November 20, 2022 • 30 mins
Ben Maller is in the studio with Alex Teichert (in for Danny G.) having some mail bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House
of hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
everywhere louviating every single eight days a week. This is
I think the eighth thing we I don't know, I
have no idea, but it is the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and not Danny G Radio. As Danny G
(00:45):
is away, we roll up our sleeves. We knuckled down
with the Great Alexander, Alexander the Great, well actually Alex
Alex Tiger, Alex the Vegan as he has known. Back again.
He was the Penny on Friday, he gave us stories
of the anime world and the gym on Saturday, and
now he is back to help us answer listener mail
(01:09):
on this podcast. Very exciting here and listen, Alex. I
hope you're prepared for this. You never know what you're
gonna get in the mail bag. You have no idea
what you're gonna get. It's a pot pourri of questions.
We're about to raise the curtain and embark on a
(01:30):
mission that will go through the cosmos. And before we
get that going, here, we've got to say hello, Ohio.
Al's got this little ditty. That's how we start the
mail bag. Here we go, all right, very good, thank you,
(01:57):
Ohio Al. So first up here, Kevin in Kansas. I
don't have my usual male sound effects here because I'm
we're doing this on a different setup. So just imagine
male blank blanks. All right, Kevin in Kansas writes, Since says,
dear Benn and friend, it's it's a Thursday, and I'm
eating a turkey meal at school. Kevin is a teacher,
(02:19):
by the way, in Kansas. He says, it's pretty good.
I was wondering what you liked or looked forward to
for school lunches back in your heyday. Alright, So Kevin,
I'll go first here, and then Alice you can chimm it.
So I my mom made most of my lunches. It
was normally a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or tuna
(02:42):
fish sandwich. She alternated and a bag of chips. And
I did not like the tuna fish sandwich because often
by the time lunch came around, it was a warm
tuna fish sandwich. And there's nothing worse than a warm
tuna fish sandwich. And uh and my mom would slob
it with mayonnaise and all that, and she loved it
(03:03):
and she was an easy meal and all that, but
I I did not. So that's what I don't like.
But every once in a while to be able to
eat the cafeteria. And this one's gonna be surprising, but
I love the big corn dog. The big corn dog
that I was like a special treat. And it wasn't
particularly good, as I remember, but for some reason I
loved the corn dog when they had that on the
(03:23):
menu when I was was a kid. What about you, Alex,
any of any fun memories of school lunches man back
in your day, which wasn't that long ago, But no,
it was. Actually you know what's funny, Ben, is that
I still remember. So at the school I went to,
we had this little hole in the wall Mexican spot
called Meet Guel's Junior. Have you ever tried Met Guels Junior? Ben?
(03:45):
So this is like, uh, when you're in high school
and this was This was in junior high and high
school where I went to school. They were right next
to each other the schools. Have you ever tried the spot?
I know their local here and Cow. I do not
believe I've seen it, but I have not eating it. Okay,
tell me the next time you're in studio, I will
bring you one of their famous bean rice and cheese burritos.
So I, oh gosh, it's amazing. It's like a home
(04:08):
style grandma cooking burritos. And I remember it was the
longest line in history of school. You would literally try
to get out early and ask your teacher at the
class from out early so you could get your food first,
so you weren't waiting fifteen minutes of your thirty minute
lunch to get the food. Forever and always, I'll remember
those burritos and getting a bag of hot cheetos and
putting them inside of the burrito. Oh my gosh, Ben,
(04:31):
that was it, man, that's it, Mber we talked about
with the happy previous episode right or by the way,
is there anything like when you're in elementary school? I
remember the corn dog when I was like like maybe
maybe it was junior high, but I remember I wasn't.
I don't think it was high school. It was high
school younger than that. In elementary I remember we had
(04:54):
a taco Tuesday and it would be like a taco bar,
and the best part about it was the tacos were
so messy. You would have a taco salad after so
I would always get those as a kid in elementary school.
So you're from a different generation. I think by the
time you got to school, they probably had healthier items.
Like when I was a kid, they did. They didn't
give a ship like whatever, and it was feeding what
(05:15):
they want. Shut the kids, Hey, what do we have
in the freezer on some old hot dogs? Give it
to the kids. They'll be kids like that thought. Whatever.
As long as we don't see floaters in the toilet,
that's for another time. Yeah, exactly, all right. Next up
Pierre from the recliner, waiting to see Josh Allen dig
his way out of up the four feet of snow.
Well not anymore, Pierre. They moved that game out of
an abundance of caution to Detroit. But Pierre, yeah, that
(05:38):
that that abundance of caution thing. I know Pierre didn't
ask about this from Springfield, mass But that is the
excuse he can use about anything. You know, I didn't
finish that assignment out of work, out of an abundance
of caution. I was a little onto the weather, and
I just want to you know, you can literally say
that about anything, the greatest get out of whatever you're
gonna do situation. And I said this on the radio
(05:59):
show the other day. But my theory is why the
NFL moved the game out of bubble. They've played games
in blizzards when I was a kid that used to
play no matter what. But I'm blaming lawyers, Alex really, yes,
because of liability. They don't want someone to get hurt
traveling tour from the game in the snow. And because
that's that's a lawsuit. If somebody were to die and
(06:19):
their family were to sue the NFL and say, well,
you know it's unsafe. You were asking people to come
to the game. I know they didn't have to come
to the game, but you asked them to come to
the game. You know, so and so was a big
fan of the Bills, went to the game driving on
the road. The snow would not have been driving Admint
for the game. Guy, don't accident. They died, and so
now you gotta pay us a bunch of them. That
makes sense. Yeah, I agree, they didn't do that back
(06:43):
in the day anyway. Pierre Pierce's is there any truth
to the rumor, uh that you and Danny and the
elitist will be subpoenaed as defendants in the ft X
lawsuit along with the likes of Tom Brady, Gelle, Steph Curry,
David Ortiz, and Larry David used this alex Is ft
X lawsuit was just going around about it. What happened? Yeah,
(07:05):
So this big company f t X crypto currency outfit.
They they had like thirty two billion in venture capital.
They were, yeah, like insane amounts of money. They had
Super Bowl commercials, they were mainstream, and they signed deals
with Tom Brady, Steph courage Azel, they had your kidding. Yeah,
they went bankrupt this week. Yeah. Yeah, the leven uh
(07:29):
US investors lost eleven billion dollars and now all these
famous people are being sued because they endorsed it and
they made it seem like it was no easy, no
brainer and all that stuff. Legit thing. Yeah, Larry David's commercial.
I don't know. If you saw that, you might want
to look that up on YouTube. It is the funniest
commercial I've seen, and it's even funnier now because the
(07:53):
entire thing, like Larry is like, uh, you know, who's
gonna buy coffee? Who's gonna want that man on the moon? No,
they're not going to the moon. You know. He said
no to all these great inventions like in human history.
And then at the end of the commercial there was like,
you know, they asked him about this this ft X things.
