July 12, 2024 • 27 mins
Maller's on a secret island & STILL has a fun Friday for you with Danny G! They Talk: The New Toy, Maller's Horse Bleep Show, America's Favorite Hobo, Medical Madness, Phrase of the Week, & more!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Air everywhere The Fifth Hour you found it with me,
Big Ben and Danny g even on a vacation weekend.
The great thing about podcasting it goes where you go
at a super secret location somewhere far, far off the grid, Catalina,
(00:52):
off the beaten path, far away from humanity. We present
the Fifth Hour podcast that Danny Happy Friday to you.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yeah. Now, does your wife kind of look at you
sideways when you're working on a vacation, Like my better
half when I do the post production on the Fine Podcast,
She's like, oh, come on, we got to go to breakfast.
We had breakfast plans.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, yeah, she well she she looks down upon it.
But I say, listen, it's only a podcast, you know,
it's only like half an hour or whatever it is
to do this, yeah for you. But yeah, normally she's like,
come on, yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
In fact, we just need to go for five minutes
to get credit for this podcast. We got three minutes
left to record.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, well, well that's this podcast Zooming by Danny unless
it's not. But but no, it's it's it's it's a compromise.
As you know, relationships are all about compromise, and so
that's what this is.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yes, and you compromise by going to a secret island.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, well I don't maybe not an island. I don't know.
You could you could argue every piece of land is
kind of an island, right, You could argue that that
it was all together and it floated away and if
you believe the science community. So on this Friday podcast,
here we have the new toy Ben Mahlor, You've got
a horse, bleep show, America's favorite hobo, Medical Madness, and
(02:20):
we'll have some other random things that pop up here
on this Friday. But the beginning here, we start with
our new toy yet again, if you ask for it,
it will appear as we have a new device to
play with our friend ohio Al, who is the unofficial unpaid,
underappreciated imaging guy in many respects for this podcast. Al
(02:47):
likes to futts around with audio content and he's very good.
He's helped us out a lot. In fact, he's sent
in we requested this a fun fact jingle, Danny, and
tut up here it is. He said, this is a
a little bit of a Beach Boys tribute, if you will,
a parody of the Beach Boys. But this is the
(03:08):
latest stylings. Let's I think we should test this out now, Danny,
and get right to the fun facts to make sure
it works, because otherwise, what's the point of doing it right?
All right?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
So it's like you have a new toy, is what
it is?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
What's wrong with it?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Hit?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Hit the button, Dad, hit the button.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And all right, Oh that was Beach Boys esque.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
All right? Fun fact? Thank you, ohio, fun fact.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Fun fact perfect for you because you're in a hidden
location in the desert right now.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
That's how loud, amazing fun fact about the sloth, Danny.
The sloth believed to be the only mammal that does
not fart.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
That's so much better.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That is your fun Is that not a great fun fact?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Come on? Man?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
The slough why they don't fart. I don't know. Maybe
that's some kind of genetic mistake or something like that.
I don't know how you could be a mammal and
not fart, but apparently that is the case. So they
do not have to worry about flashulence. There's no rumbley
tumbly when you're you're hanging out there and you're doing
the sloth thing. They move so slowly that they don't
(04:27):
have to worry about it. So that is my friend.
You want to do another fun for hit again, Hit
it again.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
And.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right, bonus fun fact all because of Ohio. The
Wolsey Hall Auditorium that's in Yale, that's at Yale. That's
a famous Ivy League institution. It has a extra extra
extra jumbo size wide seat built to fit the famous
(05:00):
alumnus and former President William Howard Taft. Another fun fact.
That is my favorite president, William Howard Taft. I have
talked about this every President's day, Danny, and you were
with me for some of those President's days. I would
always go into my rant about how much I love
William Howard Taft and how important he is the great
(05:21):
fat President. Now we've had other fat presidents. But William
Howard Taft is my guy. That's about they had. He
got stuck in the bathtub. The legendary story goes right
back in the back in the day at the White House,
and he had the last presidential car and the first
(05:41):
or the last presidential cow and the first presidential car.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
So yeah, and a fun fact, Taft High School in
Woodland Hills, California, just down the street from our studios.
Both ice Cube and Easy were bust into that school
to go to high school there.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't hit the fun fact? Soundboy,
you try that to.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Get shoot one last fun fact?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Hit the button? H come on out, give it to me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Al wait three times? It's too many on one show.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
All right, oh man, all right, Well moving on from that.
Thanks to Ohio. I'll appreciate your generosity with your time,
the most valuable thing that we have. So the flag
is up?
Speaker 4 (06:28):
What is this?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Before I left on my well deserved hiatus trip to
Benny's bunker to unwind and reset the buttons do in
the summer? I'm told I never used to take vacation.
Then I got married. That's my wife you're talking about, man.
I take vacation. But nonetheless, before I left into Benny's bunker,
(06:54):
I made a rare and appropriate appearance on my friend
Ted Sobeles Now Ted, you's briefly worked at Fox Sports Radio.
I think he worked there for about two minutes, maybe
maybe a minute and a half, not even two minutes.
