July 14, 2024 • 30 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have Mail Bag fun for your Sunday! All questions sent in by new listeners & P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Greetings.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It is I Big Ben and this the latest edition
of the Fifth Hour with Me and Danny G.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Happy Sunday to you from a secret location, thousands of
miles away from the continental United States, at a tropical paradise.
We recorded this podcast prior to the events of yesterday,
recorded it early in the day on Saturday. The attempt
at Donald Trump's life President Trump, so we will not
(00:31):
be touching that here.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
We are aware of it. Crazy day in US history.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is obviously not a political podcast, so we will
not be talking about it on this edition, but.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
We are aware of it. Just want to let you know.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hope you enjoyed today's podcast. Remember I'll be back on
the radio a little bit later in the week. I've
got a few more nights away and then I will
be back behind the microphones on the Overnight show. But
here is the Fifth Hour with me Big Ben and
my man Danny G Radio kabooms.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill Poppers in the Penthouse. Wow, the Clearinghouse of
Hot Takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(01:25):
with Ben Mallard starts right now.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
In the air Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Big
Ben and Danny g Radio as we slide in to
a Sunday as I am hanging out broadcasting from off
the beaten Path in Casablanca. I'm hanging out in Casablanca,
(01:54):
and oh, what amazing place it is, the Kingdom of
Babylon or Benny On I guess, I guess you call
you king the King of Benyon.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Told me you guys were staying in Catalina. No, no, no, no,
we're not.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
We're not staying in Catlina. We actually decided Sacramento this
time of the year is a wonderful place to visit.
And so we're enjoying Sacramento and we we bought some
coconuts and there's some palm trees over there. We're having
my tie and we're joining beautiful Sacramento.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It's wonderful. So absolutely on.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
This podcast, we've got the pop Quiz. We will have
a hybrid mail bag. Got a few mail bag questions
this week. I was away from my post on the
radio show. So a few questions that we'll get to
and all of that, but let's start Danny with the
fun fact.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I need a fun fact from Ohio. And now, yesterday
I told you you had already met your quota for
the weekend.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Danny, I have a new toy. And when I have
a new toy, I am going to enjoy the new toy.
I'm going to enjoy my toy. I like the toy.
It's it's my birthday and I'm gonna unwrap the toy again.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I choked on this one last time.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
And we thank you Ohio. Al at that beach boys
vibe for the summer. So the Eiffel Tower. Have you
ever been to the Eiffel Tower in Vegas? Yes, that's
the fin that my friend. I have a couple of
friends who are in Europe on vacation, and then they'll
(03:22):
send me for I think I talked about this last
week on the podcast. But they'll send me photos of
different places in Europe. I've seen that, you know, that's
at the Bellagio. You know that's uh whatever, and so
it's uh.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's it's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
The guy was in Venice at the canals in Venice,
and I was like, oh, I've seen that's a hotel
the guy, the guy with the red hat or whatever
at the hotel in Vegas. Anyway, the the Eiffel Tower.
Fun fact, it actually gets taller in the summer. Yeah,
when when the weather is warmer, the metal, yeah, metal
(03:58):
objects get bigger. It's called thermal expansion, which basically means,
in layman terms, the heat causes materials like metal.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's huge, really big metal cock.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
It's not phallous at this point, it's standing standing tall.
So because of this, the Eiffel Tower, it grows during
the summer. It can grow up to that's weel terminology,
up to five point nine inches taller insert your own
joke right there. Ah, but five point nine inches taller
(04:32):
during the summer than it is the rest of the year.
And but wait, there's more. The tower tilts away from
the sun when the weather gets really hot, so it's
it's a leaning tower of Parie. Now the sun only
shines on one side of the Eiffel Tower, which means
it is not balanced on all four sides. As a result,
(04:56):
we are told that it also leans up to again
five point nine inches in one direction, so it grows
by almost six inches and it leans almost six inches.
