May 29, 2022 • 45 mins
Maller is in the studio alongside Danny G. with some Sunday shenanigans inside the mail bag, as well as one serious email today. All questions are sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere in a
very good Sunday Sunday Sunday. Another addition of The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio back at
(00:45):
the podcast Salt Mine eight days a week. It's like
an old Beatles song, eight days a week, because clearly
five nights a week not enough. On the overnight show,
and I get to hang out with my old pal
Danny G here and yap happy yep, and answer questions.
We're all about answering questions, Danny G. Right, we're all
about that action. No juice, that's right, no juice or
(01:09):
do we have some juice? I don't know, Please give
me the question. They want the questions, Danny G. They
want the email bag to be opened up, and so
we'll we'll get into it right now. That's not waste
any time. Here we go, Well, thanks to ohio Al
(01:32):
who sent that one in a long ago and he
knows it will get played every single week. It's gonna
get a lot of airplay. It gotta thinking before we
get into the mail bag. I know, I just played
the open, so we're supposed to do questions. But on
yesterday's pod, on on the fifth hour Saturday edition, you
were telling the story about the awkward transition the kids
(01:53):
at the at the school you're at, and it reminded
me of the famous Casey case Of meltdown. We're Casey
did the top forty count that at the Premier Networks,
our building where we work out of, and I'm returning
and Casey had to do he had to do a
(02:15):
dying dog thing, right a dog and it was coming
out of an upbeat song and get a meltdown. It
was hilarious. His meltdown was because he's like, how the
funk am I supposed to read the sad letter that
upbeat record. I'm sick and tired. You know it's going
We had to play that right here, I can play
(02:35):
a little clip of Casey Cason on the podcast, right
we can squeeze that in. Yes, this may seem to
be a strange dedication request, but I'm quite sincere and
it will need a lot if you play it. Recently,
there was a death in our family. He was a
little dog named Schnuggles, but he was most certainly a
part of let's going to start again from coming out
of the record. You see when you come out of
(02:57):
those upsample numbers, manage impossible whim to make those transitions,
and then you got to go into somebody dying. Okay.
I wanted to concerted effort to come out of a
record that isn't a Campro record. Every time I do
a gift dedication, least time I want somebody use this range.
Did not come out of a game record. That is
(03:18):
uh that that's up Campro, and I gotta talk about
a dying Casey Cason almost killed him, famous story. We've
told it before. Well, I dodged him. But if I
had not had cat like reflexes Danny, I would have
no longer been doing the show, and I would have
become the butt of many jokes for taking out the
(03:41):
great Casey Cason, a beloved icon in broadcasting. But fortunately
I avoided that and he lived a few more years
after that, so it did not end up the way
it could have ended up. It was a middle a
day situation anyway, a R. Let's get it do here.
You've got mail. First one on the mailbag comes from
Pierre from Springfield. He says, Ben, with gas prices skyrocketing,
(04:07):
are you more likely to ditch the mallamobile and broadcast
from the north Woods permanently only traveling to places within
walking distance or park the mallamobile and carpool to the
FSR studios with Quaker Oates Fenley Uh, He says, well, Pierre,
you obviously did not hear the podcast yesterday before you
(04:28):
sent this, understand. But I will be going back part
of the time, and I am debating maybe I can walk.
How many hours would it take for me to walk
from the north Woods to the Fox Sports Radio studios,
which would have to walk over several hill ranges, ranges
of mountains to get there. I think it's four hours
(04:49):
after four days, so four days and four hours. Yeah,
it's not trigonometry. So I could do one show a
week and then that's all I would do. I just
like walk back home and then walk back to the studio.
That makes sense, right, wrong? Yeah, why not? Says second question.
When in Chicago, did you have an authentic Polish sausage
(05:12):
with extra relish? Uh? Well, Pierre, I did have the
the traditional fair in in Chicago, but did not have
the relish because I don't like see that was a
leading question. Danny Pierre in Springfield has this weird obsession
with pickles and obviously relish in the pickle family and
(05:35):
all that. So yeah, that that was a leading question.
Bye bye, Pierre. But are you a relish guy, Danny,
I'm not a relish guy. I'm not a relish guy.
I do like a couple of pickles on my turkey sandwich.
My chick is obsessed with pickles. She'll eat him out
of the jar, which I think is kind of gross
to just eat them by themselves. But I like him
(05:57):
on a nice sandwich, though little taste. Yeah, I'm not
I'm not a pickle guy. In my relationship with pickles
starter when I was a little kid, my anti pickle position. Now,
I don't hate pickles. I like the smell of pickles,
Like I used to go to Deli's a lot, like
you know, Jewish deli when you're a kid growing up
and you're the smell of the pickles. But there are
different kinds of pickles. We've been in this. I've had
(06:18):
this conversation with where we talked about this. I think
with you, I talked about this different kinds of pickles
there are, and uh, yeah, it's more of a texture
thing for me. I don't like the texture of the pickles.
So that's why I'm anti pickle, much to the demand
dismay of Pierre, who sent famously a couple of years
back a giant gift basket filled with all kinds of
(06:38):
pickle propaganda. See, I agree with you on the texture thing.
That's why they need to be cut up and thinly sliced.
People that just bite into it like it's a huge carrot.
It grosses me out because of the texture. Yeah, it's
it's disgusting. You should not do that. That's inappropriate. Bad
job by whoever is doing come back, it's time from now.
(07:03):
Call Mike from Fullerton, He says, does the weekday show
podcast have a noticeable bump whenever someone is censored, Like
when Roberto said black pepper, but he didn't say black pepper,
he said a different word. Other than the second word.
He got the black part right, but he didn't get
the last part or when callers say fuck or ship.
(07:28):
He says, I know you would and you wouldn't encourage
callers to curse, but I was wondering if you laugh
all the way to the bank when it does happen. Well,
that's only been a few years where we've been allowed
to leave that in the podcast. For a while, the
company would not allow us to leave that stuff in
the podcast. It's no, no, you gotta and everything out, edited,
(07:49):
all the podcasts out. But fortunately they came to their
senses and realized it's the Internet. Man, it's the old West.
There's no FCC guide on the Internet. You can do
whatever you want. You say ever, where do you want
on the Internet. No, you're exactly right. I used to
have to bleep out anything that was questionable on podcasts,
and about two years ago, I would say, they started
(08:11):
to let us just go for it with the podcasting.
So really, I mean, I don't know how listeners would
know that there unless you titled it the episode where
Ben Mallar accidentally set an F word. No, I think
I think I think Mike is like talking about the caller.
Should we get you know, doing the overnight show, we
get people, they are hammered. I mean, is he talking
(08:34):
about downloads or yeah? I think he's talking about downloads,
like we get a bump up. I don't know. I
guess if the word of mouth or something like that,
like oh man, I was listening to Mallard yesterday and
this guy said this and that, then maybe there might
be some extra downloads. That's an interesting question. Yeah, I
have to look into the data or data take that
(08:54):
for data? Whatever? Should we do that on this podcast?
Should we? Should? We? I know what thing? Week? We
had a tremendous weekend. Last week we've downloads, so thank
you to everybody that downloaded our podcast. What did we
do that was so magical? That was so special last week?
Did we have extra fart sound effects? Is that what
(09:16):
we had? Yeah? I actually used fart one and fart
two mm four extra times. Really yeah? All right, well
that is it's great, alright, wonderful news. We're eleven year
old says that fart one sounds juicier? Is that right? Okay? Alright, no, she,
(09:39):
honest to God said that because I showed her the
two different fart effects and asked for her opinion on
which one I should use last weekend well, and and
when it comes to farting, there's no better than like
an eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifth year right in that wheelhouse.
It's like Nirvana for farts, is what it is. Some
shows have deo consultants who get paid tons of money.
(10:02):
We have an eleven year old who analyzes fart sound effects. Yeah, well,
good job by the eleven year what's it. What's your name?
What's Cloe? Chloe? Good job, Chloe, outstanding job by you.
You are unpaid, underappreciated, and you get a producing credit
on the podcast, and Danny will make sure that you
get an extra scoop of ice cream. I think, did
(10:24):
she like ice cream? Uh? Frozen yogurt? Oh, yogurt. I'm
a I'm a purist. I like the ice cream, but
teach the wrong part which rhymes with fart. Yeah, I
got you, I got you. Let's see, I got mail, Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. So sweet Potato Bob rights in
(10:47):
from Cincinnati, Ohio. And every time I see the name
of Cincinnati, I think of a radio station that does
not exist, that was based in Cincinnati, that everyone around
my age and Danny G's age used to watch when
we were kids and thought, someday we'll be on a
radio station just like that station in Cincinnati w kay
(11:12):
R P right, great station, a receptionist with big buzzoms yes.
And then we realized we got into night radio and
there is no one there other than occasionally the most
important employee at a radio station, the one that cleans
up occasionally shows up at the radio station because there's
a bunch of animals that work at the radio station,
(11:34):
so it's always nice when that person shows up to
clean up a little more, or a security guard with
trash bags filled with comic books. Now, one thing I
am excited about Danny is the fact that since I
occasionally will be going back to the hallowed hallways, the
mothership of Fox Sports Radio, that means I can start
playing some of the bits that I did in the past,
(11:57):
Like every Sunday night I would come mean and the
bit I didn't use every Sunday. I'm exaggerating, but I
would go through the trash in the studio. What the
hosts on the weekend at Fox Sports Radio we're eating.
