Best of The Ben Maller Show 10/20/2017

Big Ben reacts to the Dodgers advancing to the World Series, the Raiders amazing come from behind win, Lame Jokes of the Week, Coop's Scoop on Entertainment, and Benny's Balderdash!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the best of the Ben Maller Show on
Fox Sports Radio. The Chicago clubs played a best of
seven series and had as many hits with runners in
scoring position as you did zero zipbo zilch. That is

(00:21):
a domination situation. And the Dodgers listening to our show.
We gave some commentary yesterday said to make sure Curtis
Grandison and Chase Utley are locked to the bench, throw
away the key. Don't Only a magician, only a street
magician can get them off of the lockdown. And the
Dodgers listened. Dave Roberts listened to us, and Keik Hernandez

(00:46):
one of the players that filled in doing up. I
think a decent job. I mean a fair job for
keik Hernandez there with not one, not two, three home
runs including the grands alami or is our friend Looney
likes to say the four run home run. And this
is a steamroll situation. So the Dodgers win eleven to one,

(01:10):
and the game was over by the third inning. He
was over by the thirty I know that many of
the doom and Gloomers were hoping the Dodgers would below
as seven nothing lead did not happen. But a five
run third inning, never looking back. This was a victory
lap for the rest of the game, is what it was.
They might as well have stopped playing baseball and just

(01:31):
run around the field and just run sprints around the field,
say hey, we won the National League, penny, We're going
to the World Series. And this defies the myth that
the boat race is a bad thing I've heard a
lot over the years. I would nobody likes a boat race.
When the team jumps out ahead and that's it, the
game's over, I disagree. I disagree. In fact that I

(01:53):
was in many a text conversation with some of my
closest personal friends that I've worked with, some currently in
some of the past, and radio, and we were going
back and forth and we all agreed, those of us
that had a mild interest in this outcome, that we
liked the vote race. We like the vote race. It's good, right,
low stress, pretty enjoyable, good for your health all the

(02:15):
way around. And there's just no negative. I mean, I'm
trying to find because a negative story is the better story.
The better story is in the losing locker room. But
screw that. I don't care about losing locker room. I
like the winning locker room this time, so we'll make
the exception of the rule. But justin Turner continuing to
monster mash, he and just a brilliant performance a garden

(02:38):
gnome of baseball, Chris Taylor. So Turner and Taylor combining
to win the Most Valuable Player award of the National
Championships Series in Clayton Kershaw the benefactor in all this
on the mound. So, for the first time since nineteen
eighty eight, the Dodgers have won the National League pennant.
I'll be repeating that every ten minute. You know, some

(03:00):
stations give you traffic on the ones, I'll be giving
you Dodgers win the pennant on the ones. That's what
we'll be doing there every ten minutes or so. As
they've gone on. And Dave Roberts, who listeners, We're gonna
fire Roberts when they were losing all those games at
the end of the year, if they had not beaten
the Giants, remember that series in San Francisco. In fact,
we got preempted on our overnight show by a rain

(03:22):
delayed Giant Dodger game just down the street from Pier
thirty nine there when they kept going and going and
going and go anyway, they've cleaned up the mess. Here's
Dave Roberts, who's in a celebratory state of mind. It's
a special group from the from the top to the bottom.
And for the city of Los Angeles, it's been a
long time and it took a lot of people to

(03:44):
get to where we are right now, and we're gonna
celebrate this moment. Took everyone. Assume they'll celebrate right now,
but we want to stand. We have four more wins
a go. But they're having a good time. Da it's great. Hey,
mileage s They handled that well. They didn't want to
get too excited in the moment. I think they took
that pretty well. Right now, you want to celebrate right now?

(04:05):
You want to wait, where's that guy? Where's that guy
that calls him? That guy always calls him? Oh, they shouldn't.
They're celebrated too much. They're gonna lose the World Series.
There was too much chap pay in that locker room.
I counted seventeen players with goggles, and if you have
over fifteen players with goggles, you're not gonna win the
World Series. According to the Elias Sports Bureau. I'm waiting
for that guy because you know that guy's gonna call

(04:26):
him the party pooper, that kill Joy, the buzz kill
that guy called him. Well, where do we go next?
How about Justin Turner who has defined success in the
playoffs and not just have been to the playoffs a
lot since nineteen eighty eight. They are a regular team
in the postseason. And typically what goes along with that

(04:48):
part of the package is player after player can't hit
in the playoffs. But Justin Turners one of those guys
that can't hit in the playoffs, and he points out
that if you looking at a map, you ever done that?
Who uses maps any when I use GPS in my phone?
All right, but if you'll change it up, we got
to change the analogy. How As if you type in

(05:09):
a destination on I use the WATE traffic app. If
you type in a destination the WATE traffic app, and
then you look at the map and it gives you
the possible roots or routes depending on how you want
to get to that destination. You don't, you don't stop
the GPS before you get to the end of the
GPS address that you put in, right, is that correct,
Am I accurate? Mister Turner? Yeah? You know when when

(05:31):
Kenny and I signed back, they did a press conference
at the stadium and both of us talked about unfinished
business and wanted to bring a championship back to LA
and bring a World Series back to LA and uh,
you know, we accomplished that, but like you said, there's
a lot of work in front of us. We're still
not done yet. We're gonna enjoy this tonight and then
start preparing for the next round. He said it, just
like Scott fun said Nick at the end of that,

(05:53):
Did he not there's a former Dodger that couldn't get
to the worst? No? No, no, seriously, am I hearing things?
I mean, let's can we compare and contrast this. I
know we're doing this on the fly, we're add living this,
we're doing live organic radio. But that sounded to me
the end of that sound bite by the Garden gnome,
justin Turner, it sounded like he was chandling former Dodgers

(06:15):
Scott pods set Nick, who is the godfather of the
sports cliche. And for the purposes of our radio show,
we compare all athletes that have the disease of the
sports cliche. We compare them with Scott pods setting. So
let's can we give give me a little pod setting here,
because I'm telling you it sounded just like Turner to me.
Here we go, let's go, here we go. But the