Oh no, that's not gonna work, and I'm never wrong
about this, and of course he was right. It didn't. Wow.
(08:15):
Really it was a good commercial. That's hysterical. But I'm
happy to report I have not invested in ft I'm
not no, I don't care. I'm low on the investment
side for you without let anime money. Now you know.
Then you know I will neither confirm or deny. I'm
just to fill in here. I'll keep the eyesight on
Danny g and yourself. But Crypto. I might have some
(08:39):
interest in Crypto. I'll just say that, Oh yeah, be careful, man,
that's the wild West, the wild wild West. And I'll
tell you this. If Tom Brady and Giselle invested in it,
I'm going the other way. So that's a safe bet
for me. So I'm good on that. Yeah, there was
an interesting conspiracy theory that somebody came up with actually
on TikTok that Brady when he went to the Bahamas
(09:00):
and Giselle when she went to Costa Rica was tied
into that story. The conspiracy is Brady went there and
I think it was August because he was tipped off
that this might be happening, that trouble with the Feds,
and so he was like, wait a minute. You know,
I've got a lot of money invested here, and I've
got you know, my name and all my brand, and
so he went down there to try to figure out
(09:20):
what's going on. And then the theorious Giselle went to
Costa Rica because they have a lot of offshore banking
options where you can hide your money. Yes, so though
it's a good conspiracy. And then they get a divorce
to cover their trail. Yeah. Well, by the way, Ben
to this whole divorcing, if Gizelle for Tom Brady, for example,
(09:40):
a seven times super Bowl winner, most money in the world,
a playboy guy. All this stuff can't keep Jaiselle. None
of us are safe? Are you kidding me? But she
might be a pain in the end. She looks like
she'd be doing those rituals for his games and stuff.
Get out of here with that? What is that? To
be fair to women? I think Brady is probably a
pain in the ask too. You know, he does look
like a pain? Does they both look like contaminated with
(10:03):
whatever that is? Anyway? All right? Moving on Mike from
Fullerton Rights and and so, Callie says, how big a
fan of car chases are you? Also? Do you like
the current You like the current way they're handled in
California where they can last until the suspect runs out
of gas, or would you rather bring demolition derby cops?
(10:24):
Back from Mike, Yeah, I'm a huge fan of the
car chase. It's it's great. And I have friends that
local that work in local television, and sometimes they get
upset because if you do the sports and there's a
car chase at eleven o'clock, they just go to the
car chase because it's a ratings winner. People, It's it's
the greatest drama that you have. You have good guys,
(10:47):
bad guys like the good guys, the cops chasing the
bad guys. You don't know what's gonna happen. Someone could die, right,
there's always the surprise plot twist where they throw stuff
out of the cars and they stop the car they
run somewhere. Uh, it's it's great. I had an idea.
I told Eddie on the Overnight Show the other day, Alex,
(11:07):
I said, we should start a internet channel or like
a real TV channel, like on you know, traditional TV,
where all we do is show car chase. Really yeah,
it would only air for a few hours a day
because most of these car chases happen daytime or early evening.
They get on television, and we'd go east coast, west coast,
(11:30):
Like there are car chase. People think it's only a
California thing. It's not. There are police chases everywhere. It
gets a lot of attention in California because they have
so many news copters up in l A, more so
than most cities, so it gets a lot of coverage.
But I've yet to meet anyone that doesn't enjoy a
good car chase on TV. Are you that guy, Alex,
Are you the guy that does not enjoy watching a
(11:51):
car chase, Ben, I am not that guy. You've gotten
the infection. Also, dude, n I'm telling you. We're in
the studios and we have multiple TVs on multiple different stations.
I've never had anything in my life in these studios.
Stop everybody and they go, there's a chase on eight
(12:12):
and we put it on every single TV. It's insane.
And a few times, Alex, we've had police chases go
right by our studios. Awesome, it's there's something really cool.
And we have these showcase studios while that we're moving
to a new studio. We can't get that right now.
But we're moving to a new studio. We won't to
have we won't have this view anymore. But right now
(12:33):
we have a view out to it's right near the
corner of Ventura and Supulvito Boulevard. We have a view
of Subulvito Boulevard and you'll be watching It's it's really
one of those surreal things, like when you're watching the
car chase and then you look out the window and
it goes by, Yes, it goes by where you're working.
(12:54):
It's it's pretty well. I still remember Jason Smith was
in studio. He ran outside, waving at the car it
was driving with all the cops, and he comes back
in like a kid who just got ice cream from
a truck. Like it was amazing to me. That's funny.
It was like the the o J Chase then before
your time. Then the famous o JA people were out
(13:15):
running out on the freew their hundreds of people. Can't
nuts saw, you know, I saw this is I was
in college at the time. I saw. I was going
to my college radio station at Saddleback. The o J
Chase actually started in South Orange County in I think
(13:36):
it was Laguna Hills Lake Forest. That's where Nicole Brown
Simpson was buried. Yes, and o J, if I remember correctly,
you know who knows as I understand it as I
remember it, o J went to for some reason, he
went to the cemetery and the cops got word on it,
and that started the chase. And it started all the
(13:57):
way there, and obviously it went up. It picked up
a lot of cops and TV and all that. When
it first started, there was not that, but I I
was actually going southbound on I five. O J was
going northbound. I didn't realize at the time what I
was witnessing, But it wasn't. It wasn't until I got
to the radio station in the college station, and then
(14:17):
I turned on we had the TV going, and it
was like, wait, I think I saw all the beginning
of that. I was like wow, but I did. At
the time, it didn't mean much to me because I
was like, I remember there was the Knicks were playing
the Rockets in the NBA Finals and they actually NBC
split the screen on the finals to show the o
j CS. Was that big a deal? It's crazy? All right?
(14:40):
Nick in Wisconsin rights and he's next on the mail bag.
He says, Ben and guest, Well, how about that? Actually
calls you guests, anticipating that there would be so many,
I didn't name you because I wanted to have the surprise.
I love it. But you'll be on next week too, right,
So next week people can send questions, all right, So
if you want to ask Alex a question about anime
(15:01):
or the vegan lifestyle or anything anything at all, he's
a bachelor life. Since Danny g no longer can do that,
I got you. You've got bohemian tendencies, right, I mean,
we're all about that action bas absolutely, I'm all about
that actual all right, Nick says Bett and guessed when
you were younger and you did something wrong or got
in trouble, who were you most afraid of? Your mom
(15:24):
or your dad? All right? So for me, it's my
my my dad. My mom would always put the fear
of God in me when your dad gets home from work.
