October 12, 2024 • 25 mins
Maller & Danny G. have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Suck it San Diego, Midnight Run, Oh What Fun, Rocket Waste, the Grudge Report, Idiom of the Week, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mallor and Danny g Radio and a Happy Saturday to you,
a college football Saturday, Saturday Saturday.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
As I got a bunch of good games today, including
that Ohio State Oregon game, which is the game that
you must watch it. If you don't watch it, you're
a bad human being.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I got stuff going on today, Danny, you know what
I'm saying, And.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I mean, I'm gonna try to watch am I watching
it on my phone, but I'm gonna try to check
out some of it.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
Yeah, And of course you and I wake up as
very happy sports fans this morning.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Tatis the last hope for the Padre.
Speaker 6 (01:12):
Brought on the third pick by her mondas the Dodgers
being sent series.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's right, Danny. I never doubted the Dodgers. I knew
they were gonna get it done. I tried to tell everyone,
no one listen to me.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Manny can suck it, Tatis can bite it. All right.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So today is the twelfth day of October. And I
mentioned yesterday not a lot a big Jewish holiday, but
not a lot like of the dope holidays that we
like to talk about. And so this is a back
to back bad holiday days. It is National Costume Swap Day.
You got crickets, Yeah, a little bit, a National Vermont Day,
(02:17):
big day for the Green Mountain State and our friend
Arnie Spaniard. So congratulations, and none of these other days
really really stand out. So we'll just move on from that.
On this podcast, we have Midnight Run, Oh What Fun,
Rocket Waste, the Grudge Report, and the Idiom of the Week.
(02:40):
The Idiom of the Week. We'll get to that later
no breach of mccorm, but we'll start with this. So
I mentioned yesterday on the Friday podcast that I had
slept all day and it was it was one of
those things where you wake up Danny, as I said
on the podcast. It was like the Twilight Zone. I
wasn't really sure where I was, what time it was,
(03:01):
whether I was dead or alive.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It was that kind of thing. And it's only get
worse because the time change is coming up and then
we're gonna fall back, and so it's gonna suck even more.
So that I know that that's upcoming. But since I
slept all day, I was pretty wide awake late into
the night, and so me and the wife decided, let's
(03:27):
go gamble. What the hell? Why not? So we drove
all the way out to beautiful sand Burdeu. I can't
think of a better place, Danny to spend a Friday
night into a Saturday morning than San Bernardino at yama Bah. Yeah,
but I showed up to Yama Ba, which has a wonderful,
(03:49):
wonderful casino. There's a hotel. I've stayed there a couple
of times, beautiful hotel, amazing property, and at the same time,
Danny a very depressing place, a very pressing place because
the people that are around there. Now, there are some
young people that are gambling, but it's a lot of
people who are even older than I am, and I'm
getting old a lot of people older than me. There's
(04:12):
a lot of people, a fair amount of people that
are missing body parts, that have oxygen, that are not
doing well. They appear to be on the short list
to check into the Pearly Gate Hotel.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
And wait, wait, wait a second, are you telling me
the TV commercials are inaccurate? Well there, Yeah, they show
a bunch of young, glamorous people. That's all you see
on TV.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, I mean there are some, but if you were
to say per one hundred people, it would be roughly
ninety five people like I just described, maybe two or
three really good looking people and then some others average. So,
but it was a midnight run, Oh what fun. We
didn't arrive there until like eleven, almost mid nine anything.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It was damn because we're party animals.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah yeah, so we may or may not have gotten
hooked up. We may or may not have a relative
and in law who is a big gambler. And so
we showed up there and had a little bit of
free play. My wife likes the slots and I liked
the fact that it was free play, so I was
on that. And then we had some food. We had
(05:26):
a hookup for food at the nine oh nine, which
is really cool. That's a good food court at Yahma Bah.
I do recommend it. The barbecue place, unfortunately, was closed,
so I didn't get that. But we had a blast
and my wife actually won money. We left with more
money than we spent.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
She won. It wasn't much.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It was like a hundred bucks, but one hundred bucks
is one hundred bucks. I'm not going to turn down
a hundred bucks. And ended up leaving with about one
hundred bucks and got a pretzel. And I don't want
to say this thing was was big. I don't want
to embellish, but it was the size of the state
of New Hampshire. It was awesome, and it was expended
like fifteen bucks. And also got a pizza and some
(06:03):
stuff and so we had a good night and then
we had to make the long trip back to the
Mela mansion. But I thought, overall a relatively fun time.
I did not plan on doing that, but I felt
bad because I had slept the entire day, so we
had to do something. There's not a lot open late
to do. Casinos never close, so I was like, we'll
(06:25):
go out there, let it rip.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
We let it rip.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Had a wonderful time won a little bit of money,
and it's a little dangerous. I can't wait till sports
gambling is legal, not that I it would be wrong, Danny.