So Ted's been a longtime radio friend. I've known Ted
since I was a teenager back in the day and
I started in the business. He was a big news
anchor at KFWB in Los Angeles, was a legendary figure
(07:19):
in LA radio.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Ted so boys, he was on that expansion LA Sports
station that came along like ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Remember oh the Beast throwing over the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I've known Ted a long time. We go way back,
and so Ted asked you to do something, you gotta
do it. Ted's retired now I don't think he wants
to be retired. Well, he's semi retired. He does this
podcast stuff. So Ted reaches out to me. He says,
I'm doing this tribute show for this guy, Jim Healy,
(07:47):
and I'd love to have you pop on there if
you could, that would be great. It was the thirtieth
anniversary of Jim's passing this month. Now, my friend Ted
worked with Jim Heely in local Los Angeles radio at
the old k MPC seven to ten KMPC back when
that was the thing. Anyway, So get to the point, please.
So Ted had the son of Jim Heely, Patrick Heely
(08:10):
as a guest. Now, Patrick a longtime news reporter at
KNBC in Los Angeles. He just retired about a I
think a year ago, maybe not even a year ago.
So he was a news anchor and covered all the
big stories in La ojay, you name it over the years.
And so this was a retrospective on the career of
(08:31):
the man that has a star on the Wally Hollywood
Walk of Fame, Jim Heely. And I made an appearance
on the show Who Goofed? I've got to know now
the reason I was on there is because I am
part of the Jim Heely radio tree. And me explain. So,
when I was a kid, my mom I told this
(08:51):
story on my appearance there. But when I was a kid,
I would tag along with my mom and she worked
at a mailing she ran her own mailing this and
she'd go to like post offices and deliveries or whatever
in the afternoon, and she'd like bulk mail, so I
would go with her after school and then she would
(09:11):
throw me a bone. At five thirty we'd be stuck
in traffic and that's when the Jim Healy Show would
come on. And it was one of my early influences
into radio, and I was a huge fan. He was
really ahead of his time. He played all these drops
and different silly sound bites. It's the guy that gave
us the Tommy Lesorda rant and many rants by Tommy.
(09:35):
It was just one rand. If people know that Dave
Kingman over the years, that's I don't know people still
know it. But Dave, it's your opinion of Kingman's performance.
I'm stopped, I lose a game, and you asked me
my opinion of this performance. And then he went on
a rant like that which was which was wonderful, and
rants about al Campanis. Blame him. My fault campaign was
(09:59):
the GM of the Dodgers. In my fault, Campanis is
the blankety blank guy. My favorite, though, was the Bovoqua
from Lasorda, where he said, uh, Bavaqua called him a
fat little Italian or something like that, and then they
went to Thesorda and Lasorda responded, Bavoqua, he could hit water,
(10:19):
we fell out of anf and boat. Oh so good,
such a great rant anyway, so heally gave us all
these things. Also the first place I heard the greatest
rant of all time, the Lee Ilia rant, and I
was lucky enough to meet Les Grobstein before he passed away,
the guy that recorded that Lee Elia, the cup manager
who went on that famous rant about the cub fans.
(10:41):
Eighty five percent of the world's work, the other fifteen
percent come out here. It's a playground for the blank
blanks working the other fifteen come out here playground.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
It was just so good.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Uh so so it was cool. I got to pop
on there and hear some stories that I had not
heard before by people that knew Jim and very entertaining broadcaster.
One of the one of the neat things I got.
I've had a lot of great things sent by listeners
over the years, not including the goat heead that Doc
Mike had sent my way many many years ago. But
(11:16):
when I first got into radio, I had talked about
Jim Healy and a listener this was doing local LA Radio,
a listener dropped off to the station in this box.
A piece of it was like a plate. I looked
like a plate to me, Oh oh, it's a plate,
and I looked. I opened it up and I grabbed
it as it was actually an ashtray and it was
(11:38):
a Jim Healey ashtray from his show.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Yeah, he gave them away as promotional items.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I think that the radio station gave them away and
I have I've saved this thing. It's actually one of
the more prized items that I have of my knickknacks
that will all go into a landfill when I'm dead,
but I yeah, I have this thing. It's pretty it's
pretty close. All those little sayings on it all and
I say sayings Danny. It's all the things from the
from the show, like the drops, the flag is up,
(12:08):
and all these different things.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
If you had an ashtray, it would be like my
right hand's getting a workout. I'm a doctor.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
My right hand was getting a workout. Uh, I don't
know about that. I don't know about that. But anyway,
so that was that was so that that line the
flag is up and you've got a horse bleep show,
and that's all those are all drops of the Jim
Healy Show. So and it's fun all right. Now, moving
(12:38):
on from that, we have a update on America's favorite
hobo as yet again, the malord militia circling the wagons,
saving trying to save weed Man Hippie. To say this
is a well oiled machine would be a lie, an
absolute lie. But for the second time in the many
(12:59):
years that we have done the radio show, we have
had a call for help from weed Man. He got
evicted from his home.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I you been made in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Excidst me weed He spent much of the last few
months in jail, in and out of jail, living on
Lincoln Road. Now weed Man calls the show from Miami.
He's the laugh track to lame jokes. He's the grand
pooh Bah of lame jokes of the week. And he
got evicted because he didn't clean up after himself. And
I guess he didn't fill out some paperwork. I don't know.
