Hour 3 - The Bird's Nest

Ben Maller talks about reports that the Blue Jays are in position to lock up Vladimir Guerrero Jr, what Alex Verdugo brings to the Braves, the Athletics only having one beat writer in 2025, Lame Jokes of the Week, and much more!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ding do playball. It's our nuber free as we lumber
along on this Friday, the twenty first day of March.
And here in our number three, all we talk about
the story out of Toronto Baseball's regular season for everyone,

(00:20):
beginning on Thursday of next week. Well, the Blue Jays
blue Jays in position to lock up Vladimir Guerrero after
contract talks turned down and went sideways. Believe it or not,
we'll talk about that. Also, what does outfielder Alex Verdugo
bring to the Atlanta Braves, the former Yankee, red Sock

(00:40):
and Dodger headed to the atl And fill in the
blank game we are told these sacrament Athletics are having
only one beat writer in twenty twenty five is blank.
The Sacrament Athletics having only one beat writer in twenty
twenty five is blank. And we'll fill in the blank.
All of that and more. Plus we'll have lame jokes

(01:02):
of the week with our friend weed Man. Unless he
shows it doesn't show up. It's all right here jump
at the opportunity in our number three, hanging out in
the birds nest. Yes, we are in the bird's nest.
Wel come in the beginning of another hour of the

(01:23):
Ben Malors Show. We are in the air everywhere as
one that's right as one, waiting for the wind to
shift coast, the coast, border, the order and beyond on
the mast and unrealistically powerful microphones of FSR am mondating

(01:45):
live from the change. Just that pocket change. We are
the pocket change of radio, the overnight Shift. We're broadcasting
live from the tyraq dot com studios tyract dot com.
We'll help you get there in unmatched selection, fast, free shipping,
free road hazard protection and over ten thousand recommended in

(02:06):
stars ty raq dot com the way tire mind should be.
I know Benito, the long suffering cowboy fan who did
the day night doubleheader radio style, a big supporter of
TI I Rak loves the round number, the number ten thousand,
and it's actually over ten thousand, but we love round numbers,
so we stopped at ten thousand. Now, the NCAA tournament

(02:27):
is going on right now. We are more than welcome.
You're welcome to call up and we can yap about that.
We did a rant about it earlier. I normally don't
do back to back rants and raves about the same
discussion unless somebody dies or someone's traded. So we'll get
back to that as we go through the overnight, and
we'll have later this hour we're gonna have big men's

(02:49):
lame jokes of the week, We'll have the Malord Riddle
of the day. But we'll begin with baseball. That's right.
The Dodgers magic number now is was it? One hundred
and sixty? Their magic number? As they lead the way
in baseball? Two games in the Doyers and the Cubs
and the real opening day though, is coming up next week. Right,

(03:11):
that was just a soft launch. Some interesting developments now
that we are less than a week away from the
start of the real baseball season. Out of all, no, ihew,
I have not heard maybe not. With the fog of
uncertainty surrounding Vladimir Guerrero Junior in his future with the

(03:35):
Blue Jays, things have taken an encouraging turn. Or is
it encouraging? Well, it depends on whether you believe the
comments made by Mark Shapiro, not Ben Shapiro. Mark Shapiro,
the president of the Toronto baseball team, who expressed confidence
that the organization SEAN will lock up Vlattie to a

(03:59):
contract acting session. Now Guerrero is entering his lame duck season.
He's a lame bird in Toronto. He's in the final
year of his contract. He said that he had closed
off contract negotiations, and so despite the rumors suggesting that
Guerrero Junior will explore free agency next year, the president
of Baseball Ops, Mark Shapiro, made it clear that the

(04:23):
Blue Jays are committed to locking Vladdie Guerrero Junior up
long term in Toronto, and when asked about this to
a state sponsored Blue Jay tow licker, Guerrero confirmed that
though while he's not concerned with the negotiations, he did
confirm that his agent is engaging with the baseball team

