#187: A Seat At The Ugly Table

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start a dot up. Start up. Brooklyn Boys start up,
Brooklyn Boys start dot up. They make it noise, dot up,
dot Up. Episode one, The Brooklyn Boys and making some noise.
It's the podcast of the Brooklyn Boys. It's us, we're here.

(00:25):
Sometimes I think all we do is make noise and
not a whole lot of sense. I walked away from
last week's podcast scratching my head and I'm like, did
we really did we make any points? Did we make
anyone laugh this week? I don't know. These are the
things I can't sleep on. I usually do the podcast

(00:45):
and then I go to bed after we upload it.
It's usually like later at night on a Wednesday, right
on a Wednesday, and I and I just I always
like lay there for the first fifteen minutes before I
go to sleep, and I'm staring at the ceiling, like
did we move the needle with our slices? I don't know.
I don't know. It's funny because people will will tweet

(01:06):
us and ask us questions about something from three episodes ago,
like I'm calling upmselves behind, but what you said about cheese?
I don't like, So just what we've talked about this
you guys listen in order. By the way, we have
not played any listening in order jingles in a while.
We should have one ready for today. Have one of them,
Pearl Jam, one of them. Yeah, we don't have them
here at home, but I'll have to go get them. Suck,
you have to bring him up. So, uh, when our

(01:29):
podcast ends, right, we go baseball and the boys in
Brooklyn ahead, yeah, and then we all right, I was great, okay,
And Brody's usually off the mark because he's at home,
and I want to address that in a minute. I
want to address that because we've got some tweets about it,
and so Scarce as I, I gotta just uh put
this together and uh call me. Intendants will call up

(01:49):
with a title. So I call him back. He goes,
I'm writing a description what we talk about. Then I
gotta go back and look at my notes, and well,
a lot of a lot of times when we finish
after like seventy eight minutes, and I'm just wiped, and
I'm like, what did we talk about? It's a roller
coaster for us too, I know for you guys listening there, like,
oh my god, they're all over the place. Yes we are.
We're all over the map. We are all over the

(02:09):
place where someone a listener wants did a flow chart.
One of our favorite slices did a flow chart of
what we talked about. And if you like to see
the way this thing is Instagram, scroll back a year
or so at David Brody. It's blue and orange. Of course,
it's just the flow of conversation and how it goes
and how we're always we sidetrack ourselves. I'm not gonna

(02:31):
do it because it would be we We can't do
it in the moment. But you know, I like that
that the the director's commentary On some DVDs, like back
in the day, you could watch them and the director
would go, what we were thinking here if you look
at the dinosaur right and then you get like the commentary,
so you know what the director was thinking. And they'll
they'll stop and I'll go look behind looking on there
on the wall. You may have missed this, and they

(02:52):
give you the rundown. They narrate the movie that we
we could narrate an app. You know what we could
do what we can be open up a only fans page.
By the way, the band, the band is temporary lifted.
I heard about that you can. Actually you can actually
upload porns. You could always could, but they were gonna Bandrenna, right,

(03:12):
but now you can. Now you can upload porn again.
They never was October. It was supposed to go away.
Continue you did right as of now, they're not changing yet.
So yeah, that's right, you can. So maybe we do
like a director's cut where we listen to our episode
and then we we chime in with that wasn't planned.
That wasn't planned. I mean to say that, I didn't.
I didn't even say that catch that where I said

(03:35):
that joking. Yeah, you know we've been tried. We've tried
to be better with streamlining, right, I guess in recent episodes. No,
we don't. Every time you and I sit down before
we start, you say, Bright, we should really kind of
structure this, and I think we should stay focused. I
think was really just make a list of things we

(03:55):
want to talk about and stick to the list. I go,
that's not how we do we do now. I saw
like a consultant. Sometimes radio consultants will do. No, don't ever,
don't ever put me in that box. I never want
to become that when you get a radio consultants, So
so just pull back the curtain. Unless I'm on I'm
on the balls of my ass and I wout a job,
then then maybe a radio consultant, and I would be

(04:16):
a radio consultant. Don't come in with charts and graphs
and research and they go, um your your praying phone
calls need to be three minutes and forty seven seconds.
That is, we put it into a computer and optimally,
we think we calculated um your Your entertainment segments should
be no more than a minute and three point nine seconds,
only doing two stories about singers and one story about

(04:38):
an actor or actress and maybe a death. They're in
a laboratory and they're mixing chemicals and things and they're
like like they're Bunsen burners boiling. They test people either
in a room or on a computer, but there's really
no good way to test people as they're showering and
shaving and getting dressed in the more in their car
right or in their car because five things going on.

(05:00):
So so if you listen to something, if you listen
to a song in the car you're driving, bah bah,
you're like, oh that was great. When you experience it
in a different way, right, like that was a great song.
Sit in a room alone and listen to a song
where you're studying it, paying attention to the lyrics and
deciding whether you like it. That song becomes nine minutes, right,

(05:21):
or a praying phone call, or a news report or
anything else. If you're alone and you're focused on it,
it seems like forever, right, But you're on a roller coaster,
you like, wow, it was like twenty seconds, like not
a minute. If you're in a car, you're pulling up
in the drive through, you got the kids crying in
the back, someone's here, like, and you're you don't really
you experience it in a different way and it goes faster.

(05:41):
I'm gonna do director's cut. Here's a freebie ready for
What we're listening to now was not planned. It just
came out of nowhere. It really like that. We did
not play talk about that. It just happened. It just
fell out of ours now speaking of me not sinking
up at the end because I'm on us a little
bit of it. We're gonna correct that really soon. You
know how We're gonna get back to the fucking studio. Well,
we'll see about that. So David Hugo h U G.

(06:04):
E L He's uh Hollywood Hugo thirty one. Why am
I excited for the Brooklyn Boys to one day get
back in the studio together so David Brody can sync
up with Scary Jones on their intro outro love you guys,
and I left every time Scary says you're off again.
That's right after I hear the echo on Brooklyn because
you you hear we are on the way. And then

(06:26):
Cappy kaplan Caplan Cappy. He says that goes double for
free ship for us the jingle um and then David says,
I was trying to figure out how to type Brooklyn
and then Brooklyn and then yean for how it comes
across but goodn't now, but yes, the free ship for us.
Here's a little backstage. Had this been another podcast, we
would have edited it, and I would have we would

(06:48):
have SYNCD up the tracks to make sure right. But
as you know, this is like a live to tape
podcast where it just falls out of our mouths right
on and you're hearing things is unedited. We don't l
suggest I would suggest listening to last week's episode. I
believe it was one ninety three, The Walk the Walkers

(07:10):
and Talkers podcast because the way we end every episode
is I say, Jamie, you know what time it is?
She's what time is it? And I say it's time
to shut that ship down, because that's a line from
Megan from The Walking Dead where he says no excuses,
I will shut that ship down, and we have shirts
that say it. So that's how we end the podcast.
So I say jam what time is it? She says
what time is it? And I say it's time and

(07:32):
we both say to shut that ship down. But I
said she was it's time shut shut, shut to shit down.
She's trying to time it based on what she hears
and it's a train wreck every time perfect, And so
I did. I say to her, don't worry, I'll edit that,
I'll line it up. Don't wry about it. And I
never do, of course, and then I then I leave
the banter of heart telling me she's sorry. She's like,
which is and I go, no, don't worry. We chopped

(07:53):
this up. Make it something the same time. Whenever you
say like, hey, edit edit that, edit that, I'm like, no,
I'll edit it that later while you hear the whole thing.
So even if you don't like The Walking Dead. And
by the way, I think you should listen to the
Walk as Doggies podcast because it's funny as shit. Um,
but at least listen to the endings because Jamie Debt's
probably trying to sync up and I just go, oh yeah,

(08:14):
I'll just I'll move it. Don't worry, I'll move it. Well,
a couple of the housekeeping issues here. First of all, UM,
to everybody who is hearing this episode right now who'll
be living it up, who didn't have not listened to
last three, can you please do us a favor and
and help us catch up, catch yourself up because I
know you didn't listen to the last three episodes. Well,

(08:34):
how can they do that if they're listening to this
one after this one's over, and then after this one's over,
go back and do a double shot. You know, most
likely they're up to two these I'm telling you there
are people listening to this right now that have been
skipping episodes. I hear you, I see you. Yeah, Well
it's something's weird. Way, there's no way that you we

(08:57):
I'm gonna make up numbers now, right, I'm I just
go one through ten. There's no way. We can have
episodes that have seven six, seven, three, nine, four, twelve,
you know, listeners right right, listen, downloads, whatever. So either
people are coming on and they're never listening again, but
then like two weeks later, we have a huge spike.