(13:32):
I don't know all the details. But he got kicked
out of his place, and he had free government housing
in Miami, so he got kicked out of that and
he hasn't been able to get a place to stay
and so the Matlin Militia on the fourth of July weekend,
they called up. He called up. He called up, and
I thought we were just going to bust balls and
all that, and he's like, I need a place to stay,
you know that whole thing. So that's like whatever I
(13:54):
gave out the number. I thought I'd be polite. I said, Okay,
if somebody wants to reach out and help weed Man,
here's my EMI contact me, not thinking anyone was going
to contact me. Why would anyone contact me? But turns
out that there are some good souls out there, some
people that wanted to help out, that appreciate the comedic
value of weed Man and know what a character is
(14:16):
on the show, and they want to keep him out
of jail and keep him alive and all that. And
so I had multiple people. I was shocked. I had
multiple people that reached out, including several prominent p ones
who reached out to me to try to help weed Man,
whether it give him advice on how to get more
free stuff from the government, whether it be donation like
(14:40):
a GoFundMe starting for him, which I don't know if
that's a good idea. And we even had offer of lodging,
which was wonderful. And so some of the people that
reached out, and I'm not going to say the names
of everyone, but we had Joey the Bellman, who's a
key p one member of the show. Doesn't call that often,
(15:01):
but it sends the messages into the show. Joey the Bellman,
a blind Scott from Boston, reached out Kathy in Madison.
And so what I did is I tried to get
a hold of weed Man. Of course, his phone did
not work. He changed his number again, so I don't
have his number. But if you heard the final show
this week before I left for my well deserved hiatus,
(15:24):
he did call in. So I was able to give
weed Man the information. I said, listen, these people want
to help you out. Don't don't f this up. Don't
screw this up, Okay, because last time I think you
were with me, Danny, when this happened.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Yeah, he wanted to do a fundraiser. Remember, he wanted
to rent that hall and do like a comedy slash
tap dance.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Show, one man show in Vegas. And he wanted to
rent out a hall in Vegas and Benny, it was
a weed Man and me, I would be the sidekick.
And if I remember correctly, Danny, he wanted to charge
five hundred dollars a ticket.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
To see him, with some ridiculous price that he wanted
to checks.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And I said, no, one's going to pay for that.
Save your money, any right.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I told him let all the listeners in for free
and then make money off of, you know, merchandise.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, he wanted no part of that. He wanted no
part of that, and so he got upset and then
he was down on his luck and a listener who
was leaving Miami had a lease for a few more months,
said hey, weed Man, you can stay at this place
and hang out or whatever, and we men moved in
with a listener. Do you remember what happened after that, Danny?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, it did not go well. So we weed Man
accused me of having him kidnapped because I guess there
was some kind of disagreement between he and the guy
that invited him to stay at the house Shock and somehow,
I don't know exactly what happened. I think the cops
may have been involved, as I remember. Maybe I'm wrong
on that, but either way, weed Man was convinced that
(16:54):
I had him kidnapped and it was all an evil
scheme by me. He has promised me, Danny, that he
will not he will not say that again, that this
is a one time thing, and he's not going to
say that again.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Clearly a man of his word.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
He would never let me down. He would never ever
let me down at all. But thank you to Joey, Scott,
Kathy all the others that reached out with advice. Some
people sent numbers in Miami to call to get free crap.
I didn't know there's a whole network of free crap
you can get. Hopefully I don't need to use that,
but someday maybe I will. But there's a lot of
(17:31):
services that you can get that will provide you food
and we man has a phone. He is on Obama phone.
Some people get triggered when I say that, but that's
they call it. Yeah, the colloquial term is an Obama
phone because before President Obama that didn't exist. But they
give smartphones to poor people and people now under luck.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
It's my favorite thing about the mal or militia, besides
the entertaining phone calls, big big hearts. Everybody raised money
for Genie and Medford. Of course, too sure. Not only
have her been married properly, but for her bench that
is right there next to a homeless camp in southern California.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I got to tell you that I think it's more
important when you die to have a bench dedicated to you.
I agree, because more people sit on that bench and
who's on and piss on it and ship on it
and all that, but more people are around it. Then
how many people go to cemeteries. You go there when
somebody dies, and then when you're dead, you go there,
But you don't go and visit on the weekends. But
(18:28):
you go to a park on the weekends.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Right, maybe maybe not that park, but well, in the daytime,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
No, they cleaned it up. Yeah they did clean it up.
Yeah they got They had an overnight raid and evicted
all of the people that had decided to move in,
all the screwballs that had moved in there. And yeah,
so it's it's pretty nice. I was actually there a
couple months ago and it wasn't bad. I was shocked.
Speaking of the niceness, Danny, we have a medical madness update.
(19:00):
So disappointing, disappointing story. You might have heard this if
you listened to the Live Original Recipe radio show this week.
So Skeeter in Montana calls up and he's like, I
got a medical update. So I'm like, all right, I'm
sure this is probably good news. You wouldn't call what
bad news? That was bad news. So Skeeter told me
(19:22):
he has stage four lung cancer. And he says that
this originated he was in the military for years. He's
an old gentleman now older man in the military. For
years he was cleaning out the big ships in the Navy,
and they were using as bestis in the ships and
(19:42):
there's no windows on a ship, and you can imagine
what that was like. But he seemed very positive. He
says he's going to get on some special medication. From
what he said, the way I interpreted it, it is
designed for this type of cancer. That's him his bestest.
So he seemed genuinely optimistic about it. And Skeeter I
(20:05):
wanted to explain because some people were upset, like what
did you take that call? Who cares? You know? That
should be off the air. I'm like, well, Skeeter is
a radio friend. And one of the things about being
on the radio late at night is it it means
a little more to people than it does during the day,
because people have jobs and they're running around during A lot
of people listen alone. Not that people don't have jobs,
but a lot of people are lonely. They don't have family,
(20:27):
and Skeeter would be in that category. He's an older gentleman.