(04:45):
there in Canada. And so this was supposed to be
the player that was going to be traded this summer.
Let us discuss the question. According to the Blue Jays,
they are in position to lock up Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
Believe it or not. So I've got Mazoo, windshield wipers
and Wolf of Wall Street and we will combine all

(05:09):
of these things together and we will give you the Blues.
We're gonna give you the blues. So I'm a little annoyed.
First of all, I'm a litt annoyed by this because
this is the big ragou of the baseball trading season. Now,
in terms of getting to the meat of the matter,
the word I will use is ambivalent when it comes
to this. The fact that the guy running the Blue

(05:31):
Jays front office is a cock eyed optimist is not surprised.
It's not surprising. You have to sell hope. You sell
it by the pint, and even if it's false hope.
Just like the milk and Canada that comes in the bag.
You know, we get the milk in the cart and
they get the milk in the bag. Guerrero is a
popular guy. The Blue Jays are a bad team, but

(05:54):
he's a good player on a bad team, and so
you don't want to see him go to some of
the other Yankees or the Red Sox or something like
that if you're Blue Jafi. But ultimately, this is not
this guy Mark Shapiro's call. That is an ownership situation.
You either pay the man or you don't pay the man.

(06:14):
So my vibe on this, my vibe is never wrong.
My vibe is never wrong. My vibe is MISSOO show
me state of mind. If the Blue Jays have the
winning bid. It's a silent auction. You're the only ones
allowed to bid. Guerrero's got a price. It's the buy

(06:36):
now price. If you hit the buy now price, you
get the player. And the deadline is sometime in July.
The trade deadline, I believe is July thirty first, and
so that is the date. That is the date where
you have to either trade him or that's it. The
better make it app and if you don't make it appen,

(06:58):
you gotta trade him. You don't want to be like
the Angels who held their guns and didn't trade Shoe
a Otani and then watched him go thirty five miles
up the road to Dodger Stadium and haunt the Halos.
First thing, Artie Marino's bubble a right now. Secondly, we
go to the transaction wire. Now in the state of Georgia,

(07:22):
the Atlanta Braves making a move late spring roster. Addition,
stories over the last ten days or so, why can't
this guy get a job? I don't understand. Well, it
turns out he now got a job. We're talking about
Alex Verdugo Outfield, a former Red Sox, Dodgers the Yankees
last year. So what does Alex Verdugo bring to the

(07:47):
Atlanta Braves. So the answer is a warm body. That's
what he brings to the Atlanta Braised. A warm body
for Dugo has settled into his career. This guy was
traded for move Bets. Dumb to dumb, dumb dumb, that's
the song for the Red Sox front office. They traded
Mookie Bets, Hall of famer, who's provided two World championships

(08:11):
with the Dodgers, for alex Efen Verdugo. Now, Verdugo's played
eight hundred big league games, exactly eight hundred regular season games,
bouncing from LA to Boston to New York and now Atlanta.
So you know what you're gonna get. You know, it's
beta tested, it's proven. You are going to get a

(08:35):
mediocre baseball player. That's it. You're gonna He's a jag,
just a guy. He's a two to seventy two hitter.
He was much worse than that with the Yankees last year.
And he'll hit fourteen home runs that's his average, and
driving around sixty runs and that's it. So the verdict
is in Alex Verdugo is like windshield wipers. Okay, like

(09:00):
windshield wipers replaceable. They wear out the cars in the
bad weather, they wear out. You got to get new
winshield wipers. Making one point five million, and I believe
they've already sent him to the minor league camp. He'll
he'll eventually be called up soon. But by baseball standards,
if you're making one point five million, that's jump chain.
That's jump chain. So Verdugo will end up in the

(09:24):
atl shortly, but he's going to start the year in
the suburbs of Georgia in the minor leagues. The Braves
play that by the book, by the book. All right, now,
final thought, We head now to media musings. Media Musings Department,
State Fund at MLB dot com. Statefund at MLB dot
com will be the only media outleague with a day in,

