June 8, 2024 • 30 mins
Ben & Danny have a fun Saturday pod for you! They talk: Murphy's law Activated, 8 Years of Bad Luck, Idiom of the Week, Garage Sale Crap, & more!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kubbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben
and Danny g Radio. This the Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy
edition of the podcast. A Happy Saturday to you. It's
the eighth day of the month of June, as we
are hanging out together celebrating National best Friends Day. Do
(00:53):
you really need a National best Friends Day? Is that
even a thing?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I don't know whether they say it's a thing, whoever
they are that come up with these these dopey holidays.
But that's the day today. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. It's also
I know, wait a second, did we just become best friends? Well,
we're working together on National best Friends Day? Man, what
did we just become best friends? Yep, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
One of the most underrated comedies of all time Step Brothers.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, today is also a World Gin Day, you big
gin guy.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Well, I guess when we were teenagers we tried gin
and juice because of Snoop DOGG. Sure, I don't have
a really good taste though.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's international nint Knit in Public Day, k n I
t Nita, Yes, knit in public.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
When you think about hardened criminals serving time behind bars,
you probably don't think about knitting.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is that something you're supposed to keep private? Is that
something you don't want? It probably is you don't to
let people know that you're a knitter man. Okay, wonderful.
It's also World Ocean's Day, So dive right in, Danny,
jump out in that Pacific ocean and celebrate the ocean
currents that are flowing around us at all times. But
(02:08):
on this podcast here, on this Saturday, we've got Murphy's
Law activated, eight years of bad luck of the idiom
of the week. We have some other things we'll get
to as well, but we'll start with this. So I
mentioned on the Friday podcast that I lost a friend
of mine, TJ. Simers, who was a great media guy,
beloved father, grandfather, all that stuff. TJ died of brain cancer.
(02:33):
So I want to give you a little backstory, and
of course this is just kind of related how everything
comes together. I got a message on Friday night, I
think it was Friday night late that a friend from
Fox Sports Radios passed. His mother had passed away. And
(02:54):
this is somebody that we worked together with, me and
Looney Money, great guy, one of our favorite people in radio.
And keep in mind, this person left Fox Sports Radio
over fifteen years ago. I think it's been almost seventeen
years since they left the company, and yet we still
(03:18):
have this bond, you know. And it's like when you
break bread or you do radio together, it goes one
of two ways. Either you hate him or you love
them for life. Right, it is one of two ways.
And so this is not someone that I talk to
every day, and I don't. I really haven't seen the
person in years, but we're still friends, right, And so
I was like, I know what it's like to lose
a mom, and I know how terrible that is, and
(03:41):
so I wanted to show my support. And so what fine,
I was like, I'll go I get to see Loony,
you know, show my love to my friend. Whose mom
passed away. And so I drove all the way from
where I live in the north Woods, Dandy to the
cemetery was in Mission Hills in the San Fernando Valley.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
That's four hours in traffic.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yes, I mean I had to get up so f
and early. But yes, what are you gonna do. It's
the right thing to do. You want to show support,
you gotta do it. So I did it fine. I'm
not even complaining about that. In fact, I think I
have relatives who were buried in that cemetery. More on
that in a minute. So I get out there and
(04:27):
this is classic Looney. So he tells me that the
service is at noon. So I get out there at
like eleven thirty. Tom Looney owns me I'm his bitch, clearly,
idd I think it was, or you know, he said
twelve thirty, and I got there at noon. I got
there at noon, so you were a half hour early. Yeah.
(04:49):
So I get there and there's no one here. I'm like,
did I just get punked?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Did?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Because I didn't want to announce in case I didn't
make it. I wasn't sure I was going to be
able to make it because it's very hard for me
to get up early. You know what that's like, Danny.
When you work late at night, it's not the easiest
thing to adjust your schedule. So I was like, I
don't know if I'll me. I didn't want to say
anything that I was going to be there, not that
my appearance would matter at all, but I just like, Okay.
So I get there at noon for a twelve thirty service,
(05:18):
and then I find out the service is actually at
like one thirty. Cloney gave me the wrong time, So
now I have an hour to kill at a cemetery
surrounded by people there people have already been killed. Oh
oh my goodness, O MG. Right, So I'm like, oh,
(05:40):
this is great. Just what I wanted to do on
my morning off is sitting in a good damn cemetery
with a bunch of people that have checked out. So fortunately,
the gentleman who I wanted to show my support to,
he actually happened to park next to me, and he
walked over and gave me this quizzical look, like what
(06:01):
are you doing here? Why you here so early? It
was that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
He's like, there's no party set up or anything like, yeah,
to help me set up balloons and stuff that's going
on here.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, so we we caught up, and uh, it was
it was great and he actually I don't even know
if this guy worked at Fox Sports Radio when you
were there, Danny. I think you were there after he
was here, but he left and worked with Bill O'Reilly,
of all people, he went into political radio and then
became one of the great strategical minds. I always rip analytics,
(06:36):
but this guy political analytics one of the legends. I'm
not kidding in Washington, d C. He is credited. And
while I might disagree or you know, I don't get
it's not political on myn not political then, but podcast
numbers go down to rating. But he has been credited
because of analytics helping to get Barack Obama elected president.
(06:59):
That he came up with a algorhythm on polling and whatnot.
And I don't even know exactly what went into it.
All I know is politicians, political people love this guy, right,
So it was his mom that passed away.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Fine, So I'm there and and Looney shows up and
we're catching up. I hadn't seen Loony since the TV show.
We were supposed to go out to dinner. He canceled
one time, then I canceled, and we just haven't. We
text all the time. We talked, but we haven't physically
been in the same room since the final episode of
the TV show back before the Super Bowl. So I
(07:34):
caught up with him and then I was like, Wow,
some other some other people that I recognized that from
Fox Sports Radio pass that were there. That was kind
of cool. I feel odd dropping names, though, Danny. It
was at a funeral, so I don't know that I
should really drop names that would be inappropriate, right, That
would be wrong to drop names.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
They're right now?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, all right, Well Looney was there. Dan Byer showed up.