(06:38):
NF see what we're saying. We know our work is
cut out for us. We got a lot of work
to do. Hopefully we can all come together realize what
we have here and try to get something done. Here's Turner.
Let's hear a Turner here. Let's see you know, we
accomplish that. But like you said, there's a lot of
work in front of us. We're still not done yet.
We're gonna enjoy this tonight and then start preparing for

(06:58):
the next round. In a put Seddick, he channeled put
Seddick way to go, justin Turner way to do it.
That is the way to do it right there? All right,
But wait, there's more. You think I'm done. No, No,
I'm I'm not done. No new new no. And I
think I'm handling this very well. I don't think I'm

(07:19):
going over the top. I think I'm I'm giving you
the news of the day. Is what I'm doing here.
That's my I come in here. We talk about the
stories of the day. There's no biggie story than the
Dodgers going to the World Series. Right, here's Chris Taylor,
the co n LCS MVP, who was garbage with the
Seattle marriage. You're talking about more on this later, but

(07:41):
here's Chris Taylor, who apparently is mildly pleased that he's
part of a team going to the World Series. That's unbelievable.
You know, I'm just excited to be a part of
this team. What a group we have, you know, all
we've been through all year. It's uh, just overcome with excitement.
It couldn't be happier, all right, couldn't be happy to

(08:01):
finish that question and go and do something else, right,
this is annoying. Well, the benefactor of all those runs,
eleven runs, well not all eleven because he wasn't there
for the whole game. Was was Clayton Kershaw who was
the benefactor and got the win. Fitched enough long enough,
not too long, long enough. And so the Dodgers when
the pennant get ready for the Yankees or the Astros

(08:23):
in the World Series. It'll start Tuesday night at Dodger stadium,
So it'll begin Tuesday night. We look forward to to
that with mild anticipation, in mild excitement of course. Absolutely
all right, So the Ben Mallishaw here, that's here from
Kershaw by the before we press on here and do
some other things. Here's Clayton Kershaw who points out that
gett into the World Series again, this is theme here.

(08:46):
There's there's some joy in the room. This is the
best feeling outside of getting married and having kids you
can have. This is what we work so hard for
us is you know, you gotta celebrate as hardness to
play this game and let's go to the World Series.
That's the second best thing you can do in this
game other and winning it. So yeah, we're gonna enjoy it.
So like he lost his voice, he was screaming so much. There,

(09:08):
pure bliss would be the I believe that would be
the I found it very appealing. I was not astonished
the Dodgers won. I know this is a blow to
the trolls. Did you hear a lot of the media,
the national mainstream media. We're not mainstream because we're on nights,
but the mainstream media was trying to really sell hard

(09:30):
that the Chicago Cubs had a real chance, a reasonable
chance to come back. Any sensible person, any rational thought,
would tell you, of course not. There's there's no way
the Cubs aren't going to come back in this series.
But that did not stop a lot of people who
work in the media trying to sell the fact that

(09:51):
the Cubs were going to win four games in a row.
And even though they were being man handled by the Dodgers,
and we used the word dignified, that was a dignified loss.
The other day the Dodgers had they lost by a run,
They played a pretty good game. They just came up
and run short and then the immediate It's not like
you were a bunch of darrelics, like the way the
Ashets played against the Yankees in New York. The last

(10:12):
couple of games just foul. The Dodgers didn't play like that.
So but I tried anybody they had offered. I was
willing to make any bet. I in fact, I even
offered the King of the Trolls, Edmund Dallas steamboat Willie Garcia.
I offered him a thousand dollars and all you had
to pay me was fifty bucks. Because he was really

(10:33):
selling the Chicago Cubs and how they could come back
and they were gonna win this series. And I did
not say he's a hater, and he's known as a hater.
That's kings. Yes, you are the king of the trolls.
How can I take your crown away? I don't know
what you're talking about. I'm fair and balanced. He that tweet?

(10:54):
You said, Dad, what's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong
with that? Yeah, I don't know. I'm proud of that
at all. We were just having a pleasant conversation. We're
having a good card. Ben just decides to jump in
into the conversation and kick Coop and Danny in the ball.
I didn't kick him. I complimented them. It was about
the Clippers, by the way, Yeah, I complimented them. I
don't know what you're talking about. I don't see I

(11:15):
don't see anything wrong with it. I'm not here to
do a Clipper. This is the Clippers are great. We
don't everyone knows that. We don't need to talk about that.
You know, the Lakers, you know they'll be all right.
It's hard to when you won like the Lakers have
won when they you know, Summer League and they won
the Summer League can't be expected to win every game.
They were the Summer League champions in Ben Magic was

(11:36):
very busy as part owner of the Dodgers tonight. Yes,
he loves the Dodgers so much. He didn't go to
the Dodgers game when they got to the World Series.
He watched the Lakers lose. They were on My thirty.
That's that's dedication by Magic and he has turned that
team around them. Again, that's not That's not what this
is about. Don't you yet again you're trying to sidetrack me.
It's Dodger propaganda. Is Dodger prop again? Holding me? He's

(12:00):
one of the high points of my life. You called
want me to talk about the Laker. You called me
King of the Troll. I pointed out we were we
had we had a group text going on. We were
talking about something that was had nothing to do with
pointy sports. And suddenly Ben sends out the following tweek
right in the middle. This is in no context. He
said that I was wrong. You guys were spot on

(12:22):
with your faith in the Lakers. What a team. I
with that, but were impressive. The King of the Troll
was exciting exhilarating, electrifying basketball. I was very impressed. In fact,
it was intoxicating. Every time the Lakers turned the ball over.
I was drinking and I'm completely hammered right now because
of that. Completely hamm But no, this is like one

(12:44):
of the top five nights I've had following sports. I
was gonna say, Danny g almost had the triple crown thirty,
he had Raiders and hold on, say day, I'm not gonna.
I didn't want to be greedy. So two out of

(13:05):
three is a good night. That was Oh I I
I shed tears, I I did. I That Raider game
was insanity. I mean you went to lose. It was
a roller coaster, complete euphoria during the Dodgers and then
a complete nervous breakdown during the end of the Raiders game. Yeah,

(13:26):
that is what a night. That's a bad beat. I
had Kansas City minus three and they were up by
six when time ran out, they were on the clock.
You also had a non award winning monologue yesterday where
you killed Derek Carr and you know what, you know what,
it worked. That was tough law. But that was tough law.

