February 21, 2025 • 31 mins
Ben Maller (produced by Danny G.) has a fun Friday for you! Ben talks: Sticky Buns, the Dummy Run, Political Theater, Foodie Fun, & Word(s) of the Week!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Mahller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio, who is away producing this
podcast but not not cracking the powerful microphones of the
Fifth Hour Podcast. On this Friday, we have made it
to another weekend. The talk does not stop, as you
(00:50):
know from the shameless promotion by Bill Miller, who gives
us more promotion than anyone else for the Fifth Hour Podcast.
This podcast only available right here. It's not broadcast on
terrestrial radio like the Overnight Show. As we celebrate a
very important holiday for me. I don't eat this very often,
(01:11):
but when I do, I have a smile from ear
to ear. It is National Sticky Bun Day. That's right,
an entire day to celebrate the sticky bun, which is
one of the great things about being alive. The sticky
bun a confection that is Philadelphian of nature. It was
(01:34):
brought to the United States by German immigrants in the
eighteenth century. And one of the producers on Benny Versus
the Penny, this guy John Good. Dude, dude, good like
lifetime TV dude, you know, old school TV guy. And
so John lives in Philadelphia and he helps on the
TV show during the you know, the football seasons. Obviously
we don't do it now. And John loves to talk
(01:56):
about Philadelphia pretzels. He loves talk about pretzel. But the
sticky bun also a Philadelphia treat from the German settlers
back in the eighteenth century. Normally you think you have
the sticky bun with breakfast, but you know, sometimes the
cinnamon rolls, but carmel rolls, monkey bread and all the
(02:17):
different names. But the sticky buns originally were known as Schnannecken.
I think I'm saying that properly. I think I believe
I'm correct on that. They go back to the eighteenth century,
but German settlers in the Dutch Pennsylvania area brought them
(02:37):
over and the rest, as they say, is history. So
celebrate appropriately a very important day, the sticky Bun Day,
which I can go for the walnut ones. You know,
last time I ate one was at the airport where
(02:58):
was I was in South Carolina, I believe, at a
small airport and they had the cinemon. I hated the
cinebun place there, which is the only time I eat
cinnamon is at the airport. And liked it. Liked it.
How do you not like it? I mean, that was great.
It was a great way. You get on the plane.
You're good to go. It's outstanding, outstanding. So on this
(03:21):
edition of the Fifth Hour podcast, on this Friday, we
got the dummy run, political theater, foody fun, and the
word or words of the week. That's right, all of
that coming your way right now, and we begin with
the week that was on the Ben mal Show, the
(03:43):
original Recipe show. As it has come to an end,
the radio program. It was not like pulling teeth there
and all things consider. I got this email from Blind
Scott Who's like, well, this is the greatest time of
the year because it's all about the callers now there's
not much sports going on. And I got all these
(04:03):
these people who are like he wasn't the only one.
There were several other people who reached out to me. So, oh,
this is great because you don't really have a lot
to talk about. And this is the part that I
kind of like because I've pointed this out before. First
of all, anyone can do sports talk radio. It's not
that hard, right, It's not that difficult. Now the question
is can you do it well? Can you put the
(04:25):
work in and master the craft, And there's not that
many people that can do it. I'm still trying to
master the craft. But this time of the year I
think is more fun because there's a lot of people
that get exposed and it's neat because if you don't
put the work in, it's like the vampire exposed to garlic,
right or sunlight. You know, under normal circumstances, daylight can
(04:51):
be very harmful to vampires. If vampires were real, it
would be a big problem. And for sports talk show hosts,
this time of the year when things slow down in
the NFL is a problem. It's an issue, right, And
so you got to kind of work your way through it.
And I laughed because when I first started, I mean,
(05:13):
I've been doing it for a while now, but when
I first started in the radio business, we got almost
all of our sports news from these things called newspapers.
And I remember when I worked at the station in
San Diego, we had an AP sports wire and a
sports ticker and they would update breaking news bulletins and
all this stuff, and we had that. That was the
(05:35):
way we got our news. Lee Hacksaw Hamilton, it was
my mentor in radio. He would get a bunch of
newspapers delivered and he'd scroll through them and cut out
different parts, and that's how we got the information. But
now there's never a slow that you might not like
the inventory, but there's always inventory. You might say, there's
(05:56):
not a lot of meat on the bone, but we've
got potatoes, and we have really good potatoes. You have
country fried potatoes, We've got potato wedges. Those are outstanding.
So maybe you don't like the meat's not really there,
but we've got the potatoes. And then we have dessert.
We've got some apple pie, and the apple pie is good.
(06:17):
Who doesn't like apple pie? So the point listen if
you if you want it varies because every day there
are self promoting athletes that go on social media and
do stuff. For example, this week, I squeezed out parts
of Mala monologues on Vladimir Guerrero Junior of the Toronto
(06:39):
Blue Jays, and he liked a photoshop of him as
a Yankee. Boom right there. That's part of a Mala monologue.
But this is only something that could happen in the
modern era. A story like that would not have possibly
happened back in the olden days, but in modern times,
those kind of things happen all the time. There's or
(07:00):
that I didn't mention on the show that I had
considered it was under review to be part of a
mal monologue, but did not reach the threshold to be
a Mala monologue or in it. And that was the
random emoji that was sent out by the Cheetah, the
(07:21):
random emoji sent out by Tyreek Hill. And he's having
a mid career crisis, or maybe a late career crisis.
It certainly seems he's a bit miserable in Miami. So
that did not end up as a mologe. So there
is stuff that we didn't even get to that would
(07:42):
have been pretty good, would have been pretty good now.
The stuff that we normally have during the NFL season,
which creates a primal scream, you know, that visceral reaction.