(09:48):
day out beat reporter for the Athletics. Yeah, the A's
are in Sacramento. Chew on that, so say major League
Baseball team, and there will be only one reporter. That's it,
one day in, day out reporter. So let's play the

(10:11):
fill in the blank game. I love the fill in
the blank game. So here's the fill in the blank game.
The Sacramento Athletics having only one beat rider in twenty
twenty five is blank. So I'll go first. My word

(10:31):
is cass up blanca. Right. Hey, this is the reason
it's casablanca is because you can have your cake and
eat it too. You get paid a major League baseball salary,
You get service time in Major League Baseball without all
the hassles. Without all the hassles, you don't have to
worry about being pestered like the players for the Yankees

(10:54):
and the Red Sox and the Dodgers. You don't have
those hassles. You know, one reporter working for a league
run media outfit, which means the players on the Athletics.
I'm not saying they're gonna do this, but if they
wanted to, the athletic players this season could go like

(11:14):
that iconic scene in the Wolf of Wall Street and
play around with a bunch of hookers and cocaine. And
it's not going to get reported because it's a negative story.
And state sponsored MLB media does not report negative stories
about their product. So that's my opinion. They don't do that. Now,
playing in the minor league ballpark, Minor League ballpark in Sacramento,

(11:39):
the team is so embarrassed by being in Sacramento. They
have such shame. Every game is like the Walk of
shan They don't want to admit that they're dating Sacramento.
It's like a it's like a booty call situation. They
don't want people to know about it. And even though
Sacramento has a larger metro area then Pittsburgh or Baltimore,

(12:01):
even San Diego and a bunch of other cities, doesn't matter.
They don't want to admit it. They just got rid of,
they erased. It's so embarrassing. It's embarrassing that weasel commissioner
Rob manfraud allowed that to happen. The snake owner of
the Athletics, who's moving the team to Vegas. Then the
whole thing just stinks. If you're gonna be in Sacramento,

(12:24):
you might as well honor the area. Now, I know,
we have a guy that's a big fan of the
show that hates Sacramento and he's stuck in Sacramento, and
I get all that, But if you're gonna be there
in as they say in the Marines, embrace the suck. Okay,
embrace the suck. It is the Ben Mahler shows. We
get right to the meat of the matter and if

(12:45):
you'd like to be part eight seven seven ninety nine
on Fox Got Lame Jokes of the Week coming up
a little bit later, also on X at Bean Mahlor.
That is at Ben Mahlor, if you'd like to be
part of the program, will take your phone calls and
comments and all of that time. Now for the malor

(13:10):
Riddle of the day. And here's the Mallor Riddle of
the day. You can answer this on X at Ben Maller,
So don't disappear. That's at Ben Maller, And here's the
riddle of the day. Actor and comedian Larry David set
the record for the most expensive blank. Again. Actor and

(13:32):
comedian Larry David's at the record for the most expensive blank.
That is the malor Riddle of the day. The answer,
we'll get to it and we will do it next.

Speaker 2 (13:46):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio.

Speaker 1 (13:54):
App Bell Miller and you. It is the Ben Maller
Show up all night every night. We thank you for
spending time with us. We know you have options, not
good ones, and we are here to the early morning
hours and on the weekends. Ben's got the Fifth Hour podcast.
You can listen to that new episode dropping of that podcast.

(14:17):
That's the Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy Pod. I'll be coming
up later today, Ben and Danny, do you do that?
You can hear the original recipe podcast later. You can
interact over the live show. So if you're working third shift,
just hanging out playing video games all night and you
got into the Devil's lettue, whatever it might be, she

(14:37):
just gotta go to the bathroom. We're here with you
and interact. Sayalo to Ben at Ben mallor Lorraina if
you want to hear fiery Loreina. We had fiery Loraina
back in the first hour. But she's calm now. She
got her Boosy's Merch Merch and sailor herb fsr Tech

(15:02):
Queen and koubloop Ah broco fan, that's uh broco fan
and those are the cast of characters on the show. Yeah,
and now back back to it. Well, and actually, Bill,
we got to pay off the Mallor Riddle of the day.

