May 5, 2024 • 37 mins
Maller & Danny G. deliver Mail Bag fun for your Cinco de Mayo! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's the clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air Eyway. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler
and Danny g Radio a special holiday edition of The
Fifth Hour as we celebrate Sinkle de Mio. It's all
about Margarita's salsa chips. It's a fiesta. It's an audio fiesta.
(00:53):
Ya ya, give me my tacos dorado right now.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Man, you like those gringo crunchy talk I do? I do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I love my my friend Alex, my Mexican friend Alex,
who died years ago. He used to always call me
the gringo taco guy. It's true, I love them. I
love them. Their crunchy taco is so damn good.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Remember when your boy Trump pissed off the whole country,
or some of the country, the complainers when he said
happy seek go to my ownd. It was a picture
of him with a tostata.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well, there's certain people can't take a joke.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I love Mexico.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I love the Mexican people.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Two waiters came up to me tonight, mister Trump, we
love you, but but you looked like Taco bell.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
It was awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now, as you mentioned, there are people, Danny, I think
you said this on yesterday's podcast. There's people. There's a
lot of people ever either think this is Mexican Independence Day.
It is not Mexican Independence Day.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
No, it is not. This is to celebrate the big
victory over the very large French army with a very
small Mexican army at the time.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah. So it was when the An upset. People love
upsets in war. In sports, people love upsets. They love
David versus Go wins.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
This was like the Falcons blowing out the pitch. Wait
a second, didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's like when the Devil Rays won the World Series.
They didn't. They didn't actually didn't actually do that. And
it's great because the French military they have a wonderful
reputation right the the act of a French soldier surrendering,
it's just acquiescing however you want to say it. There
so happy Sinco de Mile.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah. On Friday's Coveno and Rich Show, Me and Coveno
Rich was away in New York, Covino and I we
pulled a Petros and money and we were doing shots
of tequila in the air.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh, that's like Scott Farrell, man, Rack them up, Rack
them Still the craziest podcast we've done. On the fifth hour.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Oh, he was snorting cocaine with stacks of cash on
a hotel bed while naked on the phone with you.
That's the craziest interview I've ever booked in my whole career.
And I booked in India in India's most famous tiger hunter.
(03:21):
And the list goes on. But Farrell doing cocaine on
a stack of money on a bed talking to Ben
Mallard takes the cake.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm still impressed that you were able to get a
sitting president on the radio. That is an outstanding, absolutely outstanding.
It's also naty.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Are you more impressed that it was I got him?
Or the beekeeper from Arizona the other day?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh? The beekeepers that's cool too, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, he was a he was a cool guy too.
He seemed very down to earth and a nice guy,
even though he's a d Bags fan.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I didn't see that. I didn't hear the story. What
was the story like?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Did they?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Was he at home when they call?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So he was at his son's t ball game with
his family, and the stadium folks there at Chase called him.
They have his pet control pest control company on speed dial,
and they're like, dude, we need you over here now.
And so he sped over to the stadium and he
had to use a scissor lift he wasn't familiar with
to get up to the swarm of bees, and he was.
(04:20):
He said, he was shaken up there. He was really
nervous because of all the things that could go wrong.
He was scared the bees were going to swarm out
and sting people in the stands. So he comes down
from the scissor lift, he gets a standing ovation and
then the Diamondbacks asked him, would you throw out the
ceremonial first pitch, And that's what he did, and he
threw a decent pitch, better than some celebrities have thrown.
(04:43):
And they called him the hero, the hero of the
week in Major League baseball.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, he hays own card baseball Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Tops, Yeah, Tops called him on Wednesday morning and said, hey,
we're gonna offer you your own baseball card. And he's like,
let's do it. So that that was cool. And also
he mentioned on the Covino and Rich Show that the
Diamondbacks have reached back out to him and they're gonna
roll out the red carpet, roll out the red carpet
(05:13):
for his family and they get to like get the
whole you know, royal treatment.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh great. Yeah, Well, when you never know what opportunity
is gonna knock, you better answer the door. You better
answer the door. I'm sure his kid's not too upset
that he had to leave the t ball game because
now he'll get the VIP toward the Diamondback game. Help set.
Were the Diamondbacks this week? It was like Dodgers Stadium
in Arizona. Did you see that?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah? And it's funny because the whole story with the
Knicks and the Sixers and the Sixers front office buying
thousands of seats because they didn't want to be infiltrated
by Knicks fans.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, it's it's wild. I mean, I I traveled briefly
years ago with the Dodgers, but it was never like that,
like there would be Dodger fans everywhere the team went.
There'd be a few. I was telling the story about
in New York when there'd be these old dudes, these
really old frail men that were Brooklyn Dodger fans when
they were kids, and they had their Brooklyn Dodger stuff
and they'd stand outside the hotel. And I always thought
(06:10):
that was cool. But there'd be some, But it's nothing
like it is these days. It's like there's a whole
I forget the name of that group. There's a fan
group that's like a super fan group and they travel around.
They have plan trips on Dodger road, trips to overtake stadiums,
and yeah, it was. It was Nutso in Arizona we
have the mail bag. I want to do a little
pop goes the culture before we get to the mailback
(06:32):
is that, okay, can we do a little pop goest?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Do it? Pop? Pop? Pop?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Pop pop pop pop?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
John John.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
All right, very good, and Ohio ill coming through yet again,
and here we go. Let's here trust the science. Remember
a couple of years ago, Dan, it was trust the science. Well,
scientists have not discovered why a cold beer tastes so good.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh tell me more.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
This is the content that we need, clearly, according to
new scientists, team of researchers at the Chinese Academy of
Sciences decided to do a deep dive and they looked
into this. They decided to take a closer look at
the chemistry of beer.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
That's where I want my tax paying dollars ago.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It's not all bad there in China. We get cheap
stuff and they study beer. The results of their experiment
were recently published in Matter and revolve around the ethanol
water molecular clusters. These scientists were able to observe with
the help of the nuclear magnetic resonance imaging. It's a lot.
(07:53):
That's a lot of big words.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
No idea, what you just said.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, Essentially they looked into it and they.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Said, feel like you just asked me about the Chiefs draft.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, something like that. That everything changed the temperature at
approximately forty one degrees fahrenheit. They arranged a pyramid shape
structure that gave the beverage a more stimulating taste, like
more stimulating talk radio. By the time it increased to
seventy seven fahrenheit. They form longer chains that allow the
(08:27):
ethanol to take center stage and produce a relatively unpleasant
and a boozier flavor. So there's a sweet spot for
the beer at the forty one degrees fahrenheit. And it's
all about the science. It's all about the science there.
So thank you to our friends in China. The more
you know, the more you know. So that's how we uperate.
(08:49):
What else do we have on pop goes the culture? Well,
this is something that will affect all of us that
fly Southwest Airlines. There was a story this week that
Southwest Airlines it's considering getting rid of the most unique
thing about Southwest Airlines.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Oh I saw this.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, the open seating. They're they're saying they need to
make more money and so they have to have a
first class, a business class and all that and.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Such a bs and supposedly the two free bags, the
two free checked bags might be going away.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Oh really man, Yeah, the.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
President of their company didn't say anything about it, but
just because he left it out, the article said that
that's reason enough to worry about that.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, well you start playing around with that, and you know,
good luck.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
You'll have to way more money. Do not mess with
what makes you special. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
McDonald's adds new items, but they don't get rid of
They don't mess with the Big Mac.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah. Yeah, that sauce, the Big Max sauce will always
be there. Exhibit A. I don't mess with what's winning
the soup.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, well, d that's with the one that brought you,
isn't that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We're just going through cliche And if you don't know
the soup that's what replaced Ben Mallor for how many days?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, I was six months and twenty six days, not
that I counted. I did not count it, just six
months and twenty six days. Well, inflation is out of control.