And I did get the belt one time, really, I
did get the belt. Yeah, because I'm of the age
you got the belt. And that's all it took was
(15:45):
one time. Because the rest of my life, any time
I fucked up, my mom would say, your father's gonna
get home and he's got the belt, you know, And
I'd be like, okay, I'll correct my behavior. Right. So
my dad was pretty you know, mellow as it turned out,
and he didn't like doing that stuff either, but does right, Yeah,
(16:09):
you know, they that's how they grew up, and so
they did it, but it was unnatural for them and
they didn't want to be part of What about you, Alex,
When you were a little kid growing up there who
who laid you to a ways? Who devastated you among
the ther your folks. The wooden spoon was the biggest
fear of my life growing up, Ben, And my mom
is from Macedonia, so she is from She is from
(16:33):
the other side of our globe here, Ben. She is
from the old Republic of Yugoslavia, and she grew up
very old school, Third World country style, and so for
her in her household, she was a very strong woman.
Where if I messed up, if I slipped, if I
even thought about talking back to my mom, because I'm
sure you've seen those clips where they showed kids and
they're all like, screw you, mom, you dumb horror, and
(16:53):
then their friends are sitting there like what the hell
is this kid doing? And then that kid goes on
and does the same thing. Shut up, Jay, you know, Like,
so my mom made it known real quick. If you
ever think about lipping off in this house, you're going
to be tasting a wood spoon. And thankfully, Ben, the
fear of God, as you said, kept me away. I
never got hit. There was threats, but I never got hit.
(17:16):
My dad was so mellow, so Chilly'd come home and
just be like, hey, man, just listen to your mom.
I know, thanks Dad. Your mom was She was the
gosh dude. She ran a strict household, and Ben, that
is why to this day. She has been running her
own daycare for twenty two years out of her house
and has up to twelve to fourteen kids, raging from
(17:37):
under one to six years old, and she runs it flawlessly, unbelievable.
Man by herself or if you have people twelve kids,
you got to have people insane? No, all by herself. Really,
she is a super She's a superwoman, Ben, She is
a super Her gift is that it's insane. Well, I
(17:58):
told the story on the set of a podcast by
my niece and nephew over we had three people for
two kids. Can you imagine like we could have used
four people? That's what she just She has the gift. Ben,
it's crazy. Literally, people come over, it's naptime, everybody's asleep.
How do you get all the kids to sleep at
the same time. You should do a podcast with your
mom and she can tell her secrets about how I
would actually do that. I'm gonna do that. Should you should?
(18:20):
I would like to, I would listen to that. I will.
I will do a podcast. Kids weren't wild. Man, I'm
as SOFTI though, I admit it. Almost Yeah, I'm I'm
like God, Yeah, I feel bad for you do whatever
you want your kids, right, yeah, alright. Jeff in Chicago
rights and he says, been a friend. Uh, I called
you a friend. I'm a friend. I love friends. Do
you guys believe that compliments are really genuine? Oh no,
(18:42):
Uh well, I'll answer it this way, Tisher. I think
if somebody compliments everything, their phony facts. If if you
sporadically compliment, I think it's more genuine. We all know
people that just you know, they just they're they're sweet.
Kiss oh yeah, brown on their nose, right yeah, brown noses,
(19:02):
and and those people are just totally totally funny. The
other people, and I don't want to name names here,
put the thing that I don't like. And I've been
a lot of meetings over the years of different places
I worked. The compliments sandwich. Oh that's so annoying. Oh
I hate that. Oh gosh, everybody's doing great. The numbers
are down, but we're doing great. Yes, everybody. No. When
(19:23):
they start out with a compliment, they said, you know,
you're doing really wonderful, we love you. But then they
get to what they really want. You're a fucking disaster.
You don't know what the funk you're doing. And then
they by the way, I really like what you're wearing today.
That's so funny. It's like, no disrespect they say something
totally disrespectful, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what's funny.
(19:43):
I will say this. The reason why I said no
is because I don't believe there's true, genuine compliments unless
it is something that is heartfelt. So I think that
is something entirely different from a compliment. I truly believe
when you give something like a little insight, and you
give somebody like a little piece of something about you
and you really like kind of almost like you let
them in and express something deep, I think that's above
(20:06):
a compliment because to me, compliments are so like ground level.
It's like seeing a good looking girl, Oh, you're attractive.
We know why you think she's attractive. You know, like
you're trying to get in her pants. We know. So
I think it's the same thing though, ben like a
compliment is so skin deep to really show somebody be like,
hey man, I just want to let you know. If
I never met you, I don't think I would be
doing this well in my life. Like that's the stuff
I enjoyed, that's real stuff. Yeah, I have read in
(20:28):
the past. Obviously married now, but I wish I had
known this when I was single with it's more successful
because every guy like just compliment with always, always, So
it actually is more effective if you goof on them. Yep,
if you rip sarcasm and trolling works who all the time?
Who knew that that would be more of it? Was like,
oh yeah, beautiful, I'm living proof, brand I'm living proof
(20:52):
of it. Ben. It's crazy. It has worked all the time.
It never fails. You want to throw them off. They're
used to everybody knocking over them. Be the different one.
You gotta stand out from the cross tallest play of
grass gets cut first, right, all right, madd In Dallas writes,
and he says, can you remember the last time you
(21:13):
laugh so hard you snorted? I don't know about snorting,
but I've laughed up many times. We've had a lot
of funny moments on the show where I've laughed his story.
The one of the moments that just popped in my
head now was when we had this caller Genie in Medford.
I love Genie, alright, yeah, rest in peace, Genie. And
(21:34):
she she was on with Pete and Pittsburgh and Genie
started acting like a gangster rapper from l A. It
was a you know, this middle aged older woman from Oregon.
It was. It was hilarious. I was like, I thought,
I thought she had been possessed by a demon. It was.
It was crazy. And then the other one, which is
(21:55):
the funniest I've ever laughed in my life, is at
a Dodger game. I was in the press box. It
was years ago. There was this broadcaster named Jerry Coleman
who was a legend in San Diego, the Colonel, and
he was calling a game for Network Radio with Gary Cohen,
who's a famous Mets broadcaster. And it was way back,
it was probably almost thirty years ago. The Dodgers had
(22:15):
a picture named Hideo Nomo from Japan. It was very famous,
and they had they were calling me him right in
front of me. Usually they had their own booth, but
they right in front of me. And it was in
between innings. It was like the sixth or seventh inning.
And Jerry Coleman, this old guy, he'd played with the
Yankees back in the glory days of the Yankees, and
he was an older gentleman at this time, and he
(22:36):
went back to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee,
and Paul Bear this engineer, I think I believe his
name was Paul Barry anyway, the engineer for the broadcast.
As Jerry was walking back, he said, watch out, Jerry's
got the coffee. He's gonna spill it. And so but
for some reason, Jerry had a stack of paper and
(22:57):
he was balancing this cup of car feet on the
stack of paper. And as he's walking back through the
press box, he walks back down the steps and Gary
Cohen's sitting there waiting for the game to pick up.
They're playing the Montreal Expos, a team that doesn't even
exist anyways, how long ago, and Jerry spills the blazing
hot coffee all over the back of the the other
(23:22):
guy who's calling the game. He then reaches out and
starts screaming he's burned all over his booke. So now
it's like Keystone Cops episode. So Jerry's like feeling bad.