And so I haven't able to do that because I
haven't been there, but now I can do it. Now
I can do it. Entire segment about leftover food, And
(12:20):
it always fascinates me because if you're eating a turkey
sandwich and you eat seventy of the sandwich, why do
you have to throw it away in the studio? Why
not walk down the hall? Because what's gonna happen if
you leave rotting food in there on a Saturday morning
or a Saturday afternoon. By the time it gets picked
up on Monday morning? What are you thinks happening to
(12:42):
that food? That dogs licked that whole thing. They need
their mother to follow them around and clean up. So
sweet potato, Bob and sitsine. He says, I, I'm sorry, Bob,
I got sided. Ben. If you got lured away from
the podcast into the Monday night football play by play
game Big Money uh and could pick your color man
(13:08):
Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Troy Aikman, Danny g or Gascon
and why all right? So I wouldn't take Peyton Manning
because Peyton annoys me. Cut that me. I wouldn't take
Tom Brady because I think he's gonna be terrible. I
wouldn't take Aikman, because I think he's pretty played out
at this point. I am a monkey fan. Gascon would
(13:30):
annoy me, so I guess I'd go with you day
by process of elimination, you, Danny g would be my
wingman in the broadcast booth calling Monday night football. I
won't be offended. You could say I'd be the color man.
You know, I think how much fun that would be.
What a great job Monday night football doing football if
(13:52):
you if that's your only game. Not a lot of
those guys have other things going on. They have to
call those sports. But if your only job is to
call twenty football games a year, give or take right,
a couple of exhibition games, and well not even twenties,
like seventeen regular season games, but it's it's built over
eighteen weeks. So let's say, but twenty games and that's it,
(14:12):
and the rest of the year. You got not to
worry about how great a gig is that. That's how
Michael's that's what he does now. Aw, Michael's right. I'd
want to be like Booger on the sideline though for you.
But a gmobile hooked up to a high pressured water
hoose where I could where I could just knock back
fans at each stadium. Yeah. No, that the the Danny Gmobile.
(14:35):
You could be the I Candy like Booger was. You
can be the I Candy and and that's great. Why
not women? Yeah, now, sweet Potato Bob, since you brought
that up, you have to make that happen. You have
to make sure to make that happen. Glenn listener, Glenn
from Chicago City. I was just in a few weeks back.
He says, Hey, Ben, you mentioned on air that you
(14:56):
had a run in with the Great One. When why
and what happened? Yeah, this is the thing that Roberto
hijacked and took out of context what I said and
twisted around to make me sound like a dirty person.
But I will tell the story. And so back in
my younger days as a radio reporter for the mighty
(15:17):
six nine in San Diego. But it was a border
blaster station and it had the l A market covered.
They were so powerful in l A. They had the
l A King's radio contract. The games were on this
station which was based in in Mexico, Baja Mexico. Who
(15:40):
the studios were in San Diego. But anyway, so I
was in l A. I was the reporter Wayne Gretzky
number gets traded. The Kings weren't very good. He gets
traded to the St. Louis Blue. I get a phone
call from the sports director at the Mighty s. Hey,
Gretzky's on his way to St. Louis, but he's stopping
at a hotel near l a X and there's a
(16:03):
news conference. He's gonna say goodbye to Los Angeles before
he gets on a plane and joins the Blues wherever
they are. And the guy's like, listen, here's what I
want you to. I want you to go down there,
and I want you to wait till the thing's over,
and I want you to get Gretzky to call in
to the show because it was showing. I said, sure,
no problem, I'll go down there. What could possibly go wrong,
(16:25):
I'll I'm working for the station, the Kings are on
the station. I'll go down there. I'll get Wayne Gretzky.
So I go down Gretzky has given his bull crap
answers all the cliches. I loved l A. Sad to
leave all that stuff, blank my blank and blank you.
And so I'm waiting there off to the side and
Gretzky gets done. He's walking out and I'm like hey,
(16:46):
and he's surrounded by pr handlers, And as I remember
the story, I'm like, hey, Mr Gretzky, it's Ben. I
worked for the you know, the Mighty six nine in
San Diego. We'd like to get John for a couple
of minutes. And he looks at me, and he looks down,
and then he looks back at me, and he keeps
walking and just completely as I said on the air,
he uh, well, I'm not gonna say what I said
(17:07):
on here because I don't get hijacked again. He declined
my invitation. I might have used a different term that
involves blowing, but he declined my invitation to come on
the radio station. So that was my interaction. So you're
saying the great Wayne Gretzky blew you off. Well, I
(17:29):
think I did say exactly that. Actually I think I
said exactly that on the air, and that got twisted around,
especially in a parking lot near l a X. All
too good to be true. Yeah, that's that's what happened
with with Wayne Gretzky. I didn't interview him a number
of times. He's very nice, very kind man. And I
(17:50):
believe still lives in Thousand Oaks in that area in
southern California. Believe that's his home base, although he's now
a broadcaster for Turner. Right, he's working for turn I
think he's working for turn Yeah. I saw him a
couple of months ago at lamp Post Pizza here. Really
he had a big bowl of rants right in the
middle of the table. Boom. He's one of your people.
(18:15):
Wayne Gretzky's eating lamp Post pizzas that actor, right, the
man of people, Wayne Gretzky, greatest of all time. Glenn
also says I heard that spin cycle Regina is available.
Can you please have her? Give me a hall. He
then gave his number here, I have Glenn in Chicago's number.
I do not believe we should give that out on
(18:36):
the podcast, So I will not give that out on
the podcast where the white women at It's a six
three oh number, and he says, it's your it's your
version of match dot com dot com. Well, I set
up Regina and Doc Mike and they had a falling out.
Regina said she called up. She says she's available, and
(18:56):
so Glenn in Chicago that's not that far. You can
drive over to Minnesota to hang out with Regina. She
can visit Chicago for a weekend. Wrong, let's move on.
It is the mail bag. The mail bag that's right.
Next up is Barry in the Music City of Nashville,
(19:19):
listening to the podcast. He says, Yo yo mob, Benny,
what is the backstory of how Andrea these sports sorceress
ever got to be such a fixture on your show? Yeah,
so I'll give you the story, Barry. Why not you
want to the story? Andreas started calling the show a
number of years ago, and the reason she has become
the person she is on the show is perseverance. That's it.
(19:45):
She's just kept calling and and she's been part of
the show, and she's had a lot to say and whatnot,
and she's just continually putting in the effort and she's
willing to stay on hold for a while. She's very persistent,
and and that is why she keeps on trucking, and
so she's become a part of the showing. She's very polarizing, noime.
(20:07):
I've noticed there's some people that really enjoy what she does,
and there's other people that get very upset and send
me nasty messages. Why are you putting her on, which
I believe is a good thing, Danny. You don't want
you want everyone to love you, and you don't want
everyone to hate you. You You want to be somewhere in
the middle. Yeah. I feel like she's somewhere in the middle.
She's the Derek Carr of your callers. Yeah, the middle
(20:30):
of the bell curve. Right in the middle of the
bell curve, for sure, for sure, polarizing. All right, next
up here, let me see now this. I did not
get a name. I did not shut down a name
on this. Some of these people are on Facebook, Danny.
No matter how many times you say, put your name there,
put your name there, they don't do it. So now
I gotta go back and I gotta click this button,
(20:54):
and then I got to click another button. But this
thing's not loading, and I'm gonna get the name, but
I'll read the the question first. Actually, here, it has
just come up. As I am speaking with multitasking you
listen to our live coverage of the fifth Hour podcast.
We are add Living. We are now add Living on
the podcast is where I sup? All right? This is
(21:19):
from Brianna. Brianna writes in as she says from the
Greatest Venue of Golf, Tulsa, Oklahoma, And she says, what
is your favorite off strip casino in Vegas? Have you
been to an aviator's game? Do you enjoy bowling and
arcades aside from gambling in Vegas? I? As far as
(21:41):
off the strip, I mean, I've I've stayed at a
few places off the strip. I don't none of them
particularly stand out, although I do love Fremont Street, which
is off the strip. To me, that's the more authentic
Vegas and that doesn't necessarily involve gambling. But every time
I go to Vegas, I try to make it a
priority of mine to get to the Fremont Street experience,
(22:03):
especially around midnight or one in the morning when the
freaks come out and it's just it's Venice Beach. I
was starting to a buddy of mine of radio about this.
We were talking about how there are so many of
these type of venues like Fremont Street, Venice Beach. New
Orleans has their own version of that, Miami South Beach.
I love you the Jersey Boardwalk to some degree, It's
(22:29):
like this is the things sprinkled, all of them sprinkled
all over the country that have that. You have these
little spots, And for me, I love Fremont Street off
any off the strip hotel other than Fremont Street, Danny
that you figure. I say that the Orleans a few times.
That's not on the strip, I mean, not a hotel.
But I would say I have fond memories at that
(22:50):
outlet that's almost out of business. Oh yeah, that's gone.
