April 3, 2021 • 35 mins
The numbers don't lie and now it's time investigate as recent surge stemmed from an unknown phenomenon.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio appo. If
you thought more hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
(00:21):
I think a cast. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now in the air everywhere, back at it
(00:46):
on a Saturday. It is the Fifth Hour Podcast. As
you know, as we are bloviating all over the global
reach the vast power of the I Heart network of podcast.
Wherever you get your podcast, you obviously found the podcast,
but it's it's available everywhere. It's sensory overload with this podcast,
(01:07):
and we are glad to have you. A long yere
a good conversation yesterday with Michael McCarthy. I enjoyed that.
I don't know that you enjoyed that. But as a
sports business nerd observer of the business of sports and media,
I could have done another ninety minutes with Michael McCarthy.
But we are joined now again this week. Somehow there
(01:29):
must be a mistake. This is like several weeks in
a row. He's been here from West of the four
oh five. Yeah, don't love him, you hate him, David,
that's good man, that's uh, that's a really good conversation yesterday.
It was fun. I enjoyed it. I love that kind
of stuff, talking about you know, Al Michael's future, Jim Nance,
(01:50):
whether he actually controls the Masters. These stories are fascinating
to me because I don't control anything, well don't. I
have no power over anything. But these other people that
actually have power in sports media, I am. I'm jealous
and impressed and all of that. And don't forget what
do you even mentioned this to Michael. But we're only
a couple of years removed from Tony Romo having his
knees chopped out from underneath them because of the gambling
(02:13):
and stuff going on in Las Vegas, and you know,
all this stuff is now coming together with the NFL,
Major League Baseball, the NBA, the ANHEL sports gambling, it's
it's no longer taboo. Yeah, and we we also and
you go back and download if you didn't hear the
Friday podcast. But we discussed the obvious Komodo dragon in
(02:36):
the room here that these sports leagues and television are
are side by side, which we've all known, but television
in many respects is beholden to the sports leagues, like
there's this this this odd relationship. And we also got
into the fact that years ago the networks were losing
money and I think they're still losing money on these deals. Um.
(02:58):
Michael disagreed on at things said, it's different now, but
it was an interesting conversation. But but upward and onward, Gagon,
upward and onward. And it's all about us. This is
not a podcast, it's an experience. Uh. We have critically
acclaimed Hardball, Heaven and Pop Quiz, but let's start with us.
(03:21):
We gave last weekend a masterclass in podcasting domination. Podcasting domination. Now,
you know, we have tried over the years, at least
I have tried. We've been doing this for a couple
of years now. I have attempted to present a professional
podcasting and entertaining somewhat entertaining podcasts. I realized the people
(03:42):
are doing crap on the weekends, and you know, the
audience is usually smaller for this because you're you're asking
people to spend part of their their downtime listening to
audio content and usually it's it's it's a tough ask,
but we've done pretty good. We've got a loyal fall
and we thank you for that. But we've tried to
put people on who are upstanding citizens on the podcast.
(04:03):
With the exception of Lenny Dexter, we've tried to put
good people on. And we we went to the dark side, right,
went to the dark side, and we went on the
Highway to Hell, and we had our We had Tim
Donneghee on and he turned out to be podcast bullion.
Uh unbelievable. The the gambling NBA referew, which I wanted
(04:23):
to have on, And I do want to thank a
couple of you guys that reached out and said, hey,
let's get Tim Donnie on the podcast because he'd be
really good. And I was like, well, yeah, I wanted
to talk to him anyway. I'm fascinated by his story
and We had a record number of downloads with the
Tim Donnie podcast. He is a drawing card. Who knew
that Tim Donnie, he had a conversation with him. We're
(04:46):
turned into a big, big, massive audience for us. It's good,
It's real good. I know that, uh you probably didn't
want me, you know, in that same boat with you,
but uh, you know, I feel like, yeah, the highest
are you? Are you taking credit? Well? I'd like to
(05:08):
think that I have a lot to do because dr Evil,
you'r mini me is what you min? I'm a little
bit bigger than mini me. And how about that I'm
not you know not what I hear? Well, it's it's
what you should hear. It's you're being told lies. But anyways,
I I digress as because I know you like to
put on a good show. And you know what I am.
(05:29):
I'm Shrek and you're the donkey. No, I'm Shrek and
you're the dog. You're like, you're like Willow, You're just
a little pack. I'm you're Chuaca. You don't have the chrisma,
very piece that screams right, that that watches your back,
that takes care of you even when you get dropped
in carbonite. I get dropped all the time. I'm buzz
(05:51):
light here, you're Sheriff, You're Wow, you're Genie and Medford.
How about that fucking corpse. This is the last two
of three episodes of the fifth Hour, or the highest
ever in the show's history. In fact, they were so high,
guest Gun, that I was convinced that we had somebody
buying bots to download the podcast. Maybe how that's how,
(06:13):
And I wouldn't be against that, by the way, I
let against people setting up bots to download the podcast.
I don't you know how I feel about the internet,
guest Gun. It's all social media, is all the matrix.
Take the blue pill of the red pill, do whatever
you want there. But I I believe in that. So
why I don't know what happened. There's no tangible reason.
We tried to find the answer why the downloads were
(06:35):
up so high last weekend, and I have a theory. Okay,
My theory is this is that on the on the
heels of the week, we typically do this Friday, Saturday,
and Sunday, as you mentioned, and looking at the two
episodes Fridays with Tim donnihe and then Sunday with the
mail Bag, that there was residual carry over for me
(06:56):
producing your shows Wednesday and Thursday. Doubt in my mind
that ears and oftentimes hearts peak. When I'm on your show.
There's more energy in the building, there's more enthusiasm. You
actually have more content to cover, you have sound duty,
your monologues, and then it all comes together where people
(07:19):
either bitch and moan or they sing my praise and
throw rose pedals at me. So there was residual carry
over from those two days and it was echoed into
the to the podcast. So just to recap for those
whether you admit it or not, for those of you
in the back of the room, the prima Donna is
styling and profiling and taking credits. Yes, the reality is
(07:40):
the to fit out with Ben Mallory is not on
if if I'm not around so here, I am loud
and proud. I know you don't want to give me credit,
Eddie credit, not even I'm I'm impressed that you were
able to show up, show up to work. It's amazing.
Not always. I mean I don't done this with I
mean there are people who don't even work in the
company anymore, that you know sell air conditioners that I've
(08:03):
done this one, Okay. I mean, let's be honest here,
and I'm fine. I'll like, you know, I'm the man
of the people, the people, the only guy that listens
to this content that doesn't roll out of bed and
do his work. And that that is you. You roll
out of bed, you do your work, and you roll
back in the bed. Everyone. I go into a professional
I have to get up, put my clothes on, just
(08:23):
like anyone else, one leg at a time. I gotta
walk down the hall. I gotta make it turn, I
gotta turn all this crap on. And by the way,
it's manual labor. Okay. It takes us like a twenty
minute lag time. When I come into the studio and
I'm ready, you know, I got my lunch pail and
I'm ready to do some talk, some hot talk radio,
(08:43):
and I gotta sit here for twenty minutes. And I'm like,
I'm like Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, you know,
training Daniel wax On wax Off, trying to get the
damn equipment to work, and uh, and then finally I
get enlightenment and it actually works after twenty minutes, is
like hallelujah. But it's chopping. What I'm doing is carrying
water and chopping wood. It's like that old Buddhist saying,
(09:05):
right after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. Before enlightenment, carry water,
chop wood. I am your enlightenment, Ben Mallory. There's a
rejuvenated sense of you and your professional career that you've
gone digital. And it is uh. It is tabulated through
the metric system of Fox Sports Radio, and it is nice.
