's about six or seven

(57:01):
inches high, about eighteen inches wide, maybe two and a
half feet long. It's like a giant uh, I don't know.
It looks like a computer, like a laptop computer. And
you put it on the top of the water like
almost like a like a motorized boat like a catamarran,
and it it takes all the garbage off the surface
of your pool. Okay, because your vacuum doesn't get the surface.

(57:25):
So rather than like you know, the corners where the
it doesn't go into the pool the return lines, because
it's just sitting in the corner. This thing skims the
surface and goes around your pool. So I'm like, wow,
that's that's a great deal. That's I'd like to have
one of those. Let me see how much it is.
I scrolled down originally on sale for well, how can

(57:50):
you go wrong? Fifty bucks for a motorized pool skimmer
sounds too good. I gotta get one. So I'm like,
let me read the reviews of the website and read
the reviews of this amazing robot skimmer. Well, the reviews
of the website are beware scamboni okay, and the reviews
of the uh, the the skimmer great reviews, fantastic reviews.

(58:14):
Here's the only problem. It's a six robot. There's no
way it could be for that price, right, not not
a chance at hell. You're kidding to make a knockoff?
That's you could that would cost that little actual one.
I looked up the model. It's six skimming robots. You're

(58:35):
gonna get a box of rocks if you're lucky. That
is a scamboni. Then I got another scamboni. It's it's
an unintentional scamboni. Uh. And then I have a real
scamboni again. Let me give the unintentional Scamboni. I'm shopping
and Target and I'm checking out the graphic T shirts
and they way they merchandise the T shirts. Now, a
target is on white shelving units, okay, And they put

(59:00):
multiple shelving units together. So where the shelving units meet,
it's double poll, right, like two legs together if you
put two tables together. You follow me, So the side
of one rack is touching the side of the other rack.
So the sign at the top of the rack clipped
onto the shelf says graphic ts you to nine. That's

(59:22):
a great deal, right, I'm looking at it. I'm gonna
send you the picture right now, scary, and you're gonna
tell me what you think the sign says is. So
hang on a second, I'm gonna give you this sign.
And so I'm looking at it. I'm going this can't
be right. And if it's not right, do I take
a picture of it so that uh I can verify
it at the register because they have to honor it.

(59:43):
I'm like, this is a great deal. Well, when you
get closer and you're you're not at the angle I
was at. Let me know. When you get the pictures, scary,
you see that. It's the T shirts. Tell me when
we get the pictures yet. Okay, when you look at
the picture, when you get closer the shirts at twelve,
they tucked the one behind the end the pipe of

(01:00:04):
the sign on purpose, So I think so I pulled
the sign back out so people can see it's but
it got me to come closer. So I think somebody,
somebody has one of the workers are like, let's funk
with the public. That's what I think. I think it
was worker Scamboni. Yeah, oh absolutely, they did that on purpose. Right, right,

(01:00:26):
I got another Scamboni here. It's METS related. I have
to explain. So you you you are you all familiar
or you might be familiar. You can google it if
you want. The Abbey Road album cover for the Beatles. Um,
it's them crossing the street at Abbey Road. Right, the
four of them are walking across the street. On the

(01:00:46):
ground is white stripes like the crosswalk. And I think
they're barefoot. Right there is small his barefoot and he's
got his left foot in front of his right. The
rest of them have their right foot in front of
the left. Okay, so you're a dork. I appreciate that
you knew that anyway. It's an often imitated It's like
when you go to Italy and you go to the
Tower Pizza and you take the picture of you holding
the building up. So this is one of those. If

(01:01:09):
you're a Beatles fan, you and your three friends and
you reenact crossing the street like the Beatles, and if
you only have three of you, you grab a stranger
because you need the four of you. So I want
to just explain this. It's gonna take a little information.
So there's a a Mets website. It's as they sell
Mets New York Mets merchandise on Facebook. Facebook. Now it's

(01:01:31):
it's a guy holding up a T shirt with a
New York Mets spoof of the Abbey Road album cover.
So it says Mets, and it's four New York Mets
in their uniforms walking across the street like they're the Beatles. Right.
It even has the guy in the front what is
left foot forward and everyone else they're right foot right.
It's being held up by Keith Hernandez, one of the

(01:01:53):
greatest Mets ever. Okay, here are the problems on the shirt.
Under each player, it says their name, Tom Siever Keith Hernandez,
David Wright, Jacob Degram arguably four of the best New
York Mets of all time, even if you're out the
sports just well yeah, okay, all right. Underneath their names