So he then walks back to get some napkins to
clean up the mess. Meanwhile, the game's coming back and
(23:43):
the broadcast the show must go on. At show Business,
the show must go on. So the the Gary Cohen,
the Mets broadcaster takes his shirt off, right, so he's
sitting in the press box and it looked like the
map of Africa on his back with all the different
like red spots, and oh my god, it was. I
(24:04):
laughed so hard, just the whole visual of watch out,
Jerry's gonna spill the coffee and then write them back
and then seeing a guy who play by play with
his shirt off and seeing the back all it was.
I guess you had to be there, but man, was
it funny? Man? What about you? Any any hilarious memories
of laughing out loud that you laugh a lot? Gosh, Ben,
(24:25):
I'm such a happy guy, like I always enjoy every moment.
But snorting, I don't know if I've ever snorted Like
that's a really tough laugh to get too, because I
always laugh. I can just tell you, like there are
a plethora of ones just from Rob Parker here in
the studio. Just just Robb being robbed cracks me up
every time. Ben, Like he God, he's a character, this
his mannerism. I've never wanted to impersonate somebody more in
(24:49):
my life. Ben. That says something like I literally wake
up in the morning like it's morning one I've never
done in my life before. It cracks me up. There
are some people that are very easy and fun doing. Personally,
we have one of our bosses we like to have
fun with. Yes, yes, he's got a very interesting cadence
(25:09):
and all that, so we'd like to goof on him. So, uh,
I don't know. A snorting I don't know that that's
tough because I think like that's a type of breathing style,
Like you're a person who is inhaling as they're laughing,
so that's why the snorting happens. I don't think I've
ever breathed while laughing like that. I don't know. I
might have, Yeah, I don't think I have. Next up,
Jed who fled? Who? Maybe in jail? This was sent
(25:31):
way before he had a date in court, facing a
lot of time. In The Pokey Pokey Pokey from the
Redneck Riviera in Florida, he says, if you could shoot
a liquid out of each one of your fingers, which
five would you choose? He says, essentially, if you have
an unlimited amount of any five liquids, which five would
(25:51):
you pick? You want to go first on this one?
Any liquids, that's what he says. Any liquids, okay, some
superhero stuff. Yeah, I guess the first finger would be
my pointer finger, and I would do the actual uh
five W twenty that I need for my car, so
I drive so damn much I want to be I
(26:11):
would love to fill up my oil tank easier. Uh.
The second one would probably be if I could do
this spring water, like if I could find actual a
way to do spring water out of one of my fingers,
say less, that's two right there. Uh? The fifth or
the third one? Holy crap, this is where it gets
a little nicy. Okay, So I cook a lot, Ben,
(26:32):
like I know you were saying more recently you found
your niche for the griddle and everything as well, in which,
by the way, Ben, I might have to break my
coat and try your pastrami one of these days. Pretty good, Okay,
I might have to. I say. My third one would
be olive oil because I cook so much and there's
so many times I'm missing oil. It would help, like
it would be just astronomical. Okay, So that'd be three.
(26:54):
The fourth one, I'm a sucker for sauces, Ben, Like
if you give me a good sauce on any thing.
It always slaps, so this might be a little hot,
taky saracha. I love saracha. Wow, you want to have
sarach it anymore? I would love to just put it
on eggs if I have some eggs, put it on
like a sandwich on pizza on your ring finger. Yes,
because think about that. That's a hot, you know, hot one.
(27:15):
And then the last one, Ben, and this is a
big one too, because I drive so much. I would
love to be able to pee for my pinky just
so I don't have to. I can literally grab a
water bottle, fill it up and keep driving. It would
make road trips so dope. All right? So again, what
was the you have the five there? What was the
last one? The last one would be taking a pee, Ben,
(27:36):
I would love to hear so I could just fill
up a bot. I'm gonna The first one I would
have is ghasoline. I didn't think of that. Yeah, yeah,
that's a liquid. Can I change? Yeah, well you can?
Which one would you get a bit? All right? I'll
stop to pee? Give me gas all right? Yeah? Yeah?
Right yeah, because if you had gas at any moment,
and that's huge right now? Right? Oh, I mean, you
(27:57):
wouldn't have to worry about Yeah, that's money gas. I
would go water too, and want to drink of water. Uh.
I like a nice glass of lemonade. Leade. There. I
thought you might be a wine guy, bend little. The
last two, the cooking oil is not bad. Makes it easy.
(28:21):
I love to cook, Yeah, makes it easy. There. And
then the fourth one, I'm trying to think you. It
is a tough one. Like I don't really like melk liquid.
Not a wine rinker. I don't really drink soda anymore.
That's out, like man, because we drive a lot. I
don't like this, the blood thing. No, I don't need that.
(28:44):
I don't. I got I got four? How about extra gas?
How about yes you can because the first tank runs out,
absolutely double it up? Alright? Time for you, maybe one
or two more. Frank in Philly says, would you rather
eat ice cream or popcorn? All day? Ben? I saw
(29:06):
a documentary of how popcorn has really made I will
never eat popcorn again? Really? Yeah? Why how is it that?
I don't want to spoil it for you or anybody else.
I will just say ice cream till I die, alright.
And I used to be a huge popcorn guy. Just okay,
Well you don't want to know how they make the
hot dogs or anything like that. Oh man, you never
want to know how the hot dogs made. Oh you'd
(29:28):
be a vegan? Yeah? No. From Austin as a Thanksgiving question,
You're I don't know, that's kind of I mean, I
love you know, I'm glad you're a fan, but your
favorite at least favorite Thanksgiving this that's that applies to
my my warning for holiday radio. Yes, yes, I don't know.
We should we should do that. Anyway, we will get
(29:50):
out on that. Thanks to to everyone. Uh. Mike fred
in Spring Texas also asked a question about the Hall
of Fame whether Joe Jackson, Pete Roach should get in.
I say, when you let the steroids in, steroid guys in,
you should let them in. Hello, Joe Jackson did did
take money from gamblers, and Pete obviously bet on baseball
and all that. But let them all in, Ben Baseball
(30:10):
is all in in bed with gambling now anyway, let
them all in. Wine. It's like they should release the
people are in jail for weed now too. Yeah, what
are we doing? Weed's mainstream? Now? Come on? People should
not be in jail for weed related to come on
pretty stupid On that note. Anything remote here, Alex, I
know you've got places to go, things to do, people
to see. Ben. It was an absolute pleasure to be
(30:32):
here again. I cannot wait for next week. Ben out
standing listen, you're the man again. Thank you for supporting
the podcast that you guys download it. I'll be back
tonight on the terrestrial radio show eleven o'clock in the West,
three a m. Or two am rather in the East,
and we'll be here the majority of the week and
(30:54):
we'll catch you next time.