If I had someone to put bets in, you should
not do that. But at the same time, it would
just make the experience. Because there's a spot over there
(06:48):
where I know they're going to put a sports book,
but they can't do it because it's not legal yet
at the casinos. And I was told that twenty twenty
five was when it's likely going to happen, but I
haven't heard anything. And here we are in October and
we've only got a few more months to go until
twenty twenty five, So I'm not sure how that's going
to go.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Going to open when the Animal thunderdomes starts.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yes, yes, your your son co O will be thirty
five years old, give or take by the time that happens.
It's not a rocket chip the gambling sports gambling in California.
It's definitely not that. But is it rocket waste?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Danny?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Is it rocket waste? That's the question.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
It's funny you just a minute ago you used the
term let it rip. Yeah, holy, And I know we
have Bible belt listeners. So I hope I don't offend you,
but holy shit, what a Saturday last weekend our daughter
who just turned fourteen. It was like your wife's birthday, Ben,
It was a birthday month because two weekends prior there
(07:53):
was a sleepover.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
There was a.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Party with twelve teenage girls fear at the house, which
was very interesting. There was Disneyland for her, and then
the family like her mom and aunts and uncle scheduled
Wayna Park for her because they all have seasoned passes
for nots Berry Farm.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I spent a decent amount of time at knots I
mean I was at Disneyland more because it used to
be cheap to go to Disneyland. Spent some nights, you know,
going around. I'm not a big roller coaster guy, and
knots has a fair amount of roller coasters. When I
was a kid, they had the Camp Snoopy there. They
had the train. They still have the train, right, the
old Western train and all that the gold mining stuff,
(08:37):
and that's cool. Buck Buck Buck chicken chicken. That fried
chicken place is famous Atknotsbury Farm.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Yeah, famous for the jam. I remember my mom saying,
oh I can't wait to get some raspberry jelly before
I leave.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, they have it right.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Kids were like, jelly, screw you and your jam and.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Now you're at the age day anywhere, like I'd really
like some jelly.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Life comes full circle. So when we arrived Ben, our
daughter convinced us. She told us it's a scary roller coaster,
but you guys can do it. And my better half
an eye. When we got off, both our faces of
shade of green and we both felt carsick. My wife
looked at me and she said, is it because we're
older now? Either that or that ride was invented to
(09:23):
make you feel sick. But not Sparry Farm is a
lot of fun. It's one of the parks left in
southern California that's actually affordable. They obviously have that famous
Not Scary Farm, which, thank god for me. It was
game one of Dodgers Padres, so I wanted to leave
at five pm. Anyways, so they shut the regular park down,
(09:44):
kick everybody out, and then they get everything prepared for
Not Scary Farm and let a whole new crowd in.
We were in one of the shops before they kicked
us out at five pm. It was Elvira, all the
Elvira stuff from over the years. I don't know how
much you know about that actress, but she obviously famous
for that Halloween character.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That I saw her poop.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
They contracted her to go there every year to not
scary farm cabaret type comedy show.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I did not know that.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, I didn't know that either. Obviously we grew up
watching her on TV.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Yeah, my aunt was fully into this, like, oh my god,
I love Alvira, buying all this expensive Alvira stuff in
the shop. Now in her seventies, can't do that show anymore.
But I guess was going to show up to sign autographs.
My wife nudging me like do you smell what I smell?
So we're looking, you know, we're doing the shoe check.
(10:40):
Is it from the restrooms right outside the shop here?
Can't be CoA because you know, he pooped at the
house before we left for the day, and he's won
and done back it up a little bit. Then before
we went to this gift shop, the whole family met
at Johnny Rockets, which is right there inside the park.
(11:00):
Usually for CoA, we feed him a lot of fruit,
a lot of goodness. Try to feed this little kid healthy.
There was nothing on the Johnny Rockets menu to give
him though, so we actually fed him a few French fries.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Has he had fries a lot? Or was this one
of the first times.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
He said, for me, one of the first times he's
double fisted at Johnny Rockets.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
He's got the two.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
You know what this reminds me. It reminds me of
Remember we're old, so we know who Todd Morenovitch is,
the guy over the Raiders, and his dad would not
allow his kid to eat like a big Mac or anything.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Yeah, we're not going to go overboard like that because
I don't want him growing up to do heroin.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Probably fine until he'll be corrupted once he goes to school,
but you're fine until then he can't.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Yeah, that's what happened to Todd Morenovitch once he got
to college. He was eating Big Macs, going crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Doing all kinds of exotic drugs, allegedly.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I tell Brenda inside the shop when she's wondering what
this bad odor is, I said, do you think he's
having a bad reaction to all those I mean when
I say all those French fries? He maybe ate a
total of five French fries, but still it's a foreign
food to him.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And she's like, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
She's got him in that babyholder front backpack where the
kid is up against the mom.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Sure he's asleep, and she does the mom test. She
sticks her hand down into his diaper.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Oh no, what do you think she pulled up when
her fingers came out of the diaper.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Did she become a fan of the Cleveland Browns.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
She looked like she was an official member of the
dog Pound. She had her fingers. Oh no, man, Now
now she's panicking. So I go to the diaper bag,
I get wet ones. It's okay, relax, I will get
it off your fingers. And she's she's hot, stepping.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Like, oh my god.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
We're inside a gift store by the way, with lots
of people in there, so we get get this off
her fingers. We go right outside, thank god. As I mentioned,
the restroom's outside. There's two separate little private family restrooms.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Both have the red thing on the door. Busy.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Of course, she has to go into the main women's
bathroom and she's in there for a while. So I'm
sitting outside praying don't let this be too much of
a nightmare. She obviously has to wake him up. Comes
out of the bathroom and it is like a scene
from a burning house movie where the people are running
out of the house. She's running out of the bathroom.