Not too much of that. The story though, that we
did just last night, Friday, the Friday, overnight, Thursday and
a Friday a perfect example of the zeitgeist. And I
(08:10):
call it the I call it the hockey cult. I
call it the hockey cult. So I get message. There's
two or three people that have consistently emailed me over
the years who listen. For some reason. I don't have
the foggiest inkling why they listen, because all they do
is complain. You know you should when Eddie was working,
(08:32):
you should give Eddie more time. Why don't you give
any more time? Eddie's the hockey guy. Eddie should talk
he knows hockey. And then they'll be like, there's a
big story you should have talked about hockey. Why didn't
you do a monologue about hockey? So they get all upset,
and anytime there's a hockey story that they think should
have been on the show, they get very upset. Their namored.
They love hockey, they worship hockey, right, they're the hockey cult,
(08:53):
Hockey forever, hockey truthers, whatever. So I usually don't even
write back I'm like, okay, whatever, you're complaining yet again.
So I decided, since everyone's joned up about the four
Nations tournament that took place over the last ten days
or so, I was like, all right, you know what
(09:15):
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I'm gonna dust off the
cobwebs and I'm gonna settle in here and do a
little hot hockey. And I watched the game. And it's
not like I don't watch hockey. I do. But we
point out and this really annoys the hockey cult. Boy
do they get upset. They do not like what I'm
about to say. And this, this really is a tinderbox comment.
(09:38):
What I'm about to say. I point out that we
do broadcasting, not narrow casting, and that right there is
a powder keg and it's a When I bring that up,
it's an explosive combination. People get very upset and they
start blubbering and bursting into tears, and you get all emotional.
I love my hockey. I can't believe it. I'm like,
(09:58):
oh yeah, yeah, So I just want to tell you
behind the scenes, right behind the microphone, what goes on.
But behind the scenes, and so I watched the hockey game,
and it was a competitive game where I went to overtime.
Connor McDavid scored the overtime game winner for the Canadians
and they win the game. And so that was a
(10:19):
buzzkill for those of us here in America. And so
I did my monologue in about fifteen sixteen minutes on hockey,
and of course what happened the hockey cult the same
people that send me messages saying I should have talked
about this, that and the other thing. These people are
(10:40):
in a total meltdown. My theory is it wasn't because
of anything that I did. They were upset because they
really believed that Team USA was going to win and
that was a reality check for them, and they had
anger because they expected the American team to win. And
so rather than just eat Humble Pie, they said, you
(11:02):
know what we're gonna do. We're gonna weaponize and attack
the idiot on the radio, and they did.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
They were sending me nasty messages in that the hockey
cult did not enjoy the dummy run, and I felt
like I should have said somewhere I don't think we're
allowed to. But the you know, the test I don't
think they use this anymore. But this is a test.
For the next sixty seconds, this station will conduct a
test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test.
(11:29):
I want to say, this is this, I'll change the words.
This is the Ben Malor Show. This is a test.
For the next sixty seconds, the Ben Maler Show will
conducted test of the emergency hockey broadcast system. This is
only a test. And then that's it. And so like
people want to throw me into the the penalty box
and admonish me, and I thought, I was fine, this
(11:52):
is not It was a hockey monologue. I talked about
the game. I mentioned some of the storylines around the game,
which to me were pretty interesting. I don't believe that's
a game misconduct penalty or anything like that. Is it's fine,
and we move on. So I will talk hockey if
(12:14):
something happens that I feel rises up to the level
of a malad monologue about hockey. The bar is very
high because it's again, it's broadcasting, not narrow casting. That's
the thing that triggers triggers many who are in the
hockey cult. And I don't even know how you end
(12:35):
up in the hockey cult. I would imagine it starts
in childhood, and it's really non negotiable. You're inflexible when
you're part of the hockey cult and you love the
hockey dogma, and you evangelize about hockey and you try
to convert people. But yet when they talk about hockey
and they come over to your beliefs, you're annoyed by them.
(12:58):
That troubles you even know your life's mission is to
get people who aren't hardcore hockey people to follow your teachings.
And when that happens and you've converted someone at least
for a night, and you've done that, it's still not
good enough. It's still still not good enough. But I
(13:19):
digress now. That dummy run I thought went pretty well.
The people that are the hockey cult people didn't like it.
I did have the most calls I've ever had. I've
been doing this show for a long time, and maybe
you've been listening for a long time. I don't know
how long you've been with me on the show, but
we're kind of a weird family here. Some people have
been with me a long time, a short time. It
doesn't matter. We're in this together, right work in the
(13:42):
third shift. So I bring this up because we had
more calls from Canada in that first hour, really first
couple hours of the show than I have ever had
in many I mean, I've noticed again many years, I've
never had that many cous and Fox Sports Radio is
a absolute blow torch. It is a supersonic missile in terms
(14:07):
of clearance, and we're very lucky to have that bully pulpit,
if you will, and we're cleared everywhere late at night.
So we're on like six hundred radio stations or something
on that number, and we're on all over Canada obviously
from coast to coast. In America, we're on the American
Forces Network, and so it's available for those at ships
(14:30):
at sea and whatnot, and you can hear the show.
So that's that's pretty cool. I think that's that's pretty
neat that people can hear it all over the world.
And we have a lot of military people that call
the show, usually are military contractors that live on bases
(14:51):
or around bases. I'm not sure how all that works.
I'm not a military person, but based on what I've
gotten feedback wise over the years, a number of the
people maybe their former military and they bring their family
to Germany or somewhere in Asia, in Korea or whatever,
and so they listened to the different radio shows from
(15:14):
back home. Now, the calls we took in Canada, there
was a common theme from the calls that we took
in Canada. I don't know if you noticed the common
theme or not. It was hard not to notice pretty
much every single person from Canada that called up, and
very nice people, very very nice people from Canada, but
(15:35):
they all were ready to hit the panic button because
of President Trump talking about making Canada the fifty first date. Now.