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day dred minutes
a week was enough, I think again. He's the last
remnants of the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness.
He treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as
the rich pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing House
of hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth
(00:23):
Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in the air
everywhere louviating every single eight days a week. This is
I think the eighth thing we I don't know, I
have no idea, but it is the Fifth Hour with
Ben Maller and not Danny G Radio. As Danny G
(00:45):
is away, we roll up our sleeves. We knuckled down
with the Great Alexander, Alexander the Great, well actually Alex
Alex Tiger, Alex the Vegan as he has known. Back again.
He was the Penny on Friday, he gave us stories
of the anime world and the gym on Saturday, and
now he is back to help us answer listener mail
(01:09):
on this podcast. Very exciting here and listen, Alex. I
hope you're prepared for this. You never know what you're
gonna get in the mail bag. You have no idea
what you're gonna get. It's a pot pourri of questions.
We're about to raise the curtain and embark on a
(01:30):
mission that will go through the cosmos. And before we
get that going, here, we've got to say hello, Ohio.
Al's got this little ditty. That's how we start the
mail bag. Here we go, all right, very good, thank you,
(01:57):
Ohio Al. So first up here, Kevin in Kansas. I
don't have my usual male sound effects here because I'm
we're doing this on a different setup. So just imagine
male blank blanks. All right, Kevin in Kansas writes, Since says,
dear Benn and friend, it's it's a Thursday, and I'm
eating a turkey meal at school. Kevin is a teacher,
(02:19):
by the way, in Kansas. He says, it's pretty good.
I was wondering what you liked or looked forward to
for school lunches back in your heyday. Alright, So Kevin,
I'll go first here, and then Alice you can chimm it.
So I my mom made most of my lunches. It
was normally a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or tuna
(02:42):
fish sandwich. She alternated and a bag of chips. And
I did not like the tuna fish sandwich because often
by the time lunch came around, it was a warm
tuna fish sandwich. And there's nothing worse than a warm
tuna fish sandwich. And uh and my mom would slob
it with mayonnaise and all that, and she loved it
(03:03):
and she was an easy meal and all that, but
I I did not. So that's what I don't like.
But every once in a while to be able to
eat the cafeteria. And this one's gonna be surprising, but
I love the big corn dog. The big corn dog
that I was like a special treat. And it wasn't
particularly good, as I remember, but for some reason I
loved the corn dog when they had that on the
(03:23):
menu when I was was a kid. What about you, Alex,
any of any fun memories of school lunches man back
in your day, which wasn't that long ago, But no,
it was. Actually you know what's funny, Ben, is that
I still remember. So at the school I went to,
we had this little hole in the wall Mexican spot
called Meet Guel's Junior. Have you ever tried Met Guels Junior? Ben?
(03:45):
So this is like, uh, when you're in high school
and this was This was in junior high and high
school where I went to school. They were right next
to each other the schools. Have you ever tried the spot?
I know their local here and Cow. I do not
believe I've seen it, but I have not eating it. Okay,
tell me the next time you're in studio, I will
bring you one of their famous bean rice and cheese burritos.
So I, oh gosh, it's amazing. It's like a home
(04:08):
style grandma cooking burritos. And I remember it was the
longest line in history of school. You would literally try
to get out early and ask your teacher at the
class from out early so you could get your food first,
so you weren't waiting fifteen minutes of your thirty minute
lunch to get the food. Forever and always, I'll remember
those burritos and getting a bag of hot cheetos and
putting them inside of the burrito. Oh my gosh, Ben,
(04:31):
that was it, man, that's it, Mber we talked about
with the happy previous episode right or by the way,
is there anything like when you're in elementary school? I
remember the corn dog when I was like like maybe
maybe it was junior high, but I remember I wasn't.
I don't think it was high school. It was high
school younger than that. In elementary I remember we had
(04:54):
a taco Tuesday and it would be like a taco bar,
and the best part about it was the tacos were
so messy. You would have a taco salad after so
I would always get those as a kid in elementary school.
So you're from a different generation. I think by the
time you got to school, they probably had healthier items.
Like when I was a kid, they did. They didn't
give a ship like whatever, and it was feeding what
(05:15):
they want. Shut the kids, Hey, what do we have
in the freezer on some old hot dogs? Give it
to the kids. They'll be kids like that thought. Whatever.
As long as we don't see floaters in the toilet,
that's for another time. Yeah, exactly, all right. Next up
Pierre from the recliner, waiting to see Josh Allen dig
his way out of up the four feet of snow.
Well not anymore, Pierre. They moved that game out of
an abundance of caution to Detroit. But Pierre, yeah, that
(05:38):
that that abundance of caution thing. I know Pierre didn't
ask about this from Springfield, mass But that is the
excuse he can use about anything. You know, I didn't
finish that assignment out of work, out of an abundance
of caution. I was a little onto the weather, and
I just want to you know, you can literally say
that about anything, the greatest get out of whatever you're
gonna do situation. And I said this on the radio
(05:59):
show the other day. But my theory is why the
NFL moved the game out of bubble. They've played games
in blizzards when I was a kid that used to
play no matter what. But I'm blaming lawyers, Alex really, yes,
because of liability. They don't want someone to get hurt
traveling tour from the game in the snow. And because
that's that's a lawsuit. If somebody were to die and
(06:19):
their family were to sue the NFL and say, well,
you know it's unsafe. You were asking people to come
to the game. I know they didn't have to come
to the game, but you asked them to come to
the game. You know, so and so was a big
fan of the Bills, went to the game driving on
the road. The snow would not have been driving Admint
for the game. Guy, don't accident. They died, and so
now you gotta pay us a bunch of them. That
makes sense. Yeah, I agree, they didn't do that back
(06:43):
in the day anyway. Pierre Pierce's is there any truth
to the rumor, uh that you and Danny and the
elitist will be subpoenaed as defendants in the ft X
lawsuit along with the likes of Tom Brady, Gelle, Steph Curry,
David Ortiz, and Larry David used this alex Is ft
X lawsuit was just going around about it. What happened? Yeah,
(07:05):
So this big company f t X crypto currency outfit.
They they had like thirty two billion in venture capital.
They were, yeah, like insane amounts of money. They had
Super Bowl commercials, they were mainstream, and they signed deals
with Tom Brady, Steph courage Azel, they had your kidding. Yeah,
they went bankrupt this week. Yeah. Yeah, the leven uh
(07:29):
US investors lost eleven billion dollars and now all these
famous people are being sued because they endorsed it and
they made it seem like it was no easy, no
brainer and all that stuff. Legit thing. Yeah, Larry David's commercial.
I don't know. If you saw that, you might want
to look that up on YouTube. It is the funniest
commercial I've seen, and it's even funnier now because the
(07:53):
entire thing, like Larry is like, uh, you know, who's
gonna buy coffee? Who's gonna want that man on the moon? No,
they're not going to the moon. You know. He said
no to all these great inventions like in human history.