There's a viral story. I don't know if this came
up on Covino and Rich. I didn't talk about it
on my show. Went viral. At a grocery store here
in Los Angeles, they were selling an eight pack of
ice spears for thirty two dollars. An eight pack of
(10:35):
ice spears.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
What?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, isn't that that wonderful? This pricey market. I've never
even heard of it.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
E R E W H O N.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
What is that? Have you been there? I'm Beverly don't know,
Beverly Boulevard, I've never heard of. Apparently it's a rich people,
rich person's place, and so somebody was in there and
they looked at the price. They're like, whoa, this is crazy.
Now you can get a twenty dollars for a gallon
of raw milk, twenty six dollars on a bottle of
(11:08):
hyperoxygenated water, which we used to call water back in
the day. But somebody on the internet, on the TikTok,
they ended up putting some of these items on there,
and the one that got the most attention was the
ice the ice spheres, which is thirty Again, this is
(11:31):
crazy to me, thirty two dollars for an eight pack.
It's like a round ice balls.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Pretty pretty good, don't man. Don't make me start about
how I filled my gas tank a few days back
at the quote unquote cheap gas station that I know
of in the LA area ninety eight dollars. And my
tank in my car is just the average sized gas
tank ninety eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Was it a Costco or was it somewhere?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
No, it was just like one of you know how
there's always that one gas station that's like a generic
color and it's like speedy gas or whatever. It's the
it's the one in your neighborhood everyone lines up at
because it's like twenty cents cheaper than all the name brands.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah sure, no, no, I guess, but even.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
That one, even that one ninety eight dollars at the
cheap gas station at Costco.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I think I filled up the other day and it
was like seventy five bucks. So I'm doing better than you,
I guess from the gas. Yeah, the gas department, KFC.
Big news here, but they've launched a barbecue scented perfume. Unfortunately,
it's sold out immediately, so imagine how many guys are
going to be so turned on. They're gonta get all
(12:44):
horny because their women have barbecue SCENTIFICI.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
They know what you're giving me in the staff for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I hope you enjoy that. Knock yourself out, have a
fine time. This sounds like somebody that might have listened
to our show at some point. A Yellow Own tourist
has been arrested after being injured by a bison that
he originally kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
The guy was drunk. He kicked a bison sounds like
a weed man hippie move. How many?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
How many things of boze do you have to have
where you think that's a good idea?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Airbnb revealed a uphouse where you can stay suspended in
the sky from a huge crane. Revealed that this week,
and there's a bunch of other movie inspired homes that
you can get on Airbnb.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So if you want to, oh cool, I want to
go into the Friday the Thirteenth House.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, you might not have to pay for it because
you'll be dead. What else do we have here? You
see page down. Some of these are on the fringes
David Busters. This got a lot of attention this week.
I don't think it came up on our show. David
Busters will now let you wager on arcade.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Games at ball say what now?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah? Yeah, they've decided that you need to gamble. They've
got two hundred and twenty locations, more than two hundred
twenty locations in the United States. This is like the
adult version of Chuck E Cheese if you will. But
big story this week, David Busters trying to embrace social wagering.
(14:23):
There's a new feature on its app that will allow
players to place bets concerning the outcome of various arcade
games that pit customer versus customer. The new features a
partnership with some company that they claim is a real
money it's real money contest of challenges, but it's just
(14:43):
gambling head to head wagering option. It's going to be
rolling out on the next couple of months at Dave
and Busters so on, like ski ball, pop a shot
where you compete against someone.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Okay, I was going to say, who are you wagering against?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Hair hockey? All right, So do you don't need an
app for that? Couldn't you just do that on your own?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You don't really need well, like, for instance, my chick
always tells me when we walk into that. We've only
gone a few times, but the last time we walked
in there, for example, she said, I'm gonna kick your
ass in air hockey, and I'm like, yeah, right, And
sure enough, she'll even score on herself by knocking the
puck into her own goal. So potentially we could walk
(15:26):
in and wager on who's gonna win the game?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, you on their app. They say they're going to
have that in the next couple moments. I mean, you
can do it anyway. You don't need the app, but
they want you to use the app.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Took her virginity, Now I'm gonna take her money.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Hey, well, the last bastion of non wokeness is now
going woke the video game world. Nintendo, there's a game.
This is the Japanese video game Mega Company There. They're
going to release a remake of a very popular twenty
Ozho four game, Paper Mario. But they're going to change
(16:01):
some of the verbiage in Paper Mario. They are removing
cat calling and fat shaming from the game. Apparently the game.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I didn't know any of that was in the game.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, twenty years ago was too sexist and fat phobic,
and so Nintendo's like, we can't do to say.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
A break if none of us even remember that being
in the game, how was it offensive?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Well, they're changing a few small politically correct changes throughout
the game The Villain.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
They're also going to go back and change old movies.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Too, Yeah, they they Well, I can't make any movies
the way they used to make.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Why I stopped there. Let's re record all the old
classic songs while we're at it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, oh you hear some of the old lyrics.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
It's like, whoa, whoa, she want to do the wow.
I remember peing in my mom when there was a
little kid with that song game on the radio. I
was so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, well, here's an example. Bowser teases one of the
Cooper underwings about being overweight. So that's fat shaming. They
have to, Bowser said in the game. In that case,
I order you to do some sit ups, Tubby. They've
taken taken that out of the game.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I don't remember that.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, twenty four games.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
We were so less offended back in the.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Day, yeah, he says. And then there was another line
in that case, I order you to do some sit
ups and don't stop until even your hammer has abs
it says. So there's a bunch of other stuff that
they tweaked in the game.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
But there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
They're changing video games. Let's get to the mail bag
portion of the pod, the mail bag portional. Are you
ready for the mail bag? Let's go mail bag.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's this.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Thank you very much, ohio Al, our buddy, ohio Al.
These are actual questions from actual listeners to the show.
Alf from the costco gas station rights in he says,
after a minute's long cost benefit analysis and some quick
back of the Napkin Malard math that I learned from
the Overnight Radio. I have determined that my alien opiner
(18:24):
budget does not afford interstate travel to the lavish Malar
meet and greet locations. I've deducted that it would take
two full tanks of gas in the alphamobile twenty four
gallons per tank times three dollars and twenty seven cents
current price at Costco. That's one hundred and fifty seven
dollars and thirty nine cents plus tolls, food, and lost
wages for two days. Some may think that is o piners.
(18:49):
The o Pinos are rolling in the dough with the
large contributor checks from Fox Sports Radio. But I assure
you Alf writes this is not the case. So it
is with a head heart that I must regretfully decline
your request for my presence at the aforementioned Mallor meet
and greet. Jesus, how long is this question that's still going?
As far as my question here we go? Do you
(19:11):
think that there is a more appropriate location in Springfield
for the twenty thirty nine Malor Meet and Greet than
the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame? I would think that
with all the free publicity that you've given them over
the years, they'd roll out the red carpet for the
Malard militia. And before you chastise me for pulling a Blair,
I am not asking you to hold the event on
(19:33):
my street in Waterville, Maine. I am actually thirty minutes
outside of Springfield, he says. Fun fact, he says, see
below here your first international mallor meat location in three countries.
