May 15, 2021 • 42 mins
Triggered by an outside influence, Ben goes off the rails because of listener inspired promotion.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboo. If you thought more hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now. That it does. We
are eating the air everywhere. Happy Saturday, another day of podcasting,
no days off, no days off, eight days a week.
This would not be the eight day of the week
(00:44):
that would be on Sunday, but it is Saturday, and
we're glad to have you hanging out with us on
just the lazy mead May type of day as we
are chilling in the magic podcast box, and we thank
you for subscribing and listening and telling of end remember
word of mouth advertising the most important type of advertising
(01:05):
out there. And stepping in across the point of demarcation
from the west of the four oh five area, David
gascon for his own n sound of AFFAFT for cretic embarrassing.
(01:26):
I am I'd like to officially nominate myself as an
expert now in Israeli and Palestinian affairs. Um, I have
are we going third row? Have morphed Ben Mallory over
the last year and a year and a half as
here we go? This is this is you patting yourself
on the back. Have sufferable douchetable I have. I have
(01:50):
morped myself into an expert in Israelian Palestinian affairs. Check
I'm also a virologist. Check, I'm also a constitutional scholar.
I'm a c p A. I'm a political savant. Um,
I know all the nuance that is what is happening
in our world. I mean I have to fit in
with everybody on social media these days. It is just
(02:12):
I mean it's part of the course, right. I'm also
in tune with the social activism and injustices across the world.
And uh, yeah, I'm an expert. But are you a woketivis? Yeah,
I'm not an activist, you're a woke to mcgrifter, Um
everything in there. I'm a victim. Um, we gotta be
(02:33):
a victim. Listen, there is big money in being a victim,
and you get a lot of cloud being a victim,
even if you're not a victim. Saying you're a victim,
get you some cash. It does victims Now all jokes aside. Um,
I am an excellent guest booker. Um, I'm relentless of
my word strong, I'm noble, boyish, charm, I'm noble. You
(03:00):
have twisted reasoning is what you have. That's what you
suffer from you do. Earl was really good yesterday. I
loved the Earl was great. We speak the same language,
me and Earls at all. No, I don't think. I
don't think I've ever met her. I mean maybe I
was at the King's game. He was at somebody's big
hockey fan. We didn't really get into that too much.
But no, I loved I love talking to her. I mean,
(03:23):
Earl were kind of close to the same age, and
we saw our life experiences as kids similar. And he
loved Jim Healy. That's my one of my inspirations to
get in the radio. Do you think Jim Healy radio program?
Do you think Jim would have worked today? Uh? Well,
he would have worked up until a couple of years ago.
(03:43):
Now No, Now, oh you're fat shaming that guy for
what he ate. Yeah, you played the pig sound effects
when the you know, he did, and as Earle pointed out,
I mean knew, he knew everybody. And I learned later
on that, you know, Jim, a lot of his sources
were the radio report orders that became my friends. That
would be the eyes and ears in the press box
(04:04):
and they'd take notes on what what foods were being
served and you know what was going on, you know,
the club house. And Jim he was great because the phrasing,
the phrasing for you know what I'm doing homage again
to Jim Healy who was an inspiration me and the
radio guy. If you didn't hear yesterday's podcast in l
A back in the day. But he'd say is it true,
(04:25):
which is a great way of saying literally anything, And
you're not saying it's true, it just could be true,
Like you know, it's just it's like the plausible deniability.
It's it's a weasel term. Is it true? Dateline Sunset Strip,
Tommy little Sorta. Yeah, I remember when the sort of
was selling spaghetti sauce and like a diet program at
(04:49):
the same time it was he was selling pasta and
a diet program and heally used to have a field
day with that then. But yeah, fun members everone was wonderful.
I gotta go out and see Arle do stand up.
Now that stuff has opened up again, I gotta get
out there. I got a lot of stuff going on
right now behind the scenes at the old Mallard mansion,
so I wan't be able to get out anytime, particularly soon,
(05:12):
but I will. I put that on my list of
things to do this summer. Like I see Earle at
the at the comedy club. I love standup. I used
to go to that. What's that place in Burbank. There's
a comedy club there. I used to go to. It's
a small one, isn't it. Yeah, yeah, but my wife
we went there. The guy from MC Curb Your Enthusiasm,
the Fat Guy. He used to do a gig there
(05:34):
every Sunday night. I think he moved to actually to
do a club in Hollywood now, and I used to love.
We used to go out there. It was fun. So yeah,
Jay Lennard would Jay Lennon would go to the her
Most of Beach comedy Store. He didn't do that anymore.
I don't know if he does, but on Sunday nights
he would go there and roll out all of his
content for the week. Um, I heard somebody told me
that he's still making a killing on corporate gigs. Leno,
(05:55):
is that true? You think he's it's this night show
has been on the air. You know, Ty has been
good in years, and uh, Kimmel's not Jimmy kim who's
the Yeah, what's the guy from Jimmy? Yeah he's terrible. Um,
but but Leno, I heard he's still got a lot
of gigs. Where good for him if that's true, that
he's making cash older there, I believe that. Speaking of which,
(06:17):
I watched Saturday Night Live last week congratulated because of
you and didn't go the way I was hoping. Yeah, no, ship,
it didn't go the way you're hoping. And uh, all right,
I'm in the long game, not the short game, not
in the know. Think of the macro, not the micro boy,
and I don't be obsessed with it. I remember why
(06:38):
I haven't watched that show in a long time. It just,
I mean short, doing sketch comedies really fucking hard. But
it was painfully bad and unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, I have
not watched Saturday and I think I watched. The last
one I watched was when they had I think Eddie
(06:59):
Murphy came back, remember to Hosted. I watched that one
and I was not enthralled. I didn't think, boy, this
is great. You know, this is wonderful. I need to
keep watching this. Yeah, I think it might be an
age thing too, I think, but I generally the comedy
and you're supposed to at least occasionally dabble in the
third rail. Yeah, we like dark comedy. And that was
(07:20):
part of the reason why I wrought Earl on, Like
Earl Earl gets after it and some of the ship
that went on at the roast battles upstairs in the
comedy store. No way you'd have someone videotaping any of that.
But dudes got after guys and girls. And that's what
I love about comedy. And nobody is safe, right, It's
like it's like Game of Thrones, like everyone's expected to
(07:41):
get their head cut off one time or another. And yeah,
comedy is so careful now. I feel like you have
all these boxes you can and you can't check off,
which is unfortunate because it ruins the authenticity of what
these guys are trying to do and what they write out.
And hey, everyone gets offended or something. Nowadays, it's unfortunate. Yeah, yeah,
(08:04):
it was. You know, it was tiptoeing around, right, you know,
I just wanna I don't wanna offend anyone, you know,
walking on eggshells and all that, which is, which is,
which is annoying and um so, yeah, I I agree
with you on that. And uh, I did not see
the Elon Musk episode. I saw some clips online, but
I did not. He was you could tell obviously he's uncomfortable,
(08:27):
he's raw. But I appreciated it that and he got
better as the show went along. I thought like his
opening monologue was okay, but he warmed up, and I
think the audience warmed up to him later on too.
I just you you have those all all those reports
prior to him going live with oh well, certain staffers
are are now permitted to walk away if they don't
want to work and work on the show with Elon
(08:48):
Musk and all that bullshits. Oh yeah, the super woke,
the snowflake Army. I'm gonna go back in their bunker
and cut it off and suck the thumb in their
safe space. The oversensitive eye babies that are out there. Yeah,
it's it's pretty cool, but we do live in the
age of the professionally offended class. You know that's so yeah,
I am offended boy, say, how dare you shame on
(09:12):
you that? Speaking of that, we will have an awesome
guest next week on our Friday edition to speaking. Are
you sure? No? No, I'm good man, I'm I'm good
for seven full innings of shut out ball. Baby, I'm
like Garrett Cole. All right, try to go nine innings.
I try to go to nine. You go seven. I
try to go nine. I'm old school. Did tape record
(09:32):
a lot of stuff in the eighth and ninth in
things from when I here? So yeah, well, actually the shows.
I don't know we're allowed to say this, but I
have not done a live show since. That's true. Now, see,
the CDC came out with a report on Thursday that
said people that are vaccinated don't have to wear a
mask anymore in outdoor and outdoor settings. So does that
mean Ben mallad that you're lazy ass will drive to work? Now?