I heard what he said, and I chuckled, because a
lot of what President Trump does is to just try
to get headlines and kind of goof around with people.
(15:58):
And you know, we minded people freak out over everything, right,
they just freak out, and mostly media dopes. They just
lose their mind over everything he does because they're convinced
everything is legit and all that stuff. And so the
fifty first state thing, I couldn't believe how many people
from from Canada were like, that's what they brought up.
(16:21):
They're like, oh man, just like thegit and I thought
it was a joke. I don't foreshadow in the next
four years, Canada becoming part of America. Not that stranger
things haven't happened. I get that, it's it was amusing
to me. I found it amusing and somewhat troubling that
(16:42):
that volume of people are like, hey, I kind of
think this is gonna happen. And then you had that
true dog character, that that dope, and he was prodding
the story, trying to get some headlines even though he's
out right he's resigned. I thought, when you resign, you
gotta leave radio. When you said I'm leaving, you don't
really get that final couple of the shows. That's it.
(17:06):
You're pretty much done at that point. But it was
great to hear I fro McCall's we're on all over Vancouver, Edmonton, Winnipeg,
where else are we on there? We've been on and
off in a lot of these places. Ottawa, we are
on in Toronto, all over Ontario, Montreal, so we've got
(17:29):
some good clearance on Fox Sports Radio all over Canada.
And all it took was me to do a mala
monologue about hockey, and they were raising up the Canadian flag,
loving it and in honor of Canada. This is not
a This is not a list for Terry and England.
This is a big board. It's Big Ben's Big board
(17:51):
of amazing factoids from Canada. Is it true that the
Vikings visited Canada several hundred years ahead of Christopher Columbus?
That is true. Legend has it the Vikings arrived in
Canada in one thy twenty one. How about that? Yeah,
(18:14):
there you go. They settled on the northern side of
Newfoundland and just passed Greenland and they said, we've arrived here,
we are now. The first explorer to reach Canada was
in fourteen ninety seven some Italian dude. He was born
in Italy and he traveled to England and secured the
(18:37):
ships there and ended up traveling around. He was trying
to find a shorter route or route to Asia, and
he landed in Newfoundland and that's where he was. The
coldest recorded temperature in Canada in snag Yukon it is
(19:01):
sixty three selfies celsius. So what does that mean in
American terminology? Meaning fahrenheit? So that's just some malord math here,
I mean type this in here Malard math. You're listening
Live to the Fifth Hour Live on tape to the
(19:22):
fifth hour. So let's see if it's if it's sixty
three minus sixty three, selfies, I'm using this is big
time broadcasting. Metric conversion is what I'm doing. This is
big all right. So if it's minus sixty three, that
(19:42):
would be minus eighty one fahrenheit. Wow, minus eighty one
point four fahrenheit. And that's the coldest temperature. And is
that not worthy Terry in England of being on Big
Ben's Big Board of Canadian fun Facts. I believe it is,
I believe, and this is in honor of our many
(20:02):
Canadian listeners as we are blatantly sucking up to our
friends in Canada. Now, Canada has two national sports. We
all know hockey because that's the big one, that's the
bigin But in the summer, lacrosse is the official sport,
although it hasn't been the sport for that long in
my lifetime. When I was a kid, they didn't have
a summer sport. But the Parliament in Canada made it
(20:25):
the official summer sport in nineteen ninety four. In nineteen
ninety four, what else? Canada has the fourth longest highway
in the world. We're number four the Trans Canada Highway,
which is four eight hundred and sixty miles. It takes
about one hundred and six hours of non stop driving,
(20:49):
and so you can enjoy that. Canada has the record
for the most lakes in the world, eight hundred and
seventy nine thousand lakes. Many of them are undiscovered and
unresearched because a lot of Canada is changing because of
the Glacier melts, and most of Canada is non human friendly,
(21:15):
non human friendly. Quebec is the most, well, not the most.
It's the only walled city left in North America and
it's been around now for four hundred almost four hundred
and twenty years. And Charles Dickens, the Great Charles Dixon Dickens,
(21:38):
rather Charles Dickens, called it the Gibraltar of North America.
So there you go. There's a fun fact. And Hawaiian
pizza was invented in Canada by a Greek dude. Yeah,
the great Hawaiian not from Hawaii, from Canada. Oh, come
(22:03):
my home and native but to me. We mentioned this
in a previous episode. The most important contribution our friends
in Canada have given us poutine. Poutine which was invented
in the nineteen fifties in Quebec. Now, if things go
well later this year, I plan on visiting Montreal, and
if I'm in Montreal, I am going to try to
(22:26):
find the birthplace of the poutine. And it started in
the nineteen fifties. It was not until the nineties that
the rest of Canada got on the gravy train, literally
the cheese curd potato gravy train. So it took about
forty years for that to become a big old deal,
(22:49):
a big old deal. Moving on from that, we turned
the page and it is now time for a staple,
an absolute staple of this show. And what is that?
That would be the word of the week, the word
of the work. That's right, the word of the week,
(23:11):
and the word of the week. This week, fraz was
sent in, let me get the name here, la la l.
That would be Eric. Eric is a p one, he says.
He listens most of the time to the podcast, but
usually once a month he's up late. And Eric lives
(23:32):
in Atlanta, or he says outside Atlanta. Well, Eric, thank
you for listening. God bless you great airport there in Atlanta.
I know Sports with Coleman gets annoyed when I say
great airport. I've had good experiences there. I've not been
there when the weather's bad, but I've had always good
experiences when I've been to the Atlanta Airport. So thank
you for having a good airport, Eric, And he said, Hitchcockian.