(01:02:15):
are their signatures in white and white ink, so it
looks like they signed it. You know, you've seen faith
the employees, the employee, the athletes signatures. Okay, here's the problem.
Jacob Degram on the right is on the body of
a picture from ten years ago, in a uniform from
ten years ago. It's not him wearing wearing leggings the

(01:02:36):
way Jacob Degram doesn't wear them. The The third player
is wearing the wrong uniform. That's Keith Anandez. The fourth
player says Tom Siever, except Tom Sieva was right handed.
This guy is tall and skinny and left handed, and
underneath Tom sever is the signature of another picture for
the Mets named Tom Glavin. All kinds of rona information

(01:03:00):
going on. Was left handed. So whoever, whatever, person who
doesn't like sports it's another country, not only messed up
all the players but also didn't change the signature so
that they're trying to fake it because Tom Steva recently died,
but tell him the biggest kicker of all Brodie, The
biggest is photoshop the face of Keith Andez. It isn't

(01:03:20):
even him holding the shirt. It's not even him holding
the damn shirt. All of the comments on Facebook are,
oh my god, I gotta get this shirt. When when
did Tom Steven become a lefty? Why isn't Mike Pyatt
there arguing over who should be on the shirt? Meanwhile,
the shirts of Scamboni, it's not a real it's not
a real thing like it's it's it's but yet it
was at paid advertisement from where? Uh? From a website?

(01:03:44):
I'm not gonna it's a mess. But what social media app?
Did you? Fuck? Face? Facebook? They got into Facebook. I
love the way Facebook checks the validity of their clients.
Instagram does this is this is what I'm going to
a Stagram with Danielle's thing I found on Instagram before
you tell me that? So I tweeted at Keith Hernandez

(01:04:05):
and he retweeted it to get out good good, because
I gotta retweet from the man himself. Number seventeen, Number seventeen,
who wore that number in tribute to Mickey Mandeli Glove
First Basement one of the best of all time. Anyway,
his photoshop face is endorsing a major Scamboni shirt. Crazy craziness, craziness. Um,

(01:04:27):
I'm not even gonna get into the Danielle thing. I
just I'm hoping one more METS thing. I want to
talk about it, and then we gotta we gotta take
a quick break here. Well, then then let me say,
let's take a break. Let's take a thing. You got
a Danielle thing. We'll be right back after this. Tell
me to Danielle thing, because I'm very quickly. You know,
I don't want to keep littering our podcast with our

(01:04:48):
own problems. But the truth of the matter is this.
I brought her a green snake, if you know what
I'm saying for her cats. No, you know those remote
controlled USB things, it's it's it literally it literally slew.
There's like a snake and it's supposed to be no it'
there's like a snake and it's it's like plastic or
rubber whatever it is with vibrate. It's gotta remote. It's
gotta remote. People call it a face massager. And you're

(01:05:14):
supposed to use it for you with your kids, with
your kittens, and your cats. It's supposed to get scared.
I'm still going with I know you were. I let
you into that. It's for your kitty. It's a pizza.
It's a snake for your kittie. Anyway, right, all right,

(01:05:35):
except that's okay, that part of the story has ended,
So get your mind out of the gutter. It's an
actual electric electronic snake. Okay. So I'm sorry. It's a vibrator,
whatever you want to call it. Whatever, it's not so
so I will say this. I bought it through an
Instagram ad and I did not verify the company place
of origin, how long the company has been around, if
it's a scam or not. It ended up a pain

(01:05:58):
through shopify, some shop company, and it's been sitting there
in Q where I get an email confirmation of my order.
Great jerked me off, and then that means nothing. By
the way, when you get an email confirmation that you
placed the order, because as I told you last year
with the Scamboni, with the Tommy Bahama umbrellas and chairs,
they fucked me on that because they sent me, oh,

(01:06:19):
here's your order, here's how it's been placed, and it
just sat there and I never got any They never
said ship. Well guess what it's been now two weeks
and it's just been sitting there. What website is this?
Whered you get it? Um? The website because I had
the ceiling. You didn't google it with the words Sam,
I didn't, and you may do this for me right now.
Hold on a second. Uh my god, I gotta find

(01:06:41):
out where it was ship. Hold on invoice. You're putting
me on the spot. I hate searching for ship while
we're alive on the podcast. But Mike France, let's go yeah,
right exactly, Um, I'll out on a fuck you. He'
gonna let everybody. Last time I said, look, let's edit
this out. We just sat there for like two and