(09:55):
Does that mean you will actually get up? I'm not vaccinated,
so I don't know. I can't kind of you know,
have you been vaccinating? No? You have not, Well, why
don't you get vaccinating because I'm young, I'm healthy, I'm
strong and a good immune system. My FICO scores at
eight oh seven. I think, by the way, can't you
just say I'm not I'm vaccinated? And then how are
they gonna like, what are they gonna do? Before you
(10:17):
come into the store there, before you go to Trader Joe's,
you gotta show you your car. How's that car like
a driver's license? Yeah, how's that gonna work? Papers peppers? Seriously,
how does that get enforced? I don't know how you
would enforce that. Do you think we have to get
a tattoo now? Like we have been vaccinated? We need
to like they tried that in Germany already. That's a
(10:37):
good idea. There's the things are at a premium these days,
ben gas, lumber, food and bullets. Yes, yes, all the
key things and in life, have you mixed those together?
You get a really good time. All the good time
bring all that side by side. So on this podcast,
not that we've already started obviously, but we have how
(11:00):
Low can You Go? And fakery frauds along with along
with pop quiz and well you've got some other things
as well. But when we start out with the How
low can You Go? And I've been in the radio
business a long time, I guess gan I've had I've
had some interesting things happen. I've met some fascinating people,
(11:22):
some people I didn't like, some feeble weaklings. But something
happened this week that just blew my mind. Am I
gonna name this gutless puke? But somebody, somebody I know,
put a caller up the calling in the show, a
(11:44):
planted caller to try to fish for a compliment. I am.
I'm still shaking. I'm still stunned that someone would have
the hutzpah to deputize, to contaminate, pollute a listener, to
(12:05):
force them to call up and dance around for a compliment.
It really bothered me. Why would someone do that? Do
you think why would someone I'm not saying it's you,
I don't know if you or not, I don't know,
not naming the guilty party, but why do you think
someone would reach out to a listener and plant them
(12:29):
on the show. It certainly doesn't seem like you know
the proper etiquette. Yeah, I can only assume that you're
talking about Brian Finley. And if that's the case, I
think it's for a couple of reasons. One is you
don't acknowledge him a lot. You undermine him at times,
You take unprovoked shots at him, his integrity, his work ethic.
You kind of don't treat him the best that you could. Um.
(12:51):
You dismissed them on numerous occasions. And I think that
you know you we mentioned it we live do you
think it's not Brian Finley? But how do you think like,
how do you think this would work? Like? Like do
you think the this? You know someone in radio barely,
but someone in radio, like, how do you think this?
Do you think that they just have these listeners numbers
(13:12):
on their phone and they're like, Hey, I'd like to
get Bend to compliment me. Well, I could call up
and ask him this question and phrase it this way,
and then he'll he'll have no no other answer than
to compliment me. Exhausting much that life be. You know,
the world that we live in is no longer six
degrees of separation. It's more like three because of social media.
And so you would agree with me that the only
(13:34):
way that certain shows and certain platforms and certain personalities
that are archaic um that have moved platforms from like
terrestrial radio to something else. They need a little bit
of a bump they needed, they need support, they need
grassroots funding, they need grassroots marketing, and they can use
anything at their disposal. And so I think you would
actually agree with me that you're probably more encouraged by
(13:56):
that person's resourcefulness and effort and and longstanding. Where thoughts
you actually go out there and and have other people
promote said products. I don't know. I don't know that
I would use the word promote term, but I would
just think, like, you know, this's just not how I'm wired.
(14:18):
I fight my own battles. I don't deputize people to
fight my battles there. But I would think, like, if
you're someone that would reach out to a listener, a
consumer of the Ben Mather Show, and you know someone
that you you might know I would be aware of
that doesn't normally call the show and then randomly calls
up maybe hides behind the veil of social media, that
(14:38):
that wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb. That's the
first thing. Secondly, UH to think that in that mindset
that this I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
get a listener to call up and again fish for
a compliment. You're as close to the stuff on the toilet,
the back of the toilet and a rest stop on
the Jersey Turnpike is what you are with that? You
(15:01):
are rotten eggs. You smell like farts. About that? Not you,
of course, I'm just in a general sense, not you.
I would not It's not about you. I don't think
I would surely hope it's not you. That would be
very embarrassing if it was you. I think the most
important thing part of this entire discussion is that whoever
the individually you're referring to is. I think it's important
to acknowledge the fact that he or she went directly
(15:23):
to the consumer, not to like outside agencies and looking
for all these handouts and looking for all these like
back slabs and mailing marketing routines. It went right to
the consumer because that is your direct source of consumption,
is the consumer. And I applaud the effort. I actually
commend whoever that might be. It's it's normal, it's important,
(15:46):
and I don't think it should be lost in the
fact that that you have people working hard behind the
scenes um for you, UM and oftentimes it's lost on
you because, as you said, you're your own man. You
don't work with a producer. You don't like working with
your executive producer. You don't like working with a technical
director or an update anchor that rereads scripts from like
seven hours ago. Um, you don't like doing things in
(16:07):
a in a community session, and um you know it's unfortunate,
but uh, you know, whether you like it or not,
you don't pick the people you work with. Um, they well,
I mean it's it's really just a you know, moral thing.
I was really used to fight my own different sixty years.
Oh you learned? Oh are you admitting that you were
the person I'm referring to? Did you just admit that
(16:28):
I did not? I just said you're the way you
phrase that sounded like you're that's an admission. Well, no,
I'm just acknowledging that you looked at a different time
that you brought it up. But I will let the
listener decide the defense. Rest. I think you've just incriminated
yourself right there, guess Scot I believe you have you
snotty nose, cry baby. If you have just you have
just incriminated yourself, and you can hear it unless you
(16:48):
first edit that out of the podcast. No, I don't.
I don't fish for compliments. There's actually a fine promo
that's circulating across I Heart Media and Fox Sports Radio
with you promoting yourself and me working on the far
with Ben Maller. So I don't need any additional that
was written for me. I didn't write that, and there
was a gun to my head to read it. So
water gun, well it, super soaker is a gun you
(17:11):
can drown from a super soaker probably can't be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven pm paciffec. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
and the I Heart Radio app. All right, so we
have fakery, frauds, we got We've got to get to that.
(17:34):
So for a long time, my position on social media
has been rather simple. I have said that social media
is the matrix. Well, now I have empirical evidence data
that that is that is correct, and that we are
all being horn swoggled, bamboozled, and led astray, and that
(17:55):
It really is a case of if you take the
blue pill, the story ends your way, cup in your bed,
you believe whatever you want to believe, right, That's what
Morpheus said in in the Matrix. But if you take
the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And we'll see
how how deep in the rabbit hole we can go.
And we're all hanging out, those of us that dabble
in social media into wonderland that you really do not
(18:18):
know what's real and what is fake. It's all the algorithms,
the box and all that stuff. And I want to
thank a big fan of the Fifth Hour podcast and
also the Ben Mallory Show, our guy, Doug. Doug was
a high for Luten executive in the tech industry back
back and then I think he's retired now, but he
lives in the Northwest. I don't wanta give exact location.
I don't give me trouble um, not that I don't
(18:40):
think he would get in trouble for this, but he
send me this story out of the The Wall Street
Journal somewhat recently, and I wanted to bring up. I
actually saved it for the podcast because it, of course
is confirmation that I'm right. So there's this net neutrality
battle going on, right, FCC net neutrality. There's a proposal,
it's out there and the Federal Communications Commission, uh, whether
(19:05):
or not they should roll back internet regulation. Right. It's
a lot of red tape and and and whatnot, and
we don't need to get into the minutia of that.
But the reason this story is interesting and the reason
I want to talk about it with you right now,
and I think it's very important, is there were let's see,
(19:25):
twenty two million comments, uh that were actually the wait,
hold it made the math on the there's more than millions,
all right, So i'll deal with you. Let's let's pull
out the calculator and let's type away. All right. So, uh,
there were a bunch of applies online about net neutrality
with the FCC, and so the New York Attorney General's
(19:49):
Office went and looked. I think there were twenty two
million comments. All yeah, So I did have the number
of twenty two million comments. I wrote some chicken scratch,
I can't rewever. So two million comments, all right? These
are the bullet points. Twenty two million comments out of
the twenty two The New York Attorney General's Office went
to find out, you know, what is real and what
(20:11):
is not. What are these bots, what are the algorithms,
what are the real actual human beings? And there's ways
you can detect that. So, out of the twenty two
million comments, what percentage of these comments were not legit?
What percentage of these comments were total bullshit? I'm gonna
say nine percent of the comments were not. No, it's
not that high, but you're not far off. Over eighty percent,
(20:33):
over eighty percent of all public comments filed on net
neutrality to the f c C were bullshit. They were
they were bogus. Eighteen million fake comments. That's the number,
eighteen million fake comments, more than eighty percent. There were
only four million legit. About eight point five million of
(20:55):
the fake comments to the f CC derived from a
four point two million dollar camp paying paid for by
someone named broad Band for America, an advocacy group. This
is what I'm talking about, these guests on these lobbyists.