And yeah, this is this is actually pretty cool. So
there's a I didn't know about. This is a place
(19:56):
in right here. It's where three countries in Europe try points, Slovakia, Austria,
and Hungary. They set up a table and you can
eat lunch together without crossing the border. So you can
have on one side of the table Slovakia. There's a
bench you can sit there, there's a table. The other
(20:16):
side of the table. It's a triangle. So the other
one of the other sides there's Austria and then the
other side is Hungary. That's cool, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Get that.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
That's a fun fact. That's an alf fun fact.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I just learned a whole bunch about Austria by watching
that Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I watched some of that. I didn't finish it. It
was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, I like it. I think I have one more episode.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Left an interesting life, Arnold schwartzene your Quinn writes in
on the mail bag. He says, I'm here checking in
and I have a funny story. I was from the
show back on April twenty second, so we're going back.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
A little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I hope you enjoyed. Oh he sent me a very
nice marine hat, and I thank you. I thank you
for that, Quinn. He's say, this story is crazy.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So I have been battling the flu with other respiratory
illnesses for almost two weeks. Quinn says, I am finally
coming out of it. I listened to the podcast, but lately,
as I have had a hard time sleeping, I've been
listening to the live show. And he says the other night,
I fell asleep listening and I was having a dream
and within the dream, the Ben Maller Show was on
(21:23):
and your trivia game, Quinn says. When this guy's dream day.
He says, I was listening to the callers pick teams
and then the game started as a big NFL fan.
One of the trivias were defensive players, and I was
rattling off the names in the dream from the trivia
Aaron Donald, Michael Strahan, Ronnie Lott, Kevin Green, Jack Youngblood,
Dwight Freeney, DeMarcus Ware. I realized when I woke up
(21:47):
that I got more answers right unconsciously in my dream
than you're awake caller, Well Quinn. Great thing about now,
maybe not that deep, but it was maybe that was
Mallard's amount of money, but I'll have to go back
and look. Yeah, it was probably my malus amount of
money that we had hollering James on, not mallards amount
(22:11):
of money, but it was too much or not enough.
Who won wall snoring? It's the single greatest game show
maman in the history of the show. He won based
on his snores and that was just an amazing, amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Bit of There's been some pretty amazing snoring moments on
the Ben Mallor Show.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, we lead talk rating snoring. Nobody else has that.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
There's like five to six different snoring clips in my archives.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We had back to back to back snores which.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
We have a snoring competition one night. Yeah, that off.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
We went back and forth. It was it was a cowboy,
and there was a guy in San Diego, the voice,
big voice guy. Forget his name. Barry writes, and he says,
Yo Yo, Ma, Benny and Danny g I understand that
you are on your way to South Carolina. I may
try to get up there to see you in person.
I'd love to meet your berry. I don't know how
(23:04):
much closer I'm gonna get to you used to live
in Nashville. Love to meet your berry. Come on down
hang out with us if you can make it. Be
coming this Friday again. If you've somehow not paid attention,
I don't know how you could have missed it. We
hoard ourselves out every chance we get. But Malard Meet
and Green, that is incorrect. It's a bad job by you.
(23:26):
We will be at a wonderful English pub in South
Carolina and Charleston, South Carolina called My Father's Mustache, and
you can hang out with us from three to five
this coming Friday, May tenth.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
It's not at Brooks and Tranny, and.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
That's in a different town and right there. Make sure
you go to the James Island location. Send me an
email too. If you're planning on attending, I'd like to
kind of have a rough idea of how many people
are going to go. I've gotten a few emails from
people that say they're planning on a tending. But if
you think you're gonna make it, you're pretty sure you're
gonna make it. Just send me an email Ben Malor
Show at gmail dot com, say hey, I'm thinking I'm
(24:01):
coming out there. So and so would love to love
to see you and Michan. This is different. I've never
done this in the South. I don't know if anyone's
going to show up. I have no idea. I don't
know how many people we have listened there. I know
we had a lot of calls and emails, but who
knows if they're actually going to show up. So my
father's mustache, Charleston, South Carolina, James Island location, come out,
(24:25):
Hopefully I will meet.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah. My cousin moved to that area like fifteen years ago.
He loves it. He loves it. Built a big he
built a well, he bought a house, a fixer upper,
and he spent the past decade fixing it up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
That's great. Yeah, my niece really likes it a lot.
She grew up as a little girl in New York
and she loves Charleston. She's so excited to show Uncle Benny.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah. Yeah, And he says the people are super nice
and his job's going good there. Man, it seems like
a really cool part of the country. I would love
to go visit that part of the country. Yeah, I'm
looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I'll be there most of this week and kind of
enjoy enjoy the sites and sounds, do a little sight seeing,
go to the beach a little bit. There's a few museums.
I love American history. There's some Civil War museums there.
I think the first battle of the Civil War, Fort Sumter,
was in South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah. So the only thing I wouldn't like is if
you had a home on the beach there, the way
it could get swooped up in a storm.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
They have some gnarly, gnarly storms that come in there
that knock the whole town out and flood everything. It's
part of the deal. We get the earthquakes. We had
one the other day and they got that blind. Scott says,
are you going to give five hundred dollars to your
knees for graduating college. You got to give like a thousand.
I think, wow, thank you blind Scott. I don't know,
I haven't thought about it. We'll cut a check, we'll
(25:46):
center some money, the world will zeller some money or whatever,
or cash app some money, I don't know, whatever. You
know what better money?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
You know? You should google when you have some extra time.
There's an episode of King of Queen and they find
a check that was given to them by a family
member that they didn't know about. It was hidden inside
like some stupid crock pot or something, and it was
a check for like five thousand dollars as a wedding gift,
but the check was old. They're like, is this check
(26:16):
even gonna cash? And so they they it's it's a
really funny episode. But that's what makes me think of
that is a big gift you might get for like
a wedding gift or a college graduation. You hope for
some big checks to be written.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, I'd like to get one of those oversized checks.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
But I'm not like like like happy Gilmore.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, just give him a big, big giant.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Remember he put all those in the trunk of his car,
the big oversized checks.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Why not you know what the hell next one? Dear
Ben and Danny G. This is Kyrie and ok see,
says Danny G. The Lakers suck bums, he says. Anyway,
the show love and respect.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Hey, they were in every game. They didn't get blown
out by thirty in any of those games.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Come done, they won one game, he says, I love
and respect like Strip Club John and Cleveland said on
the radio about his calves and my thunder small markets
need love to Big Ben. Anyway, y'all guys are awesome.
Has always much love from Kyrie in OK.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I do like that player on his team that has
three names. Oh, the former Clipper. You're a fan of
a former Clipper. Yeah, I actually I told you because
you were so nice to the Lakers in one of
your monologues a couple of weeks back, I've been sharing
on your Clippers. Little did I know your team was
going to vomit all over themselves.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
What is still wrong with the Clippers?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
You called them gutless? That's the word to use, gutless?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Well, here's the pros now.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I know what it's like to suffer as a Clippers fan.
Thanks Ben, Well, that was that was called tough love.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
It's emasculating, it's an alarming lack of detail on your performance,
and you just don't seem to really care. You're like, yeah,
I'll get them next time. And you know, the lack
of perseverance, the fire in the belly. That's so many
And listen, there's guys in the Lakers that have this.
(28:15):
There's a lot of guys in the Clippers that have
these lethargic tendencies. It just drives me, not now you're
not going to make every shot, but to not play hard.