(13:33):
The baby is screaming, and she has shit just covered
all over the front of.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Her Oh no, I know where this is going, I think, babe, babe.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I need help. Be shit everywhere. He has projectile shit.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
He's out of she's out of she's out of baby wipes.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
She used her last diaper. Oh no, he is crying.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Poor guy has just like a little towel. It looks
like a little towel wrapped around his waist. It turned
out it was one of his older baby blankets. I
guess was in the diaper bag. She has that wrapped
around his waist. She sits him down on my lap
and I get him to calm down. As he's sitting
on my lap bend, he peas all over my leg.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Oh that's great.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Oh yeah, great dad moment shower.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You need a shower. And he was trying to help
you out.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah. She goes back inside.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Take two and I get a text saying, oh, my god,
Oh my god, Oh my god, I need help. This
second time she went in, she was able to use
one of those two private family restrooms. So I go
in front of the door and I knock on the
door and I just hear her inside.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Oh god, oh god.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
She finally, by the way, there's a lady standing outside
this bathroom waiting to take her baby in, sees the
mess we're in, still pressing us to the hurry. My
wife comes out, gives her the evil eye. That's step one,
step two, looks at me and says it's clogged.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
It's clogged.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
She's out of baby wipes, so she is washing his
butt in the sink. As she's doing that, he continues
to projectile shit into the sink.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Wow, this is a poop fest. Now we're at the
next level.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
An invisible shit hose hooked up to him. How could
so much crap come out of a forty pound person.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And you're saying he only ate five.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
French all he had up to that point at the
park were those French fries. Had to have been the
old oil they used in the French fries. There at
Johnny Rockets.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
There's a ride that would sum up this story at
I think it's still it not spray for me when
I was there back in the day Mana Zuma's Revenge,
it sounds like it sounds like he gave you a
ride on Mana Zuma's Revenge. Either that or he had dysentery.
You know the Tennessee trot back in the day.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
My god, you know that lady that was pressuring us
to get into the family restroom, Well she had a
nice surprise when she went in there. They made the
announcement that the park was closing and we had to leave,
and we gave each other a high five.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I remember remember the story, Danny, like a year or
two ago, that Delta flight to Barcelona and they had
a biohazard issue, Like they said, there's like an onboard
emergency because somebody had ship and it ran down the plane.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
Yes, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, it was a ship storm, dude.
I told her when we finally got to the car
and she had to take care of him again. I
mean this went on for a while.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Ben.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
When we finally got out of traffic and got home,
he still had the shits and I looked at her
and you are never feed him. Fried food ever again.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Well till he gets a little older. But but yeah,
I mean, that's a story that you'll tell him when
he's like, you know, getting married or whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Away when you tell a little baby we were not
working for but he had Mona Zuma's revenge and doubt.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Now, look, my girl's not a rookie. Okay.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
She had three kids before him, and she told me
that that is the fastest she has ever seen crap
fly out of a kid. When she says projectile, she
really means it. She said it was like jet fuel
spitting out of a rocket.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
That's great. Your own honeywagon, you know, bring the honeywagon.
That's just wonderful. All right. I did want to mention
the not the Drudge Report, the Grudge Report, and a
buddy of mine sent me this. Now, I used to
love Keith Oberman on Sports Center. He's he's gone off
the deep end. It's awkward. Whatever. I do not listen
(17:59):
to his podcast at all. But a buddy of mine
that I know in the LA media send me this.
He sends me this link. He's like, you got to
hear this, and I'm like, I don't know. I'm not
an Oberman guy. Whatever, but he said, now you got
to listen to this, and I'm all right, fine. So
I had one of my long car rides from the
studio back home. I popped this on my phone. It's
(18:21):
the Oberman Podcast, which I think is an iHeart podcast,
not that it matters. And it's about twenty minutes into
the podcast and Keith Oberman goes on this rant about
Larry Stewart. Now you might not know who Larry Stewart is,
but Larry Stewart was a very influential newspaper writer for
(18:43):
the La Times back starting in the nineteen eighties all
the way through the nineties and the early two thousands,
and in that era before the Internet, it was a
really big deal if you got mentioned in his column.