(23:56):
He want to know more about the word HITCHCOCKI, in
which I think is raph. They're obvious, Eric, it's a
word that is taken from the last name of Alfred Hitchcock,
the famous you know in Hollywood back in his day
in the nineteen I said, go back to like the
nineteen thirties. Really the early domination of Hollywood. Alfred Hitchcock
(24:18):
was a big deal, a really big deal, and such
a big deal that his last name, a legendary Hollywood
director from the nineteen thirties, almost one hundred years ago,
ended up in the Oxford Dictionary. And it's, you know,
a thriller, suspense story, it's Hitchcockian or a Hitchcocky in drama,
(24:43):
I believe, is what I usually say, Eric when I
when I reference it. And it's just really anything described
as Hitchcockian is of that genre. And it started popping up.
The term actually goes back to the nineteen thirty I
guess so, Hitchcock, I must have been doing stuff in
the nineteen twenties. It was just around the release of
(25:05):
his third movie, a silent thriller called The Lodger, the
Story of the London Fog, and it started popping up
and it ended up as a word in the dictionary.
And while I was researching that Eric who lives in
the suburbs of Atlanta, I noticed the phrase Orwellian, which
(25:31):
is also named after It's somebody's name that became a thing.
So I think we've had this in the past, but
I just saw this and I wanted to bring it
up again because it's come up a lot, certainly in
the last five years. During the pandemic, there was a
lot of stuff going on and people said was Orwellian.
The government overreached, the police state that was going on
(25:51):
in America and still going on, was Orwellian. And so
that phrase is a tribute to George Orwell's name because
it's synonymous with the dystopian authoritarian society that he would
write about in nineteen eighty nine. And Orwellian has been
(26:15):
around since around the nineteen fifties and there was a writer,
Norman Mahler, not Ma Mahler, who used the term in
a book in nineteen fifty nine, and it's been used
off and on ever since. I will tell you that
it's certainly been used more in recent years. But thank
(26:36):
you Eric for downloading the podcast, and for now you
are a show contributor, so you can brag your wife,
who you say hates the show, and you can say, hey,
not only do you hate the show, but now you
can double hate the show because I'm now a contributor
to the Fifth Hour podcast and my name is Eric,
and I don't know your last name, Eric, i'd say it,
I don't know it, but thank you. Meanwhile, we have
(27:00):
I have foody Fun. Allay for food e fun, Allay
for food e fun. Yes, we love to eat. I
used to love to eat. Now I don't eat very much.
These are some food stories headlines got to help you
boys out. And there's one that immediately jumps off the pitch. Now,
this restaurant is not located everywhere. I realize that they're
(27:20):
not widespread because it's more of a Western chain. But
Jack in the Box, What's in the box? Jack in
the box? Jack in the Box celebrating their seventy fourth anniversary,
and what better way, what better way to celebrate that
than with a seventy four cent jumbo jack deal. It
is available this weekend, so if you live near a
(27:42):
Jack in the Box, it's only available on the app
and online through the end of the weekend. Today's the
twenty first. It goes through Sunday, and so if you
want to get that seventy four cent jumble jack. Again,
the issue, this has been a long standing issue, is
you want any of this stuff. Every restaurant wants to
track you in in order to get a seventy four
(28:02):
cent burger, you have to allow them to track you
and have the app. So it's a quid pro quo.
As they like to say, it's my Latin. Sounds like
I'm very knowledgeable and I use Latin now can Tucky
Fried Chicken, better known by their gangster name KFC. They
recently introduced a new Korean barbecue loaded Fries bowl which
(28:23):
looks absolutely amazing Korean barbecue, mac and cheese and it's awesome,
just covering the fries. Available for a limited time exclusively
through the app and online like everything else, And if
you want to pig out and be a hawser piggy,
Piggy piggy. Golden Coral is where you need to go,
(28:48):
and they have the all you can eat steak and
butterfly shrimp deal which is back. It's available only on weekdays,
of course, because on the weekends forget about it. But
on weekdays after four pm it'll go all the way
till April sixth. So you got the last week here
of February, you got all the month of March in
(29:10):
a little bit in April, and they claim overwhelming demand.
I don't know about that, but Golden Crowd welcoming back.
The all you can eat steak and butterfly shrimp thing
now is part of the offer. You get unlimited portions.
They claim a perfectly seasoned and grilled sirline paired with
endless servings of jumbo butterfly shrimp and fry doing golden crisp.
(29:35):
Well fine, I don't need the shrimp, but the steak
sounds good. And it looks like they have a mashed
potatoes thing taco bell again, that was a Golden Craw
Taco bell. They've got the new Milk Bar Birthday Cake
Truro which looks like it'll give you diabetes, but man,
it looks good. Jack in the Box also has a
box fries New Banana French Toasticks in the Box fries
(30:02):
banana like it's banana French toast, but it's in like
a fry box or something like that. So there you go.
Some of the food stories there some other stuff, but
that's those are the main ones. Those are the main ones.
Danny g should be with me on Saturday. I will
see if he can make it or not. I don't know.
Work out the schedule and we'll get the mail bag
on Sundays Sunday Sunday. Thank you for supporting the podcast
(30:26):
and being part of the madness of it all. Have
a wonderful rest of your Friday, and don't forget we're
here for you. On Saturday and Sunday, we'll have original podcast.
I will wave the magic wand and we'll have amazing
fun unless we don't, but we'll get to all of
(30:47):
that as we get through the weekend, and we'll get
you next time later. Skater asta pasta? Is that all
Danny did I miss? I don't think I'm right. I
think that's all of them. Yeah, now, all right, I'm
gonna I'm gonna go lay down and take a nap.