(15:25):
That's right, the Malor Riddle of the day. This is
the attempt to get you to listen a little bit longer. Thus,
it's the mallor riddle today, And here is the riddle
of the day. We go now to kind of a
hybrid story. Actor comedian Larry David, guy that created Seinfeld,
the show about Nothing, set the record for the most

(15:47):
expensive blank. The most expensive blank, that is the mallor
riddle of the day. And what is the answer to
the riddle of the day. Let's see, is anyone know
the answer? We go to the Great Unwashed and what
do we have? Hair plugs? Guess by William Pigmy goats

(16:09):
from Far Out Dave Late Night drug tester says the
most expensive cameo shout out from Clipper Darryl's the answer,
clam said a granny adult doll is the answer. Fergduck said,
finished basement is the way to go andy in Line,

(16:31):
Old Lakes, Minnesota said Larry David bought the most expensive
hearing aids after listening to Screamin' Steven from North Dakota.
That's about right. Yeah, I'm more at headphones. Chris and
Kent Washington writes, and he says, ay, bedey, it's made
of gold and adorned with diamonds. Adult diapers guessed by Fudgie.

(16:55):
Alf the Alien Opiner says in autographed baseball, Well that
actually that's not an autograph, Alf, the thing you sent me,
I believe that is declining the value of the ball.
That the ball, that's vandalism. What the person that signed
that ball? That's vandalism. Who else do we have? Charm
Charman Harmon Charman? That is that our Harmon that works

(17:17):
on the Jason smithsher knows Charman Harmon anyway, not Mike Harmon,
says baseball from harm in Wormtown. Okay, what else we have?
It's a menora guessed by Milkman Mike in Colorado. Who
else do we have? Overdue library book from digital space
monkey Timothy in Northern Kentucky says a punching blind Scott

(17:42):
in the face. Let's see potato kinish is the answer?
From Stevine Meatballs Eke and Roseville, Minnesota one with the yamaka.
Who else do we have? A most expensive hose from
truck or Joe? A statue of Danny DeVito from Nick
in Wisconsin. That's his answer? Who else? That's enough? Lorrainea, Yeah,

(18:08):
I think he got one of those really expensive berries
you know, like the the twenty dollars strawberries and one
hundred dollars. Mellow, Oh, that's that scam market in Hollywood.
They overcharge people for stuff and idiots go there and no,
I get to pay more for a strawberry? Is that
what it was? No? Turns out that actor comedian Larry
David just set the record for the most expensive baseball

(18:31):
card five Pops Series one baseball collection. His one one
autograph card has sold that auction for over ten thousand dollars.
Somebody spent over ten thousand dollars on a Larry David
autograph baseball card from the good people over there at Tops.

(18:53):
So try to top that. There you go, knock yourself out.
Very nice trucker, Joe, he wrote, And he complain, He says,
I feel like Coople Loop has gone soft on your
mallard in the third degree. A lot of passes, a
few fails outside of the one on today's show. But
the nature Boy says, I thought your comment about the
Lakers was spot on. You think Luca would have slowed down? Yeah,

(19:15):
of course, not Nate, And you know the answer, nature Boy.
But Cooper Loop can't handle the truth. He can't and
the Lakers were absolutely crushed by the Milwaukee Bucks's a
domination situation, an absolute domination situation. I's go to the phones.
It is a call in show, so we should probably

(19:35):
take a call and let's see any meaning. We do
have lame jokes coming up a little bit. Let's say
hello to Let's say hello to Jackson, who's in Galveston, Texas.
Hello Jackson, welcome, Yes, thank.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
You, about twenty three years ago. Okay, this is a
fun fact and it's involving the text tech game versus raight.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Hold on, hold on, say play the fun fact, Lorraine.
It's a fun fact. Played a fun fact. Go ahead,
fun fact, go ahead, Okay.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Jeff Flenders the assistant coach for Texas Tech. He was
the assistant for Emporie State University, which is one hundred
miles up from which tak Kansas, in two thousand and
two to two thousand and three. In two thousand and
three and two thousand and four, then he left and

(20:26):
went and worked with Grant McCaslin at the junior college level.
How do I know this, I was on staff as
a student assistant at em Poorie State University at the time.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Ah Okay, so this is a fun fact for you.
It's a fun fact, right.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
But also for this game and what's going on in
college basketball right now?