How about that Dan Byer, Fox Sports Radios. Dan Byer
was there. One of our old producers who now works
for the NBA Radio was was there as well.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Andrew Siciliano from our old buddy who's yeah yeah, let
go by NFL Network and he did the Red Zone
show for years on Direct TV.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Andrew, I love you, but your contract's not in our
current budget.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So it was great to see these people, you know,
not the greatest of situations, obviously, and it was a
very nice, very emotional ceremony. I learned a lot about
my friend's mom. I'd never met her, and I learned
a lot about her life and how, you know, the
great things she did and how wonderful she was moving
all over the country. And it was just a you know,
it was it was a very emotional day and and
(08:46):
it was it was it was cool to be there
and to show support. Cool so right word, But it
was just I felt like it was important to be there,
and so I was happy that I was able to
make it. Uh, we finished up with the the service,
and then this is not stupid, I am okay, I
swear I had been here before. For I think my
uncle and my grandfather are buried in this in the cemetery.
(09:10):
It's a massive cemetery in Mission Hills. It is humongous, right,
So I went on their website. I was like, maybe
I could look up a grave, like they had a database,
because I'm not going to be able to find a grave.
So I was like, man, I wonder to show my respects.
I'm here, I'm not probably not gonna be here again
for a while if ever. So I go on their
(09:31):
website and I could not find a database of where
to locate people that are there hanging out in the
ground forever. So then I was like, in my head,
I remember being here at at the cemetery for my
uncle's funeral, which was like seven years ago. My uncle
Harvey passed away and he was buried there in that cemetery,
(09:54):
and I remember it was on a hill. There was
a tree. So I drove down and I see a
hill with a tree. I'm thinking, well, maybe that's it.
So I park my car. There's no one else in
this part of the cemetery, and I'm now walking to
try to find my uncle's grave and my grandfather's grave.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
You had two hours to look.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I'm walking around, right, and I couldn't find it, and
I'm kind of getting depressed. Any I'm not gonna lie.
I mean, I'm looking at a lot of a lot
of nameplates and a lot of lives and a lot
of people that have come and gone and that's it.
It's over, and you know, people that died years ago.
And it's an old, older cemetery, that part of the cemetery,
(10:37):
and uh, but I never did find it, and you know,
like whatever. So then I get in the car and
I got a long drive. As you know, Danny you
mentioned four hours Mission Hills to the north Woods. There's
no quick way to get there. So I'm driving.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm driving. It's bumpered, a bumper, to bumpered, A bumper,
A bumper, A bumper, a bumper, And I mean, wow,
this is great. And I had to get back because
I had to get ready for the show. We work
Sunday night into Monday morning, and that's the beginning.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Of my work week.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
So how to get back. So I'm driving. We get
past the seven to ten on the five South and
we're turning right in front of Atlantic. The road kind
of turns a little bit and traffic had picked up,
and all of a sudden it stops. And because I'm
paying attention and not on my phone, I'm able to
(11:28):
stop my car. I stopped boom, just a couple of
inches away from the car in front of me.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But then I know there's cars behind me.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So I look in my rear room mirror and this
this like Nissan, I think it was a Nissan, might
have been a toilet. This guy behind me, he pumps
on the brakes and he stopped just inches from my car.
So I'm like, I take a little bit of a
deep breath. But wait a minute, there's another car, this truck,
it's like a Toyota truck, a forerunner. It doesn't stop.
(12:04):
It hits the car behind me. And what happens if
you hit a car and that car, what does that
car do, Danny, is they go forward and backwards.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Domino motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, right into my car. Kubboom, just like that. So
on my way back from a funeral, I get rear
ended and my car there was a lot of personal
Well some people would like that on the whip. I
(12:36):
was more concerned about him giving me a double fish. Anyway,
my car ended up having back end damage. It was
still drivable, but made a lot of weird noises, a
lot of noises, but it was driving. The car behind
me was total.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You just got done on this podcast telling the story
about the tire blow.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yes, well, my wife is driving. This was me driving
this time. So we were to get off ilmost got
hit twice trying to get off. I was in the
number two lane and I had to get over two
lanes to get off to the side of the road.
Because they tell you when you get into a minor
accident at the time, I thought it was a minor accident.
I thought I had just gotten rear ended, and I
knew it was a chain reaction thing, but I didn't
think it was that bad. It wasn't until we pulled
(13:16):
over that I saw the car behind me had been totaled.
That it was It was completely that was the lights
out for that car. And we're exchanging information on the
side of the road, you know, and the one guy,
the guy in the truck was a younger dude, and
he had never been in an accident before, and he
was freaking out, you know that first time you're in
an accident, Danny, and you're like, oh my god, oh yeah,
(13:37):
it's like the worst, you know. And then I felt
bad for the guy behind me because I saw him
stop in time, like he stopped and you know, he
did the right thing, and he still got, you know, hit. Anyway,
we exchanged information, so I then get back in the car.
I'm about to turn out onto the highway, get out
on the car and I turned. I took my phone on,
(14:01):
I look at my text and that at that moment,
I get a text TJ has just died. My friend
who had just seen that previous Tuesday, TJ. Simon. So
this is like Murphy's law. I mean, I I'm at
a funeral, which is fine. I felt like it was
a good mitzvah whatever. And then I get to pressed
because I'm looking at all these gravestones. I then get
(14:21):
in the car, get an accident, and then get back
in the car and find out. You know, I mean,
I knew he was gonna die, but I was hoping
he would last a few more months.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And then the dark cloud hanging right above you and
only you started pouring.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Oh my god, Danny, it was one of those It
was one of those days. But hey, you know, live
and well, and the car is in the shop and
I'm driving a rental with South Dakota plates right now.
I'm so excited about that. Just a random rental car
that I have, and.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It won't be targeted by LAPD and whatsoever. No, not
at all. No, No, what are you doing? You loser?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Are you who's part of tone stranger? So that's my
Murphy's law?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Are you doing in la drug dealer?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No good deed goes unpunished, Danny, But hey, it could
be worse. You could have eight years of bad luck.
That could that could be worse.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
It sounds like this is year one for you. Oh man, Yeah,
so this involves a car as well. I'm driving home
this past Monday. It was a rough, little bit of
a rough start to the week for me. The radio
show was fun, but you know when your body and
I'm not a garlic dude like you, but when you
could tell your body is fighting something off. Yeah, and
(15:38):
you you This had been like going for four days
and over the weekend I slept extra feel better and
over it before I went back to work on Monday.