I'll be back tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Gotta murder, Gotta go,
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to clearinghouse of
hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(00:23):
with Ben Mahller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mahler and Danny g Radio, who is away producing this
podcast but not not cracking the powerful microphones of the
Fifth Hour Podcast. On this Friday, we have made it
to another weekend. The talk does not stop, as you
(00:50):
know from the shameless promotion by Bill Miller, who gives
us more promotion than anyone else for the Fifth Hour Podcast.
This podcast only available right here. It's not broadcast on
terrestrial radio like the Overnight Show. As we celebrate a
very important holiday for me. I don't eat this very often,
(01:11):
but when I do, I have a smile from ear
to ear. It is National Sticky Bun Day. That's right,
an entire day to celebrate the sticky bun, which is
one of the great things about being alive. The sticky
bun a confection that is Philadelphian of nature. It was
(01:34):
brought to the United States by German immigrants in the
eighteenth century. And one of the producers on Benny Versus
the Penny, this guy John Good. Dude, dude, good like
lifetime TV dude, you know, old school TV guy. And
so John lives in Philadelphia and he helps on the
TV show during the you know, the football seasons. Obviously
we don't do it now. And John loves to talk
(01:56):
about Philadelphia pretzels. He loves talk about pretzel. But the
sticky bun also a Philadelphia treat from the German settlers
back in the eighteenth century. Normally you think you have
the sticky bun with breakfast, but you know, sometimes the
cinnamon rolls, but carmel rolls, monkey bread and all the
(02:17):
different names. But the sticky buns originally were known as Schnannecken.
I think I'm saying that properly. I think I believe
I'm correct on that. They go back to the eighteenth century,
but German settlers in the Dutch Pennsylvania area brought them
(02:37):
over and the rest, as they say, is history. So
celebrate appropriately a very important day, the sticky Bun Day,
which I can go for the walnut ones. You know,
last time I ate one was at the airport where
(02:58):
was I was in South Carolina, I believe, at a
small airport and they had the cinemon. I hated the
cinebun place there, which is the only time I eat
cinnamon is at the airport. And liked it. Liked it.
How do you not like it? I mean, that was great.
It was a great way. You get on the plane.
You're good to go. It's outstanding, outstanding. So on this
(03:21):
edition of the Fifth Hour podcast, on this Friday, we
got the dummy run, political theater, foody fun, and the
word or words of the week. That's right, all of
that coming your way right now, and we begin with
the week that was on the Ben mal Show, the
(03:43):
original Recipe show. As it has come to an end,
the radio program. It was not like pulling teeth there
and all things consider. I got this email from Blind
Scott Who's like, well, this is the greatest time of
the year because it's all about the callers now there's
not much sports going on. And I got all these
(04:03):
these people who are like he wasn't the only one.
There were several other people who reached out to me. So, oh,
this is great because you don't really have a lot
to talk about. And this is the part that I
kind of like because I've pointed this out before. First
of all, anyone can do sports talk radio. It's not
that hard, right, It's not that difficult. Now the question
is can you do it well? Can you put the
(04:25):
work in and master the craft, And there's not that
many people that can do it. I'm still trying to
master the craft. But this time of the year I
think is more fun because there's a lot of people
that get exposed and it's neat because if you don't
put the work in, it's like the vampire exposed to garlic,
right or sunlight. You know, under normal circumstances, daylight can
(04:51):
be very harmful to vampires. If vampires were real, it
would be a big problem. And for sports talk show hosts,
this time of the year when things slow down in
the NFL is a problem. It's an issue, right, And
so you got to kind of work your way through it.
And I laughed because when I first started, I mean,
(05:13):
I've been doing it for a while now, but when
I first started in the radio business, we got almost
all of our sports news from these things called newspapers.
And I remember when I worked at the station in
San Diego, we had an AP sports wire and a
sports ticker and they would update breaking news bulletins and
all this stuff, and we had that. That was the
(05:35):
way we got our news. Lee Hacksaw Hamilton, it was
my mentor in radio. He would get a bunch of
newspapers delivered and he'd scroll through them and cut out
different parts, and that's how we got the information. But
now there's never a slow that you might not like
the inventory, but there's always inventory. You might say, there's
(05:56):
not a lot of meat on the bone, but we've
got potatoes, and we have really good potatoes. You have
country fried potatoes, We've got potato wedges. Those are outstanding.
So maybe you don't like the meat's not really there,
but we've got the potatoes. And then we have dessert.
We've got some apple pie, and the apple pie is good.
(06:17):
Who doesn't like apple pie? So the point listen if
you if you want it varies because every day there
are self promoting athletes that go on social media and
do stuff. For example, this week, I squeezed out parts
of Mala monologues on Vladimir Guerrero Junior of the Toronto
(06:39):
Blue Jays, and he liked a photoshop of him as
a Yankee. Boom right there. That's part of a Mala monologue.
But this is only something that could happen in the
modern era. A story like that would not have possibly
happened back in the olden days, but in modern times,
those kind of things happen all the time. There's or
(07:00):
that I didn't mention on the show that I had
considered it was under review to be part of a
mal monologue, but did not reach the threshold to be
a Mala monologue or in it. And that was the
random emoji that was sent out by the Cheetah, the
(07:21):
random emoji sent out by Tyreek Hill. And he's having
a mid career crisis, or maybe a late career crisis.
It certainly seems he's a bit miserable in Miami. So
that did not end up as a mologe. So there
is stuff that we didn't even get to that would
(07:42):
have been pretty good, would have been pretty good now.
The stuff that we normally have during the NFL season,
which creates a primal scream, you know, that visceral reaction.