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Are you? Are you beaming with pride right now?

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Well, I mean not so much with pride, but I
it's hard for me to choose whose who to win?
You know what I'm saying? Well the well Ben McCollum
two years later, became the assistant for.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
Old time time out, time out on the court, time
out on the court. Let me sell you, Coople hoop
do you find this a fun fact? Coop? Do you
believe that this is a fun fact? Cooble hoop? No, Larina,
do you think this is a fun fact? Are you
enjoying this? It is a fact. Are you enjoying? Jackson

(21:36):
in Galvason, I've had more fun than an old folks home.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
Ben.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
Oh, that's a shot, Jackson. Can you dress up the
story a little bit? Can you add some fireworks and
bells and whistles? Okay?

Speaker 3 (21:47):
You telling me the team from two thousand and two
to two thousand and six. Okay, during that time, under
a legendary coach of the NBA by the name of
Doug mo his son, he David Moe who was the.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Head Kurt Okay, I gotta go, thank you. I'm gonna
go bang my head against the wall till the bleeds.
I'll enjoy that more. But thank you. It's not it's
not you, it's us. We're just bad talk show people.
Not that I didn't want to do a deep dive
on Texas tacting all that. Thank you, oh Man, Jed

(22:26):
who fled wake me Up. Jed, Wake me Up? Jed
who fled Wake me Up.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
Steve Avery, Randon putcher for the Braves, Ron j J. J.
Pere batted for the Marriners. Other players played sports as
they were on rosters from two thousand whenever to two
thousand whatever.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
You know what we should have told this zero, something.

Speaker 4 (22:48):
Like the Alt Nines, the Alt five, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 3 (22:51):
It was, it was. It was awkward during those times.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
Not as awkward as that last guys songe call. But
I mean, god, I would never courage anyone to do drugs, dude,
but you need to go ahead in your life and
dedicate yourself to hard narcotics because you're a way to
oral there.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
We can't we can't endorse that. Did you hear dogs call?
Earlier from New York. Eat dog was non secular man,
it's terrible, terrible, terrible.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Did I didn't then? But but such as your talent
with the with words that I understand? He's non sequitary man.
The oil needs to be fitting, can you?

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Oh, dude?

Speaker 1 (23:27):
You know calling the laughter?

Speaker 4 (23:31):
I dude, man, I'm gonna give your ass away.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
You got the fourth period?

Speaker 2 (23:34):
You can bet that. Laugh at me like that?

Speaker 1 (23:36):
I mean you really you really don't know what? All right?

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (23:39):
Maybe not taking me? Hey, that's all right, No, I
thought you knew you? Okay, Hey he was he was?

Speaker 5 (23:46):
He was a Yeah, he was a pe teacher, not
an English teacher.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Apparently not so a non sequar a didn't matter what
you got.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
Thirty four?

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Okay, so thirty one? Can I can I get a word?
In the hell is going on here? Crap? All right?
So let explained, dummy. A non sequartor is if I'm
talking about strawberries and all of a sudden in the

(24:15):
conversation you say, you just randomly start talking about motorcycles
without he just doesn't follow the same train of thought, right,
It's it makes no sense. It's a non sequart or.
It doesn't go with what we're talking.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
About, non non smart, non sequatur. It's part of the
it's Latin.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
No, take a breath, Take a breath, Take a breath.
Is that it?

Speaker 3 (24:45):
There?

Speaker 1 (24:46):
You go?

Speaker 4 (24:48):
Do you take a piece of math of mine?

Speaker 3 (24:51):
Keep me out there?