He was the radio TV columnist for the La Times,
but he covered sports, sports media, and he hated Keith Oberman,
(19:07):
and so he would when Oberman started it in the
eighties as a local TV anchor, he would rip Oberman
and he'd take shots at him on his birthday and holidays.
And I just say, gratuitious, chief shots. I bring this
up because on the podcast Oberman spent twenty two minutes.
(19:30):
I think I might even more than that. I jotted
down twenty two of my notes, twenty two minutes or
so of ripping apart Larry Stewart and talking about how
he had to meet with Bill Dwyer, the editor of
the La Times, and they got apology. He apologized to
him and all this. I just saw Bill Dwyer. He's
retired now at T. J. Simer's a funeral. But it
(19:54):
was just crazy because Larry Stewart was the guy. He
would write about me. He didn't like we did kind
of guy talk sports talk when I started doing local
radio in LA and we were the young hip guys
at night when I started. Now I'm the old guy,
but we were the young, hip guys at night, and
Larry liked that old school boring. I call it the
(20:16):
Mike Francesa sports radio where you just read the box
score and you read numbers and stuff like that. Sure,
you know, and we didn't do that. We did a
version of what I do today. It's more refined than
back then. Obviously I was starting out and I didn't
really know what I was doing. I was just throwing
stuff against the wall. And so he he didn't write
about us that much. He took shots at me. One
(20:37):
time he actually praised me and then misspelled my name.
But it was just wild to me that Keith Oberman,
who had reached the pinnacle of sports broadcasting, did Major
League Baseball for NBC, did the ESPN stuff, all this stuff.
Now he's a political hack, but he held that grudge
so much on a whim on a random day in
(21:00):
twenty twenty four. This goes back to nineteen eighty five.
Do you understand nineteen eighty five, So this is almost
forty years after this happened originally, and he is still
hopping mad at Larry Stewart. I mean, I'm not a
fan of Oberman anymore, but a tip of the cap.
(21:23):
Having that kind of rage after all these years, I mean,
that is just next level. And people say I'm pigheaded
and I'm stubborn. I usually let things go after that
amount of time.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
For Obraman, I guess you can say at least he's
an older guy now, at least he still has his
memory working.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
There's other things that might be going, but yeah, his
memory is still right on spot off. But let's do
the eightium of the week. Of the week this week
is can't hold the Candle?
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Two like.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
For example, I talked yesterday about the Marshaan Lynch podcast
and he's considering a run for the mayor's office in Oakland, allegedly,
which I think is a publicity thing. But the Marshawn
Lynch podcast cannot hold a candle to the fifth hour
with me and Danny g Right, I just can't. So
(22:21):
the phrase can't hold a candle the idiom it obviously
refers to someone who compares very badly to someone who's
better than them, but the phrase actually goes all the
way back to the sixteen hundreds. Now, yesterday on the
Friday Podcast, we did go bananas, and that goes back
(22:43):
to the seventeen hundreds, the Caribbean shipping industry, the maritime industry,
where bananas were bad luck because they spoiled and they
made the other fruit go bad and all that. But
today's idiom goes to the sixteen hundreds. And this is
back when the Apprentice, not the TV show. The Apprentice
(23:04):
is we're expected to hold the candle so that the
person they were learning from, the more experienced craftsmen, were
able to see what they were doing. So you literally
would have to hold the candle an apprentice who was
not even skillful enough to hold the candle, for the
person they were learning from was worthless and could not
(23:25):
hold the candle. You can't hold a candle too. Fill
in the blank, and thus the phrase, and that goes
all the way back to the sixteen hundreds. Can't hold
a candle too is the idiom of the work, the
idiom movie. You would like to submit a request because
(23:45):
you're either too lazy to look it up yourself, or
you just want to hear us talk about it on
the podcast, You are more than welcome to do that.
Send me an email, Danny g as well here. The
email address is Real fifth hour at gmail dot com.
That's Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. And we'll
have a fresh pod tomorrow. I think we'll get out
(24:07):
on that, Danny. Anything you want to promote your college
football team? I mentioned the Oregon Ohio State game is
the game that I'm looking forward to today. But Danning,
you got going on?
Speaker 5 (24:18):
My girl was trying to convince me to take cold
at some pumpkin patch. Why so you can shit all
over everything. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't Yeah,
I'm going to try. I don't know if I'm going
to get away with it. But I'm going to try
to sit on my ass for as many hours as
I can after I produce this fine podcast and just
(24:39):
watch college football.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Good to me. We'll see if I'm successful.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I'm all likely going to be dragged at some point
to Halloween something. I'm not sure what. It's not like
Christmas with the I guess people do decorate for Halloween,
but it's not the same as Christmas with the lights
in all all that stuff. So have a wonderful Saturday
and we'll look back. We've got the mailbag on Sunday,
(25:06):
so we'll be back doing this again tomorrow. Who knew?
