March 24, 2023 • 45 mins
Big Ben talks about Tom Izzo calling Kansas State lucky to beat Michigan State as well as other NCAA Tournament headlines, the fake Lamar Jackson agent story, Maller to the Third Degree, Lame Jokes of the Week, a Blair & Marcel mashup, Coop's Scoop on Entertainment, and more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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(00:23):
This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
Fox Sports Radio, the sweet nectar of it all. Welcome
in the beginning of another edition of the Ben Mallers Show.
As we are in the air everywhere as audio buddies
(00:45):
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So I leave this hour coming from the sweetness as
(01:28):
in the sweet sixteen as college basketball ended its brief hiatus.
They hadn't played since Sunday. They tipped off with not one,
not two, not three, how about four games? Now, one
of those stood out more than the others. You can
say two of them. But for our purposes right now,
you gotta start with one, man, you gotta start with one.
And so we're gonna focus in on Kansas State and
(01:52):
Michigan State, which was early on the card, one of
the early matchups in the early television window. Kansas State,
led by Mark keis Noel. He didn't again. The little
guy get it again. He's at the NCAA tournament record
for assist. You get an assist, you get an assist,
(02:15):
you get everyone gets an assist. Single game record nineteen
nineteen helpers from Marcus Noel and Kansas State with a thrilling,
agonizing ninety eight ninety three win. There was a last
second bucket just at tackle on a couple extra points.
(02:37):
It was one possession game. Michigan State had the ball,
they screwed it up and at Madison Square guard the Mecca.
The hometown kid Noel who's from the New York City area.
There he had twenty points, also had five steals in
a performance for the ages and college basketball lore, and
(03:00):
he did it in dramatic I only had one leg.
If you saw the game, you know what I'm talking about.
Everybody played hobbled most of the second half. He rolled
his right ankle just minutes into the I think it's
just a couple of minutes into the second half there
as Kansas State had a four point lead when he
got hurt. He left the game, and they had the
(03:23):
very dramatic camera shots he was getting taped. Is he
going to come back in the game. Oh the drama.
You could cut the tension with a butter knife on
the sidelines there for the Wildcats. And Noel ends up
only missing less than three minutes of game time, and
he came back in and he had dominated the first half.
He had five points in tennisis in the first half.
(03:44):
So we'll get back to him. But the better story
here came from the losing locker room as Michigan State
takes it on the chin. There they go down and
overtime and one of the few coaches that matter in
call legion basketball time, Izzo, stole the spotlight. Did you
hear what tom Izzo had to say post game, perhaps
(04:07):
not following the game on CBS, they caught up with
the grizzled Michigan State head coach Tom Izzo, who made
a comment in his opening statement when asked the question
that rubbed many people the wrong way. Izzo used the
L word, the L word when talking about Kansas State,
(04:30):
as Warner Wolf would say, let's go to the audio tape.
Give them credit, but I mean they banked in two
shot clock threes. There were, and they made some big plays,
but some of those plays weren't big plays. They were
lucky plays. No, he said it. He said the L word.
He said it. He said it L word lucky, lucky. Wow,
(04:50):
wow tom Izzo, Wow, bro, heartbreaker, you heard he said.
Give them, meaning Kansas State credit. They banked in shot
clock threes. They made some big plays, but some of
those big plays weren't big plays. They were lucky plays.
He said it. Play it again, Roberto, play it again,
(05:10):
play it again. Give them credit. But I mean they
banked in two shot clock threes. There were, and they
made some big plays, but some of those plays weren't
big plays. They were lucky plays. No. The dagger, the dagger,
the right hook. So let us just get all talk
talking about this. So the question Tom is O sitting
you just heard it, tom is O say in Kansas
(05:31):
State was lucky? Right? They were? They weren't big plays,
they were lucky plays to beat his Michigan State basketball team.
Was this a compliment or a backhanded jab? So I've
got Seneca, de Vito and Razor Blade and we will
(05:52):
line all of these things up and we will knock
them down like dominoes. Not to lead off here, we
underst having done this job for a while and part
of the job is talking about what's going on in
that business. That this is not tom Izzo's first barbecue.
He has been to the picnic called March Madness many times.
(06:12):
So this comment was obviously in the backhanded, backhanded jab. Family.
To put it in another way, Kansas State wasn't better
than old Sparty. They weren't. They just happened to have
Lady Luck on their side. Now I disagree here. Did
(06:33):
Kansas State make several circus shots in this game? Yes?
But was that the reason that they won the game? No?
And was it even lucky? Right? It was the Roman
philosopher Seneca who was credited with saying at best that quote,
luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, which means,
(06:53):
if I interpret that properly, you make your own luck.
But it's also all about perspective. And so if you
want to go down the garden path, and I will
because I have four hours of a blank audio canvas
to paint. So I'm gonna go down that garden path.
So let's play the game. If Kansas State was lucky,
(07:14):
riddle me this Batman or Tom Izzo. So Kansas State
is lucky, Marquis Noel. If they are lucky, would not
have been hopping on a pogo stick early in the
second half. He would have stayed healthy because in a
parallel dimension, he doesn't roll his ankle. And Kansas State
(07:37):
pulls away from Michigan State, the game doesn't even go
it overtime, so you don't need those ridiculous shots. And
as they said back in Goodwill Hunting, how do you
like them apples? Tomzzo? All right? Furthermore, so, I want
to address my favorite player in all of college basketball,
Marcus Noel. I'm a fan. My name is Ben Maller,
(08:00):
and I like this guy. His performance thus far has
been insane to the membrane in the NCAA tournament. So
the question I have for you is this Marcus Noel
who was not on anyone's radar because of his play
so far. Will he get a shot in the NBA?
(08:24):
So is he going to get a shot in the NBA?
Is that inbounds or out of bounds? So I say
that is inbounds. And if you want to take shots
to me and say I'm a prisoner of the moment
and he's too small and all that's fine. I am
proudly Benny Brightside on Marcus Noell of Kansas State. I
am drinking the purple kool aid on this cat, all right.
(08:47):
I have been mesmerized watching this dytamo play, joining the
book of NCAA tournament legends. Now, regardless of how this
turns out in Kansas State still has a big mountain
to climb to win the champion hip. Noel was not
projected to be drafted in the NBA. He was not
on anyone's draft board prior to the tournament. And the
(09:09):
reason why it's a bug's life. You don't see players
in today's NBA who are knee high to a grasshopper.
You know it's a size thing. And despite that, I'm
old enough to have watched an era of pro bouncy
ball when you could have the occasional Pip Squeak who
(09:30):
played shout out Muggsy Bogs or spud Web or several
others that were little players by comparison. But God's done it,
so I know it is possible. And even a few
years ago, there was a guard for the Celtics named
Isaiah Thomas who's still bouncing around. He got hurt. He's
he's a bit player now, but he was dominant and
(09:53):
an MVP level player before he got injured. So my
advice here to the NBA, and God knows they need
my advice, go full Danny DeVito and get Shorty that
old movie Get Shorty. He would be a wonderful gimmick
guy in the NBA, a shock and awe type player,
(10:13):
a disruptor. That is my expert assessment from years of
watching basketball and being a blowhard and a gas bag
on the radio. His skill set compensates for the lack
of height that he's the kind of player that would
be perfect in small doses as a nuisance for opposing defenders. Now,
(10:38):
the issue is always with those players that are of
his stature. Defense defense, defense, But there are ways to mitigate,
and there are more ways today than back in the
old days to hide a player like that. And in
short bursts, talk about instant offense, the Hamburger helper offensive style.
He would be a great backup point guard that plays
(11:00):
twenty minutes a game. And hey, I don't know that
he'll be drafted anymore, maybe the second round, but bring
him to the people's team undrafted free agent or second
round prick pick. I don't care. Team him up with
the claw all right, last thing here, So I'd also
like to I want to this other games going on
other than this Kansas State game. Obviously Arkansas played and
(11:22):
they played Connecticut kind of. It wasn't much of a game.
And so the question on that game that many people
are yapping about. Did Arkansas coach and former Fox Sports
Radio contributor Eric Musselman jinks the Razorbacks with his shirtless
dance the other day when they beat Kansas? So, no,
(11:43):
that's a that's a bad bell, that's a bat at
the answers. No, now, many pundits here, now that's a
bad bell. That's a bad stop the bell, now stop
it now. Many pundits are dancing right now on the
hogs grave. And they sucked. That's why they's celebrating that.
Musselman's team got blown to smithereens by Connecticut and Yukon.
(12:06):
To their credit, they put on a master class defensively
and offensively. Arkansas was absolutely boat raced in that game.
