"It's not you, it's the dishes...and that you won't clean them."
A new study finds that of all things that cause couples to argue and break up, washing the dishes is a big factor. We've all seen dirty dishes piled up in the sink, and felt the looming dread of the oncoming argument about them. Whether you think you're responsible for the dishes or not, you better act like it or you better get used to sleeping on the couch.
A report from a nonprofit that studies family dynamics, the Council of Contemporary Families, suggests the answer to 'Who is going to do the dishes?' has a lot to do with the health and long-term prospects of a relationship. Heterosexual women who do most of the dish washing themselves report more fights with their partner, less relationship satisfaction and worse sex than women whose partners help.
The good news is that women are happier about sharing dishwashing duties than any other household task. So if you want to do something small to make your partner happy, wash the damn dishes! The Atlantic asks, why are dirty dishes such a hot-button issue for couples? "Doing dishes is gross," theorized Dan Carlson, an assistant professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah. "There is old, moldy food sitting in the sink." Plus, if you have kids, those dishes are probably even yuckier.
Carlson also observed that people don't really get compliments for doing the dishes well. “What is there to say? ‘Oh, the silverware is so … sparkly’?” No, people get compliments for the glamour chores like cooking, gardening or washing the cars.
Chores that are traditionally associated with women are the least desirable and often the grimiest. 'Men's work,' like mowing the lawn, taking out the trash and washing the car, don't involve handling the slimy leavings of another human being. Over time, while women have become more impactful in the workforce, many women are still shouldering 'female chores.' That leads to frustration and resentment, Carlson said.
Do something nice today: wash the dishes.
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