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Who knew?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Chi is amazing, all right
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Have a great day later, Skater my folation
Kutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mallor and Danny g Radio and a Happy Saturday to you,
a college football Saturday, Saturday Saturday.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
As I got a bunch of good games today, including
that Ohio State Oregon game, which is the game that
you must watch it. If you don't watch it, you're
a bad human being.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
But I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I got stuff going on today, Danny, you know what
I'm saying, And.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
I mean, I'm gonna try to watch am I watching
it on my phone, but I'm gonna try to check
out some of it.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
Yeah, And of course you and I wake up as
very happy sports fans this morning.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Tatis the last hope for the Padre.
Speaker 6 (01:12):
Brought on the third pick by her mondas the Dodgers
being sent series.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's right, Danny. I never doubted the Dodgers. I knew
they were gonna get it done. I tried to tell everyone,
no one listen to me.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Manny can suck it, Tatis can bite it. All right.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So today is the twelfth day of October. And I
mentioned yesterday not a lot a big Jewish holiday, but
not a lot like of the dope holidays that we
like to talk about. And so this is a back
to back bad holiday days. It is National Costume Swap Day.
You got crickets, Yeah, a little bit, a National Vermont Day,
(02:17):
big day for the Green Mountain State and our friend
Arnie Spaniard. So congratulations, and none of these other days
really really stand out. So we'll just move on from that.
On this podcast, we have Midnight Run, Oh What Fun,
Rocket Waste, the Grudge Report, and the Idiom of the Week.
(02:40):
The Idiom of the Week. We'll get to that later
no breach of mccorm, but we'll start with this. So
I mentioned yesterday on the Friday podcast that I had
slept all day and it was it was one of
those things where you wake up Danny, as I said
on the podcast. It was like the Twilight Zone. I
wasn't really sure where I was, what time it was,
(03:01):
whether I was dead or alive.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
It was that kind of thing. And it's only get
worse because the time change is coming up and then
we're gonna fall back, and so it's gonna suck even more.
So that I know that that's upcoming. But since I
slept all day, I was pretty wide awake late into
the night, and so me and the wife decided, let's
(03:27):
go gamble. What the hell? Why not? So we drove
all the way out to beautiful sand Burdeu. I can't
think of a better place, Danny to spend a Friday
night into a Saturday morning than San Bernardino at yama Bah. Yeah,
but I showed up to Yama Ba, which has a wonderful,
(03:49):
wonderful casino. There's a hotel. I've stayed there a couple
of times, beautiful hotel, amazing property, and at the same time,
Danny a very depressing place, a very pressing place because
the people that are around there. Now, there are some
young people that are gambling, but it's a lot of
people who are even older than I am, and I'm
getting old a lot of people older than me. There's
(04:12):
a lot of people, a fair amount of people that
are missing body parts, that have oxygen, that are not
doing well. They appear to be on the short list
to check into the Pearly Gate Hotel.
Speaker 5 (04:29):
And wait, wait, wait a second, are you telling me
the TV commercials are inaccurate? Well there, Yeah, they show
a bunch of young, glamorous people. That's all you see
on TV.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Yeah, I mean there are some, but if you were
to say per one hundred people, it would be roughly
ninety five people like I just described, maybe two or
three really good looking people and then some others average. So,
but it was a midnight run, Oh what fun. We
didn't arrive there until like eleven, almost mid nine anything.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
It was damn because we're party animals.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah yeah, so we may or may not have gotten
hooked up. We may or may not have a relative
and in law who is a big gambler. And so
we showed up there and had a little bit of
free play. My wife likes the slots and I liked
the fact that it was free play, so I was
on that. And then we had some food. We had
(05:26):
a hookup for food at the nine oh nine, which
is really cool. That's a good food court at Yahma Bah.
I do recommend it. The barbecue place, unfortunately, was closed,
so I didn't get that. But we had a blast
and my wife actually won money. We left with more
money than we spent.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
She won. It wasn't much.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It was like a hundred bucks, but one hundred bucks
is one hundred bucks. I'm not going to turn down
a hundred bucks. And ended up leaving with about one
hundred bucks and got a pretzel. And I don't want
to say this thing was was big. I don't want
to embellish, but it was the size of the state
of New Hampshire. It was awesome, and it was expended
like fifteen bucks. And also got a pizza and some
(06:03):
stuff and so we had a good night and then
we had to make the long trip back to the
Mela mansion. But I thought, overall a relatively fun time.
I did not plan on doing that, but I felt
bad because I had slept the entire day, so we
had to do something. There's not a lot open late
to do. Casinos never close, so I was like, we'll
(06:25):
go out there, let it rip.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
We let it rip.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Had a wonderful time won a little bit of money,
and it's a little dangerous. I can't wait till sports
gambling is legal, not that I it would be wrong, Danny.
If I had someone to put bets in, you should
not do that. But at the same time, it would
just make the experience. Because there's a spot over there
(06:48):
where I know they're going to put a sports book,
but they can't do it because it's not legal yet
at the casinos. And I was told that twenty twenty
five was when it's likely going to happen, but I
haven't heard anything. And here we are in October and
we've only got a few more months to go until
twenty twenty five, So I'm not sure how that's going
to go.