So Monday afternoon, I'm at work. I'm fine. I'm a
little bit out of it. When I was driving home,
I was feeling like, man, I got to get back
to bed so I can be perfect by Tuesday. So
I pull into our We're rich, me and my wife.
(16:00):
As you know, all people in radio are rich, clearly wrong,
but we have town.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You're an important person, you're a legend.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
You're a radio legend, Danny who We live in townhomes
in LA. You kind of are rich. If you're in
a townhome. We're grandfathered into this one. Thank god. There
are garages. I don't know if you know how townhomes are,
but there's garages right underneath the townhouse. This guy next
door to us, he's got his garage open. We know
(16:28):
this guy well. The walls are thick. Thank god. We
don't hear him or his wife or his drum set.
He's a drummer by profession, goes from gig to gig.
We see him with his drums and stuff. He's pimped
out his garage. Have you ever seen any of your
neighbors ben do a project where they put like the
fancy flooring in their garage and the big mirrors on
their walls.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And no, I've seen it on TV. I haven't seen it.
I think in this neighborhood where I'm at, my neighbor
has like a treadmill in his garage.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I'm glad you brought that up that you've seen it
on TV. Same our garage. Oh my god, it's been
an ongoing project for me for two years. I'm lucky
to like not have rats and leaves and dead mice
in my garage. This guy, his garage looks like it
should be on HGTV. So I pull in. He's got
two huge mirrors that and I don't know if he's
(17:19):
gonna put some gym equipment in there or what? His
garage doors open a lot. The dry wall got redone
and one huge circle mirror. Now right outside his garage
were two huge rectangular mirrors that I'm guessing he's gonna
put on both sides of the walls in there. I
have to be careful because I have to drive all
the way to the left near his garage to get
(17:41):
the right angle, because he's got a long front nose.
My car does big nose, And.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I'm offensive that you were talking about you that I'm triggered, Danny,
how dare you but talk about the schnazola like that?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Do you? But it's a it's a very manly nose,
all right. It's a strong nose.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It's a sexy nose that other women who are into nose.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, it's a muscle car.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Are women turned on by noses? Is there a subset
of women that look for a man?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Probably? Probably? Yeah, if it's a strong looking nose.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I was attracted to the giant metal cock.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
All right.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So the angle I'm trying to take or I need
to take into this parking space, I'm always about to
clip his garage to the left of me, so I
had to be super careful because I just about clocked
his two mirrors that were leaning up against the side
by his garage. I look back, he's standing there and
I'm like, oh shit, because he saw me almost take
(18:39):
his mirrors out. I park and I get out. I'm like,
oh man, I'm sorry. I you know I have to
get close to your garage like that to be able
to turn it. And he's like, oh, no, worries, and
I get it. I understand. And right as he's saying this,
he knocks one of the two mirrors to the ground.
(19:00):
It shatters in pieces, big sharp shards flying at his feet.
I felt like it was partly my fault. I don't
know why, because I'm not the one that did that. Yes,
I almost hit the mirrors, and I was talking to
him about that, but clumsily he knocked the two that
(19:21):
were leaning one stage, the one closest to the garage
state the one leaning on the other one is the
one that hit the ground and broke into a million pieces.
So I go over. I'm trying to help him. He's like, no, no, no,
don't touch any of these sharp glass pieces leaves. He
comes back. He's got these like garden gloves on. He's
trying to get these pieces off the ground. I couldn't
(19:42):
help but think, Ben, if he has eight years of
bad luck over this, do I inherit some of it? Well?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
No, but he lives right there. You're gonna see it,
assuming you're not gonna move. You said your grandfather in
so I mean at least for a couple of years,
you're gonna Yes, his bad luck is going to be
your bad luck?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Am I an accessory to the crime? You are?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Exactly? Man?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I felt so. I felt so bad. He was out
there for a good hour picking up all the glass.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Was he cursing your name under his breath as well?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
No, he's a nice guy. He was still nice and everything,
but I could tell he was frustrated. I think he
might have felt better had I just crashed into that mirror,
you know, right, because then he could have blamed somebody
instead of himself.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Well, now, who's who replaces that? He's going to have to?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
You're not really Yeah, I didn't do it. He knocked
into it.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I mean he did it, so you're not worry about that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
But wow, all right for christ Mns, I'll get him
like a handmare.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Sorry about the mirror. You know, here's a little head. Yeah,
here's one. You know, you don't need that big one.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
You can hold this on mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who's the clumsiest of them all?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Exactly? Time now for the idiom of the week.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Idiom of the week.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
And this also oh by request, our friend Angelina, the
lovely Angelina met her at the Mallor meet and greet
in Minnesota.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
She was very kind.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
She dragged along some of her friends who aren't listeners
of the show, but she wanted them to come and
be part of the event, and we thank her for that.
That was awesome. But it was great to meet her.
But she lives, I would say she lives twin cities adjacent.
How about that twin cities adjacent. Yes, And she writes,
and she wants to know the origin of egg on
(21:28):
the face, Like egg on the face. You know you
get that egg on the face.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
So you have egg on your face?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Radio hosts, Yeah, take that, radio boy, get a napkin
a radio boy. So there's a couple theories on the
origin of egg on the face Angelina. The one that
seems the most likely actually goes back to farming, say, why, yeah, farming,
(21:55):
This is wild. So I'm not a farmer, but I
play on the radio. So from what I have read
doing some research on this, chickens normally, even though they
like to eat a lot of things, they do not
eat their own eggs. That would be wrong to eat
their own eggs. But occasionally there will be one rogue
(22:18):
chicken that will say, you know, I'm hungry. I would
like to eat my eggs. So they start eating their eggs.
It happens every once in a while. It's an anomaly.
And once the chicken has tasted the contents of eggs,
they continue to eat eggs, so they become a liability.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's like a tiger tasting human and then they get
a taste for it and then they just start hunting humans.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Exactly exactly, or a bear or whatever. So at that point,
that chicken that likes eating eggs is costing the farmer money.