(09:20):
So the last couple of scari is convinced on a
summer break, and that's what it is. I'm attributing it
to people have different habits and attitudes. Right now, the
theory doesn't work. No, well, well, hold on a second.
I feel like it's we're coming to the end of summer,
people trying to get their last licks in before fall.
Before we do you think by nine they're gonna be
back on. I think yeah, I think we're gonna have

(09:41):
a strong one ninety. Okay, so when we do episode
one ninety, we need to remind people you missed some
great ship from five to seven. The other thing is,
don't come looking for us next week because we are
on vacation, which next week is well, if you're listening
leaning into Labor Day, Yeah, labor we are off next

(10:02):
week week of August. Opportunity catch up on the episode
that was my follow up point, or just go back
and listen to your favorites. Go back and listen to Dill,
Go back and listen to the ups RNT. Go back
and listen to me yelling about the garbage pay never
they never get old. Go listen to me talking to
Scary about Brooklyn industrial classics. And now while you're there,

(10:22):
be inspired and go to our merch store. Brooklyn Boys dot,
Big Cartel dot com. That's another Oh whoa yeah, don't
even say the word dot's ahead. That's that's Brooklyn Boys dot,
Big Cartel dot com. And now, now maybe some people
are having trouble spelling the word cartel, but it's c
A r t e L. If you thought it was
k A r t u l, or if you didn't

(10:47):
think that there were two dots in there, there are
two dots. It's Brooklyn Boys dot. The way, it's commernity.
It's commernity. What am I talking about? Stupid? The stupid
name fights are just gave its vaccine. They took COVID
and m R and A vaccines and um, something else

(11:07):
doesn't matter. Don't tweat me. I'm just drawing a blank
right now. And they wanted to sound like community, and
they're calling the Fiser vaccine is now commernity. Yeah, there's
a joke that nobody gets right. They're not they're not
understanding it because they don't know what they don't know
what m RNA is. Right, it's a type of vaccine
which which is using proteins that build up antibodies. It
doesn't use a life virus anyway. Blah blah blah. So

(11:28):
that that that brilliant idea was like one guy was saying,
I got an idea. Let's take the code from COVID,
the murna from m r and A and and the
itdy from whatever, yeah, and murder she wrote, and it
we'll call it commernity. You know what her name was
working really well, the Fiser vaccine that was working, that

(11:49):
that one, that one right there. A hundred million people
were like called it that you called it that, That's
what it was. Now they're like, what's commernity? Is it tested?
Is approved? Yeah? The mistake that's a marketing blunder, yeah,
I would say so. Yeah. So anyway, so there's that
just some housekeeping we had to you know, sweep up
a little bit. We haven't really you know, talked about
that stuff in a while. Um. We did um Alive

(12:12):
broadcast last week from Jenkinson's Point, Pleasant Beach, where we
were being the other Strand morning show, not the Brooklyn Boys. Correct, correct,
although we may have some good Brooklyn Boys news where
we may be able to all hang out soon in
a couple of locations. We're working on there there in
the pipeline. As we say an apologies to all the
people that were there looking for Brody and Scary Scary
and Brody because it was just scary. Yeah, I was.

(12:34):
He was not at the Jenkins. I met a couple
of slices. We took some pictures. It was great. I
did I did you know, say I wish Brody was here.
He was unable to be here. Yeah, for lack of
being invited. Well it wasn't my invite, No, it was not. No,
they were keeping the staff small and uh, They're like,
you know, you don't have to come. I'm like, all right,
it's fine. So it wasn't offended by it. It It was

(12:55):
what it is. But it was because they were keeping
the staff small, the stage small, and you know we
are going to be doing some Brooklyn Boys. Hold on,
they used my c fish on Mendez so showing you welcome. Yeah,
and then so yeah, so we will be doing Brooklyn
Boys stuff coming. And by the way, it's not the
Pike line. It's either coming down the pike or coming
down the in the in the pipeline on the pipeline
or pike, but not on the pipe, down on the

(13:17):
pipe or pike, but not Pike line. That that's incorrect.
It's price line not yes, ok, alright, So so I
want to get into this, and I know you have
some things that you want to bring up as well,
and grammar police. I feel like you just grammar police
a little bit. How how did you do that? The pikeline,
the pikeline? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a little lesson

(13:38):
because someone said Pike line. Someone someone emailed about the
Pike line, and I'm like, no, it's not the Pike line.
All right, because I have some I'm ready for some
grammar police when you tell me, we're ready, So you want,
let's do a quick grammar police and then we um yeah,
well yeah yeah, and then yeah, once again, this was
not scripted. This was unplanned, and it sounds like a

(13:59):
police It sounds like it was That's fine. I gotta
look at my notes now with some of the other Yeah,
go ahead, I gotta get the jingle. I gotta get
I gotta get kick kids. Police is one more thing
I was, you're off police. Yeah, people make mistakes. I

(14:23):
called my cor insurance company, and again the woman said,
then number you work at, you work at the insurance company.
We have to retire some of these. We gotta hang
We gotta lift jersey up from the rafters. Raptors. Rafters rafters, rafters,
Raptors are from Oh, raptors are from Jurassic Park, a

(14:45):
movie you promised our listeners you're gonna finally watch. I
will so yeah. So some of them, like or vin
An a t M. We should hang up and we
should not even address anymore because they're just these keep
coming up. We need new examples of grammar police. Okay,
so h L So this was sent to me by
uh Mike Sinhauer. I believe now it wasn't. It wasn't

(15:09):
sent to me by Mike Senhauser. It was sent to
me by Oh, dear God. I'm so sorry, um oh,
I don't know who said that to me. I apologize.
But there's a place in Texas called El Royo and
people use it as a meme, and they put they
make it look like a like a church sign with
the white letter black letters on the white. I don't

(15:29):
know if it designs real. It's photoshop. It's his irony
is when someone writes, you're an idiot, why oh you are?
Why oh you are right? And I find I when
you when you were on political TikTok. That expression is
used all the time, really, when you're yeah bye bye yes,
how how so well. I don't want to stereotype, but

(15:54):
some people who may lean on one side of political TikTok,
when they insult you, they say you're an idiot, use
a wrong yours. So somebody tagged me in this I
apologize right. So then everybody who was posting was posting
with deliberate bad grammar. So a guy named Mike wrote
too funny t O but he did it deliberately. So
then this girl I r E I c h L,

(16:15):
I reach, I reach right, she wrote. She replied to
him and wrote t O O question mark. Oh my god,
it's just stupid. Right, So I wrote joke question mark
and she wrote, um, no he was wrong or something

(16:38):
and short for sure, And I wrote no, no, I
was pointing out the other person was making a joke
with the wrong two and didn't need to be corrected,
And she wrote, I understand. What I want to know
is why is this important to you? And I said,
why was it important to you to correct the grammar
of someone who's making an obvious joke on a bad
grammar post? So that was, you know what I mean? Like,

(17:04):
She's like, why do you do you care? You cared first,
you corrected a guy on a bad grammar post, thinking
you one up him, and it was it was deliberate.
He deliberately wrote it wrongs. Oh my god. Okay, alright,
so I I have one grammar police. Here's one. This
is from um Phoenix Morrigan love the last line of

(17:28):
this trucker drawing. Okay, first of all, it's a two parter.
First of all, this is a sign. I don't know
possibly how Remy Martin, a big brand of liquor, uh
could get this wrong. But this person says, I don't
this does not sound right. I can't decide if it's
wrong or not. So Remy Martin has a it's a
red sign and it's just says Remy Martin. One life period,

(17:52):
Live them, period, so that's their slogan. It's just and
actually it's professionally written, so they did it on purpose.
Brodie Remy Martin, one life, Live them, Now, that would
that would speak to the fact that you have several
lives because it lives them, because otherwise you would say
live it right or life go live them. Like to everybody,

(18:18):
it still makes no sense. One life period, live them period.
That's it. So if it was one life, live it,
that should make sense. But the fact that it says
them is throwing phoenix off. Live them. I don't think
that works. I don't know. And then there's um a

(18:40):
truck driver signing this was a poster somewhere and they
screenshot at it, uh and basically it was just all
these instructions on what to do at this place, and
it says thank you for your patients at the end,
where patients was spelled p A T I E N T. Yeah,
that a patients one. All right, back to your grammar police.

(19:02):
So Governor Cuomo of New York, right, but he's he'll
always be governed a Cuomo. That's the way the title works.
He stepped down, right, And so every article I read
said he's stepping down Monday at midnight, Monday at midnight.
The problem is he was stepping down at midnight Tuesday morning,

(19:28):
midnight Tuesday, right. So I'm I'm writing a report Sunday, right,
I'm writing report for Elvis, the local New York stories.
So I want to be accurate as to when Governor
Cuomo is stepping down. And every one of them says,
first thing, Monday at midnight, Sunday night at midnight, No,

(19:49):
it was, it was. It was Tuesday morning. So Monday nine,
one minute later is when he resigned. So it was
Tuesday at midnight. You understand what I'm saying. Midnight starts
the next day. I know we think of it like, oh,
tonight at midnight, I'm gonna go out, but it's technically
the calendar. You look at your phone, look at your watch,
the day switches. And that was a problem. Also, I

(20:11):
don't know if this is a grammar police um as
much as um it's a peeve, that's grammatically a problem. Scary.
I was listening to a commercial on the radio, a
DJ last week, a DJ I'm not gonna say who
it is, and they were talking about how much they

(20:33):
love this time of year because it's the return of
pumpkin spice. And man, do I love pumpkin Oh? No,
there's no. There's no fucking pumpkin in pumpkin spice. All
pumpkin spices is cinnamon and things like that. Scary. Is
there steak in steak sauce? No? Is there duck in

(20:56):
duck sauce? Right, it's pumpkins spice because it's the spice
you put on a pumpkin. Duck sauce is the sauce
you put on a duck. Steak sauce is the sauce
you put on a steak. Have you tasted pumpkin It
tastes like glop. It's like you have pumpkin pie pie.
There's pumpkin and pumpkin pie. But but the thing it's

(21:18):
almost tasteless. The thing that makes pumpkin pie amazing is
the stuff that's in it with it, the ingredients. So
this guy is going on about I love pumpkin pie,
I love pumpkin cheesecake. Oh, and pumpkin spice. Anything pumpkin,
I'll eat it, except there's no pumpkin. Like many years ago,
I heard someone say I can't pumpkin spice. I can't

(21:39):
eat pumpkin, like, oh my god, oh my grammar police
thing is, which is why it is. So that's like,
that's like people the people who the same people who
thought that the coronavirus was was made because of the
Corona beer. Corona Beer gave you coronavirus. You got that
audio clip for me? Yeah, we do right after this.