Speaker 4 (07:09):
Going to open when the Animal thunderdomes starts.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yes, yes, your your son co O will be thirty
five years old, give or take by the time that happens.
It's not a rocket chip the gambling sports gambling in California.
It's definitely not that. But is it rocket waste?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Danny?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Is it rocket waste? That's the question.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
It's funny you just a minute ago you used the
term let it rip. Yeah, holy, And I know we
have Bible belt listeners. So I hope I don't offend you,
but holy shit, what a Saturday last weekend our daughter
who just turned fourteen. It was like your wife's birthday, Ben,
It was a birthday month because two weekends prior there
(07:53):
was a sleepover.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
There was a.
Speaker 5 (07:55):
Party with twelve teenage girls fear at the house, which
was very interesting. There was Disneyland for her, and then
the family like her mom and aunts and uncle scheduled
Wayna Park for her because they all have seasoned passes
for nots Berry Farm.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I spent a decent amount of time at knots I
mean I was at Disneyland more because it used to
be cheap to go to Disneyland. Spent some nights, you know,
going around. I'm not a big roller coaster guy, and
knots has a fair amount of roller coasters. When I
was a kid, they had the Camp Snoopy there. They
had the train. They still have the train, right, the
old Western train and all that the gold mining stuff,
(08:37):
and that's cool. Buck Buck Buck chicken chicken. That fried
chicken place is famous Atknotsbury Farm.
Speaker 5 (08:44):
Yeah, famous for the jam. I remember my mom saying,
oh I can't wait to get some raspberry jelly before
I leave.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, they have it right.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Kids were like, jelly, screw you and your jam and.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Now you're at the age day anywhere, like I'd really
like some jelly.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Life comes full circle. So when we arrived Ben, our
daughter convinced us. She told us it's a scary roller coaster,
but you guys can do it. And my better half
an eye. When we got off, both our faces of
shade of green and we both felt carsick. My wife
looked at me and she said, is it because we're
older now? Either that or that ride was invented to
(09:23):
make you feel sick. But not Sparry Farm is a
lot of fun. It's one of the parks left in
southern California that's actually affordable. They obviously have that famous
Not Scary Farm, which, thank god for me. It was
game one of Dodgers Padres, so I wanted to leave
at five pm. Anyways, so they shut the regular park down,
(09:44):
kick everybody out, and then they get everything prepared for
Not Scary Farm and let a whole new crowd in.
We were in one of the shops before they kicked
us out at five pm. It was Elvira, all the
Elvira stuff from over the years. I don't know how
much you know about that actress, but she obviously famous
for that Halloween character.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
That I saw her poop.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
They contracted her to go there every year to not
scary farm cabaret type comedy show.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I did not know that.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah, I didn't know that either. Obviously we grew up
watching her on TV.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
Yeah, my aunt was fully into this, like, oh my god,
I love Alvira, buying all this expensive Alvira stuff in
the shop. Now in her seventies, can't do that show anymore.
But I guess was going to show up to sign autographs.
My wife nudging me like do you smell what I smell?
So we're looking, you know, we're doing the shoe check.
(10:40):
Is it from the restrooms right outside the shop here?
Can't be CoA because you know, he pooped at the
house before we left for the day, and he's won
and done back it up a little bit. Then before
we went to this gift shop, the whole family met
at Johnny Rockets, which is right there inside the park.
(11:00):
Usually for CoA, we feed him a lot of fruit,
a lot of goodness. Try to feed this little kid healthy.
There was nothing on the Johnny Rockets menu to give
him though, so we actually fed him a few French fries.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Has he had fries a lot? Or was this one
of the first times.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
He said, for me, one of the first times he's
double fisted at Johnny Rockets.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
He's got the two.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
You know what this reminds me. It reminds me of
Remember we're old, so we know who Todd Morenovitch is,
the guy over the Raiders, and his dad would not
allow his kid to eat like a big Mac or anything.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
Yeah, we're not going to go overboard like that because
I don't want him growing up to do heroin.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Probably fine until he'll be corrupted once he goes to school,
but you're fine until then he can't.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Yeah, that's what happened to Todd Morenovitch once he got
to college. He was eating Big Macs, going crazy.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Doing all kinds of exotic drugs, allegedly.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
I tell Brenda inside the shop when she's wondering what
this bad odor is, I said, do you think he's
having a bad reaction to all those I mean when
I say all those French fries? He maybe ate a
total of five French fries, but still it's a foreign
food to him.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And she's like, I don't I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
She's got him in that babyholder front backpack where the
kid is up against the mom.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Sure he's asleep, and she does the mom test. She
sticks her hand down into his diaper.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Oh no, what do you think she pulled up when
her fingers came out of the diaper.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Did she become a fan of the Cleveland Browns.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
She looked like she was an official member of the
dog Pound. She had her fingers. Oh no, man, Now
now she's panicking. So I go to the diaper bag,
I get wet ones. It's okay, relax, I will get
it off your fingers. And she's she's hot, stepping.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Like, oh my god.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
We're inside a gift store by the way, with lots
of people in there, so we get get this off
her fingers. We go right outside, thank god. As I mentioned,
the restroom's outside. There's two separate little private family restrooms.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
Both have the red thing on the door. Busy.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Of course, she has to go into the main women's
bathroom and she's in there for a while. So I'm
sitting outside praying don't let this be too much of
a nightmare. She obviously has to wake him up. Comes
out of the bathroom and it is like a scene
from a burning house movie where the people are running
out of the house. She's running out of the bathroom.