It's a liability, and so the chicken. What do you
think happens with the chicken? The chicken ends up dinner
for the farmer. But the evidence, the way the farmer
knows that which chicken is the one eating the eggs
(23:07):
is because they literally have egg stuck on their face.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ah, that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So caught with egg on your face is it's like
being caught red handed. But the more modern version that
does not involve farming.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
For angelina embryo on the face.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Well, it depends what part of the San Fernando Valley.
Could be something else there, Danny or in Chatsworth. But anyway,
in the in the eight starter, Sauce saw this white
thing flying at my face. In the eighteen forties, the
lower class would go to the vaudevillian theaters and if
(23:48):
they didn't like the show, they would throw tomatoes and
eggs at the actors, and every once in a while
someone would get hit in the face with an egg.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That is awesome, that needs to be brought back. Can
you match if they did that today?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
These athletes in particular, who complain about everything, it's one
hardship after another. And if you started having eggs chucked
from the upper balcony, oh man, man, would that be
something anyway? So that's the main version, and then there's
others involving people that are just disheveled when they eat,
(24:23):
and you know you're at at a restaurant, you're eating
your omelet and you get little piece of eggs stuck
to your face and all that, and you're like, oh,
is that what are you doing? What's up with that?
I don't understand? So that is the idiom of the week,
egg on the face. Thanks to the friend of the show,
our friend Angelina for recommending that. If you would like
(24:44):
to recommend a idiom phrase slogan and you want me
to do a little deep dive in on that on
the dark web and find out where it all came from,
you can contact me any time you want. You can
reach out, scream, shout all that Real fifth Hour at
gmail dive. That's real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
All letters, no numbers. And that's the same email address
(25:05):
for the mail bag. It's the same one we use
for the mail bag on Sunday. So you can send
that in as well and we'll get out on that.
Anything else you want to promote Danny anting at all
on this lovely Saturday in June.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I would love to read some new reviews, some five
star reviews on Apple's podcast page for the show.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That would be nice, Yeah, that would be nice, And
how can we get those reviews, Danny, Well, how would
that work?
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Just go to the description of this very podcast. You'll
see the link. Click on it. It has you make
a user name and then hit the five stars, write
a review. We'll pat you on the back and mail
you out a bunch of nothing. What was that prize
used to give out on.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Those ohime, a lifetime supply nothing And whenever you want nothing,
contact us. We'll send you nothing. And then also a
round trip to nowhere, we'll send you nowhere. So whenever
you want to go nowhere, we'll send you nowhere. We've
got you covered on that, and that's void. Once they
build an air in nowhere, Oklahoma, then that prize is void.
(26:03):
But up until then, we'll send you to nowhere, absolutely nowhere,
right there, And.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Thousands of people are running to the Apple podcast page
right now.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, exactly, And I do want you to know that
this is episode now seven hundred and one. Friday was
our seventh hundredth episodes. Damn now a lot of those are.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
With you, Danny.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I started this with gag on back and I can't
believe there have been seven hundred of these shows. Wow,
I can. It feels like there's three thousand of them,
But that's pretty crazy. It's only a couple days a week.
That we originally did it one day a week, and
then we moved it to a couple days, and then
we did three days, which is what we've done the
last few years. But still seven hundred episodes and only
(26:46):
a few each week. So but time flies, man, just
keeps adding up. We'll get out on that, Danny. Anything
special today? You got going on? Anything you want to
promote here on a Saturday, Any appearances, any promotion you
have anything?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Oh dude, we're totally adulting today. The past few days
we put together some yard sale stuff because my Wifey's
aunt is having a yard sale in Anaheim, California, So
we're gonna get like the Disneyland tourists she doesn't live
far from the park, hopefully to buy our old crap
and give us some decent money for the stuff that
(27:21):
we got out of closets in the garage. We decluttered.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
That's very grown up of you.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Yeah, man, it's gonna be my very first yard sale
as an adult.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Are you gonna put price tags on everything? Or are
you just gonna have you?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
I don't know. Hopefully that's not my department. I'm just
gonna count the money.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
A lot of work yard.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Count all the quarters.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah. The other thing too, about I had a guy
in my neighborhood that explained to me how to properly
do a garage sale and what he would do after
the election. The law, at least in the town that
I live in, I think this is most places. If
the politician, you know those election signs they by the
side of the road, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. If they
don't pick them up within like two days after the election,
(28:06):
anybody can take them. They're free to take. And he
would take those election signs and then put posterboard over
them saying, you know, garage sale with an arrow pointing,
and he'd have like five or six of them, and
he'd put them all over the neighborhood, directing people from
all the different streets to where his garage sale was.
Because people drive around on Saturday morning, yeah, and Sunday
(28:28):
morning looking for those things, and they're not really advertised,
so you just kind of have to look and for
the signs and stuff like that. Hat but he hit
it all. And this guy was like a boss did
he would put like price tags on everything, like he
spent so many hours to put this thing together to
make very little money. I'm sure right he had a
lot of money, but the effort was it was like
(28:49):
he was running Walmart.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
My mom would have fell right into that guy's trap,
because she would wake her butt up early on Saturday
mornings and drive around the neighborhoods looking for these stupid sales,
and she would bring crap home and add it to
the other crap she had in the garage just because
she said she negotiated a great deal on it.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
And then every once in a while, someone will buy
something in a garage sale that goes back to like
the bronze age. Oh yeah right, and you're like.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
They wind up on the antique road Show. I got
this for four dollars at a yard sale, and that's
worth forty five thousand.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Dollars exactly exactly. And my theory is the same as
the person hits the eighteen parlay that they promote that.
The people that are in big garage I call it
big garage. The people that do the big yard sales
I call big garage. They promote that because they want
people to keep buying their crap at garage sales. Much
like the person that hits the eighteen parlay. They know
(29:45):
that there'll be ten million people that don't hit the
eighteen parlay, so in the end they'll come out ahead,
they'll come out head. I have a wonderful rest of
your Saturday. Here, you got the mail bag on Sunday.
Can't wait for that. Always a lot of fun. And
maybe we'll do some pop goes to the culture then.
