April 2, 2020 • 19 mins
Ron tries to help his lonely co-host find love.
CREDITS:
Host, Writer, and Executive Producer: Ron Burgundy
Co-host, Writer and Producer: Carolina Barlow
Producer: Nick Stumpf
Talent Producer: Anna Hossnieh
Writers: Andrew Steele and Jake Fogelnest
Engineered, Mixed and Edited by Nick Stumpf
Dating game contestants: Miles Gray, Michael Provost, Joey Greer, Nick Clark
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh Romberger podcast. Hey, they're love birds and anyone in
the Lonely Hearts Club. I know that some of you
out there are in love and some of you just
started sharing glances across the room at your a A meeting,
(00:22):
and some of you out there, well, you're just plain
stinky dinky and that's a serious SDD. Go to your
local clinic and get the stinky dinky test. You could
save a life your own. I have to say everything
is going great with me, As some listeners may know,
I'm in a beautiful and philosophically rewarding relationship with the
(00:45):
singer songwriter Sia Carolina. Did you hear that? Yeah, it's crazy.
I mean, being a famous, world renowned news anchor is
one thing, but dating another celebrity, you know, another artist
late nights painting, writing songs. Not to mention all of
(01:06):
our friends or artists. So so we're able to host salons,
you know, like I mean F Scott and Zelda and
Ernest Hemingway, Stephen Dorff. So you've hung out with f.
Scott Fitzgerald, wasn't he way before your time? No, we
we haven't hung out, and yes, he he passed away
before my parents were born, but we're also very close.
(01:29):
It's an amazing community of brilliant artists, and it's a
very beautiful but competitive group of friends. I mean, as
magical as the artist's life is, there's a lot of
pressure on our relationship. See and I will have passionate
fights over music, and sometimes she she doesn't let me
play jazz flute over some of her tracks. It's it's confusing. Anyway,
(01:54):
You're lucky, Carolina. You'll you'll never have to worry about
being in this crowd. I I'll never have to worry
about being famous. Yes, it's so much better the way
you have it now, completely anonymous. Oh, I'm sorry, I
need to take this. Wait, we're in the middle of
the show. You're supposed to leave your phone off. Hello? Hi? Yeah? Yeah?
(02:15):
Oh do you want me to uh to put this
on speaker? Wait? Is this real money? It's me pup stars.
What are you up to? Oh my god, Carolinia me.
I'm just hanging out in the podcast booth with Nick,
our sound guy, and some other people. I'm the only
other person I wanted to say hi before I got
on stage. I'm in Berlin. Oh wow, I am I
(02:36):
miss you so much and just a friendly reminder that
you're the love of my life and I'm longing for
your presence and I sleep with one of your wigs
on my pillow next to me. Who sorry, breaking breaking up?
We're breaking up? No no, no, no no no, Sea,
give me a chance. What are you talking about? We
did we did talk this through. I think she just
(02:57):
means hello hello hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello hello hello. I think this place has bad reception.
See if you can hear me, so any word. I'm
just gonna hold my phone up to the ceiling and
(03:19):
maybe I'll get more bars. Run, get down from that chair.
It's on her end. She must have lost service or
maybe her phone died. I don't know. Does this window
over run? Stop? You're gonna fall out the window, Nick,
I need someone to help pull him back in. I
just need to hold my phone closer to the sun. Run.
Oh my god, everything is totally fine. Calls drop all
(03:42):
the time. You have terrible service at your house. That's
why we always lose each other on call, Carolina, I
have amazing cell service at my house. Okay, when we're
on the phone, well, sometimes your voice begins to grade
on me. So I put the phone down and and
I just go on with my day. That's incredibly rude.
And I can't believe I didn't assume that was I
can't believe Cia left me for a model in Berlin.
(04:05):
You don't know that. I mean, you're just making that up,
your paranoid. A lot of people feel that way when
they're falling in love. Have you ever seen a European model, Carolina.