And I've seen that.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I'm with you on the lazy passes, not getting back
on defense, walking up and down the court.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
So don't got me started on that. But anyway, let's
say thank you Kyrie. Nick and Wisconsin says, Hey, guys,
what is the worst injury that you have had and
how did it happen? I would say the most painful
injury I had was my gallbladder, and that was eating
a lot of fried foods for about forty years of
my life and then my gallbladder decided to check out,
(28:57):
and that hurt a lot. I've broken some fingers and
things like that, but other than that, that's the worst.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
What about you, Danny, huh injury. I haven't broken any bones.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Ben, Okay, you just jinks yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Hang on a second, hang on.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Knocking there.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Yeah, yeah, No, I didn't break anything. But I guess
this is self inflicted. When I was producing one of
the producers on your show and some night's the only producer,
I was not drinking any water because during the commercials,
as you know, the tech producer stays in his seat
(29:38):
or he's supposed to to make sure that the commercials
and everything are running smoothly, and you have to count
them and make sure that promos play the right way
and all this stuff behind the scenes. Right, So everyone's like, well,
you could go to the bathroom during commercials. No, you can't,
not in that job. So I purposely didn't drink water.
I'm like, well that's the way to go here. I
(29:59):
won't drink water, and then, you know, simple math, I
won't have to go to the bathroom. What did I do?
I wound up giving myself a huge kidney issue. You remember,
it's how I ended my tenure with your show. I
was in the hospital. Oh yeah, I do. Yeah, that
sucked big time. I had to have a laser surgery.
(30:19):
This thing went on for months. Yeah, that was really bad.
Not an injury, but the worst surgery I ever had
to have.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, that sucks. Thank you for that, Nick, Kevin and
Kansas is Ben and Danny Ge. Now that you're settled
in your newest mansion, could you give an update on
the found laundry cart? Yeah, Kevin, we don't really use
the laundry cart. So if you want it, if you'll
pay for the shipping, we can send.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
It to you.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
It's sitting in the garage and it's collecting dust because
we have a upstairs downstairs set up, and the laundry
cart not really designed to go upstairs because it's got
the wheels and stuff like that, so we don't.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Really use it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Danny G. Have you had any great fines like Maler's
laundry cart? Kevin asked, have you found anything? Have you
done dumpster diving Danny to find anything on the side
of the road like I did.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
No. I am guilty of saving an item that was
put out in front of our place to go to
the garbage. It was. Have you seen those plastic drawers
that they're stacked on top of each other.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Sure, Yeah, some people use them to file desk crap
and stuff like that. Some people use them in their
closet for socks and underwear. Well, our middle kid, he
cleaned his room. You know what that meant? Ben He
had a girl coming over. That's the only time he
cleans his room. And while he was cleaning, he, I guess,
(31:47):
took that out of his closet and just dumped it
in front to go to the dumpster. I looked at it.
The first thing I thought was, like a technician, I
could put microphone cables in that. I could put cords, yeah,
charge cables and cords in there. And so I have
it in the garage right now. And I looked at
it a couple of days later and I'm like, what
the hell am I doing salvaging garbage.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Well, that's one way to look at it. But when
we when we are going around my wife you and askers,
she'll tell you, like if it's trash day. And I
see like a like a lazy boy chair, I said,
oh man, we should we should get that. I can
sell that offer up, get like fifty bucks for that.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
You know, I can refurbished that.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah, yeah, And look at that sofa. I could put
that in my studio and I could like sleep on it.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
And I blame our parents for this because they were
pack rats. Yeah, and our grandparents especially, Oh my god,
I'm gonna save everything I spent a penny on.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But as you get older, you collect more stuff as
you go through life. So even the people that have
like eight items, by the time they get older, they'll
have fifteen items. Sixteen items A couple of quick ones.
Ozzie Waz from Western Australia says, Hey, Ben and Danny G.
I sent out a tweet to you last week. You
read it out about not doing shout outs for my
(33:01):
birthday and the daughters. The next day, I replayed it
from the podcast from my daughter and the look on
her face was priceless, especially when I told her that
it was being broadcast on five hundred plus radio stations
across the US. She had a smile.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Ear to ear, Hey, that's six hundred.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah, we're up to six hundred now as he was
bad job by you, but yeah, well, thank you. I'm
happy to make your daughter's death. That makes me happy,
you know, and tell her again we will not do
another shout out for your daughter. I don't care how
cute she is and how sweet she is. We will
not do a shout out for your daughter. A mic
is overrun by trees and Fullerton. He says, Hey, Benon Danny,
(33:39):
I like you guys. I'd like you guys to sell.
In an argument I overheard in the baseball play where
a runner is stranded between two bases, do you call
it a pickle or a rundown? World series p orl
Herscheiser likes pickle, but equally accomplished. Tim Cats was pretty
adamant that adults should say rundown. Whose side are are
(34:00):
you on on this controversial issue? That's from Mike and Fullerton.
So I've heard both. When I was a kid, I
heard pickle, but I've heard run down a lot. I'm
gonna go with the bulldog Oi horshaze pickle.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I feel like one is the glass half full and
one is glass half empty. Rundown sounds like you're going
to be out automatically. Pickle sounds like, yeah, this is
a pickle. It could go either way.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Plus I have to pick pickle. Alf the alien opiner
will be offended if I don't pick the pickle.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Now, pick pickles are kind of just gross I mean
for a guy and a hamburger. Great, And I'm not
being sexist her or anything, but there's an old wives
tale about not letting your wifey or girlfriend eat too
many pickles. I won't get into details.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Well what happened Dan if they too many?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
H How could I say this kindly?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
What are you gonna say? How will you phrase it?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Ah? Shoot, be politically corked this that the pickle, the
pickles aura might come out of her, the pickles aura
might come out of her body in some way.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Oh is that right?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Okay, yeah, okay, that's one way to a little that's
like a dirty dash of pickle. Uh. Anyway, we'll get
out on Thanks to everyone else who sent that mail.
Thanks to Chris, what a way to end the weekend.
Marri Cocada, Iowa. And Ronnie from Zero. We didn't get
(35:39):
to his mail his letter JJ from the Motown. All
you other guys that sent messages in try again next week.
We've got the schedule. It's gonna be crazy schedule. I
will I'll be on tonight, Danny, and then I am
getting on the big bird and flying sometime on Monday
to the East coast. And then spending a couple of
(36:01):
days with family. Malard meet and greet on Friday.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
How many days of Bernie Fratto do we get to
look forward to.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I don't know who's filling in for me, but I'll
be away from my post for about a week and
then I'll be back early next week. My niece is
graduating from college, so I'm excited for her to see
some family. Yeah, and my in laws and all that.
But I will be back soon. But again, i'd love
to meet you this Thursday. Hopefully you can come out
hang out with us, be part of the fun, and
(36:27):
we can tell stories that I can't tell on the
podcast of the radio. You can ask me anything you
want about Eddie Garcia, you know, picking his nose or
Kooper Loop staring at the vending machine for twenty five minutes,
or any of those kind of guys.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Order Loraina, not washing or pinky Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I mean that's all fair game. It's all fair game.
And again check us out. We'll be at the English Pub,
my favorite English plub in Charleston, South Gelina.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Sounds like a fun time. My wife's sideburn, no.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
No, no, no, it's my father's mustache. May tenth This Friday,
three o clock till five o'clock, James Island location. Come
on out, say hello. I'll be hanging out eating some
pretzels or whatever, hanging out, having a good time. But
have a wonderful week. I'll be on tonight, Danny, what
are you got going on?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah, it's Sunday. You know I'm gonna be back for
a fun Monday. I was gonna say Monday morning. That's
when I start mind Shift Monday afternoon with Covino and
Rich two to five. It's an extra hour.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's been a long day to an extra hour day. Yeah,
that's good.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Two to four on the West Side, and that is
five to seven pm in beautiful. I don't know you
picked the East coast city this time.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Let's go with East Coast city Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Nice, beautiful Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I have a wonderful day.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Later, skater got a murder. I gotta go.
Kabooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's the clearinghouse of hot takes. Break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the air Eyway. The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler
and Danny g Radio a special holiday edition of The
Fifth Hour as we celebrate Sinkle de Mio. It's all
about Margarita's salsa chips. It's a fiesta. It's an audio fiesta.