(22:01):
All right, we're a clock, my friend. You have to
edit where I talked over the bump. No, you know what,
I'll do that, all right, thank you a long time.
All right, So continuing the grammar police, I just want
to I want to listen. I love the guy, um,
but scary. You know when you see at the corner
of your eye, right, yeah, that's your I'm not gonna

(22:25):
say what it is because it may give away with
the clips. So during a Mets game, uh, Gary Cohen's
the first voice you'll hear, and and and Todd ziel
who's a who's a former player. Played played for a
lot of teams in baseball nine or ten, maybe seven
or eight. You had a couple of classics for the Mets. Yeah,
great guy, great player, very talented. He's usually in he's

(22:45):
eating the studio for the postgame show. But he was
filling in and I'm not picking on him, but we
do a grammar police segment. So they were talking about
the white line of the batter's box and in Dodger
Stadium because somebody years ago was was distracted by the
thick lines that go around the batter's box where you stand.
They made them thinner. He has to make them thinner
instead of talking about why are you looking down at

(23:07):
the ground when you should be looking at the picture? Correct?
So I play the long clip why are you playing skimbones?
Got skonies yet? Last night? I'll tell you what. I'm
gonna edit that out. No you're not sure, doesn't mean

(23:31):
I mean that your focus is not where it should
be on the picture and it's a release point. Yeah,
unless you've got the most amazing peripheral vision. I've heard that.
I've heard that a lot. It's not peripheral. Again, unless
you've got the most amazing peripheral vision. Not peripheral. It's
never peripheral, but common mistake, peripheral, peripheral, peripheral, or you

(23:57):
can talk about your periphery, the peripher free. It's it's
either periphery or peripheral. But it's not peripheral. Right, it's
even harder to say it it is. It is so
all right, Um, we're done with ground and police for
the moment. Yeah, so god. You know I was telling
you teasing about the broadcast last week and then we

(24:18):
went down right, But the night before was really where
the fun was. Um. We talked about this on the air.
It became a topic. I was saving you for the
Brooklyn Boys, but I'm like, this is too good not
to give to the big show. And we talked about
it a little bit. And I want your opinion because
you didn't really get to speak in chime in on
that did not we were talking about would think and say.

(24:39):
Swear to God, I swear to God. We were sat
in the ugly room. I'm telling you it's a thing.
It is a thing. We've talked about this on the podcast, right,
I know. Well, that's why I'm bringing it back. So
we went to this great sushi spot. Not gonna go
beyond that because I want to go back there again. Um.
And then well, we sat in the ugly room. We

(25:01):
walked through the front of the front of the dining
room where the bar was, where it's nice and colorful
and bright, and you see all these beautiful people sitting
down to eat. And then we go through the second
thanks Malon Manson the beautiful people. They're beautiful people. And
then they go to the second room and again there's
some nice people in there. Whatever, but there was like whatever.
And then the third room was the room in the back.

(25:22):
And by the way, I've eaten his restaurant three times.
All three times I've been pushed to the back. All
three times, I've had a reservation, like a proper reservation
in advance. So I think the second you get up
to the front, they look at you, they judge you,
and they're like, all right, we're gonna bring him to
the table, which, by the way, great pizza or is
that table eighties seven? Table seven? These guys are getting

(25:45):
going to the back, so they bring us to the back.
I look around while we sat down. It was me,
it was straight and Eate, it was Gandhi, and it
was one of our sales friends. And the four of
us sit down. It was not Brodie, not Brody, not
Brody and not Brody. Was that well would you have
helped to make because to put us in the not
ugly room? Is that where you're going this scene, you
would not have. So we sat there and I'm looking

(26:07):
around and I'm sorry. There was some There were some families.
There was There was some older families. They were people
looked like they were celebrating their their parents fifties anniversary.
There was some they were the clumps you know from
Nutty Professor. There were people like that. It was meaning
like it means they were like heavier people that eat
a lot. And I'm like, oh my god. There were

(26:28):
people that were dressed down. There were the flip flops
and T shirts, shorts, people that not like unkempt looking people.
And I'm sitting around. I'm like, there is not one
hot person in here. I'm like, why are we sitting
were we've been fucking They put us in the ugly room, Brodie,
Now who are you with? I was with straight Nate,
who's a charming young man, a good looking guy. Gandhi

(26:50):
good looking woman. And Brittany from our sales team very attractive.
So here we are. You brought the average down so
much it had to be I don't know what it was.
They're all attractive. Well, Nate had the balls to ask
the waitress. By the end, of the meal. We must
have had too much saki. He got a little uh,
you know, we got beer muscles, you know, and start
getting that with that liquid confidence, you know, and he's like, hey,

(27:14):
excuse me, my friend over here and he points to
me wants a note. Did you just sit us in
the ugly room? Are we in the ugly room right now?
And she immediately, she immediately was like, no, absolutely not,
what are you talking about. There's no such thing. And
then she goes back to the kitchen and then the
pretty rooms. God, god god. He was like, dude, she's

(27:37):
totally telling everybody on the staff they know we sat
them in the ugly room. Yeah. Absolutely, How true is
this if you are listening to this and you're a slice,
and just let us know if you ever the place
you worked at and if you worked in a restaurant,
is there such a thing, because I don't know. Everyone

(27:57):
at Nate and Gandhi and even Brittany were like, no
such thing is the ugly room. There's no no, you're
just dreaming. But we walked out. The only people that
were at the window, you know, visible from the sidewalk
when you walk by, we're pretty people in the window.
So if there's no ugly room, at the very least
you put they put the pretty people at the window.

(28:17):
The pretty people sit at the window. Did I tell you?
Did I ever tell you? What happened? When I went
to a taping of UM Unplugged MTV Unplugged with the
thirty seconds to Mars Jared Letto, I feel like a
slice right now. I was going, yeah, you did, he
might you might have? It was it was ten years
ago maybe so thirty seconds to Mars will be Jared

(28:38):
Leto whenever the This Is War album came out, which
is fantastic album. So I called. I called some people
in the industry. When I say the industry, of course,
I mean the business, and I get I get tickets
for me and for my wife to go to see
thirty seconds to Mars unplugged, right, And it was mostly

(28:59):
Jared Letto because it's just him on a guitar and chicks.
And it wasn't all hot chicks. It was it was
you know, kids that are like old kids, goth kids
that were kids and not grown as men. Well, you know,
it was ten years ago, so I was ten years younger,
but I was still grown ass man whatever, and my
wife looks a lot younger than she is at you know,
And so we went. We were like old people, but

(29:21):
we weren't young people whatever. And we got there early,
and so they kept us waiting three hours outside in
Harlem uptown in the heat. It was in the summer.
That's how late it was before they let us in.
They told us get there at like five o'clock whatever
it was. So it was almost three hours before we
got inside, right, And we go in and it's it's
set up like a church. So there you probably go

(29:41):
watch it online if you could see the episode. And
this church pews two rows where everyone's sitting, so they
seed everybody. They see us and they go, yeah, hang
back right here, hang back with it right, okay. I'm like, okay, okay, fine,
And they put everybody in their seats based on the
and they put some people off to the side. We
were we weren't in the front, we were maybe in
the middle. So they were putting people like ten at

(30:03):
a time in the room. Okay. So we get in
the room and my wife and I are standing off
to the side. We told it was over, it was
always sold, and I said, look, we're industry people. Like,
I this was I got these passes from so and
so we don't need to sit. Well, just there's like
there were seats off to the side. My wife was
fine with that. We didn't need to be that right, okay.