You won't find them in your Eileen Fisher catalogs. They're gorgeous,
like Helen of Troy. These models have booties that can
launch one thousand ships. That phrase a little bit. Well,
(04:26):
you fumbled your hair this morning. And I guess we
won't know what will happen between me and Sia, but
let me tell you this. If I get heartbroken, I'm
gonna lose it. All right, We'll see what happens. My
phone is broken. I mean, that's the only explanation you'll
You'll have to get me another phone. I have gotten
you five phones over five days. She always ends up
(04:48):
reaching out. We've spent over three thousand dollars. It's it's
not I promise it's not your phone. Can you try
calling my phone? It's being so strange. I really hope
she's not trying to call me. I promise you every
person goes through this when they're dating someone they really like. Caroline,
is she breaking up with me? Just just give it
to me straight. Run. Look, I'm gonna call her and
(05:11):
tell her how much I love her. And maybe if
I tell her I have an incurable disease, she'll give
me a few more days. Or or maybe I could
ask her to marry me. I'm truly not prepared, but
I will do it if it buys me another month.
You know what, Go pick up a fake engagement ring,
uh down in Chinatown, tops a fake one for that's
(05:35):
that's my high end of my budget. I can't afford
a real diamond right now. I spent I spent too
much on the phones and computer. You got a new computer.
I thought maybe she sent me an email, but she didn't.
It took three computers for me to find that out. Run.
I just enjoy this time. You're happy and in love
with an amazing woman. There are no problems. Maybe if
(05:56):
you act calm, you know, act your way into write thinking,
you start to feel cold. Alright, alright, alright, all, all
alright it's all good. I'm chill. I don't. Don't I
sound like whatever about it all? You sound so insane. No,
(06:17):
I'm chilling, I'm not worried. I'm not panicked. Quick question.
Is it an intrusion of privacy if I hire someone
to put a bug on her phone? I don't want
to be lame. That would be not even lame. That's illegal. Alright, alright,
no bugs, no bugs. Just hire someone to follow her
around and take pictures to make sure she hasn't met
(06:37):
anyone super handsome and wonderful. Do we trust diplow? No, no,
we don't. But she's at work. Do you want her
to bother you at work? I don't give. She could
kidnap me and take me out of the shoal and
I'd never look back. I guess I shouldn't have asked.
Gosh almighty, this love stuff, it really takes it out
(06:58):
of you. You know it? It's worth it? I don't know.
I mean I'm single, Yes, I know? Yes, what my friend?
What We're going to fix that today? Ah, We're gonna
cure that. We're gonna cure your singleness and most importantly,
your awful, pathetic loneliness. You'll be thinking your lucky stars
(07:21):
after today's episode. What did you do? Folks? Welcome to
the Dating Game? What what is this? Don't please don't
ruin my introduction with a question like, uh, that's I mean,
that's what you just sounded like. Don't sound like that.
(07:42):
On the Dating Game, our contestant Carolina Barlow will be
asking questions from three faceless bachelors, and then she'll choose
the one she will marry on the show today. No one,
I'm not going to marry someone on the show today. Ratings, Carolina.
Come on, you wouldn't get married for ratings. Okay, well,
(08:05):
we'll have to improvise something because we gotta get those downloads, sister.
I'll go on a date with one of them and
stay tuned for who that winner or loser, depending on
how you think about it, will be. Carolina, just marry
one of these guys. Are get my heart off my
turn off your mic because they are up my pat
(08:27):
They're way up there. Only my lower at testing right,
And we're back this special episode of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Today,
(08:49):
I'm your host on a special edition of the Dating Game. Carolina,
why don't you introduce yourself? Um? Okay, my name is Carolina.
I am a co host of this podcast. No no, no,
no no no. I mean you know your home life hobbies.
Come on, I like to stay at my house. I
(09:12):
work a lot. I hang out with my God, which
is why we are here to help her. Carolina. Behind
this divider, there are three bachelors. Contestants. Introduce yourselves. Batchelor
number one. What's up? I'm Tim Timmy, Timmy wants to Winnie.
Bachelor number two? Hi? Nice? Are those two people speaking
(09:35):
at once? None of your business, Let's keep going. Bachelor
number three, Hi, I'm Greg with Doberman and Doberman Insurance. Okay,
you know what what I said? Greg, No details. So
Bachelor number three is an insurance salesman from Doberman and
Doberman from Doberman and Doberman. Yes, very reputable insurance company.