(13:33):
The baby is screaming, and she has shit just covered
all over the front of.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Her Oh no, I know where this is going, I think, babe, babe.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
I need help. Be shit everywhere. He has projectile shit.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
He's out of she's out of she's out of baby wipes.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
She used her last diaper. Oh no, he is crying.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Poor guy has just like a little towel. It looks
like a little towel wrapped around his waist. It turned
out it was one of his older baby blankets. I
guess was in the diaper bag. She has that wrapped
around his waist. She sits him down on my lap
and I get him to calm down. As he's sitting
on my lap bend, he peas all over my leg.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Oh that's great.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Oh yeah, great dad moment shower.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You need a shower. And he was trying to help
you out.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Yeah. She goes back inside.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Take two and I get a text saying, oh, my god,
Oh my god, Oh my god, I need help. This
second time she went in, she was able to use
one of those two private family restrooms. So I go
in front of the door and I knock on the
door and I just hear her inside.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
Oh god, oh god.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
She finally, by the way, there's a lady standing outside
this bathroom waiting to take her baby in, sees the
mess we're in, still pressing us to the hurry. My
wife comes out, gives her the evil eye. That's step one,
step two, looks at me and says it's clogged.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
It's clogged.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
She's out of baby wipes, so she is washing his
butt in the sink. As she's doing that, he continues
to projectile shit into the sink.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Wow, this is a poop fest. Now we're at the
next level.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
An invisible shit hose hooked up to him. How could
so much crap come out of a forty pound person.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
And you're saying he only ate five.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
French all he had up to that point at the
park were those French fries. Had to have been the
old oil they used in the French fries. There at
Johnny Rockets.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
There's a ride that would sum up this story at
I think it's still it not spray for me when
I was there back in the day Mana Zuma's Revenge,
it sounds like it sounds like he gave you a
ride on Mana Zuma's Revenge. Either that or he had dysentery.
You know the Tennessee trot back in the day.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
My god, you know that lady that was pressuring us
to get into the family restroom, Well she had a
nice surprise when she went in there. They made the
announcement that the park was closing and we had to leave,
and we gave each other a high five.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
I remember remember the story, Danny, like a year or
two ago, that Delta flight to Barcelona and they had
a biohazard issue, Like they said, there's like an onboard
emergency because somebody had ship and it ran down the plane.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
Yes, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, it was a ship storm, dude.
I told her when we finally got to the car
and she had to take care of him again. I
mean this went on for a while.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
Ben.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
When we finally got out of traffic and got home,
he still had the shits and I looked at her
and you are never feed him. Fried food ever again.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Well till he gets a little older. But but yeah,
I mean, that's a story that you'll tell him when
he's like, you know, getting married or whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Away when you tell a little baby we were not
working for but he had Mona Zuma's revenge and doubt.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Now, look, my girl's not a rookie. Okay.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
She had three kids before him, and she told me
that that is the fastest she has ever seen crap
fly out of a kid. When she says projectile, she
really means it. She said it was like jet fuel
spitting out of a rocket.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
That's great. Your own honeywagon, you know, bring the honeywagon.
That's just wonderful. All right. I did want to mention
the not the Drudge Report, the Grudge Report, and a
buddy of mine sent me this. Now, I used to
love Keith Oberman on Sports Center. He's he's gone off
the deep end. It's awkward. Whatever. I do not listen
(17:59):
to his podcast at all. But a buddy of mine
that I know in the LA media send me this.
He sends me this link. He's like, you got to
hear this, and I'm like, I don't know. I'm not
an Oberman guy. Whatever, but he said, now you got
to listen to this, and I'm all right, fine. So
I had one of my long car rides from the
studio back home. I popped this on my phone. It's
(18:21):
the Oberman Podcast, which I think is an iHeart podcast,
not that it matters. And it's about twenty minutes into
the podcast and Keith Oberman goes on this rant about
Larry Stewart. Now you might not know who Larry Stewart is,
but Larry Stewart was a very influential newspaper writer for
(18:43):
the La Times back starting in the nineteen eighties all
the way through the nineties and the early two thousands,
and in that era before the Internet, it was a
really big deal if you got mentioned in his column.