Family's not in the picture, friends are not around, and
he's got people that take care of him. So he
likes the show. He finds entertainment in the show, and
so we're like his extended family. And Skeeter's the reason
that we have the Mallard Militia oath. He called up
and he said, what's this Malard militia? I want to
(20:48):
be part of the Mallard militia. So he said, all right, look,
I'll go on the internet. I'll find an oath, and
I hijacked the military oath, moved some words around and
shut up. That was the Malor militia. Oh, but that's
because of Skeeter, because he wanted to join the militia.
So we we would advise you, if you're religious, please
(21:09):
say a prayer. If you're not religious, just send good
thoughts out to our friend Skeeter in Montana and hopefully
everything will work out for him. But he seems like
he has a good attitude about it. So that's that's good,
and we'll get out on this, Danny. We have the
phrase of the week, the phrase of the week. Here's
the phrase of the week, and this is in honor
(21:32):
of your guy, your favorite Laker, Bronnie James. Bronny Bronnie Brodny.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Yes you didn't say Kobe Bryant.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Oh no, Bronnie. Are you getting a Bronnie James tattoo?
That's the rumor in the building. You will get a
Bronnie James tattoo.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Tell you what if he can average six points a
game in his rookie season, I would get a Bronnie
tatt All right.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
That's on the record. Now, what if he plays like
four games and averages Yeah, you've already said it.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I said, he said it. It's called sarcasm, your big dope.
He's not even a scorer. He's like a role player.
He plays defense.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
But but if he plays four games in his rookie
season and averages the game, well, that would be his
rookie season.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Okay, but we don't count stats as a season unless
they played a bulk of the season.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, well listen, he's the he's lit. I call him
the NEPO or.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Thet You are so obsessed with the Lakers, you are
the biggest closet Laker fan on the planet.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Well this has been great for me and Rob Parker.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Promo that I hear your voice on on the network.
Well why do you think talking about the Lakers because
you love them?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
So that's a lie. The only reason that because Cooper,
who puts those promos, I don't put the promos in.
I have no control over the promo.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Those two guys that do production scan through your show,
no find highlights and in the system.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
All right, that's a fair point. All right, that's a
fair point. By speaking of that week, before I get
to the phrase of the week here, there was a
discussion on the air. Yet again, I'm still getting email
from people the podcast airing the winter version of the
tire rack commercial. So I asked Coop on the air.
I said, Coop, you know this thing's still airing, and
he says, I have no control over that. I don't
(23:26):
And so everyone I I brought this up to.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
You're talking that there's somebody you can send an email
to though if you work all right.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
But but here's my point. It's like everyone I've talked
to about I'm talking about your production stuff. No, no,
I know, but I'm but I'm saying like, it's uh.
Every time I bring this up, it's like there's a
it's the corporate bureaucracy. People point somebody out on my fault.
It's like, I have no idea this has been going on.
It's gonna be almost winter again, so it's almost going
(23:57):
to be fine because if people just hear the commercial
and then but they'll be a different winter commercial, right,
there'll be a different version of the commercial next year
or next to this coming winter.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Yeah, just let me keep playing until we actually get
to winter.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, I say, for half a year, it'll be fine.
It'll be perfectly all right. But the phrase of the
week is nepo a baby or nepotism. Now the nepos
Nepotism is a term that refers obviously to favoritism shown
to a relatives, especially in appointment to high office. You
think of it normally in politics or in entertainment. The
(24:30):
term actually dates back to the fourteenth or fifteenth century,
and it was first used to describe the corrupt practice
by popes of appointing male relatives to cardinal ats positions.
It says cardinal ates at the end. I don't know
that word, but okay, other important positions as well. And
(24:55):
the word nepotism derived from the Latin root word nepos,
meaning nephew or grandson, and then it was combined with
the Italian word nipoity I believe how you say it,
which referred to the number of relatives. Now here's the
interesting thing. Nepotism baby. Nepotism baby only goes back to
(25:18):
nineteen fifteen. Nepo baby. They believe it only goes back
to twenty twenty two. Is that possible? Maybe it is.
That's what they claim that it's it's only been around
for a couple years. Nepo baby.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Huh Lee.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Nepo Danny was invented in twenty twenty four in the
Lakers embarrassed the franchise and and drafted Yeah, bronzekids. Yeah,
point that out. Where's Paul Georgia when you need him?
Choking on a cheese steak. I'm so happy he's gone.
Great move by the Clippers.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
This is your go to when everywhere. Team lets the
bed on player contracts. You're like bon voyage. I didn't
like you anyways.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Danny, don't let a falling star fall here we go.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Then why did they give Kawhi all that money? He's
younger and and he's more beat up. No more time?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Well he is. He has missed time, but he's not
beat up because he doesn't he misses so much time.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
He's fine anytime he tries to get back out there
though he like retweaks whatever is aggravating him.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Well, he just needs more time off, and he's able
to sail through the rough season of San Diego. Anyway.
All right, we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful
rest of your Friday. We will have new podcasts all
weekend long, So Danny, anything you want to promote here
on Friday, and.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Yeah, it will be in for a fun Friday afternoon.
No Covino and Rich because they're starting their vacation a
day before I get to have one. I'm going to
be in with Monsey and Carrie Rhodes.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Who all right, enjoy that, have a wonderful day. I'm
gonna go go Cowabunga.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Dude, Yeah, you took a cruise to Alaska.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I'm in Fresno. Catch you next though.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Austa Pasta gotta murder, I gotta go.
Kabbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The clearing House of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Air everywhere The Fifth Hour you found it with me,
Big Ben and Danny g even on a vacation weekend.
The great thing about podcasting it goes where you go
at a super secret location somewhere far, far off the grid, Catalina,
(00:52):
off the beaten path, far away from humanity. We present
the Fifth Hour podcast that Danny Happy Friday to you.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Yeah. Now, does your wife kind of look at you
sideways when you're working on a vacation, Like my better
half when I do the post production on the Fine Podcast,
She's like, oh, come on, we got to go to breakfast.
We had breakfast plans.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Yeah, yeah, she well she she looks down upon it.
But I say, listen, it's only a podcast, you know,
it's only like half an hour or whatever it is
to do this, yeah for you. But yeah, normally she's like,
come on, yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
In fact, we just need to go for five minutes
to get credit for this podcast. We got three minutes
left to record.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, well, well that's this podcast Zooming by Danny unless
it's not. But but no, it's it's it's it's a compromise.
As you know, relationships are all about compromise, and so
that's what this is.
Speaker 4 (01:53):
Yes, and you compromise by going to a secret island.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, well I don't maybe not an island. I don't know.
You could you could argue every piece of land is
kind of an island, right, You could argue that that
it was all together and it floated away and if
you believe the science community. So on this Friday podcast,
here we have the new toy Ben Mahlor, You've got
a horse, bleep show, America's favorite hobo, Medical Madness, and
(02:20):
we'll have some other random things that pop up here
on this Friday. But the beginning here, we start with
our new toy yet again, if you ask for it,
it will appear as we have a new device to
play with our friend ohio Al, who is the unofficial unpaid,
underappreciated imaging guy in many respects for this podcast. Al
(02:47):
likes to futts around with audio content and he's very good.
He's helped us out a lot. In fact, he's sent
in we requested this a fun fact jingle, Danny, and
tut up here it is. He said, this is a
a little bit of a Beach Boys tribute, if you will,
a parody of the Beach Boys. But this is the
(03:08):
latest stylings. Let's I think we should test this out now, Danny,
and get right to the fun facts to make sure
it works, because otherwise, what's the point of doing it right?
All right?
Speaker 4 (03:18):
So it's like you have a new toy, is what
it is?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
What's wrong with it?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Hit?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Hit the button, Dad, hit the button.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
And all right, Oh that was Beach Boys esque.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
All right? Fun fact? Thank you, ohio, fun fact.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Fun fact perfect for you because you're in a hidden
location in the desert right now.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
That's how loud, amazing fun fact about the sloth, Danny.
The sloth believed to be the only mammal that does
not fart.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
That's so much better.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That is your fun Is that not a great fun fact?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Come on? Man?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
The slough why they don't fart. I don't know. Maybe
that's some kind of genetic mistake or something like that.
I don't know how you could be a mammal and
not fart, but apparently that is the case. So they
do not have to worry about flashulence. There's no rumbley
tumbly when you're you're hanging out there and you're doing
the sloth thing. They move so slowly that they don't
(04:27):
have to worry about it. So that is my friend.
You want to do another fun for hit again, Hit
it again.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
And.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right, bonus fun fact all because of Ohio. The
Wolsey Hall Auditorium that's in Yale, that's at Yale. That's
a famous Ivy League institution. It has a extra extra
extra jumbo size wide seat built to fit the famous
(05:00):
alumnus and former President William Howard Taft. Another fun fact.
That is my favorite president, William Howard Taft. I have
talked about this every President's day, Danny, and you were
with me for some of those President's days. I would
always go into my rant about how much I love
William Howard Taft and how important he is the great
(05:21):
fat President. Now we've had other fat presidents. But William
Howard Taft is my guy. That's about they had. He
got stuck in the bathtub. The legendary story goes right
back in the back in the day at the White House,
and he had the last presidential car and the first
(05:41):
or the last presidential cow and the first presidential car.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
So yeah, and a fun fact, Taft High School in
Woodland Hills, California, just down the street from our studios.
Both ice Cube and Easy were bust into that school
to go to high school there.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't hit the fun fact? Soundboy,
you try that to.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
Get shoot one last fun fact?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Hit the button? H come on out, give it to me.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Al wait three times? It's too many on one show.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
All right, oh man, all right, Well moving on from that.
Thanks to Ohio. I'll appreciate your generosity with your time,
the most valuable thing that we have. So the flag
is up?
Speaker 4 (06:28):
What is this?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Before I left on my well deserved hiatus trip to
Benny's bunker to unwind and reset the buttons do in
the summer? I'm told I never used to take vacation.
Then I got married. That's my wife you're talking about, man.
I take vacation. But nonetheless, before I left into Benny's bunker,
(06:54):
I made a rare and appropriate appearance on my friend
Ted Sobeles Now Ted, you's briefly worked at Fox Sports Radio.
I think he worked there for about two minutes, maybe
maybe a minute and a half, not even two minutes.
So Ted's been a longtime radio friend. I've known Ted
since I was a teenager back in the day and
I started in the business. He was a big news
anchor at KFWB in Los Angeles, was a legendary figure
(07:19):
in LA radio.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Ted so boys, he was on that expansion LA Sports
station that came along like ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Remember oh the Beast throwing over the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I've known Ted a long time. We go way back,
and so Ted asked you to do something, you gotta
do it. Ted's retired now I don't think he wants
to be retired. Well, he's semi retired. He does this
podcast stuff. So Ted reaches out to me. He says,
I'm doing this tribute show for this guy, Jim Healy,
(07:47):
and I'd love to have you pop on there if
you could, that would be great. It was the thirtieth
anniversary of Jim's passing this month. Now, my friend Ted
worked with Jim Heely in local Los Angeles radio at
the old k MPC seven to ten KMPC back when
that was the thing. Anyway, So get to the point, please.