Let's keep it moving, Carolina, why don't you ask your
(09:56):
first question? Okay, Bachelor number on, what do you like
to do on a night off? Great question? I know
the answer she's looking for. Um, Beth, Jay is actually
having some people over tonight. If you wanted to come, Oh,
is this a friend of yours? Yeah, and it'd be great,
if you could bring some alcohol, maybe pick them up
before you know. Okay, okay, enough enough out of you.
Batchel number one, you're already planning a date Bachelor Too.
(10:20):
Same question, Um, we would love to take you to
our parents house. Are those those are? Ron? I think
I've told you before that I didn't want to date
some Okay, Carolina, they're not siblings, all right, they're twins.
Every girl's dream. No, and they speak out together at once.
They certainly do. That's the way twin stock. Okay, goodbye,
(10:41):
Bachelor Too. And two, Sorry Carolina doesn't like to party.
I'll take a pick with you two later. Alright, by
bye bye guys. Well, I have a feeling you're going
to regret that, Carolina. Okay, Batchel number three, same question,
what do you like to do to get off? No,
that wasn't. The question was what do you like to
do on a night off? That's what I said. Well,
(11:02):
there's no night off when it comes to insurance. If
you ever need anything, whether it be your basement has
flooded at two am, or if your neighbor slipped on
your sidewalk and is trying to suit you for an
exorbitant are trying to insurance. Just let him finish his pitch, Carolina,
our usual premium is around but for you, I could
make that a clean one thousand. Sounds like a date. No,
I'm sorry, I'm not looking to buy insurance at the moment. Wow,
(11:24):
Carolina did not come to play. She is knocking these
guys down like pinballs. You said that if I came here,
I can make ane. We'll talk later, Greg, We'll talk later. Anyways,
looks like bachelor number one is your boyfriend. I'd like
to ask him one more question. Come on, at least
go on a date with a guy, go to go
to his friend's party. Number one, where do you see
(11:46):
yourself in five years, hopefully graduating from college. Don't don't
pull the divider down, it'll ruin the game. Oh my god,
he looks sixteen. Run yep, completely legal. So do you
think you could pick up some drinks from my friend? Carolina?
You are not going to find a boyfriend with that attitude.
(12:06):
You're such as I thought she'd have some sense. Look,
here are my keys. There's a bottle of sambuca in
the trunk of my Pontiac. Don't don't steal it. If
you know what I mean all right by SIPs, I'm
trusting you. Where did you find him? Who? Timmy? You
just he's a buddy of mine's kid at Eisenhower High School.
(12:31):
It runs track. So how are you feeling? I'm kind
of annoyed with you right now. That was the dating game.
We'll be right back after these messages. We are back
(12:54):
with the Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, what a rush.
I didn't know who you were going to pick. I
just want to get a few things straight. Um, So
you told the insurance agent I would buy insurance from him.
I sure did. And then you told the teenager that
I'd buy alcohol. Well, that choice was yours to make.
I told him you could buy him alcohol if he
(13:17):
asked nicely. Got it. And the twins, the twins, they
liked you. They were good guys. I wish you would
considered them more. Seriously, what did you tell the twins
that you could get them a green card? It? Sorry,
they're from Canada, but they're good guys. I vetted them well,
I had a friend vet them. We didn't need to
(13:39):
vet them. Ron, you don't have to worry about me.
I'll find a boyfriend. Are you sure, because I'm really
worried you'll be alone forever. Don't worry. Are you absolutely
positive you'll find someone who likes you? Yes? Oh my god,
if you say so, run do you want to get that? Not? Really?
(14:02):
Oh my god, it's Sia. I can see the car idea.
It's Sia. Okay, fine, I have to do this. Might
as well just rip the band aid off. Hello, Sia,
ron I've been trying to reach you. I keep getting
voice my all. Are you getting one of texts? Okay, Sia,
this is really hard. It's just you. You know. I
(14:23):
love you right yeah? And I love you more than anything.