Don't go there. It's so depressing. Oh my god. No,
how far out of Vegas is that? Give it take
like an hour maybe a little less than an hour
out of Vegas right on. It's called in Prim Prim, Nevada,
right on the border, last down in Nevada. I would
go DJ at some clubs in Vegas and MC and
(23:14):
we would make a lot of money. But then we
would choose a bad time to drive back with the
DJ crew. The bumper to bumper traffic was so bad
that we would all just pull off and go to
the outlet there and eat and walk around the shops
and kill time. But uh, COVID hit those outlets hard.
Oh it's unreal. It was so depressing. I was like
(23:36):
I felt like I was in a movie and It's
a place that I had spent a lot of time because,
like you going to Vegas a lot and commuting via
car from l A. I always stopped and there was
a store that was in there that I got a
lot of my shirts from. Like they had really cheap,
nice shirts, like dress shirts and stuff, so I would
shop there. And they had tall size. On a tall guy,
(23:56):
it's hard to get shirts that fit right. Why long?
And I love that place in in Prim and I
will probably never go there again unless I'm told it's
opened up and it's back in business. And you think
that somebody would want to buy that on the cheap.
I saw that it was sold at auction for pennies
(24:18):
on the dollar and it just dried up because the
pandemic people weren't driving to Vegas. But now they're driving
to Vegas. Yeah, so let's bring it back, baby. We
could buy it on our salaries. Danny could live in Prim. Yeah,
mount make it Mallerland. Well, that's a great idea for
(24:38):
the name. I could do the Overnight Show from Nevada
like Art Bell from Peromp, I'll do it from Prim,
from the Kingdom of Prim. I love that Art Bell,
the Kingdom of Nai because he lived in Ni County, Nevada.
I love that. That's so funny. I've never been to
(25:00):
an Aviators game. I have not the Triple A team
there in Vegas. I remember when they were called the
Las Vegas Stars back in the day. That team is
not long for the world. Vegas is gonna get an
NBA team and a baseball team within the next five, five,
ten years. I would from what I've heard, Matt writes
(25:22):
in az the mail bag rules, You've got mail Matt
from Dallas Fort Worth says you've suffered a few losses,
and he says, and then mallar militia this past year. Wait,
maybe we Uh, what are your plans to reverse the trend?
Says Man. So is Matt blaming us for the listeners
(25:45):
that have met there their end at the pearly gates?
Are we responsible for that? I mean we just do
a goofy, you know, radio shop. Sounds like your monologues
drive people to drink. Yeah, yeah, I'm a good companion.
I've been told over the years, it's go to liquor store,
(26:07):
buy some whiskey, come back and listen to Mallard. Hello Joe, Hi,
I like to Saint. That's that's how that goes. Ben
Mallard the best drug paraphernalia on the radio, smoke weed. Well,
we did have that guy in the Bay Area that
was going to name a strand of weed after each
(26:29):
of us on the show. But I don't happen with
that guy. Yeah, man, it's it's a it's part of
the overnight radio experience. I don't know how else to
say it. What are you smoking? I got some Benny Blizzard. Yeah,
stop a cigarette and night landed in my hoodie and
I can't it's my beautiful white fuzzy hoodie. Terry and
(26:53):
England rights in is the mail bag? I got mail? Yeah,
I got mad. Terry says it must be time for
an England meet and greet. Surely been well, Terry. I
will make a promise you. At some point my wife
will drag my ass to your neck of the woods
(27:15):
in England. And so when that happens, I'm guessing that
will probably hit the big cities, the big tourist areas
where Americans visit your country. And so when that happens
to you're gonna have to meet me something. We'll make
that happen we'll hang out. And Terry is a man
of mystery. We don't know what Terry looks like. He
has his avatar is like a generic forty Niner guy,
(27:39):
so we don't really know. It'll be a great mystery.
But I would like to meet you and who exactly.
But the other problem too is, as we pointed out
with the Appleton, Wisconsin meet and greet, these meet and greets,
unless it's geographically desirable and right in your back yard,
(28:01):
people don't like to go out of the way. And
I understand that. I understand people don't like to do that.
But I learned that lesson in Appleton, Wisconsin. And we
had a bunch of, you know, good turnout from people
from Green Bay and Appleton and whatnot, but we had
people that said from Minnesota, they're gonna drive over. Not
a single one. Not that I'm bitter, Danny, and I
bring that up every single time I bring up the
(28:21):
Appleton meet and greed. I just wanted, I just wanted to,
you know, pass that on. Patricia in Vegas says, when
you do the third degree says, she says, do you
have the questions in amaze? It seems like your answers
are ready, it's not. If not, then you are quick
on your feet with the answers. Well, this would fall
into the category, Patricia, we're never supposed to let people
know how we make the hot dogs. Ef earf right, Danny,
(28:45):
there's a bit of mystery that is around the radio show,
the moving parts of the radio show. Who does what?
Who's responsible for what? Dumber for having listened to it? Hi,
I Q. Then some of the mystery has taken out, Yeah,
some of that. But I have a general idea. How
(29:06):
about that? A general idea of what what my might
be out there? Does that answer your question? Patricia in
ves she used to listen in the Northeast, and then
she moved out to Vegas, living her greatest life. All right,
come back at it's time from that, I'll call all right.
Next up, Cliff from Nashville rights and he says, man,
it was announced this week that Raising Canes is coming
(29:29):
to Tennessee. But it's in Cooksville. What the f is
it worth? An hour and a half dry? Now? Cliff
points out that he has bow Jangles a half a
beer drive from the house. So the way I will
answer this, Cliff is Raising Caynes is a wonderful chicken
(29:49):
finger place. To me, it's the top chicken figure restaurant.
I might go there one time, but then you're gonna
fall in love with it, and then you're gonna want
to go more, and then that becomes a problem. I
would wait because I've looked at the Raising Canes website.
They are expanding all over the place. So if they're
an hour and a half away, I would bet within
(30:10):
a couple of years they'll be right in your neighborhood.
They'll have a Raising Canes in in Nashville. You're saying,
don't even try it yet because it'll be like a
greasy mistress. Yeah, and then you're gonna be okay. Ever,
you Saturday, I gotta make an hour and a half dry,
which is three hours round trip. I think of it mantrip.
Where are you going, honey, I'm going to the library. Yes,
(30:32):
I'm going to the chicken finger library. Yes, I am
going to send I'm gonna run some errands. Yes, some
three hours of my life I will spend to buy
chicken fingers with the cane sauce. That's that's gonna be
my move there, Bane Wowser's uh yeah, but bojenos, A
(30:53):
good bonenko is a solid there's more on the menu.
I will tell you that all you get at Raising
Canes is the chicken finger. Even their sandwiches just chicken
fingers side by side. That's all it is. It's not
a chicken breast, not a chicken patty at all. It's
just the same old deal. So that's that is that alright.
So I'm gonna change gears here. And I mentioned on
(31:14):
the radio show Danny, we do not we did not
talk about the tragedy that took place in you all
the Texas this week, the shooting at the school. And
I got an email from a guy that you probably
know the person's name about this, and I was debating
(31:36):
whether or not to read it, I said, or not
to do it on the radio show. I thought I
would save it for for the hardcore p ones that
are part of the podcast Danny, because it's just I
feel like it's a it's a better form here to
do that than do it on the radio show. Yeah,
And we did talk about it a little bit on
Saturday's podcast. Yeah. So I saw this name and if
you listen to the lame joke segment that we do
(31:57):
every Friday. This has been one of our more consistent joke. Right,
it's pretty funny. Guy. I always like this guy because
he always sends Laker jokes, A lot of Laker jokes.
Anybody on the Clippers is a half of what Kobe
Bryant is. I think he does that because he knows
that I'll read them, and he likes that. And he's
also is a San Antonio so I guess he's a experson.
(32:21):
I'm gonna read the email, he says, an open letter.
He headlined this an open message to the Mallard militia.
So that's the headline on this open message to the
Malam militia. So I'm gonna read it, and I'm not
gonna add anything. I'll just read it verbatim here and
then we'll react to it in a bit. Says greetings.
Usually when I email this account, it is to send
(32:42):
a lame joke, some of which are read, some are skipped.
I used to handle George from San Antonio because I
lived there for fifteen years before moving to you'vald to
become a teacher. And he sent this the day after
the He says, before yesterday, who had ever heard of you?