There are what I could right now. I could make
a few phone calls. I could have three million followers.
(21:15):
I'd rather somebody buy me followers, but I'm too cheap.
But there are ways you can. You don't know what's
legit and what's not. We have buddies of ours and radio.
Remember this is a great story who overnight they went
from like two thousand followers to like a hundred two
hundred thousand followers in like two days because they had,
(21:35):
you know, open up the bank account or they figured
out a way to mess you know men and build
these these body accounts you can make millions of Do
remember that documentary I watched on HBO about you know,
there was I think we talked about on this show. Uh,
it was about making someone on Instagram celebrity and how
you know you buy these followers and whatnot what goes
into that. But that's mind buggling. More than eighty percent
(22:00):
of the comments about net neutrality, we're ridiculous. And the
reason that's important, let me tell you why that's important
because these dopey politicians they're older than me. Most of
these politicians, they don't understand. They must be real. This
is what the electorate wants. But no, it's not. It's
what advocacy groups and radicals what they pay for. And
(22:22):
it it goes back to the matrix, right, you know,
what is real and what is not real? Yeah, but
they use this or they use those tools to amplify
and gaslight their audiences because they know that they have
a a wing of whatever social media platform or news
agency will get behind them and preach it as gospel.
(22:45):
All right, don't don't forget that. We had a kid,
a teenager and Nick Sadman who filed and want a
massive lawsuit against CNN for what for what they thought
was of him talking down the elderly man and in
some corner some kind of racism and uh, and all
of a sudden he gets this huge settlement because they
(23:07):
distorted exactly what was going on there. It's the fucking
world we live, and everything is is all manipulated, photos
shopped edited, the videos down, the sound is down, whatever
it is. It's all about manipulating your eyes and fucking
with your feelings. That's all it is. It's a deep fake.
We're all being it. We're all in a deep fake
(23:27):
right now. I had I got into a pretty vocal
argument last week with a colleague here at Fox. Doug All. Yeah.
He he asked me during a segment, and I thought
it was like a throwaway segment, but he asked me
if I was vaccinated, and I said no, why And
he said, well why not? And I said, well, I'm,
(23:47):
you know, a middle aged guy. I'm in good health,
my immune system strong. Um, well why do I need to?
And he's like, well, for the greater good, like you
need to be doing this and that. And I'm like, well, Doug,
are you smoking? Are you drinking? Or you're getting sleep?
Are you really in your stress? Are you traveling? Um?
Are you working out? As your vitamin D levels high
or they low? And it was just this whole thing
(24:08):
about back and forth, back and forth, and I said, hey,
you know, like these vaccines are administered right now for
emergency use only. They're not approved by the FDA. And
he thought they were and I said, no, they're they're not.
We went back and forth on that, and it's like
God forbid you question anything. God forbid. I mean the
box is a perfect example of it. Like you find
(24:30):
out the route, and then you find out where the
money is coming from, and then you find out the
influence and someone's behind it because obviously they want to
push one agenda or another. Well, and the other problem
is how humans are wired. You want to be with
the cool people, right, we all want to be with
the cool people you don't want to be having a
different opinion with it's out of the the main stream.
So yeah, that becomes that becomes a problem. Right. You
(24:54):
wanna you wanna be popular, you want to hang out
with the cool kids and all that stuff, so that
you gotta be careful though. I saw him employee who
wrote a book. I think it was for Apple. I
don't know if you read about this. He wrote a book,
I think, and it was prior to getting hired at Apple,
and someone complained to like there, I think it was
like the chief people officer, and they fired the guy.
(25:15):
Oh is that right? Yeah? I just well, as far
as me, I haven't gotten the vaccine. I probably will
get it, just you know, my wife wants me to
get it. My brother had it. He seems to be
doing all right, so I'll but my brother had the visor. Well,
I'm not against obviously vaccines. I just I think it's
well now that now that they finally said, if you
have the vaccine, you don't have to wear the mask
(25:36):
and all that, right, how do you again, actually said,
how do we How do I prove that? You know?
And that's that sounds like just a bullshit thing. You
can't actually enforce it unenforceable. And that's the thing. It's
either one way or they or another. Like Gottlieb called
me an anti vaccine, I'm like, how the funk are
you getting off like this? On a national show he
name called ad hominem attack exactly, and I'm like, I
told my parents to get the vaccine. I have one
(25:57):
sister who's gotten the vaccine. How the fund gonna get
off telling me that on the National show? I was
but I I even if I eventually get to Bactale,
I don't If you don't want to get it, I
don't think you should be forced to get it. I
don't know, but you are also at the same time, like,
if I, you know, get something illness out of this
and something happens, that's on me, right, it's on you
if you don't get it. You were all grown ups
(26:18):
here and you know you have to pay the pay
the price exactly. That's wow. That's a great story, though,
I um because I mean, two million comments, eighteen million bullshit.
They went into detail and again thanks to dog who
for this U and he knew this was right in
my wheelhouse. This was a batting practice, fastball from Doug
(26:39):
and I I thank him. So there's a Senator Rob
Portman from Ohio. Fourteen thousand messages sent to this guy
were fake, right, total bullshit. Uh and uh it's it's wild.
So you can check that out. Was a Wall Street
Journal story, and they said that investigators found nine point
three million comments supporting net neutrality used fictitious identities, most
(27:02):
submitted by one California college student majoring in computer science.
It's good, it's good. Do you think there's somebody in
the mallam militia that we can get? Yeah? I can't.
I don't think say I want bought fast but but
or I certainly want to pay for them. But you know,
if you can do it, boy, that'd be funny. It
(27:23):
wouldn't be funny if I all of a sudden woke
up and there's like, you know eight You know, I've
been pretty solid around fifty thousand, give or take a
gun up, gone down, whatever, I haven't really I pick
up a few. I lose if we lost a lot
when we uh during the because of the third Rail,
ma man, some of the leftists, Yeah, they got upset
with me, and the snowflakes get upset with they bailed chip.
(27:46):
But but no, that's what I need. That's what I
need in the mallam militia. I need a California college student,
or New York or New Jersey or Massachusetts college student
majoring in computer science to come up with nine point
three millions or whatever. Let's say they said, this is
a nineteen year old student was responsible for seven point
seven million comments generated using websites that create names, he said,
(28:11):
and physical addresses and email addresses. So there you go,
as Paul Harvey would say, now you know the rest
of the story. Remember that. Now. I just tell my
wife this. You know, she loves reading. When we buy
stuff on the internet, look at the reviews on Amazon
or whatever, and see what you know people are saying
and or Yelp to find restaurants. And I'm always like,
(28:33):
I don't I don't know that that's legit or not.
I I am so cynical, oh ye of little faith
that I'm like, well, is that the blue pill or
is that the red pill? I think that's the red pill.
I don't think. I think we're going further down the
rabbit hole on that one. Yeah, alright, what else? Something else?
I wanted to mention before we get the pop quiz. Uh.
(28:54):
There was a somewhat recent poll from this came from
the Center for American Political Studies at Harvard University and
the Harris Pool and it revealed that six of Americans
believe that cancel culture, you know, the the boycotting, pressuring,
etcetera of people for their past or current verbal statements
(29:18):
UH is a threat to their freedom. And seven agree
that there is a problem of very importance, but no
one's doing anything about it. So I thought that was
it was a problem, but you know, everyone's kind of like, yeah,
it's and on the side of the right, I mean,
what are you supposed to do it? Though? Right? How
(29:39):
do you stop? You can't really stop it. You can,
but it comes with consequences, and there's not a lot
of people that can do it with reckless abandoned or
have either a safety net or do it with a parachute.
Like like a guy like um, he's come on the show,
Leo Terrell. He's he's a Democrat, he's a liberal, but
(30:03):
he's called out ship that he completely disagrees with. But
I think in today's world, because he's older and because
he's an attorney, he can get away with a lot
of those things, whereas if the individual is younger, and
I also think if the individual is younger and white,
(30:23):
no chance. Yeah. Well Leo, like but Leo gets called
out to like you know, and I he he he's
talked about this, but he's being canceled though. No. But
when you're a black guy and you're you know, you're
out out there, Oh, you shouldn't be doing that, you know, like, well,
you come on ridiculous. Yeah, but I mean you can't
have any you can't have any other thoughts other than
(30:45):
the group thinking. I mean no, I mean, look at
what's her name, J. K Rowling's right, Like, she's talked
about sexual orientation and gender assignments, and god forbid you
get all these fucking groups that try to cancel her.
It's like, you know, fuck you. That's let's get yeah,
(31:05):
let's get do a little pop quiz here, then we
gotta get out of here. Getting the mail Bag podcast,
which is my favorite podcast. I wonder what I love
the mail Bag podcast. What what would you go a
little slab knob nob? I don't know, it's it's you
never know what you're gonna get it back. I just
open up the letters. There's no need for a viscal
reaction from you. It's you don't know. Maybe there'll be
(31:27):
some nice people. Yeah, I know you. You're very friendly.