(30:24):
So he's doing like sound check and everyone's in their
seats right and and he's like he's got a microphone
and he's like going, let's change these seats out, and
he's pointing to people as if they're not human. He's like, oh,
let's get these guys, let's switch out right here please,
meaning like and there was a couple of overweight girls.
He made him sit in the back and then and

(30:45):
then he's like, do you guys know the lyrics? Yeah,
well let me hear you. And he like he started
singing and anyone who didn't know all the words, Yeah,
these guys, let's go swit search them out. Literally, you're
just you're just pawns on a set. You're just he
just moving objects around. You're just an object to him.
And you would think, because they're gonna film it for
TV right right now, you would think scary. He would

(31:05):
have a stage manager who would like, go, uh, fat girl,
gotta move to the fact girl, get the girl out
in the in the over like as terrible as that is,
he did it himself. He stood there five ft in
front of the people, going, can we can we swap
out the front row and the half the left row,
like like making it really obvious who he was moving

(31:27):
and why right right, But he made it like they
know the lyrics and then he's like, I need people
who allowed you guys are loud enough, but he was trying.
They were bringing hot people up to the front. Of course,
what happened was the people in charge of seating well
like you know, like a teenage volunteers, you know, people
were They weren't like part of his road crew. So
once they sat everybody, he then unsat them, yeah, musical

(31:51):
chairs because he wanted to make sure that it looked
right on for his camera. Almost an hour scary of this, right,
they still didn't stall. My wife says to me, it's
been four hours, let's just go. So we left. We
didn't even wait because Jared Letto was having like a
diva moment and we It's funny because we met Jared
Letto up at the radio station years later. It couldn't

(32:12):
have been the nicest guy couldn't been any nicer. Rather, well,
it's all optics. You know, the same thing happened with
me with SNL when I went to go taping of SNL.
They put you on Sunday. You're not saying you're the
dress rehearsal Sunday. There's the dress rehearsal, the live show,
and then there's the post show. You could sit in
the chairs after everybody's gone to the AFT partist and

(32:32):
you work in zee on you right, Yeah, yeah, great,
Hey we're gonna have a huge after party night. Really. Yeah,
it's amazing. Yeah, I mean just film seat while we're Yeah,
so you know what, we got sat in the We
got sat in the balcony, which never gets on TV
because you know that those you know, there's like twenty
five chairs on the floor that every time they cut
to somebody or whatever. Sometimes there's the people, the pretty

(32:54):
people in the audience. Tell me the slovenly toothless guy.
Never got there first, never got there early. It's only
the young they literally looking people. Now, we were definitely, yeah,
we were. They were casting us as we were walking
into the room like nope, you two go over there.
Wait a second, I'm in the back on the side.

(33:15):
All I could see is that the dry wall from
from the set, I can't even see the state right
right about a fucking line of sight. But no, they
do that. But but do they do it on a
restaurant level. They, I absolutely believe they do. I did well.
They do. We do. We have discussed. They do it
in the clothing stores for people that they you know,

(33:38):
there's a people that work in the front of house,
and then then there's the heart of the house, the
back of the house. Yeah, the the ugly people and
the unattractive and the randoms you guys go go to.
You guys are in the back of the stock room.
Everybody pretty on a cash register, yeah, maybe, but the
pretty people are the ones on the floor walking around
out front, out front in the you know, the green

(34:00):
they have those two the fucking the Barbie and the
Kendall right right front and their swimsuits at Hollister Abcrombie.
I don't even know what it is. Rouelle saw my name,
that's what they call it. They call it door horse. Yeah,
so there is a there is a pecking order. So
I felt like bringing it back. Sushi, even sushi on
a Thursday night we got put in the third room

(34:23):
because I don't know we were we were definitely now
were the front two rooms. Film We were profiled. This
is this is profiling. I was profiled. Ugly lives matter,
Yes they know. God oh man, Um, I had a
conversation with a guy scary. If you were there, you

(34:45):
would have had to hold me back the frustration level.
So um, yeah, we're gonna get to that. We're gonna
get to that. Yeah, right after this, sir, it's the
Boys podcast. Okay, So um uh you you I've told
you my mom's as a home in an adult community, right,

(35:09):
And it's so it's it's just once you go in
the gate, in the front gate, you go through security.
It's a massive property with a golf course and it's
all winding roads. It's its own streets like everything. It's
like a whole town by itself. Right, and there's um,
there's a deli near the entrance, okay, and the Delhi

(35:30):
has everything and it's so like if you don't want
to leave the property, you can go there and get
you can get pizza, you can get breakfast, get a
frilly cheese, steaks, sandwich, whatever you want. They have everything. Okay,
they have everything where where my mom's houses is like
a block and a half away from this place. So
whenever i'm you know, I want to go get something, uh,

(35:54):
it's usually i'll walk because it's like right there and
it's there's a so the way, the way the place gos.
You come in, you make some turns and you pass
this thing. Right, you passed the building where you could
park and walk in. Okay, but there's a parking lot.

(36:14):
But I've never been in the parking lot because I
don't know how to get in the parking lot. Does
that make sense? There's I don't know what the entrance is.
When you come in the gate, you see the security guard,
there's no entrance there. And when you swing around to
the back side where the door is, there's no entrance there.
So you do you this? I So I called up

(36:34):
I make it order last week and I say, hey, uh,
he goes, oh, we're closing in ten minutes. Go I'll
come right over. So I great, you food to be ready.
So I jumped in the car and I said, I go,
you know, I'll park in the parking lot right up
by the door. And I can't. I can't. I can't
find the entrance. I'm looking everywhere. Kit So I park
on the side and I have to walk a little

(36:55):
bit to get to the front door. So I get
my food. I say to the guy, uh, hey, how
do you get into this parking lot? And he says, yeah,
he's just going the entrance. What do you mean you
mean you want to get out? Nope? How do you
get into the parking lot? He says, the same, the
same way you leave. You just you go out, you

(37:15):
make a left. I said, no, no, I don't know
how to get into the parking lot. Well, you're here, right.
How did you get here? I'm parking on the side.
How do you get in the parking lot? Oh, the
entrances is by the front. It's not by the front.
I was just there. Yeah, you just go in. I go?
How do he said? I don't stand what you mean?
I go? How do I drive into the parking lot?
He says, you just go straight and we're right here.

(37:36):
So I go, you know, I go. Please, I'm gonna go.
Forgive me. I said to him myself, Sorry, I'm not
being clear. I would like to drive my car into
the parking lot. I have never driven my car into
the parking lot. I don't know how to get into
the parking lot. He says, it's right by the entrance.
You go to the entrance, it's right there. I said,
I went to the entrance, it's not there. I made
a you turn, came all the way back around. It's

(37:58):
not there. He says, Well, because when you leave, Because
when you leave, just look how where you're leaving. You'll
see the exit. I go, I can't. I'm not in
the parking lot. Well, then how did you get in?
I got not in? How do I get in? The
scary this one on the comedy sketch. I've seen this before,
I know, but I like, I said, Sir, I don't

(38:18):
know what what words to use. I said, listen to me.
My car is on the street to the left of
the door. How do I get my car in the
parking lot? He says, Well, there's no entrance over there. Yes,
I know that. How do I get and see the
other cars? See these other cars? How do they get in?
There were actually talking to him by the time I

(38:40):
got to this point, like sir pleased because I already
had my food so I couldn't spit in it. So
I'm like, look, I'm not trying to I'm not trying
to be difficult. Now. Look there was nobody in their cars.
I would have asked them. Nobody was getting out of
the cars. There was no one else. They were closing
in five minutes, so the cars were probably only the employees, right,
And the employees are all in the back cleaning up
and this, I and this. So I'm like, please, I

(39:02):
want to get in the parking lot next time. He's like, well,
you just gotta go in the entrance. When you leave,
you'll see it. He would not. I never found out not,
I never not compute. I still do not know how
to get in that fucking parking lot. Poor guy, poor guy,
not not poor guy. By the way, his name is Paul.

(39:24):
Fuck you, Paul you, Paul you. Paul boy, the Jersey boy,
the Jersey kid. He has great tease theory. Is anyone
named actually feeds him? Yeah, you have to keep credit. Yeah,
he's time. Yeah, it's time. Was a problem. Um so

(39:47):
um yeah, no, I mean I don't know, it's right there.
Just go. It's just like that, when you pull out,
you'll see it, you know. Um. I was with my
friends the other night and I wanted to uh, And
I don't know if you're like this? Are you like this?

(40:08):
Are you you and your friends? Me and my friends?
Know who? What them? One of these days you're gonna
come out and you're gonna hang out with us. Yeah,
as long as you don't say me and my friends,
I might show my friends and I my friends and
I I have to say goodbye to everybody in the room.
I I and I mentioned this briefly on the Big Show,
and I around the room. I'm the king of the

(40:29):
long goodbye. Oh that's the Jewish goodbye? That did you right?
Did Jewish goobye? Because as the Irish goodbye, it was
where you just disappear. About where it might go? Right?
But I can't and I don't know what it is.
I'm trying to be better at it because I feel
like it'd be more efficient in life and I'd be
able to hit my target and go. But if you're
with a group of seven or eight people, and maybe

(40:50):
you know your best friends with maybe two, and then
there's a couple of close friends, and then there's a
couple of acquaintances or people you just met for the
first time because they're friends of friends, well, do you
care about that them or you never see them? That's
the thing. What's the cut off and saying goodbye to people?
If let's just say you're at a bar, okay and
you know there's people scattered around, I have to go
over to everybody, shake hands, asia soon, take care of goodbye.