It's just I thought I could do it. I really did,
but making a high profile, long distance celebrity couple of
work is a lot tougher than I thought. You know,
why can I say something please? I'm actually relieved to
(14:43):
hear you say that wrong. You're like a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gentle, beautiful,
handsome soul. I feel the same about you. You You
You've lit my life up in ways I didn't think
we're possible. It's just it's just our schedules are killing
me relationship. Yes, it's not fair of Tay, I know,
(15:04):
I've got the podcast, you've got the whole internationally famous
pop star thing going on. I mean maybe in a
different lifetime. Yeah, well, I'm so glad you feel the
same way. This is a lot harder than I thought
it was going to be. It's really tough. Okay, Well,
(15:25):
I have to go diploys here we're working on okay, Yeah,
I'm sure it'll be great. The demos are amazing. I'm
I'm just here with Carolina. I'm so sorry about that.
She's really track, isn't she She's the worst. Okay, we'll
(15:45):
talk soon. Yeah, Okay, goody, goodbye, see you. Okay, Yeah,
that's that's not how I wanted this to end. I
as a friend and a co worker, I sere really hurting. Yeah, boy,
I'm I am low right now, you know, but this
(16:06):
is what happens when you have two highly motivated, successful
people with careers. If we could have made it work,
we would have. I mean, she has her music and
I have well, I guess I have this show. Yeah
right mm hmm, yep, I got this show. You don't
(16:31):
have to sound so defeated about it. I mean I
definitely made the right decision. No, we made the right decision. Ron.
I'm sorry, but I have to say I did notice
she said some really nasty things about me. Oh yeah,
she hates your guts. Yeah, with a passion. She was
seriously considering getting physically violent about it. Was going to
(16:56):
beat me up. She was gonna knock you out. Mama says,
knocked you out. Yeah. I talked her out of it.
So well. Anyway, that's all for today for our episode
of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We're all in our little
dating games, trying to figure out this crazy little thing
called love, and I nailed it. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
(17:25):
is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy.
The host, writer and executive producer Carolina Barlow is my
co host, writer and producer. Our producer is Nick Stuff.
Our talent coordinator is Anna Posnian. Writers are Andrew Steele
and Jake Focoised. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited
(17:47):
by Nick Stuff. Until next time, This is Ron Burgundy.
(19:13):
B
Oh Romberger podcast. Hey, they're love birds and anyone in
the Lonely Hearts Club. I know that some of you
out there are in love and some of you just
started sharing glances across the room at your a A meeting,
(00:22):
and some of you out there, well, you're just plain
stinky dinky and that's a serious SDD. Go to your
local clinic and get the stinky dinky test. You could
save a life your own. I have to say everything
is going great with me, As some listeners may know,
I'm in a beautiful and philosophically rewarding relationship with the
(00:45):
singer songwriter Sia Carolina. Did you hear that? Yeah, it's crazy.
I mean, being a famous, world renowned news anchor is
one thing, but dating another celebrity, you know, another artist
late nights painting, writing songs. Not to mention all of
(01:06):
our friends or artists. So so we're able to host salons,
you know, like I mean F Scott and Zelda and
Ernest Hemingway, Stephen Dorff. So you've hung out with f.
Scott Fitzgerald, wasn't he way before your time? No, we
we haven't hung out, and yes, he he passed away
before my parents were born, but we're also very close.
(01:29):
It's an amazing community of brilliant artists, and it's a
very beautiful but competitive group of friends. I mean, as
magical as the artist's life is, there's a lot of
pressure on our relationship. See and I will have passionate
fights over music, and sometimes she she doesn't let me
play jazz flute over some of her tracks. It's it's confusing. Anyway,
(01:54):
You're lucky, Carolina. You'll you'll never have to worry about
being in this crowd. I I'll never have to worry
about being famous. Yes, it's so much better the way
you have it now, completely anonymous. Oh, I'm sorry, I
need to take this. Wait, we're in the middle of
the show. You're supposed to leave your phone off. Hello? Hi? Yeah? Yeah?
(02:15):
Oh do you want me to uh to put this
on speaker? Wait? Is this real money? It's me pup stars.
What are you up to? Oh my god, Carolinia me.