(13:49):
Listen that he needed that he needed that he played more.
You want me to give you the numbers again, he
sucked Derek Carr. No, but you know what, but you
count have him one field last. He had his death,
he had happy feet. You know what he had happened.
You didn't even have him in this game back when

(14:11):
he injured his back, you had him. He should have
been afterway pay. They was underwhelming. Underwhelming. You can't forget
the four game losing streak. And he was a big
part of a lot of that. All right, So now
you can try to get me talking about the rights.
I'm here to talk about the Dodger. Didn't you know
the Dodgers won the National League pennant. The Dodgers have

(14:33):
won the pennant. And I had to tweet out because
I was convinced that this was like maybe a drill.
This wasn't real. Not a drill. This is real. Last night,
this is a legitimate situation. People that I see food everywhere?
What's this food all over the place? Or what's what's
that all about? By the way, I see people bringing
in food here was Yeah, so Domino's pizza walks in?

(14:56):
Yeah it was. One of our co workers led him
back here to the studio and he says, somebody sent
us celebratory pizza. We got celebratory pizza, Eddie. Thank you?
Why because the Dodgers won the pennant. Wow. I don't
know who sent that, but thank you, I Eddie. We're
all gonna be seven hundred pounds. How many hours on

(15:18):
the treadmill? Twenty five hours and I'll be all weekend, Eddie.
I'll be on the treadmill. That's what I'm doing. It
like a giant hamster. Will have nothing left. I am
doomed to be fat again because of this. There's more
food coming later. So Coop was like, what do I do? Well?
You accept them food? What do you do? You know
what I mean about? Because we want to eat this

(15:38):
and the food coming retort. I got a word for you, appetizer.
All right, this is a and the pizza is the
perfect food you can eat later. You can't eat a
sandwich later. It's very tough to eat the same you
put the bread in refrigerator, it doesn't taste the same,
taste rubbery. But you can eat pizza like three days
from now. We could have that pizza right for Coop,

(16:00):
like three weeks from now, three hours from now, all right, listen,
this is a big night, and I'll be very I
I'll be very on the up. And I'm not gonna
I'm not gonna rub it in anywhere, Eddie. I'm not
gonna be nice to all of us the entire show.
I'm in a very good mood. Of course, I've been
nothing but nice here. I am personified class indignity. That's
what I do, all right. Be sure to catch live

(16:21):
editions of The Ben Maller Show weeknights at two am
Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the
iHeart Radio app. Only ten thousand, five hundred and ninety
nine days ago that the Dodgers had last won a
nationally pennant, but they did it in style in sweet
home Chicago at Wrigley Field, where the once proud Chicago

(16:42):
Cup franchise is back to being the lovable losers, as
Keith Gay her name Daz, powering up three home runs
as the Dodgers made some lineup changes after that very
meek performance, that feeble performance by Curtis Granderson and Chase
Utley her name is one of the new players in
the lineup. He had seven runs better and I believe

(17:03):
the Cubs scored what eight runs the entire series, and
Keika Hernandez had seven runs better in in one game.
It was a cakewalk. Eat was a walk in the park.
What other analogy can I use? Eleven to one the
Dodgers had some barbecued cub at Wrigley Field as the
Dodgers jumped out early and never looked back. He's the

(17:26):
first player to hit three home runs in a postseason
game since two weeks ago Jose al two. So it
happens every couple of weeks. It happens every every a
couple of weeks. But this is a tremendous accomplishment for
Keik Hernandez and for the Dodgers to get back to
the World Series. They have won the nationally pennant. Now,
Clayton Kershaw was the benefactor of all this. He was

(17:49):
the winning pitcher. He was given a bunch of runs
early to work with and went on and on and
on and on, and he got the win. So some
people are trying to paint the picture now because of
this win that erases everything else that Clayton Kershaw, all
the bad stuff that Clayton Kershaw has done. This is redemption.

(18:13):
This is redemption that Kershaw he gets the glory. Now,
I'm not at that point. I'm not a listen. Kershaw's
had been the greatest regular season picture number one for
many many years. He's dominated regular season play. This does
not does not erase even if the Doctors go on
and win the World Series. Year does not erase what

(18:34):
has happened. But this can be and should be looked
at as the second chapter of Clayton Kershaw's career. Like
you read a book. Most still read books. Yeah, you
get through the first chapter, it's not very good, and
you're like, well, maybe I should put this book down.
I don't like what I'm reading in this book. It's
kind of a weak book. And then there's that plot

(18:54):
twist in chapter number two and you're like, I kind
of like this. I enjoy this book all of a sudden.
So from my perspective, Clayton Kershaw ought to look at
this as a new beginning in awakening in the postseason
this year, and he has made three starts now the
Dodgers have won all three of his starts. To me,

(19:16):
that's the most important statistic the games you start, the
record of your team in the game that you start
in the plus the result does your team win those
particular games that you start. And if Kershaw from this
point forward, he's twenty nine years old, so you figure
he's got three more years left in his prime. And

(19:36):
then it's the slow decline for Clayton Kershaw. But over
the next three years, if Kershaw can just continue to
be a dominant pitcher or close to dominant in the playoffs,
that's chapter number two. You don't forget about the stink
bombs against the cheating Cardinals and the other random appearances
when he was terrible, But it's another opportunity for him

(19:59):
to kind of write the ne chapter of his career.
And I've always pulled for Kershaw, not because he's a
Dodger and all that. I've always pulled for Kershaw because
his late father was a voiceover artist in the Dallas
area did radio jingles. His dad worked for a jingle
company in Dallas, Texas. So back in the old days,
in the heyday I called the heyday radio, there used