(00:53):
Ya ya, give me my tacos dorado right now.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Man, you like those gringo crunchy talk I do? I do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I love my my friend Alex, my Mexican friend Alex,
who died years ago. He used to always call me
the gringo taco guy. It's true, I love them. I
love them. Their crunchy taco is so damn good.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Remember when your boy Trump pissed off the whole country,
or some of the country, the complainers when he said
happy seek go to my ownd. It was a picture
of him with a tostata.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Well, there's certain people can't take a joke.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I love Mexico.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I love the Mexican people.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Two waiters came up to me tonight, mister Trump, we
love you, but but you looked like Taco bell.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
It was awesome.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Now, as you mentioned, there are people, Danny, I think
you said this on yesterday's podcast. There's people. There's a
lot of people ever either think this is Mexican Independence Day.
It is not Mexican Independence Day.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
No, it is not. This is to celebrate the big
victory over the very large French army with a very
small Mexican army at the time.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah. So it was when the An upset. People love
upsets in war. In sports, people love upsets. They love
David versus Go wins.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
This was like the Falcons blowing out the pitch. Wait
a second, didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's like when the Devil Rays won the World Series.
They didn't. They didn't actually didn't actually do that. And
it's great because the French military they have a wonderful
reputation right the the act of a French soldier surrendering,
it's just acquiescing however you want to say it. There
so happy Sinco de Mile.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Yeah. On Friday's Coveno and Rich Show, Me and Coveno
Rich was away in New York, Covino and I we
pulled a Petros and money and we were doing shots
of tequila in the air.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh, that's like Scott Farrell, man, Rack them up, Rack
them Still the craziest podcast we've done. On the fifth hour.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Oh, he was snorting cocaine with stacks of cash on
a hotel bed while naked on the phone with you.
That's the craziest interview I've ever booked in my whole career.
And I booked in India in India's most famous tiger hunter.
(03:21):
And the list goes on. But Farrell doing cocaine on
a stack of money on a bed talking to Ben
Mallard takes the cake.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm still impressed that you were able to get a
sitting president on the radio. That is an outstanding, absolutely outstanding.
It's also naty.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Are you more impressed that it was I got him?
Or the beekeeper from Arizona the other day?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh? The beekeepers that's cool too, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, he was a he was a cool guy too.
He seemed very down to earth and a nice guy,
even though he's a d Bags fan.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I didn't see that. I didn't hear the story. What
was the story like?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Did they?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Was he at home when they call?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So he was at his son's t ball game with
his family, and the stadium folks there at Chase called him.
They have his pet control pest control company on speed dial,
and they're like, dude, we need you over here now.
And so he sped over to the stadium and he
had to use a scissor lift he wasn't familiar with
to get up to the swarm of bees, and he was.
(04:20):
He said, he was shaken up there. He was really
nervous because of all the things that could go wrong.
He was scared the bees were going to swarm out
and sting people in the stands. So he comes down
from the scissor lift, he gets a standing ovation and
then the Diamondbacks asked him, would you throw out the
ceremonial first pitch, And that's what he did, and he
threw a decent pitch, better than some celebrities have thrown.
(04:43):
And they called him the hero, the hero of the
week in Major League baseball.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, he hays own card baseball Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Tops, Yeah, Tops called him on Wednesday morning and said, hey,
we're gonna offer you your own baseball card. And he's like,
let's do it. So that that was cool. And also
he mentioned on the Covino and Rich Show that the
Diamondbacks have reached back out to him and they're gonna
roll out the red carpet, roll out the red carpet
(05:13):
for his family and they get to like get the
whole you know, royal treatment.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh great. Yeah, Well, when you never know what opportunity
is gonna knock, you better answer the door. You better
answer the door. I'm sure his kid's not too upset
that he had to leave the t ball game because
now he'll get the VIP toward the Diamondback game. Help set.
Were the Diamondbacks this week? It was like Dodgers Stadium
in Arizona. Did you see that?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Yeah? And it's funny because the whole story with the
Knicks and the Sixers and the Sixers front office buying
thousands of seats because they didn't want to be infiltrated
by Knicks fans.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, it's it's wild. I mean, I I traveled briefly
years ago with the Dodgers, but it was never like that,
like there would be Dodger fans everywhere the team went.
There'd be a few. I was telling the story about
in New York when there'd be these old dudes, these
really old frail men that were Brooklyn Dodger fans when
they were kids, and they had their Brooklyn Dodger stuff
and they'd stand outside the hotel. And I always thought
(06:10):
that was cool. But there'd be some, But it's nothing
like it is these days. It's like there's a whole
I forget the name of that group. There's a fan
group that's like a super fan group and they travel around.
They have plan trips on Dodger road, trips to overtake stadiums,
and yeah, it was. It was Nutso in Arizona we
have the mail bag. I want to do a little
pop goes the culture before we get to the mailback
(06:32):
is that, okay, can we do a little pop goest?
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Do it? Pop? Pop? Pop?
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Pop pop pop pop?
Speaker 3 (06:41):
John John.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
All right, very good, and Ohio ill coming through yet again,
and here we go. Let's here trust the science. Remember
a couple of years ago, Dan, it was trust the science. Well,
scientists have not discovered why a cold beer tastes so good.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Oh tell me more.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
This is the content that we need, clearly, according to
new scientists, team of researchers at the Chinese Academy of
Sciences decided to do a deep dive and they looked
into this. They decided to take a closer look at
the chemistry of beer.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
That's where I want my tax paying dollars ago.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
It's not all bad there in China. We get cheap
stuff and they study beer. The results of their experiment
were recently published in Matter and revolve around the ethanol
water molecular clusters. These scientists were able to observe with
the help of the nuclear magnetic resonance imaging. It's a lot.
(07:53):
That's a lot of big words.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
No idea, what you just said.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, Essentially they looked into it and they.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Said, feel like you just asked me about the Chiefs draft.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, something like that. That everything changed the temperature at
approximately forty one degrees fahrenheit. They arranged a pyramid shape
structure that gave the beverage a more stimulating taste, like
more stimulating talk radio. By the time it increased to
seventy seven fahrenheit. They form longer chains that allow the
(08:27):
ethanol to take center stage and produce a relatively unpleasant
and a boozier flavor. So there's a sweet spot for
the beer at the forty one degrees fahrenheit. And it's
all about the science. It's all about the science there.
So thank you to our friends in China. The more
you know, the more you know. So that's how we uperate.
(08:49):
What else do we have on pop goes the culture? Well,
this is something that will affect all of us that
fly Southwest Airlines. There was a story this week that
Southwest Airlines it's considering getting rid of the most unique
thing about Southwest Airlines.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Oh I saw this.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, the open seating. They're they're saying they need to
make more money and so they have to have a
first class, a business class and all that and.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
Such a bs and supposedly the two free bags, the
two free checked bags might be going away.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Oh really man, Yeah, the.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
President of their company didn't say anything about it, but
just because he left it out, the article said that
that's reason enough to worry about that.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, well you start playing around with that, and you know,
good luck.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
You'll have to way more money. Do not mess with
what makes you special. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
McDonald's adds new items, but they don't get rid of
They don't mess with the Big Mac.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
Yeah. Yeah, that sauce, the Big Max sauce will always
be there. Exhibit A. I don't mess with what's winning
the soup.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, yeah, well, d that's with the one that brought you,
isn't that.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
We're just going through cliche And if you don't know
the soup that's what replaced Ben Mallor for how many days?
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, I was six months and twenty six days, not
that I counted. I did not count it, just six
months and twenty six days. Well, inflation is out of control.