(41:13):
You're like the mayor. I think what you gotta do
is go your buddies. You go, hey, hey, Darren, Mike, Steve, Pete, guys, Bobby,
Bobby making and Mike making my next weekend. Hey you guys,
was great, a great time to night. Byebye. You give
a group to the rest of them, you give the
group wave. You go always so you do, you do
personalized shake hands goodbye with your friends. Right, and then

(41:34):
you tell you tell your best buddy, right, you tell it,
you tell you tell Mike, you go, Mike. If I
wasted anybody, just you know, tell my sig about I'll
call you tomorrow. Yeah yeah, yeah, but you don't. You can't.
So so with me, my my wife will tell me,
like in the night, hey we're leaving at nine, Just
be ready with leaving at nine, right, then she'll talking
to me and go start saying goodbye, start start start

(41:56):
because like like because you you need to wind up
like I do. Like if it depends on where we are,
So you do you are? You are a Jewish person
who does the Jewish goodbye? Well that's what I have
to Yeah, you show your wife's not Irish. I'm sure
she's not. No, she just knows that I need the time, Okay,
But but I do agree to sneak out. I think
the cutoff there is definitely everybody else gets the wave.

(42:20):
It's like yeah at some point, yeah, because I don't
know who you are. I met you tonight, I'm not
probably not gonna see you again, and then you're again.
It depends on the mix. Like like, so my cousins
have a Halloween party every year where the whole family goes.
If I'm there, I gotta say goodbye everybody. But that's
that's the problem. If you're trapped in a house and

(42:40):
see a bar. Setting is a little bit more informal.
But if you were invited to somebody's house and you're
at a party at a house, now you're in a
situation where not only do you have to say goodbye
to the host, but if you have to walk past
people to get to the door. You gotta say goodbye
to everybody. Well, the other thing you can do is,
let's say you're mingling right, you know you're leaving at nine.
You can talk to you can talk to phil at

(43:01):
like and go, hey, listen, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm
leaving within the next half hour or so, so I
don't see you have a great night. So you don't.
You don't have to go back to the double background.
You let him know I'm going. I respect you as
a human being. You're you know you're not You're not
a dick. But you know I'm not coming back for you.
I don't like you enough to come back at five
to nine. He'll understand that, you know what I mean.

(43:23):
And it's also out of the conversation. The other thing is,
I don't want to be the guy who's lingering so
long saying that I'm leaving, and then they they come
out up to you like, dude, I don't you left
a half hour? Are you gonna leave a half still here?
Still there? Because what happens is if you go, if
you go to your best friends first, now you're you're
saying goodbye to the stragglers, your best friend's like, why
you're still here? But if you think about the stragglers

(43:44):
stragglers first, then they see you're like, wait a minute,
now he's talking to his buddies. He fucking blew me off.
So you can't do that either. If you go to
the stragglers first, they're gonna hate you because now they're like, oh,
he's said goodbye to me at seven thirty, still here
at nine o'clock saying goodbye. But if you say to them, listen,
I gotta stought to goodbyes. You know I could listen.
It was great meat seeing you. You're good. Hey, hey,

(44:07):
Matt's huh, let's go yeah, yeah, hey uh. Then you
get you're fine, but you you gotta get you gotta
make it quick. You once. It's a mixed company, but
you don't owe them anything whatever That gets a bullus.
Happened to me twice in the past week where I
took me a half hour to get the funk out
of there, once with my friends and then last week
at the broadcast you weren't invited to with Jenkinson's. Yeah,

(44:27):
they had. They had a party going all afternoon and
and I just kept running into salespeople and I kept
running into and worst if you don't say goodbye to
them and then nobody notices, well if you go, hey, hey, Charlie.
I didn't say a body of the thing. I feel bad.
He was like, oh, well when did you leave? There
is a right you're right, you're right. Well, yeah, that

(44:49):
party I got drunk at. You know, we was the
middle of the afternoon. I did some day drinking. Me
and my girlfriend. We were there all afternoon, my girlfriend
and I. We were there all afternoon because we were
just given these drink tickets, like you know, the ones
that they spit out for ski ball, like the raffle
tickets instead of the pencil shopping are you went for
the other which, by the way, um I could have

(45:10):
I could have easily brought my own raffle. I could
have brought a Staples unlimited free drink tickets all afternoon.
Ski Ball maybe America's first or one of the first
ever scambonies ski Ball ski Should I play the jingle
that I accidentally played earlier? Sure? I played the Scambony
Jingle Tour. Yeah, so you could you could hit the

(45:37):
five fifty? Is no Google? Ski ball? You don't know
what ski ball is? Come on now, for some people
s k e ball. No, But just for people that doesn't,
it's a it's an arcade game, or it's the kind
of game if you're on a boardwalk or a pier
where like you roll a brown wooden ball up up
a ramp and then it goes into holes that have

(46:00):
different point value. You've seen them, the circular rubber circular
rubber things. Explain what football is next. Some people don't
know what skill is, all right, I understand that, but
just google ski ball anyway. The point of ski ball
or any games where you get tickets. Right, Let's say
if the claw game and every time, every time you
hit your points you could get the perfect score. You

(46:22):
could stand up at the top of the game and
drop the ball in the top hole every time. You
will never get the amount of tickets for the value
of anything. So if if you get a hundred tickets,
you're gonna get a toy that is not worth a dollar.
That's just how it works. So if you and then
to get those tickets, how much money do you have
to pump into that machine? Whatever you spent. Let's say

(46:44):
let's say you spend fifty cents right to play the game,
usually a quarter, but let's say it's fifty cents a
dollar whatever the rip off places charging you. Right, let's
say you put in a cents. You can't get cents
worth of tickets. It's when you go you and your girlfriend,
like I got twenty three d tickets. Like do you

(47:05):
want the pencil or the inflatable bat? I love those
people by the ways, they're sitting there so proud they Honey,
I want that ship for you. Yeah, okay, the Chinese
finger trap or a stuff wood would pecker, that's jes

(47:31):
You can have the plastic ring with the carrot on
it and tell youybody have a one carrot ring. Or
you can get the the butterfly, the plastic butterfly. Well,
the one military man, you get the one army man.
You're never know. It's fun for kids. I get it.
But that's the bit that's oh my god, it's a scamboni.
It's like to shoot the ball in the basketball hoop

(47:53):
and then if you see an aerial shot, you see
the rims are slightly oval. Yeah, and the ball doesn't
go in it that it does off you put it
like dead Center. We've talked about had an episode we
were talking about ski body, so I speak, it's not
a scam. But I saw a guy. It was such

(48:13):
a slick move at the Verizon store. I want. I
shook the guy's hand while I I fist bumped him
because you know pandemic. Uh it was a couple of
weeks ago, because my hand either. So anyway, so, um this,
this guy next to me was returning his Verizon cable

(48:34):
box and his Verizon remote. Okay, he had like two
boxes too remotes. And a woman comes in and she says, hey, um,
I lost I lost my remote. I need a new
remote or it's though it says it's dead. My remote's dead.
That's what it was, or something like that, and they go, well,
it's whatever. I think it was like fifteen bucks. They

(48:57):
got fifteen bucks for a new one. So the guy
sitting next to me with the two cable boxes and
two remotes, he excuse me, kind of trump for a second.
So he says yeah. I says, let me ask you
a question. I'm returning two cable boxes and two remotes.
If one of my remotes doesn't work anymore, am I
gonna get charged for that? So so the guy says no,
because if you're handing it in. He goes, okay, great, honey,
here you go, gives him his remote that works, and

(49:19):
takes to prokeram him and totally hooked her up. Nice. Yes,
that's good that we like, we love that move. That
really was And then he did it without doing He's
not trying to say that he hooked her up, No,
he's just like, oh, I think he's like, that's my remote.
He's remote winner. And the guy at the store didn't
carries like, oh, good move, good move. He didn't care man,

(49:40):
and the girl was like, oh, that's awesome. There are
great people in this world. Yeah, so she got a
remote because the guy was like, I'm just handing in
my remote. Take mine a man. I love that. How
was that for a smooth operator? Yeah, you missed your opportunity.
I just said smooth operator. That was before the commercial though.
I know you right, all right, chardon chardonnay, alright, commernity Shart.

