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May 25, 2024 26 mins

Ben Maller & Danny G. have a fun Saturday podcast for you! They talk: Blessing of Low Expectations, the Ninth Island, Buggy Bonanza, Idiom of the Week, & more! 

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):

Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's a clearinghouse
of hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth

Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Big
Ben and Danny g Radio No days off on a
wonderful holiday weekend. As we are hanging out with you
on this Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, a big lazy day here

Danny in the old broadcast dojo. As we're hanging out
here on the twenty fifth day of the month of
So do we have one more? I guess we have no.
This is our last Saturday pot, right, because there's thirty
one days in the month of My math is correct,
and today is the twenty fifth, So next Saturday will

be June first. Right? Is my computer like brain correct?

Speaker 3 (01:16):
They told me there would be no math involved. It's
not trigonometry. Yeah, all right, I'm adjusting my Janet Jackson, Mike,
I stole from the remote.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Well, you had a successful broadcast yesterday.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Yeah. I love Arizona and I don't want to spread
any rumors about the vegan but there was something we
did after the remote that involved something green.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Oh oh but not okay, Well, there's two types of
green he likes. There's two, Yeah, there could be either one.
I don't know. I have no idea. But Saturday is
National Wine Day today, dating, I'm not a wine guy.
Are you a wine guy?

Speaker 3 (01:54):
My wife he loves wine.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, my wife wants to be a wine person, but
we I don't really like to taste, and I don't
think she does anywhere any any any in any way.
But I think we are being dragged later this summer
to some kind of wine tasting event, which is going
to be very odd because I don't like wine. So
why would I go on a wine tasting thing if
I don't like wine.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, you'll have fun, though, because of the buzz from
wine is nice.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, Well, we'll have that. Also if you want to
celebrate today's National bath bomb Day. So and it's also
National brown Baggot.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Day as well, so it sounds very violent.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Holiday day today yeah, we got you bath bomb and
brown baggot, which is what David Vassie should put over
his head after this past week. But I digress. We're
only at deaf Con. We're only at deaf Con three.
We're only at deaf Con three. That's it. We're only
at deaf Con three. Today's a pod. We've got the
Blessing of Low Expectations, the Ninth Island, the Buggy Bonanza,

and we'll see what else we have time for. We
have some other stuff that we might get to, including
the Idiom of the week, but we'll start with this.
The last weekend, I was given the opportunity to do
something that I had not done in many, many years.
My mother in law, who I get along with. I'm
very lucky. I hear stories from dudes I can't stay

at my mother in law. Actually, I think it's often
women that hate their mother in law, but there are
guys that don't like their mother in law either. Anyway,
my mother in law's pretty cool. She was a nurse
for a long time, and she really likes to gamble like.
She enjoys gambling a lot. She likes playing the slot machines,
which is not a great thing for you in terms
of making money, right, you don't make a lot of

money at that. You often lose money. But every once
in a while she'll hit a jackpot and she's she's
very happy. So she contacts us this couple weeks back.
She's like, hey, I got I hit a jackpot and
I can get you a free room at she gambles
at one of the local Southern California Indian casinos. So

you know, it's a free room kind of nice thing.
It's a getaway, but it's not that far, which is
like the greatest thing. You don't have to travel out far.
You don't have to get on a plane or a train.
You just drive out and you go to this hotel
and you can gamble a little bit and if you're
into that kind of thing, and have a good time.
So we're like, okay, we'll do it. So she books

the hotel room and my wife's been taking some classes online.
She's been doing some school stuff in addition to her work,
and so she's kind of stressed out. We're like, all right,
we'll go out there. And she had very very low expectation.
She was not really looking forward to this. So we
get out there and it's out. We went to If

you're familiar with southern California, they have great commercials. Yamava.
Have you heard of Yamavay You've been to Yamava.