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Okay? Thank you? Do I need an emergency meeting with Andrea?
Is there something on I don't know about it? Is
there some kind of other cosmic event? I gotta pull
out the Farmer's Almanac here and find out what the
f is going on? Mean, may we're we're always off
the rails on this, but this is like next level

(25:13):
off the rails. What the f is going on?

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Man?

Speaker 5 (25:21):
All right?

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Well, I am a glutton for punishment. So we now
go to the Leprechaun in Boston, calling early normally. He
calls in the final hour and we say hello to
Mike the Leprechaun, a real leprechaun who lives in the
Boston area. Hello, Mike the Leprechaun.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Top of the morning. If you're right, I'm not pres
literal earlier than usual. Anyway, I would put the show
back on the rail tracks, you know how I do?

Speaker 1 (25:46):
I will do that. I feel I don't think you're strong.
I don't think you're strong enough. Are you strong enough
to put the show back on the on the tracks?

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Well today the Joe Rainbow, Because there's pouring way in
here in Boston. I want to ask here, are you
going to workcown for the Legal Bees?

Speaker 1 (26:02):
I will not know until later on in the summer.
That's up to the good people over there at NBC.
If they pick up another season of the TV show,
we will be back in Boston. And I promised our
friends in Worcester. They said, they hook, I got you.
There's a team called the Wu Socks, right, that's the

(26:24):
Red Sox affiliate there in Worcester. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
all right. So I was gonna go and hang out
there and I think they and one of the guys said,
in honor of Masshole Mickey, go out there and throw
out the first pitch. I think Alf's gonna show up
in some other famous callers or whatever. So, but that's
only if they pick up the TV show. If not,

(26:45):
then I'm not doing it. So it's up to them.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
I would bring up I would bring up Di from
our local pool and Dot club, A really good Di.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
You're gonna bring what?

Speaker 3 (26:54):
What do you say, Lorena a musical.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh you're bringing a band? Okay a band? Okay, d yeah, wonderful, great, outstanding. Yes,
did Lorena put the picture up on her wall? But
my artwork, Loraina is I think she's she's giving you
this silent treatment. I'm sure you've had women in your
life give you a silent treatment. Loraina is not to talk.

Speaker 3 (27:24):
You know what she reminds me of. It was two
days ago devoted for the fish of the Year, and
she reminds me of that fish of the year, the blobfish.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Look up the blobfish. Well, that's not really help you.
That's not You're not you're not gainy, you're not curring
favor with our friend Lreena. Okay, she's she's ignoring you.
She's refusing to even acknowledge your presence here.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
I will, I will, I'm gonna play to hold on?

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Am I getting punked? Whatever?

Speaker 3 (28:02):
On? What's going on? Okay? Happy Friday?

Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay, go away? Thank you? Seriously did I miss something?
Is this f with Mallard Knight on the show? Is
this let's screw with the talk show host night?

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Like?

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Seriously? Like, what is what the hell is going on?
I need answers, Lorena, I got nothing for you, Ben,
you got nothing, Coop? Can you explain what's going on?
I do know, total boondoggle. What I told Coop about
this drug earlier. There's a new drug that's being missed
in the drug It's called a trink. Maybe everyone's on

(28:38):
the new trink drugs. It's not like it's not like
that's just Coffer today, Like that's not new Lorena. Well,
next hour she's going to talk about the this new
thing called roofies, a new item that's just out there.
And uh yeah, well apparently makes you go crazy.

Speaker 5 (28:57):
So maybe I think it's it's close to the weekend, okay,
and the people that are still awake right now are
just kind of delirious because they're almost there but not
quite there.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
Okay, you can kind of feel the weekend, the vibrations, the.