(01:07:03):
a half minutes of my fucking scrolling, and you embarrassed
the funk out of me. I'm not gonna do it now.
It doesn't matter the company I'm suspecting Brodie is a scam. Okay,
whatever I will. I'll tell you what if if there's
no movement made by next week's episode, I'm gonna put
them on blast and every all our slices, I'm gonna
get everybody after them. The entire army is going to
go after them because they're being a little tardy to

(01:07:26):
the party and a little slow with setting out an
electronic snake. I'm sorry, I don't think this ship is
back ordered. Okay, you put your shirt on Instagram, you
advertise through them. Instagram didn't check your validity or if
you're a cool company or not. I fell for it.
I clicked the fucking button inside Instagram, and I'm and
I'm now upset that Danielle didn't get her green snake alright,

(01:07:47):
sitting there in queue, and there's no phone number. There's
only an email to email for service. So that's red
flag number one. Okay, all right, now one quick email
from Chris Travers, uh, and then and then we can
go on to something else. But I want to thank
Chris for um for sending this email at the Brooklyn
Boys podcast at gmail dot com. It was just very nice,
you know what. I may not even read the whole

(01:08:08):
damn thing. I'm I'm kind of piste off right now.
But uh, I went up to Beacon, New York, and
he was so excited that I visited his hometown. Um,
he missed me anyway, I basically was born and raised
in Beacon. I have the handle at Beacon underscore chef,
because I was the executive bank with chef for the

(01:08:28):
Roundhouse at the Beacon, which, by the way, that's the
place I stayed. He says, I have since moved on, however,
I hope you have enjoyed your stay in my hometown.
Was wondering if you had any uh, if you had
dinner in the Roundhouse, which I did executive chef. There
is a very good friend of mine. He's very young,
he's about twenty two years old. Um, he's on his

(01:08:48):
way to becoming a Michelin Starry chef. I know you're
a boogie bastard, scary, so you definitely know a good
meal from a ship one. Um. And that's that. So,
Chris trade Vis, thank you for the really nice email.
He said some nice cool things as well. Yes, I
ate at the Roundhouse. Yes, I stayed at the Roundhouse.
So I tasted the food of your twenty two year
old up and coming Michelin chef. And I gotta say
he is onto something there because the food was exquisite. Okay,

(01:09:11):
that was that. That was And I did not get
a free meal. I paid full price. Very nice, Well,
you'll get a free one. Next time anyway. So I
want to just shout out. Look, I got a lot
of things I want to read, but I'm gonna read
some of them next week. Ethan Robinson, uh dm me.
Hey Brody, just caught the last episode and you made
my week mentioning me on the podcast. Well here it
is again, Ethan, I'm giving you another mention. Just watched
the video again of the the antibodies oh my on

(01:09:34):
your Instagram at David Brody Can watched the video and
I swear it gets funnier every time your insurance fraud
commercially you ran. This week was even better. I was
laughing so hard at work listening to your commentary. This
stuff is the reason you guys are the only podcast
I listened to religiously. Well, thank you, Ethan. I'm glad
that you are enjoying the podcast because we do have
stuff you can't get anywhere else. That being said, um,

(01:09:56):
the podcast that's scary used to mention, and I told
him to stop mention. They didn't need the publicity. Just
signed an exclusive sixty million dollar deal and put themselves
about sex. And it looks like they put themselves behind
a paywall because it's pretty much part of Spotify. No,
it's not a paywall. It's exclusive to Spotify. Okay, Oh,

(01:10:18):
so you don't have to subscribe to it. No, Michael,
you have to pay for Michael Chase podcast. He's been
voting a hell out of it. You have to pay
for it. So he's behind a paywall. He'sh who's behind
the door? He is, he's but this this other one
we're talking about, which when we spoke about in the past,
sixty million dollars, you go listen to what on Spotify,
but not listen to us. First, congrats to uh to

(01:10:39):
miss Cooper. She's very talented. She's quite a business woman.
I love her. We should have her on our podcast.
Well I think should we should make her part of
our network. Yeah, that's what. We should have our own
part of our network. Holy craps. Sixty million, that's almost
that's only a little bit more than us, but it's
still very impressive. All right, Now we have some sound
or we have well we have time for just a

(01:11:01):
thing or two. Well, I have a thing that I
want to play some audio from a conversation we had
on the air, Scary of you and I made I
made a joke. I haven't heard this edit it or not?
So it's forty seconds. I may stop it in the middle, Um,
but this is you fucking up a word. Hold on
in the background will be calling the authorities, but on
the air, the show will happen. You could always in

(01:11:24):
trust that this, this Joggernaut will never fail. You Wait,
why or not that Daniel lost power? Look at her?