And then at the end of the commercial there was like,
you know, they asked him about this this ft X things.
Oh no, that's not gonna work, and I'm never wrong
about this, and of course he was right. It didn't. Wow.
(08:15):
Really it was a good commercial. That's hysterical. But I'm
happy to report I have not invested in ft I'm
not no, I don't care. I'm low on the investment
side for you without let anime money. Now you know.
Then you know I will neither confirm or deny. I'm
just to fill in here. I'll keep the eyesight on
Danny g and yourself. But Crypto. I might have some
(08:39):
interest in Crypto. I'll just say that, Oh yeah, be careful, man,
that's the wild West, the wild wild West. And I'll
tell you this. If Tom Brady and Giselle invested in it,
I'm going the other way. So that's a safe bet
for me. So I'm good on that. Yeah, there was
an interesting conspiracy theory that somebody came up with actually
on TikTok that Brady when he went to the Bahamas
(09:00):
and Giselle when she went to Costa Rica was tied
into that story. The conspiracy is Brady went there and
I think it was August because he was tipped off
that this might be happening, that trouble with the Feds,
and so he was like, wait a minute. You know,
I've got a lot of money invested here, and I've
got you know, my name and all my brand, and
so he went down there to try to figure out
(09:20):
what's going on. And then the theorious Giselle went to
Costa Rica because they have a lot of offshore banking
options where you can hide your money. Yes, so though
it's a good conspiracy. And then they get a divorce
to cover their trail. Yeah. Well, by the way, Ben
to this whole divorcing, if Gizelle for Tom Brady, for example,
(09:40):
a seven times super Bowl winner, most money in the world,
a playboy guy. All this stuff can't keep Jaiselle. None
of us are safe? Are you kidding me? But she
might be a pain in the end. She looks like
she'd be doing those rituals for his games and stuff.
Get out of here with that? What is that? To
be fair to women? I think Brady is probably a
pain in the ask too. You know, he does look
like a pain? Does they both look like contaminated with
(10:03):
whatever that is? Anyway? All right? Moving on Mike from
Fullerton Rights and and so, Callie says, how big a
fan of car chases are you? Also? Do you like
the current You like the current way they're handled in
California where they can last until the suspect runs out
of gas, or would you rather bring demolition derby cops?
(10:24):
Back from Mike, Yeah, I'm a huge fan of the
car chase. It's it's great. And I have friends that
local that work in local television, and sometimes they get
upset because if you do the sports and there's a
car chase at eleven o'clock, they just go to the
car chase because it's a ratings winner. People, It's it's
the greatest drama that you have. You have good guys,
(10:47):
bad guys like the good guys, the cops chasing the
bad guys. You don't know what's gonna happen. Someone could die, right,
there's always the surprise plot twist where they throw stuff
out of the cars and they stop the car they
run somewhere. Uh, it's it's great. I had an idea.
I told Eddie on the Overnight Show the other day, Alex,
(11:07):
I said, we should start a internet channel or like
a real TV channel, like on you know, traditional TV,
where all we do is show car chase. Really yeah,
it would only air for a few hours a day
because most of these car chases happen daytime or early evening.
They get on television, and we'd go east coast, west coast,
(11:30):
Like there are car chase. People think it's only a
California thing. It's not. There are police chases everywhere. It
gets a lot of attention in California because they have
so many news copters up in l A, more so
than most cities, so it gets a lot of coverage.
But I've yet to meet anyone that doesn't enjoy a
good car chase on TV. Are you that guy, Alex,
Are you the guy that does not enjoy watching a
(11:51):
car chase, Ben, I am not that guy. You've gotten
the infection. Also, dude, n I'm telling you. We're in
the studios and we have multiple TVs on multiple different stations.
I've never had anything in my life in these studios.
Stop everybody and they go, there's a chase on eight
(12:12):
and we put it on every single TV. It's insane.
And a few times, Alex, we've had police chases go
right by our studios. Awesome, it's there's something really cool.
And we have these showcase studios while that we're moving
to a new studio. We can't get that right now.
But we're moving to a new studio. We won't to
have we won't have this view anymore. But right now
(12:33):
we have a view out to it's right near the
corner of Ventura and Supulvito Boulevard. We have a view
of Subulvito Boulevard and you'll be watching It's it's really
one of those surreal things, like when you're watching the
car chase and then you look out the window and
it goes by, Yes, it goes by where you're working.
(12:54):
It's it's pretty well. I still remember Jason Smith was
in studio. He ran outside, waving at the car it
was driving with all the cops, and he comes back
in like a kid who just got ice cream from
a truck. Like it was amazing to me. That's funny.
It was like the the o J Chase then before
your time. Then the famous o JA people were out
(13:15):
running out on the freew their hundreds of people. Can't
nuts saw, you know, I saw this is I was
in college at the time. I saw. I was going
to my college radio station at Saddleback. The o J
Chase actually started in South Orange County in I think
(13:36):
it was Laguna Hills Lake Forest. That's where Nicole Brown
Simpson was buried. Yes, and o J, if I remember correctly,
you know who knows as I understand it as I
remember it, o J went to for some reason, he
went to the cemetery and the cops got word on it,
and that started the chase. And it started all the
(13:57):
way there, and obviously it went up. It picked up
a lot of cops and TV and all that. When
it first started, there was not that, but I I
was actually going southbound on I five. O J was
going northbound. I didn't realize at the time what I
was witnessing, But it wasn't. It wasn't until I got
to the radio station in the college station, and then
(14:17):
I turned on we had the TV going, and it
was like, wait, I think I saw all the beginning
of that. I was like wow, but I did. At
the time, it didn't mean much to me because I
was like, I remember there was the Knicks were playing
the Rockets in the NBA Finals and they actually NBC
split the screen on the finals to show the o
j CS. Was that big a deal? It's crazy? All right?
(14:40):
Nick in Wisconsin rights and he's next on the mail bag.
He says, Ben and guest, Well, how about that? Actually
calls you guests, anticipating that there would be so many,
I didn't name you because I wanted to have the surprise.
I love it. But you'll be on next week too, right,
So next week people can send questions, all right, So
if you want to ask Alex a question about anime
(15:01):
or the vegan lifestyle or anything anything at all, he's
a bachelor life. Since Danny g no longer can do that,
I got you. You've got bohemian tendencies, right, I mean,
we're all about that action bas absolutely, I'm all about
that actual all right, Nick says Bett and guessed when
you were younger and you did something wrong or got
in trouble, who were you most afraid of? Your mom
(15:24):
or your dad? All right? So for me, it's my
my my dad. My mom would always put the fear
of God in me when your dad gets home from work.