Not too much of that. The story though, that we
did just last night, Friday, the Friday, overnight, Thursday and
a Friday a perfect example of the zeitgeist. And I
(08:10):
call it the I call it the hockey cult. I
call it the hockey cult. So I get message. There's
two or three people that have consistently emailed me over
the years who listen. For some reason. I don't have
the foggiest inkling why they listen, because all they do
is complain. You know you should when Eddie was working,
(08:32):
you should give Eddie more time. Why don't you give
any more time? Eddie's the hockey guy. Eddie should talk
he knows hockey. And then they'll be like, there's a
big story you should have talked about hockey. Why didn't
you do a monologue about hockey? So they get all upset,
and anytime there's a hockey story that they think should
have been on the show, they get very upset. Their namored.
They love hockey, they worship hockey, right, they're the hockey cult,
(08:53):
Hockey forever, hockey truthers, whatever. So I usually don't even
write back I'm like, okay, whatever, you're complaining yet again.
So I decided, since everyone's joned up about the four
Nations tournament that took place over the last ten days
or so, I was like, all right, you know what
(09:15):
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna I'm gonna dust off the
cobwebs and I'm gonna settle in here and do a
little hot hockey. And I watched the game. And it's
not like I don't watch hockey. I do. But we
point out and this really annoys the hockey cult. Boy
do they get upset. They do not like what I'm
about to say. And this, this really is a tinderbox comment.
(09:38):
What I'm about to say. I point out that we
do broadcasting, not narrow casting, and that right there is
a powder keg and it's a When I bring that up,
it's an explosive combination. People get very upset and they
start blubbering and bursting into tears, and you get all emotional.
I love my hockey. I can't believe it. I'm like,
(09:58):
oh yeah, yeah, So I just want to tell you
behind the scenes, right behind the microphone, what goes on.
But behind the scenes, and so I watched the hockey game,
and it was a competitive game where I went to overtime.
Connor McDavid scored the overtime game winner for the Canadians
and they win the game. And so that was a
(10:19):
buzzkill for those of us here in America. And so
I did my monologue in about fifteen sixteen minutes on hockey,
and of course what happened the hockey cult the same
people that send me messages saying I should have talked
about this, that and the other thing. These people are
(10:40):
in a total meltdown. My theory is it wasn't because
of anything that I did. They were upset because they
really believed that Team USA was going to win and
that was a reality check for them, and they had
anger because they expected the American team to win. And
so rather than just eat Humble Pie, they said, you
(11:02):
know what we're gonna do. We're gonna weaponize and attack
the idiot on the radio, and they did.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
They were sending me nasty messages in that the hockey
cult did not enjoy the dummy run, and I felt
like I should have said somewhere I don't think we're
allowed to. But the you know, the test I don't
think they use this anymore. But this is a test.
For the next sixty seconds, this station will conduct a
test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test.
(11:29):
I want to say, this is this, I'll change the words.
This is the Ben Malor Show. This is a test.
For the next sixty seconds, the Ben Maler Show will
conducted test of the emergency hockey broadcast system. This is
only a test. And then that's it. And so like
people want to throw me into the the penalty box
and admonish me, and I thought, I was fine, this
(11:52):
is not It was a hockey monologue. I talked about
the game. I mentioned some of the storylines around the game,
which to me were pretty interesting. I don't believe that's
a game misconduct penalty or anything like that. Is it's fine,
and we move on. So I will talk hockey if
(12:14):
something happens that I feel rises up to the level
of a malad monologue about hockey. The bar is very
high because it's again, it's broadcasting, not narrow casting. That's
the thing that triggers triggers many who are in the
hockey cult. And I don't even know how you end
(12:35):
up in the hockey cult. I would imagine it starts
in childhood, and it's really non negotiable. You're inflexible when
you're part of the hockey cult and you love the
hockey dogma, and you evangelize about hockey and you try
to convert people. But yet when they talk about hockey
and they come over to your beliefs, you're annoyed by them.
(12:58):
That troubles you even know your life's mission is to
get people who aren't hardcore hockey people to follow your teachings.
And when that happens and you've converted someone at least
for a night, and you've done that, it's still not
good enough. It's still still not good enough. But I
(13:19):
digress now. That dummy run I thought went pretty well.
The people that are the hockey cult people didn't like it.
I did have the most calls I've ever had. I've
been doing this show for a long time, and maybe
you've been listening for a long time. I don't know
how long you've been with me on the show, but
we're kind of a weird family here. Some people have
been with me a long time, a short time. It
doesn't matter. We're in this together, right work in the
(13:42):
third shift. So I bring this up because we had
more calls from Canada in that first hour, really first
couple hours of the show than I have ever had
in many I mean, I've noticed again many years, I've
never had that many cous and Fox Sports Radio is
a absolute blow torch. It is a supersonic missile in terms
(14:07):
of clearance, and we're very lucky to have that bully pulpit,
if you will, and we're cleared everywhere late at night.
So we're on like six hundred radio stations or something
on that number, and we're on all over Canada obviously
from coast to coast. In America, we're on the American
Forces Network, and so it's available for those at ships
(14:30):
at sea and whatnot, and you can hear the show.
So that's that's pretty cool. I think that's that's pretty
neat that people can hear it all over the world.
And we have a lot of military people that call
the show, usually are military contractors that live on bases
(14:51):
or around bases. I'm not sure how all that works.
I'm not a military person, but based on what I've
gotten feedback wise over the years, a number of the
people maybe their former military and they bring their family
to Germany or somewhere in Asia, in Korea or whatever,
and so they listened to the different radio shows from
(15:14):
back home. Now, the calls we took in Canada, there
was a common theme from the calls that we took
in Canada. I don't know if you noticed the common
theme or not. It was hard not to notice pretty
much every single person from Canada that called up, and
very nice people, very very nice people from Canada, but
(15:35):
they all were ready to hit the panic button because
of President Trump talking about making Canada the fifty first date. Now.