(20:21):
to be these things called jingle There's one right there,
and you have these these jingle companies that would produce
these these musical bits, and it's great. I used to
have a jingle with my name in it. I still
have it, but it's on a cart machine, which is
old technology. It's like three generations ago of radio. So
I am I'm right there with Clayton kersha I'm right there.
Good for Clayton Kershaw, good job, good job there, all right,

(20:44):
So Ben Mallas show on Fox. Now. The question I've
gotten a lot of in the fallout and the post
mortem from the National League Championship Series is about Vin's
Scully and what are the Dodgers gonna do. Several people
have said, well, as Vince Scully to be at the
National League Championship Series, is Vin Scully going to end
up calling a game on Fox? Is Joe Buck going

(21:07):
to allow him to call at least a couple of
innings of a game? Here's my position on this. Vince
Scully will not be broadcasting any games in the World Series,
and that's okay. The reason it's okay is because he
doesn't want to. Vins has moved on. We just talked
about the books with Clayton Kershawn, how chapter one wasn't

(21:28):
a very good chapter for his playoff career and chapter
two could be better. Vin Scully has moved on. He
is no longer the sportscaster. He's not calling games anymore.
He's given up. He's and I think rightfully so at
age eighty nine. Vin's gonna be ninety years old on
November twenty nine, So we're less than two months away.

(21:50):
We're just over a month away from Vince Scully turning ninety's.
I wouldn't be shocked if we find out that that
Vin wasn't even watching the game last and he was
doing something else, that he had some other stuff going on.
That's fine, but he will be there. The Dodgers will
make sure that he shows up and he'll throw out.
I would I would think he'll throw out the first
pitch and it might say something. But he's not gonna

(22:11):
get in the broadcast booth. It's just not gonna happen.
I'm not not buying that that that's gonna go down.
So I keep hearing that question over and over again,
that this is how it's gonna go down. He's gonna
he's gonna get it done. Blah blah blah blah blah.
Don't buy it. I do not believe all right, some
of the other stuff the post mortem. If you will

(22:33):
on the Dodgers getting to the World Series. They have
co MVPs The Garden of Former met the man that
was let go by the Mets because I think I
believe he was designated for assignment. I believe that's out
way down. Justin Turner ends up winning co MVP in
the National League Championship Series with Chris Taylor as the

(22:54):
Dodgers celebrating there getting it done in impressive, impressive fashion.
We'll take your phone calls. We didn't do anything last
art because we had Benny versus the Pennies. You would
like to be part, I'll give out the number right now.
It's eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox. We close
down the lines, will reopen the phone line, so it's
plenty of opportunity for you to get in here. Eight
seven seven nine nine six six three six nine. You

(23:18):
can be part of the program. We're also available on
Twitter at Ben Maller. That's at Ben Maller, and you
can be part of the show. The Dodgers first team
in their history, I believe, I guess it's not the first.
It's been a long time since the Dodgers have been
to the World Series, and when they've been to the
World Series. Generally they have not they have not had

(23:40):
home field advantage very often, but they have home field
advantage in this World Series. And a friend of mine
we're bringing Edmund Dallas steamboat. Willie Garcia, a friend of
mine advise me a savvy veteran move, but it involves risk,
all right, A lot of people I'm getting texts from
people haven't talked to in a long time, trying to

(24:02):
get World Series tickets, Like because I'm like Barry from
Barrios tickets, I have all the tickets, and so people
have been texting me all throughout the night. Hey, you
know a guy I gotta get tickets? You know someone?
The answers always know. If you ask me that question,
the answers almost always know. But a friend of mine
told me that the savvy move here where you can

(24:22):
get some value is too. For example, those of us
listening to those of you listening in LA. We have
a lot of listeners in Los Angeles because we're on
the Dodger flagship station, and people are excited and more
people tune into the radio, and teams win than when
they lose, and so there's more people listening. The friend
advise me, you don't buy tickets to game one. Everyone
wants to go to Game one. You don't even buy

(24:43):
tickets to the game two because those are also expensive.
And he also pointed out if you go through the
history of the World Series, there's only one real moment
in Game one that is a defining moment in the
World Series. You know at that it is Eddie right,
Game one. That's right, that's it. But can you name
another Game one of the World Series which you off

(25:05):
the top of your head without going to Baseball Reference,
you can say, oh, I remember that, I cannot exactly.
That's the point. So the savvy move here we can
get a little value, save a little money, is the
hope that the series goes to game six, because you're
gonna get if you get to a game six or
a game seven. Now, game seven's pushing your luck because
it doesn't usually go to game seven. But game six

(25:27):
seems like a reasonable estimate, So you gamble it it'll
go six games. You'll get more value, and you are
more likely to see a possibly end of the World
Series team clinching the World Series in game six. And
you're also more likely to see a ridiculous moment. I
would say there's been more great moments in Game six
of the World Series than Game seven. Memorable performances of

(25:51):
Remember the Cardinal Ranger World Series, Nelson Crews unable to
catch the ball, allowing the cheating Cardinals to win, and
they went to a Game seven and then won Game seven,
And the Bill Buckner play was in Game six. So
the eighty six World Series when Bill Buckner let the
ball go through his legs with the Red Sox and
the Mets one and they still have to play game seven.
They give you a bunch of other examples of that.

(26:11):
So that's the that's the advice. That is the advice. Well,
now you're going to be there. Because you're a member
of the media, you don't have to worry about it.
But the member of the commission you're talking to, possibly
Danny g Radio, who is throw it out. How he's
going to get out there to one game just throwing
it out? Either that or if he can fit into
my computer bag, I will, I will carry him in.

(26:32):
How big is your computer bag? Now they do inspect though, Yeah,
he goes on a diet. I think he's okay. I
think you've fit in there. Yeah, now I did hear
from my connection yesterday, and if it does go to
game six, he could possibly possibly get me in for
game six. Oh so you got a guy, Yeah, you
game it's got to go six or seven. So I'm okay.