I'm just hanging out in the podcast booth with Nick,
our sound guy, and some other people. I'm the only
other person I wanted to say hi before I got
on stage. I'm in Berlin. Oh wow, I am I
(02:36):
miss you so much and just a friendly reminder that
you're the love of my life and I'm longing for
your presence and I sleep with one of your wigs
on my pillow next to me. Who sorry, breaking breaking up?
We're breaking up? No no, no, no no no, Sea,
give me a chance. What are you talking about? We
did we did talk this through. I think she just
(02:57):
means hello hello hello hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello hello hello. I think this place has bad reception.
See if you can hear me, so any word. I'm
just gonna hold my phone up to the ceiling and
(03:19):
maybe I'll get more bars. Run, get down from that chair.
It's on her end. She must have lost service or
maybe her phone died. I don't know. Does this window
over run? Stop? You're gonna fall out the window, Nick,
I need someone to help pull him back in. I
just need to hold my phone closer to the sun. Run.
Oh my god, everything is totally fine. Calls drop all
(03:42):
the time. You have terrible service at your house. That's
why we always lose each other on call, Carolina, I
have amazing cell service at my house. Okay, when we're
on the phone, well, sometimes your voice begins to grade
on me. So I put the phone down and and
I just go on with my day. That's incredibly rude.
And I can't believe I didn't assume that was I
can't believe Cia left me for a model in Berlin.
(04:05):
You don't know that. I mean, you're just making that up,
your paranoid. A lot of people feel that way when
they're falling in love. Have you ever seen a European model, Carolina.
You won't find them in your Eileen Fisher catalogs. They're gorgeous,
like Helen of Troy. These models have booties that can
launch one thousand ships. That phrase a little bit. Well,
(04:26):
you fumbled your hair this morning. And I guess we
won't know what will happen between me and Sia, but
let me tell you this. If I get heartbroken, I'm
gonna lose it. All right, We'll see what happens. My
phone is broken. I mean, that's the only explanation you'll
You'll have to get me another phone. I have gotten
you five phones over five days. She always ends up
(04:48):
reaching out. We've spent over three thousand dollars. It's it's
not I promise it's not your phone. Can you try
calling my phone? It's being so strange. I really hope
she's not trying to call me. I promise you every
person goes through this when they're dating someone they really like. Caroline,
is she breaking up with me? Just just give it
to me straight. Run. Look, I'm gonna call her and
(05:11):
tell her how much I love her. And maybe if
I tell her I have an incurable disease, she'll give
me a few more days. Or or maybe I could
ask her to marry me. I'm truly not prepared, but
I will do it if it buys me another month.
You know what, Go pick up a fake engagement ring,
uh down in Chinatown, tops a fake one for that's
(05:35):
that's my high end of my budget. I can't afford
a real diamond right now. I spent I spent too
much on the phones and computer. You got a new computer.
I thought maybe she sent me an email, but she didn't.
It took three computers for me to find that out. Run.
I just enjoy this time. You're happy and in love
with an amazing woman. There are no problems. Maybe if
(05:56):
you act calm, you know, act your way into write thinking,
you start to feel cold. Alright, alright, alright, all, all
alright it's all good. I'm chill. I don't. Don't I
sound like whatever about it all? You sound so insane. No,
(06:17):
I'm chilling, I'm not worried. I'm not panicked. Quick question.
Is it an intrusion of privacy if I hire someone
to put a bug on her phone? I don't want
to be lame. That would be not even lame. That's illegal. Alright, alright,
no bugs, no bugs. Just hire someone to follow her
around and take pictures to make sure she hasn't met
(06:37):
anyone super handsome and wonderful. Do we trust diplow? No, no,
we don't. But she's at work. Do you want her
to bother you at work? I don't give. She could
kidnap me and take me out of the shoal and
I'd never look back. I guess I shouldn't have asked.
Gosh almighty, this love stuff, it really takes it out
(06:58):
of you. You know it? It's worth it? I don't know.
I mean I'm single, Yes, I know? Yes, what my friend?