Though you know you're the white collar guy on the
blue collar guy. It is nice. You know. I've had
(09:26):
a little bit of a break. I've I've done a
lot of the YouTube videos for the company are our
guy has been on vacation, so I haven't had to
do it. So so I can. I can sit there
in my underwear and through the show. His name is Elijah.
Thank you very much for everyone knows Elijah, asshole. Everyone
knows Elijah that they learned of him in the Bible.
Elijah is great, He's wonderful. Listen, how do you spell
(09:48):
Bo Benson's first name? I don't I don't know what asshole.
You don't even know who you work with? B e
au Bo Benson, and I'll worked with you and produced
a episode of the Fifth Hour. He's tight an entire weekend,
the entire weekend go back and he Uh, is that
how you've gone through your professional career? You just looked
(10:11):
down at everyone that doesn't serve you accordingly, like you
spit on them, and then what what? What star here?
Let me tell you something. It's it's a great thing
here for who It's a lesson I learned from my
mom and dad back in the day. You put one
foot in front of the other. You keep your head down,
and you just keep moving right. And all the crap
that goes on around you, like you're not showing up
(10:32):
one weekend or you know, bringing in the air conditioning
salesman when the next weekend. What I just do the show.
And you know, if you want to be here, that's great.
If the other people want to be here, that's wonderful.
And uh and you know we'll have fun about some
people are better than others. But I keep doing the show.
One foot in front of the other, head down, do
(10:53):
your job. I learned that from Bill Belichick. Do your job.
But when you outcasted me to you Bakersfield, you said,
out cash you that was a great you said, you said,
journal everything and life is all about experiences life, It's
all about life, It's all about the story. Well, wouldn't
you agree the story is better to be shared with
people as opposed to buy yourself. I don't know, but
(11:17):
I'm an introver. I don't know about that. That's bullshit.
I'm an introver, I am. I've always been that way.
I'm inward looking. It's because you have content for most
people that you come across. Well, I've been done dirty
by some people over the years. I'm not I'm not
gonna lie to you. I've had some experiences that have
shaped me. Can we address the elephant in the room, Well,
(11:39):
it's the Komodo dragon, Rember I changed that. It's no
longer the elephant in the room. I think Komodo dragons
are very cool. I'd like to go to that island
in Indonesia someday that has like nothing but Komodo dragons.
I think that would be really cool. But required to
get on a plane. You can't touch them though, because
you're like, they got this poisonous google on the Komodo dragons,
like they'll their spit will kill you. Well, can we
(12:02):
acknowledge the fact that one of the most frugal human
beings I know bought a four figure traffic light and
on Instagram. What kind of an asshole are you? What
kind of Oh my gosh, do you want to hear
(12:22):
the backstory on that? Yes, please share that backstory please?
All right. So there's some stuff going on behind the
scenes that I will not get into. But there's some
relocation possibilities that are going to be taking place here.
The Mallard mansion might be on the move soon. So
uh in that process, which I will not get into here. Uh,
there's been a lot of things that me and the
(12:44):
wife have had to do on the weekends to prepare
for that. And she loves going to you know, different
uh antique stores and intiking and that kind of crap,
Like you know, she loves trying to find cool things
that are you know, unique and quirky and all that.
So I'm like, all right, I'll go along whatever. So
(13:05):
we walked in. It was actually on Robertson in Uh
we're in l A h and on Robertson right right
there in your west l A and near by the
way east of the four H five. Want it being
very clear. It was east of the four oh five.
But we walked in on Robertson over there, right near
that Taco bell which I used to stop at back
in the day. Uh and they had a bunch of
(13:28):
random stuff and this, this light, this signal. Just called
out to my wife and she's like, we gotta get there,
and uh so we did. We bought a traffic signal
to hang up in the house. I don't know how
we're gonna hang it. The thing weighs a fucking ton,
but uh, I don't know how you hang something that heavy.
(13:49):
But we'll find a way to hang it up. And
it actually, it actually works. It's a working traffic light.
How freaking nuts is that? To the Mallard mansion into
a frat house. That's what you're doing? Do it? The
thing is, it is a real size traffic light. It's
not it's nuts insanity, it's you know, you can stand
out a little bit, why not not? Unbelie No, I
(14:14):
think it's cool. I think it's neat. But but but
just back to the downloads with with Tim donnahe I
think I told you guess we now need to go
to the dark side, right, we need the criminal underbelly
of sports, and I'm not getting this is not disinformation here.
I'm I'm willing to bring on on a bunch of bandits, miscreants,
(14:36):
unsavory characters, right, I'm fine with that. The desperadoes. Some
would call them human scum. We call them downloading gold. Now,
the only way we will avoid this I will see
what the numbers are this weekend. We obviously don't know
because we're doing the show right now. Uh. But if
the numbers continue to be up and it turns out
it's not because of Tim donahe that the spill over
(14:57):
from that, and that the numbers are still strong, then
we will avoid bringing in the den of inequity here.
We will. We will continue to fight the good fight
here without going to the Gray Bar Hotel about that.
In the process of doing so, you can at least
agree that the guest booking and production has just been tremendous. Like,
(15:21):
you know, there's a term in baseball when you're swinging
up bats. Sometimes the baseball looks like a b B
and you're striking out all the time, and other times
the baseball looks like a beach ball and you can't miss.
Like I am I'm hitting a like a right four fifty,
slugging probably over a thousand. Like I'm in that cleanup
spot for a reason. Ben Maller, Yeah, you know what
(15:41):
you are? You I am the guy. You're you're You're
in yoga and you're doing the downward dog stretches. What
you're doing right now, you're really going out there and
nobody else. By the way, I've never done yoga. I
just like saying downward dog. I think that's a fun
for used to say. Yeah, a little bit sketchy right
(16:02):
downward No, Yeah, that's great for long time. You've done
yoga your West of the four Old five. I've tried
Bickram yoga in Manhattan Beach. Yeah. They raised the temperature
in the room to over a hundred degrees and it's
it's like you're doing yoga and asana. I did it
with women that were a fraction of our size, and
they'd crush it like ninety minutes long. And these women,
(16:24):
I mean, the we're hot, but they were older, and
you get intimidated. I mean there was two guys in there.
Me and one other guy looked like a basketball player.
He was like six seven, six eight and he was lengthy.
I stood in the back the way. Problem is that
in studio is filled with mirrors, so you have no escape.
So if you're out of gas, you tap out. Everyone's
looking at you. Remember gas gun though, it's not the
(16:44):
size of the dog in the fight. It's the size
of the fight. Yeah. That's why. That's why I'm a
perfect compliment to you, because at times you're spineless, you're
sleeping nothing. And uh I had a buddy of my
years ago who hated yoga but did yoga just to
meet women. Uh and would complain about how what he
(17:06):
hated it, but you know, it was a way to
meet women, so he would You know, guys will do
anything to meet the women when you're a single dude.