Speaker 5 (29:14):
Like the professional normal people, they haven't woken up yet. Okay,
so yeah, we'll get yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Yeah. Yeah. Next hour is when the people that have jobs,
you know, real jobs, that get because you've got a
lot of East Coast people that get up early at
that like five am. That's like get a real job. Yeah,
eighty five percent of the world's work. The other fifteen
percent come out here. It's a playground for the blank blanks.
Overnight sports radio and uh yeah, you have no idea

(29:43):
what that is, Lorena, right, you have no idea. No,
never heard of it. It's one of the single greatest
speeches of all time and in fact, if you can
find it, it's in the system. This guy Lee Ilya,
he was the manager of the Cubs. First name Lee
l Ee and then E. L i A. And he
had one of the all time great rants about the
Cub fans. And I quote him, this goes many years ago.

(30:07):
It's a lot of people got founded. Yeah, give me
a little taste of this. Is Lee. You know, this
guy was the manager of the Chicago Cubs.

Speaker 5 (30:14):
Short Lee Elliott.

Speaker 3 (30:16):
Yeah, they're the real Chicago fans.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
They can kiss my ass there you go. Well, that's
just no. I need the I need the eighty five
Oh you don't have the eighty five percent. That's that's
a taste of it. It's on the YouTube. It's on
the YouTube. It's right up there. Oh, here's the long one.
You want the long one, Well, give me a little
bit of it and we'll cut it off. When he
gets to the eighty five percent, it is very long.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
So they are the real Chicago fans kiss my.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Right on. Oh see that wasn't even that low. No,
maybe it's.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
This one was working.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Yeah, I come out here. Yeah, Clay Blanke, that's it.
That's it. That's the drop right there. It's all time,
one of the all time good drips, like.

Speaker 5 (31:04):
The one where but where I don't know who the
manager is, but when they were throwing trash on the
field and he.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah, we tried about the Bengals coach. Yes, yeah, Sam,
why she's dead now, but Sam one, you don't live
in knock, you don't live in Cleveland, knock it off. Yeah, uh,
that was that was pretty good. How about our guy
Jim Moore that used to work here and we couldn't

(31:32):
do Diddley Pooh on offense and that was a disgraceful perform.
And there has been so many of those great rants
over the years, just so many, but lee Ia is
the is the gold standard. And a lot of these
guys have worked at our shop over the years. Dennis
green Lake, coach of the Cardinals. You know, crown them,

(31:52):
crown their asses, but they are we thought they were
and we let them off the hook all time. Gre
do we have weed man by the ways he he there?
Oh good, Okay, we'll pause for the cause. We've got
Big Ben's lame jokes of the week, and that is
right around the corner. But be sure, and this is
very important, be sure to support our friends over Tractor Supply.

(32:14):
Tractor Supply knows that a winning season takes practice, teamwork,
and he can do attitude. Thankfully. I know, scream and
Stevens yelling as I'm talking about this. When you have
a neighbor like Tractor Supply, teamwork comes easy. Whether you're
caring for pets, chickens or a few wakers. Our team,
our team members will help you succeed season after season.

(32:37):
Tractor Supply for life out here. Big Ben's lame jokes
of the week. We'll get to it. We'll do it next.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
Bill Miller and you, it is the Ben Mahler Show,
and you are locked in right now. Lame Jokes of
the Week coming up in a moment. But shortly after
the Ben Malor Show, the podcasts would be going up.
You missed any of the overnight show, be sure to
check out the podcast just search malor wherever you get

(33:10):
your podcast Be sure to follow, rate and review the
podcast five stars, and don't forget to listen to the
fifth hour podcast later today as well a bonus podcast
only edition. But just search mallor wherever you get your podcasts,
you'll see the latest episode posted right after we get
off the air. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Knock knock, who's there?