Speaker 3 (04:48):
I have been there one time. All right.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
So we got a room with the hotel at Yamava Casino,
which is in San Bernardino in the nine oh nine
in southern California. So we drives a pretty good drive
to get out there. It was like Friday night drive
out to Yama Bah and we're cruising on out there
and then whatever, and we go a couple of freeways,

get off the highway and Crackhead, Bob, Crackhead, Meg Crackhead, Steve, Crackhead, Sarah,
they're all there. Right. It is like I felt like
I was in San Francisco in the Tenderloin district. When
I got off the freeway, I'm like, oh boy, this
is like sodom and gomor here. What do we what
do we done? My wife's oh boy, oh man, and

we're like, oh, this is not good. This is not good.
And so we we get off the highway, turn left.
We stop at a red light. There's more people that
are really down the lock but want your money. I
don't know what their drug of choices. I can imagine
what it is, but whatever, whatever, you know, we keep
going and it's night, so everything everything looks scarier at

night and not true. Everything was a little more dangerous
at night. And so we're driving. We go up the hill,
you go down, turn left, go up a hill and
then we see at the very top of the hill
is this palace, like this beautiful palace, just magical. So
that's pretty cool. So we get up there and my

mother in law is like, you gotta go to the valet.
I'm like, I hate valet parking, but just go to
the vallet. So we went to the valet at the
hotel and we get out and it was amazing, Like
the hotel was was awesome. They had a robot it
was like from Star Wars was running around the lobby
of the hotel. It was adults only, so and they

had security everywhere to keep the people that were going
to mess up the hotel out, and the room was
first class. That I had not been to an Indian
casino in a long time because I did not have
some good experiences at them back in the day, Like
they were kind of eh, but this place was this
was like being in Vegas. I felt like I was

walking around in the casino floor at MGM or Aria
or somewhere like that.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Oh, it's not that far from your house, so I
know I could get into trouble.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
But there is no sports book because you know, there's
no sports gambling because of the Native American casinos. As
I was told, as I understand it, they blocked the
vote a couple of years ago because DraftKings and the
other major sports books that were not their books were
going to run sports gambling in California. So they spent

all this money to block it. While they're going to
have another vote, I believe in twenty twenty five. I
think it might be later this year, but I think
it's twenty twenty five. I'll have to double check on that,
and that will be the one. As I was told
that the Native American Indian casinos will support because they'll
be the ones in control of sports gambling. And then Danny,

oh boy, watch out, watch out, will I will be
a regular at Yama Vah and all these other hotel
casino places in southern California. I did see club member yes,
near the food court Danny. They did have what I
believe will be where their sports book is. They had
this little cutout with nothing but TVs and they had

a broadcast. I think it was the LAFC team was
playing Charlotte, I'm not sure. Last it was last Saturday,
and there were hundreds of dudes who were there drinking
in the bar area because they had like ten, fifteen,
twenty monitors and they all had the soccer game on
and they were making noise, going crazy. They were really

into it. I kind of wish I was into soccer
because I would be like, that's kind of cool. Like
they really were passionate. I was like, what do you
In my head, I'm like, why are you so excited?
It's zero zero, don't I don't understand. But they were
enjoying themselves, having a fine time, so it was great.
I mean, and they're not paying for me to say it.
They I don't even know if they're an advertiser or

not not getting anything out of this. I just thought
it was a great experience, and I I give part
of it. I didn't have to pay for it. Actually
think it's pretty expensive to stay at that particular hotel.
But my wife played the slots. I'm not a big
slot guy, and she actually made a little money. Yeah,

I guess we got some money here. Made a little
money playing the slots, which is which is rare.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
So so that was that.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was kind of neat. So I will be back. I
have a feeling this summer. I love going to Vegas too,
and I plan on going there. We're hoping to have
a Malard meet and greet in Last Wages Nevada at
some point this summer. But in between I'll probably be
back at Yamava and hanging out having a grand time.
I had some pretty good restaurants. Had a great pretzel there.

Some of the restaurants sucked.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
I'll give you one.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Don't eat at the George Lopez Cantina or whatever it's called.
Their bad restaurant. Did not like that man, But everything
else we ate was pretty pretty good.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
The Barbie scratch George Lopez off the list of potential
guests on the fifth hour.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I don't think we have to worry about that one.
He just probably put his name on the restaurant anyway,
he had nothing to do with the food. And the
barbecue place was pretty good. I was surprised did you.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Put your foot down though, celebrity or not wealthy or not.
If your name was on something, wouldn't you taste test everything?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah? But if you become a big enough name, you're
just a dumble.