I mean, he was in better shape than I was,
you know, but that's not hard you know. So, but
I wouldn't call him, I wouldn't confuse him with like
Adonis or anything like that. I would I wouldn't go
(17:28):
go that far, but fair enough. Yeah, anyway, Uh So,
I didn't want to bring up this hard ball heaven things.
So I did a Mallard monologue award winning Mallard monologue
this week about the start of baseball with opening Day
happening back on Thursday. And you know, I went through
all the major leagues and I eliminated twenty three teams.
(17:51):
There was only seven teams that have a chance to
win the World Series. And the Mallar militia. There's a contingent.
There's an arm of the Mallard militia that loved them baseball.
They love them some baseball. Now, it's not a large contingent.
And I I'm sure at some point the bosses will
call me into the office and say, hey, you should
shouldn't be talking about baseball. What are you doing? You're
you're doing old guy radio. But I like baseball. I
(18:12):
talked about it from time to time, not too much.
I still mostly do football and some basketball. But we
did a baseball monologue and people the feedback was really good.
In fact, Robbie, the Mariner fan, he said, how about
a baseball podcast every week or every other week? Do
like a hard oh hardcore baseball poctice Now he recommended
with Roberto, not you. He didn't want you part of
(18:35):
the parties. He wanted Roberto to be part of it
because he doesn't think of you as more like a
baseball guy. He thinks of Roberto is the baseball guy,
and you're not really the baseball guy. I'm I'm a
huge baseball guy. Played baseball in the college. Baseball has
been my one of my first loves. I I was
outcasted by you to go to Bakersfield covering baseball. What
this was great advice. I have a story. I worked
(18:57):
with a story to tell you work cornered, rattlesnake, you had,
you have a story to tell. No, I worked for
the Seattle Mariners class or advanced a affiliate. That's that's
a little odd. That's interesting that he brings that up
because earlier in the week, Um, I had wanted to
call and talk to you and talk to you about
baseball as as a particular subject. And um yeah, no response,
(19:22):
no return phone call. Um still while I was sleeping,
How am I supposed to four o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sleeping. That's bullshit. You're usually awake at eleven or
twelve o'clock Pacific. Yeah. Yeah, un listen, you don't need
to give my my schedule out here, my dirty laundry. Yeah,
I don't think any want to do that. But I
(19:43):
was thinking since this is the Saturday podcast. I was thinking, Hey,
how about we do a test run. Maybe we can
start this next week and give pop Quiz a hole,
you know, do like a no not this week in baseball,
because the problem is we're gonna have to keep this
a little bit kind of not generic. But it's got
to be a little evergreen when you talk about baseball.
(20:05):
Because the podcast, there's a lag time from when we
do the podcast and when it's it's available. We can
play around with it, we can test it out and
if the downloads are good, we can keep it going.
How about that, Well, why can't we go back to YouTube?
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
(20:25):
weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. What do you mean?
That was great? It was interactive check, great graphics check
we could bring in that was all a check. But
the chi ching chiching I didn't get out of that.
You know, I'll point out there was you know, no monetization. Wow,
(20:50):
kind of works like this right, Well, see how that works.
I get, I get, I get a little money at it,
not much. Not so if I got paid what we
should get paid here for people he's dropping in here
and spying on the on the conversation, then it would
be some real money. Yeah, well, I mean I would.
I guess I'm a part of that too, right, So, okay,
(21:13):
he's just writing my coat and you have no shame.
I'm providing a service, am I not? I am doing work,
am I not? You're the Mallard gravy train guy. There's
gonna go on the Mallord gravy train today. There's at
least got to be a home destination, right, Like I'm
I'm buying the dough, I'm buying the pepperoni, I'm buying
(21:33):
the cheese. What's wrong with having a slice? Well, you
do bring a lot of cheese here you doing? What's
what's wrong with bringing that love? And how about this
little constructive criticism, a little tough love. How about be
more relatable to the to the common person. How about
that I'm exatremely relatable. I'm not. I'm younger, I'm hip,
I watch movies, pop cultures. You're proving exactly what I
(21:57):
was saying here. I am. I. I am the person
where if you're a burger flipper, a truck driver, a
hay seed, uh, you know you're an outdoor has been,
a small town hick. You don't even own a gun?
What the hell are you talking about? You don't know
whether I own a gun or not. I just don't
advertise it like you do. How about that? Maybe I
(22:17):
own a ton of guns? How about that gas guh?
I have a hard time believing that. Well, because I'm
such a monster and I'm so much bigger than you.
Why would I need one? Right, I'm a beast over here,
Look at me. I'm a based over here. Jesus. All right, anyway,
let's get the pop quiz. We we are up against it,
as they like to say in the podcast business. So
(22:38):
these are actual random things that I found around the
Internet which I think are interesting, and I am going
to share them with you, and I will quiz gas gun,
and then we will make him look silly, and then
we will give you the answer because he will be
oblivious to many of these answers, and we will enjoy
his ignorance, as he is blind and deaf, to all
of these questions. All right, Uh. New survey asked people
(23:00):
to name the one thing in their home that does
not work, and this was the most common answer. What
is it, I'm gonna say a clock clock, right, primitive
answer by you. That is incorrect. It's incorrect. This is
this does not work at the Mallard mansion. By the way,
(23:20):
this is also broken to the Mallard mansion. It is
an ice maker, yea, the ice maker and the refrigerator.
And I love a nice cool glass of water. I
drink a lot of water, and I like my ice
in my water. But we what I've had to do
is I a couple of years ago, I got those
(23:40):
ice trays because the ice machine stopped working. It's and
and so I just used the ice and the trays.
But you know, you actually burned calaries when you drink
cold water. Yeah, same thing with taking a cold shower.
I don't do cold showers, but I do the cold water.
I like the cold water there. But the ice maker,
that's interesting. It's been over a year, right that it
(24:01):
hasn't worked for me. Yeah. Uh, the ice maker has
been broken for like two years. Yeah, it's been and
we tried to fix it a couple of times. It's
like you go on YouTube and you gotta get like
a blow dryer, and you've got it because there's ice
on the back of the ice maker and you've gotta
it jams the thing up, and so then you you think, well,
(24:21):
why would that matter because it's an ice maker. Shouldn't
there be ice on an ice maker? And no, you
can't have it there because that's a problem. So you
gotta blow the hot air in. But then that you've
got to leave the refrigerator open, so then you expose
the food to the warmness, and then the fridge starts
making sounds and buzzing and all that because it's been
open for too long. And then when you finally get
the ice off the thing, then all your food's expired
(24:43):
and gone bad and starting to smell, and so it's
a bad situation, all right. Moving on, A gambling obsession
is responsible for this food invention. Wait repeat that one
more time. A gambling obsession is responsible for this food invention.