(33:04):
That all changed this week when a deranged lunatic committed
a horrific act. I am writing to ask for the thoughts, prayers,
and support of the Mallard Militia as we start the
recovery process. We are a small, tightly knit familiar what's
the word here, uh, familiar is that the world I think, yeah,
(33:25):
community that has devastated had been devastated obviously by by
the shooting at rob Elementary. My students lost brothers, sisters, cousins,
friends and neighbors. This will be a long process, but
I am heartened by the fact that I have this
show to bolster my spirits when I will have to
find a way to be as strong as my students
(33:49):
when they need me need me to be says. That's
from George from Uvaldi, and he is a math teacher
at a school just down the street from the elementary school,
and as he said in the email that you know,
it's a small, smaller town and his his students had
(34:15):
younger brothers, sisters, cousins, friends of their neighbors in the
neighborhood that went to that elementary school. And so that's
that's George from Uvaldi who sent in and George obviously
have the the full support of me and Danny g
I'm sure and all of us. And even though we
didn't get into it on the show for reasons we
talked about on Saturday, trust me, like everyone else, I've
(34:38):
been following the story and been pretty pretty depressed. It's
been it's been one of those deals where you know,
we try to put on a happy face, right, Danny,
like the show must go on that kind of anyway,
You're kind of like, this is I'm breaking down some
NFL story and it's really just really necessary. But but
to hang in there, George, No, it made it hard
(35:01):
to work for everybody on Tuesday. Just make the sick
to your stomach, and how do you focus on some
other things that aren't important as human life and you
know you've got to keep moving on. It's it's tough though,
especially for those connected to it, and like I said
on Saturday's podcast, for anybody that works with students, works
in a school or on a campus. Uh, there's questions
(35:24):
that need to be answered. Asshole got onto the campus,
you know, I know a lot of campuses have an
actual police officer now posted inside a lot of locked
doors that you have to get through. Yeah, and it's
it's a fine line because you don't want to make
a school of police state. You want kids to be kids.
(35:45):
You don't want them to go in and have to
go through some barbed wires. And I agree with you,
it shouldn't be like walking into a prison. But at
the same time, in this world we live in nowadays,
I mean, it kind of does have to be a
little bit fort box on the outside of each school.
I would think, yeah, at least to tour crazy people
(36:06):
from even thinking about doing something to kids. Yeah, you know,
it's it's it's one of these things, and everyone's got
a different opinion on how to solve it. Nobody has
the answer. But in my experience, a lot of people
are trying to politician. You gotta write laws for this,
But I've always thought that the people that do this
bad stuff don't follow the law. So what's you know,
(36:28):
not that you shouldn't have laws, but the people that
commit these acts, they're not following the law. So does
that make people feel better that you put more laws
in there? You know, I think you gotta you gotta
try to figure it out. And I go back to
the mental health and the the institutions they used to have.
They and I think it was Ronald Reagan, who I
(36:51):
like as a president, but in his administration they got
rid of if I if I'm not mistaken, they got
rid of the mental hospitals. Are cut back that a lot,
and you know, here we are years later, and I
think that's part of the a big part of the
issue here. So yeah, no, I think a lot of
people would agree with you. All Right, Well, good luck, George.
(37:14):
I'm sorry, man, and our thoughts are with you. Talk
about a small world. I've heard his jokes on your show.
I would have never thought that he was a math
teacher in that town. Yeah. When I got that email,
because I was putting the jokes together and I got
as I wait a minute, I clicked on because I
saw George's name, like, well, George must have sent some jokes,
(37:34):
and I'm like, no, no, this is not this is
this is a serious thing. So anyway, it's just terrible
and I appreciate that email absolutely. All right, we'll get
back to the regular shenanigans here. Yes, Fred from Spring
Texas says, have either of you watched a cricket match?
(37:54):
Did you understand the game. Well, you'll be happy to know.
Not only have I watched the cricket match, I've been preempted.
I used to have a weekly radio bit in New
Zealand on their sports network, which went out of business
when the pandemic started. But I would go on there
every week and occasionally I would be told, hey, you
(38:17):
can't come on today because there's a cricket match and
we don't know when it's gonna said, well, come on,
what's gonna three hours? Four hours? No, it might be
three days, it might be seven days. Yeah, so I
have I have witnessed the sport of cricket. What about you,
Danny G? Have you ever watched the cricket match late
at night or on the internet somewhere. I've seen it
on TV late at night. I don't understand it. So
(38:40):
I only watched for a couple of minutes. Definitely something
that we did not grow up with at all. And
so yeah, it would be interesting to maybe take like
a half hour class a good instructor, an entertaining instructor
explaining the game. I'd be down for that. And I
like more than than cricket is Ozzy rules football tonight, Mike.
(39:08):
That's pretty cool. I watched that actually got into that
a little bit because of some of the fans we
have in Australia that sent me some propaganda on this
podcast about Ozzy rules football, and I thought it was
pretty pretty neat watching some of the games and the
different weird rules they have and how crazy everyone is.
(39:30):
Come back, It's sign from Cale. Do a couple more.
Bobby from Dallas says favorite breakfast spot in Vegas. Well,
this one's easy for me, and I think you'll probably
agree with me Danny on this, but maybe not my
go to. And I'm not a big breakfast guy. I
my wife loves breakfast, so she'll drag me to breakfast.
(39:51):
I'm more of a lunch dinner guy. But when I
eat breakfast in Vegas, Hash House and Go Go, that's
the spot for me. Is the spot. There's several locations
in Vegas and they give you pancakes, and I don't
want I don't want to embellish how big the pancakes are,
and I'm gonna keep this conservative. They're the size of
(40:11):
the moon. Gratty bait taste like bo The pancakes are
the size of the moon, and they stack them up
and everything is jumbo jumbo sized that hash house and
go go, so make sure that you are very hungry.
(40:32):
You're a hungry hungry hippo when you go there. Any
other breakfast spots stand out there in Vegas, Danny, I
do have one for you, the Black Bear Diner. Okay,
you've seen those in lots of different cities. I don't
know if they have them on the East Coast. I'll
have to look into that, but there is one near
the new Allegiance Stadium, and Pete Rose goes there every
(40:54):
week like clockwork. He goes to the Black Bear Diner
near Allegiance Stadium. Lots of Raider fans have run into
him and taking pictures with him. So if you want
a good meal and you get to meet old Pete,
who we've been efforting to get on this podcast, yes,
that's the spot to go right there. So we should
just bring a recorder and go to the diner and
(41:17):
we can then have Pete man Foe drizzle our last
one from Paul in Great Falls, Montana. He says, hey
is a sporting question. Does the Pack twelve have a
puncher's chance of making the college football play? I say yes,
(41:38):
I say yes. There's a new sheriff in town, Lincoln
Riley at USC. And if he's as good as advertised,
now I have my doubts because it's not like he
built Oklahoma into what Oklahoma was. He inherited a wonderful
program from Bob Stoops and kept the ship sailing. But
all my friends that are USC boosters and the people
(42:00):
that I know around USC are so excited about Lincoln Riley.
They're like, oh my god, I think we were talking
about I might have to go back to the USC
games because they'll be cool again at the Coliseum there
with Lincoln Ridy. But that's the one. Other than that,
Oregon will have a good team again. They'll be in
the mix. The problem is, yeah, the Pack twelve. There's
(42:23):
so many mediocre teams in the Pack twelve that I
think it's gonna it's gonna hurt the big picture. Maybe
you run the table. If USC runs the table or
Oregon runs the table or loses only one game and
has an amazing, amazing season, and I say they will
get in, I'm going, Yes, I'm being Benny Brightside on
this one. That's what I am. Then I'm Benny bright
said in this one so as the kids say, l
(42:46):
f G the best players that NI L money can
buy baby, Yes, get the businesses, all the big boosters.
Right those checks, those oversized checks, and make sure they
don't bounce, and you'll be good to go. All we
gotta get out of here, Danny. Anything to promote now,
I'm on Cameo. If you want a Cameo message, you
can do that. And I will be returning to the
(43:08):
Fox Sports radio studios this week a few days, a
few days every week I will be in the studio
and it could change every week. Some days will be
one day, another next week the next, so who knows.
And it is also around this podcast, which is done
from the north Woods. Have you decided if you're gonna
come in studio tonight when I'm there, I have not
(43:29):
decided as a game time decision. That is a game
time decision. But I'm sure I will run into you, Danny.
I will be in there on the Sunday night in
the Monday morning at some point. But again I saw
I'll be starting that on Cameo as well. Cameo is
a website. You want a video message, a birthday bar
Mitzvah's weddings, funerals, you name it, Heltho. I've not really
(43:51):
done any funerals in order. I really want to. But
I am on there for this personalized Ben Mallard video.
I'm married, my wife, lets to dress up? She all right?
Talking right to you and a loved one. Yes, I
will do a eulogy for you if you want. All right, anyway,
(44:11):
what do you have, Danny drummote? What's going on in
your world? You're in the radio station all day? Yeah,
the Cavino and Rich shows a lot of fun on
Sunday afternoon into Sunday evening. Then it is time for
your man, Arnie Spaniard along with Chris Plank. Right before
you get on the air. That show goes until eleven
pm Pacific time. Oh, Laker fans, that's my my guy,
(44:36):
Arnie hot tub Barney. They called him back in the day,
hot tub Barney. Never before. If I've seen women run
faster than when Arnie got into the hot tub, You're
gonna have to retell that hot tub story sometimes. I'll
have to do that sometimes. But my man, Arnie, hang on,
I'm making a note of that. When and Arnie hot
tub story, Yeah, we'll get into that in a future podcast,
(45:01):
for sure. We have a wonderful rest of your Weekend's
a holiday weekend, but I'll be having a live show.
I'm not taking the holiday. I will be doing a
live show tonight and all weekends, so enjoy the holiday.
That's I'm gonna be part of the filling crew for
the Doug Gottlieb Show on Monday. All right, we'll enjoy,
(45:22):
and I'll be in my same time, same same Mallard time,
same Mallard station, and we will talk to you next time.