But memo to the fashionistas of sportsmanship, you can go
jump in an ice cold lake. Okay, spoiler alert, The
outcome of this game had nothing to do with Eric
(12:30):
Musselman becoming a Chippindale's dancer after beating the Jayhawks. No relation.
Things went haywire. It happens. You enjoy the journey, and
remember the old razorblade. It's an Okam's razors situation. The
simplest answer is most often correct, and the more complicated
explanations are often not correct. The razorbacks sucked at a
(12:52):
time you cannot suck. Arkansas shot less than thirty two.
They couldn't make a three point five of sixteen in
Connecticut rarely missed. They shot almost sixty percent in that game. Meanwhile,
the late game, we'll touch on that briefly, what did
you make of UCLA blowing a fourteen point first half lead.
(13:16):
They had a thirteen point lead midway through, they came back,
they took the lead, and then they lost to Gonzaga.
So it was clearly alarming for the Bruins. It was
great for the Zags, but the Bruins took a siesta
for more than half of the second half of the game.
They went a wool. Maybe they went to a casino
(13:37):
to have a buffet in Vegas, but they shot fifty
one percent in the first half. You saw the game,
you know they went over eleven minutes without making a
field goal in the second half, and that sounds wretched bad.
But you know why, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
I just the overnight show around here, but McK cronin's
team was on fumes. However, that is not an excuse.
(13:58):
I know they were shorthanded. Do your job. The Bruins
were preposterously bad for the bulk of the second half,
and then they figured something out in the final couple
of minutes. They had the full court press that caused
the game to shift back in their favor. It was
like a slipping slide for the Zags, but they still
ended up blowing it in the end. Just a middling
(14:19):
second half, and UCLA is in the Elite eight right now,
shorthanded or not. But if ifs and butts were candy
and nuts, the Wizard of Westwood would still be coaching,
alive and well. For the Gutty Little Bruins and the
other game which gets note buzz, the volunteers have been
eliminated as Florida Atlantic. Little Florida Atlantic, who also stunk
(14:42):
in the first half of that game. They're known as
the Owls. The Owls. They want an eighteen to two
run in the second half. I was flipping over to that,
but I was not gonna lie to you. I was
more focused on some other things there. But the Owls
missed eleven of their fourteen three point shots. They end
up winning the game, so Tennessee is out. There's trying
(15:04):
to get to the Elite eight second time in program history,
but they are gonzo. See you later. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
and the iHeartRadio app a home danger of a story
(15:24):
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Maller Show. As we are in the air everywhere like workmates,
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(16:10):
Await tire buying shit be So I leave this hour
coming from the NFL. It sounds like a shot a
Shaggy Dog story. It sounds like a shaggy dog story.
But we have a real life cliffhanger involving the Baltimore
Ravens and the quarterback who may not be a Baltimore
(16:33):
Raven anymore at his time for our obligatory Mallard monologue
on mister Jackson, and we have a follow up to
a story that we discussed you and I in a
previous episode of the show, The Lamar Jackson Free Agency Story.
Has gone to the Kingdom of the absurd. Did you hear?
(16:58):
Maybe not? We have had confirmation around the nation. NFL
officials confirming via a spirited memo warning from the Players
Association accorded. This internal memo, which went public, was sent
to all the members of the Cartel of Football a
(17:19):
courtesy of the NFL Players Association. Via the NFL, a
man named Ken Francis has been illegally contacting various clubs
trying to persuade them to enter into deep negotiation with
Lamar Jackson. Quote. Violation of this rule may result in
(17:44):
disapproval of any offer sheet or resulting player contract entered
into by mister Jackson and the new club Jackson, who
was of course signed to that non exclusive franch shys
tagged by Baltimore. We've talked about this quite often. But
(18:05):
if you haven't been paying attention because you've been sleeping,
bad job by you. But I think you know by
now that Lamar is doing it his own way, and
he is his own agent. His mom's helping him out
with contract negotiations, and some people from the union, but
that's it. So the revelation from the Football Nation that
(18:26):
Lamar it has now been confirmed as a non registered
buddy and a mystery man involved that set off alarm
bells around the NFL and in our little world it's
a big deal. In the real world, not that big
a deal, but we live in our world, so it's
a big deal. The question as we discuss, how do
(18:47):
you explain this latest chapter in the Lamar Jackson story.
So I've got animaniacs, improv and finger biting. Finger biting.
I will combine all of these things together, and I
am going to make a nice home gym is what
I'm going to make. I'll explain why in a minute now.
(19:09):
First of all, Lamar Jackson, when I saw this story
and my phone blew up at about the same time
when this started going around, I did not see it myself.
People directed me towards the story buddies of mine, and
I said, oh man, I said, this has gotta be satire.
This has gotta be my old buddy sports Talk Barry,
or one of the many parody sports guys on social media.
(19:34):
I had to be one of those dopes. And I
I don't know about that. I mean, I think it's legit.
Lamar Jackson digging deep into his bag of tricks working
in the room. I do not ever recall I've been
doing this a while now. I don't ever recall the NFL.
Maybe you do, and you can correct me. I don't
ever recall the NFL sending out a memorandum to warn
(19:57):
members of the cartel that a franchise tag quarterback has
somebody illegally working as their right hand man. But here
we are, and it's wonderful. It's Bravo, bravo. Lamar Jackson
is running an independent playhouse. It's kabuki theater, is what
(20:17):
it is. He's got his buddy, the International Man of
Mystery writing shotgun. Now that would be the Sphinx, like
Ken Francis, who this is crazy? The last twenty four
hours in the life of Lamar they have been like
an episode of Animaniacs, the old cartoon the Pinky and
(20:42):
the Brain feature in Animaniacs, the classic from back in
the day. And in this cartoon bubble over my head
thinking of Pinky in the brain, Lamar plays the role
of the brain, and this guy Ken Francis is Pinky
and then Pinky says, gee, Brain, what are we gonna
do tonight? And Lynn Lamar playing the role of the
(21:03):
brain says the same thing we do every night, try
to check over the world. It's just great. Oh, it's
so good. I cannot wait to find out what the
hell's really going on now. Secondly, so let's get a
little deeper into the weeds. Who is this cat who
is working with Lamar Jackson. So here's what I've learned
(21:26):
from a minute long investigation because I have a lot
of free time. Ken Francis is his name, and businessman
is his game. He is based in the Fort Lauderdale,
Florida area. We are told that he is the founder
of an exercise company. If you want to know where
he went to school, Daytona's State College, a fine institution
(21:49):
of higher learning, but not quite up to the standard
of Saddleback College. Now more importantly, he is also Lamar
Jackson's new business partner, at least relatively new by way
of illustration. Shortly after the story was fed by state
sponsored PROVDA NFL news service around the echo chamber. Shortly after,
(22:13):
the memo got bounced all over the plays and this
news came out about this Ken Francis went viral. Lamar
Jackson pounced at the opportunity, confirming the existence of Ken Francis. Now,
he denied that the guy was negotiating for him, but
he confirmed the guy exists. It's not a satire, it's
not a parody account on social media or some TikTok guy.
(22:34):
It's a real person. The guy's legit. There's a real
guy named Ken Francis. And how do we know. Lamar
said it. He pounced at the opportunity to promote a
product that he said would be available in the summer.
It's a portable gym, sent out a video. In the video,
he can be seen using said portable exercise product. So
(22:56):
this has led to some people saying that that means
this higher thing, the fake agent story, was staged. It
was staged by Lamar Jackson. So let me ask the question,
Lamar Jackson teaming up with somebody named Ken Francis here,
(23:17):
fake agent staging this whole thing. Thumbs up or thumbs
down on that? So I am going thumbs down thumbs
down on that. I do not believe that this was
a carefully crafted marketing plan. My spidy like senses tell
me that is chicken crap instead of choreography. This was
(23:44):
open mic night at the improv chuckles comedy club. And
we know Lamar Jackson from washing him play and appreciating
what he does on the football field, that he's nimble,
but he's not that nimble. He ad libbed that part
of the story when the poop hit the fan, when
the chicken poop hit the fan. Now what is my evidence?
(24:04):
I now present my evidence, your honor. The evidence is
the empty cart. You see, Lamar sent out an infomercial
I'm not gonna lie. It look like a Saturday Night
live bit they were doing from the old days for
this portable gym. So he hit a link to a
Twitter account which then had a link to a website
(24:25):
for said portable gym. So I clicked on it. Why
not maybe I could get a gym. Who wouldn't want
a nice portable gym? So I clicked on this link,
and then I clicked on the next link, and I
got to the website. It's a business partner of Lamar Jackson.