(01:11:45):
She's all star man froggy. Not is what Scary decides
to do every Saturday morning or not? Yeah, you said Jogger,
not right, It's Juggernaut. Right, it's juggernaut. I thought it
was Okay, it's j u g g e R and
it's jug It's j U g g e R like

(01:12:08):
jugger and a U T. See. I took the the
au part and I put that in the front of
the word. Ay, you you're an idiot. AU. If you're
reading the X Men comic books, you'd know the Juggernaut
was a villain. You know how to spell his name.
See you learn things from reading comic books. Scary all right,
this is another lesson in METS. But I want to
say this is either part of the Mandela effect or

(01:12:28):
if you're going to correct someone, be right. It falls
into either category. Okay, I gotta paint the picture again,
so I apologize. Scary. You remember the eighty six Mets, Yeah,
of course I do. Okay, when that was our one
of our two World Series win right when? Now listen again,
you don't need to know baseball, just follow follow what.
I'm gonna dumb it down as much as I can
if you're not a baseball fan. The Mets play the

(01:12:49):
Houston Astros, right, that's they had a really good team.
But one of the pictures that was the playoffs, right
was Mike Scott. Now, Mike Scott used to pitch for
the Mets. He wasn't any good. They traded him, and
then he developed a secret pitch where people think he
was cheating, right, they called him. It doesn't matter. He
was so good. He was unhitable. The Mets couldn't hit him,

(01:13:10):
Okay when they played he beat them in game one,
he beat them in Game four, and they had to
win in Game six so they wouldn't have to face
him again in game seven because they couldn't hit him.
He was unbelievably good. Okay. So I'm in a Mets
group and somebody says, I still don't know why the
Mets traded Mike Scott. He was so good against us
in the playoffs. Well again, he sucked with the Mets

(01:13:34):
until he started cheating. Then he became good. He was
at cheating, son of a bitch. So what So somebody wrote, yeah,
we could never beat him. So Kevin writes, well, we
beat him in the playoffs to get to the World Series,
and John writes, I do believe they did, and then
um Mikey writes, yes, one of the best playoff games ever.

(01:13:58):
Mm hmm. Here's the problem. They never beat him. There
was no greatest playoff game ever. It never happened. Because
they won in six games, they didn't have to face
him in game seven. Right. So now that these all
these guys are like, yeah, we beat him, Yeah, we
beat him, greatest game ever, it never happened, did you
correct these motherfucker's I may have said something. Did they

(01:14:22):
argue with you? Uh no, no, because they went to
the people that the people that knew better. We're all like, yeah, yeah, Kevin,
Yet John, you know, like these guys supposed to be
like big met fans on a Met group and they're like,
oh man, it was the greatest game ever. It was amazing.
It was terrifically. Yeah, we beat him, you didn't beat him.
I just I love that they remembered vividly. They thought

(01:14:42):
they lost, and we lost in game one and four. Now,
by the way, I was younger, younger, I do remember
Mike Scott. I don't. I would not have commented on
that threat, so I would last Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
the last thing. I think. I think we have one
thing left I want to get to. So two weeks
ago we played the uh oh my commercial right for
the COVID oh my. Last week we played the insurance

(01:15:07):
fraud Oh no, honey, honey no commercial, And this week
I had one. I'm not sure it reaches the level,
but I think it's pretty good. Now there's two clips
that it's a cat scale. I have to explain. Yeah,
we're trying to end the show. We're starting to start
to show over again. If you drive a truck, scared

(01:15:27):
the funk out of me. Yeah, if you drive a truck,
I didn't know it out. No, I won't. I'ave it in.
So if you drive a truck like a big eighteen
wheel or a big rig, you have to get way
at a way station. Every I don't know. I don't
know the details. But every once in a while you'll see,
like on the side of the road, you'll say, way station,
you have to weigh your cargo. I think you pay

(01:15:48):
taxes on the road. Whatever it is, you get weighed,
and you have to have a certain amount. You have
to have paperwork to match whatever it is. Okay, you
have to have a in amount. So this commercial is
for a company called ACT that makes scales. Okay, there's
two clips here. The first one is bad acting. The
second one that we're gonna play, i'll set up before

(01:16:09):
we play it. The first one, I want you to listen.
The wife. He's the truck driver. Okay, the wife is
telling him about this great app. So first of all,
I want you to hear how bad the acting is.
She talks him like he's an idiot. He looks at
the app for three seconds and suddenly knows everything the
app does. Also, it's one of the catchiest jingles I've
heard in a while. So let's listen to the It's

(01:16:31):
already sexist because why does he have to be the
truck driving. Well, listen, you'll hear but she knows everything
the cat scale. Before we get back on the road.
Let's stop at this cat scale and definitely, will you
use the truck app? You know I'm no good with technology.
It's easy, just try it, okay. You can process the
entire way on your smartphone and email your paperwork anywhere.