Speaker 3 (10:29):

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Like if my name was on my name is on
I got I got chicken fingers in Kansas City, I
got the chicken sandwich. In Denver we got also the
malth Or Fowler.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yeah, but that's the menu. Imagine if your name was
in big neon lights in front of the restaurant.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
So if I was, like, I don't know, Colin Cowherd
or something like that. Yeah, yeah, I think this would
definitely be be different. I think that would be a
lot of fun. Though, to run a restaurant and the
promise you that's a big pain in the ass. It
is a couple of bad and the food goes bad,
you lose your money, you're fired. That'll put me out

on the Ninth Island, Danny, if I'm out there open rest.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Yeah, well, you know the Ninth Island is Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Is that right?

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Yeah, that's what Hawaiians call it. You know, there's such
a population of Hawaiian people there that they consider it
to be their home away from home. So when Mariota
was not taken, but when the Raiders signed him that offseason,
they were all excited there in Hawaii. They're like, yeah,
so really quick before I tell that story. This is

part of it. And this is when I was listening
to the Ben Mallor Overnight Show my WiFi and Big
Baby CoA have been under the weather. She's got an
air infection. He's also got a cough and he's been
tugging and rubbing on both of his ears. We have
to go to Kaiser's urgent care location which is in
Woodland Hills. So I got to jump on the one

on one Freeway. And here's the update from ABC seven.
Dunt dun duntu breaking news. The Wildlife Crossing over the
one on one Freeway and Agora Hills is one step
closer to completion after Cruise placed the final girder this week.

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Congratulations. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
And it shows a picture of it and in big
letters it says final girder placed on Wildlife crossing. And
now when you open up the article, there's been a
second animal sighting on top of the frame. Guess what
it was the first one was an owl? What did
somebody take a picture of what's that dan, A big

fat squirrel crossing. Oh one, squirrel saved.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
It was all worth it, all, it was worth it.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
The tally is now two animals, life saved and this
bridge is not even done yet. An owl and a
squirrel both crossed to the other side.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
You know what it is? A modern marvel? Yeah, is
a modern marvel.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Where are the applause?

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yes, tremendous job, very impressive there.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
So, Ben, we sit in this freaking traffic to get
through that part of the one oh one to go
to Woodland Hills, which is god awful now with the
overblown population and dirtiness of that city. Now, I used
to live there back in the day and it was cool.
Now it's just it's.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
The home of the rams A practice facility.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
They are, and well they're gonna have to do barriers.
There's just homeless encampments and tents all over that city.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
Now, well all over southern California.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
Well it did, I know, but the San Fernando Valley.
There were certain cities that didn't have that issue, and
now they do. So I'm listening to the end of
the Dodgers postgame and then your show comes on. We'ren't
able to make an appointment for either of them, so
we're thinking we could just walk them both in, and
the guy says, sorry, closes at nine pm. You gotta

go to the er which is next door. And I'm
not kidding you. There's about fifty hobos inside this place.
Homeless people were sleeping inside the emergency room waiting room.
So my wife says, I am not taking the baby
in there. We just scrap it. We drive back home.
Problem they're not even letting traffic go on that part

of the one o one. There's a route that you
have to take on side streets to get back onto
the one oh one later after you pass this wildlife crossing.
It took an extra twenty minutes to get home because
we were in a line of cars and I'm like,
this fucking thing saving an owl. I'm gonna I'm gonna
punch somebody in the throat right now. The air infection

is really bad for my WiFi. Co is still not
feeling better. So now fast forward a few days and
I take CoA myself to the urgent care in our town.
I was a hero for the day because my WIFEI
then drove her self di Woodland Hills after she found
an appointment for the day, so they were at the
same time. So I'm in there. I'm being super dad.

I was able to get him on the scale. This
kid is about thirty pounds, by the way, he was
just under thirty pounds. He's nine months old. The lady
was like, whoa, he's a whopper. He was smiling and
waving to the staff in there. They all loved him.
Oh dude, the receptionist said, he looks just like you.