So when you click on the checkout cart to buy
(24:48):
said Jim. When you click on that, you notice the
gym is not available for purchase. So, just to recap
app you get millions of free advertising dollars and your
Lamar Jackson promoting a product and you muffed it. The
(25:11):
raven quarterback muffed it. You talk about dropping the ball
and whoop see. So you sent out a commercial and
you announced the product will not be available till summer today.
Who goofed? I've got to know all right, final fun.
So let's turn our attention into the NFL. Why did
(25:32):
the NFL make this memo to Lamar Jackson public? So
I would like to play a game that we do
from time to time. It's called Connect the dots. You
might have played when you were younger, maybe you still
play today. So let's play the Mallard Show. Connect the dots.
The first dot is that they had their arm twisted
the NFL by the Players Association. So that's the first dot,
(25:52):
So connect that dot. The next dot is who is
being pestered the Players Association by SERTA fied agents that
actually are part of the cabal. So then you connect
that dot, and then you connect another dot because those
agents are biting their fingernails, squirming like a worm. It
(26:13):
is a very touchy topic. These contract mavens are hypersensitive
right now, They're clemped with emotion. A little birdie tells
me that these are tumultuous times for the high profile reps.
Why because Lamar Jackson, while he seems rather harmless, he
(26:35):
doesn't have an agent. He's doing things his own way.
He's promoting a gym that doesn't even exist yet. Lamar
Jackson is an ominous presence. This is a cautionary tale.
He is threatening, and how is he threatening? He's not personal.
It's just business survival of the fittest. If Lamar Jackson
is able to somehow finagle MEGAGAMEGAMEGAMEGA millions dollar contract act
(27:00):
without legal counsel, that's a problem because can you say copycat? Yeah,
there'll be other players, star players, big money places. The
NFL doesn't care when guys like Jacobe Brissette do it
without an agent, because who cares. They don't make anywhere
near the amount of money that Lamar Jackson's gonna get.
Lamar Jackson does it, and you talk about upsetting the
(27:24):
whole balance the access of sports. That's a food bar
situation according to the agents. So stay tuned. This is great,
and this is just another layer to the cake. It's
gonna be like a twelve layer cake. It's awesome, It's
I want to know how this origin is. Do you
think Lamar was talking to the guy and said, oh man,
(27:46):
no one's offering me a contract. This sucks. And this
guy who's like, in my head, I don't know who
this guy's I never seen a photo of him, but
this cat Ken Francis is like a slimy, kind of
slippery sales guy. We all know people like that, right,
really slick. He's very verbose and he's a bit of
a charlatan as a sales Guy's like, no problem, Lamar.
(28:07):
You know what, I'm gonna start calling teams. I'll get
offers for you. Don't worry about it. I'll be I'll
be your guy. You know. I'm not going to negotiate,
but I'll call him up. I can't be in trouble
for that. I'll just start calling. I'll call the cold
So call the Patriots. Yeah, maybe Belichick will watch you.
I don't know. Whatever you need, Lamar, whatever you need,
be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
(28:27):
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific two
NBA Insiders podcasting twice a week to plug you right
into the NBA grape fight, all happening in only one place.
This League Uncut the new NBA podcast with Me Chris
Haynes and me Mark Stein join us as we team
up to expound on everything we're covering. Hearing and Jason.
(28:51):
Listen to This League Uncut with Chris Haynes and Mark
Stein on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you
get your podcast. It's Meller. How about that to the
third degree? This is one big band gets grilled and
we bring in the league. Hoop aloop. It was reported
(29:12):
on Wednesday that the Arizona Cardinals are having are struggling
to get the return that they wanted DeAndre Hopkins trade.
The struggle is real, Coop. Yes, the Cardinals were hoping
to get a second rounder, and it's being suggested that
they might have to settle for something only modestly better
than the fifth and sixth rounder that the Cowboys gave
up for Brandon Cooks. God forbid, Ben, what do you
think the Cards will end up getting for Hopkins? So
(29:33):
the first thought I have on DeAndre Hopkins is he's
obviously a bigger name than Brandon Cooks, but his contract
is not attractive. I'm a salary cap truther. I don't
care about it just move some decimal points around. He's
also got a lot of carry on baggage, which is
a bigger problem for me. Looking into my crystal ball,
we see DeAndre Hopkins being traded for a fourth round
(29:54):
pick and some other conditional draft compensation. The biggest concern.
The biggest concern is the fact that he's thirty years old,
and this is normally a point of demarcation where things
start getting a little gummy for wide receivers. And the
whispers in the echo chamber that have been bouncing around
(30:15):
and have reached my radar, keep an eye on the
Buffalo bills. Here we go, Buffalo, where the Buffalo rome
for DeAndre Hopkins next. Miles Garrett said in an Instagram
comment this week that he is working on getting Odell
Beckham Junior to return to the Browns. Do you think
there's any chance they'll be Jay would go back to Cleveland? Well,
(30:36):
I understand it. At least once a day o bj
does go back to the Browns. Coopa loop So, but
I'm pump lame jokes are actually I think there next time.
But Odell Beckham I think would rather go with Jay
scoop to the Ukraine at this point than go back
to Cleveland and play football there, he wants to go
to a high profile team that ain't Cleveland. I know
they got rid of Baker Mayfield. It's too perfect Beckham
(31:00):
to go back to New York and play for the
other New York team, the Jets, and have Aaron Rodgers there.
It's a made for television soap operor the NFL. It
would be great for us, it would be good for business.
So I do not see him going back Beckham to
Cleveland next. The Pelicans announced Wednesday that Zion Williamson has
(31:20):
been cleared to return to Encourt activities and that he
will be reevaluated in two weeks. I've been two weeks
from now, there will only be like a few days
left in the regular season. Do you think the Pelicans
will still be within reach of a playing spot by then?
So I've determined that Zion Williamson back when I was dating,
he's like the really good looking girl at the bar
that flirts with you and then goes home and he's
(31:41):
been malingering in Nors. I am not buying that he's
going to play. I don't believe it. He's got a
lot of dog in him in the NBA, and no
matter how many people defend him, the guy's been a
liability in New Orleans. I don't see that changing. How
did we do? He passed us to the ISA? Why what? Everything?
With Jay Scope? I won the game? Firk Dog, I want,
(32:03):
I want fir what. Fox Sports Radio has the best
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(32:25):
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lives and jobs, and they just happened to moonlight as
joke writers. You can join the underappreciated, unpaid joke writing
staff if you want to send a joke in care
(32:47):
of the Ben Maller Show at gmail dot com. Ben
Maller Show at gmail dot com. Is Weedman there, our
friend in Miami. Hello Weedman, Old Bang, I love you,
Shang Hello Lisa, Hi, Lisa? Oh all right, look at that?
All right here? We go, very exciting, here we go.
(33:08):
What is Lizzo's favorite party pastry? I don't know what
is Lizzo's favorite party pastry. She's a big fan of
the cocaine bear claw. She loves that in the cues.
What did a lot of people say about Lizzo when
she first showed up on the music scene. Oh, I
(33:28):
don't know. What did they say? They said, isn't she precious?
Suffer Todds, the comedian, professional joke writer and uh Anny
Award winner. What is the difference between Tom Brady and Lizzo? Um? Well,
I would think there are a lot of differences, but
(33:49):
I don't know what are the difference? No? Not, Actually,
when Lizzo gets roasted, nothing is left on the table, Eddie.
That's Gordons big bands, lame jokes a week. Did you
hear that the Panthers might draft Lizzo number one overall
as a running back. I did not hear that. Yeah,
they think she'll be able to crush for the competition, Eddie.
(34:10):
So that's Alex the cynical. Why doesn't Lizzo wear a
red dress anymore? I don't know why. Well, she kept
getting annoyed because the kids would expect her to run
through a wall and yell oh yeah, and she didn't
like that. That is Jeoffardy outdating himself with that joke.
(34:32):
Have you heard why Lizzo fans in Florida are upset?
God know what's their problem? Yeah? When scientists said a
five thousand mile wide blob was headed towards them, they
assumed it was Lizzo. You see that blob of seaweed
going towards Florida, that's a furg Dog sent that one
in What was Lizzo's favorite doll when she was a kid.
(34:55):
I don't know what was your favorite doll? Well, it
was It was not a Barbie doll that it was.
It was Strawberry Shortcake. Brandon from Boston said that one.