I hear with some of the callers. Maybe they'll right
friend of of a lot of colors. That's what I hear,
all right, pop quiz things I found around the internet.
I thought we're interesting, and we'll ask gascon, but we're
really asking you, and here we go. According to a
(31:47):
new survey, couples are both happier and more stable if
the man in the relationship takes care of this specific
household task what is it cleaning? Well, yes, but one
specific bathroom. No, And that is why that I am
(32:08):
in a happy relationship and a stable relationship. Guest gunt,
I am the dishwasher, and I am not just a
fucking dishwasher. I'm the greatest goddamn dishwasher you could possibly
Because you buy paper play, it's still given that. No. No,
I am an expert. I know that that dishwasher is
not like the you know, some cartoon from back in
the day where you put everything in there and it
(32:28):
was covered with with pasta sauce and it just washes
it off. No, you you have to properly wash off
the dishes. Uh, and you have to scrub the dishes
once in the sink. And then the dishwasher is the
final nuclear option where it makes everything pure again. But
I'm gonna actually, I'm telling you when this radio thing
(32:49):
in this podcast and I'm going into professional dishwashing. I
want an industrial dishwasher, is what I want. You're laughing,
but I I would be a really good dish washer. Yeah.
A thirty nine billion dollars a year is spent on
this in America, thirty nine billion. And if you don't
(33:10):
do it this particular thing, you know, I spend the
money on this, people get very upset. I was gonna
say tires um. They get really upset um flu shots. No, No,
the answer is tipping. Oh are you? Are you good tipper?
(33:32):
I am an adequate tipper. I don't have to be
a good tipper because no one knows who I am.
But I'm an adequate tipper. So what I do is
I have an app on my phone. I'm the guy
that pulls up the do it. I do it salth
is what I man. You're fucking lame. No, I do
(33:53):
it looks like I'm sending a text message, but I'm
actually putting the app on to see what the bill is.
Now I'm gonna know for future reference. What is that?
What do you What do you mean? That means if
we're going out somewhere, I'm gonna look at you as
you're doing your bullshit tipping? Why I just calculate if
the server is good in fifteen or ten percent? Well,
but then there's there's like, well is it before tax
(34:15):
or after tax? Right? Grows? I do the growth? Some
some people say, well, let's not include the tax, because
that's the different. It's only about the price of the meal.
Now do you pay cash or do you you card
for tip? Well, like everyone else, most of it's just
credit card. Just filling out the receipt. You're signing your
name and so you have to put the dollar amount
and that's it. Yeah. Uh, let's see your page down,
(34:40):
page down. All right. It is sad, but more than
fifty percent of Americans say that we have been We've
not been able to do this in in a year.
What is it? Hug our friends? No, actually make a
new friend? Oh, no, new friend like fake friends on
(35:01):
the internet, real real wife, I've met some new friends. Yeah,
that's what I hear. You want to name the friends? Yeah,
I mean I got a lot of them. I started
using Clubhouse, got pretty active on there. It was bouncing
around a bunch of the rooms, and met some fine
people in the film and entertainment industry. Nobody, you know,
(35:23):
but yeah, someone is that it's like a spinoff of
Grinder Clubhouse Is that? No, No, it's it's a spinoff
of like Lincoln. Okay, I got you. Yeah, we we
have some friends that we met in Las Vegas. Yeah
we did, that's true. We did. Look at you always
negative Nancy with your bullshit tipping and your bullshit connectivity.
(35:46):
Doom and gloom from Ben Mallory of people said they
have not made a new friend a year. How many
people do you think are actually good with that? Though? Yeah, mom,
most people aren't that over social. So yeah, most people are. Uh,
they're they're okay with six out of ten adults do
(36:07):
this every day? What is it? God loved them for
doing this? Loss? Now, listen to the radio. To the radio.
Sixty percent of all adults, I'm according to a well,
only when you're on nobody listens. According to a News survey.
That's the According a new survey, thirty six percent of
people admit they've lied to get out of doing this
(36:29):
type of event. What is it light at doing this
to get out of doing something? Um, going to a wedding? Correct?
What's up? Look at that? I don't want to go
to the wedding. Yeah, but then you still got to
buy the gift. No, you don't funk that. There's actually
a colleague here that invited us to or invited me
(36:51):
to a wedding and I had to go take a
trip to go to the wedding, and I was like, ah,
I don't want to do that. And then I didn't
buy a gift. Dude got div worsd within a year.
Is that right? Yeah? I was like, fucking thank god
I didn't waste my time and money on that day.
I think I was at that wedding. Actually I think
that you were. I think I was. I was at
a wedding. Someone I used to work with got married
(37:13):
and who was it? Wow the person? But they got divorced.
They're married again now, but they got divorced, and uh,
it was a big wedding and bought a gift and
the whole thing and took photos and didn't last. I
went to Jonas's wedding. That was a lot of fun.
Did I go to that one? On that one? Yeah,
(37:34):
you were at that one? What the hell you're talking about?
I was there. The buffet they did. Jonas was a rebel.
They had a buffet when everyone's a noble face his
brother's restaurant, and uh, pretty good. I like it was
my kind of food. Yeah, for eight year old that
it was right. I loved it. It was great. New
(37:56):
survey asked mothers if they still do this or you know,
take care of anything for their adult children. Of mothers
said they still do this for their adult children. What
is laundry? That's correct? Two for two? What's up? Look
at that? Um yeah, my my mom. May she rest
in peace, but she she did my laundry for for
(38:16):
a long time. I'd like, drive my laundry. I was
so so terrible. I take my laundry from l A,
drive it down to Orange County through the laundry and
then uh then head back. So yeah. Uh. A record
price for this item, which is found in many kitchens,
is sixty one hundred dollars. This in the kitchen, um
(38:40):
an oven. No, a cookie jar? What you know those
weird cookie jars that are shaped like cartoon heads and
stuff like that. Yeah, what the wait? Sixty dollars? That
is correct? Oh my gosh, yeah it didn't that one ful?
(39:00):
That's awful, Yeah, exactly. According to a recent survey, the
number one thing we do on our smart phones is text.
What is number two? Look at porn? Well, for you,
that is correct, but for the rest of us it's
check email, which might be the same thing because you
might be getting porn in your email from what I'm hearing,
but I don't know's yeah, uh, let's hear. One third
(39:24):
of adults claim they have never done this on social media.
Looked at porn? Yeah? Someone now look up an X. Yeah,
everyone does. I think they're lining the one third of line.
How about that? Everyone's curious, right, whether you're successful, you
want to look at the people that weren't successful, or
(39:44):
if you're not successful, you're like, you're crue whatever happened
to that that person is successful? That kind. Some psychologists
say that this is the most revealing place they can
look at to learn about a person, like look at
their person or you mean, like to to look to
(40:05):
learn about a person, like what you're made of, what
you're all about? Who you are? Their car? No, you're
junk drawer. Oh interesting? Do you have a drunk drawer?
I? I I do, well, not right now, but like, is
it a chaster or is it like it's just a
drawer in a there's other drawers, but I have one
(40:25):
particular drawer that the junk drawer, and I have that's
where I keep my rubber bands, my superglue, old keys.
That's some of the things that are in the junk drawer.
I probably have some of those in there. I have
some random flask you know what I what I should
(40:46):
send out and and Earl would be impressed by this.
I have a listener sent me this years ago. It's
a Jim Healy ashtray and it's got all of Jim
Healy's phrases on it. It's one of my most pride possessions,
is it because it's I believe the only piece of
Jim Heely memorabilia that was ever made. The radio guy
(41:06):
and I hold onto this thing near and dear. It's awesome.
Is it white or is it clear with black print
on it? No, it's white and it's got it's uh,
it says, hold on us, let me turning the light.
Here it says, and they said it was impossible. The
world's first one half hour sports commentary Jim Healy k
m PC. And then it has all the phrases that's good. Yeah,
(41:30):
it's pretty good. Thank you, Jim, Double take department. Is
it true? It's my job, Bruce, and it goes through
all those things say what Yeah, So I love that.
Pretty cool, Pretty pretty cool. We gotta get out of here, guests,
and we got the Mailback podcast coming up right around
the corner on Sunday. Have a great Saturday. Remember tell
(41:51):
a friend about the podcast. If you missed Friday's podcast
with Earl the Great Comedian, there you can check that out.
Tell a friend, Tell a friend, We'll catch you next time.