I heard what he said, and I chuckled, because a
lot of what President Trump does is to just try
to get headlines and kind of goof around with people.
(15:58):
And you know, we minded people freak out over everything, right,
they just freak out, and mostly media dopes. They just
lose their mind over everything he does because they're convinced
everything is legit and all that stuff. And so the
fifty first state thing, I couldn't believe how many people
from from Canada were like, that's what they brought up.
(16:21):
They're like, oh man, just like thegit and I thought
it was a joke. I don't foreshadow in the next
four years, Canada becoming part of America. Not that stranger
things haven't happened. I get that, it's it was amusing
to me. I found it amusing and somewhat troubling that
(16:42):
that volume of people are like, hey, I kind of
think this is gonna happen. And then you had that
true dog character, that that dope, and he was prodding
the story, trying to get some headlines even though he's
out right he's resigned. I thought, when you resign, you
gotta leave radio. When you said I'm leaving, you don't
really get that final couple of the shows. That's it.
(17:06):
You're pretty much done at that point. But it was
great to hear I fro McCall's we're on all over Vancouver, Edmonton, Winnipeg,
where else are we on there? We've been on and
off in a lot of these places. Ottawa, we are
on in Toronto, all over Ontario, Montreal, so we've got
(17:29):
some good clearance on Fox Sports Radio all over Canada.
And all it took was me to do a mala
monologue about hockey, and they were raising up the Canadian flag,
loving it and in honor of Canada. This is not
a This is not a list for Terry and England.
This is a big board. It's Big Ben's Big board
(17:51):
of amazing factoids from Canada. Is it true that the
Vikings visited Canada several hundred years ahead of Christopher Columbus?
That is true. Legend has it the Vikings arrived in
Canada in one thy twenty one. How about that? Yeah,
(18:14):
there you go. They settled on the northern side of
Newfoundland and just passed Greenland and they said, we've arrived here,
we are now. The first explorer to reach Canada was
in fourteen ninety seven some Italian dude. He was born
in Italy and he traveled to England and secured the
(18:37):
ships there and ended up traveling around. He was trying
to find a shorter route or route to Asia, and
he landed in Newfoundland and that's where he was. The
coldest recorded temperature in Canada in snag Yukon it is
(19:01):
sixty three selfies celsius. So what does that mean in
American terminology? Meaning fahrenheit? So that's just some malord math here,
I mean type this in here Malard math. You're listening
Live to the Fifth Hour Live on tape to the
(19:22):
fifth hour. So let's see if it's if it's sixty
three minus sixty three, selfies, I'm using this is big
time broadcasting. Metric conversion is what I'm doing. This is
big all right. So if it's minus sixty three, that
(19:42):
would be minus eighty one fahrenheit. Wow, minus eighty one
point four fahrenheit. And that's the coldest temperature. And is
that not worthy Terry in England of being on Big
Ben's Big Board of Canadian fun Facts. I believe it is,
I believe, and this is in honor of our many
(20:02):
Canadian listeners as we are blatantly sucking up to our
friends in Canada. Now, Canada has two national sports. We
all know hockey because that's the big one, that's the
bigin But in the summer, lacrosse is the official sport,
although it hasn't been the sport for that long in
my lifetime. When I was a kid, they didn't have
a summer sport. But the Parliament in Canada made it
(20:25):
the official summer sport in nineteen ninety four. In nineteen
ninety four, what else? Canada has the fourth longest highway
in the world. We're number four the Trans Canada Highway,
which is four eight hundred and sixty miles. It takes
about one hundred and six hours of non stop driving,
(20:49):
and so you can enjoy that. Canada has the record
for the most lakes in the world, eight hundred and
seventy nine thousand lakes. Many of them are undiscovered and
unresearched because a lot of Canada is changing because of
the Glacier melts, and most of Canada is non human friendly,
(21:15):
non human friendly. Quebec is the most, well, not the most.
It's the only walled city left in North America and
it's been around now for four hundred almost four hundred
and twenty years. And Charles Dickens, the Great Charles Dixon Dickens,
(21:38):
rather Charles Dickens, called it the Gibraltar of North America.
So there you go. There's a fun fact. And Hawaiian
pizza was invented in Canada by a Greek dude. Yeah,
the great Hawaiian not from Hawaii, from Canada. Oh, come
(22:03):
my home and native but to me. We mentioned this
in a previous episode. The most important contribution our friends
in Canada have given us poutine. Poutine which was invented
in the nineteen fifties in Quebec. Now, if things go
well later this year, I plan on visiting Montreal, and
if I'm in Montreal, I am going to try to
(22:26):
find the birthplace of the poutine. And it started in
the nineteen fifties. It was not until the nineties that
the rest of Canada got on the gravy train, literally
the cheese curd potato gravy train. So it took about
forty years for that to become a big old deal,
(22:49):
a big old deal. Moving on from that, we turned
the page and it is now time for a staple,
an absolute staple of this show. And what is that?
That would be the word of the week, the word
of the work. That's right, the word of the week,
(23:11):
and the word of the week. This week, fraz was
sent in, let me get the name here, la la l.
That would be Eric. Eric is a p one, he says.
He listens most of the time to the podcast, but
usually once a month he's up late. And Eric lives
(23:32):
in Atlanta, or he says outside Atlanta. Well, Eric, thank
you for listening. God bless you great airport there in Atlanta.
I know Sports with Coleman gets annoyed when I say
great airport. I've had good experiences there. I've not been
there when the weather's bad, but I've had always good
experiences when I've been to the Atlanta Airport. So thank
you for having a good airport, Eric, And he said, Hitchcockian.