Did you hear that Lizzo got a new belt for
her birthday? I didn't hear that. Now, Yeah, she was
able to use as a watch band. So it's a
it's a good story that you guy Pocket Boston sent
(35:18):
that one. Which Benny award did Lizzo get snubbed for?
I don't know what what award did she get snubbed?
The award for being the biggest fan Eddie? Yeah, the
biggest she should have I think she should have won
that award. That's a that's a bad job. That joke
came from Steven sent that joke in, I believe. All right,
(35:40):
Next up, how what do we have here? What is
Lizzo's favorite scent? I don't know what's her favorite scent?
She loves Bartolo cologne, Joe Daddy in rowan Oake, Virginia.
You know that Lizzo takes a lot of pictures with
fans Eddie, Oh yeah, sure of course. For some reason though,
(36:02):
she's always the background. Yeah, you got any jokes over there?
Coop negative? No coop, but jokes. Let's get to the
weed Man roast. How did we man? How did weed
Man meet Lizzo? How did he meet her? Yeah? I
don't know. Well, they were both at KFC licking other
people's fingers? Is what? What is more effective than tear
(36:31):
gas to disperse an unruly crowd of young people on
spring break in Miami? A weed Man appearance? No, no, no,
Having weed Man as a greeter at the airport, That's
that's what really does. Now you go to Hawaii, you
get that lay when you go to Hawaii, when you
meet weed Man, You're like, all right, I'll get back
to get out of here. If you can't find weed Man,
(36:52):
where is she? Your look, I don't know where under
a crack rock, Eddie. You just look under surfer Todd
the comedian. Did you hear the weed man bought a suit?
Bought a suit? Yeah, I bought a suit, big news.
Congratulations weed Man. It's a black heavy duty trash bag
with a red sox staple to the top, So congratulation
(37:14):
between Then that's Alex. The cynical is just mean. How
does weed man make smoked rats? I don't know how
to make that cook He cooks them unused ash trays.
Is that true weed Been Yes? Ye, Alex Alex and
(37:36):
the synical. I feel like he's getting annoyed it. Why
did weed man cross the road? Why to relocate his house? Eddie?
He was moving. So what do weed man Hippie? That
was Alex and Cynical again. What do weed Man, Hippie
and Austin Ekeler have in common? Oh? I don't know
(37:57):
where they have in common. Well, they both have the
same chance of getting a big payday from the chargers.
So there's big Man's jokes of the week. Why doesn't
weed Man have to pay his mice? I don't know why.
Why doesn't they have to pay his mice? Well after
(38:18):
after they stole his teeth, they are considered indentured servants.
So Kipp in Maine people are vicious, Eddie, they're vicious.
Did you hear that? We'll move on from weed Man.
Did you hear the one one legged Bama Man got
a new job? No? What's his job? He now works
at ihop. That's from the al. Uh, there you go.
(38:40):
What do you call the racist fish, Eddie? Racist fish?
I don't know. Angry gill is what you call it.
That's Alex the Synegal. There's a new sleep clinic that's
really helping people with insomnia, Eddie might mindsomnia? Yeah, yeah,
it's It's called Virgo and service is what it's. What's
(39:01):
scary than Jed who fled with chainsaws? Eddie? Oh but nothing,
I would think. No, Tony from the Bay, that's from Joe,
Daddy and Root. Thank you weak man. There he goes
Ben wrote that joke. Tony. No, I didn't know. That's
Joe and Roanoke, Virginia. I don't know who that is.
I've never met him. Be sure to catch live editions
of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
(39:24):
eleven pm Pacific. You want to say out to Marcel?
Yeah yeah, let's say all right, let's go fire over there.
All right, let's go to Marcel and Brooklyn for a
quick get together. These two blood rivals here, Marcel and
whoopee Pie Blair. Hello, Marcel, marself? How are you doing
that on Twitter? How? I don't even have a Twitter, marself?
(39:49):
But how are you doing? I heard Marcel? I need
to ask you a question, buddy, how are you doing?
Because I heard there was a fire in her not
because the words were you were and it was a
part man fire, and I was hearing it was being
good a lot of people how to leave their apartments
and stuff above a barber shop? And how are you doing? Though? What?
(40:10):
Stop dropping? Whoa you? Hacker? Marcel? He's being nice, Marcell,
will be Pie Blair's trying to be a friend of yours.
H Ben, No, he'st the total unfriend enemy and he's
just like a Blair hacker. And Blair putin, get a hacker?
(40:33):
What are you? What are you? Chop liver, Oh worry, chomp,
liver you are, Yeah, well, who do you think you are?
Budd who do you think you are? You? Selfish hacker?
You come out? Which will take it? Facebook face? Would
you come to mantil I could take you down and
(40:54):
wrestle you down on the turf and put to your
face and turf and then you'd be done. You you
know what, you know what? Guess what? Chicken? But you
look like a chicken butt? Okay, thank you, thank you both.
All right, that's it, thank you. All right. On that note,
(41:17):
I'm done getting one of those guys. Thank you. Let's
get over the Cool the Coop Scoop on Entertainment, all
right for Holly ho chicken. But Blair oh Man, hopefully
my bosses are fast asleep back now. I won't be
back on Monday. Let's go to coop for the Coop
Scoop on entertainment. Holy crap, alright, ben Um, that's why
(41:43):
the attend that didn't happen? Right? Cool? Are those are two?
Those are two multi time caller of the years. That's
the best that we have to offer. And they say
talk radio's gone down? All right? Heading over to the theaters,
(42:03):
we've got John Wick Chapter four coming out this weekend.
My wife just saw that tonight. I bet there. You didn't.
You didn't go see it with her? No, I have
a job, I have to work. I couldn't. It's like
a really long movie. She said it like, oh is it? Yeah?
Like really really really long. Well, I have heard that
this is getting the best reviews of the entire john Yes,
(42:28):
it has a ninety five percent Rotten Tomato score. My golly, yes,
I look at that. Have you seen any of the
John Wick films, ben Noe? I saw the first two,
I did not see the third one. I've seen them all.
They're great. I love them. And forty nine minutes. Whoa,
that's a lot of shooting. It's like an American week
(42:48):
baseball game. Come on, Wow, that's pretty long for a
John Wick. But I'll check it out. I'll let you
guys know how it is. That is about an hour
and twenty minutes too long, do you know? Don't you
want to get your money's worth? No, Because movies and
shows I was told by so many years ago, I
have to be ninety minutes. That's the sweet spot. Ninety minutes.
(43:10):
When you see a show in the Vegas or Broadway,
it's ninety minutes. It's good. I wanted to last forever.
That's true. I agree with you. All right, I'm moving
moving over to television. There's not much going on today,
but on Sunday night, we've got the return of a
couple of good shows. First of all, we have the
fourth and final season of HBO's Succession at nine pm.
(43:35):
This is probably one of the best shows on television,
so I mean, if you haven't seen it, try and
try and catch up before Sunday. But just like all
the rest of the seasons, this one's getting great rave reviews.
Definitely recommend checking that out on HBO. And then also
coming back, this is the second season of Yellow Jackets
(43:56):
on Showtime. That is also at nine pm. That one
if if you don't recall, if you haven't seen it,
it's kind of like a Lord of the Flies type
situation a high school. I can't remember if they were
softball or soccer. I think they were a soccer team,
but they're playing crashes and they're all like, then weird
stuff starts happening. I think some of them eat each other.
(44:18):
That's yeah, it's nice. Yeah, But this season sees Elijah
Wood and Lauren Ambrose joined the cast, so it should
be should be good stuff getting good reviews. And then, finally,
last but not least, we have a new Apple TV
Plus show premiering on Wednesday. This one's called The Big
(44:38):
Door Prize. It's a comedy where basically it takes place
in a southern town where a mysterious photo booth sized
machine appears in a grocery store and for just a
few dollars, the machine promises to reveal each customer's true destiny,
which prompts the local townspeople to make drastic changes to
their lives. That one stars Chris O'Dowd. And that is Wednesday,
(45:00):
Apple TV Plus. And that is Coop Scoop on Entertainment.
Thanks for listening to the best of the Ben Mallers
Show podcast. Be sure to catch us live every weeknight
from two to six Eastern eleven pm to three am
Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and to find your local
station for the Ben Mallers Show at Fox Sports Radio
dot com. You can find it there or stream us
live every night on the iHeartRadio app by searching FSR.
(00:23):
This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
Fox Sports Radio, the sweet nectar of it all. Welcome
in the beginning of another edition of the Ben Mallers Show.