But that's it for now and we'll talk to you
(30:05):
tomorrow later.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Skater population
Kubbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's the clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
The air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Big Ben
and Danny g Radio. This the Extra Crispy, Extra Spicy
edition of the podcast. A Happy Saturday to you. It's
the eighth day of the month of June, as we
are hanging out together celebrating National best Friends Day. Do
(00:53):
you really need a National best Friends Day? Is that
even a thing?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I don't know whether they say it's a thing, whoever
they are that come up with these these dopey holidays.
But that's the day today. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. It's also
I know, wait a second, did we just become best friends? Well,
we're working together on National best Friends Day? Man, what
did we just become best friends? Yep, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
One of the most underrated comedies of all time Step Brothers.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Yeah, today is also a World Gin Day, you big
gin guy.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Well, I guess when we were teenagers we tried gin
and juice because of Snoop DOGG. Sure, I don't have
a really good taste though.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's international nint Knit in Public Day, k n I
t Nita, Yes, knit in public.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
When you think about hardened criminals serving time behind bars,
you probably don't think about knitting.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Is that something you're supposed to keep private? Is that
something you don't want? It probably is you don't to
let people know that you're a knitter man. Okay, wonderful.
It's also World Ocean's Day, So dive right in, Danny,
jump out in that Pacific ocean and celebrate the ocean
currents that are flowing around us at all times. But
(02:08):
on this podcast here, on this Saturday, we've got Murphy's
Law activated, eight years of bad luck of the idiom
of the week. We have some other things we'll get
to as well, but we'll start with this. So I
mentioned on the Friday podcast that I lost a friend
of mine, TJ. Simers, who was a great media guy,
beloved father, grandfather, all that stuff. TJ died of brain cancer.
(02:33):
So I want to give you a little backstory, and
of course this is just kind of related how everything
comes together. I got a message on Friday night, I
think it was Friday night late that a friend from
Fox Sports Radios passed. His mother had passed away. And
(02:54):
this is somebody that we worked together with, me and
Looney Money, great guy, one of our favorite people in radio.
And keep in mind, this person left Fox Sports Radio
over fifteen years ago. I think it's been almost seventeen
years since they left the company, and yet we still
(03:18):
have this bond, you know. And it's like when you
break bread or you do radio together, it goes one
of two ways. Either you hate him or you love
them for life. Right, it is one of two ways.
And so this is not someone that I talk to
every day, and I don't. I really haven't seen the
person in years, but we're still friends, right, And so
I was like, I know what it's like to lose
a mom, and I know how terrible that is, and
(03:41):
so I wanted to show my support. And so what fine,
I was like, I'll go I get to see Loony,
you know, show my love to my friend. Whose mom
passed away. And so I drove all the way from
where I live in the north Woods, Dandy to the
cemetery was in Mission Hills in the San Fernando Valley.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
That's four hours in traffic.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yes, I mean I had to get up so f
and early. But yes, what are you gonna do. It's
the right thing to do. You want to show support,
you gotta do it. So I did it fine. I'm
not even complaining about that. In fact, I think I
have relatives who were buried in that cemetery. More on
that in a minute. So I get out there and
(04:27):
this is classic Looney. So he tells me that the
service is at noon. So I get out there at
like eleven thirty. Tom Looney owns me I'm his bitch, clearly,
idd I think it was, or you know, he said
twelve thirty, and I got there at noon. I got
there at noon, so you were a half hour early. Yeah.
(04:49):
So I get there and there's no one here. I'm like,
did I just get punked?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Did?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Because I didn't want to announce in case I didn't
make it. I wasn't sure I was going to be
able to make it because it's very hard for me
to get up early. You know what that's like, Danny.
When you work late at night, it's not the easiest
thing to adjust your schedule. So I was like, I
don't know if I'll me. I didn't want to say
anything that I was going to be there, not that
my appearance would matter at all, but I just like, Okay.
So I get there at noon for a twelve thirty service,
(05:18):
and then I find out the service is actually at
like one thirty. Cloney gave me the wrong time, So
now I have an hour to kill at a cemetery
surrounded by people there people have already been killed. Oh
oh my goodness, O MG. Right, So I'm like, oh,
(05:40):
this is great. Just what I wanted to do on
my morning off is sitting in a good damn cemetery
with a bunch of people that have checked out. So fortunately,
the gentleman who I wanted to show my support to,
he actually happened to park next to me, and he
walked over and gave me this quizzical look, like what
(06:01):
are you doing here? Why you here so early? It
was that kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
He's like, there's no party set up or anything like, yeah,
to help me set up balloons and stuff that's going
on here.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah, so we we caught up, and uh, it was
it was great and he actually I don't even know
if this guy worked at Fox Sports Radio when you
were there, Danny. I think you were there after he
was here, but he left and worked with Bill O'Reilly,
of all people, he went into political radio and then
became one of the great strategical minds. I always rip analytics,
(06:36):
but this guy political analytics one of the legends. I'm
not kidding in Washington, d C. He is credited. And
while I might disagree or you know, I don't get
it's not political on myn not political then, but podcast
numbers go down to rating. But he has been credited
because of analytics helping to get Barack Obama elected president.
(06:59):
That he came up with a algorhythm on polling and whatnot.
And I don't even know exactly what went into it.
All I know is politicians, political people love this guy, right,
So it was his mom that passed away.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Fine, So I'm there and and Looney shows up and
we're catching up. I hadn't seen Loony since the TV show.
We were supposed to go out to dinner. He canceled
one time, then I canceled, and we just haven't. We
text all the time. We talked, but we haven't physically
been in the same room since the final episode of
the TV show back before the Super Bowl. So I
(07:34):
caught up with him and then I was like, Wow,
some other some other people that I recognized that from
Fox Sports Radio pass that were there. That was kind
of cool. I feel odd dropping names, though, Danny. It
was at a funeral, so I don't know that I
should really drop names that would be inappropriate, right, That
would be wrong to drop names.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
They're right now?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yeah, all right, Well Looney was there. Dan Byer showed up.