There's a viral story. I don't know if this came
up on Covino and Rich. I didn't talk about it
on my show. Went viral. At a grocery store here
in Los Angeles, they were selling an eight pack of
ice spears for thirty two dollars. An eight pack of
(10:35):
ice spears.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
What?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, isn't that that wonderful? This pricey market. I've never
even heard of it.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
E R E W H O N.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
What is that? Have you been there? I'm Beverly don't know,
Beverly Boulevard, I've never heard of. Apparently it's a rich people,
rich person's place, and so somebody was in there and
they looked at the price. They're like, whoa, this is crazy.
Now you can get a twenty dollars for a gallon
of raw milk, twenty six dollars on a bottle of
(11:08):
hyperoxygenated water, which we used to call water back in
the day. But somebody on the internet, on the TikTok,
they ended up putting some of these items on there,
and the one that got the most attention was the
ice the ice spheres, which is thirty Again, this is
(11:31):
crazy to me, thirty two dollars for an eight pack.
It's like a round ice balls.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Pretty pretty good, don't man. Don't make me start about
how I filled my gas tank a few days back
at the quote unquote cheap gas station that I know
of in the LA area ninety eight dollars. And my
tank in my car is just the average sized gas
tank ninety eight dollars.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Was it a Costco or was it somewhere?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
No, it was just like one of you know how
there's always that one gas station that's like a generic
color and it's like speedy gas or whatever. It's the
it's the one in your neighborhood everyone lines up at
because it's like twenty cents cheaper than all the name brands.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah sure, no, no, I guess, but even.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
That one, even that one ninety eight dollars at the
cheap gas station at Costco.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I think I filled up the other day and it
was like seventy five bucks. So I'm doing better than you,
I guess from the gas. Yeah, the gas department, KFC.
Big news here, but they've launched a barbecue scented perfume. Unfortunately,
it's sold out immediately, so imagine how many guys are
going to be so turned on. They're gonta get all
(12:44):
horny because their women have barbecue SCENTIFICI.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
They know what you're giving me in the staff for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
I hope you enjoy that. Knock yourself out, have a
fine time. This sounds like somebody that might have listened
to our show at some point. A Yellow Own tourist
has been arrested after being injured by a bison that
he originally kicked.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
The guy was drunk. He kicked a bison sounds like
a weed man hippie move. How many?
Speaker 1 (13:14):
How many things of boze do you have to have
where you think that's a good idea?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Airbnb revealed a uphouse where you can stay suspended in
the sky from a huge crane. Revealed that this week,
and there's a bunch of other movie inspired homes that
you can get on Airbnb.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So if you want to, oh cool, I want to
go into the Friday the Thirteenth House.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, you might not have to pay for it because
you'll be dead. What else do we have here? You
see page down. Some of these are on the fringes
David Busters. This got a lot of attention this week.
I don't think it came up on our show. David
Busters will now let you wager on arcade.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Games at ball say what now?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah? Yeah, they've decided that you need to gamble. They've
got two hundred and twenty locations, more than two hundred
twenty locations in the United States. This is like the
adult version of Chuck E Cheese if you will. But
big story this week, David Busters trying to embrace social wagering.
(14:23):
There's a new feature on its app that will allow
players to place bets concerning the outcome of various arcade
games that pit customer versus customer. The new features a
partnership with some company that they claim is a real
money it's real money contest of challenges, but it's just
(14:43):
gambling head to head wagering option. It's going to be
rolling out on the next couple of months at Dave
and Busters so on, like ski ball, pop a shot
where you compete against someone.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Okay, I was going to say, who are you wagering against?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Hair hockey? All right, So do you don't need an
app for that? Couldn't you just do that on your own?
Speaker 3 (15:04):
You don't really need well, like, for instance, my chick
always tells me when we walk into that. We've only
gone a few times, but the last time we walked
in there, for example, she said, I'm gonna kick your
ass in air hockey, and I'm like, yeah, right, And
sure enough, she'll even score on herself by knocking the
puck into her own goal. So potentially we could walk
(15:26):
in and wager on who's gonna win the game?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, you on their app. They say they're going to
have that in the next couple moments. I mean, you
can do it anyway. You don't need the app, but
they want you to use the app.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Took her virginity, Now I'm gonna take her money.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Hey, well, the last bastion of non wokeness is now
going woke the video game world. Nintendo, there's a game.
This is the Japanese video game Mega Company There. They're
going to release a remake of a very popular twenty
Ozho four game, Paper Mario. But they're going to change
(16:01):
some of the verbiage in Paper Mario. They are removing
cat calling and fat shaming from the game. Apparently the game.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I didn't know any of that was in the game.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, twenty years ago was too sexist and fat phobic,
and so Nintendo's like, we can't do to say.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
A break if none of us even remember that being
in the game, how was it offensive?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Well, they're changing a few small politically correct changes throughout
the game The Villain.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
They're also going to go back and change old movies.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Too, Yeah, they they Well, I can't make any movies
the way they used to make.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Why I stopped there. Let's re record all the old
classic songs while we're at it.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Yeah, oh you hear some of the old lyrics.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
It's like, whoa, whoa, she want to do the wow.
I remember peing in my mom when there was a
little kid with that song game on the radio. I
was so embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yeah, well, here's an example. Bowser teases one of the
Cooper underwings about being overweight. So that's fat shaming. They
have to, Bowser said in the game. In that case,
I order you to do some sit ups, Tubby. They've
taken taken that out of the game.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I don't remember that.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Yeah, twenty four games.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
We were so less offended back in the.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Day, yeah, he says. And then there was another line
in that case, I order you to do some sit
ups and don't stop until even your hammer has abs
it says. So there's a bunch of other stuff that
they tweaked in the game.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
But there you go.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
They're changing video games. Let's get to the mail bag
portion of the pod, the mail bag portional. Are you
ready for the mail bag? Let's go mail bag.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's this.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Thank you very much, ohio Al, our buddy, ohio Al.
These are actual questions from actual listeners to the show.
Alf from the costco gas station rights in he says,
after a minute's long cost benefit analysis and some quick
back of the Napkin Malard math that I learned from
the Overnight Radio. I have determined that my alien opiner
(18:24):
budget does not afford interstate travel to the lavish Malar
meet and greet locations. I've deducted that it would take
two full tanks of gas in the alphamobile twenty four
gallons per tank times three dollars and twenty seven cents
current price at Costco. That's one hundred and fifty seven
dollars and thirty nine cents plus tolls, food, and lost
wages for two days. Some may think that is o piners.
(18:49):
The o Pinos are rolling in the dough with the
large contributor checks from Fox Sports Radio. But I assure
you Alf writes this is not the case. So it
is with a head heart that I must regretfully decline
your request for my presence at the aforementioned Mallor meet
and greet. Jesus, how long is this question that's still going?
As far as my question here we go? Do you
(19:11):
think that there is a more appropriate location in Springfield
for the twenty thirty nine Malor Meet and Greet than
the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame? I would think that
with all the free publicity that you've given them over
the years, they'd roll out the red carpet for the
Malard militia. And before you chastise me for pulling a Blair,
I am not asking you to hold the event on
(19:33):
my street in Waterville, Maine. I am actually thirty minutes
outside of Springfield, he says. Fun fact, he says, see
below here your first international mallor meat location in three countries.