As we are in the air everywhere as audio buddies
(00:45):
providing more satisfying sports talking less. We don't coast to coast,
border of order and beyond on the past and lavishly
powerful microphones of FSR, MMA, NAY eating live from the
side the ringside for the chatter. We are broadcasting live
(01:07):
from the tirac dot com studios. Ti iraq dot com
will help you get there in unmatched selection, fast free shipping,
free road hazard protection and over ten thousand or recommended installers.
Ti iraq dot com the way tire buying should beat.
So I leave this hour coming from the sweetness as
(01:28):
in the sweet sixteen as college basketball ended its brief hiatus.
They hadn't played since Sunday. They tipped off with not one,
not two, not three, how about four games? Now, one
of those stood out more than the others. You can
say two of them. But for our purposes right now,
you gotta start with one, man, you gotta start with one.
And so we're gonna focus in on Kansas State and
(01:52):
Michigan State, which was early on the card, one of
the early matchups in the early television window. Kansas State,
led by Mark keis Noel. He didn't again. The little
guy get it again. He's at the NCAA tournament record
for assist. You get an assist, you get an assist,
(02:15):
you get everyone gets an assist. Single game record nineteen
nineteen helpers from Marcus Noel and Kansas State with a thrilling,
agonizing ninety eight ninety three win. There was a last
second bucket just at tackle on a couple extra points.
(02:37):
It was one possession game. Michigan State had the ball,
they screwed it up and at Madison Square guard the Mecca.
The hometown kid Noel who's from the New York City area.
There he had twenty points, also had five steals in
a performance for the ages and college basketball lore, and
(03:00):
he did it in dramatic I only had one leg.
If you saw the game, you know what I'm talking about.
Everybody played hobbled most of the second half. He rolled
his right ankle just minutes into the I think it's
just a couple of minutes into the second half there
as Kansas State had a four point lead when he
got hurt. He left the game, and they had the
(03:23):
very dramatic camera shots he was getting taped. Is he
going to come back in the game. Oh the drama.
You could cut the tension with a butter knife on
the sidelines there for the Wildcats. And Noel ends up
only missing less than three minutes of game time, and
he came back in and he had dominated the first half.
He had five points in tennisis in the first half.
(03:44):
So we'll get back to him. But the better story
here came from the losing locker room as Michigan State
takes it on the chin. There they go down and
overtime and one of the few coaches that matter in
call legion basketball time, Izzo, stole the spotlight. Did you
hear what tom Izzo had to say post game, perhaps
(04:07):
not following the game on CBS, they caught up with
the grizzled Michigan State head coach Tom Izzo, who made
a comment in his opening statement when asked the question
that rubbed many people the wrong way. Izzo used the
L word, the L word when talking about Kansas State,
(04:30):
as Warner Wolf would say, let's go to the audio tape.
Give them credit, but I mean they banked in two
shot clock threes. There were, and they made some big plays,
but some of those plays weren't big plays. They were
lucky plays. No, he said it. He said the L word.
He said it. He said it L word lucky, lucky. Wow,
(04:50):
wow tom Izzo, Wow, bro, heartbreaker, you heard he said.
Give them, meaning Kansas State credit. They banked in shot
clock threes. They made some big plays, but some of
those big plays weren't big plays. They were lucky plays.
He said it. Play it again, Roberto, play it again,
(05:10):
play it again. Give them credit. But I mean they
banked in two shot clock threes. There were, and they
made some big plays, but some of those plays weren't
big plays. They were lucky plays. No. The dagger, the dagger,
the right hook. So let us just get all talk
talking about this. So the question Tom is O sitting
you just heard it, tom is O say in Kansas
(05:31):
State was lucky? Right? They were? They weren't big plays,
they were lucky plays to beat his Michigan State basketball team.
Was this a compliment or a backhanded jab? So I've
got Seneca, de Vito and Razor Blade and we will
(05:52):
line all of these things up and we will knock
them down like dominoes. Not to lead off here, we
underst having done this job for a while and part
of the job is talking about what's going on in
that business. That this is not tom Izzo's first barbecue.
He has been to the picnic called March Madness many times.
(06:12):
So this comment was obviously in the backhanded, backhanded jab. Family.
To put it in another way, Kansas State wasn't better
than old Sparty. They weren't. They just happened to have
Lady Luck on their side. Now I disagree here. Did
(06:33):
Kansas State make several circus shots in this game? Yes?
But was that the reason that they won the game? No?
And was it even lucky? Right? It was the Roman
philosopher Seneca who was credited with saying at best that quote,
luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, which means,
(06:53):
if I interpret that properly, you make your own luck.
But it's also all about perspective. And so if you
want to go down the garden path, and I will
because I have four hours of a blank audio canvas
to paint. So I'm gonna go down that garden path.
So let's play the game. If Kansas State was lucky,
(07:14):
riddle me this Batman or Tom Izzo. So Kansas State
is lucky, Marquis Noel. If they are lucky, would not
have been hopping on a pogo stick early in the
second half. He would have stayed healthy because in a
parallel dimension, he doesn't roll his ankle. And Kansas State
(07:37):
pulls away from Michigan State, the game doesn't even go
it overtime, so you don't need those ridiculous shots. And
as they said back in Goodwill Hunting, how do you
like them apples? Tomzzo? All right? Furthermore, so, I want
to address my favorite player in all of college basketball,
Marcus Noel. I'm a fan. My name is Ben Maller,
(08:00):
and I like this guy. His performance thus far has
been insane to the membrane in the NCAA tournament. So
the question I have for you is this Marcus Noel
who was not on anyone's radar because of his play
so far. Will he get a shot in the NBA?
(08:24):
So is he going to get a shot in the NBA?
Is that inbounds or out of bounds? So I say
that is inbounds. And if you want to take shots
to me and say I'm a prisoner of the moment
and he's too small and all that's fine. I am
proudly Benny Brightside on Marcus Noell of Kansas State. I
am drinking the purple kool aid on this cat, all right.
(08:47):
I have been mesmerized watching this dytamo play, joining the
book of NCAA tournament legends. Now, regardless of how this
turns out in Kansas State still has a big mountain
to climb to win the champion hip. Noel was not
projected to be drafted in the NBA. He was not
on anyone's draft board prior to the tournament. And the
(09:09):
reason why it's a bug's life. You don't see players
in today's NBA who are knee high to a grasshopper.
You know it's a size thing. And despite that, I'm
old enough to have watched an era of pro bouncy
ball when you could have the occasional Pip Squeak who
(09:30):
played shout out Muggsy Bogs or spud Web or several
others that were little players by comparison. But God's done it,
so I know it is possible. And even a few
years ago, there was a guard for the Celtics named
Isaiah Thomas who's still bouncing around. He got hurt. He's
he's a bit player now, but he was dominant and
(09:53):
an MVP level player before he got injured. So my
advice here to the NBA, and God knows they need
my advice, go full Danny DeVito and get Shorty that
old movie Get Shorty. He would be a wonderful gimmick
guy in the NBA, a shock and awe type player,
(10:13):
a disruptor. That is my expert assessment from years of
watching basketball and being a blowhard and a gas bag
on the radio. His skill set compensates for the lack
of height that he's the kind of player that would
be perfect in small doses as a nuisance for opposing defenders. Now,
(10:38):
the issue is always with those players that are of
his stature. Defense defense, defense, But there are ways to mitigate,
and there are more ways today than back in the
old days to hide a player like that. And in
short bursts, talk about instant offense, the Hamburger helper offensive style.
He would be a great backup point guard that plays
(11:00):
twenty minutes a game. And hey, I don't know that
he'll be drafted anymore, maybe the second round, but bring
him to the people's team undrafted free agent or second
round prick pick. I don't care. Team him up with
the claw all right, last thing here, So I'd also
like to I want to this other games going on
other than this Kansas State game. Obviously Arkansas played and
(11:22):
they played Connecticut kind of. It wasn't much of a game.
And so the question on that game that many people
are yapping about. Did Arkansas coach and former Fox Sports
Radio contributor Eric Musselman jinks the Razorbacks with his shirtless
dance the other day when they beat Kansas? So, no,
(11:43):
that's a that's a bad bell, that's a bat at
the answers. No, now, many pundits here, now that's a
bad bell. That's a bad stop the bell, now stop
it now. Many pundits are dancing right now on the
hogs grave. And they sucked. That's why they's celebrating that.
Musselman's team got blown to smithereens by Connecticut and Yukon.
(12:06):
To their credit, they put on a master class defensively
and offensively. Arkansas was absolutely boat raced in that game.