He's adorable. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna start
taking him to the mall.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Here we go.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
I told my wife about that later and she's like,
you are not allowed to go anywhere with him by yourself.
So I get him back in his car seat and
I drive to Woodland Hills to meet her at her
appointment to hand him off because I got to go
to Sherman Oaks for the Coveno and Rich show. I
get in the car. He's all settled, he's got his babe,
as we call it, his bottle. And I looked down

at my left leg and it is just small in
what's the word when you rub your pant leg on
a tire word soot.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Yeah, like the rubber stuff.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Yeah yeah, it just just completely black crap all over
my gray, my nice gray joggers.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
And you're starting to look like a hobo.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
Yeah yeah, I looked like I belonged to the Woodland
Hills emergency room waiting room. I'm like, this sucks. So
I hand off the baby and I'm like, okay, perfect,
I have time now to go to the target. I do.
I have to try on a couple of pairs of
these joggers that I get there. Sitting there and doing
the show with Covino and Rich. This was this last Thursday,

and I'm feeling better about myself because I don't I
think I don't look like a hobo. This show ends
and Iowa, Sam tells me, what is that throw up?

Speaker 1 (16:53):

Speaker 3 (16:53):
What points to my left shoulder? And Ben, there is
this big pool of dried up puke from baby courtesy
of baby color.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
He left your assuming ear, He sure did, he said, Daddy,
I want you to have something to take the work
to show the boys.

Speaker 3 (17:13):
Oh here, I was worried about looking like a bum
because of the stain on my pants, and what I
really should have been worried about was the puke on
my left shoulder, and then I thought I rewound the
day in my mind. Big Mike who Coveno. All the
guys at the table when we did our pre show meeting,

they were probably staring at this puke on my shoulder
and nobody said a word.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Gives the hurl of shame new meaning Iowa.

Speaker 3 (17:43):
Sam was so nice to point it out. But I
call this the Ninth Island because if you go to
my Twitter account at Danny G Radio. Luckily, I was
wearing my Hawaii shirt that day that shows all the
islands and they're kind of like in a white color
on a dark shirt, okay, and then on my shoulder
the dried puke looks like the Ninth Island on the shirt.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Oh, that's that's nice.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, it's so sweet by coor that is so Yo Vegas.
You're not the Ninth Island. Puke on my shoulder was
the Ninth Island.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
I love it. That's great. Well, you know what I
felt like when Lorena was working one of the first
nights and she pointed out that my pants were covered
in hair from my dog Luigi, who sheds and was
jumping up on my lap, and I didn't realize it.
I was in a hurry to get out of the
house and I was covered in dog hair and that

was that was wonderful.

Speaker 3 (18:41):
Last week I bought a dog and I needed an emotion.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
So this is kind of an odd one. Danny. I'm
gonna call this the buggy Bonanza. And I blamed Supermarket
Steve for this. We've had an ongoing conversation on the
show the last couple of weeks about shopping cars. It's
it's actually gone on for a couple months. And I'm
on the right side of history. Many people are on
the wrong side of history. I stand with Supermarket Steve,
a man that's worked in the business for many, many years.

So I'm at the gym the other day and I'm
on YouTube trying to find something to wash to try
to kill the time while I'm on the treadmill, and
I don't normally do this, but for some reason, I
looked at the recommended for you section on YouTube and
guess what popped up? A documentary about grocery stores popped up.

Do you think maybe, just by chance, that's because the
phone's spying on me, Danny and has heard me talk
about shopping carts.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
It's the Russian spying through your phone exactly.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
But for some reason, because I'm an idiot, I clicked
on it. I was like, all right, I mean, maybe
i'll learn.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
Something makes sense.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
Uh, And so I click on this thing and I'm
watching and it was actually pretty pretty pretty good, and
I learned something, ironically enough, about the shopping cart. There
was this grocery store magnet in Oklahoma named Sylvan Goldman,

who Sylvan Goldman I believe is his name. I know
Goldman was last name. So he was in Oklahoma, and
he was the guy that invented the buggy, or as
we call it, the shopping cart, but back in those
days they called it the buggy. And in the nineteen thirties,

right nineteen thirties, the buggy slash grocer cart was invented
by this guy, Sylvan Goldman. But here's the thing I learned,
the thing that I took away from this documentary. People
hated it when they debuted the grocery cart. People were
offended by everyone couldn't They didn't like it. The people