(26:55):
So we'll never root against my own team, but I'm
kind of hoping it gets stretched out to at least game. See,
I was in I was in a no lose situation
myself with that Dodger Cup Game five because if the
Dodgers won, which they did, I get to do victory
Lap radio, which I love, and then if they lost
until if they by the way, the Dodgers have won
the pennant, Eddie that this we've confirmed. Now the Los

(27:17):
Angeles Dodgers have won the National League pennant. But if
the Dodgers have lost that game, then I would have
been at the game on Saturday at Dodgers Stadium. So
now there's nothing going on. That's That's like when the
Kings were in the Stanley Cup Final. You were telling
me that I wanted to root against the King's winning
on the road, yes, so you could see it in person,
and I'm like, I can't do that. I can't root
against them but that was mainly for the NHL buffet.

(27:39):
That's true that they did. It had a happy end
with cakes and cookies and every kind of food you
want stacked to the ceiling to the heavens. It's glorious.
It's all the World Series. Not like that. I've been
to the World Series. But unless they've changed it not
Yes cool now, I know this was initially a joke
with with Danny g but I mean this is gitimate question. Yeah,

(28:01):
could I fit in your companion? You have a better chance,
But you're gonna have to get in line behind Felix, uh,
Felix the Cat, my old producer, and several of Jake
Warner and several other people. You're gonna have to do.
But Coop, you're an Angel fan. This is bad for you.
You used to used to troll me and say, well,
the Angels have been in the World Series since the

(28:22):
Dodgers have you know, what are you gonna do? Now?
That's a big part of your material. No, it's not.
I must I might have said that like a couple
of times. I remember, I have a very good memory
everyone that said anything negative about the Dodgers, I remember that.
I remember that. I remember that I remember all of it,
everythingle every single thing I remember here we well, Ben,

(28:47):
I've I've been extremely fortunate to see my favorite team
win three championships in person all congratulations, Soie, are there
any cookies? I don't way about pizza and sandwiches? Are
there cookies? Also? The sandwiches have arrived? Yeah, I mean
I hope, yes, I hope you. I hope you get
to see your team win a world champions Is it

(29:09):
is as special as you think it will be. Well,
this is just the appetizer before the Clippers eventually, when
I will look forward to this and the Dodgers. Let's
take it one step at a time, right then then
the Rams will win the Super Bowl? Right? Well, go
through it way way to ruin the moment for long
stress for everyone else involved here except for me. So
I will enjoy all of these things. Not greedy at all.

(29:33):
What are you talk? My entire life haven't even won
it yet, Eddie. I'm a middle aged man, Eddie. How
much time appreciate it? I want to appreciate all of it.
I appreciated that Clipper Laker game. Also, I appreciated that
last very enjoyable. You see, I don't. I really, I
do not want to get sidetracked here because if this

(29:53):
was a normal night, and this is not a normal night,
this is far from a normal night. But if this
was a no normal night, we had some good Patrick Beverley,
I saw that LaVar ball conversation there, Eddie. They taking
that rook to school, Lavars handling this party. Welcome to
the NBA, kid. Did you see Lavars quote there? I

(30:14):
pay no attention to that clown, Ben, Ben. This just
y Dodgers won the Dodgers and won. Depend They're going
to the crazy Eddie. They're going to They're going all
the way, Eddie, They're going all the way. And you

(30:35):
know who that The Washington Nationals did not win the pennant?
Did not he real quick? Si? Arizona Diamondbacks did not
win the pennant? Obviously. The last time Dodgers won the
World Series was the Kirk Gibson home r. Yes, he's
I don't know how well he's doing physically. Will he
be able to throw on a first pitch maybe at
a World Series game? I mean, I'm not his doctor,
but I believe you was doing well enough to do
some broadcasting stuff off and on this year, so I

(30:57):
didn't know that. Yeah, I think he'll. I know they'll
ask him to show up. Whether he shows up or not,
I don't know. Did he do go to any of
the Diamondback games? Was he? I think? Isn't he living
in the Phoenix area? I think he least I heard
he was living in the Phoenix area, So I don't
know if he went to any of the Diamondback games
there in the playoffs. Be sure to catch live editions

(31:18):
of The Ben Mallers Show weeknights at two am Eastern
eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeart
Radio app. Let's just get to the jokes. Here we go.
Let's do it here, Knock knock, who's there? Blame week,
Blame Week two. It's Big Bend's lame joke of the week.
All right, Big Ben's Lame Jokes up the week. All

(31:38):
the best sent in by listeners like yourself. We thank
you for submitting the jokes. And if we use your
joke on the air, we liked it. If not, we
didn't like it, all right, and you'll send it in.
Maybe we didn't have time for it. You know how
this goes. Let's get to it. Right now, the way
it works, we have our leadoff hitters, Serious Sean, who
will begin the festivities. Serious Sean, welcome and what do

(32:01):
you guy? All right, first off, I'd like to say,
welcome back from vacation. I'm glad you had a lot
of fun over there. Thank you. I was not vacation.
Vacation is something that I chose to do. I had
no choice. My brother got married. Trust me, I if
I had my choice, I would not have spent four
days in Grass Valley, California. But I did so. But
thank you. What's on you? What you got? You got

(32:22):
the joke, buddy? All right? Yep? Here, okay, okay, what
is the difference between Scott Kazmir and a professional bowler?
Scott Kazmir? Wait? Wait, Hollis you're doing a Scott Kazmir joke? Yep?
You know he's not playing anymore still, you know he

(32:46):
all right, go ahead, Okay, a professional bowler knows how
to throw a strike. That would have been a wonderful
joke in like twenty ten. That would have been a
really good joke. All right, thank you, all right, take