Be sure to live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports
(42:11):
Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Kaboo. If you thought more hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic a sole fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse to clearing house of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Maller starts right now. That it does. We
are eating the air everywhere. Happy Saturday, another day of podcasting,
no days off, no days off, eight days a week.
This would not be the eight day of the week
(00:44):
that would be on Sunday, but it is Saturday, and
we're glad to have you hanging out with us on
just the lazy mead May type of day as we
are chilling in the magic podcast box, and we thank
you for subscribing and listening and telling of end remember
word of mouth advertising the most important type of advertising
(01:05):
out there. And stepping in across the point of demarcation
from the west of the four oh five area, David
gascon for his own n sound of AFFAFT for cretic embarrassing.
(01:26):
I am I'd like to officially nominate myself as an
expert now in Israeli and Palestinian affairs. Um, I have
are we going third row? Have morphed Ben Mallory over
the last year and a year and a half as
here we go? This is this is you patting yourself
on the back. Have sufferable douchetable I have. I have
(01:50):
morped myself into an expert in Israelian Palestinian affairs. Check
I'm also a virologist. Check, I'm also a constitutional scholar.
I'm a c p A. I'm a political savant. Um,
I know all the nuance that is what is happening
in our world. I mean I have to fit in
with everybody on social media these days. It is just
(02:12):
I mean it's part of the course, right. I'm also
in tune with the social activism and injustices across the world.
And uh, yeah, I'm an expert. But are you a woketivis? Yeah,
I'm not an activist, you're a woke to mcgrifter, Um
everything in there. I'm a victim. Um, we gotta be
(02:33):
a victim. Listen, there is big money in being a victim,
and you get a lot of cloud being a victim,
even if you're not a victim. Saying you're a victim,
get you some cash. It does victims Now all jokes aside. Um,
I am an excellent guest booker. Um, I'm relentless of
my word strong, I'm noble, boyish, charm, I'm noble. You
(03:00):
have twisted reasoning is what you have. That's what you
suffer from you do. Earl was really good yesterday. I
loved the Earl was great. We speak the same language,
me and Earls at all. No, I don't think. I
don't think I've ever met her. I mean maybe I
was at the King's game. He was at somebody's big
hockey fan. We didn't really get into that too much.
But no, I loved I love talking to her. I mean,
(03:23):
Earl were kind of close to the same age, and
we saw our life experiences as kids similar. And he
loved Jim Healy. That's my one of my inspirations to
get in the radio. Do you think Jim Healy radio program?
Do you think Jim would have worked today? Uh? Well,
he would have worked up until a couple of years ago.
(03:43):
Now No, Now, oh you're fat shaming that guy for
what he ate. Yeah, you played the pig sound effects
when the you know, he did, and as Earle pointed out,
I mean knew, he knew everybody. And I learned later
on that, you know, Jim, a lot of his sources
were the radio report orders that became my friends. That
would be the eyes and ears in the press box
(04:04):
and they'd take notes on what what foods were being
served and you know what was going on, you know,
the club house. And Jim he was great because the phrasing,
the phrasing for you know what I'm doing homage again
to Jim Healy who was an inspiration me and the
radio guy. If you didn't hear yesterday's podcast in l
A back in the day. But he'd say is it true,
(04:25):
which is a great way of saying literally anything, And
you're not saying it's true, it just could be true,
Like you know, it's just it's like the plausible deniability.
It's it's a weasel term. Is it true? Dateline Sunset Strip,
Tommy little Sorta. Yeah, I remember when the sort of
was selling spaghetti sauce and like a diet program at
(04:49):
the same time it was he was selling pasta and
a diet program and heally used to have a field
day with that then. But yeah, fun members everone was wonderful.
I gotta go out and see Arle do stand up.
Now that stuff has opened up again, I gotta get
out there. I got a lot of stuff going on
right now behind the scenes at the old Mallard mansion,
so I wan't be able to get out anytime, particularly soon,
(05:12):
but I will. I put that on my list of
things to do this summer. Like I see Earle at
the at the comedy club. I love standup. I used
to go to that. What's that place in Burbank. There's
a comedy club there. I used to go to. It's
a small one, isn't it. Yeah, yeah, but my wife
we went there. The guy from MC Curb Your Enthusiasm,
the Fat Guy. He used to do a gig there
(05:34):
every Sunday night. I think he moved to actually to
do a club in Hollywood now, and I used to love.
We used to go out there. It was fun. So yeah,
Jay Lennard would Jay Lennon would go to the her
Most of Beach comedy Store. He didn't do that anymore.
I don't know if he does, but on Sunday nights
he would go there and roll out all of his
content for the week. Um, I heard somebody told me
that he's still making a killing on corporate gigs. Leno,
(05:55):
is that true? You think he's it's this night show
has been on the air. You know, Ty has been
good in years, and uh, Kimmel's not Jimmy kim who's
the Yeah, what's the guy from Jimmy? Yeah he's terrible. Um,
but but Leno, I heard he's still got a lot
of gigs. Where good for him if that's true, that
he's making cash older there, I believe that. Speaking of which,
(06:17):
I watched Saturday Night Live last week congratulated because of
you and didn't go the way I was hoping. Yeah, no, ship,
it didn't go the way you're hoping. And uh, all right,
I'm in the long game, not the short game, not
in the know. Think of the macro, not the micro boy,
and I don't be obsessed with it. I remember why
(06:38):
I haven't watched that show in a long time. It just,
I mean short, doing sketch comedies really fucking hard. But
it was painfully bad and unfortunately. Yeah, yeah, I have
not watched Saturday and I think I watched. The last
one I watched was when they had I think Eddie
(06:59):
Murphy came back, remember to Hosted. I watched that one
and I was not enthralled. I didn't think, boy, this
is great. You know, this is wonderful. I need to
keep watching this. Yeah, I think it might be an
age thing too, I think, but I generally the comedy
and you're supposed to at least occasionally dabble in the
third rail. Yeah, we like dark comedy. And that was
(07:20):
part of the reason why I wrought Earl on, Like
Earl Earl gets after it and some of the ship
that went on at the roast battles upstairs in the
comedy store. No way you'd have someone videotaping any of that.
But dudes got after guys and girls. And that's what
I love about comedy. And nobody is safe, right, It's
like it's like Game of Thrones, like everyone's expected to
(07:41):
get their head cut off one time or another. And yeah,
comedy is so careful now. I feel like you have
all these boxes you can and you can't check off,
which is unfortunate because it ruins the authenticity of what
these guys are trying to do and what they write out.
And hey, everyone gets offended or something. Nowadays, it's unfortunate. Yeah, yeah,
(08:04):
it was. You know, it was tiptoeing around, right, you know,
I just wanna I don't wanna offend anyone, you know,
walking on eggshells and all that, which is, which is,
which is annoying and um so, yeah, I I agree
with you on that. And uh, I did not see
the Elon Musk episode. I saw some clips online, but
I did not. He was you could tell obviously he's uncomfortable,
(08:27):
he's raw. But I appreciated it that and he got
better as the show went along. I thought like his
opening monologue was okay, but he warmed up, and I
think the audience warmed up to him later on too.
I just you you have those all all those reports
prior to him going live with oh well, certain staffers
are are now permitted to walk away if they don't
want to work and work on the show with Elon
(08:48):
Musk and all that bullshits. Oh yeah, the super woke,
the snowflake Army. I'm gonna go back in their bunker
and cut it off and suck the thumb in their
safe space. The oversensitive eye babies that are out there. Yeah,
it's it's pretty cool, but we do live in the
age of the professionally offended class. You know that's so yeah,
I am offended boy, say, how dare you shame on
(09:12):
you that? Speaking of that, we will have an awesome
guest next week on our Friday edition to speaking. Are
you sure? No? No, I'm good man, I'm I'm good
for seven full innings of shut out ball. Baby, I'm
like Garrett Cole. All right, try to go nine innings.
I try to go to nine. You go seven. I
try to go nine. I'm old school. Did tape record
(09:32):
a lot of stuff in the eighth and ninth in
things from when I here? So yeah, well, actually the shows.
I don't know we're allowed to say this, but I
have not done a live show since. That's true. Now, see,
the CDC came out with a report on Thursday that
said people that are vaccinated don't have to wear a
mask anymore in outdoor and outdoor settings. So does that
mean Ben mallad that you're lazy ass will drive to work? Now?
(09:55):
Does that mean you will actually get up? I'm not vaccinated,
so I don't know. I can't kind of you know,
have you been vaccinating? No? You have not, Well, why
don't you get vaccinating because I'm young, I'm healthy, I'm
strong and a good immune system. My FICO scores at
eight oh seven. I think, by the way, can't you
just say I'm not I'm vaccinated? And then how are
they gonna like, what are they gonna do? Before you
(10:17):
come into the store there, before you go to Trader Joe's,
you gotta show you your car. How's that car like
a driver's license? Yeah, how's that gonna work? Papers peppers? Seriously,
how does that get enforced? I don't know how you
would enforce that. Do you think we have to get
a tattoo now? Like we have been vaccinated? We need
to like they tried that in Germany already. That's a
(10:37):
good idea. There's the things are at a premium these days,
ben gas, lumber, food and bullets. Yes, yes, all the
key things and in life, have you mixed those together?