How about that Dan Byer, Fox Sports Radios. Dan Byer
was there. One of our old producers who now works
for the NBA Radio was was there as well.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Andrew Siciliano from our old buddy who's yeah yeah, let
go by NFL Network and he did the Red Zone
show for years on Direct TV.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
Andrew, I love you, but your contract's not in our
current budget.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So it was great to see these people, you know,
not the greatest of situations, obviously, and it was a
very nice, very emotional ceremony. I learned a lot about
my friend's mom. I'd never met her, and I learned
a lot about her life and how, you know, the
great things she did and how wonderful she was moving
all over the country. And it was just a you know,
it was it was a very emotional day and and
(08:46):
it was it was it was cool to be there
and to show support. Cool so right word, But it
was just I felt like it was important to be there,
and so I was happy that I was able to
make it. Uh, we finished up with the the service,
and then this is not stupid, I am okay, I
swear I had been here before. For I think my
uncle and my grandfather are buried in this in the cemetery.
(09:10):
It's a massive cemetery in Mission Hills. It is humongous, right,
So I went on their website. I was like, maybe
I could look up a grave, like they had a database,
because I'm not going to be able to find a grave.
So I was like, man, I wonder to show my respects.
I'm here, I'm not probably not gonna be here again
for a while if ever. So I go on their
(09:31):
website and I could not find a database of where
to locate people that are there hanging out in the
ground forever. So then I was like, in my head,
I remember being here at at the cemetery for my
uncle's funeral, which was like seven years ago. My uncle
Harvey passed away and he was buried there in that cemetery,
(09:54):
and I remember it was on a hill. There was
a tree. So I drove down and I see a
hill with a tree. I'm thinking, well, maybe that's it.
So I park my car. There's no one else in
this part of the cemetery, and I'm now walking to
try to find my uncle's grave and my grandfather's grave.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
You had two hours to look.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I'm walking around, right, and I couldn't find it, and
I'm kind of getting depressed. Any I'm not gonna lie.
I mean, I'm looking at a lot of a lot
of nameplates and a lot of lives and a lot
of people that have come and gone and that's it.
It's over, and you know, people that died years ago.
And it's an old, older cemetery, that part of the cemetery,
(10:37):
and uh, but I never did find it, and you know,
like whatever. So then I get in the car and
I got a long drive. As you know, Danny you
mentioned four hours Mission Hills to the north Woods. There's
no quick way to get there. So I'm driving.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I'm driving.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm driving. It's bumpered, a bumper, to bumpered, A bumper,
A bumper, A bumper, a bumper, And I mean, wow,
this is great. And I had to get back because
I had to get ready for the show. We work
Sunday night into Monday morning, and that's the beginning.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Of my work week.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
So how to get back. So I'm driving. We get
past the seven to ten on the five South and
we're turning right in front of Atlantic. The road kind
of turns a little bit and traffic had picked up,
and all of a sudden it stops. And because I'm
paying attention and not on my phone, I'm able to
(11:28):
stop my car. I stopped boom, just a couple of
inches away from the car in front of me.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
But then I know there's cars behind me.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
So I look in my rear room mirror and this
this like Nissan, I think it was a Nissan, might
have been a toilet. This guy behind me, he pumps
on the brakes and he stopped just inches from my car.
So I'm like, I take a little bit of a
deep breath. But wait a minute, there's another car, this truck,
it's like a Toyota truck, a forerunner. It doesn't stop.
(12:04):
It hits the car behind me. And what happens if
you hit a car and that car, what does that
car do, Danny, is they go forward and backwards.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Domino motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, right into my car. Kubboom, just like that. So
on my way back from a funeral, I get rear
ended and my car there was a lot of personal
Well some people would like that on the whip. I
(12:36):
was more concerned about him giving me a double fish. Anyway,
my car ended up having back end damage. It was
still drivable, but made a lot of weird noises, a
lot of noises, but it was driving. The car behind
me was total.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
You just got done on this podcast telling the story
about the tire blow.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Yes, well, my wife is driving. This was me driving
this time. So we were to get off ilmost got
hit twice trying to get off. I was in the
number two lane and I had to get over two
lanes to get off to the side of the road.
Because they tell you when you get into a minor
accident at the time, I thought it was a minor accident.
I thought I had just gotten rear ended, and I
knew it was a chain reaction thing, but I didn't
think it was that bad. It wasn't until we pulled
(13:16):
over that I saw the car behind me had been totaled.
That it was It was completely that was the lights
out for that car. And we're exchanging information on the
side of the road, you know, and the one guy,
the guy in the truck was a younger dude, and
he had never been in an accident before, and he
was freaking out, you know that first time you're in
an accident, Danny, and you're like, oh my god, oh yeah,
(13:37):
it's like the worst, you know. And then I felt
bad for the guy behind me because I saw him
stop in time, like he stopped and you know, he
did the right thing, and he still got, you know, hit. Anyway,
we exchanged information, so I then get back in the car.
I'm about to turn out onto the highway, get out
on the car and I turned. I took my phone on,
(14:01):
I look at my text and that at that moment,
I get a text TJ has just died. My friend
who had just seen that previous Tuesday, TJ. Simon. So
this is like Murphy's law. I mean, I I'm at
a funeral, which is fine. I felt like it was
a good mitzvah whatever. And then I get to pressed
because I'm looking at all these gravestones. I then get
(14:21):
in the car, get an accident, and then get back
in the car and find out. You know, I mean,
I knew he was gonna die, but I was hoping
he would last a few more months.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And then the dark cloud hanging right above you and
only you started pouring.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Oh my god, Danny, it was one of those It
was one of those days. But hey, you know, live
and well, and the car is in the shop and
I'm driving a rental with South Dakota plates right now.
I'm so excited about that. Just a random rental car
that I have, and.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
It won't be targeted by LAPD and whatsoever. No, not
at all. No, No, what are you doing? You loser?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Are you who's part of tone stranger? So that's my
Murphy's law?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Are you doing in la drug dealer?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No good deed goes unpunished, Danny, But hey, it could
be worse. You could have eight years of bad luck.
That could that could be worse.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
It sounds like this is year one for you. Oh man, Yeah,
so this involves a car as well. I'm driving home
this past Monday. It was a rough, little bit of
a rough start to the week for me. The radio
show was fun, but you know when your body and
I'm not a garlic dude like you, but when you
could tell your body is fighting something off. Yeah, and
(15:38):
you you This had been like going for four days
and over the weekend I slept extra feel better and
over it before I went back to work on Monday.