(33:07):
care of everybody by there, he goes, Serious Sean, Now,
the way this works. Good joke. Book he got that
from was just you know, written like in the early
two thousands, bought of the ninety nine cent store, and
that's you know, you go to That's all right. I mean, listen,
if you're a Tampa Bay Devil Rays fan from twenty
or seven, you're like, I kind of like that joke.
I like that's a funny joke. All right, let's get
to it. Big Ben's lame jokes the week. I'll read

(33:27):
the joke, I'll bounce it off Eddie, he'll bounce it
back to me, and then as the punch line assassin,
he'll ruin the joke, and then I'll give you a punchline.
At that point, you'll hear this from Danny g If
it's funny. If it's not funny, you'll hear this. And
if it could go either way, this will be played
ya l Pig and then uh and then Coop's got

(33:50):
his offensive jokes the week. Here we go. What do
you call a carpenter with a ten inch pencil? Um?
What do you call a carpenter with a ten inch pencil?
I don't know, Ben Woody. That's from just Josh, he
said the NFL world was stunned that the Dolphins upset
the Falcons last week. Eddie, Yeah, I've been come back
in the second half. Yeah, Adam Gaye had well orca

(34:13):
straited plans in that game. Now I think it was
my delivery more. I don't know about that. Why did
it take the Arizona State student a half an hour
to prepare orange juice for breakfast? Eddie? I don't know, Ben,
Why did it? Why did it take a half hour
for the Arizona State student to prepare orange juice for breakfast?

(34:34):
And the can said concentrates from John taking shots at
sun tanyu? There, that's her friend John. Why did the
West Virginia man break up with his fiance after he
found out she was a virgin? West Virginia man breaks

(34:55):
up with his fiance after she's a virgin? I don't
know why, Ben. He said that if she wasn't good
enough for her family, she wasn't good enough for him.
Some hillbilly, Mike Coop, What do you got? Has it been? No? No? No? No?
All right? Move on, all right, I don't have anything. No, okay,

(35:18):
did you hear that oj is interested in starting starring
rather in his own reality? Show oj is that right? Yeah,
he just wants to take a stab at it a
ya c L Puig from Just Josh Well. Cub manager
Joe Madden threatened to run onto the field with his

(35:38):
jockstrap this week. Yeah I heard him say that. Yeah,
what's the big deal? W NBA players have been doing
this for years? That's not nice. Gordon into Calma, how
dare you? Gordy? Gordon into Coma sent that one in U.
Let's skip over that one. What do you call a prious? Oh?

(36:01):
A priest? A priest that becomes I'm not forget that.
I forget that. I'm moving on. You're not gonna laugh
at that one anyway. All right? What's always the tallest
building on a college campus? What is always the tallest
building on a college campus? I don't know. The library
it has the most stories. That's John the Jailer and Allentown,

(36:25):
PA that sent that one. That's a bad job by you,
all right. A guy hurt his foot driving his car.
At he driving his car, hurt his foot driving his car. Okay,
it's all good though he called the toe company. Oh boy.
It's also from John the Jailer, but the United States
restaurant industry is reportedly lost one hundred thousand jobs in September.

(36:47):
That's not good news. Bartolo Colone went on a diet
our actual jokes in and that was like Matt that
sent that one, and thank you Matt. Big Ben's lame
jokes of the week. What's what's the only way to
win an argument with a woman? A verbal argument with
a who? I need to know this? What is the
only way to win a verbal argument with a woman? Ben?

(37:09):
You just have to mute her on Twitter? That's what
you get out. Kurt Kurt from Earth sent that one in.
We'll get to more of Big Ben's lame jokes, and
the weeklies are, Oh, I forgot weed, man, I forgot
about you? Are you there? We'd Ben? All right, I
love you, all right, we'll back he's probably laughing anyway,
I get to the rest of Big Ben's lame jokes.

(37:30):
We have a mildly entertaining closure. Mildly entertaining closure. We'll
get to that and we'll do it next. It's been
said the Ben Malbler shows the best kept secret in
sports radio. You can help change that. Word of mouth
advertising is the best advertising post about the show on
social media and help keep the show growing. Now live

(37:50):
from the Guico Fox Sports Radio Studios, it's the kur
Mudgeon of commentary, Ben Maller, and right back to Big
Band's lame jokes of the week. Is my laugh track? There?
Are you there? My laugh track? Are you? Oh? I
lost my laugh track? He's not there anymore. Oh man.

(38:12):
He steps away during the commercial, so he'll probably be
back shortly. And I heard I heard heard something laugh track. Yeah,
I mean that's not laughing. I just want you to laugh.
Don't say anything else, just to laugh. Okay, it wasn't fun,

(38:34):
all right, let's get to here we go. What's the
difference between someone wearing a wrist watch and the US
World Cup qualifying soccer team that failed? It's a lot
to repeat. I don't know what's the difference between those things, Ben, Nothing.
They both have a lot of free time on their hands. Yah.

(38:58):
That was weird man's fake laugh. This is now? This
one is I don't know. I don't know I should
even do this one because it involves the problem well,
a hurricane affected region. I don't know. I'll read it. Yeah,
well I don't think I can get it to you though,
But Now, you wouldn't read it anyway because the punchline,
You're not gonna coop and just walk in there and
talk into your microphone. That's a good point. But he wouldn't.

(39:21):
He would not deliver the punchline. He would not because
he does not. He's I can already tell where this
is going. Yeah, yeah, all right. Uh. A popular food
cart in Portland, Oregon was destroyed by fire this week.
A food cart. Yeah, that's unfortunately. It took well done
to a new level, Eddie. Cool, what do you got?

(39:44):
What is a pedophile's favorite holiday? A good pedophile joke?
I don't know what Halloween free delivery? Oh my lord, Coop.
Even weed man's not laughing. He was laughing at that.