You get a really good time. All the good time
bring all that side by side. So on this podcast,
not that we've already started obviously, but we have how
(11:00):
Low can You Go? And fakery frauds along with along
with pop quiz and well you've got some other things
as well. But when we start out with the How
low can You Go? And I've been in the radio
business a long time, I guess gan I've had I've
had some interesting things happen. I've met some fascinating people,
(11:22):
some people I didn't like, some feeble weaklings. But something
happened this week that just blew my mind. Am I
gonna name this gutless puke? But somebody, somebody I know,
put a caller up the calling in the show, a
(11:44):
planted caller to try to fish for a compliment. I am.
I'm still shaking. I'm still stunned that someone would have
the hutzpah to deputize, to contaminate, pollute a listener, to
(12:05):
force them to call up and dance around for a compliment.
It really bothered me. Why would someone do that? Do
you think why would someone I'm not saying it's you,
I don't know if you or not, I don't know,
not naming the guilty party, but why do you think
someone would reach out to a listener and plant them
(12:29):
on the show. It certainly doesn't seem like you know
the proper etiquette. Yeah, I can only assume that you're
talking about Brian Finley. And if that's the case, I
think it's for a couple of reasons. One is you
don't acknowledge him a lot. You undermine him at times,
You take unprovoked shots at him, his integrity, his work ethic.
You kind of don't treat him the best that you could. Um.
(12:51):
You dismissed them on numerous occasions. And I think that
you know you we mentioned it we live do you
think it's not Brian Finley? But how do you think like,
how do you think this would work? Like? Like do
you think the this? You know someone in radio barely,
but someone in radio, like, how do you think this?
Do you think that they just have these listeners numbers
(13:12):
on their phone and they're like, Hey, I'd like to
get Bend to compliment me. Well, I could call up
and ask him this question and phrase it this way,
and then he'll he'll have no no other answer than
to compliment me. Exhausting much that life be. You know,
the world that we live in is no longer six
degrees of separation. It's more like three because of social media.
And so you would agree with me that the only
(13:34):
way that certain shows and certain platforms and certain personalities
that are archaic um that have moved platforms from like
terrestrial radio to something else. They need a little bit
of a bump they needed, they need support, they need
grassroots funding, they need grassroots marketing, and they can use
anything at their disposal. And so I think you would
actually agree with me that you're probably more encouraged by
(13:56):
that person's resourcefulness and effort and and longstanding. Where thoughts
you actually go out there and and have other people
promote said products. I don't know. I don't know that
I would use the word promote term, but I would
just think, like, you know, this's just not how I'm wired.
(14:18):
I fight my own battles. I don't deputize people to
fight my battles there. But I would think, like, if
you're someone that would reach out to a listener, a
consumer of the Ben Mather Show, and you know someone
that you you might know I would be aware of
that doesn't normally call the show and then randomly calls
up maybe hides behind the veil of social media, that
(14:38):
that wouldn't stand out like a sore thumb. That's the
first thing. Secondly, UH to think that in that mindset
that this I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
get a listener to call up and again fish for
a compliment. You're as close to the stuff on the toilet,
the back of the toilet and a rest stop on
the Jersey Turnpike is what you are with that? You
(15:01):
are rotten eggs. You smell like farts. About that? Not you,
of course, I'm just in a general sense, not you.
I would not It's not about you. I don't think
I would surely hope it's not you. That would be
very embarrassing if it was you. I think the most
important thing part of this entire discussion is that whoever
the individually you're referring to is. I think it's important
to acknowledge the fact that he or she went directly
(15:23):
to the consumer, not to like outside agencies and looking
for all these handouts and looking for all these like
back slabs and mailing marketing routines. It went right to
the consumer because that is your direct source of consumption,
is the consumer. And I applaud the effort. I actually
commend whoever that might be. It's it's normal, it's important,
(15:46):
and I don't think it should be lost in the
fact that that you have people working hard behind the
scenes um for you, UM and oftentimes it's lost on
you because, as you said, you're your own man. You
don't work with a producer. You don't like working with
your executive producer. You don't like working with a technical
director or an update anchor that rereads scripts from like
seven hours ago. Um, you don't like doing things in
(16:07):
a in a community session, and um you know it's unfortunate,
but uh, you know, whether you like it or not,
you don't pick the people you work with. Um, they well,
I mean it's it's really just a you know, moral thing.
I was really used to fight my own different sixty years.
Oh you learned? Oh are you admitting that you were
the person I'm referring to? Did you just admit that
(16:28):
I did not? I just said you're the way you
phrase that sounded like you're that's an admission. Well, no,
I'm just acknowledging that you looked at a different time
that you brought it up. But I will let the
listener decide the defense. Rest. I think you've just incriminated
yourself right there, guess Scot I believe you have you
snotty nose, cry baby. If you have just you have
just incriminated yourself, and you can hear it unless you
(16:48):
first edit that out of the podcast. No, I don't.
I don't fish for compliments. There's actually a fine promo
that's circulating across I Heart Media and Fox Sports Radio
with you promoting yourself and me working on the far
with Ben Maller. So I don't need any additional that
was written for me. I didn't write that, and there
was a gun to my head to read it. So
water gun, well it, super soaker is a gun you
(17:11):
can drown from a super soaker probably can't be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven pm paciffec. Be sure to
catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
two am eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
and the I Heart Radio app. All right, so we
have fakery, frauds, we got We've got to get to that.
(17:34):
So for a long time, my position on social media
has been rather simple. I have said that social media
is the matrix. Well, now I have empirical evidence data
that that is that is correct, and that we are
all being horn swoggled, bamboozled, and led astray, and that
(17:55):
It really is a case of if you take the
blue pill, the story ends your way, cup in your bed,
you believe whatever you want to believe, right, That's what
Morpheus said in in the Matrix. But if you take
the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And we'll see
how how deep in the rabbit hole we can go.
And we're all hanging out, those of us that dabble
in social media into wonderland that you really do not
(18:18):
know what's real and what is fake. It's all the algorithms,
the box and all that stuff. And I want to
thank a big fan of the Fifth Hour podcast and
also the Ben Mallory Show, our guy, Doug. Doug was
a high for Luten executive in the tech industry back
back and then I think he's retired now, but he
lives in the Northwest. I don't wanta give exact location.
I don't give me trouble um, not that I don't
(18:40):
think he would get in trouble for this, but he
send me this story out of the The Wall Street
Journal somewhat recently, and I wanted to bring up. I
actually saved it for the podcast because it, of course
is confirmation that I'm right. So there's this net neutrality
battle going on, right, FCC net neutrality. There's a proposal,
it's out there and the Federal Communications Commission, uh, whether
(19:05):
or not they should roll back internet regulation. Right. It's
a lot of red tape and and and whatnot, and
we don't need to get into the minutia of that.
But the reason this story is interesting and the reason
I want to talk about it with you right now,
and I think it's very important, is there were let's see,
(19:25):
twenty two million comments, uh that were actually the wait,
hold it made the math on the there's more than millions,
all right, So i'll deal with you. Let's let's pull
out the calculator and let's type away. All right. So, uh,
there were a bunch of applies online about net neutrality
with the FCC, and so the New York Attorney General's
(19:49):
Office went and looked. I think there were twenty two
million comments. All yeah, So I did have the number
of twenty two million comments. I wrote some chicken scratch,
I can't rewever. So two million comments, all right? These
are the bullet points. Twenty two million comments out of
the twenty two The New York Attorney General's Office went
to find out, you know, what is real and what
(20:11):
is not. What are these bots, what are the algorithms,
what are the real actual human beings? And there's ways
you can detect that. So, out of the twenty two
million comments, what percentage of these comments were not legit?
What percentage of these comments were total bullshit? I'm gonna
say nine percent of the comments were not. No, it's
not that high, but you're not far off. Over eighty percent,
(20:33):
over eighty percent of all public comments filed on net
neutrality to the f c C were bullshit. They were
they were bogus. Eighteen million fake comments. That's the number,
eighteen million fake comments, more than eighty percent. There were
only four million legit. About eight point five million of
(20:55):
the fake comments to the f CC derived from a
four point two million dollar camp paying paid for by
someone named broad Band for America, an advocacy group. This
is what I'm talking about, these guests on these lobbyists.
There are what I could right now. I could make
a few phone calls. I could have three million followers.