And yeah, this is this is actually pretty cool. So
there's a I didn't know about. This is a place
(19:56):
in right here. It's where three countries in Europe try points, Slovakia, Austria,
and Hungary. They set up a table and you can
eat lunch together without crossing the border. So you can
have on one side of the table Slovakia. There's a
bench you can sit there, there's a table. The other
(20:16):
side of the table. It's a triangle. So the other
one of the other sides there's Austria and then the
other side is Hungary. That's cool, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Get that.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
That's a fun fact. That's an alf fun fact.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
I just learned a whole bunch about Austria by watching
that Arnold Schwarzenegger documentary on Netflix.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I watched some of that. I didn't finish it. It
was pretty good.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yeah, I like it. I think I have one more episode.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Left an interesting life, Arnold schwartzene your Quinn writes in
on the mail bag. He says, I'm here checking in
and I have a funny story. I was from the
show back on April twenty second, so we're going back.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
A little bit.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
I hope you enjoyed. Oh he sent me a very
nice marine hat, and I thank you. I thank you
for that, Quinn. He's say, this story is crazy.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
So I have been battling the flu with other respiratory
illnesses for almost two weeks. Quinn says, I am finally
coming out of it. I listened to the podcast, but lately,
as I have had a hard time sleeping, I've been
listening to the live show. And he says the other night,
I fell asleep listening and I was having a dream
and within the dream, the Ben Maller Show was on
(21:23):
and your trivia game, Quinn says. When this guy's dream day.
He says, I was listening to the callers pick teams
and then the game started as a big NFL fan.
One of the trivias were defensive players, and I was
rattling off the names in the dream from the trivia
Aaron Donald, Michael Strahan, Ronnie Lott, Kevin Green, Jack Youngblood,
Dwight Freeney, DeMarcus Ware. I realized when I woke up
(21:47):
that I got more answers right unconsciously in my dream
than you're awake caller, Well Quinn. Great thing about now,
maybe not that deep, but it was maybe that was
Mallard's amount of money, but I'll have to go back
and look. Yeah, it was probably my malus amount of
money that we had hollering James on, not mallards amount
(22:11):
of money, but it was too much or not enough.
Who won wall snoring? It's the single greatest game show
maman in the history of the show. He won based
on his snores and that was just an amazing, amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Bit of There's been some pretty amazing snoring moments on
the Ben Mallor Show.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Yeah, we lead talk rating snoring. Nobody else has that.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
There's like five to six different snoring clips in my archives.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We had back to back to back snores which.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
We have a snoring competition one night. Yeah, that off.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
We went back and forth. It was it was a cowboy,
and there was a guy in San Diego, the voice,
big voice guy. Forget his name. Barry writes, and he says,
Yo Yo, Ma, Benny and Danny g I understand that
you are on your way to South Carolina. I may
try to get up there to see you in person.
I'd love to meet your berry. I don't know how
(23:04):
much closer I'm gonna get to you used to live
in Nashville. Love to meet your berry. Come on down
hang out with us if you can make it. Be
coming this Friday again. If you've somehow not paid attention,
I don't know how you could have missed it. We
hoard ourselves out every chance we get. But Malard Meet
and Green, that is incorrect. It's a bad job by you.
(23:26):
We will be at a wonderful English pub in South
Carolina and Charleston, South Carolina called My Father's Mustache, and
you can hang out with us from three to five
this coming Friday, May tenth.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
It's not at Brooks and Tranny, and.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
That's in a different town and right there. Make sure
you go to the James Island location. Send me an
email too. If you're planning on attending, I'd like to
kind of have a rough idea of how many people
are going to go. I've gotten a few emails from
people that say they're planning on a tending. But if
you think you're gonna make it, you're pretty sure you're
gonna make it. Just send me an email Ben Malor
Show at gmail dot com, say hey, I'm thinking I'm
(24:01):
coming out there. So and so would love to love
to see you and Michan. This is different. I've never
done this in the South. I don't know if anyone's
going to show up. I have no idea. I don't
know how many people we have listened there. I know
we had a lot of calls and emails, but who
knows if they're actually going to show up. So my
father's mustache, Charleston, South Carolina, James Island location, come out,
(24:25):
Hopefully I will meet.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah. My cousin moved to that area like fifteen years ago.
He loves it. He loves it. Built a big he
built a well, he bought a house, a fixer upper,
and he spent the past decade fixing it up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
That's great. Yeah, my niece really likes it a lot.
She grew up as a little girl in New York
and she loves Charleston. She's so excited to show Uncle Benny.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
Yeah. Yeah, And he says the people are super nice
and his job's going good there. Man, it seems like
a really cool part of the country. I would love
to go visit that part of the country. Yeah, I'm
looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I'll be there most of this week and kind of
enjoy enjoy the sites and sounds, do a little sight seeing,
go to the beach a little bit. There's a few museums.
I love American history. There's some Civil War museums there.
I think the first battle of the Civil War, Fort Sumter,
was in South Carolina.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Yeah. So the only thing I wouldn't like is if
you had a home on the beach there, the way
it could get swooped up in a storm.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
They have some gnarly, gnarly storms that come in there
that knock the whole town out and flood everything. It's
part of the deal. We get the earthquakes. We had
one the other day and they got that blind. Scott says,
are you going to give five hundred dollars to your
knees for graduating college. You got to give like a thousand.
I think, wow, thank you blind Scott. I don't know,
I haven't thought about it. We'll cut a check, we'll
(25:46):
center some money, the world will zeller some money or whatever,
or cash app some money, I don't know, whatever. You
know what better money?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
You know? You should google when you have some extra time.
There's an episode of King of Queen and they find
a check that was given to them by a family
member that they didn't know about. It was hidden inside
like some stupid crock pot or something, and it was
a check for like five thousand dollars as a wedding gift,
but the check was old. They're like, is this check
(26:16):
even gonna cash? And so they they it's it's a
really funny episode. But that's what makes me think of
that is a big gift you might get for like
a wedding gift or a college graduation. You hope for
some big checks to be written.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, I'd like to get one of those oversized checks.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
But I'm not like like like happy Gilmore.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, just give him a big, big giant.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
Remember he put all those in the trunk of his car,
the big oversized checks.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Why not you know what the hell next one? Dear
Ben and Danny G. This is Kyrie and ok see,
says Danny G. The Lakers suck bums, he says. Anyway,
the show love and respect.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Hey, they were in every game. They didn't get blown
out by thirty in any of those games.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Come done, they won one game, he says, I love
and respect like Strip Club John and Cleveland said on
the radio about his calves and my thunder small markets
need love to Big Ben. Anyway, y'all guys are awesome.
Has always much love from Kyrie in OK.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I do like that player on his team that has
three names. Oh, the former Clipper. You're a fan of
a former Clipper. Yeah, I actually I told you because
you were so nice to the Lakers in one of
your monologues a couple of weeks back, I've been sharing
on your Clippers. Little did I know your team was
going to vomit all over themselves.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
What is still wrong with the Clippers?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
You called them gutless? That's the word to use, gutless?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Well, here's the pros now.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
I know what it's like to suffer as a Clippers fan.
Thanks Ben, Well, that was that was called tough love.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
It's emasculating, it's an alarming lack of detail on your performance,
and you just don't seem to really care. You're like, yeah,
I'll get them next time. And you know, the lack
of perseverance, the fire in the belly. That's so many
And listen, there's guys in the Lakers that have this.
(28:15):
There's a lot of guys in the Clippers that have
these lethargic tendencies. It just drives me, not now you're
not going to make every shot, but to not play hard.
And I've seen that.