And I did get the belt one time, really, I
did get the belt. Yeah, because I'm of the age
you got the belt. And that's all it took was
(15:45):
one time. Because the rest of my life, any time
I fucked up, my mom would say, your father's gonna
get home and he's got the belt, you know, And
I'd be like, okay, I'll correct my behavior. Right. So
my dad was pretty you know, mellow as it turned out,
and he didn't like doing that stuff either, but does right, Yeah,
(16:09):
you know, they that's how they grew up, and so
they did it, but it was unnatural for them and
they didn't want to be part of What about you, Alex,
When you were a little kid growing up there who
who laid you to a ways? Who devastated you among
the ther your folks. The wooden spoon was the biggest
fear of my life growing up, Ben, And my mom
is from Macedonia, so she is from She is from
(16:33):
the other side of our globe here, Ben. She is
from the old Republic of Yugoslavia, and she grew up
very old school, Third World country style, and so for
her in her household, she was a very strong woman.
Where if I messed up, if I slipped, if I
even thought about talking back to my mom, because I'm
sure you've seen those clips where they showed kids and
they're all like, screw you, mom, you dumb horror, and
(16:53):
then their friends are sitting there like what the hell
is this kid doing? And then that kid goes on
and does the same thing. Shut up, Jay, you know, Like,
so my mom made it known real quick. If you
ever think about lipping off in this house, you're going
to be tasting a wood spoon. And thankfully, Ben, the
fear of God, as you said, kept me away. I
never got hit. There was threats, but I never got hit.
(17:16):
My dad was so mellow, so Chilly'd come home and
just be like, hey, man, just listen to your mom.
I know, thanks Dad. Your mom was She was the
gosh dude. She ran a strict household, and Ben, that
is why to this day. She has been running her
own daycare for twenty two years out of her house
and has up to twelve to fourteen kids, raging from
(17:37):
under one to six years old, and she runs it flawlessly, unbelievable.
Man by herself or if you have people twelve kids,
you got to have people insane? No, all by herself. Really,
she is a super She's a superwoman, Ben, She is
a super Her gift is that it's insane. Well, I
(17:58):
told the story on the set of a podcast by
my niece and nephew over we had three people for
two kids. Can you imagine like we could have used
four people? That's what she just She has the gift. Ben,
it's crazy. Literally, people come over, it's naptime, everybody's asleep.
How do you get all the kids to sleep at
the same time. You should do a podcast with your
mom and she can tell her secrets about how I
would actually do that. I'm gonna do that. Should you should?
(18:20):
I would like to, I would listen to that. I will.
I will do a podcast. Kids weren't wild. Man, I'm
as SOFTI though, I admit it. Almost Yeah, I'm I'm
like God, Yeah, I feel bad for you do whatever
you want your kids, right, yeah, alright. Jeff in Chicago
rights and he says, been a friend. Uh, I called
you a friend. I'm a friend. I love friends. Do
you guys believe that compliments are really genuine? Oh no,
(18:42):
Uh well, I'll answer it this way, Tisher. I think
if somebody compliments everything, their phony facts. If if you
sporadically compliment, I think it's more genuine. We all know
people that just you know, they just they're they're sweet.
Kiss oh yeah, brown on their nose, right yeah, brown noses,
(19:02):
and and those people are just totally totally funny. The
other people, and I don't want to name names here,
put the thing that I don't like. And I've been
a lot of meetings over the years of different places
I worked. The compliments sandwich. Oh that's so annoying. Oh
I hate that. Oh gosh, everybody's doing great. The numbers
are down, but we're doing great. Yes, everybody. No. When
(19:23):
they start out with a compliment, they said, you know,
you're doing really wonderful, we love you. But then they
get to what they really want. You're a fucking disaster.
You don't know what the funk you're doing. And then
they by the way, I really like what you're wearing today.
That's so funny. It's like, no disrespect they say something
totally disrespectful, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what's funny.
(19:43):
I will say this. The reason why I said no
is because I don't believe there's true, genuine compliments unless
it is something that is heartfelt. So I think that
is something entirely different from a compliment. I truly believe
when you give something like a little insight, and you
give somebody like a little piece of something about you
and you really like kind of almost like you let
them in and express something deep, I think that's above
(20:06):
a compliment because to me, compliments are so like ground level.
It's like seeing a good looking girl, Oh, you're attractive.
We know why you think she's attractive. You know, like
you're trying to get in her pants. We know. So
I think it's the same thing though, ben like a
compliment is so skin deep to really show somebody be like,
hey man, I just want to let you know. If
I never met you, I don't think I would be
doing this well in my life. Like that's the stuff
I enjoyed, that's real stuff. Yeah, I have read in
(20:28):
the past. Obviously married now, but I wish I had
known this when I was single with it's more successful
because every guy like just compliment with always, always, So
it actually is more effective if you goof on them. Yep,
if you rip sarcasm and trolling works who all the time?
Who knew that that would be more of it? Was like,
oh yeah, beautiful, I'm living proof, brand I'm living proof
(20:52):
of it. Ben. It's crazy. It has worked all the time.
It never fails. You want to throw them off. They're
used to everybody knocking over them. Be the different one.
You gotta stand out from the cross tallest play of
grass gets cut first, right, all right, madd In Dallas writes,
and he says, can you remember the last time you
(21:13):
laugh so hard you snorted? I don't know about snorting,
but I've laughed up many times. We've had a lot
of funny moments on the show where I've laughed his story.
The one of the moments that just popped in my
head now was when we had this caller Genie in Medford.
I love Genie, alright, yeah, rest in peace, Genie. And
(21:34):
she she was on with Pete and Pittsburgh and Genie
started acting like a gangster rapper from l A. It
was a you know, this middle aged older woman from Oregon.
It was. It was hilarious. I was like, I thought,
I thought she had been possessed by a demon. It was.
It was crazy. And then the other one, which is
(21:55):
the funniest I've ever laughed in my life, is at
a Dodger game. I was in the press box. It
was years ago. There was this broadcaster named Jerry Coleman
who was a legend in San Diego, the Colonel, and
he was calling a game for Network Radio with Gary Cohen,
who's a famous Mets broadcaster. And it was way back,
it was probably almost thirty years ago. The Dodgers had
(22:15):
a picture named Hideo Nomo from Japan. It was very famous,
and they had they were calling me him right in
front of me. Usually they had their own booth, but
they right in front of me. And it was in
between innings. It was like the sixth or seventh inning.
And Jerry Coleman, this old guy, he'd played with the
Yankees back in the glory days of the Yankees, and
he was an older gentleman at this time, and he
(22:36):
went back to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee,
and Paul Bear this engineer, I think I believe his
name was Paul Barry anyway, the engineer for the broadcast.
As Jerry was walking back, he said, watch out, Jerry's
got the coffee. He's gonna spill it. And so but
for some reason, Jerry had a stack of paper and
(22:57):
he was balancing this cup of car feet on the
stack of paper. And as he's walking back through the
press box, he walks back down the steps and Gary
Cohen's sitting there waiting for the game to pick up.
They're playing the Montreal Expos, a team that doesn't even
exist anyways, how long ago, and Jerry spills the blazing
hot coffee all over the back of the the other
(23:22):
guy who's calling the game. He then reaches out and
starts screaming he's burned all over his booke. So now
it's like Keystone Cops episode. So Jerry's like feeling bad.