(50:09):
It sounds like something in your underwear. I have to
tell you something, and I know you don't look. You
know I'm pro vaccine, But if you told me, who're
putting commernity in my arm? I might say no commercy. Commercy.
That's how bad that name is. That's a terrible name.
It's off like I'm all about it, but that's a
terrible name. I just it's just terrible. So last week
in the Northeast, we had a hurricane or hurricane sort

(50:32):
of a tropical store. By the time it got to us,
it was that is a terrible name. I understand it
comes from the expelled H E N R I, but
it's hey, you know something, we call it Henry if
it destroys your house, fucking Henry. Somewhere in the somewhere
in the Atlantic. It turned into a hurricane for a minute,

(50:54):
but that's what captured the headlines. And then by the
time it hit it was by the time it blew
through what we were at the Jersey Shore and into
the Northeast and there Connecticut Long Island, it was it
became a tropical storm and then a depression. All right,
So that's usually the way storms go. I had empty
the water out of my pool. We got so many,
did you really well? Yeah, like not the whole water,

(51:15):
but uh so I would say I emptied out, oh boy,
for about a foot of water. Yeah, so we have
a wow. Okay, well this is what would Brody do for?
Because I was stuck in a in a bit of
a pickle, if you know what I mean, and a
dill pickle, as long as the pickle wasn't stuck in you. Yeah,

(51:36):
well you know we've had that happened before. Not not mate,
You tried to ask your own day, ask your own pickle.
So so so so I was. I was planned. I
had planned to go to the Jersey Shore for an
extended weekend because we were going to be down there anyway.
So I had booked, uh Friday night, Saturday night. Now
you cannot get out of the reservation, um be for

(52:00):
you know you have seven days in advance. Is when
you have now a lot of places in tourist attraction
areas at the shore and the beaches. They put this
in place because they don't want you to see the
weather on a Thursday and then cancel your whole fucking
weekend they want so they don't want you to cancel,
and they get stuck with an empty room. Well that's
exactly what. You cancel the weekend and then they're stuck

(52:20):
so with bad with bad weather and no revenue. So
what they do is they force you into this, the
seven day cancelation policy. So this way you bear, you
don't really know what the weather is gonna be. It's
it's a crapshoot, right, so you're planned in advance. And
and yes, I've done that in the past, and I've
gotten screwed over in the past. Where oh funk, it's
a rainy weekend. But I have to just eat kro

(52:40):
or I have to pay the money and I have
to show up. So I went to one of my
you know, one of my favorite hotels, the Shore. I'm
not going to mention their name once again. Uh. And
then I brought into Friday night, Saturday night, I'll be there,
and all through the week I was a good soldier.
I'm gonna be there, yep. And then the weather was

(53:00):
coming right this this by the way, stop. I I know,
we don't get to name everything americanized, but that's not
anyways so much too difficult. So so I actually stuck
with it. I'm like, let's see how bad this gets.
So Friday comes around, Friday night, I stay there. It

(53:21):
was kind of crappy. It was like Friday night Saturday daytime.
They have a heated pool it's cloudy out, it doesn't
really rain. So we're trying to enjoying the day, but
the warnings were coming through. Get home. It's treacherous. It's
gonna be treacherous. It's gonna be there's gonna be flooding,
there's gonna be high winds. You don't want to be
in this. You don't want to be And all I'm
thinking about is what is it going to be like

(53:42):
when I wake up on Sunday morning at the shore?
Am I gonna what's gonna happen? Is it gonna be flooded?
And is it gonna be raining? I have to be
I'm making a trap there because road is gonna be
closed down, power lines and trees, you know how this
ship goes. So my girlfriend and I made a concerted well.
We made a decision that on Saturday evening we were

(54:04):
gonna take a shower and get dressed and instead of
going out to eat at the shore with the weather
coming and then waking up there on Sunday morning, we
were gonna go. We were just gonna just pack our
ship and check out checked out at seven thirty pm
and just head north and just go eat at home.
Ended up going to Fushimi. I wanted whatever we ate,

(54:27):
we ate, We had a great meal. Whatever that was that.
David Brodie, what would you do do out to the
Jersey Shore on a storm weekend? Damn? Okay, fuck you.
I was already in. I was balls deep in my reservation.
So and I already did the Friday night and we
were gonna stay Saturday night. We had every intention. What
would would you? Would you then on the back end,

(54:50):
just first of all, would you just chalk it up
as a loss? I lose my money for Saturday night,
see you later? Or do you try and have a
conversation with the people after the storm passes on Monday morning,
you call the office and see what's up. No, I
would preempt He's what I would do. So you decided
to leave on Saturday, right, yes, Saturday, not and not
stay Saturday evening? Right because of all the warnings. Right,

(55:11):
but this is already seven o'clock at night, so they
can't possibly rent. They were comparing it to Minnie Sandy, okay,
which was a bad hurricane that storm. Yeah, okay, So
if you had left it like three in the afternoon,
you'd have more of a case. But you're already half
way into the night, you've already used the Saturday room.

(55:32):
But I know what I've done. What I would have done, Well,
you've saved them on the hotel, the making the bed,
I guess or whatever. So here's what I would say.
I would call the hotel right before I left and say, hey,
you got any rooms available, and they go, yeah, we
got plenty of rooms available. Now I've got now, I've got, now,
I've got Now, you got proof. And now they can't say, oh,

(55:53):
we could have turned You could have turned the room around,
because you know, damn well, nobody was going to be
coming in to rent a room, right so they want
to take your money and not give it back. But
it wasn't like they would have lost money. They would
have been even because you didn't stay in there. Now
you could have said, look, I understand how he's doing.
For a couple of hours. The room was two hundred bucks,
I'll give you seventy five. Let's I'm a regular customer here,

(56:14):
let's let's do right. Let's you know, or I'll you
know what I'll do, I'll right now, I'll book next
weekend right now, and I'll give you the money. Well,
but you. You, I understand why they charged you. You
waited too long. You waited into like because you get
your room at like one o'clock, you're six hours in
your you you put the tip in at that point.
I know. So I I called them on Monday morning

(56:38):
and I said, look, here's my hardship. And they understood
where I was coming from. Look I just got out
of there. They completely understood. They completely understood. She calls
me back today and says, um, I spoke to the
general manager Mr Skiery, Mr Skery. They call him us
the skier because that's yeah, it looks. And they said,

(56:58):
I spoke to the general manager, and we are actually
giving you a room credit for your next day. They
credit me back of my stay. So now I got six.
Now I'm gonna pay thirty on my next day, which
by the way, is Labor Day weekend, because I have
to be down at the shore. I'm gonna be a
bar a on a Saturday night. Is that? Are you plugging?

(57:21):
I don't know what you're talking about. Are you plugging right, Daddy?
You have to be at the bar for our appearance.
I'm doing a bar a appearance on Saturday night of
Labor day weekend. Okay, you're plugging, Yeah, that's what that was.
But I actually I woke up on Monday and I did.
I decided not to put it in the rear view

(57:43):
and sweep it under the rob you said, you know,
I'm gonna fucking give him the call because what could
it hurt. I could come back with nothing, because I
don't deserve free dessert. But this case, you did because
I used the room for the for a good part
of the day. You caught me on that one, but
not the whole day, not the I didn't sleep over,
and they they have record of me checking out at

(58:03):
seven thirty, so they knew that I checked out at night,
and and they were really cool a bad And then
since I've been a great customer all this time, they said, here,
here's some here's a lot of room credit. So basically
I'm getting like close to a free, free night out
of it. I like that, you know, and that awesome.
Here's the best part of it. By the way, Mr scary,
you do know that on Sunday at the Jersey Shore,

(58:26):
it didn't ever rained and there was no flooding because
the storm went up to Rhode Island and then so
we got shipped on here in the Tri State area
in New York, but the Jersey Shore was largely intact,
and the sun even came out, so that I stayed
how I stayed, I would have enjoyed a beautiful sunday there,

(58:48):
you would have anyway, all right, all right, Um, I
had some uh surprise news today. It's not so much news.
But I was in my basement, and you know, I
like Nope, in my basement, really, I have boxes of

(59:09):
like childhood junk. I have little tins, little cigar boxes
where I used to put like a little loose things,
and I've saved some of it. You know, I have
a lot of stuff from my childhood, a little old
toys I had. So so I'm going through a box
I haven't opened in forever, right, and I find little
plastic figures. Two of them are Count Chocola and one

(59:31):
of them is Booberry from the Monster Cereals Genlemah. I
must have gotten these when I was a kid. Now,
mind you, I'm I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not
I'm not a teenager anymore. So it's been a while. Well,
you act like one. I do act like a kid.
So I figured these are pretty old. So Scotty and
and uh Andrew do the Serial Killers podcast. So I

(59:54):
take a picture of it. I sent the skyt to go,
look what I found, my monster Cereal little play stick figures.
They have a little base on the bottom that's got
to be worth some money. Well, I'm like, it's just
a little plastic nothing. It's a it's a it's a
double sided mold. So like the back of it is
is his back, the front of it's his front. It's
very cool and it must have been in like the
box of Cereal. Right, So I'm like, go, you know,

(01:00:18):
I kept these things. Huh huh. So I'm like, I'm
not gonna throw them out because they're kind of cute, right,
I kept them all this time. Let me go on
eBay check them out. Now. When when you go on eBay,
sometimes you search for something and it is known for sale,
so you have no way of knowing if they have
any value. You change the filter too completed or and sold,
and you can see what's sold recently. Scary. Take a

(01:00:41):
guess how much these in in the past month have
sold for consistently each All right, go to commercial. You're
the fucking worst you are the worst. What are you
talking about? If I come home and if okay, if
you come home to your girlfriend, you go, you go, Rob,
I have great news. I just gotta raise guess how much?