Asta pasta population
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot takes,
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere in a
very good Sunday Sunday Sunday. Another addition of The Fifth
Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio back at
(00:45):
the podcast Salt Mine eight days a week. It's like
an old Beatles song, eight days a week, because clearly
five nights a week not enough. On the overnight show,
and I get to hang out with my old pal
Danny G here and yap happy yep, and answer questions.
We're all about answering questions, Danny G. Right, we're all
about that action. No juice, that's right, no juice or
(01:09):
do we have some juice? I don't know, Please give
me the question. They want the questions, Danny G. They
want the email bag to be opened up, and so
we'll we'll get into it right now. That's not waste
any time. Here we go, Well, thanks to ohio Al
(01:32):
who sent that one in a long ago and he
knows it will get played every single week. It's gonna
get a lot of airplay. It gotta thinking before we
get into the mail bag. I know, I just played
the open, so we're supposed to do questions. But on
yesterday's pod, on on the fifth hour Saturday edition, you
were telling the story about the awkward transition the kids
(01:53):
at the at the school you're at, and it reminded
me of the famous Casey case Of meltdown. We're Casey
did the top forty count that at the Premier Networks,
our building where we work out of, and I'm returning
and Casey had to do he had to do a
(02:15):
dying dog thing, right a dog and it was coming
out of an upbeat song and get a meltdown. It
was hilarious. His meltdown was because he's like, how the
funk am I supposed to read the sad letter that
upbeat record. I'm sick and tired. You know it's going
We had to play that right here, I can play
(02:35):
a little clip of Casey Cason on the podcast, right
we can squeeze that in. Yes, this may seem to
be a strange dedication request, but I'm quite sincere and
it will need a lot if you play it. Recently,
there was a death in our family. He was a
little dog named Schnuggles, but he was most certainly a
part of let's going to start again from coming out
of the record. You see when you come out of
(02:57):
those upsample numbers, manage impossible whim to make those transitions,
and then you got to go into somebody dying. Okay.
I wanted to concerted effort to come out of a
record that isn't a Campro record. Every time I do
a gift dedication, least time I want somebody use this range.
Did not come out of a game record. That is
(03:18):
uh that that's up Campro, and I gotta talk about
a dying Casey Cason almost killed him, famous story. We've
told it before. Well, I dodged him. But if I
had not had cat like reflexes Danny, I would have
no longer been doing the show, and I would have
become the butt of many jokes for taking out the
(03:41):
great Casey Cason, a beloved icon in broadcasting. But fortunately
I avoided that and he lived a few more years
after that, so it did not end up the way
it could have ended up. It was a middle a
day situation anyway, a R. Let's get it do here.
You've got mail. First one on the mailbag comes from
Pierre from Springfield. He says, Ben, with gas prices skyrocketing,
(04:07):
are you more likely to ditch the mallamobile and broadcast
from the north Woods permanently only traveling to places within
walking distance or park the mallamobile and carpool to the
FSR studios with Quaker Oates Fenley Uh, He says, well, Pierre,
you obviously did not hear the podcast yesterday before you
(04:28):
sent this, understand. But I will be going back part
of the time, and I am debating maybe I can walk.
How many hours would it take for me to walk
from the north Woods to the Fox Sports Radio studios,
which would have to walk over several hill ranges, ranges
of mountains to get there. I think it's four hours
(04:49):
after four days, so four days and four hours. Yeah,
it's not trigonometry. So I could do one show a
week and then that's all I would do. I just
like walk back home and then walk back to the studio.
That makes sense, right, wrong? Yeah, why not? Says second question.
When in Chicago, did you have an authentic Polish sausage
(05:12):
with extra relish? Uh? Well, Pierre, I did have the
the traditional fair in in Chicago, but did not have
the relish because I don't like see that was a
leading question. Danny Pierre in Springfield has this weird obsession
with pickles and obviously relish in the pickle family and
(05:35):
all that. So yeah, that that was a leading question.
Bye bye, Pierre. But are you a relish guy, Danny,
I'm not a relish guy. I'm not a relish guy.
I do like a couple of pickles on my turkey sandwich.
My chick is obsessed with pickles. She'll eat him out
of the jar, which I think is kind of gross
to just eat them by themselves. But I like him
(05:57):
on a nice sandwich, though little taste. Yeah, I'm not
I'm not a pickle guy. In my relationship with pickles
starter when I was a little kid, my anti pickle position. Now,
I don't hate pickles. I like the smell of pickles,
Like I used to go to Deli's a lot, like
you know, Jewish deli when you're a kid growing up
and you're the smell of the pickles. But there are
different kinds of pickles. We've been in this. I've had
(06:18):
this conversation with where we talked about this. I think
with you, I talked about this different kinds of pickles
there are, and uh, yeah, it's more of a texture
thing for me. I don't like the texture of the pickles.
So that's why I'm anti pickle, much to the demand
dismay of Pierre, who sent famously a couple of years
back a giant gift basket filled with all kinds of
(06:38):
pickle propaganda. See, I agree with you on the texture thing.
That's why they need to be cut up and thinly sliced.
People that just bite into it like it's a huge carrot.
It grosses me out because of the texture. Yeah, it's
it's disgusting. You should not do that. That's inappropriate. Bad
job by whoever is doing come back, it's time from now.
(07:03):
Call Mike from Fullerton, He says, does the weekday show
podcast have a noticeable bump whenever someone is censored, Like
when Roberto said black pepper, but he didn't say black pepper,
he said a different word. Other than the second word.
He got the black part right, but he didn't get
the last part or when callers say fuck or ship.
(07:28):
He says, I know you would and you wouldn't encourage
callers to curse, but I was wondering if you laugh
all the way to the bank when it does happen. Well,
that's only been a few years where we've been allowed
to leave that in the podcast. For a while, the
company would not allow us to leave that stuff in
the podcast. It's no, no, you gotta and everything out, edited,
(07:49):
all the podcasts out. But fortunately they came to their
senses and realized it's the Internet. Man, it's the old West.
There's no FCC guide on the Internet. You can do
whatever you want. You say ever, where do you want
on the Internet. No, you're exactly right. I used to
have to bleep out anything that was questionable on podcasts,
and about two years ago, I would say, they started
(08:11):
to let us just go for it with the podcasting.
So really, I mean, I don't know how listeners would
know that there unless you titled it the episode where
Ben Mallar accidentally set an F word. No, I think
I think I think Mike is like talking about the caller.
Should we get you know, doing the overnight show, we
get people, they are hammered. I mean, is he talking
(08:34):
about downloads or yeah? I think he's talking about downloads,
like we get a bump up. I don't know. I
guess if the word of mouth or something like that,
like oh man, I was listening to Mallard yesterday and
this guy said this and that, then maybe there might
be some extra downloads. That's an interesting question. Yeah, I
have to look into the data or data take that
(08:54):
for data? Whatever? Should we do that on this podcast?
Should we? Should? We? I know what thing? Week? We
had a tremendous weekend. Last week we've downloads, so thank
you to everybody that downloaded our podcast. What did we
do that was so magical? That was so special last week?
Did we have extra fart sound effects? Is that what
(09:16):
we had? Yeah? I actually used fart one and fart
two mm four extra times. Really yeah? All right, well
that is it's great, alright, wonderful news. We're eleven year
old says that fart one sounds juicier? Is that right? Okay? Alright, no, she,
(09:39):
honest to God said that because I showed her the
two different fart effects and asked for her opinion on
which one I should use last weekend well, and and
when it comes to farting, there's no better than like
an eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifth year right in that wheelhouse.
It's like Nirvana for farts, is what it is. Some
shows have deo consultants who get paid tons of money.
(10:02):
We have an eleven year old who analyzes fart sound effects. Yeah, well,
good job by the eleven year what's it. What's your name?
What's Cloe? Chloe? Good job, Chloe, outstanding job by you.
You are unpaid, underappreciated, and you get a producing credit
on the podcast, and Danny will make sure that you
get an extra scoop of ice cream. I think, did
(10:24):
she like ice cream? Uh? Frozen yogurt? Oh, yogurt. I'm
a I'm a purist. I like the ice cream, but
teach the wrong part which rhymes with fart. Yeah, I
got you, I got you. Let's see, I got mail, Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. So sweet Potato Bob rights in
(10:47):
from Cincinnati, Ohio. And every time I see the name
of Cincinnati, I think of a radio station that does
not exist, that was based in Cincinnati, that everyone around
my age and Danny G's age used to watch when
we were kids and thought, someday we'll be on a
radio station just like that station in Cincinnati w kay
(11:12):
R P right, great station, a receptionist with big buzzoms yes.
And then we realized we got into night radio and
there is no one there other than occasionally the most
important employee at a radio station, the one that cleans
up occasionally shows up at the radio station because there's
a bunch of animals that work at the radio station,
(11:34):
so it's always nice when that person shows up to
clean up a little more, or a security guard with
trash bags filled with comic books. Now, one thing I
am excited about Danny is the fact that since I
occasionally will be going back to the hallowed hallways, the
mothership of Fox Sports Radio, that means I can start
playing some of the bits that I did in the past,
(11:57):
Like every Sunday night I would come mean and the
bit I didn't use every Sunday. I'm exaggerating, but I
would go through the trash in the studio. What the
hosts on the weekend at Fox Sports Radio we're eating.