(21:15):
I'd rather somebody buy me followers, but I'm too cheap.
But there are ways you can. You don't know what's
legit and what's not. We have buddies of ours and radio.
Remember this is a great story who overnight they went
from like two thousand followers to like a hundred two
hundred thousand followers in like two days because they had,
(21:35):
you know, open up the bank account or they figured
out a way to mess you know men and build
these these body accounts you can make millions of Do
remember that documentary I watched on HBO about you know,
there was I think we talked about on this show. Uh,
it was about making someone on Instagram celebrity and how
you know you buy these followers and whatnot what goes
into that. But that's mind buggling. More than eighty percent
(22:00):
of the comments about net neutrality, we're ridiculous. And the
reason that's important, let me tell you why that's important
because these dopey politicians they're older than me. Most of
these politicians, they don't understand. They must be real. This
is what the electorate wants. But no, it's not. It's
what advocacy groups and radicals what they pay for. And
(22:22):
it it goes back to the matrix, right, you know,
what is real and what is not real? Yeah, but
they use this or they use those tools to amplify
and gaslight their audiences because they know that they have
a a wing of whatever social media platform or news
agency will get behind them and preach it as gospel.
(22:45):
All right, don't don't forget that. We had a kid,
a teenager and Nick Sadman who filed and want a
massive lawsuit against CNN for what for what they thought
was of him talking down the elderly man and in
some corner some kind of racism and uh, and all
of a sudden he gets this huge settlement because they
(23:07):
distorted exactly what was going on there. It's the fucking
world we live, and everything is is all manipulated, photos
shopped edited, the videos down, the sound is down, whatever
it is. It's all about manipulating your eyes and fucking
with your feelings. That's all it is. It's a deep fake.
We're all being it. We're all in a deep fake
(23:27):
right now. I had I got into a pretty vocal
argument last week with a colleague here at Fox. Doug All. Yeah.
He he asked me during a segment, and I thought
it was like a throwaway segment, but he asked me
if I was vaccinated, and I said no, why And
he said, well why not? And I said, well, I'm,
(23:47):
you know, a middle aged guy. I'm in good health,
my immune system strong. Um, well why do I need to?
And he's like, well, for the greater good, like you
need to be doing this and that. And I'm like, well, Doug,
are you smoking? Are you drinking? Or you're getting sleep?
Are you really in your stress? Are you traveling? Um?
Are you working out? As your vitamin D levels high
or they low? And it was just this whole thing
(24:08):
about back and forth, back and forth, and I said, hey,
you know, like these vaccines are administered right now for
emergency use only. They're not approved by the FDA. And
he thought they were and I said, no, they're they're not.
We went back and forth on that, and it's like
God forbid you question anything. God forbid. I mean the
box is a perfect example of it. Like you find
(24:30):
out the route, and then you find out where the
money is coming from, and then you find out the
influence and someone's behind it because obviously they want to
push one agenda or another. Well, and the other problem
is how humans are wired. You want to be with
the cool people, right, we all want to be with
the cool people you don't want to be having a
different opinion with it's out of the the main stream.
So yeah, that becomes that becomes a problem. Right. You
(24:54):
wanna you wanna be popular, you want to hang out
with the cool kids and all that stuff, so that
you gotta be careful though. I saw him employee who
wrote a book. I think it was for Apple. I
don't know if you read about this. He wrote a book,
I think, and it was prior to getting hired at Apple,
and someone complained to like there, I think it was
like the chief people officer, and they fired the guy.
(25:15):
Oh is that right? Yeah? I just well, as far
as me, I haven't gotten the vaccine. I probably will
get it, just you know, my wife wants me to
get it. My brother had it. He seems to be
doing all right, so I'll but my brother had the visor. Well,
I'm not against obviously vaccines. I just I think it's
well now that now that they finally said, if you
have the vaccine, you don't have to wear the mask
(25:36):
and all that, right, how do you again, actually said,
how do we How do I prove that? You know?
And that's that sounds like just a bullshit thing. You
can't actually enforce it unenforceable. And that's the thing. It's
either one way or they or another. Like Gottlieb called
me an anti vaccine, I'm like, how the funk are
you getting off like this? On a national show he
name called ad hominem attack exactly, and I'm like, I
told my parents to get the vaccine. I have one
(25:57):
sister who's gotten the vaccine. How the fund gonna get
off telling me that on the National show? I was
but I I even if I eventually get to Bactale,
I don't If you don't want to get it, I
don't think you should be forced to get it. I
don't know, but you are also at the same time, like,
if I, you know, get something illness out of this
and something happens, that's on me, right, it's on you
if you don't get it. You were all grown ups
(26:18):
here and you know you have to pay the pay
the price exactly. That's wow. That's a great story, though,
I um because I mean, two million comments, eighteen million bullshit.
They went into detail and again thanks to dog who
for this U and he knew this was right in
my wheelhouse. This was a batting practice, fastball from Doug
(26:39):
and I I thank him. So there's a Senator Rob
Portman from Ohio. Fourteen thousand messages sent to this guy
were fake, right, total bullshit. Uh and uh it's it's wild.
So you can check that out. Was a Wall Street
Journal story, and they said that investigators found nine point
three million comments supporting net neutrality used fictitious identities, most
(27:02):
submitted by one California college student majoring in computer science.
It's good, it's good. Do you think there's somebody in
the mallam militia that we can get? Yeah? I can't.
I don't think say I want bought fast but but
or I certainly want to pay for them. But you know,
if you can do it, boy, that'd be funny. It
(27:23):
wouldn't be funny if I all of a sudden woke
up and there's like, you know eight You know, I've
been pretty solid around fifty thousand, give or take a
gun up, gone down, whatever, I haven't really I pick
up a few. I lose if we lost a lot
when we uh during the because of the third Rail,
ma man, some of the leftists, Yeah, they got upset
with me, and the snowflakes get upset with they bailed chip.
(27:46):
But but no, that's what I need. That's what I
need in the mallam militia. I need a California college student,
or New York or New Jersey or Massachusetts college student
majoring in computer science to come up with nine point
three millions or whatever. Let's say they said, this is
a nineteen year old student was responsible for seven point
seven million comments generated using websites that create names, he said,
(28:11):
and physical addresses and email addresses. So there you go,
as Paul Harvey would say, now you know the rest
of the story. Remember that. Now. I just tell my
wife this. You know, she loves reading. When we buy
stuff on the internet, look at the reviews on Amazon
or whatever, and see what you know people are saying
and or Yelp to find restaurants. And I'm always like,
(28:33):
I don't I don't know that that's legit or not.
I I am so cynical, oh ye of little faith
that I'm like, well, is that the blue pill or
is that the red pill? I think that's the red pill.
I don't think. I think we're going further down the
rabbit hole on that one. Yeah, alright, what else? Something else?
I wanted to mention before we get the pop quiz. Uh.
(28:54):
There was a somewhat recent poll from this came from
the Center for American Political Studies at Harvard University and
the Harris Pool and it revealed that six of Americans
believe that cancel culture, you know, the the boycotting, pressuring,
etcetera of people for their past or current verbal statements
(29:18):
UH is a threat to their freedom. And seven agree
that there is a problem of very importance, but no
one's doing anything about it. So I thought that was
it was a problem, but you know, everyone's kind of like, yeah,
it's and on the side of the right, I mean,
what are you supposed to do it? Though? Right? How
(29:39):
do you stop? You can't really stop it. You can,
but it comes with consequences, and there's not a lot
of people that can do it with reckless abandoned or
have either a safety net or do it with a parachute.
Like like a guy like um, he's come on the show,
Leo Terrell. He's he's a Democrat, he's a liberal, but
(30:03):
he's called out ship that he completely disagrees with. But
I think in today's world, because he's older and because
he's an attorney, he can get away with a lot
of those things, whereas if the individual is younger, and
I also think if the individual is younger and white,
(30:23):
no chance. Yeah. Well Leo, like but Leo gets called
out to like you know, and I he he he's
talked about this, but he's being canceled though. No. But
when you're a black guy and you're you know, you're
out out there, Oh, you shouldn't be doing that, you know, like, well,
you come on ridiculous. Yeah, but I mean you can't
have any you can't have any other thoughts other than
(30:45):
the group thinking. I mean no, I mean, look at
what's her name, J. K Rowling's right, Like, she's talked
about sexual orientation and gender assignments, and god forbid you
get all these fucking groups that try to cancel her.
It's like, you know, fuck you. That's let's get yeah,
(31:05):
let's get do a little pop quiz here, then we
gotta get out of here. Getting the mail Bag podcast,
which is my favorite podcast. I wonder what I love
the mail Bag podcast. What what would you go a
little slab knob nob? I don't know, it's it's you
never know what you're gonna get it back. I just
open up the letters. There's no need for a viscal
reaction from you. It's you don't know. Maybe there'll be
(31:27):
some nice people. Yeah, I know you. You're very friendly.