(40:07):
All right. Well, in Oklahoma, inmate his file the lawsuit
over a ninety one hour erection. Okay, that's an interesting lawsuit. Yeah,
turned out he really had a stiff sentence, Eddie. Yeah,
he was doing hard time, Eddie, is what he was doing? Yes.
Two men robbed a Massachusetts liquor store this week, demanding

(40:28):
a dollar um. Okay, they had low expectations on what
they were gonna get. I guess turned out the buck
really did stop there. Did you hear that Andy Reid
told the chief's offense to eat the clock? Eddie, eat?
I did not hear that? Andy Reid said that. Yeah,

(40:48):
he found it very time consuming. They showed that video
of him as a kid again competing in that punt
pass and kick contest, that classic videos. That's great, he
was huge. All right, I got more. NFL has reinstated
coach Chris Forrester. He's being allowed to rejoin the Dolphins. Eddie,

(41:09):
Is that right? Yeah? Forrester may rem regain his job
in the NFL as long as he's always accompanied by
a nose guard. Wasn't that funny? That's Adam the lobster guy.
All right, let's get to the closer. Here we go
a big deal. Taco Bell is now testing kit kat
case idias in the United States. Eddie, Oh my goodness,

(41:32):
really it's actually fake news. Bartolo Clone's been testing that
for t hen years. Fox Sports Radio has the best
sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of our
shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the
iHeartRadio app. Hooray for Hollywood, and that means the Coop

(41:53):
scoop on entertainment. Justin Cooper not justin Timberlake, justin Cooper
with the latest from Home. Well, Ben, I'm pretty confident
in saying that there's really nothing worth seeing at the
movie theaters. Coop. What about what about Boo two? The
media Halloween? Oh yeah, I'm gonna wait in line to
see that unless I'm not. Unless I'm not. So what

(42:17):
about snow Man? That look good? No, I'm gonna break
down that. You're gonna break down best seller at Burglary
at Mariah Carrey's house. You canna break that down. No, Mariah,
this isn't nineteen ninety nine. You're not worried about the sunglasses,
only the brave of their firefighting guys up in the
mountains and stuff. I did hear that got good reviews.
But uh, anyway, onto the better platform television. I thought radio,

(42:44):
dare you turned your back on the silver screen? That
that made you coop? Like it did? It did? But
I made more money on TV. Uh, I'm preparing on premiering.
I've made money on TV. About that? Oh very good? Yeah, yeah,
I've made more money than radio too. Real quick. I

(43:06):
do want to say I mentioned it briefly last week,
but the new Netflix show Mine Hunter I'm about halfway
through the premiere season and it is pretty awesome. So
again I suggest checking that out. I give, I give
two thumbs up. But premiering today, uh, nineteen twenty two.
It's a Netflix original movie and it's an adaptation of

(43:26):
a Stephen King story. There, I guess they're doing that.
A lost Stephen King's the hot thing again in Hollywood
about a man who conspires with his son to kill
his wife. So that premieres, it's got good. That sounds
right up my alley. Are they making a Harvey Weinstein movie?
Is that? I'm I'm sure that is, uh, you know,

(43:52):
give it like a year. I'm sure we'll see some
you know, there's only so many fat guys in Hollywood
play Harvey Weinstein, right Ben. A docu manory that premiere
is today on Netflix for you and this This has
also been getting good reviews. It's called One of Us,
Oh yes, and it follows basically follows three people who
have decided to leave Hasidic judaism. Oh oh great? Yes?

(44:13):
All right? Is that like that? The what was that
Amish show? Remember the Amish Show? A couple of years ago?
They took the kids out. Well, I guess when you're Amish.
They when you're a teenager, you get to go live
the regular life if you want to do it right,
they made a reality Show's right, that's right. So they're
doing it in the Jewish community now, yes, that that
is correct. Um, and they're a big winner there. Well. Hey,

(44:35):
the reviews so far are are pretty good? Is it
in Brooklyn? Are they're filming it in Brooklyn? Um? I
do not know. But last, last, but not least, the
Return of the Walking Dead is this weekend AMC never nine.
It's it's fallen off. It used to be really good.
But whatever, I mean, how many things they do right?

(44:55):
I mean? Well, I mean it's the same zombie thing. Yeah,
it's more about the the living characters than the dead characters.
But anyway, that is coop scoop un thank you for that, coop.
No mention of Kendall Jenner dating Blake Griffin at the
game last night, or I saw a photo in the
tabloids here this is good journalism, good reporting. Eighty year
old Jack Nicholson sitting courtside eating a donut watching the Lakers.

(45:19):
It's good. I liked that. My life's better now that
I know that what kind of donut? I can I
can't tell. I'm just got a photo he's eating, like
and he was trying to hide it. He didn't put
the whole donut in his mouth. He like broke up
the donut and a little donut pieces and then went
piece by piece. Very bougie. Yeah, it's kind of weak.
I mean, people know you're eating a donut. You know.
Let's say, come on, all right, so Ben Mallers show

(45:42):
on Fox, and you know what time it is, and
now it's just what you've been waiting for. It's Ben's
balder Dash. What the hell is this? Formerly known as
something we're not allowed to say? Hit it all right
here ago, it is time now for Benny's Balderdash, each
and every week at this time. There is no controversy,

(46:03):
there is no outrage. There is merely game show fun,
Game show fun. With this edition a bolder Dash, Let's
meet our contestants, our challenger from the Pacific Northwest. We
welcome in Robbie the Mariner fan. Hello, Robbie hey man.
Welcome buddy. You're ready to go? Yep. Now, Robbie is

(46:24):
going to be one of those high falutin TV sports lawyer. Guys.
That's your that's your plan, right, Robbie. Yeah, yeah, he'll
be one of those slimy lawyers. Like someday, whoever the
Colin Kaepernick is like twenty years from now, will hire
Robbie as his guy. That'll be his guy. Yeah. I
prefer to be the Vike Elliott lawyer. But yeah, oh

(46:46):
it is. Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad one. Yeah.
I mean he can appeal forever and just make rock
up those hours. But anyway, yeah, billable hours is what
you want, lots of billable hours. Yes, all right, very good.
Hold on, Robbie, and we have of our defending champion,
an All Pacific Northwest match up. We say, hello, No Ryan,
Hello Ryan in Portland? Hey man, how are you doing? Ryan?