So Ted had the son of Jim Heely, Patrick Heely
(08:10):
as a guest. Now, Patrick a longtime news reporter at
KNBC in Los Angeles. He just retired about a I
think a year ago, maybe not even a year ago.
So he was a news anchor and covered all the
big stories in La ojay, you name it over the years.
And so this was a retrospective on the career of
(08:31):
the man that has a star on the Wally Hollywood
Walk of Fame, Jim Heely. And I made an appearance
on the show Who Goofed? I've got to know now
the reason I was on there is because I am
part of the Jim Heely radio tree. And me explain. So,
when I was a kid, my mom I told this
(08:51):
story on my appearance there. But when I was a kid,
I would tag along with my mom and she worked
at a mailing she ran her own mailing this and
she'd go to like post offices and deliveries or whatever
in the afternoon, and she'd like bulk mail, so I
would go with her after school and then she would
(09:11):
throw me a bone. At five thirty we'd be stuck
in traffic and that's when the Jim Healy Show would
come on. And it was one of my early influences
into radio, and I was a huge fan. He was
really ahead of his time. He played all these drops
and different silly sound bites. It's the guy that gave
us the Tommy Lesorda rant and many rants by Tommy.
(09:35):
It was just one rand. If people know that Dave
Kingman over the years, that's I don't know people still
know it. But Dave, it's your opinion of Kingman's performance.
I'm stopped, I lose a game, and you asked me
my opinion of this performance. And then he went on
a rant like that which was which was wonderful, and
rants about al Campanis. Blame him. My fault campaign was
(09:59):
the GM of the Dodgers. In my fault, Campanis is
the blankety blank guy. My favorite, though, was the Bovoqua
from Lasorda, where he said, uh, Bavaqua called him a
fat little Italian or something like that, and then they
went to Thesorda and Lasorda responded, Bavoqua, he could hit water,
(10:19):
we fell out of anf and boat. Oh so good,
such a great rant anyway, so heally gave us all
these things. Also the first place I heard the greatest
rant of all time, the Lee Ilia rant, and I
was lucky enough to meet Les Grobstein before he passed away,
the guy that recorded that Lee Elia, the cup manager
who went on that famous rant about the cub fans.
(10:41):
Eighty five percent of the world's work, the other fifteen
percent come out here. It's a playground for the blank
blanks working the other fifteen come out here playground.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
It was just so good.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Uh so so it was cool. I got to pop
on there and hear some stories that I had not
heard before by people that knew Jim and very entertaining broadcaster.
One of the one of the neat things I got.
I've had a lot of great things sent by listeners
over the years, not including the goat heead that Doc
Mike had sent my way many many years ago. But
(11:16):
when I first got into radio, I had talked about
Jim Healy and a listener this was doing local LA Radio,
a listener dropped off to the station in this box.
A piece of it was like a plate. I looked
like a plate to me, Oh oh, it's a plate,
and I looked. I opened it up and I grabbed
it as it was actually an ashtray and it was
(11:38):
a Jim Healey ashtray from his show.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
Yeah, he gave them away as promotional items.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I think that the radio station gave them away and
I have I've saved this thing. It's actually one of
the more prized items that I have of my knickknacks
that will all go into a landfill when I'm dead,
but I yeah, I have this thing. It's pretty it's
pretty close. All those little sayings on it all and
I say sayings Danny. It's all the things from the
from the show, like the drops, the flag is up,
(12:08):
and all these different things.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
If you had an ashtray, it would be like my
right hand's getting a workout. I'm a doctor.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
My right hand was getting a workout. Uh, I don't
know about that. I don't know about that. But anyway,
so that was that was so that that line the
flag is up and you've got a horse bleep show,
and that's all those are all drops of the Jim
Healy Show. So and it's fun all right. Now, moving
(12:38):
on from that, we have a update on America's favorite
hobo as yet again, the malord militia circling the wagons,
saving trying to save weed Man Hippie. To say this
is a well oiled machine would be a lie, an
absolute lie. But for the second time in the many
(12:59):
years that we have done the radio show, we have
had a call for help from weed Man. He got
evicted from his home.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I you been made in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Excidst me weed He spent much of the last few
months in jail, in and out of jail, living on
Lincoln Road. Now weed Man calls the show from Miami.
He's the laugh track to lame jokes. He's the grand
pooh Bah of lame jokes of the week. And he
got evicted because he didn't clean up after himself. And
I guess he didn't fill out some paperwork. I don't know.