What We're going to fix that today? Ah, We're gonna
cure that. We're gonna cure your singleness and most importantly,
your awful, pathetic loneliness. You'll be thinking your lucky stars
(07:21):
after today's episode. What did you do? Folks? Welcome to
the Dating Game? What what is this? Don't please don't
ruin my introduction with a question like, uh, that's I mean,
that's what you just sounded like. Don't sound like that.
(07:42):
On the Dating Game, our contestant Carolina Barlow will be
asking questions from three faceless bachelors, and then she'll choose
the one she will marry on the show today. No one,
I'm not going to marry someone on the show today. Ratings, Carolina.
Come on, you wouldn't get married for ratings. Okay, well,
(08:05):
we'll have to improvise something because we gotta get those downloads, sister.
I'll go on a date with one of them and
stay tuned for who that winner or loser, depending on
how you think about it, will be. Carolina, just marry
one of these guys. Are get my heart off my
turn off your mic because they are up my pat
(08:27):
They're way up there. Only my lower at testing right,
And we're back this special episode of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Today,
(08:49):
I'm your host on a special edition of the Dating Game. Carolina,
why don't you introduce yourself? Um? Okay, my name is Carolina.
I am a co host of this podcast. No no, no,
no no no. I mean you know your home life hobbies.
Come on, I like to stay at my house. I
(09:12):
work a lot. I hang out with my God, which
is why we are here to help her. Carolina. Behind
this divider, there are three bachelors. Contestants. Introduce yourselves. Batchelor
number one. What's up? I'm Tim Timmy, Timmy wants to Winnie.
Bachelor number two? Hi? Nice? Are those two people speaking
(09:35):
at once? None of your business, Let's keep going. Bachelor
number three, Hi, I'm Greg with Doberman and Doberman Insurance. Okay,
you know what what I said? Greg, No details. So
Bachelor number three is an insurance salesman from Doberman and
Doberman from Doberman and Doberman. Yes, very reputable insurance company.
Let's keep it moving, Carolina, why don't you ask your
(09:56):
first question? Okay, Bachelor number on, what do you like
to do on a night off? Great question? I know
the answer she's looking for. Um, Beth, Jay is actually
having some people over tonight. If you wanted to come, Oh,
is this a friend of yours? Yeah, and it'd be great,
if you could bring some alcohol, maybe pick them up
before you know. Okay, okay, enough enough out of you.
Batchel number one, you're already planning a date Bachelor Too.
(10:20):
Same question, Um, we would love to take you to
our parents house. Are those those are? Ron? I think
I've told you before that I didn't want to date
some Okay, Carolina, they're not siblings, all right, they're twins.
Every girl's dream. No, and they speak out together at once.
They certainly do. That's the way twin stock. Okay, goodbye,
(10:41):
Bachelor Too. And two, Sorry Carolina doesn't like to party.
I'll take a pick with you two later. Alright, by
bye bye guys. Well, I have a feeling you're going
to regret that, Carolina. Okay, Batchel number three, same question,
what do you like to do to get off? No,
that wasn't. The question was what do you like to
do on a night off? That's what I said. Well,
(11:02):
there's no night off when it comes to insurance. If
you ever need anything, whether it be your basement has
flooded at two am, or if your neighbor slipped on
your sidewalk and is trying to suit you for an
exorbitant are trying to insurance. Just let him finish his pitch, Carolina,
our usual premium is around but for you, I could
make that a clean one thousand. Sounds like a date. No,
I'm sorry, I'm not looking to buy insurance at the moment. Wow,
(11:24):
Carolina did not come to play. She is knocking these
guys down like pinballs. You said that if I came here,
I can make ane. We'll talk later, Greg, We'll talk later. Anyways,
looks like bachelor number one is your boyfriend. I'd like
to ask him one more question. Come on, at least
go on a date with a guy, go to go
to his friend's party. Number one, where do you see
(11:46):
yourself in five years, hopefully graduating from college. Don't don't
pull the divider down, it'll ruin the game. Oh my god,
he looks sixteen. Run yep, completely legal. So do you
think you could pick up some drinks from my friend? Carolina?
You are not going to find a boyfriend with that attitude.