of Woklahoma didn't like it. And the reason they didn't
like it is because the women were offended. They said
it looked like a baby carriage, and they didn't want
to push around a baby carriage. When they got a
moment's piece to go out shopping, They're like, you know,
fuck you, I'm not gonna push her out of a
baby carriage. And the men were offended because, you know,

they said, well, I can carry around. I'm a man.
I don't need that. I can carry around my groceries.
I don't need your little cart. What do you think
I am a woos So you know how this guy
got people to fall in love with the grocery cart.
You know what he did. He turned to boobies.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
I have milked all the goats.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
He turned to sex. He paid beautiful women, No, seriously,
he paid. There were women at the front of the store,
very attractive women, to stand at the the entrance to
the grocery store, to hand out the shopping carts and
explain how they work and how wonderful they were just
beautiful women. Uh. But then he also hired good looking

men and women to fake shop and to walk around
the grocery store pushing the cart because he realized that
people would see the other beautiful people and think, well,
beautiful people are doing it, and I want to be
a beautiful person, so I'm going to do this, like
the oldest trick in the book is the oldest trick

in the book. And it's like, you open a restaurant,
pay people to wait in line. Other people will wait
online because they think there must be something good because
there's people waiting online. Inn't that wild? I thought that
was great. I thought that was just wonderful that people
rejected the shopping cart. And if it wasn't for hot women,
we would not have the shopping cart today.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
So think, yeah, women in doubt higher plants.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
You got to do it sometimes, you know, you magicians
do it all the time. I've told the famous story.
I was at a magic show in Vegas, sitting kind
of near the right side of the venue near an
emergency exit, and about a quarter of the way through
the show, the emergency exit opened to my right and
a gentleman ran in through the emergency exit said, oh

my god, what happened? He had a baseball cap on,
he was sitting by himself, and no less than five
minutes later, just randomly, that guy got called up on stage.
It was amazing. What are the odds of that happening.
Shocking right.

Speaker 3 (23:31):
This reminds me of back in the day when I
was running nightclubs in line and they weren't in line
for very long. All the hottest girls, we would pull
them out of the line first and we would escort
them right to the front of the stage at the nightclub,
and we made sure that the artist we had coming
out to perform on the stage saw all of them first. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
Well, and it's one of the reasons in our culture
that hot women have the perspective they have on life
because they think that's how everyone had treated.

Speaker 3 (24:01):

Speaker 1 (24:01):
They get pulled out a line, they get the free drinks,
so they get everything's taken care of.

Speaker 2 (24:05):

Speaker 1 (24:06):
No, that's not us. Us Ugly people don't get that.
It's only the good looking people.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
To get that.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
But you know, it's a little good luck privilege. I
guess you could.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Say, well, the other girls all got in there too,
but we just put them behind the hot ones.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Hey, where are the white women at I'm a woman?

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Hear me raar.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
We have the idiom of the week, idio oh the week,
and the idiom of the week this week is square Meal. Danny.
Square Meal is the idiom of the week. Have you
heard that before? I need to have a square meal?

Speaker 3 (24:42):
Square meal? Yeah, heard that right. I haven't heard it
in a long time.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
But yeah, it's an outdated move, but why not. So
this actually goes back to the seventeen hundreds and British warships.
The term square meal. Now, when I was a kid,
I thought square meal meant you need to have your veggies,
you need to have some meat, you know a little
bit of this little bit that or.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
I thought it was lasagna.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Well, yeah, there you go, Garfield.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Yeah, the frozen square of lasagna.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, yeah, a square meal. In the seventeen hundreds, the
sailors in the British military, they had breakfast and lunch.
There were sporse meals they had, you know, just bread
and a beverage maybe, but the third meal of the
day included meat and was served on a square tray,
and that was the biggest meal of the day. And

hence a square meal was the most substantial meal served
and that continued on.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Here we are.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
I don't not use as much today as it has
been in years past, but it's still out there. Square
meal goes back to the seventeen hundreds on British warships,
and it was the one meal that you could eat
that was a hearty meal during the day. All Right,
we'll get out on that, Danny. Anything else you want.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
To promote, just gonna be going back to southwest to Burbank. Yeah,
this is another travel day after I produced this fine
podcast here.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
All right, have a great rest of your Saturday. I
got another pot on Sunday, the holiday weekend context Us.
We'll talk to you tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
Austa pasta bafolation
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