(13:32):
I don't know all the details. But he got kicked
out of his place, and he had free government housing
in Miami, so he got kicked out of that and
he hasn't been able to get a place to stay
and so the Matlin Militia on the fourth of July weekend,
they called up. He called up. He called up, and
I thought we were just going to bust balls and
all that, and he's like, I need a place to stay,
you know that whole thing. So that's like whatever I
(13:54):
gave out the number. I thought I'd be polite. I said, Okay,
if somebody wants to reach out and help weed Man,
here's my EMI contact me, not thinking anyone was going
to contact me. Why would anyone contact me? But turns
out that there are some good souls out there, some
people that wanted to help out, that appreciate the comedic
value of weed Man and know what a character is
(14:16):
on the show, and they want to keep him out
of jail and keep him alive and all that. And
so I had multiple people. I was shocked. I had
multiple people that reached out, including several prominent p ones
who reached out to me to try to help weed Man,
whether it give him advice on how to get more
free stuff from the government, whether it be donation like
(14:40):
a GoFundMe starting for him, which I don't know if
that's a good idea. And we even had offer of lodging,
which was wonderful. And so some of the people that
reached out, and I'm not going to say the names
of everyone, but we had Joey the Bellman, who's a
key p one member of the show. Doesn't call that often,
(15:01):
but it sends the messages into the show. Joey the Bellman,
a blind Scott from Boston, reached out Kathy in Madison.
And so what I did is I tried to get
a hold of weed Man. Of course, his phone did
not work. He changed his number again, so I don't
have his number. But if you heard the final show
this week before I left for my well deserved hiatus,
(15:24):
he did call in. So I was able to give
weed Man the information. I said, listen, these people want
to help you out. Don't don't f this up. Don't
screw this up, Okay, because last time I think you
were with me, Danny, when this happened.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Yeah, he wanted to do a fundraiser. Remember, he wanted
to rent that hall and do like a comedy slash
tap dance.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Show, one man show in Vegas. And he wanted to
rent out a hall in Vegas and Benny, it was
a weed Man and me, I would be the sidekick.
And if I remember correctly, Danny, he wanted to charge
five hundred dollars a ticket.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
To see him, with some ridiculous price that he wanted
to checks.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And I said, no, one's going to pay for that.
Save your money, any right.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
I told him let all the listeners in for free
and then make money off of, you know, merchandise.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, he wanted no part of that. He wanted no
part of that, and so he got upset and then
he was down on his luck and a listener who
was leaving Miami had a lease for a few more months,
said hey, weed Man, you can stay at this place
and hang out or whatever, and we men moved in
with a listener. Do you remember what happened after that, Danny?
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah, it did not go well. So we weed Man
accused me of having him kidnapped because I guess there
was some kind of disagreement between he and the guy
that invited him to stay at the house Shock and somehow,
I don't know exactly what happened. I think the cops
may have been involved, as I remember. Maybe I'm wrong
on that, but either way, weed Man was convinced that
(16:54):
I had him kidnapped and it was all an evil
scheme by me. He has promised me, Danny, that he
will not he will not say that again, that this
is a one time thing, and he's not going to
say that again.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Clearly a man of his word.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
He would never let me down. He would never ever
let me down at all. But thank you to Joey, Scott,
Kathy all the others that reached out with advice. Some
people sent numbers in Miami to call to get free crap.
I didn't know there's a whole network of free crap
you can get. Hopefully I don't need to use that,
but someday maybe I will. But there's a lot of
(17:31):
services that you can get that will provide you food
and we man has a phone. He is on Obama phone.
Some people get triggered when I say that, but that's
they call it. Yeah, the colloquial term is an Obama
phone because before President Obama that didn't exist. But they
give smartphones to poor people and people now under luck.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
It's my favorite thing about the mal or militia, besides
the entertaining phone calls, big big hearts. Everybody raised money
for Genie and Medford. Of course, too sure. Not only
have her been married properly, but for her bench that
is right there next to a homeless camp in southern California.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
I got to tell you that I think it's more
important when you die to have a bench dedicated to you.
I agree, because more people sit on that bench and
who's on and piss on it and ship on it
and all that, but more people are around it. Then
how many people go to cemeteries. You go there when
somebody dies, and then when you're dead, you go there,
But you don't go and visit on the weekends. But
(18:28):
you go to a park on the weekends.
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Right, maybe maybe not that park, but well, in the daytime,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
No, they cleaned it up. Yeah they did clean it up.
Yeah they got They had an overnight raid and evicted
all of the people that had decided to move in,
all the screwballs that had moved in there. And yeah,
so it's it's pretty nice. I was actually there a
couple months ago and it wasn't bad. I was shocked.
Speaking of the niceness, Danny, we have a medical madness update.
(19:00):
So disappointing, disappointing story. You might have heard this if
you listened to the Live Original Recipe radio show this week.
So Skeeter in Montana calls up and he's like, I
got a medical update. So I'm like, all right, I'm
sure this is probably good news. You wouldn't call what
bad news? That was bad news. So Skeeter told me
(19:22):
he has stage four lung cancer. And he says that
this originated he was in the military for years. He's
an old gentleman now older man in the military. For
years he was cleaning out the big ships in the Navy,
and they were using as bestis in the ships and
(19:42):
there's no windows on a ship, and you can imagine
what that was like. But he seemed very positive. He
says he's going to get on some special medication. From
what he said, the way I interpreted it, it is
designed for this type of cancer. That's him his bestest.
So he seemed genuinely optimistic about it. And Skeeter I
(20:05):
wanted to explain because some people were upset, like what
did you take that call? Who cares? You know? That
should be off the air. I'm like, well, Skeeter is
a radio friend. And one of the things about being
on the radio late at night is it it means
a little more to people than it does during the day,
because people have jobs and they're running around during A lot
of people listen alone. Not that people don't have jobs,
but a lot of people are lonely. They don't have family,
(20:27):
and Skeeter would be in that category. He's an older gentleman.