(12:06):
You're such as I thought she'd have some sense. Look,
here are my keys. There's a bottle of sambuca in
the trunk of my Pontiac. Don't don't steal it. If
you know what I mean all right by SIPs, I'm
trusting you. Where did you find him? Who? Timmy? You
just he's a buddy of mine's kid at Eisenhower High School.
(12:31):
It runs track. So how are you feeling? I'm kind
of annoyed with you right now. That was the dating game.
We'll be right back after these messages. We are back
(12:54):
with the Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, what a rush.
I didn't know who you were going to pick. I
just want to get a few things straight. Um, So
you told the insurance agent I would buy insurance from him.
I sure did. And then you told the teenager that
I'd buy alcohol. Well, that choice was yours to make.
I told him you could buy him alcohol if he
(13:17):
asked nicely. Got it. And the twins, the twins, they
liked you. They were good guys. I wish you would
considered them more. Seriously, what did you tell the twins
that you could get them a green card? It? Sorry,
they're from Canada, but they're good guys. I vetted them well,
I had a friend vet them. We didn't need to
(13:39):
vet them. Ron, you don't have to worry about me.
I'll find a boyfriend. Are you sure, because I'm really
worried you'll be alone forever. Don't worry. Are you absolutely
positive you'll find someone who likes you? Yes? Oh my god,
if you say so, run do you want to get that? Not? Really?
(14:02):
Oh my god, it's Sia. I can see the car idea.
It's Sia. Okay, fine, I have to do this. Might
as well just rip the band aid off. Hello, Sia,
ron I've been trying to reach you. I keep getting
voice my all. Are you getting one of texts? Okay, Sia,
this is really hard. It's just you. You know. I
(14:23):
love you right yeah? And I love you more than anything.
It's just I thought I could do it. I really did,
but making a high profile, long distance celebrity couple of
work is a lot tougher than I thought. You know,
why can I say something please? I'm actually relieved to
(14:43):
hear you say that wrong. You're like a wonderful, sensitive, caring, gentle, beautiful,
handsome soul. I feel the same about you. You You
You've lit my life up in ways I didn't think
we're possible. It's just it's just our schedules are killing
me relationship. Yes, it's not fair of Tay, I know,
(15:04):
I've got the podcast, you've got the whole internationally famous
pop star thing going on. I mean maybe in a
different lifetime. Yeah, well, I'm so glad you feel the
same way. This is a lot harder than I thought
it was going to be. It's really tough. Okay, Well,
(15:25):
I have to go diploys here we're working on okay, Yeah,
I'm sure it'll be great. The demos are amazing. I'm
I'm just here with Carolina. I'm so sorry about that.
She's really track, isn't she She's the worst. Okay, we'll
(15:45):
talk soon. Yeah, Okay, goody, goodbye, see you. Okay, Yeah,
that's that's not how I wanted this to end. I
as a friend and a co worker, I sere really hurting. Yeah, boy,
I'm I am low right now, you know, but this
(16:06):
is what happens when you have two highly motivated, successful
people with careers. If we could have made it work,
we would have. I mean, she has her music and
I have well, I guess I have this show. Yeah
right mm hmm, yep, I got this show. You don't
(16:31):
have to sound so defeated about it. I mean I
definitely made the right decision. No, we made the right decision. Ron.
I'm sorry, but I have to say I did notice
she said some really nasty things about me. Oh yeah,
she hates your guts. Yeah, with a passion. She was
seriously considering getting physically violent about it. Was going to
(16:56):
beat me up. She was gonna knock you out. Mama says,
knocked you out. Yeah. I talked her out of it.
So well. Anyway, that's all for today for our episode
of the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We're all in our little
dating games, trying to figure out this crazy little thing
called love, and I nailed it. The Ron Burgundy Podcast
(17:25):
is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm Ron Burgundy.
The host, writer and executive producer Carolina Barlow is my
co host, writer and producer. Our producer is Nick Stuff.
Our talent coordinator is Anna Posnian. Writers are Andrew Steele
and Jake Focoised. This episode was engineered, mixed, and edited
(17:47):
by Nick Stuff. Until next time, This is Ron Burgundy.
(19:13):
B
Host
Will Ferrell
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