So he then walks back to get some napkins to
clean up the mess. Meanwhile, the game's coming back and
(23:43):
the broadcast the show must go on. At show Business,
the show must go on. So the the Gary Cohen,
the Mets broadcaster takes his shirt off, right, so he's
sitting in the press box and it looked like the
map of Africa on his back with all the different
like red spots, and oh my god, it was. I
(24:04):
laughed so hard, just the whole visual of watch out,
Jerry's gonna spill the coffee and then write them back
and then seeing a guy who play by play with
his shirt off and seeing the back all it was.
I guess you had to be there, but man, was
it funny? Man? What about you? Any any hilarious memories
of laughing out loud that you laugh a lot? Gosh, Ben,
(24:25):
I'm such a happy guy, like I always enjoy every moment.
But snorting, I don't know if I've ever snorted Like
that's a really tough laugh to get too, because I
always laugh. I can just tell you, like there are
a plethora of ones just from Rob Parker here in
the studio. Just just Robb being robbed cracks me up
every time. Ben, Like he God, he's a character, this
his mannerism. I've never wanted to impersonate somebody more in
(24:49):
my life. Ben. That says something like I literally wake
up in the morning like it's morning one I've never
done in my life before. It cracks me up. There
are some people that are very easy and fun doing. Personally,
we have one of our bosses we like to have
fun with. Yes, yes, he's got a very interesting cadence
(25:09):
and all that, so we'd like to goof on him. So, uh,
I don't know. A snorting I don't know that that's
tough because I think like that's a type of breathing style,
Like you're a person who is inhaling as they're laughing,
so that's why the snorting happens. I don't think I've
ever breathed while laughing like that. I don't know. I
might have, Yeah, I don't think I have. Next up,
Jed who fled? Who? Maybe in jail? This was sent
(25:31):
way before he had a date in court, facing a
lot of time. In The Pokey Pokey Pokey from the
Redneck Riviera in Florida, he says, if you could shoot
a liquid out of each one of your fingers, which
five would you choose? He says, essentially, if you have
an unlimited amount of any five liquids, which five would
(25:51):
you pick? You want to go first on this one?
Any liquids, that's what he says. Any liquids, okay, some
superhero stuff. Yeah, I guess the first finger would be
my pointer finger, and I would do the actual uh
five W twenty that I need for my car, so
I drive so damn much I want to be I
(26:11):
would love to fill up my oil tank easier. Uh.
The second one would probably be if I could do
this spring water, like if I could find actual a
way to do spring water out of one of my fingers,
say less, that's two right there. Uh? The fifth or
the third one? Holy crap, this is where it gets
a little nicy. Okay, So I cook a lot, Ben,
(26:32):
like I know you were saying more recently you found
your niche for the griddle and everything as well, in which,
by the way, Ben, I might have to break my
coat and try your pastrami one of these days. Pretty good, Okay,
I might have to. I say. My third one would
be olive oil because I cook so much and there's
so many times I'm missing oil. It would help, like
it would be just astronomical. Okay, So that'd be three.
(26:54):
The fourth one, I'm a sucker for sauces, Ben, Like
if you give me a good sauce on any thing.
It always slaps, so this might be a little hot,
taky saracha. I love saracha. Wow, you want to have
sarach it anymore? I would love to just put it
on eggs if I have some eggs, put it on
like a sandwich on pizza on your ring finger. Yes,
because think about that. That's a hot, you know, hot one.
(27:15):
And then the last one, Ben, and this is a
big one too, because I drive so much. I would
love to be able to pee for my pinky just
so I don't have to. I can literally grab a
water bottle, fill it up and keep driving. It would
make road trips so dope. All right? So again, what
was the you have the five there? What was the
last one? The last one would be taking a pee, Ben,
(27:36):
I would love to hear so I could just fill
up a bot. I'm gonna The first one I would
have is ghasoline. I didn't think of that. Yeah, yeah,
that's a liquid. Can I change? Yeah, well you can?
Which one would you get a bit? All right? I'll
stop to pee? Give me gas all right? Yeah? Yeah?
Right yeah, because if you had gas at any moment,
and that's huge right now? Right? Oh, I mean, you
(27:57):
wouldn't have to worry about Yeah, that's money gas. I
would go water too, and want to drink of water. Uh.
I like a nice glass of lemonade. Leade. There. I
thought you might be a wine guy, bend little. The
last two, the cooking oil is not bad. Makes it easy.
(28:21):
I love to cook, Yeah, makes it easy. There. And
then the fourth one, I'm trying to think you. It
is a tough one. Like I don't really like melk liquid.
Not a wine rinker. I don't really drink soda anymore.
That's out, like man, because we drive a lot. I
don't like this, the blood thing. No, I don't need that.
(28:44):
I don't. I got I got four? How about extra gas?
How about yes you can because the first tank runs out,
absolutely double it up? Alright? Time for you, maybe one
or two more. Frank in Philly says, would you rather
eat ice cream or popcorn? All day? Ben? I saw
(29:06):
a documentary of how popcorn has really made I will
never eat popcorn again? Really? Yeah? Why how is it that?
I don't want to spoil it for you or anybody else.
I will just say ice cream till I die, alright.
And I used to be a huge popcorn guy. Just okay,
Well you don't want to know how they make the
hot dogs or anything like that. Oh man, you never
want to know how the hot dogs made. Oh you'd
(29:28):
be a vegan? Yeah? No. From Austin as a Thanksgiving question,
You're I don't know, that's kind of I mean, I
love you know, I'm glad you're a fan, but your
favorite at least favorite Thanksgiving this that's that applies to
my my warning for holiday radio. Yes, yes, I don't know.
We should we should do that. Anyway, we will get
(29:50):
out on that. Thanks to to everyone. Uh. Mike fred
in Spring Texas also asked a question about the Hall
of Fame whether Joe Jackson, Pete Roach should get in.
I say, when you let the steroids in, steroid guys in,
you should let them in. Hello, Joe Jackson did did
take money from gamblers, and Pete obviously bet on baseball
and all that. But let them all in, Ben Baseball
(30:10):
is all in in bed with gambling now anyway, let
them all in. Wine. It's like they should release the
people are in jail for weed now too. Yeah, what
are we doing? Weed's mainstream? Now? Come on? People should
not be in jail for weed related to come on
pretty stupid On that note. Anything remote here, Alex, I
know you've got places to go, things to do, people
to see. Ben. It was an absolute pleasure to be
(30:32):
here again. I cannot wait for next week. Ben out
standing listen, you're the man again. Thank you for supporting
the podcast that you guys download it. I'll be back
tonight on the terrestrial radio show eleven o'clock in the West,
three a m. Or two am rather in the East,
and we'll be here the majority of the week and
(30:54):
we'll catch you next time.
Host
Ben Maller
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