And so I haven't able to do that because I
haven't been there, but now I can do it. Now
I can do it. Entire segment about leftover food, And
(12:20):
it always fascinates me because if you're eating a turkey
sandwich and you eat seventy of the sandwich, why do
you have to throw it away in the studio? Why
not walk down the hall? Because what's gonna happen if
you leave rotting food in there on a Saturday morning
or a Saturday afternoon. By the time it gets picked
up on Monday morning? What are you thinks happening to
(12:42):
that food? That dogs licked that whole thing. They need
their mother to follow them around and clean up. So
sweet potato, Bob and sitsine. He says, I, I'm sorry, Bob,
I got sided. Ben. If you got lured away from
the podcast into the Monday night football play by play
game Big Money uh and could pick your color man
(13:08):
Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Troy Aikman, Danny g or Gascon
and why all right? So I wouldn't take Peyton Manning
because Peyton annoys me. Cut that me. I wouldn't take
Tom Brady because I think he's gonna be terrible. I
wouldn't take Aikman, because I think he's pretty played out
at this point. I am a monkey fan. Gascon would
(13:30):
annoy me, so I guess I'd go with you day
by process of elimination, you, Danny g would be my
wingman in the broadcast booth calling Monday night football. I
won't be offended. You could say I'd be the color man.
You know, I think how much fun that would be.
What a great job Monday night football doing football if
(13:52):
you if that's your only game. Not a lot of
those guys have other things going on. They have to
call those sports. But if your only job is to
call twenty football games a year, give or take right,
a couple of exhibition games, and well not even twenties,
like seventeen regular season games, but it's it's built over
eighteen weeks. So let's say, but twenty games and that's it,
(14:12):
and the rest of the year. You got not to
worry about how great a gig is that. That's how
Michael's that's what he does now. Aw, Michael's right. I'd
want to be like Booger on the sideline though for you.
But a gmobile hooked up to a high pressured water
hoose where I could where I could just knock back
fans at each stadium. Yeah. No, that the the Danny Gmobile.
(14:35):
You could be the I Candy like Booger was. You
can be the I Candy and and that's great. Why
not women? Yeah, now, sweet Potato Bob, since you brought
that up, you have to make that happen. You have
to make sure to make that happen. Glenn listener, Glenn
from Chicago City. I was just in a few weeks back.
He says, Hey, Ben, you mentioned on air that you
(14:56):
had a run in with the Great One. When why
and what happened? Yeah, this is the thing that Roberto
hijacked and took out of context what I said and
twisted around to make me sound like a dirty person.
But I will tell the story. And so back in
my younger days as a radio reporter for the mighty
(15:17):
six nine in San Diego. But it was a border
blaster station and it had the l A market covered.
They were so powerful in l A. They had the
l A King's radio contract. The games were on this
station which was based in in Mexico, Baja Mexico. Who
(15:40):
the studios were in San Diego. But anyway, so I
was in l A. I was the reporter Wayne Gretzky
number gets traded. The Kings weren't very good. He gets
traded to the St. Louis Blue. I get a phone
call from the sports director at the Mighty s. Hey,
Gretzky's on his way to St. Louis, but he's stopping
at a hotel near l a X and there's a
(16:03):
news conference. He's gonna say goodbye to Los Angeles before
he gets on a plane and joins the Blues wherever
they are. And the guy's like, listen, here's what I
want you to. I want you to go down there,
and I want you to wait till the thing's over,
and I want you to get Gretzky to call in
to the show because it was showing. I said, sure,
no problem, I'll go down there. What could possibly go wrong,
(16:25):
I'll I'm working for the station, the Kings are on
the station. I'll go down there. I'll get Wayne Gretzky.
So I go down Gretzky has given his bull crap
answers all the cliches. I loved l A. Sad to
leave all that stuff, blank my blank and blank you.
And so I'm waiting there off to the side and
Gretzky gets done. He's walking out and I'm like hey,
(16:46):
and he's surrounded by pr handlers, And as I remember
the story, I'm like, hey, Mr Gretzky, it's Ben. I
worked for the you know, the Mighty six nine in
San Diego. We'd like to get John for a couple
of minutes. And he looks at me, and he looks down,
and then he looks back at me, and he keeps
walking and just completely as I said on the air,
he uh, well, I'm not gonna say what I said
(17:07):
on here because I don't get hijacked again. He declined
my invitation. I might have used a different term that
involves blowing, but he declined my invitation to come on
the radio station. So that was my interaction. So you're
saying the great Wayne Gretzky blew you off. Well, I
(17:29):
think I did say exactly that. Actually I think I
said exactly that on the air, and that got twisted around,
especially in a parking lot near l a X. All
too good to be true. Yeah, that's that's what happened
with with Wayne Gretzky. I didn't interview him a number
of times. He's very nice, very kind man. And I
(17:50):
believe still lives in Thousand Oaks in that area in
southern California. Believe that's his home base, although he's now
a broadcaster for Turner. Right, he's working for turn I
think he's working for turn Yeah. I saw him a
couple of months ago at lamp Post Pizza here. Really
he had a big bowl of rants right in the
middle of the table. Boom. He's one of your people.
(18:15):
Wayne Gretzky's eating lamp Post pizzas that actor, right, the
man of people, Wayne Gretzky, greatest of all time. Glenn
also says I heard that spin cycle Regina is available.
Can you please have her? Give me a hall. He
then gave his number here, I have Glenn in Chicago's number.
I do not believe we should give that out on
(18:36):
the podcast, So I will not give that out on
the podcast where the white women at It's a six
three oh number, and he says, it's your it's your
version of match dot com dot com. Well, I set
up Regina and Doc Mike and they had a falling out.
Regina said she called up. She says she's available, and
(18:56):
so Glenn in Chicago that's not that far. You can
drive over to Minnesota to hang out with Regina. She
can visit Chicago for a weekend. Wrong, let's move on.
It is the mail bag. The mail bag that's right.
Next up is Barry in the Music City of Nashville,
(19:19):
listening to the podcast. He says, Yo yo mob, Benny,
what is the backstory of how Andrea these sports sorceress
ever got to be such a fixture on your show? Yeah,
so I'll give you the story, Barry. Why not you
want to the story? Andreas started calling the show a
number of years ago, and the reason she has become
the person she is on the show is perseverance. That's it.
(19:45):
She's just kept calling and and she's been part of
the show, and she's had a lot to say and whatnot,
and she's just continually putting in the effort and she's
willing to stay on hold for a while. She's very persistent,
and and that is why she keeps on trucking, and
so she's become a part of the showing. She's very polarizing, noime.
(20:07):
I've noticed there's some people that really enjoy what she does,
and there's other people that get very upset and send
me nasty messages. Why are you putting her on, which
I believe is a good thing, Danny. You don't want
you want everyone to love you, and you don't want
everyone to hate you. You You want to be somewhere in
the middle. Yeah. I feel like she's somewhere in the middle.
She's the Derek Carr of your callers. Yeah, the middle
(20:30):
of the bell curve. Right in the middle of the
bell curve, for sure, for sure, polarizing. All right, next
up here, let me see now this. I did not
get a name. I did not shut down a name
on this. Some of these people are on Facebook, Danny.
No matter how many times you say, put your name there,
put your name there, they don't do it. So now
I gotta go back and I gotta click this button,
(20:54):
and then I got to click another button. But this
thing's not loading, and I'm gonna get the name, but
I'll read the the question first. Actually, here, it has
just come up. As I am speaking with multitasking you
listen to our live coverage of the fifth Hour podcast.
We are add Living. We are now add Living on
the podcast is where I sup? All right? This is
(21:19):
from Brianna. Brianna writes in as she says from the
Greatest Venue of Golf, Tulsa, Oklahoma, And she says, what
is your favorite off strip casino in Vegas? Have you
been to an aviator's game? Do you enjoy bowling and
arcades aside from gambling in Vegas? I? As far as
(21:41):
off the strip, I mean, I've I've stayed at a
few places off the strip. I don't none of them
particularly stand out, although I do love Fremont Street, which
is off the strip. To me, that's the more authentic
Vegas and that doesn't necessarily involve gambling. But every time
I go to Vegas, I try to make it a
priority of mine to get to the Fremont Street experience,
(22:03):
especially around midnight or one in the morning when the
freaks come out and it's just it's Venice Beach. I
was starting to a buddy of mine of radio about this.
We were talking about how there are so many of
these type of venues like Fremont Street, Venice Beach. New
Orleans has their own version of that, Miami South Beach.
I love you the Jersey Boardwalk to some degree, It's
(22:29):
like this is the things sprinkled, all of them sprinkled
all over the country that have that. You have these
little spots, And for me, I love Fremont Street off
any off the strip hotel other than Fremont Street, Danny
that you figure. I say that the Orleans a few times.
That's not on the strip, I mean, not a hotel.
But I would say I have fond memories at that
(22:50):
outlet that's almost out of business. Oh yeah, that's gone.