Now this goes back many, many years, but one of
(25:04):
the most popular foods over hundreds of years was actually
invented because of an obsessive gambler. Come on. You should
know this story. Come on, come on, chop top. Yeah,
I don't know pizza. No. Have you ever heard of
the fourth Earl of Sandwich John Montagu? I think it's
(25:28):
how you say the name. But this is in the
seventeen hundreds in England. The guy was such a degenerate gambler. Okay,
the legend has been confirmed by food historians. This guy
was such a lover of gambling. He did not want
to get off the card table. He would spend hours,
this is in the seventeen hundreds gambling my kind of
(25:49):
guy here, and he would he would binge for hours
and hours. But he also wanted to eat, so he
told the house cook, Being the Earl of Sandwich, he
told the house cook to to bring him something he
could eat without getting up from the table, and the
sandwich was born. Now, there is a conspiracy theory that
I read that the Earl of Sandwich had actually gone
(26:10):
to Greece and travel degrees and seeing that they had
kind of a you know, kind of a version of
the sandwich, the Greek version, and he actually advised the
cook to make something like that. But some the great
things we all know, Earl of you don't. But we
most of us know the earl of sandwich story. We
(26:30):
have no idea who the actual person, the peon in
the kitchen, who actually made the sandwich, the first sandwich,
We have no idea who that is. But it was
because of gambling. So if you enjoy sandwiches, you should
thank gamblers. Interesting, all right. A new report says shoplifting
from grocery stores increased last year. The thieves took this
item more than anything else. What is it? Um, you
(26:57):
don't go to Walmart west of the four or five.
You don't go to Walmart. That's true. Below water, bottled water. No,
this is odd to me. I guess it makes sense, though,
raw meat, How would you shoplift that? Though? Yeah, you
put it in a crevice in your body. They're a
nice rip by shove it up. You took us. I
(27:19):
just think with bottled water, you can get the you
get all those the packs, you can put it underneath
the cart and then never just show it to the cashier. Yeah,
I'm surprised there's not tons of shoplifting. I go to
Walmart and they have the self checkout thing, and like,
I know, there's cameras everywhere, but how do they not
(27:41):
like if you're buying something, you know you can buy
two or three items and then sneak a fourth thing. Yeah, well,
don't forget. You can get away with all that stuff
as long as it's less than a certain dollar. Mount
in San Francisco, so or l a with your your
is it your uncle? That's the district the terms no
relation now alright, justin and Cincinnati said, you guys related,
he's a fing idiot. You wanna go you wanna go
(28:05):
on with that? Alright? U. A high school senior created
this piece of artwork. It's part of Americana that you
see nearly every day. A billboard. No, the current design
of the United States flag. A high school senior created
(28:26):
what is our flag? Will be that flag until President
Biden adds what Puerto Rico? And who else is a Cuba?
That DC? There you go DC, Yeah, alright gets canceled allogether. Yeah.
I think we should just like take all of North America.
Should like we could take Canada, Mexico, make it all
(28:46):
part of America. What do you say, guess on the
entire reason? Well, all of hon Doris will make Hondoras
part of America. How about that? Boy, No, I can't
do it. Given enough time, you know what's gonna happen.
Given enough time, we won't be around. But a recent
survey says roughly one in five people keep one of
these at work, but not at home. Only at work,
(29:08):
not at home. What is it? Um? Do do do
do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do don daily planner? All right? No? Uh?
Candy dish candy dish. Interesting. Yeah. When I had my
(29:34):
very brief television career at the fledgling NBC Sports Network,
which is going out of business because they got rid
of me, they had massive piles of candy all over
the NBC Sports building in Stanford, connecticutmongous, humongous battle piles
(29:55):
of candy, right, And I asked one of the senior
producers at NBC. I said, why, I lost a lot
of weight and you are really tempting me here because
I'm sitting around. You know. We had to stay for
the West Coast Games to end and tape the show
and it was a big pain in the ass. And
I said, what what are you doing to me? I'm
gonna get fat again because you've got candy everywhere? And
(30:16):
he explained to me that they did that intentionally because
when people did have to stick around there a long
time and wait for games, it was a lot of
downtime wait for games to end, and so the candy
gave him with sugar rush and kept people away good.
So that's why they had the candy all over the place,
a little snicker bars and all kinds of crampings. And
I did actually gain some weight during that time. Was
(30:37):
double fist and butter fingers. You know, I was going
for it. It was. It was good, all right. Uh,
when I noticed at Fox Sports Radio they do not
leave piles of candy around the building. Now, they don't
leave anything around here. Yeah, when it comes to our
morning routine of us do this smoke a cigarette? Uh? No,
(31:06):
it lay close out the night before. Ever you ever
do that? No? Never, I did. My mind when I
was a kid. My mom would do that when I
was young, But I don't never I've ever done that.
I go in there and like, I have no no
plan as you know, and I'm a pretty good fashion
Easta as you know, guesscount, but I don't really plan
it out. You have a hat and you have pajamas.
(31:27):
That's about the gist of the malory attire during the
work week. Yeah, you don't need to be jealous. There's fine.
Someday maybe you'll become important. Could happen important to certain people,
your parents, I'm sure, all right. A new survey says
nearly one in three adults have not tried a new
(31:49):
one of these products in the last five years. They
just keep using the same product for five years. What
is it? Something associated with the summer? The summer? Um?
What the summer? I don't know. That's be a bathing suit. Okay, now,
(32:16):
I'm happy to report my wife believes in buying new
bathing suits every year. So I don't know, I don't know.
She just like you, you know, you gotta look good
for the summer. Bathing suits are expensive too. Well, my
father in law has a pool, so we spent a
lot of time at his house during the summer and
with my sister in law, you know, the in law
as were hanging out. We all get along. We have
a good time. We have fun, fun under the sun. Yeah,
(32:39):
I'm I'm laying in the pool like a beached you know,
beached whale and uh, you know, doing the whole thing.
So it's fun. Alright, majority of people haven't changed this
in three or more years. What is it? I feel
like you've asked that before. Okay, then you should get
it right right away. I think go. I think what
I said last week was toothbrush is we didn't have
(33:01):
this last um maybe two weeks ago. But um, they
haven't changed it in three or four years, three years,
three years, three or more years? Um, their job. No,
the voicemail message on there, Yeah, you did ask that
last did Yeah. I wasn't listening. Uh, and you didn't
(33:24):
even remember. This makes it you're even You're looking even
worse than I. That's a bad job by you. You
know you said that last week, but you didn't even Oh, Mike,
I wasn't listening. Alright. Let's see a new report says
it takes an average American about four months to finish
one of these What is it? Four months to finish these?
A book? Two? Toothpaste? Wait? Wait, what the hell? You
(33:49):
asked this like you said this last week too. No,
I did not, you did. I did not. I had
a different toothpaste question. But I did not have four
months to finish a two with toothpaste. I had no,
I have no idea until I saw this. How dare
you accuse me of repeating content here? And you're some
(34:10):
of your colleagues are rubbing off on you. All right,
over half of all Americans who sell their home take
these with them when they move. Uh, the house keys,
light bulbs. How fucking cheap are you if you're taking
light bulbs when you move? Come on, it's a joke.
(34:33):
All right, that's it. Guess we got it. We got
the mail bag. Gotta leave a lot of good time
for that Sunday mail bag. So download this podcast, support
our podcast, review our podcast, Tell a friend, We thank you,
We thank you. And even though we have corporate overlords,
this is like the pirate ship. They kind of you know,
they were in the shadows of these parts. So anyway,
(34:55):
have a great Saturday, Enjoy the baseball, the basketball, the
Final Four, the whole thing. We got. We got content
on Easter Sunday Gascon. How about that unbelievable We'll be
back with that. We'll catch you then,
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio appo. If
you thought more hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
(00:21):
I think a cast. He's the last remnants of the
old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads
in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill
poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes, break
free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
starts right now in the air everywhere, back at it
(00:46):
on a Saturday. It is the Fifth Hour Podcast. As
you know, as we are bloviating all over the global
reach the vast power of the I Heart network of podcast.