So Monday afternoon, I'm at work. I'm fine. I'm a
little bit out of it. When I was driving home,
I was feeling like, man, I got to get back
to bed so I can be perfect by Tuesday. So
I pull into our We're rich, me and my wife.
(16:00):
As you know, all people in radio are rich, clearly wrong,
but we have town.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You're an important person, you're a legend.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
You're a radio legend, Danny who We live in townhomes
in LA. You kind of are rich. If you're in
a townhome. We're grandfathered into this one. Thank god. There
are garages. I don't know if you know how townhomes are,
but there's garages right underneath the townhouse. This guy next
door to us, he's got his garage open. We know
(16:28):
this guy well. The walls are thick. Thank god. We
don't hear him or his wife or his drum set.
He's a drummer by profession, goes from gig to gig.
We see him with his drums and stuff. He's pimped
out his garage. Have you ever seen any of your
neighbors ben do a project where they put like the
fancy flooring in their garage and the big mirrors on
their walls.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
And no, I've seen it on TV. I haven't seen it.
I think in this neighborhood where I'm at, my neighbor
has like a treadmill in his garage.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I'm glad you brought that up that you've seen it
on TV. Same our garage. Oh my god, it's been
an ongoing project for me for two years. I'm lucky
to like not have rats and leaves and dead mice
in my garage. This guy, his garage looks like it
should be on HGTV. So I pull in. He's got
two huge mirrors that and I don't know if he's
(17:19):
gonna put some gym equipment in there or what? His
garage doors open a lot. The dry wall got redone
and one huge circle mirror. Now right outside his garage
were two huge rectangular mirrors that I'm guessing he's gonna
put on both sides of the walls in there. I
have to be careful because I have to drive all
the way to the left near his garage to get
(17:41):
the right angle, because he's got a long front nose.
My car does big nose, And.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I'm offensive that you were talking about you that I'm triggered, Danny,
how dare you but talk about the schnazola like that?
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Do you? But it's a it's a very manly nose,
all right. It's a strong nose.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
It's a sexy nose that other women who are into nose.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
Yeah, it's a muscle car.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Are women turned on by noses? Is there a subset
of women that look for a man?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Probably? Probably? Yeah, if it's a strong looking nose.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
I was attracted to the giant metal cock.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
All right.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
So the angle I'm trying to take or I need
to take into this parking space, I'm always about to
clip his garage to the left of me, so I
had to be super careful because I just about clocked
his two mirrors that were leaning up against the side
by his garage. I look back, he's standing there and
I'm like, oh shit, because he saw me almost take
(18:39):
his mirrors out. I park and I get out. I'm like,
oh man, I'm sorry. I you know I have to
get close to your garage like that to be able
to turn it. And he's like, oh, no, worries, and
I get it. I understand. And right as he's saying this,
he knocks one of the two mirrors to the ground.
(19:00):
It shatters in pieces, big sharp shards flying at his feet.
I felt like it was partly my fault. I don't
know why, because I'm not the one that did that. Yes,
I almost hit the mirrors, and I was talking to
him about that, but clumsily he knocked the two that
(19:21):
were leaning one stage, the one closest to the garage
state the one leaning on the other one is the
one that hit the ground and broke into a million pieces.
So I go over. I'm trying to help him. He's like, no, no, no,
don't touch any of these sharp glass pieces leaves. He
comes back. He's got these like garden gloves on. He's
trying to get these pieces off the ground. I couldn't
(19:42):
help but think, Ben, if he has eight years of
bad luck over this, do I inherit some of it? Well?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
No, but he lives right there. You're gonna see it,
assuming you're not gonna move. You said your grandfather in
so I mean at least for a couple of years,
you're gonna Yes, his bad luck is going to be
your bad luck?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Am I an accessory to the crime? You are?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Exactly? Man?
Speaker 3 (20:06):
I felt so. I felt so bad. He was out
there for a good hour picking up all the glass.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Was he cursing your name under his breath as well?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
No, he's a nice guy. He was still nice and everything,
but I could tell he was frustrated. I think he
might have felt better had I just crashed into that mirror,
you know, right, because then he could have blamed somebody
instead of himself.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Well, now, who's who replaces that? He's going to have to?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
You're not really Yeah, I didn't do it. He knocked
into it.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I mean he did it, so you're not worry about that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
But wow, all right for christ Mns, I'll get him
like a handmare.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Sorry about the mirror. You know, here's a little head. Yeah,
here's one. You know, you don't need that big one.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
You can hold this on mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who's the clumsiest of them all?
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Exactly? Time now for the idiom of the week.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Idiom of the week.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
And this also oh by request, our friend Angelina, the
lovely Angelina met her at the Mallor meet and greet
in Minnesota.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
She was very kind.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
She dragged along some of her friends who aren't listeners
of the show, but she wanted them to come and
be part of the event, and we thank her for that.
That was awesome. But it was great to meet her.
But she lives, I would say she lives twin cities adjacent.
How about that twin cities adjacent. Yes, And she writes,
and she wants to know the origin of egg on
(21:28):
the face, Like egg on the face. You know you
get that egg on the face.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
So you have egg on your face?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Radio hosts, Yeah, take that, radio boy, get a napkin
a radio boy. So there's a couple theories on the
origin of egg on the face Angelina. The one that
seems the most likely actually goes back to farming, say, why, yeah, farming,
(21:55):
This is wild. So I'm not a farmer, but I
play on the radio. So from what I have read
doing some research on this, chickens normally, even though they
like to eat a lot of things, they do not
eat their own eggs. That would be wrong to eat
their own eggs. But occasionally there will be one rogue
(22:18):
chicken that will say, you know, I'm hungry. I would
like to eat my eggs. So they start eating their eggs.
It happens every once in a while. It's an anomaly.
And once the chicken has tasted the contents of eggs,
they continue to eat eggs, so they become a liability.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's like a tiger tasting human and then they get
a taste for it and then they just start hunting humans.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Exactly exactly, or a bear or whatever. So at that point,
that chicken that likes eating eggs is costing the farmer money.