Don't go there. It's so depressing. Oh my god. No,
how far out of Vegas is that? Give it take
like an hour maybe a little less than an hour
out of Vegas right on. It's called in Prim Prim, Nevada,
right on the border, last down in Nevada. I would
go DJ at some clubs in Vegas and MC and
(23:14):
we would make a lot of money. But then we
would choose a bad time to drive back with the
DJ crew. The bumper to bumper traffic was so bad
that we would all just pull off and go to
the outlet there and eat and walk around the shops
and kill time. But uh, COVID hit those outlets hard.
Oh it's unreal. It was so depressing. I was like
(23:36):
I felt like I was in a movie and It's
a place that I had spent a lot of time because,
like you going to Vegas a lot and commuting via
car from l A. I always stopped and there was
a store that was in there that I got a
lot of my shirts from. Like they had really cheap,
nice shirts, like dress shirts and stuff, so I would
shop there. And they had tall size. On a tall guy,
(23:56):
it's hard to get shirts that fit right. Why long?
And I love that place in in Prim and I
will probably never go there again unless I'm told it's
opened up and it's back in business. And you think
that somebody would want to buy that on the cheap.
I saw that it was sold at auction for pennies
(24:18):
on the dollar and it just dried up because the
pandemic people weren't driving to Vegas. But now they're driving
to Vegas. Yeah, so let's bring it back, baby. We
could buy it on our salaries. Danny could live in Prim. Yeah,
mount make it Mallerland. Well, that's a great idea for
(24:38):
the name. I could do the Overnight Show from Nevada
like Art Bell from Peromp, I'll do it from Prim,
from the Kingdom of Prim. I love that Art Bell,
the Kingdom of Nai because he lived in Ni County, Nevada.
I love that. That's so funny. I've never been to
(25:00):
an Aviators game. I have not the Triple A team
there in Vegas. I remember when they were called the
Las Vegas Stars back in the day. That team is
not long for the world. Vegas is gonna get an
NBA team and a baseball team within the next five, five,
ten years. I would from what I've heard, Matt writes
(25:22):
in az the mail bag rules, You've got mail Matt
from Dallas Fort Worth says you've suffered a few losses,
and he says, and then mallar militia this past year. Wait,
maybe we Uh, what are your plans to reverse the trend?
Says Man. So is Matt blaming us for the listeners
(25:45):
that have met there their end at the pearly gates?
Are we responsible for that? I mean we just do
a goofy, you know, radio shop. Sounds like your monologues
drive people to drink. Yeah, yeah, I'm a good companion.
I've been told over the years, it's go to liquor store,
(26:07):
buy some whiskey, come back and listen to Mallard. Hello Joe, Hi,
I like to Saint. That's that's how that goes. Ben
Mallard the best drug paraphernalia on the radio, smoke weed. Well,
we did have that guy in the Bay Area that
was going to name a strand of weed after each
(26:29):
of us on the show. But I don't happen with
that guy. Yeah, man, it's it's a it's part of
the overnight radio experience. I don't know how else to
say it. What are you smoking? I got some Benny Blizzard. Yeah,
stop a cigarette and night landed in my hoodie and
I can't it's my beautiful white fuzzy hoodie. Terry and
(26:53):
England rights in is the mail bag? I got mail? Yeah,
I got mad. Terry says it must be time for
an England meet and greet. Surely been well, Terry. I
will make a promise you. At some point my wife
will drag my ass to your neck of the woods
(27:15):
in England. And so when that happens, I'm guessing that
will probably hit the big cities, the big tourist areas
where Americans visit your country. And so when that happens
to you're gonna have to meet me something. We'll make
that happen we'll hang out. And Terry is a man
of mystery. We don't know what Terry looks like. He
has his avatar is like a generic forty Niner guy,
(27:39):
so we don't really know. It'll be a great mystery.
But I would like to meet you and who exactly.
But the other problem too is, as we pointed out
with the Appleton, Wisconsin meet and greet, these meet and greets,
unless it's geographically desirable and right in your back yard,
(28:01):
people don't like to go out of the way. And
I understand that. I understand people don't like to do that.
But I learned that lesson in Appleton, Wisconsin. And we
had a bunch of, you know, good turnout from people
from Green Bay and Appleton and whatnot, but we had
people that said from Minnesota, they're gonna drive over. Not
a single one. Not that I'm bitter, Danny, and I
bring that up every single time I bring up the
(28:21):
Appleton meet and greed. I just wanted, I just wanted to,
you know, pass that on. Patricia in Vegas says, when
you do the third degree says, she says, do you
have the questions in amaze? It seems like your answers
are ready, it's not. If not, then you are quick
on your feet with the answers. Well, this would fall
into the category, Patricia, we're never supposed to let people
know how we make the hot dogs. Ef earf right, Danny,
(28:45):
there's a bit of mystery that is around the radio show,
the moving parts of the radio show. Who does what?
Who's responsible for what? Dumber for having listened to it? Hi,
I Q. Then some of the mystery has taken out, Yeah,
some of that. But I have a general idea. How
(29:06):
about that? A general idea of what what my might
be out there? Does that answer your question? Patricia in
ves she used to listen in the Northeast, and then
she moved out to Vegas, living her greatest life. All right,
come back at it's time from that, I'll call all right.
Next up, Cliff from Nashville rights and he says, man,
it was announced this week that Raising Canes is coming
(29:29):
to Tennessee. But it's in Cooksville. What the f is
it worth? An hour and a half dry? Now? Cliff
points out that he has bow Jangles a half a
beer drive from the house. So the way I will
answer this, Cliff is Raising Caynes is a wonderful chicken
(29:49):
finger place. To me, it's the top chicken figure restaurant.
I might go there one time, but then you're gonna
fall in love with it, and then you're gonna want
to go more, and then that becomes a problem. I
would wait because I've looked at the Raising Canes website.
They are expanding all over the place. So if they're
an hour and a half away, I would bet within
(30:10):
a couple of years they'll be right in your neighborhood.
They'll have a Raising Canes in in Nashville. You're saying,
don't even try it yet because it'll be like a
greasy mistress. Yeah, and then you're gonna be okay. Ever,
you Saturday, I gotta make an hour and a half dry,
which is three hours round trip. I think of it mantrip.
Where are you going, honey, I'm going to the library. Yes,
(30:32):
I'm going to the chicken finger library. Yes, I am
going to send I'm gonna run some errands. Yes, some
three hours of my life I will spend to buy
chicken fingers with the cane sauce. That's that's gonna be
my move there, Bane Wowser's uh yeah, but bojenos, A
(30:53):
good bonenko is a solid there's more on the menu.
I will tell you that all you get at Raising
Canes is the chicken finger. Even their sandwiches just chicken
fingers side by side. That's all it is. It's not
a chicken breast, not a chicken patty at all. It's
just the same old deal. So that's that is that alright.
So I'm gonna change gears here. And I mentioned on
(31:14):
the radio show Danny, we do not we did not
talk about the tragedy that took place in you all
the Texas this week, the shooting at the school. And
I got an email from a guy that you probably
know the person's name about this, and I was debating
(31:36):
whether or not to read it, I said, or not
to do it on the radio show. I thought I
would save it for for the hardcore p ones that
are part of the podcast Danny, because it's just I
feel like it's a it's a better form here to
do that than do it on the radio show. Yeah,
And we did talk about it a little bit on
Saturday's podcast. Yeah. So I saw this name and if
you listen to the lame joke segment that we do
(31:57):
every Friday. This has been one of our more consistent joke. Right,
it's pretty funny. Guy. I always like this guy because
he always sends Laker jokes, A lot of Laker jokes.
Anybody on the Clippers is a half of what Kobe
Bryant is. I think he does that because he knows
that I'll read them, and he likes that. And he's
also is a San Antonio so I guess he's a experson.
(32:21):
I'm gonna read the email, he says, an open letter.
He headlined this an open message to the Mallard militia.
So that's the headline on this open message to the
Malam militia. So I'm gonna read it, and I'm not
gonna add anything. I'll just read it verbatim here and
then we'll react to it in a bit. Says greetings.
Usually when I email this account, it is to send
(32:42):
a lame joke, some of which are read, some are skipped.
I used to handle George from San Antonio because I
lived there for fifteen years before moving to you'vald to
become a teacher. And he sent this the day after
the He says, before yesterday, who had ever heard of you?