Wherever you get your podcast, you obviously found the podcast,
but it's it's available everywhere. It's sensory overload with this podcast,
(01:07):
and we are glad to have you. A long yere
a good conversation yesterday with Michael McCarthy. I enjoyed that.
I don't know that you enjoyed that. But as a
sports business nerd observer of the business of sports and media,
I could have done another ninety minutes with Michael McCarthy.
But we are joined now again this week. Somehow there
(01:29):
must be a mistake. This is like several weeks in
a row. He's been here from West of the four
oh five. Yeah, don't love him, you hate him, David,
that's good man, that's uh, that's a really good conversation yesterday.
It was fun. I enjoyed it. I love that kind
of stuff, talking about you know, Al Michael's future, Jim Nance,
(01:50):
whether he actually controls the Masters. These stories are fascinating
to me because I don't control anything, well don't. I
have no power over anything. But these other people that
actually have power in sports media, I am. I'm jealous
and impressed and all of that. And don't forget what
do you even mentioned this to Michael. But we're only
a couple of years removed from Tony Romo having his
knees chopped out from underneath them because of the gambling
(02:13):
and stuff going on in Las Vegas, and you know,
all this stuff is now coming together with the NFL,
Major League Baseball, the NBA, the ANHEL sports gambling, it's
it's no longer taboo. Yeah, and we we also and
you go back and download if you didn't hear the
Friday podcast. But we discussed the obvious Komodo dragon in
(02:36):
the room here that these sports leagues and television are
are side by side, which we've all known, but television
in many respects is beholden to the sports leagues, like
there's this this this odd relationship. And we also got
into the fact that years ago the networks were losing
money and I think they're still losing money on these deals. Um.
(02:58):
Michael disagreed on at things said, it's different now, but
it was an interesting conversation. But but upward and onward, Gagon,
upward and onward. And it's all about us. This is
not a podcast, it's an experience. Uh. We have critically
acclaimed Hardball, Heaven and Pop Quiz, but let's start with us.
(03:21):
We gave last weekend a masterclass in podcasting domination. Podcasting domination. Now,
you know, we have tried over the years, at least
I have tried. We've been doing this for a couple
of years now. I have attempted to present a professional
podcasting and entertaining somewhat entertaining podcasts. I realized the people
(03:42):
are doing crap on the weekends, and you know, the
audience is usually smaller for this because you're you're asking
people to spend part of their their downtime listening to
audio content and usually it's it's it's a tough ask,
but we've done pretty good. We've got a loyal fall
and we thank you for that. But we've tried to
put people on who are upstanding citizens on the podcast.
(04:03):
With the exception of Lenny Dexter, we've tried to put
good people on. And we we went to the dark side, right,
went to the dark side, and we went on the
Highway to Hell, and we had our We had Tim
Donneghee on and he turned out to be podcast bullion.
Uh unbelievable. The the gambling NBA referew, which I wanted
(04:23):
to have on, And I do want to thank a
couple of you guys that reached out and said, hey,
let's get Tim Donnie on the podcast because he'd be
really good. And I was like, well, yeah, I wanted
to talk to him anyway. I'm fascinated by his story
and We had a record number of downloads with the
Tim Donnie podcast. He is a drawing card. Who knew
that Tim Donnie, he had a conversation with him. We're
(04:46):
turned into a big, big, massive audience for us. It's good,
It's real good. I know that, uh you probably didn't
want me, you know, in that same boat with you,
but uh, you know, I feel like, yeah, the highest
are you? Are you taking credit? Well? I'd like to
(05:08):
think that I have a lot to do because dr Evil,
you'r mini me is what you min? I'm a little
bit bigger than mini me. And how about that I'm
not you know not what I hear? Well, it's it's
what you should hear. It's you're being told lies. But anyways,
I I digress as because I know you like to
put on a good show. And you know what I am.
(05:29):
I'm Shrek and you're the donkey. No, I'm Shrek and
you're the dog. You're like, you're like Willow, You're just
a little pack. I'm you're Chuaca. You don't have the chrisma,
very piece that screams right, that that watches your back,
that takes care of you even when you get dropped
in carbonite. I get dropped all the time. I'm buzz
(05:51):
light here, you're Sheriff, You're Wow, you're Genie and Medford.
How about that fucking corpse. This is the last two
of three episodes of the fifth Hour, or the highest
ever in the show's history. In fact, they were so high,
guest Gun, that I was convinced that we had somebody
buying bots to download the podcast. Maybe how that's how,
(06:13):
And I wouldn't be against that, by the way, I
let against people setting up bots to download the podcast.
I don't you know how I feel about the internet,
guest Gun. It's all social media, is all the matrix.
Take the blue pill of the red pill, do whatever
you want there. But I I believe in that. So
why I don't know what happened. There's no tangible reason.
We tried to find the answer why the downloads were
(06:35):
up so high last weekend, and I have a theory. Okay,
My theory is this is that on the on the
heels of the week, we typically do this Friday, Saturday,
and Sunday, as you mentioned, and looking at the two
episodes Fridays with Tim donnihe and then Sunday with the
mail Bag, that there was residual carry over for me
(06:56):
producing your shows Wednesday and Thursday. Doubt in my mind
that ears and oftentimes hearts peak. When I'm on your show.
There's more energy in the building, there's more enthusiasm. You
actually have more content to cover, you have sound duty,
your monologues, and then it all comes together where people
(07:19):
either bitch and moan or they sing my praise and
throw rose pedals at me. So there was residual carry
over from those two days and it was echoed into
the to the podcast. So just to recap for those
whether you admit it or not, for those of you
in the back of the room, the prima Donna is
styling and profiling and taking credits. Yes, the reality is
(07:40):
the to fit out with Ben Mallory is not on
if if I'm not around so here, I am loud
and proud. I know you don't want to give me credit,
Eddie credit, not even I'm I'm impressed that you were
able to show up, show up to work. It's amazing.
Not always. I mean I don't done this with I
mean there are people who don't even work in the
company anymore, that you know sell air conditioners that I've
(08:03):
done this one, Okay. I mean, let's be honest here,
and I'm fine. I'll like, you know, I'm the man
of the people, the people, the only guy that listens
to this content that doesn't roll out of bed and
do his work. And that that is you. You roll
out of bed, you do your work, and you roll
back in the bed. Everyone. I go into a professional
I have to get up, put my clothes on, just
(08:23):
like anyone else, one leg at a time. I gotta
walk down the hall. I gotta make it turn, I
gotta turn all this crap on. And by the way,
it's manual labor. Okay. It takes us like a twenty
minute lag time. When I come into the studio and
I'm ready, you know, I got my lunch pail and
I'm ready to do some talk, some hot talk radio,
(08:43):
and I gotta sit here for twenty minutes. And I'm like,
I'm like Mr Miyagi from the Karate Kid, you know,
training Daniel wax On wax Off, trying to get the
damn equipment to work, and uh, and then finally I
get enlightenment and it actually works after twenty minutes, is
like hallelujah. But it's chopping. What I'm doing is carrying
water and chopping wood. It's like that old Buddhist saying,
(09:05):
right after enlightenment, carry water, chop wood. Before enlightenment, carry water,
chop wood. I am your enlightenment, Ben Mallory. There's a
rejuvenated sense of you and your professional career that you've
gone digital. And it is uh. It is tabulated through
the metric system of Fox Sports Radio, and it is nice.