But memo to the fashionistas of sportsmanship, you can go
jump in an ice cold lake. Okay, spoiler alert, The
outcome of this game had nothing to do with Eric
(12:30):
Musselman becoming a Chippindale's dancer after beating the Jayhawks. No relation.
Things went haywire. It happens. You enjoy the journey, and
remember the old razorblade. It's an Okam's razors situation. The
simplest answer is most often correct, and the more complicated
explanations are often not correct. The razorbacks sucked at a
(12:52):
time you cannot suck. Arkansas shot less than thirty two.
They couldn't make a three point five of sixteen in
Connecticut rarely missed. They shot almost sixty percent in that game. Meanwhile,
the late game, we'll touch on that briefly, what did
you make of UCLA blowing a fourteen point first half lead.
(13:16):
They had a thirteen point lead midway through, they came back,
they took the lead, and then they lost to Gonzaga.
So it was clearly alarming for the Bruins. It was
great for the Zags, but the Bruins took a siesta
for more than half of the second half of the game.
They went a wool. Maybe they went to a casino
(13:37):
to have a buffet in Vegas, but they shot fifty
one percent in the first half. You saw the game,
you know they went over eleven minutes without making a
field goal in the second half, and that sounds wretched bad.
But you know why, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
I just the overnight show around here, but McK cronin's
team was on fumes. However, that is not an excuse.
(13:58):
I know they were shorthanded. Do your job. The Bruins
were preposterously bad for the bulk of the second half,
and then they figured something out in the final couple
of minutes. They had the full court press that caused
the game to shift back in their favor. It was
like a slipping slide for the Zags, but they still
ended up blowing it in the end. Just a middling
(14:19):
second half, and UCLA is in the Elite eight right now,
shorthanded or not. But if ifs and butts were candy
and nuts, the Wizard of Westwood would still be coaching,
alive and well. For the Gutty Little Bruins and the
other game which gets note buzz, the volunteers have been
eliminated as Florida Atlantic. Little Florida Atlantic, who also stunk
(14:42):
in the first half of that game. They're known as
the Owls. The Owls. They want an eighteen to two
run in the second half. I was flipping over to that,
but I was not gonna lie to you. I was
more focused on some other things there. But the Owls
missed eleven of their fourteen three point shots. They end
up winning the game, so Tennessee is out. There's trying
(15:04):
to get to the Elite eight second time in program history,
but they are gonzo. See you later. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
and the iHeartRadio app a home danger of a story
(15:24):
Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
Maller Show. As we are in the air everywhere like workmates,
as we give you four yummy flavors all rolled into
one coast to coast, border to border and beyond, all
the best and impressively powerful microphones of fs are emanating
(15:49):
live from the waters, the murky waters of the overnight hours.
We are broadcasting live from the ti iraq dot com
studios ti iraq dot com. We'll help you get there
an unmatched selection, fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection,
and over ten thousand recommended installers tire rack dot com.
(16:10):
Await tire buying shit be So I leave this hour
coming from the NFL. It sounds like a shot a
Shaggy Dog story. It sounds like a shaggy dog story.
But we have a real life cliffhanger involving the Baltimore
Ravens and the quarterback who may not be a Baltimore
(16:33):
Raven anymore at his time for our obligatory Mallard monologue
on mister Jackson, and we have a follow up to
a story that we discussed you and I in a
previous episode of the show, The Lamar Jackson Free Agency Story.
Has gone to the Kingdom of the absurd. Did you hear?
(16:58):
Maybe not? We have had confirmation around the nation. NFL
officials confirming via a spirited memo warning from the Players
Association accorded. This internal memo, which went public, was sent
to all the members of the Cartel of Football a
(17:19):
courtesy of the NFL Players Association. Via the NFL, a
man named Ken Francis has been illegally contacting various clubs
trying to persuade them to enter into deep negotiation with
Lamar Jackson. Quote. Violation of this rule may result in
(17:44):
disapproval of any offer sheet or resulting player contract entered
into by mister Jackson and the new club Jackson, who
was of course signed to that non exclusive franch shys
tagged by Baltimore. We've talked about this quite often. But
(18:05):
if you haven't been paying attention because you've been sleeping,
bad job by you. But I think you know by
now that Lamar is doing it his own way, and
he is his own agent. His mom's helping him out
with contract negotiations, and some people from the union, but
that's it. So the revelation from the Football Nation that
(18:26):
Lamar it has now been confirmed as a non registered
buddy and a mystery man involved that set off alarm
bells around the NFL and in our little world it's
a big deal. In the real world, not that big
a deal, but we live in our world, so it's
a big deal. The question as we discuss, how do
(18:47):
you explain this latest chapter in the Lamar Jackson story.
So I've got animaniacs, improv and finger biting. Finger biting.
I will combine all of these things together, and I
am going to make a nice home gym is what
I'm going to make. I'll explain why in a minute now.
(19:09):
First of all, Lamar Jackson, when I saw this story
and my phone blew up at about the same time
when this started going around, I did not see it myself.
People directed me towards the story buddies of mine, and
I said, oh man, I said, this has gotta be satire.
This has gotta be my old buddy sports Talk Barry,
or one of the many parody sports guys on social media.
(19:34):
I had to be one of those dopes. And I
I don't know about that. I mean, I think it's legit.
Lamar Jackson digging deep into his bag of tricks working
in the room. I do not ever recall I've been
doing this a while now. I don't ever recall the NFL.
Maybe you do, and you can correct me. I don't
ever recall the NFL sending out a memorandum to warn
(19:57):
members of the cartel that a franchise tag quarterback has
somebody illegally working as their right hand man. But here
we are, and it's wonderful. It's Bravo, bravo. Lamar Jackson
is running an independent playhouse. It's kabuki theater, is what
(20:17):
it is. He's got his buddy, the International Man of
Mystery writing shotgun. Now that would be the Sphinx, like
Ken Francis, who this is crazy? The last twenty four
hours in the life of Lamar they have been like
an episode of Animaniacs, the old cartoon the Pinky and
(20:42):
the Brain feature in Animaniacs, the classic from back in
the day. And in this cartoon bubble over my head
thinking of Pinky in the brain, Lamar plays the role
of the brain, and this guy Ken Francis is Pinky
and then Pinky says, gee, Brain, what are we gonna
do tonight? And Lynn Lamar playing the role of the
(21:03):
brain says the same thing we do every night, try
to check over the world. It's just great. Oh, it's
so good. I cannot wait to find out what the
hell's really going on now. Secondly, so let's get a
little deeper into the weeds. Who is this cat who
is working with Lamar Jackson. So here's what I've learned
(21:26):
from a minute long investigation because I have a lot
of free time. Ken Francis is his name, and businessman
is his game. He is based in the Fort Lauderdale,
Florida area. We are told that he is the founder
of an exercise company. If you want to know where
he went to school, Daytona's State College, a fine institution
(21:49):
of higher learning, but not quite up to the standard
of Saddleback College. Now more importantly, he is also Lamar
Jackson's new business partner, at least relatively new by way
of illustration. Shortly after the story was fed by state
sponsored PROVDA NFL news service around the echo chamber. Shortly after,
(22:13):
the memo got bounced all over the plays and this
news came out about this Ken Francis went viral. Lamar
Jackson pounced at the opportunity, confirming the existence of Ken Francis. Now,
he denied that the guy was negotiating for him, but
he confirmed the guy exists. It's not a satire, it's
not a parody account on social media or some TikTok guy.
(22:34):
It's a real person. The guy's legit. There's a real
guy named Ken Francis. And how do we know. Lamar
said it. He pounced at the opportunity to promote a
product that he said would be available in the summer.
It's a portable gym, sent out a video. In the video,
he can be seen using said portable exercise product. So
(22:56):
this has led to some people saying that that means
this higher thing, the fake agent story, was staged. It
was staged by Lamar Jackson. So let me ask the question,
Lamar Jackson teaming up with somebody named Ken Francis here,
(23:17):
fake agent staging this whole thing. Thumbs up or thumbs
down on that? So I am going thumbs down thumbs
down on that. I do not believe that this was
a carefully crafted marketing plan. My spidy like senses tell
me that is chicken crap instead of choreography. This was
(23:44):
open mic night at the improv chuckles comedy club. And
we know Lamar Jackson from washing him play and appreciating
what he does on the football field, that he's nimble,
but he's not that nimble. He ad libbed that part
of the story when the poop hit the fan, when
the chicken poop hit the fan. Now what is my evidence?