(23:56):
He want to know more about the word HITCHCOCKI, in
which I think is raph. They're obvious, Eric, it's a
word that is taken from the last name of Alfred Hitchcock,
the famous you know in Hollywood back in his day
in the nineteen I said, go back to like the
nineteen thirties. Really the early domination of Hollywood. Alfred Hitchcock
(24:18):
was a big deal, a really big deal, and such
a big deal that his last name, a legendary Hollywood
director from the nineteen thirties, almost one hundred years ago,
ended up in the Oxford Dictionary. And it's, you know,
a thriller, suspense story, it's Hitchcockian or a Hitchcocky in drama,
(24:43):
I believe, is what I usually say, Eric when I
when I reference it. And it's just really anything described
as Hitchcockian is of that genre. And it started popping up.
The term actually goes back to the nineteen thirty I
guess so, Hitchcock, I must have been doing stuff in
the nineteen twenties. It was just around the release of
(25:05):
his third movie, a silent thriller called The Lodger, the
Story of the London Fog, and it started popping up
and it ended up as a word in the dictionary.
And while I was researching that Eric who lives in
the suburbs of Atlanta, I noticed the phrase Orwellian, which
(25:31):
is also named after It's somebody's name that became a thing.
So I think we've had this in the past, but
I just saw this and I wanted to bring it
up again because it's come up a lot, certainly in
the last five years. During the pandemic, there was a
lot of stuff going on and people said was Orwellian.
The government overreached, the police state that was going on
(25:51):
in America and still going on, was Orwellian. And so
that phrase is a tribute to George Orwell's name because
it's synonymous with the dystopian authoritarian society that he would
write about in nineteen eighty nine. And Orwellian has been
(26:15):
around since around the nineteen fifties and there was a writer,
Norman Mahler, not Ma Mahler, who used the term in
a book in nineteen fifty nine, and it's been used
off and on ever since. I will tell you that
it's certainly been used more in recent years. But thank
(26:36):
you Eric for downloading the podcast, and for now you
are a show contributor, so you can brag your wife,
who you say hates the show, and you can say, hey,
not only do you hate the show, but now you
can double hate the show because I'm now a contributor
to the Fifth Hour podcast and my name is Eric,
and I don't know your last name, Eric, i'd say it,
I don't know it, but thank you. Meanwhile, we have
(27:00):
I have foody Fun. Allay for food e fun, Allay
for food e fun. Yes, we love to eat. I
used to love to eat. Now I don't eat very much.
These are some food stories headlines got to help you
boys out. And there's one that immediately jumps off the pitch. Now,
this restaurant is not located everywhere. I realize that they're
(27:20):
not widespread because it's more of a Western chain. But
Jack in the Box, What's in the box? Jack in
the box? Jack in the Box celebrating their seventy fourth anniversary,
and what better way, what better way to celebrate that
than with a seventy four cent jumbo jack deal. It
is available this weekend, so if you live near a
(27:42):
Jack in the Box, it's only available on the app
and online through the end of the weekend. Today's the
twenty first. It goes through Sunday, and so if you
want to get that seventy four cent jumble jack. Again,
the issue, this has been a long standing issue, is
you want any of this stuff. Every restaurant wants to
track you in in order to get a seventy four
(28:02):
cent burger, you have to allow them to track you
and have the app. So it's a quid pro quo.
As they like to say, it's my Latin. Sounds like
I'm very knowledgeable and I use Latin now can Tucky
Fried Chicken, better known by their gangster name KFC. They
recently introduced a new Korean barbecue loaded Fries bowl which
(28:23):
looks absolutely amazing Korean barbecue, mac and cheese and it's awesome,
just covering the fries. Available for a limited time exclusively
through the app and online like everything else, And if
you want to pig out and be a hawser piggy,
Piggy piggy. Golden Coral is where you need to go,
(28:48):
and they have the all you can eat steak and
butterfly shrimp deal which is back. It's available only on weekdays,
of course, because on the weekends forget about it. But
on weekdays after four pm it'll go all the way
till April sixth. So you got the last week here
of February, you got all the month of March in
(29:10):
a little bit in April, and they claim overwhelming demand.
I don't know about that, but Golden Crowd welcoming back.
The all you can eat steak and butterfly shrimp thing
now is part of the offer. You get unlimited portions.
They claim a perfectly seasoned and grilled sirline paired with
endless servings of jumbo butterfly shrimp and fry doing golden crisp.
(29:35):
Well fine, I don't need the shrimp, but the steak
sounds good. And it looks like they have a mashed
potatoes thing taco bell again, that was a Golden Craw
Taco bell. They've got the new Milk Bar Birthday Cake
Truro which looks like it'll give you diabetes, but man,
it looks good. Jack in the Box also has a
box fries New Banana French Toasticks in the Box fries
(30:02):
banana like it's banana French toast, but it's in like
a fry box or something like that. So there you go.
Some of the food stories there some other stuff, but
that's those are the main ones. Those are the main ones.
Danny g should be with me on Saturday. I will
see if he can make it or not. I don't know.
Work out the schedule and we'll get the mail bag
on Sundays Sunday Sunday. Thank you for supporting the podcast
(30:26):
and being part of the madness of it all. Have
a wonderful rest of your Friday, and don't forget we're
here for you. On Saturday and Sunday, we'll have original podcast.
I will wave the magic wand and we'll have amazing
fun unless we don't, but we'll get to all of
(30:47):
that as we get through the weekend, and we'll get
you next time later. Skater asta pasta? Is that all
Danny did I miss? I don't think I'm right. I
think that's all of them. Yeah, now, all right, I'm
gonna I'm gonna go lay down and take a nap.
I'll be back tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Gotta murder, Gotta go,
Host
Ben Maller
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