Though you know you're the white collar guy on the
blue collar guy. It is nice. You know. I've had
(09:26):
a little bit of a break. I've I've done a
lot of the YouTube videos for the company are our
guy has been on vacation, so I haven't had to
do it. So so I can. I can sit there
in my underwear and through the show. His name is Elijah.
Thank you very much for everyone knows Elijah, asshole. Everyone
knows Elijah that they learned of him in the Bible.
Elijah is great, He's wonderful. Listen, how do you spell
(09:48):
Bo Benson's first name? I don't I don't know what asshole.
You don't even know who you work with? B e
au Bo Benson, and I'll worked with you and produced
a episode of the Fifth Hour. He's tight an entire weekend,
the entire weekend go back and he Uh, is that
how you've gone through your professional career? You just looked
(10:11):
down at everyone that doesn't serve you accordingly, like you
spit on them, and then what what? What star here?
Let me tell you something. It's it's a great thing
here for who It's a lesson I learned from my
mom and dad back in the day. You put one
foot in front of the other. You keep your head down,
and you just keep moving right. And all the crap
that goes on around you, like you're not showing up
(10:32):
one weekend or you know, bringing in the air conditioning
salesman when the next weekend. What I just do the show.
And you know, if you want to be here, that's great.
If the other people want to be here, that's wonderful.
And uh and you know we'll have fun about some
people are better than others. But I keep doing the show.
One foot in front of the other, head down, do
(10:53):
your job. I learned that from Bill Belichick. Do your job.
But when you outcasted me to you Bakersfield, you said,
out cash you that was a great you said, you said,
journal everything and life is all about experiences life, It's
all about life, It's all about the story. Well, wouldn't
you agree the story is better to be shared with
people as opposed to buy yourself. I don't know, but
(11:17):
I'm an introver. I don't know about that. That's bullshit.
I'm an introver, I am. I've always been that way.
I'm inward looking. It's because you have content for most
people that you come across. Well, I've been done dirty
by some people over the years. I'm not I'm not
gonna lie to you. I've had some experiences that have
shaped me. Can we address the elephant in the room, Well,
(11:39):
it's the Komodo dragon, Rember I changed that. It's no
longer the elephant in the room. I think Komodo dragons
are very cool. I'd like to go to that island
in Indonesia someday that has like nothing but Komodo dragons.
I think that would be really cool. But required to
get on a plane. You can't touch them though, because
you're like, they got this poisonous google on the Komodo dragons,
like they'll their spit will kill you. Well, can we
(12:02):
acknowledge the fact that one of the most frugal human
beings I know bought a four figure traffic light and
on Instagram. What kind of an asshole are you? What
kind of Oh my gosh, do you want to hear
(12:22):
the backstory on that? Yes, please share that backstory please?
All right. So there's some stuff going on behind the
scenes that I will not get into. But there's some
relocation possibilities that are going to be taking place here.
The Mallard mansion might be on the move soon. So
uh in that process, which I will not get into here. Uh,
there's been a lot of things that me and the
(12:44):
wife have had to do on the weekends to prepare
for that. And she loves going to you know, different
uh antique stores and intiking and that kind of crap,
Like you know, she loves trying to find cool things
that are you know, unique and quirky and all that.
So I'm like, all right, I'll go along whatever. So
(13:05):
we walked in. It was actually on Robertson in Uh
we're in l A h and on Robertson right right
there in your west l A and near by the
way east of the four H five. Want it being
very clear. It was east of the four oh five.
But we walked in on Robertson over there, right near
that Taco bell which I used to stop at back
in the day. Uh and they had a bunch of
(13:28):
random stuff and this, this light, this signal. Just called
out to my wife and she's like, we gotta get there,
and uh so we did. We bought a traffic signal
to hang up in the house. I don't know how
we're gonna hang it. The thing weighs a fucking ton,
but uh, I don't know how you hang something that heavy.
(13:49):
But we'll find a way to hang it up. And
it actually, it actually works. It's a working traffic light.
How freaking nuts is that? To the Mallard mansion into
a frat house. That's what you're doing? Do it? The
thing is, it is a real size traffic light. It's
not it's nuts insanity, it's you know, you can stand
out a little bit, why not not? Unbelie No, I
(14:14):
think it's cool. I think it's neat. But but but
just back to the downloads with with Tim donnahe I
think I told you guess we now need to go
to the dark side, right, we need the criminal underbelly
of sports, and I'm not getting this is not disinformation here.
I'm I'm willing to bring on on a bunch of bandits, miscreants,
(14:36):
unsavory characters, right, I'm fine with that. The desperadoes. Some
would call them human scum. We call them downloading gold. Now,
the only way we will avoid this I will see
what the numbers are this weekend. We obviously don't know
because we're doing the show right now. Uh. But if
the numbers continue to be up and it turns out
it's not because of Tim donahe that the spill over
(14:57):
from that, and that the numbers are still strong, then
we will avoid bringing in the den of inequity here.
We will. We will continue to fight the good fight
here without going to the Gray Bar Hotel about that.
In the process of doing so, you can at least
agree that the guest booking and production has just been tremendous. Like,
(15:21):
you know, there's a term in baseball when you're swinging
up bats. Sometimes the baseball looks like a b B
and you're striking out all the time, and other times
the baseball looks like a beach ball and you can't miss.
Like I am I'm hitting a like a right four fifty,
slugging probably over a thousand. Like I'm in that cleanup
spot for a reason. Ben Maller, Yeah, you know what
(15:41):
you are? You I am the guy. You're you're You're
in yoga and you're doing the downward dog stretches. What
you're doing right now, you're really going out there and
nobody else. By the way, I've never done yoga. I
just like saying downward dog. I think that's a fun
for used to say. Yeah, a little bit sketchy right
(16:02):
downward No, Yeah, that's great for long time. You've done
yoga your West of the four Old five. I've tried
Bickram yoga in Manhattan Beach. Yeah. They raised the temperature
in the room to over a hundred degrees and it's
it's like you're doing yoga and asana. I did it
with women that were a fraction of our size, and
they'd crush it like ninety minutes long. And these women,
(16:24):
I mean, the we're hot, but they were older, and
you get intimidated. I mean there was two guys in there.
Me and one other guy looked like a basketball player.
He was like six seven, six eight and he was lengthy.
I stood in the back the way. Problem is that
in studio is filled with mirrors, so you have no escape.
So if you're out of gas, you tap out. Everyone's
looking at you. Remember gas gun though, it's not the
(16:44):
size of the dog in the fight. It's the size
of the fight. Yeah. That's why. That's why I'm a
perfect compliment to you, because at times you're spineless, you're
sleeping nothing. And uh I had a buddy of my
years ago who hated yoga but did yoga just to
meet women. Uh and would complain about how what he
(17:06):
hated it, but you know, it was a way to
meet women, so he would You know, guys will do
anything to meet the women when you're a single dude.