(47:08):
If I was any better, I would be a Cub,
But not a Chicago Cub. Losers. They've been been a
real quick I've been a Cubs fan for thirty years
and I took my hat. Your dogs run played very well.
Very kind of you to say that inaccurate? Might I
add accurate? All right, here we go, let's do it.
Ryan and Robbie the Mariner fan. These questions were written

(47:32):
by who who do you think wrote these questions? It
was a It was a mixed mixture, a missions, all right,
very joint effort between Anthony and Anaheim and the Coop
de loup joint effort. I see, all right. They categories
are peak too soon, shut it down, an old man river.

(47:52):
Where do you want to go? Ryan, our champion? Peak
too soon? All right? These athletes peaked their rookie year
and and to have never had another year like it.
All these answers are a lonzo ball, by the way,
all of them are all right. Here we go, question
number one for two hundred dollars. Your name is your buzzer?

(48:13):
Replacing starter Alex Smith in the twenty twelve Ryan Colin Kaepernick,
correct man, Ryan's like a machine, all right, four hundred dollars.
Selected number two in the twenty twelve draft, this quarterback
would go on to win the twenty twelve NFL Offensive
Rookie of the Year Award. He also signed with the

(48:34):
Browns and suffered an injury the Ryan Oh shoot uh,
Brandon Whedon. All right, Robbie, you want to steal or pass,
I'll definitely be passing. Okay, you pass on that? The
how soon we forget Robert Griffin RG three, RG three

(48:57):
was who we were looking for. Let's keep it going
for six hundred dollars. This person was drafted third overall
in twenty h six by the Tennessee Titans. The former
Longhorn threw over Robbie Ryan Young correct, Vince Young is right?
Eight hundred dollars we go, and known now more for

(49:18):
his dance moves, This one time dominant fullback ran for
over a thousand yards and fifteen rushing touchdowns his rookie year.
Yet this Bengal fan favorite was out of the NFL
by age twenty six. Still doing commercials though these days.
Anybody Ryan Wow, good job? All right? The Icky shuffle,

(49:42):
the Ikey shuffle? What was his real first name? Ben?
You know? I did know, but I Albertson. Who cares
a thousand? All right, thousand bucks? Here we go. This
fifth overall pick by the Bucks out of Auburn started
his career with four hundred thirty four rushing yards in
the first three games and would win Offensive Rookie of

(50:03):
the Year. However, he would never run for a thousand
yards again. Last played for the Rams in twenty eleven.
Robbie Robbie Williams. Whoa Robbie got the game? Williams, whoa Robbie?
Does that mean he's got the league? No? No, okay,

(50:26):
let's not get too excited. We have shut shut it
down an old man river. Where do you want to go?
Robbie h shut it down? Shut it down. It is
for Robbie. We got Robbie an All Pacific Northwest matchup
Robbie the Mariner fan and Ryan in Portland for two
hundred dollars. Here we go. This center, known as an

(50:49):
offensive machine for his offensive moves, rather was also the
number two defensive player of the Year. We won two
Defensive Player of the Year awards uh during his career,
played mostly for the Houston Rockets. Y Ryan Kim is correct,
all right, Hakimoli jahwan al right. Four hundred dollars. Known
for his freakishly large hands, this athlete is only twenty

(51:12):
six years A lobby Bobby hid yeah, Kawhi Leonard is right,
Good job by you shut it down. All these players
known for their defense. Six hundred dollars. Not only is
he the only third baseman to win the Gold Glove
in each of his first four seasons, but he is
also leading it led the majors in RBI since the

(51:34):
start of twenty fifteen. Robbie, Robbie Bam, Robbie again. All right,
eight hundred dollars. Here we go, guys. This athlete, this
athlete's attempted rather being a head coach did not go
as well as his playing days, where he won two
Defensive Player of the Year awards and was the key

(51:56):
part of the Super Bowl win in nineteen eighty five.
Ryan Ryan Lifeline. All right, so where do you gonna go?
All right, this athlete's attempt at being a head coach
did not go as well as his playing days, where
he was a two time Defensive Player of the Year

(52:17):
and a Super Bowl winner in nineteen eighty five. Can't
win with him, can't do it? Mike Singletary, Yeah, yeah,
I'll go with that. It's correct. All right, let's pause
for the cost here, we'll do the score Cooper loop.
Where we at score wise, Robbie got a couple of right,
is it enough to Oh, it's definitely enough. M Ryan

(52:41):
just took the lead with that eight hundred win. But
it is twenty two hundred for Ryan, two thousand for Robbie. Alright,
he comes down to this final balder dash, the category
the longest yard. We'll get to that and we'll do
it next. And we have now final balderdash. Is Ryan
are defending champions like a machine? Is he in any

(53:02):
real danger of losing against Robbie the Mariner fan? The
final balderdash category is the longest yard? The longest yard?
And here we go this running back. Let me give
you the amountist guys wagered. First of all, well, I
should I do that? Should I do that? First? All? Right?
Here we go. Now, Robbie the Mariner fan had two

(53:22):
thousand dollars. He had two thousand dollars. Ryan with twenty
with twenty two hundred dollars, so twenty two hundred for Ryan,
Robbie had two thousand. And the question was this, this
running back owns the record for the longest touchdown run
in NFL history NFL history. Now, Robbie the Mariner fan

(53:44):
wagered four hundred dollars. His answer, Darren sprowls. Darren sprowls.
Ryan he wagered nineteen hundred dollars. Nineteen hundred dollars. His answer,
bo Jackson. Bo Jackson. The correct answer the longest touchdown

(54:04):
run an NFL history of that record held by Tony Dorset.
And because of the fact that Robbie wagered less, we
got a new champion. Robbie wins it. Money management pays off.
Down goes Ryan. Robbie, you won the game, Robbie. I
feel like Ernie els after he won that Major because

(54:26):
he chokes less than the other guy. Yes, well that's
kind of true. But you did win anyway, Robert, So
you get it. You get a golden ticket. Congratulat