(33:04):
That all changed this week when a deranged lunatic committed
a horrific act. I am writing to ask for the thoughts, prayers,
and support of the Mallard Militia as we start the
recovery process. We are a small, tightly knit familiar what's
the word here, uh, familiar is that the world I think, yeah,
(33:25):
community that has devastated had been devastated obviously by by
the shooting at rob Elementary. My students lost brothers, sisters, cousins,
friends and neighbors. This will be a long process, but
I am heartened by the fact that I have this
show to bolster my spirits when I will have to
find a way to be as strong as my students
(33:49):
when they need me need me to be says. That's
from George from Uvaldi, and he is a math teacher
at a school just down the street from the elementary school,
and as he said in the email that you know,
it's a small, smaller town and his his students had
(34:15):
younger brothers, sisters, cousins, friends of their neighbors in the
neighborhood that went to that elementary school. And so that's
that's George from Uvaldi who sent in and George obviously
have the the full support of me and Danny g
I'm sure and all of us. And even though we
didn't get into it on the show for reasons we
talked about on Saturday, trust me, like everyone else, I've
(34:38):
been following the story and been pretty pretty depressed. It's
been it's been one of those deals where you know,
we try to put on a happy face, right, Danny,
like the show must go on that kind of anyway,
You're kind of like, this is I'm breaking down some
NFL story and it's really just really necessary. But but
to hang in there, George, No, it made it hard
(35:01):
to work for everybody on Tuesday. Just make the sick
to your stomach, and how do you focus on some
other things that aren't important as human life and you
know you've got to keep moving on. It's it's tough though,
especially for those connected to it, and like I said
on Saturday's podcast, for anybody that works with students, works
in a school or on a campus. Uh, there's questions
(35:24):
that need to be answered. Asshole got onto the campus,
you know, I know a lot of campuses have an
actual police officer now posted inside a lot of locked
doors that you have to get through. Yeah, and it's
it's a fine line because you don't want to make
a school of police state. You want kids to be kids.
(35:45):
You don't want them to go in and have to
go through some barbed wires. And I agree with you,
it shouldn't be like walking into a prison. But at
the same time, in this world we live in nowadays,
I mean, it kind of does have to be a
little bit fort box on the outside of each school.
I would think, yeah, at least to tour crazy people
(36:06):
from even thinking about doing something to kids. Yeah, you know,
it's it's it's one of these things, and everyone's got
a different opinion on how to solve it. Nobody has
the answer. But in my experience, a lot of people
are trying to politician. You gotta write laws for this,
But I've always thought that the people that do this
bad stuff don't follow the law. So what's you know,
(36:28):
not that you shouldn't have laws, but the people that
commit these acts, they're not following the law. So does
that make people feel better that you put more laws
in there? You know, I think you gotta you gotta
try to figure it out. And I go back to
the mental health and the the institutions they used to have.
They and I think it was Ronald Reagan, who I
(36:51):
like as a president, but in his administration they got
rid of if I if I'm not mistaken, they got
rid of the mental hospitals. Are cut back that a lot,
and you know, here we are years later, and I
think that's part of the a big part of the
issue here. So yeah, no, I think a lot of
people would agree with you. All Right, Well, good luck, George.
(37:14):
I'm sorry, man, and our thoughts are with you. Talk
about a small world. I've heard his jokes on your show.
I would have never thought that he was a math
teacher in that town. Yeah. When I got that email,
because I was putting the jokes together and I got
as I wait a minute, I clicked on because I
saw George's name, like, well, George must have sent some jokes,
(37:34):
and I'm like, no, no, this is not this is
this is a serious thing. So anyway, it's just terrible
and I appreciate that email absolutely. All right, we'll get
back to the regular shenanigans here. Yes, Fred from Spring
Texas says, have either of you watched a cricket match?
(37:54):
Did you understand the game. Well, you'll be happy to know.
Not only have I watched the cricket match, I've been preempted.
I used to have a weekly radio bit in New
Zealand on their sports network, which went out of business
when the pandemic started. But I would go on there
every week and occasionally I would be told, hey, you
(38:17):
can't come on today because there's a cricket match and
we don't know when it's gonna said, well, come on,
what's gonna three hours? Four hours? No, it might be
three days, it might be seven days. Yeah, so I
have I have witnessed the sport of cricket. What about you,
Danny G? Have you ever watched the cricket match late
at night or on the internet somewhere. I've seen it
on TV late at night. I don't understand it. So
(38:40):
I only watched for a couple of minutes. Definitely something
that we did not grow up with at all. And
so yeah, it would be interesting to maybe take like
a half hour class a good instructor, an entertaining instructor
explaining the game. I'd be down for that. And I
like more than than cricket is Ozzy rules football tonight, Mike.
(39:08):
That's pretty cool. I watched that actually got into that
a little bit because of some of the fans we
have in Australia that sent me some propaganda on this
podcast about Ozzy rules football, and I thought it was
pretty pretty neat watching some of the games and the
different weird rules they have and how crazy everyone is.
(39:30):
Come back, It's sign from Cale. Do a couple more.
Bobby from Dallas says favorite breakfast spot in Vegas. Well,
this one's easy for me, and I think you'll probably
agree with me Danny on this, but maybe not my
go to. And I'm not a big breakfast guy. I
my wife loves breakfast, so she'll drag me to breakfast.
(39:51):
I'm more of a lunch dinner guy. But when I
eat breakfast in Vegas, Hash House and Go Go, that's
the spot for me. Is the spot. There's several locations
in Vegas and they give you pancakes, and I don't
want I don't want to embellish how big the pancakes are,
and I'm gonna keep this conservative. They're the size of
(40:11):
the moon. Gratty bait taste like bo The pancakes are
the size of the moon, and they stack them up
and everything is jumbo jumbo sized that hash house and
go go, so make sure that you are very hungry.
(40:32):
You're a hungry hungry hippo when you go there. Any
other breakfast spots stand out there in Vegas, Danny, I
do have one for you, the Black Bear Diner. Okay,
you've seen those in lots of different cities. I don't
know if they have them on the East Coast. I'll
have to look into that, but there is one near
the new Allegiance Stadium, and Pete Rose goes there every
(40:54):
week like clockwork. He goes to the Black Bear Diner
near Allegiance Stadium. Lots of Raider fans have run into
him and taking pictures with him. So if you want
a good meal and you get to meet old Pete,
who we've been efforting to get on this podcast, yes,
that's the spot to go right there. So we should
just bring a recorder and go to the diner and
(41:17):
we can then have Pete man Foe drizzle our last
one from Paul in Great Falls, Montana. He says, hey
is a sporting question. Does the Pack twelve have a
puncher's chance of making the college football play? I say yes,
(41:38):
I say yes. There's a new sheriff in town, Lincoln
Riley at USC. And if he's as good as advertised,
now I have my doubts because it's not like he
built Oklahoma into what Oklahoma was. He inherited a wonderful
program from Bob Stoops and kept the ship sailing. But
all my friends that are USC boosters and the people
(42:00):
that I know around USC are so excited about Lincoln Riley.
They're like, oh my god, I think we were talking
about I might have to go back to the USC
games because they'll be cool again at the Coliseum there
with Lincoln Ridy. But that's the one. Other than that,
Oregon will have a good team again. They'll be in
the mix. The problem is, yeah, the Pack twelve. There's
(42:23):
so many mediocre teams in the Pack twelve that I
think it's gonna it's gonna hurt the big picture. Maybe
you run the table. If USC runs the table or
Oregon runs the table or loses only one game and
has an amazing, amazing season, and I say they will
get in, I'm going, Yes, I'm being Benny Brightside on
this one. That's what I am. Then I'm Benny bright
said in this one so as the kids say, l
(42:46):
f G the best players that NI L money can
buy baby, Yes, get the businesses, all the big boosters.
Right those checks, those oversized checks, and make sure they
don't bounce, and you'll be good to go. All we
gotta get out of here, Danny. Anything to promote now,
I'm on Cameo. If you want a Cameo message, you
can do that. And I will be returning to the
(43:08):
Fox Sports radio studios this week a few days, a
few days every week I will be in the studio
and it could change every week. Some days will be
one day, another next week the next, so who knows.
And it is also around this podcast, which is done
from the north Woods. Have you decided if you're gonna
come in studio tonight when I'm there, I have not
(43:29):
decided as a game time decision. That is a game
time decision. But I'm sure I will run into you, Danny.
I will be in there on the Sunday night in
the Monday morning at some point. But again I saw
I'll be starting that on Cameo as well. Cameo is
a website. You want a video message, a birthday bar
Mitzvah's weddings, funerals, you name it, Heltho. I've not really
(43:51):
done any funerals in order. I really want to. But
I am on there for this personalized Ben Mallard video.
I'm married, my wife, lets to dress up? She all right?
Talking right to you and a loved one. Yes, I
will do a eulogy for you if you want. All right, anyway,
(44:11):
what do you have, Danny drummote? What's going on in
your world? You're in the radio station all day? Yeah,
the Cavino and Rich shows a lot of fun on
Sunday afternoon into Sunday evening. Then it is time for
your man, Arnie Spaniard along with Chris Plank. Right before
you get on the air. That show goes until eleven
pm Pacific time. Oh, Laker fans, that's my my guy,
(44:36):
Arnie hot tub Barney. They called him back in the day,
hot tub Barney. Never before. If I've seen women run
faster than when Arnie got into the hot tub, You're
gonna have to retell that hot tub story sometimes. I'll
have to do that sometimes. But my man, Arnie, hang on,
I'm making a note of that. When and Arnie hot
tub story, Yeah, we'll get into that in a future podcast,
(45:01):
for sure. We have a wonderful rest of your Weekend's
a holiday weekend, but I'll be having a live show.
I'm not taking the holiday. I will be doing a
live show tonight and all weekends, so enjoy the holiday.
That's I'm gonna be part of the filling crew for
the Doug Gottlieb Show on Monday. All right, we'll enjoy,
(45:22):
and I'll be in my same time, same same Mallard time,
same Mallard station, and we will talk to you next time.
Asta pasta population
Host
Ben Maller
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