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I'm with you on the lazy passes, not getting back
on defense, walking up and down the court.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
So don't got me started on that. But anyway, let's
say thank you Kyrie. Nick and Wisconsin says, Hey, guys,
what is the worst injury that you have had and
how did it happen? I would say the most painful
injury I had was my gallbladder, and that was eating
a lot of fried foods for about forty years of
my life and then my gallbladder decided to check out,
(28:57):
and that hurt a lot. I've broken some fingers and
things like that, but other than that, that's the worst.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
What about you, Danny, huh injury. I haven't broken any bones.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Ben, Okay, you just jinks yourself.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Hang on a second, hang on.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Knocking there.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Yeah, yeah, No, I didn't break anything. But I guess
this is self inflicted. When I was producing one of
the producers on your show and some night's the only producer,
I was not drinking any water because during the commercials,
as you know, the tech producer stays in his seat
(29:38):
or he's supposed to to make sure that the commercials
and everything are running smoothly, and you have to count
them and make sure that promos play the right way
and all this stuff behind the scenes. Right, So everyone's like, well,
you could go to the bathroom during commercials. No, you can't,
not in that job. So I purposely didn't drink water.
I'm like, well that's the way to go here. I
(29:59):
won't drink water, and then, you know, simple math, I
won't have to go to the bathroom. What did I do?
I wound up giving myself a huge kidney issue. You remember,
it's how I ended my tenure with your show. I
was in the hospital. Oh yeah, I do. Yeah, that
sucked big time. I had to have a laser surgery.
(30:19):
This thing went on for months. Yeah, that was really bad.
Not an injury, but the worst surgery I ever had
to have.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, that sucks. Thank you for that, Nick, Kevin and
Kansas is Ben and Danny Ge. Now that you're settled
in your newest mansion, could you give an update on
the found laundry cart? Yeah, Kevin, we don't really use
the laundry cart. So if you want it, if you'll
pay for the shipping, we can send.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
It to you.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
It's sitting in the garage and it's collecting dust because
we have a upstairs downstairs set up, and the laundry
cart not really designed to go upstairs because it's got
the wheels and stuff like that, so we don't.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Really use it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Danny G. Have you had any great fines like Maler's
laundry cart? Kevin asked, have you found anything? Have you
done dumpster diving Danny to find anything on the side
of the road like I did.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
No. I am guilty of saving an item that was
put out in front of our place to go to
the garbage. It was. Have you seen those plastic drawers
that they're stacked on top of each other.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:26):
Sure, Yeah, some people use them to file desk crap
and stuff like that. Some people use them in their
closet for socks and underwear. Well, our middle kid, he
cleaned his room. You know what that meant? Ben He
had a girl coming over. That's the only time he
cleans his room. And while he was cleaning, he, I guess,
(31:47):
took that out of his closet and just dumped it
in front to go to the dumpster. I looked at it.
The first thing I thought was, like a technician, I
could put microphone cables in that. I could put cords, yeah,
charge cables and cords in there. And so I have
it in the garage right now. And I looked at
it a couple of days later and I'm like, what
the hell am I doing salvaging garbage.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Well, that's one way to look at it. But when
we when we are going around my wife you and askers,
she'll tell you, like if it's trash day. And I
see like a like a lazy boy chair, I said,
oh man, we should we should get that. I can
sell that offer up, get like fifty bucks for that.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
You know, I can refurbished that.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah, yeah, And look at that sofa. I could put
that in my studio and I could like sleep on it.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
And I blame our parents for this because they were
pack rats. Yeah, and our grandparents especially, Oh my god,
I'm gonna save everything I spent a penny on.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
But as you get older, you collect more stuff as
you go through life. So even the people that have
like eight items, by the time they get older, they'll
have fifteen items. Sixteen items A couple of quick ones.
Ozzie Waz from Western Australia says, Hey, Ben and Danny G.
I sent out a tweet to you last week. You
read it out about not doing shout outs for my
(33:01):
birthday and the daughters. The next day, I replayed it
from the podcast from my daughter and the look on
her face was priceless, especially when I told her that
it was being broadcast on five hundred plus radio stations
across the US. She had a smile.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
Ear to ear, Hey, that's six hundred.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah, we're up to six hundred now as he was
bad job by you, but yeah, well, thank you. I'm
happy to make your daughter's death. That makes me happy,
you know, and tell her again we will not do
another shout out for your daughter. I don't care how
cute she is and how sweet she is. We will
not do a shout out for your daughter. A mic
is overrun by trees and Fullerton. He says, Hey, Benon Danny,
(33:39):
I like you guys. I'd like you guys to sell.
In an argument I overheard in the baseball play where
a runner is stranded between two bases, do you call
it a pickle or a rundown? World series p orl
Herscheiser likes pickle, but equally accomplished. Tim Cats was pretty
adamant that adults should say rundown. Whose side are are
(34:00):
you on on this controversial issue? That's from Mike and Fullerton.
So I've heard both. When I was a kid, I
heard pickle, but I've heard run down a lot. I'm
gonna go with the bulldog Oi horshaze pickle.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I feel like one is the glass half full and
one is glass half empty. Rundown sounds like you're going
to be out automatically. Pickle sounds like, yeah, this is
a pickle. It could go either way.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Plus I have to pick pickle. Alf the alien opiner
will be offended if I don't pick the pickle.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Now, pick pickles are kind of just gross I mean
for a guy and a hamburger. Great, And I'm not
being sexist her or anything, but there's an old wives
tale about not letting your wifey or girlfriend eat too
many pickles. I won't get into details.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Well what happened Dan if they too many?
Speaker 3 (34:47):
H How could I say this kindly?
Speaker 1 (34:51):
What are you gonna say? How will you phrase it?
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Ah? Shoot, be politically corked this that the pickle, the
pickles aura might come out of her, the pickles aura
might come out of her body in some way.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Oh is that right?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Okay, yeah, okay, that's one way to a little that's
like a dirty dash of pickle. Uh. Anyway, we'll get
out on Thanks to everyone else who sent that mail.
Thanks to Chris, what a way to end the weekend.
Marri Cocada, Iowa. And Ronnie from Zero. We didn't get
(35:39):
to his mail his letter JJ from the Motown. All
you other guys that sent messages in try again next week.
We've got the schedule. It's gonna be crazy schedule. I
will I'll be on tonight, Danny, and then I am
getting on the big bird and flying sometime on Monday
to the East coast. And then spending a couple of
(36:01):
days with family. Malard meet and greet on Friday.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
How many days of Bernie Fratto do we get to
look forward to.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
I don't know who's filling in for me, but I'll
be away from my post for about a week and
then I'll be back early next week. My niece is
graduating from college, so I'm excited for her to see
some family. Yeah, and my in laws and all that.
But I will be back soon. But again, i'd love
to meet you this Thursday. Hopefully you can come out
hang out with us, be part of the fun, and
(36:27):
we can tell stories that I can't tell on the
podcast of the radio. You can ask me anything you
want about Eddie Garcia, you know, picking his nose or
Kooper Loop staring at the vending machine for twenty five minutes,
or any of those kind of guys.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Order Loraina, not washing or pinky Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I mean that's all fair game. It's all fair game.
And again check us out. We'll be at the English Pub,
my favorite English plub in Charleston, South Gelina.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
Sounds like a fun time. My wife's sideburn, no.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
No, no, no, it's my father's mustache. May tenth This Friday,
three o clock till five o'clock, James Island location. Come
on out, say hello. I'll be hanging out eating some
pretzels or whatever, hanging out, having a good time. But
have a wonderful week. I'll be on tonight, Danny, what
are you got going on?
Speaker 3 (37:11):
Yeah, it's Sunday. You know I'm gonna be back for
a fun Monday. I was gonna say Monday morning. That's
when I start mind Shift Monday afternoon with Covino and
Rich two to five. It's an extra hour.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It's been a long day to an extra hour day. Yeah,
that's good.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Two to four on the West Side, and that is
five to seven pm in beautiful. I don't know you
picked the East coast city this time.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Let's go with East Coast city Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Nice, beautiful Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I have a wonderful day.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Later, skater got a murder. I gotta go.
Host
Ben Maller
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An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.