(01:01:03):
And she says a million dollars. Anything you say after
that is fucking idiot. Are you gonna tell me or what? Yeah,
I'm gonna tell you. Yes, I can't give one more guest, Please,
one more guess a real guest. No, no, not ten dollars,

(01:01:26):
scary forty and I've got three of them. That's a
that's a that's golden not compared to three hundred. To
funk that up for you. Hey, I just came from
the gym. I set my all time record for bench pressing.
Really eight hundred pounds, no like, not forget it. Actually

(01:01:51):
for those figurines, that's a lot of money. That's a
lot of us. But it was probably a dollar box
back in the day. So you made some crazy profits.
So you made You're gonna make a hundr twenty bucks
off this ship. Well, if if they sell like the
last ones who are just sold, yeah, well you're advertising
for it right now, guys, do a Google search for it.
Do not do a Google Search. I would drive the

(01:02:13):
drive the price up a little bit. No, I I know,
I'm not gonna not listing him for a while. I'm
gonna wait till the other ones died. I'm just telling
you what they were. Well, people do need the listeners
bidding on my stop. Dude, I was, dude, I mean
last time any time I had any interaction with that cereal.
By the way, I was Frank and Berry for Halloween,
and I'm like, oh, this is gonna be an amazing costume.
This is several Halloween's ago. Yeah, Frank and Berry is

(01:02:35):
third tier. Frank and Berry. Well, it's Frank and Berry,
Count Chocola and Bootberry, the three and Mommy Mummy Brute Fruit. Dude,
that's really digging in the crates fruit Brute and and
Yummy Mummy. Geez. Those are like like one year they
were discontinued. Anyway, Bootberry is the Halloween one that comes
out around Halloween. Halloween. Count Chocula is the one that
people know. Okay, that's the big one. But they used

(01:02:56):
to be the three times used to be the three
of them. Well, guess what Frank and Berry I of
stuff is Frank and Berry for fucking Halloween. It was like,
oh my god, it's pinky in the brain. And I'm like,
what the are you talking about? Fucking Frank and Berry? Bitch,
who's the fanken Berry is? When you wipe your ass
and you get a little toilet paper stuck to your hair,
got a little Frank and Berry. Little Frank and Berry's down?

(01:03:17):
That what then? And I'm thinking, like, and that was
ten years ago, and like people don't know this fucking costume.
And I'm addressing this giant ass with a foam head head.
I was Frank and Berry go on TikTok and see
if you see a lot of kids doing like a cosplay,
is Frank and Berry. Dude. I was so upset. Oh
can I tell you about TikTok? I got TikTok story hilarious, Yeah,

(01:03:39):
TikTok don't stop. Yes, So um this by the way,
that's that's an event that I was planning. And then
COVID hit with the radio station. We were gonna do
a it doesn't matter. So this girl, this girl films herself.
She's like, I worked from home and you're gonna go
look it up. Her account is Corporate Natalie Corporate and

(01:04:02):
at corporate Natalie on TikTok. I don't follow her, but
I screenshot at it right, and she says, oh, I
work from home, and I noticed today that the woman
in the apartment building across the street is working from home.
I see her every day. She's working from home. I'm
gonna make a new friend. So she hangs up her
sign and she she writes out a sign. She films

(01:04:23):
herself with a magic marker, making a paper sign, and
she says, Hi, I also work from home. Do you
want to be friends? And the woman puts up. The
woman goes and gets paper. Now I'm fairly confident this
is legit because the woman who had paper supplies near
her desk, and she writes, not really. And then the

(01:04:46):
girl writes back the girls staring at her, and she goes,
I can't believe. He says it wound be my friend.
And then then she writes another one that says, are
you filming me? And then the woman closes her blinds,
Oh my god, I do I do you know what
I want to get? I'll get the audio for next week.
But in my four you page you know when you scroll,

(01:05:07):
and they want to get stuff right, So I follow
a lot of politics and comedy on TikTok, right, and
so I'm constantly getting prank pranksters, and there's this I
would have blocked them. But these a couple of guys
in their twenties maybe, and they do that. What they
do is they they prank people by in public. They'll

(01:05:27):
say something to a girl that has a secondary meaning
and when she gets offended or the boyfriend gets offended,
another friend walks up with that item. Right, So like
they these two hot girls that were walking by, and
he'll go, He'll look right at them and go nice rack,
and they'll go, what did you say? And he'll keep
walking and his friend is holding a bike racks and

(01:05:49):
they do it all the time, right, Like, so that's
the bit like, oh, I can't wait to grab ahold
of those jugs and then at least buddy of me
behind her with jugs like I was talking to them.
But it's oh fake, it's so just saying that that
it's not spontaneous and they're not really getting real genuine
reactions speaking, the boyfriend would have punched the guy. It's
so obvious that it was you said it to my girlfriend,

(01:06:12):
And it's a bit you're doing like and it's it's
and they're like, are you talking to me? Like it's
the whole thing is set up right Then I saw
another one where these two guys are in a car
and I gotta find the audio. I don't know if
I saved it in my favorites or not. They're filming
in four K high definition and a woman they're saying,
it's a Karen video, and an old lady's behind the

(01:06:34):
car and she's screaming at them you can't park there
in a strip mall. You can't park here, And they're
using like multiple camera angles and they're filming the backup
camera they're filming and they come from camera to camera.
Then that's how you know it's fake right there? Scary.
The quality of the video is clearly like eight K

(01:06:54):
even it's like it's like it's like video like TV
show quality, like you're watching a TV show. And they're like,
what are you talking about, lady? Why would we have
to move? Like it's so fake, And she's like, you
can't park here, but she never gives a reason. And
then like some guy walks up, he was why are
you yelling? Why why can't they park here. They can't
park here. I know they can't park he's doing skits.

(01:07:16):
But it's got a million views and all the comments
are like, what a crazy Karen, So glad you filmed it.
It's so so fake fake. There isn't when they when
they film the backup camera, then she starts pointing like
she starts like acting out to the camera. You know
what a backup camera looks like on a car. It's
a little fish eye lends the size of a nickel.

(01:07:37):
But she was looking right into it. Why would you
do that if you yelling at the people in the car.
It's the worst fake. They can't even fake fake. But
then all the people are like, oh this is great,
Oh my god, she's crazy. We have an eye and
an ear for that ship. I will say one trend
that I do see on TikTok that maybe real. Have
you seen girls jumping up and down? Have you seen yeah?

(01:07:58):
Have you seen the one? Have you seen the one
with the the the fake the fake TikTok message that
appears there's a there's basically what you're supposed to do
is it's it's a it's actually a filter for TikTok.
But you go in ahead of time, and it is
a drop while the film while you, while you're your
significant other is watching the film, watching TikTok with you.

(01:08:22):
It's like using the front facing camera. The About two
seconds into the video, a dropdown will come down, a
fake drop down with looks which looks like somebody slid
into your d M s on TikTok, and you ahead
of time will write in in the box, um, hey
did your boyfriend leave yet? Can't wait to see you tonight.

(01:08:44):
So someone goes to write that ahead of time, and
then they filmed themselves with their boyfriend and saying look
and say, hey, honey, look at this. There's this new
filter here does my look at my look at my lips?
And then all of a sudden, the drop down of
the message that she road ahead of time comes down
and says, hey, is your boyfriend still there? I want
to see you later. And then you get their genuine

(01:09:06):
reaction of ry, but it's still a fake. No, well,
you get the genuine reaction of the of the person.
I'm gonna tell you, Brodie, that challenge that is fucking
real because I've seen I watched no less than thirty
because this it's so funny, but I will say, I'll
tell you, Brodie, they these were unplanned. These are these

(01:09:26):
are these are people playing jokes on their girlfriends and boyfriends.
And you know, the dropdown would come in like a
second into the video and and the guy like, looks
the things funny? But who's who's Maurice? Who the funk?
What the fund? You better tell me? And and I'm
telling you you can't plan. I mean some of it's

(01:09:47):
acted out, but I would say a lot of it.
I'll tell you what I'm tired of. And I don't
know why after one person does it, other people think
they need to do it. What's that? It's the I'm
sitting on the couch and the girlfriend just happens to
walk and sit down at the couch, and the friend
just happens to be filming it. And it's high quality
video and the guy takes his legs off and hands
him to her, and she's like, oh, yeah, your legs right.

(01:10:11):
There's hundreds of them different and so what what? Basically what?
And they show you the guy you cut a hole
in the couch. First of all, who's cutting a hole
in your couch unless you're a professional stunt guy? Right,
you cut all in your couch. You put your feet
through it so only your torso is sticking up through
the couch cushion. You cut a hole through the couch cushion,
and then you take fake mannequin legs wearing pants you

(01:10:32):
normally wearing shoes and socks, and you you put it
up against your torso so it looks like you're sitting
on the couch. Then when your girlfriend sits down, you go,
can you hold these for a minute, And you pick
up the fake legs and hand him to her, and
then they freak out, oh my god, your legs came off,
and what world? What worlds coming off? And and and
and if it was real, you'd really cut a hole

(01:10:53):
in your own couch. And it's so high definition it
looks like it just doesn't even look like. It's just terrible,
and it's not like you sold one guy and you
keep seeing it. They all keep doing it, and the
comments are like, oh my god, she was so scared.
You're like, no, she wasn't. She's an actress. They're all
in on it, are everything. When they walk in the

(01:11:14):
room and they get shot with a water bottles. Some
of the some of the stuff is real, but you
could really I could smell a rat a mile away now,
if you'll excuse me, Brodie, I have to take shipment
of a delivery of crates milk crates, so I couldn't.
There was a guy showboating yesterday. I saw on TikTok

(01:11:34):
and this motherfucker he was carrying a bottle of vodka
and he goes up the crates and he gets the
very top of the top pinnacle of the seventh crate
and he literally just takes opens up the vodka, takes
a huge swig and then comes down the other side
and he makes it. If you don't know what the
crate challenges, google it. It's basically stacking milk crates in

(01:11:55):
a pyramid style and you have to get all the
way up to the top and then all the way
to the bottom. If the walk up like a staircase,
but most people fall. There's been people in the hospital
like crazy fucking injuries from this thing. I would not
suggest you bust a fucking kneecap on the way down,
because you're so high up in the air by the
time you get to that A crate that's stacked seven high,

(01:12:15):
which is the top of the top of the staircase.
That ship so fucking wobbly. You better have a center
of gravity or you're dead. You're dead because you will
fucking fall and there is no easy way to fall.
You can't because you're gonna fall on top of the
fucking hard milk crate on something. You're gonna break something,
break your wrist or something, I don't know, break your head.