I hear with some of the callers. Maybe they'll right
friend of of a lot of colors. That's what I hear,
all right, pop quiz things I found around the internet.
I thought we're interesting, and we'll ask gascon, but we're
really asking you, and here we go. According to a
(31:47):
new survey, couples are both happier and more stable if
the man in the relationship takes care of this specific
household task what is it cleaning? Well, yes, but one
specific bathroom. No, And that is why that I am
(32:08):
in a happy relationship and a stable relationship. Guest gunt,
I am the dishwasher, and I am not just a
fucking dishwasher. I'm the greatest goddamn dishwasher you could possibly
Because you buy paper play, it's still given that. No. No,
I am an expert. I know that that dishwasher is
not like the you know, some cartoon from back in
the day where you put everything in there and it
(32:28):
was covered with with pasta sauce and it just washes
it off. No, you you have to properly wash off
the dishes. Uh, and you have to scrub the dishes
once in the sink. And then the dishwasher is the
final nuclear option where it makes everything pure again. But
I'm gonna actually, I'm telling you when this radio thing
(32:49):
in this podcast and I'm going into professional dishwashing. I
want an industrial dishwasher, is what I want. You're laughing,
but I I would be a really good dish washer. Yeah.
A thirty nine billion dollars a year is spent on
this in America, thirty nine billion. And if you don't
(33:10):
do it this particular thing, you know, I spend the
money on this, people get very upset. I was gonna
say tires um. They get really upset um flu shots. No, No,
the answer is tipping. Oh are you? Are you good tipper?
(33:32):
I am an adequate tipper. I don't have to be
a good tipper because no one knows who I am.
But I'm an adequate tipper. So what I do is
I have an app on my phone. I'm the guy
that pulls up the do it. I do it salth
is what I man. You're fucking lame. No, I do
(33:53):
it looks like I'm sending a text message, but I'm
actually putting the app on to see what the bill is.
Now I'm gonna know for future reference. What is that?
What do you What do you mean? That means if
we're going out somewhere, I'm gonna look at you as
you're doing your bullshit tipping? Why I just calculate if
the server is good in fifteen or ten percent? Well,
but then there's there's like, well is it before tax
(34:15):
or after tax? Right? Grows? I do the growth? Some
some people say, well, let's not include the tax, because
that's the different. It's only about the price of the meal.
Now do you pay cash or do you you card
for tip? Well, like everyone else, most of it's just
credit card. Just filling out the receipt. You're signing your
name and so you have to put the dollar amount
and that's it. Yeah. Uh, let's see your page down,
(34:40):
page down. All right. It is sad, but more than
fifty percent of Americans say that we have been We've
not been able to do this in in a year.
What is it? Hug our friends? No, actually make a
new friend? Oh, no, new friend like fake friends on
(35:01):
the internet, real real wife, I've met some new friends. Yeah,
that's what I hear. You want to name the friends? Yeah,
I mean I got a lot of them. I started
using Clubhouse, got pretty active on there. It was bouncing
around a bunch of the rooms, and met some fine
people in the film and entertainment industry. Nobody, you know,
(35:23):
but yeah, someone is that it's like a spinoff of
Grinder Clubhouse Is that? No, No, it's it's a spinoff
of like Lincoln. Okay, I got you. Yeah, we we
have some friends that we met in Las Vegas. Yeah
we did, that's true. We did. Look at you always
negative Nancy with your bullshit tipping and your bullshit connectivity.
(35:46):
Doom and gloom from Ben Mallory of people said they
have not made a new friend a year. How many
people do you think are actually good with that? Though? Yeah, mom,
most people aren't that over social. So yeah, most people are. Uh,
they're they're okay with six out of ten adults do
(36:07):
this every day? What is it? God loved them for
doing this? Loss? Now, listen to the radio. To the radio.
Sixty percent of all adults, I'm according to a well,
only when you're on nobody listens. According to a News survey.
That's the According a new survey, thirty six percent of
people admit they've lied to get out of doing this
(36:29):
type of event. What is it light at doing this
to get out of doing something? Um, going to a wedding? Correct?
What's up? Look at that? I don't want to go
to the wedding. Yeah, but then you still got to
buy the gift. No, you don't funk that. There's actually
a colleague here that invited us to or invited me
(36:51):
to a wedding and I had to go take a
trip to go to the wedding, and I was like, ah,
I don't want to do that. And then I didn't
buy a gift. Dude got div worsd within a year.
Is that right? Yeah? I was like, fucking thank god
I didn't waste my time and money on that day.
I think I was at that wedding. Actually I think
that you were. I think I was. I was at
a wedding. Someone I used to work with got married
(37:13):
and who was it? Wow the person? But they got divorced.
They're married again now, but they got divorced, and uh,
it was a big wedding and bought a gift and
the whole thing and took photos and didn't last. I
went to Jonas's wedding. That was a lot of fun.
Did I go to that one? On that one? Yeah,
(37:34):
you were at that one? What the hell you're talking about?
I was there. The buffet they did. Jonas was a rebel.
They had a buffet when everyone's a noble face his
brother's restaurant, and uh, pretty good. I like it was
my kind of food. Yeah, for eight year old that
it was right. I loved it. It was great. New
(37:56):
survey asked mothers if they still do this or you know,
take care of anything for their adult children. Of mothers
said they still do this for their adult children. What
is laundry? That's correct? Two for two? What's up? Look
at that? Um yeah, my my mom. May she rest
in peace, but she she did my laundry for for
(38:16):
a long time. I'd like, drive my laundry. I was
so so terrible. I take my laundry from l A,
drive it down to Orange County through the laundry and
then uh then head back. So yeah. Uh. A record
price for this item, which is found in many kitchens,
is sixty one hundred dollars. This in the kitchen, um
(38:40):
an oven. No, a cookie jar? What you know those
weird cookie jars that are shaped like cartoon heads and
stuff like that. Yeah, what the wait? Sixty dollars? That
is correct? Oh my gosh, yeah it didn't that one ful?
(39:00):
That's awful, Yeah, exactly. According to a recent survey, the
number one thing we do on our smart phones is text.
What is number two? Look at porn? Well, for you,
that is correct, but for the rest of us it's
check email, which might be the same thing because you
might be getting porn in your email from what I'm hearing,
but I don't know's yeah, uh, let's hear. One third
(39:24):
of adults claim they have never done this on social media.
Looked at porn? Yeah? Someone now look up an X. Yeah,
everyone does. I think they're lining the one third of line.
How about that? Everyone's curious, right, whether you're successful, you
want to look at the people that weren't successful, or
(39:44):
if you're not successful, you're like, you're crue whatever happened
to that that person is successful? That kind. Some psychologists
say that this is the most revealing place they can
look at to learn about a person, like look at
their person or you mean, like to to look to
(40:05):
learn about a person, like what you're made of, what
you're all about? Who you are? Their car? No, you're
junk drawer. Oh interesting? Do you have a drunk drawer?
I? I I do, well, not right now, but like, is
it a chaster or is it like it's just a
drawer in a there's other drawers, but I have one
(40:25):
particular drawer that the junk drawer, and I have that's
where I keep my rubber bands, my superglue, old keys.
That's some of the things that are in the junk drawer.
I probably have some of those in there. I have
some random flask you know what I what I should
(40:46):
send out and and Earl would be impressed by this.
I have a listener sent me this years ago. It's
a Jim Healy ashtray and it's got all of Jim
Healy's phrases on it. It's one of my most pride possessions,
is it because it's I believe the only piece of
Jim Heely memorabilia that was ever made. The radio guy
(41:06):
and I hold onto this thing near and dear. It's awesome.
Is it white or is it clear with black print
on it? No, it's white and it's got it's uh,
it says, hold on us, let me turning the light.
Here it says, and they said it was impossible. The
world's first one half hour sports commentary Jim Healy k
m PC. And then it has all the phrases that's good. Yeah,
(41:30):
it's pretty good. Thank you, Jim, Double take department. Is
it true? It's my job, Bruce, and it goes through
all those things say what Yeah, So I love that.
Pretty cool, Pretty pretty cool. We gotta get out of here, guests,
and we got the Mailback podcast coming up right around
the corner on Sunday. Have a great Saturday. Remember tell
(41:51):
a friend about the podcast. If you missed Friday's podcast
with Earl the Great Comedian, there you can check that out.
Tell a friend, Tell a friend, We'll catch you next time.
Be sure to live editions of The Ben Meller Show
weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Be sure
to catch live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays
at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports
(42:11):
Radio and the I Heart Radio app
Host
Ben Maller
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