I mean, he was in better shape than I was,
you know, but that's not hard you know. So, but
I wouldn't call him, I wouldn't confuse him with like
Adonis or anything like that. I would I wouldn't go
(17:28):
go that far, but fair enough. Yeah, anyway, Uh So,
I didn't want to bring up this hard ball heaven things.
So I did a Mallard monologue award winning Mallard monologue
this week about the start of baseball with opening Day
happening back on Thursday. And you know, I went through
all the major leagues and I eliminated twenty three teams.
(17:51):
There was only seven teams that have a chance to
win the World Series. And the Mallar militia. There's a contingent.
There's an arm of the Mallard militia that loved them baseball.
They love them some baseball. Now, it's not a large contingent.
And I I'm sure at some point the bosses will
call me into the office and say, hey, you should
shouldn't be talking about baseball. What are you doing? You're
you're doing old guy radio. But I like baseball. I
(18:12):
talked about it from time to time, not too much.
I still mostly do football and some basketball. But we
did a baseball monologue and people the feedback was really good.
In fact, Robbie, the Mariner fan, he said, how about
a baseball podcast every week or every other week? Do
like a hard oh hardcore baseball poctice Now he recommended
with Roberto, not you. He didn't want you part of
(18:35):
the parties. He wanted Roberto to be part of it
because he doesn't think of you as more like a
baseball guy. He thinks of Roberto is the baseball guy,
and you're not really the baseball guy. I'm I'm a
huge baseball guy. Played baseball in the college. Baseball has
been my one of my first loves. I I was
outcasted by you to go to Bakersfield covering baseball. What
this was great advice. I have a story. I worked
(18:57):
with a story to tell you work cornered, rattlesnake, you had,
you have a story to tell. No, I worked for
the Seattle Mariners class or advanced a affiliate. That's that's
a little odd. That's interesting that he brings that up
because earlier in the week, Um, I had wanted to
call and talk to you and talk to you about
baseball as as a particular subject. And um yeah, no response,
(19:22):
no return phone call. Um still while I was sleeping,
How am I supposed to four o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sleeping. That's bullshit. You're usually awake at eleven or
twelve o'clock Pacific. Yeah. Yeah, un listen, you don't need
to give my my schedule out here, my dirty laundry. Yeah,
I don't think any want to do that. But I
(19:43):
was thinking since this is the Saturday podcast. I was thinking, Hey,
how about we do a test run. Maybe we can
start this next week and give pop Quiz a hole,
you know, do like a no not this week in baseball,
because the problem is we're gonna have to keep this
a little bit kind of not generic. But it's got
to be a little evergreen when you talk about baseball.
(20:05):
Because the podcast, there's a lag time from when we
do the podcast and when it's it's available. We can
play around with it, we can test it out and
if the downloads are good, we can keep it going.
How about that, Well, why can't we go back to YouTube?
Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be
sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show
(20:25):
weekdays at two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio. What do you mean?
That was great? It was interactive check, great graphics check
we could bring in that was all a check. But
the chi ching chiching I didn't get out of that.
You know, I'll point out there was you know, no monetization. Wow,
(20:50):
kind of works like this right, Well, see how that works.
I get, I get, I get a little money at it,
not much. Not so if I got paid what we
should get paid here for people he's dropping in here
and spying on the on the conversation, then it would
be some real money. Yeah, well, I mean I would.
I guess I'm a part of that too, right, So, okay,
(21:13):
he's just writing my coat and you have no shame.
I'm providing a service, am I not? I am doing work,
am I not? You're the Mallard gravy train guy. There's
gonna go on the Mallord gravy train today. There's at
least got to be a home destination, right, Like I'm
I'm buying the dough, I'm buying the pepperoni, I'm buying
(21:33):
the cheese. What's wrong with having a slice? Well, you
do bring a lot of cheese here you doing? What's
what's wrong with bringing that love? And how about this
little constructive criticism, a little tough love. How about be
more relatable to the to the common person. How about
that I'm exatremely relatable. I'm not. I'm younger, I'm hip,
I watch movies, pop cultures. You're proving exactly what I
(21:57):
was saying here. I am. I. I am the person
where if you're a burger flipper, a truck driver, a
hay seed, uh, you know you're an outdoor has been,
a small town hick. You don't even own a gun?
What the hell are you talking about? You don't know
whether I own a gun or not. I just don't
advertise it like you do. How about that? Maybe I
(22:17):
own a ton of guns? How about that gas guh?
I have a hard time believing that. Well, because I'm
such a monster and I'm so much bigger than you.
Why would I need one? Right, I'm a beast over here,
Look at me. I'm a based over here. Jesus. All right, anyway,
let's get the pop quiz. We we are up against it,
as they like to say in the podcast business. So
(22:38):
these are actual random things that I found around the
Internet which I think are interesting, and I am going
to share them with you, and I will quiz gas gun,
and then we will make him look silly, and then
we will give you the answer because he will be
oblivious to many of these answers, and we will enjoy
his ignorance, as he is blind and deaf, to all
of these questions. All right, Uh. New survey asked people
(23:00):
to name the one thing in their home that does
not work, and this was the most common answer. What
is it, I'm gonna say a clock clock, right, primitive
answer by you. That is incorrect. It's incorrect. This is
this does not work at the Mallard mansion. By the way,
(23:20):
this is also broken to the Mallard mansion. It is
an ice maker, yea, the ice maker and the refrigerator.
And I love a nice cool glass of water. I
drink a lot of water, and I like my ice
in my water. But we what I've had to do
is I a couple of years ago, I got those
(23:40):
ice trays because the ice machine stopped working. It's and
and so I just used the ice and the trays.
But you know, you actually burned calaries when you drink
cold water. Yeah, same thing with taking a cold shower.
I don't do cold showers, but I do the cold water.
I like the cold water there. But the ice maker,
that's interesting. It's been over a year, right that it
(24:01):
hasn't worked for me. Yeah. Uh, the ice maker has
been broken for like two years. Yeah, it's been and
we tried to fix it a couple of times. It's
like you go on YouTube and you gotta get like
a blow dryer, and you've got it because there's ice
on the back of the ice maker and you've gotta
it jams the thing up, and so then you you think, well,
(24:21):
why would that matter because it's an ice maker. Shouldn't
there be ice on an ice maker? And no, you
can't have it there because that's a problem. So you
gotta blow the hot air in. But then that you've
got to leave the refrigerator open, so then you expose
the food to the warmness, and then the fridge starts
making sounds and buzzing and all that because it's been
open for too long. And then when you finally get
the ice off the thing, then all your food's expired
(24:43):
and gone bad and starting to smell, and so it's
a bad situation, all right. Moving on, A gambling obsession
is responsible for this food invention. Wait repeat that one
more time. A gambling obsession is responsible for this food invention.