(01:12:37):
See that, it's a lose, lose because if you do it. Okay,
you walked up milk rates and you got seventy years,
Yeah you got, You got milk crates. So what you
walked up milk rates? You know, graduate from Harvard, like,
do something real. I walked up milk rates. So that
you're either gonna kill yourself, hurt yourself, or accomplish something

(01:12:57):
that no one's gonna care, like a five years and
now I gonna go. You know, back in I walked
up milk crates. I I Steve, Thanks, right, what are
you gonna award for? He? Hey, hey, come one, what's
that ring you wear it? That's my I did the
milk crate challenge successfully ring that I got myself back

(01:13:18):
in one. Wow, can I have sex with you? Does
their video from five years ago. We're starting to sound
like the two old men in the balcony on the listen.
I'm just saying there are a third There are certain
challenges that are like you can go, but I just
feel like the milk crate challenge, there's no other than
like your friends to go, wow, you did it. A

(01:13:38):
week later, no one's gonna care. It's just it's gonna
be the next challenge. Right It's too because you know what,
it's not as much based on your skill as whether
or not the milk crates want to challenges that waste
food dude challenges. I'm gonna eat fifteen cheeseburgers, that's fine,
but it's up to the milk crate whether you succeed
or not. Right Like, I feel like that's the part

(01:14:01):
we have to go to some wait wait, wait, wait wait,
I might get hurt because the milk crate might decide
not to stay locked into the milk crate under it
through no fault of mine. I'm not taking that chance.
Congratulations to the milk crate manufacturer companies. I mean, there's
been on a run. There's been a run on them
and now and they contain a store like the prices
are inflated. Not since the days of vinyl records milk

(01:14:25):
crates ratating yourself. Well, I'm down here in the basement
and I'm looking at milk crates full of records. That's
how because they were a perfect size for for for vinyl.
By the way, that's where the term digging in the
crates comes from. Digging in the crates. Speaking of vinyl,
my daughter says to me, hey, can you take me
to Target? Said sure, yeah, I should have a couple

(01:14:45):
things I want to get. Okay, so we get that.
I said, what is you know? We're going on the list.
She a one more thing I want to get into
Olivia Rodrigo vinyl. Wow, actually wax like, I said, yeah.
She has a record player. So I said, really for what,
You're not gonna play the record you played on on
I Heart you played on you know you play digitally?

(01:15:06):
She says, yeah, I want to get the record. I
go to put it on the wall, just get a poster. No,
so the records, like do I go, I go dolls
for the it's basically for the picture. You're not even
gonna open it. She's like, I might play it. No,
you're not You're not gonna play it, be honest with me.
It's like, yeah, I'm not gonna play it. So that's
a lot of money for like they're pressing it. They're
pressing a lot of vinyl now it's it's been back

(01:15:29):
for a few years. But but but you have to
play it. It's I think it sounds great, but you
have to play it if you're buying it just to
have it. So I was like being just stand you know, yeah,
like I know we're coming to an end here, but
I did want to tell you what happened to me
on August six at Taco Bell? Can I can I
have my music ready? Scary ready? Yeah, it's not. It's

(01:15:51):
it's more of a it's an anecdotal story, but it's
it's okay. So, uh, we dropped my daughter off at school,
and this is the Monday. We dropped her off and
we took two cars to get up there because you
had a lot of stuff. So I'm driving back, um
in my car, and I have one of our dogs
in the car. So I can't go into like a
nice restaurant leave dog in a car. I gotta go
fast food, and I have a couple of hours left

(01:16:12):
on my drive. So where am I gonna go? Stop
a Taco Bell and I like to order through the
app because I saved all my customizations in the app
and they updated the app. By the way, it works again,
so it has all my favorites. So I order a
few things. My total is ninety two. I hit the
pay button. My credit card is attached to it already
pay so when I get there, I just go picking

(01:16:34):
up mobilile for David. I pull up my order should
be ready or pretty close to that. I've already paid.
Done deal right, Okay, So I paid for the order. Two,
I pull up the guys, the guy at the window.
Now there's a guy at the window and a very
heavy girl behind him. It's important to the story with
pink hair, okay, sitting behind him. She's in charge of

(01:16:55):
getting sodas. He's the talker. She's the soda girl. Okay.
So he says to me, uh, that will be I said,
I already paid through the app. I don't know you
any money. He says, Oh, okay, great, great, Now, no scared.
No one's behind me, no one. It's it's like nine
o'clock at night, right, He says, uh, hey, you fo

(01:17:19):
would be ready in a couple of minutes. Do you
mind pulling into that spot over there? I said I
do and he said thanks, okay, right, so I said,
I said, no meeting of my mind or I don't mind, right,
So I said no, no, no. You asked me if
I mind that, and I said I do, which it

(01:17:41):
means I do mind and not pulling into that. I'm not.
I'm not pulling into the spot. I do a podcast,
trust me. And he's like what I said, Look, no
one's behind me that's waiting for their order. And I
know you're being timed and I want to be nice,
but I don't want to pull over because I want
to you know, my dog's got to go to the bathroom.

(01:18:02):
I'm trying to make this quick. I gotta walk and
walk him. So I don't want to pull into the
spot because once I stop, I gotta take him out.
I don't want I said, please, if you don't mind,
I don't want to pull over, and he says uh.
He says, oh, no problem, no problem, you don't have to,
that's fine. Will you foody bad in the minute And
he says, um, I listen. Uh, I'm really sorry. I

(01:18:22):
tried tried to charge you twice. It's just I'm having
one of those days. So I said, hey, man, no,
no worries. It's Monday. Everything's weird on Monday, which is
like that, that's not a thing. I just said it
because I'm trying to like not make him feel bad. Right.
So the girl, the girl with the pink hair, the
very large girl, she says, if you think today is bad,

(01:18:43):
Friday was Friday and that was super weird. I said,
I saw. I said, really, why why was it weird?
Just people were acting strange? I go, okay, all right,
So I said, well, how are they acting strange? You know,
like all kinds of weird ways. So like I'm not

(01:19:05):
getting an answer. I'm not The two of them should
get a podcast, right, So they sound so really, So
I don't ask her because now she's giving me three
times not telling me what why it was weird or strange?
She says, plus I had to get blood work done,
so so um, so I said to myself, don't ask
her why she got the blood work done. Don't ask her.

(01:19:28):
So she's looking at me like, why aren't you asking
me why I got my blood work done. So with that,
the guy hands me the big bag of food I
ordered just for myself from my car right home, and
and I saw him looking at her, and she's looking
at me, and I go, oh, I'm sorry, Why is
everything okay? Why did you get your blood work done?
She said, because I think I have diabetes and you're

(01:19:49):
working a tac open and she they just handed me
a bag of botos and she's telling me, I think
I have diabetes? Is that is my music? That really
what I want to hear diabetes from the chubby girl.
As I'm getting my big bag at Taco Bell, So

(01:20:11):
don't luck with that. She's, oh, it turns out I
don't have diabetes. Oh thank god, O my god. So
that I didn't want to eat my food, right, I
don't want to eat a diarrhea, A diarrhea brod diabetes, diabetes, diabetes,

(01:20:31):
diabetes burrito. Like it was just like a wall wall.
It was like Deppie does, like I get blood work done,
but like I'm like, what's weird about friend? The third Yeah,
the people were acting strange and I had to get
blood work done. Like, don't ask her, don't ask her
because she's either pregnant or she's dying, Like what, what's what?

(01:20:51):
Gets blood work for a good thing unless you get pregnant. Maybe,
And she didn't look like she wanted to be pregnant.
She was like, you know, working at Taco Bell seventeen
is all? No, I think she's I thought I had diabetes. Okay,
do you know where I can find a just salad
in the area. There are people that are just unapologetically
themselves and they they will not put on a show,

(01:21:14):
They will not think twice about what they say, and
they just put it out there. That's but that, but
that is encouraged. Just speak your mind and just say
what's on your mind at all times. Yeah, you anything worse.
If she's like, oh yeah, I thought I had he
called like, wow, I thought I had I had Samonella
from had food poisoning. Here's your food, sir, Well here's

(01:21:38):
my chance. Come on, you know where we're from. You
missed it. I didn't inst years. It was perfect

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David Brody

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#187: A Seat At The Ugly Table