(24:04):
I now present my evidence, your honor. The evidence is
the empty cart. You see, Lamar sent out an infomercial
I'm not gonna lie. It look like a Saturday Night
live bit they were doing from the old days for
this portable gym. So he hit a link to a
Twitter account which then had a link to a website
(24:25):
for said portable gym. So I clicked on it. Why
not maybe I could get a gym. Who wouldn't want
a nice portable gym? So I clicked on this link,
and then I clicked on the next link, and I
got to the website. It's a business partner of Lamar Jackson.
So when you click on the checkout cart to buy
(24:48):
said Jim. When you click on that, you notice the
gym is not available for purchase. So, just to recap
app you get millions of free advertising dollars and your
Lamar Jackson promoting a product and you muffed it. The
(25:11):
raven quarterback muffed it. You talk about dropping the ball
and whoop see. So you sent out a commercial and
you announced the product will not be available till summer today.
Who goofed? I've got to know all right, final fun.
So let's turn our attention into the NFL. Why did
(25:32):
the NFL make this memo to Lamar Jackson public? So
I would like to play a game that we do
from time to time. It's called Connect the dots. You
might have played when you were younger, maybe you still
play today. So let's play the Mallard Show. Connect the dots.
The first dot is that they had their arm twisted
the NFL by the Players Association. So that's the first dot,
(25:52):
So connect that dot. The next dot is who is
being pestered the Players Association by SERTA fied agents that
actually are part of the cabal. So then you connect
that dot, and then you connect another dot because those
agents are biting their fingernails, squirming like a worm. It
(26:13):
is a very touchy topic. These contract mavens are hypersensitive
right now, They're clemped with emotion. A little birdie tells
me that these are tumultuous times for the high profile reps.
Why because Lamar Jackson, while he seems rather harmless, he
(26:35):
doesn't have an agent. He's doing things his own way.
He's promoting a gym that doesn't even exist yet. Lamar
Jackson is an ominous presence. This is a cautionary tale.
He is threatening, and how is he threatening? He's not personal.
It's just business survival of the fittest. If Lamar Jackson
is able to somehow finagle MEGAGAMEGAMEGAMEGA millions dollar contract act
(27:00):
without legal counsel, that's a problem because can you say copycat? Yeah,
there'll be other players, star players, big money places. The
NFL doesn't care when guys like Jacobe Brissette do it
without an agent, because who cares. They don't make anywhere
near the amount of money that Lamar Jackson's gonna get.
Lamar Jackson does it, and you talk about upsetting the
(27:24):
whole balance the access of sports. That's a food bar
situation according to the agents. So stay tuned. This is great,
and this is just another layer to the cake. It's
gonna be like a twelve layer cake. It's awesome, It's
I want to know how this origin is. Do you
think Lamar was talking to the guy and said, oh man,
(27:46):
no one's offering me a contract. This sucks. And this
guy who's like, in my head, I don't know who
this guy's I never seen a photo of him, but
this cat Ken Francis is like a slimy, kind of
slippery sales guy. We all know people like that, right,
really slick. He's very verbose and he's a bit of
a charlatan as a sales Guy's like, no problem, Lamar.
(28:07):
You know what, I'm gonna start calling teams. I'll get
offers for you. Don't worry about it. I'll be I'll
be your guy. You know. I'm not going to negotiate,
but I'll call him up. I can't be in trouble
for that. I'll just start calling. I'll call the cold
So call the Patriots. Yeah, maybe Belichick will watch you.
I don't know. Whatever you need, Lamar, whatever you need,
be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
(28:27):
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific two
NBA Insiders podcasting twice a week to plug you right
into the NBA grape fight, all happening in only one place.
This League Uncut the new NBA podcast with Me Chris
Haynes and me Mark Stein join us as we team
up to expound on everything we're covering. Hearing and Jason.
(28:51):
Listen to This League Uncut with Chris Haynes and Mark
Stein on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you
get your podcast. It's Meller. How about that to the
third degree? This is one big band gets grilled and
we bring in the league. Hoop aloop. It was reported
(29:12):
on Wednesday that the Arizona Cardinals are having are struggling
to get the return that they wanted DeAndre Hopkins trade.
The struggle is real, Coop. Yes, the Cardinals were hoping
to get a second rounder, and it's being suggested that
they might have to settle for something only modestly better
than the fifth and sixth rounder that the Cowboys gave
up for Brandon Cooks. God forbid, Ben, what do you
think the Cards will end up getting for Hopkins? So
(29:33):
the first thought I have on DeAndre Hopkins is he's
obviously a bigger name than Brandon Cooks, but his contract
is not attractive. I'm a salary cap truther. I don't
care about it just move some decimal points around. He's
also got a lot of carry on baggage, which is
a bigger problem for me. Looking into my crystal ball,
we see DeAndre Hopkins being traded for a fourth round
(29:54):
pick and some other conditional draft compensation. The biggest concern.
The biggest concern is the fact that he's thirty years old,
and this is normally a point of demarcation where things
start getting a little gummy for wide receivers. And the
whispers in the echo chamber that have been bouncing around
(30:15):
and have reached my radar, keep an eye on the
Buffalo bills. Here we go, Buffalo, where the Buffalo rome
for DeAndre Hopkins next. Miles Garrett said in an Instagram
comment this week that he is working on getting Odell
Beckham Junior to return to the Browns. Do you think
there's any chance they'll be Jay would go back to Cleveland? Well,
(30:36):
I understand it. At least once a day o bj
does go back to the Browns. Coopa loop So, but
I'm pump lame jokes are actually I think there next time.
But Odell Beckham I think would rather go with Jay
scoop to the Ukraine at this point than go back
to Cleveland and play football there, he wants to go
to a high profile team that ain't Cleveland. I know
they got rid of Baker Mayfield. It's too perfect Beckham
(31:00):
to go back to New York and play for the
other New York team, the Jets, and have Aaron Rodgers there.
It's a made for television soap operor the NFL. It
would be great for us, it would be good for business.
So I do not see him going back Beckham to
Cleveland next. The Pelicans announced Wednesday that Zion Williamson has
(31:20):
been cleared to return to Encourt activities and that he
will be reevaluated in two weeks. I've been two weeks
from now, there will only be like a few days
left in the regular season. Do you think the Pelicans
will still be within reach of a playing spot by then?
So I've determined that Zion Williamson back when I was dating,
he's like the really good looking girl at the bar
that flirts with you and then goes home and he's
(31:41):
been malingering in Nors. I am not buying that he's
going to play. I don't believe it. He's got a
lot of dog in him in the NBA, and no
matter how many people defend him, the guy's been a
liability in New Orleans. I don't see that changing. How
did we do? He passed us to the ISA? Why what? Everything?
With Jay Scope? I won the game? Firk Dog, I want,
(32:03):
I want fir what. Fox Sports Radio has the best
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Foxsports Radio dot com and within the iHeartRadio app.
Search f SR to listen live Knock Knock, Who's there?
Blame Week, Blame Week two. It's Big Band's lame joke
(32:25):
of the week. The Comedy Club is open for businesses
our actual jokes sent in by actual listeners like yourself.
These are people that are very funny, that have normal
lives and jobs, and they just happened to moonlight as
joke writers. You can join the underappreciated, unpaid joke writing
staff if you want to send a joke in care
(32:47):
of the Ben Maller Show at gmail dot com. Ben
Maller Show at gmail dot com. Is Weedman there, our
friend in Miami. Hello Weedman, Old Bang, I love you,
Shang Hello Lisa, Hi, Lisa? Oh all right, look at that?
All right here? We go, very exciting, here we go.
(33:08):
What is Lizzo's favorite party pastry? I don't know what
is Lizzo's favorite party pastry. She's a big fan of
the cocaine bear claw. She loves that in the cues.
What did a lot of people say about Lizzo when
she first showed up on the music scene. Oh, I
(33:28):
don't know. What did they say? They said, isn't she precious?
Suffer Todds, the comedian, professional joke writer and uh Anny
Award winner. What is the difference between Tom Brady and Lizzo? Um? Well,
I would think there are a lot of differences, but
(33:49):
I don't know what are the difference? No? Not, Actually,
when Lizzo gets roasted, nothing is left on the table, Eddie.
That's Gordons big bands, lame jokes a week. Did you
hear that the Panthers might draft Lizzo number one overall
as a running back. I did not hear that. Yeah,
they think she'll be able to crush for the competition, Eddie.
(34:10):
So that's Alex the cynical. Why doesn't Lizzo wear a
red dress anymore? I don't know why. Well, she kept
getting annoyed because the kids would expect her to run
through a wall and yell oh yeah, and she didn't
like that. That is Jeoffardy outdating himself with that joke.
(34:32):
Have you heard why Lizzo fans in Florida are upset?