Now this goes back many, many years, but one of
(25:04):
the most popular foods over hundreds of years was actually
invented because of an obsessive gambler. Come on. You should
know this story. Come on, come on, chop top. Yeah,
I don't know pizza. No. Have you ever heard of
the fourth Earl of Sandwich John Montagu? I think it's
(25:28):
how you say the name. But this is in the
seventeen hundreds in England. The guy was such a degenerate gambler. Okay,
the legend has been confirmed by food historians. This guy
was such a lover of gambling. He did not want
to get off the card table. He would spend hours,
this is in the seventeen hundreds gambling my kind of
(25:49):
guy here, and he would he would binge for hours
and hours. But he also wanted to eat, so he
told the house cook, Being the Earl of Sandwich, he
told the house cook to to bring him something he
could eat without getting up from the table, and the
sandwich was born. Now, there is a conspiracy theory that
I read that the Earl of Sandwich had actually gone
(26:10):
to Greece and travel degrees and seeing that they had
kind of a you know, kind of a version of
the sandwich, the Greek version, and he actually advised the
cook to make something like that. But some the great
things we all know, Earl of you don't. But we
most of us know the earl of sandwich story. We
(26:30):
have no idea who the actual person, the peon in
the kitchen, who actually made the sandwich, the first sandwich,
We have no idea who that is. But it was
because of gambling. So if you enjoy sandwiches, you should
thank gamblers. Interesting, all right. A new report says shoplifting
from grocery stores increased last year. The thieves took this
item more than anything else. What is it? Um, you
(26:57):
don't go to Walmart west of the four or five.
You don't go to Walmart. That's true. Below water, bottled water. No,
this is odd to me. I guess it makes sense, though,
raw meat, How would you shoplift that? Though? Yeah, you
put it in a crevice in your body. They're a
nice rip by shove it up. You took us. I
(27:19):
just think with bottled water, you can get the you
get all those the packs, you can put it underneath
the cart and then never just show it to the cashier. Yeah,
I'm surprised there's not tons of shoplifting. I go to
Walmart and they have the self checkout thing, and like,
I know, there's cameras everywhere, but how do they not
(27:41):
like if you're buying something, you know you can buy
two or three items and then sneak a fourth thing. Yeah, well,
don't forget. You can get away with all that stuff
as long as it's less than a certain dollar. Mount
in San Francisco, so or l a with your your
is it your uncle? That's the district the terms no
relation now alright, justin and Cincinnati said, you guys related,
he's a fing idiot. You wanna go you wanna go
(28:05):
on with that? Alright? U. A high school senior created
this piece of artwork. It's part of Americana that you
see nearly every day. A billboard. No, the current design
of the United States flag. A high school senior created
(28:26):
what is our flag? Will be that flag until President
Biden adds what Puerto Rico? And who else is a Cuba?
That DC? There you go DC, Yeah, alright gets canceled allogether. Yeah.
I think we should just like take all of North America.
Should like we could take Canada, Mexico, make it all
(28:46):
part of America. What do you say, guess on the
entire reason? Well, all of hon Doris will make Hondoras
part of America. How about that? Boy, No, I can't
do it. Given enough time, you know what's gonna happen.
Given enough time, we won't be around. But a recent
survey says roughly one in five people keep one of
these at work, but not at home. Only at work,
(29:08):
not at home. What is it? Um? Do do do
do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do don daily planner? All right? No? Uh?
Candy dish candy dish. Interesting. Yeah. When I had my
(29:34):
very brief television career at the fledgling NBC Sports Network,
which is going out of business because they got rid
of me, they had massive piles of candy all over
the NBC Sports building in Stanford, connecticutmongous, humongous battle piles
(29:55):
of candy, right, And I asked one of the senior
producers at NBC. I said, why, I lost a lot
of weight and you are really tempting me here because
I'm sitting around. You know. We had to stay for
the West Coast Games to end and tape the show
and it was a big pain in the ass. And
I said, what what are you doing to me? I'm
gonna get fat again because you've got candy everywhere? And
(30:16):
he explained to me that they did that intentionally because
when people did have to stick around there a long
time and wait for games, it was a lot of
downtime wait for games to end, and so the candy
gave him with sugar rush and kept people away good.
So that's why they had the candy all over the place,
a little snicker bars and all kinds of crampings. And
I did actually gain some weight during that time. Was
(30:37):
double fist and butter fingers. You know, I was going
for it. It was. It was good, all right. Uh,
when I noticed at Fox Sports Radio they do not
leave piles of candy around the building. Now, they don't
leave anything around here. Yeah, when it comes to our
morning routine of us do this smoke a cigarette? Uh? No,
(31:06):
it lay close out the night before. Ever you ever
do that? No? Never, I did. My mind when I
was a kid. My mom would do that when I
was young, But I don't never I've ever done that.
I go in there and like, I have no no
plan as you know, and I'm a pretty good fashion
Easta as you know, guesscount, but I don't really plan
it out. You have a hat and you have pajamas.
(31:27):
That's about the gist of the malory attire during the
work week. Yeah, you don't need to be jealous. There's fine.
Someday maybe you'll become important. Could happen important to certain people,
your parents, I'm sure, all right. A new survey says
nearly one in three adults have not tried a new
(31:49):
one of these products in the last five years. They
just keep using the same product for five years. What
is it? Something associated with the summer? The summer? Um?
What the summer? I don't know. That's be a bathing suit. Okay, now,
(32:16):
I'm happy to report my wife believes in buying new
bathing suits every year. So I don't know, I don't know.
She just like you, you know, you gotta look good
for the summer. Bathing suits are expensive too. Well, my
father in law has a pool, so we spent a
lot of time at his house during the summer and
with my sister in law, you know, the in law
as were hanging out. We all get along. We have
a good time. We have fun, fun under the sun. Yeah,
(32:39):
I'm I'm laying in the pool like a beached you know,
beached whale and uh, you know, doing the whole thing.
So it's fun. Alright, majority of people haven't changed this
in three or more years. What is it? I feel
like you've asked that before. Okay, then you should get
it right right away. I think go. I think what
I said last week was toothbrush is we didn't have
(33:01):
this last um maybe two weeks ago. But um, they
haven't changed it in three or four years, three years,
three years, three or more years? Um, their job. No,
the voicemail message on there, Yeah, you did ask that
last did Yeah. I wasn't listening. Uh, and you didn't
(33:24):
even remember. This makes it you're even You're looking even
worse than I. That's a bad job by you. You
know you said that last week, but you didn't even Oh, Mike,
I wasn't listening. Alright. Let's see a new report says
it takes an average American about four months to finish
one of these What is it? Four months to finish these?
A book? Two? Toothpaste? Wait? Wait, what the hell? You
(33:49):
asked this like you said this last week too. No,
I did not, you did. I did not. I had
a different toothpaste question. But I did not have four
months to finish a two with toothpaste. I had no,
I have no idea until I saw this. How dare
you accuse me of repeating content here? And you're some
(34:10):
of your colleagues are rubbing off on you. All right,
over half of all Americans who sell their home take
these with them when they move. Uh, the house keys,
light bulbs. How fucking cheap are you if you're taking
light bulbs when you move? Come on, it's a joke.
(34:33):
All right, that's it. Guess we got it. We got
the mail bag. Gotta leave a lot of good time
for that Sunday mail bag. So download this podcast, support
our podcast, review our podcast, Tell a friend, We thank you,
We thank you. And even though we have corporate overlords,
this is like the pirate ship. They kind of you know,
they were in the shadows of these parts. So anyway,
(34:55):
have a great Saturday, Enjoy the baseball, the basketball, the
Final Four, the whole thing. We got. We got content
on Easter Sunday Gascon. How about that unbelievable We'll be
back with that. We'll catch you then,
Host
Ben Maller
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