It's a liability, and so the chicken. What do you
think happens with the chicken? The chicken ends up dinner
for the farmer. But the evidence, the way the farmer
knows that which chicken is the one eating the eggs
(23:07):
is because they literally have egg stuck on their face.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Ah, that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
So caught with egg on your face is it's like
being caught red handed. But the more modern version that
does not involve farming.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
For angelina embryo on the face.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Well, it depends what part of the San Fernando Valley.
Could be something else there, Danny or in Chatsworth. But anyway,
in the in the eight starter, Sauce saw this white
thing flying at my face. In the eighteen forties, the
lower class would go to the vaudevillian theaters and if
(23:48):
they didn't like the show, they would throw tomatoes and
eggs at the actors, and every once in a while
someone would get hit in the face with an egg.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
That is awesome, that needs to be brought back. Can
you match if they did that today?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
These athletes in particular, who complain about everything, it's one
hardship after another. And if you started having eggs chucked
from the upper balcony, oh man, man, would that be
something anyway? So that's the main version, and then there's
others involving people that are just disheveled when they eat,
(24:23):
and you know you're at at a restaurant, you're eating
your omelet and you get little piece of eggs stuck
to your face and all that, and you're like, oh,
is that what are you doing? What's up with that?
I don't understand? So that is the idiom of the week,
egg on the face. Thanks to the friend of the show,
our friend Angelina for recommending that. If you would like
(24:44):
to recommend a idiom phrase slogan and you want me
to do a little deep dive in on that on
the dark web and find out where it all came from,
you can contact me any time you want. You can
reach out, scream, shout all that Real fifth Hour at
gmail dive. That's real fifth Hour at gmail dot com.
All letters, no numbers. And that's the same email address
(25:05):
for the mail bag. It's the same one we use
for the mail bag on Sunday. So you can send
that in as well and we'll get out on that.
Anything else you want to promote Danny anting at all
on this lovely Saturday in June.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I would love to read some new reviews, some five
star reviews on Apple's podcast page for the show.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
That would be nice, Yeah, that would be nice, And
how can we get those reviews, Danny, Well, how would
that work?
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Just go to the description of this very podcast. You'll
see the link. Click on it. It has you make
a user name and then hit the five stars, write
a review. We'll pat you on the back and mail
you out a bunch of nothing. What was that prize
used to give out on.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Those ohime, a lifetime supply nothing And whenever you want nothing,
contact us. We'll send you nothing. And then also a
round trip to nowhere, we'll send you nowhere. So whenever
you want to go nowhere, we'll send you nowhere. We've
got you covered on that, and that's void. Once they
build an air in nowhere, Oklahoma, then that prize is void.
(26:03):
But up until then, we'll send you to nowhere, absolutely nowhere,
right there, And.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
Thousands of people are running to the Apple podcast page
right now.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah, exactly, And I do want you to know that
this is episode now seven hundred and one. Friday was
our seventh hundredth episodes. Damn now a lot of those are.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
With you, Danny.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
I started this with gag on back and I can't
believe there have been seven hundred of these shows. Wow,
I can. It feels like there's three thousand of them,
But that's pretty crazy. It's only a couple days a week.
That we originally did it one day a week, and
then we moved it to a couple days, and then
we did three days, which is what we've done the
last few years. But still seven hundred episodes and only
(26:46):
a few each week. So but time flies, man, just
keeps adding up. We'll get out on that, Danny. Anything
special today? You got going on? Anything you want to
promote here on a Saturday, Any appearances, any promotion you
have anything?
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Oh dude, we're totally adulting today. The past few days
we put together some yard sale stuff because my Wifey's
aunt is having a yard sale in Anaheim, California, So
we're gonna get like the Disneyland tourists she doesn't live
far from the park, hopefully to buy our old crap
and give us some decent money for the stuff that
(27:21):
we got out of closets in the garage. We decluttered.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
That's very grown up of you.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Yeah, man, it's gonna be my very first yard sale
as an adult.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Are you gonna put price tags on everything? Or are
you just gonna have you?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
I don't know. Hopefully that's not my department. I'm just
gonna count the money.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
A lot of work yard.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Count all the quarters.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah. The other thing too, about I had a guy
in my neighborhood that explained to me how to properly
do a garage sale and what he would do after
the election. The law, at least in the town that
I live in, I think this is most places. If
the politician, you know those election signs they by the
side of the road, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. If they
don't pick them up within like two days after the election,
(28:06):
anybody can take them. They're free to take. And he
would take those election signs and then put posterboard over
them saying, you know, garage sale with an arrow pointing,
and he'd have like five or six of them, and
he'd put them all over the neighborhood, directing people from
all the different streets to where his garage sale was.
Because people drive around on Saturday morning, yeah, and Sunday
(28:28):
morning looking for those things, and they're not really advertised,
so you just kind of have to look and for
the signs and stuff like that. Hat but he hit
it all. And this guy was like a boss did
he would put like price tags on everything, like he
spent so many hours to put this thing together to
make very little money. I'm sure right he had a
lot of money, but the effort was it was like
(28:49):
he was running Walmart.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
My mom would have fell right into that guy's trap,
because she would wake her butt up early on Saturday
mornings and drive around the neighborhoods looking for these stupid sales,
and she would bring crap home and add it to
the other crap she had in the garage just because
she said she negotiated a great deal on it.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
And then every once in a while, someone will buy
something in a garage sale that goes back to like
the bronze age. Oh yeah right, and you're like.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
They wind up on the antique road Show. I got
this for four dollars at a yard sale, and that's
worth forty five thousand.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Dollars exactly exactly. And my theory is the same as
the person hits the eighteen parlay that they promote that.
The people that are in big garage I call it
big garage. The people that do the big yard sales
I call big garage. They promote that because they want
people to keep buying their crap at garage sales. Much
like the person that hits the eighteen parlay. They know
(29:45):
that there'll be ten million people that don't hit the
eighteen parlay, so in the end they'll come out ahead,
they'll come out head. I have a wonderful rest of
your Saturday. Here, you got the mail bag on Sunday.
Can't wait for that. Always a lot of fun. And
maybe we'll do some pop goes to the culture then.
But that's it for now and we'll talk to you
(30:05):
tomorrow later.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Skater population
Host
Ben Maller
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