Family's not in the picture, friends are not around, and
he's got people that take care of him. So he
likes the show. He finds entertainment in the show, and
so we're like his extended family. And Skeeter's the reason
that we have the Mallard Militia oath. He called up
and he said, what's this Malard militia? I want to
(20:48):
be part of the Mallard militia. So he said, all right, look,
I'll go on the internet. I'll find an oath, and
I hijacked the military oath, moved some words around and
shut up. That was the Malor militia. Oh, but that's
because of Skeeter, because he wanted to join the militia.
So we we would advise you, if you're religious, please
(21:09):
say a prayer. If you're not religious, just send good
thoughts out to our friend Skeeter in Montana and hopefully
everything will work out for him. But he seems like
he has a good attitude about it. So that's that's good,
and we'll get out on this, Danny. We have the
phrase of the week, the phrase of the week. Here's
the phrase of the week, and this is in honor
(21:32):
of your guy, your favorite Laker, Bronnie James. Bronny Bronnie Brodny.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
Yes you didn't say Kobe Bryant.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Oh no, Bronnie. Are you getting a Bronnie James tattoo?
That's the rumor in the building. You will get a
Bronnie James tattoo.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
Tell you what if he can average six points a
game in his rookie season, I would get a Bronnie
tatt All right.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
That's on the record. Now, what if he plays like
four games and averages Yeah, you've already said it.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I said, he said it. It's called sarcasm, your big dope.
He's not even a scorer. He's like a role player.
He plays defense.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
But but if he plays four games in his rookie
season and averages the game, well, that would be his
rookie season.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Okay, but we don't count stats as a season unless
they played a bulk of the season.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, well listen, he's the he's lit. I call him
the NEPO or.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
Thet You are so obsessed with the Lakers, you are
the biggest closet Laker fan on the planet.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Well this has been great for me and Rob Parker.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Promo that I hear your voice on on the network.
Well why do you think talking about the Lakers because
you love them?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
So that's a lie. The only reason that because Cooper,
who puts those promos, I don't put the promos in.
I have no control over the promo.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Those two guys that do production scan through your show,
no find highlights and in the system.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
All right, that's a fair point. All right, that's a
fair point. By speaking of that week, before I get
to the phrase of the week here, there was a
discussion on the air. Yet again, I'm still getting email
from people the podcast airing the winter version of the
tire rack commercial. So I asked Coop on the air.
I said, Coop, you know this thing's still airing, and
he says, I have no control over that. I don't
(23:26):
And so everyone I I brought this up to.
Speaker 4 (23:30):
You're talking that there's somebody you can send an email
to though if you work all right.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
But but here's my point. It's like everyone I've talked
to about I'm talking about your production stuff. No, no,
I know, but I'm but I'm saying like, it's uh.
Every time I bring this up, it's like there's a
it's the corporate bureaucracy. People point somebody out on my fault.
It's like, I have no idea this has been going on.
It's gonna be almost winter again, so it's almost going
(23:57):
to be fine because if people just hear the commercial
and then but they'll be a different winter commercial, right,
there'll be a different version of the commercial next year
or next to this coming winter.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
Yeah, just let me keep playing until we actually get
to winter.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah, I say, for half a year, it'll be fine.
It'll be perfectly all right. But the phrase of the
week is nepo a baby or nepotism. Now the nepos
Nepotism is a term that refers obviously to favoritism shown
to a relatives, especially in appointment to high office. You
think of it normally in politics or in entertainment. The
(24:30):
term actually dates back to the fourteenth or fifteenth century,
and it was first used to describe the corrupt practice
by popes of appointing male relatives to cardinal ats positions.
It says cardinal ates at the end. I don't know
that word, but okay, other important positions as well. And
(24:55):
the word nepotism derived from the Latin root word nepos,
meaning nephew or grandson, and then it was combined with
the Italian word nipoity I believe how you say it,
which referred to the number of relatives. Now here's the
interesting thing. Nepotism baby. Nepotism baby only goes back to
(25:18):
nineteen fifteen. Nepo baby. They believe it only goes back
to twenty twenty two. Is that possible? Maybe it is.
That's what they claim that it's it's only been around
for a couple years. Nepo baby.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
Huh Lee.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Nepo Danny was invented in twenty twenty four in the
Lakers embarrassed the franchise and and drafted Yeah, bronzekids. Yeah,
point that out. Where's Paul Georgia when you need him?
Choking on a cheese steak. I'm so happy he's gone.
Great move by the Clippers.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
This is your go to when everywhere. Team lets the
bed on player contracts. You're like bon voyage. I didn't
like you anyways.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Danny, don't let a falling star fall here we go.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Then why did they give Kawhi all that money? He's
younger and and he's more beat up. No more time?
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Well he is. He has missed time, but he's not
beat up because he doesn't he misses so much time.
Speaker 5 (26:11):
He's fine anytime he tries to get back out there
though he like retweaks whatever is aggravating him.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Well, he just needs more time off, and he's able
to sail through the rough season of San Diego. Anyway.
All right, we'll get out on that. Have a wonderful
rest of your Friday. We will have new podcasts all
weekend long, So Danny, anything you want to promote here
on Friday, and.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Yeah, it will be in for a fun Friday afternoon.
No Covino and Rich because they're starting their vacation a
day before I get to have one. I'm going to
be in with Monsey and Carrie Rhodes.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Who all right, enjoy that, have a wonderful day. I'm
gonna go go Cowabunga.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Dude, Yeah, you took a cruise to Alaska.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I'm in Fresno. Catch you next though.
Speaker 4 (27:01):
Austa Pasta gotta murder, I gotta go.
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