(01:16:54):
That's right. So this is how we've been getting through
the cat scales so fast, and you pretend not to
like technology. Oh my god, what kind of shows are
you losing to that conversion? So so we're gonna play
it again real quick, but again listen, She's like, are
you gonna use the app now? Apparently, according to him,

(01:17:15):
she's been using the app every time they weave the
truck and he had no, no, no clue. But he's
the driver of the truck, right, And she's like, oh honey,
you know you're bad with He's like, I'm bad with technology.
Just listen, get listen to the I can't scale before
we get back on the road. Let's stop at this
cat scale a way. Definitely, will you use the truck app?

(01:17:37):
You know, I'm no good with technology. It's easy, just
try it, Okay. You can process the entire way on
your smartphone and email your paperwork anywhere. That's right, So
this is how we've been getting through the cat scale
so fast, and you pretend not to elect technology. Let's

(01:18:01):
go away the truck. Are you going to use the
cat scale app? That's horrible? By the way, By the way,
he doesn't use the app, dude, he knows she's the
one using the app every time. She knows he's not
going technology. She also knows he doesn't know about the app.
You know what, you know, it's an even larger issue
as you splatter all over the place and you scream

(01:18:21):
into your microphone. Sorry, I'm screaming against either one of
these motherfuckers. Sound like they're truck drivers, right, what that means? Yeah? That?
Come come on, now, come on, at least getting actors
that that that are more appropriate sounding of like what
a burly truck driver would sound like. And tell me
what a burly truck driver would sound scared, you give
me an pression of a burly truck driver. Okay, these

(01:18:42):
people just walked out of their fucking wistaria lane, white
picket fence house high. It's like fucking June Cleaver and
her fucking husband. Before we get let's definitely will you
use to read you know, technology get both of these.

(01:19:03):
This guy is not behind the wheel of a fucking truck,
a t wheeler. Who's he fucking kidding, He's gotta he's
got a sob the hell out of here. Out of here.
She's like, He's like, we should go away the truck. Definitely, Yeah. Yeah,
And then she I don't know what part of the
country she's from, but I like the way she says app.
He's app. You can use the app. Okay. So the

(01:19:25):
second part now is the company voiceover guy telling you
about how great the app is. So I want you
to listen to this part of the commercial where they
tell you it's guaranteed to work right, but then listen
when they completely then blow a hole in the fact
that it's perfect on the cat scale. You get no excuses.
Guarantee if you get an olverweight scitation, I can win

(01:19:46):
legal on a cat scale. He will either reimburse you
for the fine or go to court with you. Okay,
So they guarantee it'll be more it'll work right, But
then they say, but if it doesn't, we'll go to
court with you. What does that mean? What that means, Well,
they're covering their ass because they gonna it's gonna it's

(01:20:07):
gonna fail. We guarantee you'll get an accurate read. But
if you don't, Hey, you know what, we'll either reimburse you,
we'll go to court with you. What that means is
they're gonna go to court with you. But that doesn't
mean anything. You still might lose and get fined. Listen
to the guarantee again, scary. Will you weigh on a
cat scale? You get no excuse to guarantee, no excuse

(01:20:28):
me after weighing legal on a cat scale, people will
either reimburse you for the fine or go to court
with you. Yeah right, okay, but chuck on a cat scale. Anyway.
My point was that's more bad acting. Definitely talking about
a niche audience. That's a very narrow audience. I mean
they're literally talking to people driving. I heard it on

(01:20:52):
satellite radio and that's chuckers and listening to satellite radio
a lot. Okay, put your truck dog a cat scale.
It's my favorite. Listen. Before we get out of here,
just remind everybody you have a chance to win free
pizza for a year thanks to the Brooklyn Boys podcast
and our friends at Slice. Go to this special website
for this week and this week alone the Brooklyn Boys
Free Pizza dot com and to the details and while

(01:21:16):
you're there, download the app for an additional fifty entries.
Good luck to you will announce the winner on the
next episode of the Brooklyn Boys podcast. Hey Party, bring
your eighteen wheeler over. We'll go drive on the Bell
Parkway and we'll crash into the overpass. Rip off the
roof in Brooklyn Boys, Brooklyn Boys, Brock

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Skeery Jones

David Brody

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