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Blame week, Blame we too. It's Big Man's lame joke
of the week and nore we go out, time out,
Poor big Man's lame jokes a week. You're actual jokes
by actual listeners. Hello weed Man, Hello weed Man, I
love you. Did your roommate come back? Yeahortunately oh no

(33:59):
your wait? All right, let's get to the jokes and
thanks to everyone that wrote these jokes. Send them in
for next week. Care of Benmatlers Show at gmail dot com.
That's Ben Malers Show at gmail dot com. Did you
know that Lizzo is suing Vince McMahon over the Wwe

(34:21):
know why? Yeah, apparently she tried to use the name
Worldwide Eating and you know, tied up in Litigan as
Georgia Uvalde, Texas. What are Lizzo's favorite parts of March Madness?
What the round of sixty four? And she loves the
Sweet sixteen? Big fan? That's Eric in Kansas. What happened

(34:49):
the last time Lizzo went out for Korean barbecue? What
she brought home? A doggie bag? A doggie? Wow?

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Sir?

Speaker 1 (35:00):
For Todd the comedian. All right, Lizzo was so excited
by her recent weight loss that she she didn't know,
she didn't know whether to go to the bathroom or
go blind?

Speaker 3 (35:14):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah, so she farted and closed one eyes. What she did?
That's a Dan in South Carolina? Thank you Dan? All Right?
How does Lizzo plan on getting to the moon? How
space x x x x x x xx l is
how she's gonna get to That's a Drew Drew in Minnesota.

(35:38):
How does Lizzo like her Tater Todds? Buy the bag?
Buy the bag. That's a free long shot from La Masa,
San Diego Way, our buddy, free long shot. Why is
Lizzo a fan of board Ops?

Speaker 3 (35:54):
Why?

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Well, she loves Mary's Mac and sheese a big fan there.
That's how about Mary? She's only been on the show
a couple of days and she's already getting jokes written
about her by buttermilk Cavo. Well, what else is lost
beside weed man hippies? Teeth? What his desire to work?

(36:20):
That's a buttermilk tavo again Big Ben's lame jokes of
the week. What is the best thing about being weed
man hippie? What if you get punched in the mouth,
you won't lose any teeth. That's a eg in Roseville, Minnesotah. Okay,

(36:41):
what is thank you queen obvious? What is the difference
between the Dyer's and weed Man's underwear?

Speaker 3 (36:48):
What?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
According to Tony the Bay Area, the Dodgers are the
evil Empire, weed Man's underwear is just evil. So how
is weed man hippie? Like a bad soccer team?

Speaker 3 (37:04):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (37:05):
No goals, no goals, that's surfer Todd the comedian did here?
Weed Man got a call from a Hollywood star. He's
gonna be a new version of a McCaulay culkin classic.
How about that?

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Wow?

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Home alone? No, No, it's homeless alone. It's what they're
calling it. It's a spinoff. That's Dennis in Detroit. Come on, No,
that's homeless. I know, all right. Did you know that
Lizzo and weed Man Hippie had a snack company that
was shut down?

Speaker 3 (37:40):
Wow? No?

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, apparently it was just too high in fat, so
they got Timothy. Timothy and Northern Kentucky set that one in.
You got any jokes over there? Kobaloop uh been.

Speaker 5 (37:54):
Did you hear that weed Man hippie got arrested for
public nudity?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
I missed that.

Speaker 5 (38:00):
Yeah, the cops took him to small claims court.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
That's from Benny Brightside.

Speaker 5 (38:08):
You can send your inappropriate jokes to Ben mallerproducer at
gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Okay, did you know the young weed Man hippie helped
to invent the toothbrush?

Speaker 2 (38:17):
No?

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Yeah, because if anyone else had invented it, it would
have been called the teeth brush. That's George and yourvolved
in Texas. Did you did you hear that weed Man
is starting a homeless comedy troupe? Wow? No, yeah, it's
called the Sleeping on the Groundlings is what it's called.
That's Eric Eric in Kansas. Set that one in. What

(38:40):
do weed man? What does weed man do when his
roommate is around? In college basketball? What do they all
have in common. What March madness? There you go, March madness.
What What do weed man in the Miami heat have
in common? What when Tracy Morgan and has to look
at either one he vomits. That's an Eric in Kansas.

(39:05):
Very nice, it's big fangs. Lame jokes of the week.
Let's see one more. What takes longer than help a
Manda shower? We man eating corn on the cob. That's
chipping Maine. A very funny