God know what's their problem? Yeah? When scientists said a
five thousand mile wide blob was headed towards them, they
assumed it was Lizzo. You see that blob of seaweed
going towards Florida, that's a furg Dog sent that one
in What was Lizzo's favorite doll when she was a kid.
(34:55):
I don't know what was your favorite doll? Well, it
was It was not a Barbie doll that it was.
It was Strawberry Shortcake. Brandon from Boston said that one.
Did you hear that Lizzo got a new belt for
her birthday? I didn't hear that. Now, Yeah, she was
able to use as a watch band. So it's a
it's a good story that you guy Pocket Boston sent
(35:18):
that one. Which Benny award did Lizzo get snubbed for?
I don't know what what award did she get snubbed?
The award for being the biggest fan Eddie? Yeah, the
biggest she should have I think she should have won
that award. That's a that's a bad job. That joke
came from Steven sent that joke in, I believe. All right,
(35:40):
Next up, how what do we have here? What is
Lizzo's favorite scent? I don't know what's her favorite scent?
She loves Bartolo cologne, Joe Daddy in rowan Oake, Virginia.
You know that Lizzo takes a lot of pictures with
fans Eddie, Oh yeah, sure of course. For some reason though,
(36:02):
she's always the background. Yeah, you got any jokes over there?
Coop negative? No coop, but jokes. Let's get to the
weed Man roast. How did we man? How did weed
Man meet Lizzo? How did he meet her? Yeah? I
don't know. Well, they were both at KFC licking other
people's fingers? Is what? What is more effective than tear
(36:31):
gas to disperse an unruly crowd of young people on
spring break in Miami? A weed Man appearance? No, no, no,
Having weed Man as a greeter at the airport, That's
that's what really does. Now you go to Hawaii, you
get that lay when you go to Hawaii, when you
meet weed Man, You're like, all right, I'll get back
to get out of here. If you can't find weed Man,
(36:52):
where is she? Your look, I don't know where under
a crack rock, Eddie. You just look under surfer Todd
the comedian. Did you hear the weed man bought a suit?
Bought a suit? Yeah, I bought a suit, big news.
Congratulations weed Man. It's a black heavy duty trash bag
with a red sox staple to the top, So congratulation
(37:14):
between Then that's Alex. The cynical is just mean. How
does weed man make smoked rats? I don't know how
to make that cook He cooks them unused ash trays.
Is that true weed Been Yes? Ye, Alex Alex and
(37:36):
the synical. I feel like he's getting annoyed it. Why
did weed man cross the road? Why to relocate his house? Eddie?
He was moving. So what do weed man Hippie? That
was Alex and Cynical again. What do weed Man, Hippie
and Austin Ekeler have in common? Oh? I don't know
(37:57):
where they have in common. Well, they both have the
same chance of getting a big payday from the chargers.
So there's big Man's jokes of the week. Why doesn't
weed Man have to pay his mice? I don't know why.
Why doesn't they have to pay his mice? Well after
(38:18):
after they stole his teeth, they are considered indentured servants.
So Kipp in Maine people are vicious, Eddie, they're vicious.
Did you hear that? We'll move on from weed Man.
Did you hear the one one legged Bama Man got
a new job? No? What's his job? He now works
at ihop. That's from the al. Uh, there you go.
(38:40):
What do you call the racist fish, Eddie? Racist fish?
I don't know. Angry gill is what you call it.
That's Alex the Synegal. There's a new sleep clinic that's
really helping people with insomnia, Eddie might mindsomnia? Yeah, yeah,
it's It's called Virgo and service is what it's. What's
(39:01):
scary than Jed who fled with chainsaws? Eddie? Oh but nothing,
I would think. No, Tony from the Bay, that's from Joe,
Daddy and Root. Thank you weak man. There he goes
Ben wrote that joke. Tony. No, I didn't know. That's
Joe and Roanoke, Virginia. I don't know who that is.
I've never met him. Be sure to catch live editions
of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
(39:24):
eleven pm Pacific. You want to say out to Marcel?
Yeah yeah, let's say all right, let's go fire over there.
All right, let's go to Marcel and Brooklyn for a
quick get together. These two blood rivals here, Marcel and
whoopee Pie Blair. Hello, Marcel, marself? How are you doing
that on Twitter? How? I don't even have a Twitter, marself?
(39:49):
But how are you doing? I heard Marcel? I need
to ask you a question, buddy, how are you doing?
Because I heard there was a fire in her not
because the words were you were and it was a
part man fire, and I was hearing it was being
good a lot of people how to leave their apartments
and stuff above a barber shop? And how are you doing? Though? What?
(40:10):
Stop dropping? Whoa you? Hacker? Marcel? He's being nice, Marcell,
will be Pie Blair's trying to be a friend of yours.
H Ben, No, he'st the total unfriend enemy and he's
just like a Blair hacker. And Blair putin, get a hacker?
(40:33):
What are you? What are you? Chop liver, Oh worry, chomp,
liver you are, Yeah, well, who do you think you are?
Budd who do you think you are? You? Selfish hacker?
You come out? Which will take it? Facebook face? Would
you come to mantil I could take you down and
(40:54):
wrestle you down on the turf and put to your
face and turf and then you'd be done. You you
know what, you know what? Guess what? Chicken? But you
look like a chicken butt? Okay, thank you, thank you both.
All right, that's it, thank you. All right. On that note,
(41:17):
I'm done getting one of those guys. Thank you. Let's
get over the Cool the Coop Scoop on Entertainment, all
right for Holly ho chicken. But Blair oh Man, hopefully
my bosses are fast asleep back now. I won't be
back on Monday. Let's go to coop for the Coop
Scoop on entertainment. Holy crap, alright, ben Um, that's why
(41:43):
the attend that didn't happen? Right? Cool? Are those are two?
Those are two multi time caller of the years. That's
the best that we have to offer. And they say
talk radio's gone down? All right? Heading over to the theaters,
(42:03):
we've got John Wick Chapter four coming out this weekend.
My wife just saw that tonight. I bet there. You didn't.
You didn't go see it with her? No, I have
a job, I have to work. I couldn't. It's like
a really long movie. She said it like, oh is it? Yeah?
Like really really really long. Well, I have heard that
this is getting the best reviews of the entire john Yes,
(42:28):
it has a ninety five percent Rotten Tomato score. My golly, yes,
I look at that. Have you seen any of the
John Wick films, ben Noe? I saw the first two,
I did not see the third one. I've seen them all.
They're great. I love them. And forty nine minutes. Whoa,
that's a lot of shooting. It's like an American week
(42:48):
baseball game. Come on, Wow, that's pretty long for a
John Wick. But I'll check it out. I'll let you
guys know how it is. That is about an hour
and twenty minutes too long, do you know? Don't you
want to get your money's worth? No, Because movies and
shows I was told by so many years ago, I
have to be ninety minutes. That's the sweet spot. Ninety minutes.
(43:10):
When you see a show in the Vegas or Broadway,
it's ninety minutes. It's good. I wanted to last forever.
That's true. I agree with you. All right, I'm moving
moving over to television. There's not much going on today,
but on Sunday night, we've got the return of a
couple of good shows. First of all, we have the
fourth and final season of HBO's Succession at nine pm.
(43:35):
This is probably one of the best shows on television,
so I mean, if you haven't seen it, try and
try and catch up before Sunday. But just like all
the rest of the seasons, this one's getting great rave reviews.
Definitely recommend checking that out on HBO. And then also
coming back, this is the second season of Yellow Jackets
(43:56):
on Showtime. That is also at nine pm. That one
if if you don't recall, if you haven't seen it,
it's kind of like a Lord of the Flies type
situation a high school. I can't remember if they were
softball or soccer. I think they were a soccer team,
but they're playing crashes and they're all like, then weird
stuff starts happening. I think some of them eat each other.
(44:18):
That's yeah, it's nice. Yeah, But this season sees Elijah
Wood and Lauren Ambrose joined the cast, so it should
be should be good stuff getting good reviews. And then, finally,
last but not least, we have a new Apple TV
Plus show premiering on Wednesday. This one's called The Big
(44:38):
Door Prize. It's a comedy where basically it takes place
in a southern town where a mysterious photo booth sized
machine appears in a grocery store and for just a
few dollars, the machine promises to reveal each customer's true destiny,
which prompts the local townspeople to make drastic changes to
their lives. That one stars Chris O'Dowd. And that is Wednesday,
(45:00):
Apple TV Plus. And that is Coop Scoop on Entertainment.
Host
Ben Maller
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