He was the radio TV columnist for the La Times,
but he covered sports, sports media, and he hated Keith Oberman,
(19:07):
and so he would when Oberman started it in the
eighties as a local TV anchor, he would rip Oberman
and he'd take shots at him on his birthday and holidays.
And I just say, gratuitious, chief shots. I bring this
up because on the podcast Oberman spent twenty two minutes.
(19:30):
I think I might even more than that. I jotted
down twenty two of my notes, twenty two minutes or
so of ripping apart Larry Stewart and talking about how
he had to meet with Bill Dwyer, the editor of
the La Times, and they got apology. He apologized to
him and all this. I just saw Bill Dwyer. He's
retired now at T. J. Simer's a funeral. But it
(19:54):
was just crazy because Larry Stewart was the guy. He
would write about me. He didn't like we did kind
of guy talk sports talk when I started doing local
radio in LA and we were the young hip guys
at night when I started. Now I'm the old guy,
but we were the young, hip guys at night, and
Larry liked that old school boring. I call it the
(20:16):
Mike Francesa sports radio where you just read the box
score and you read numbers and stuff like that. Sure,
you know, and we didn't do that. We did a
version of what I do today. It's more refined than
back then. Obviously I was starting out and I didn't
really know what I was doing. I was just throwing
stuff against the wall. And so he he didn't write
about us that much. He took shots at me. One
(20:37):
time he actually praised me and then misspelled my name.
But it was just wild to me that Keith Oberman,
who had reached the pinnacle of sports broadcasting, did Major
League Baseball for NBC, did the ESPN stuff, all this stuff.
Now he's a political hack, but he held that grudge
so much on a whim on a random day in
(21:00):
twenty twenty four. This goes back to nineteen eighty five.
Do you understand nineteen eighty five, So this is almost
forty years after this happened originally, and he is still
hopping mad at Larry Stewart. I mean, I'm not a
fan of Oberman anymore, but a tip of the cap.
(21:23):
Having that kind of rage after all these years, I mean,
that is just next level. And people say I'm pigheaded
and I'm stubborn. I usually let things go after that
amount of time.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
For Obraman, I guess you can say at least he's
an older guy now, at least he still has his
memory working.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
There's other things that might be going, but yeah, his
memory is still right on spot off. But let's do
the eightium of the week. Of the week this week
is can't hold the Candle?
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Two like.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
For example, I talked yesterday about the Marshaan Lynch podcast
and he's considering a run for the mayor's office in Oakland, allegedly,
which I think is a publicity thing. But the Marshawn
Lynch podcast cannot hold a candle to the fifth hour
with me and Danny g Right, I just can't. So
(22:21):
the phrase can't hold a candle the idiom it obviously
refers to someone who compares very badly to someone who's
better than them, but the phrase actually goes all the
way back to the sixteen hundreds. Now, yesterday on the
Friday Podcast, we did go bananas, and that goes back
(22:43):
to the seventeen hundreds, the Caribbean shipping industry, the maritime industry,
where bananas were bad luck because they spoiled and they
made the other fruit go bad and all that. But
today's idiom goes to the sixteen hundreds. And this is
back when the Apprentice, not the TV show. The Apprentice
(23:04):
is we're expected to hold the candle so that the
person they were learning from, the more experienced craftsmen, were
able to see what they were doing. So you literally
would have to hold the candle an apprentice who was
not even skillful enough to hold the candle, for the
person they were learning from was worthless and could not
(23:25):
hold the candle. You can't hold a candle too. Fill
in the blank, and thus the phrase, and that goes
all the way back to the sixteen hundreds. Can't hold
a candle too is the idiom of the work, the
idiom movie. You would like to submit a request because
(23:45):
you're either too lazy to look it up yourself, or
you just want to hear us talk about it on
the podcast, You are more than welcome to do that.
Send me an email, Danny g as well here. The
email address is Real fifth hour at gmail dot com.
That's Real fifth hour at gmail dot com. And we'll
have a fresh pod tomorrow. I think we'll get out
(24:07):
on that, Danny. Anything you want to promote your college
football team? I mentioned the Oregon Ohio State game is
the game that I'm looking forward to today. But Danning,
you got going on?
Speaker 5 (24:18):
My girl was trying to convince me to take cold
at some pumpkin patch. Why so you can shit all
over everything. I don't want to go anywhere. I don't Yeah,
I'm going to try. I don't know if I'm going
to get away with it. But I'm going to try
to sit on my ass for as many hours as
I can after I produce this fine podcast and just
(24:39):
watch college football.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Good to me. We'll see if I'm successful.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I'm all likely going to be dragged at some point
to Halloween something. I'm not sure what. It's not like
Christmas with the I guess people do decorate for Halloween,
but it's not the same as Christmas with the lights
in all all that stuff. So have a wonderful Saturday
and we'll look back. We've got the mailbag on Sunday,
(25:06):
so we'll be back doing this again tomorrow. Who knew?
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Who knew?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Chi is amazing, all right
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Have a great day later, Skater my folation
Host
Ben Maller
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