I think there's a pill you can take for that
second part.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't know. There's some kind of lean with it,
rock with it, lean with it.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It's probably an advertiser that we have that we can
get to help you with that and work in the
gym and in the bedroom. There's my fun fact all
about the Eiffel Tower. All right, so let's get to
the mail bag, Danny, and then we will have a
nice big long pop quiz A file thirteen pop quiz.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, but we've got the mail bag first. You ready
for that. Let's go yet again.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Ohioo, it's.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
All right, thank you, ohiool.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Message from Alf from a desert island, he says, Ben,
did you extend the same courtesy to Coop and not
tell him that you were going on vacation? Well, great question, al,
thank you. I hope you enjoy your vacation, have a
fine time. Wherever the great Alf goes, I think Alf
goes somewhere out and outer space. That's his comfort zone,
his happy place out there, far far away. But for me,
(06:28):
as I hang out here in Maybury on the Andy
Riffiths show, that old TV show. But no, I did
not give Coop the same courtesy of not telling him.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I informed him.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And even if I hadn't informed him, it didn't matter
because my friend Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie Fratto has
been filling in for me a little bit. There have
been a couple of people filling in for me, but
Bernie reached out to Cooper, Loop and others with questions
about the show, so that normally does not happen, Danny.
(07:02):
It's normally when you have a fill in show, you
kind of wait till the last minute. But that's how
precise our guy Bernie is. So even if I tried
to hide from Coop and Lorena that I was taking
time off and be a schmuck, it didn't matter because
Bernie had stolen my thunder and reached out to them.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So they are man well aware that I've been gone
here anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Steven South Carolina right's in. He says, hey, Ben and Danny,
I saw this story. I thought of you guys. The
US has introduced AI powered bullet vending machines and they
say this is very popular.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Are you intrigued by this? Well, yeah, look at the
street that we're located on it FSR.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Now, can you can you buy as many bullets as
you want? Is there a limonar? I've always argued the
gun people, the people that want to get rid of guns,
and I'm like, I don't own a gun, but I
support people to have guns, because if you get rid
of guns, if you make guns illegal, only the bad
guys have the guns, which is I don't think is
a great idea. But that's a different debate, not for
the show. But the point is we got a rating
(08:09):
up to four point nine. Stop ruining it. Well, the
whole the whole lines about your gun. Isn't the bullet
the thing that actually kills people, not the gun when
you think about it, the thing that is the bullet? Right,
that's a third round anyway. So yeah, I've not spent
much time thinking is it Steve Here in South Carolina,
I've got spent much time thinking about bullet vending machines.
(08:30):
But is that like in the front of Walmart or
like where would those be?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What business would put a bullet vending machine in the
front of the business. I'm gonna have my gumball machine
over here. I'm going to have what. I have a
little toys over here, and then maybe some cactus coolers
and then I'll have the vending machine. But yeah, that
is that is wild nuts.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I just clicked on a story here.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It says gun owners in Alabama, Oklahoma, and Texas can
buy ammunition from automated AMMO retail machines anytime they want
AI power machines.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's like getting getting a soda pop. Wow.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All right, So this is only in a few southern
southern states. So this is not and I don't think
it's in South Carolina? Is it not in South Carolina?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Steve? You live there anyway?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Kevin in Nashville writes in he says, hey, Ben, are
you on the hawk to a girls train?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Are you? Are you?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I don't know that's the right way to say. Are
you a fan of a hawk tour? Here? By the way,
her best friend from the video has also gone viral,
and there are people on the Internet that said that
she is prettier. What do you guys say, Kevin in Nashville,
(09:56):
isn't just like that Gilligan's Island thing, Ginger.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Marianne, Not really? Because I think the reason Hawktua girl
caught fire the way she did is there's kind of
like an innocence to her, even though she's being raunchy
with her words. Yeah, and I don't know if her
friend comes off that way. I haven't seen the full
long video that was released with her friend on it,
(10:20):
just a short clip of Hawktua girl. She's kind of
like girl next door, and I think that's what makes
her appealing.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But the friend was trying to tell her to stop
saying what she was saying. I wasn't a friend in
the background, like what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
In the short yeah, she's like, oh, like laughing and
reacting to it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, yeah, all right, Well, I understand she's made a
lot of money. I saw that story the other day
that she's sold over seventy thousand dollars of merchandise.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, she signed some contracts for representation and yeah, she's
got that merch going with the hat company, and so
she's doing well for herself already. And we'll see what
comes of it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, it's the whole Is it a fad or is
it a trend? Well, it would appear to be a fad,
but you can make a fair amount of money and
five years from hour, two years from hour a year
from now to be like, hey, I'm I'm the old
Hawk to.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
A Girl and when people already made bumper stickers out
of her. So it's pretty amazing how she became an
overnight phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, and it was she was part of like a
YouTube show which I'd never even heard of.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, the Tim and d TV show. Yeah, I can
get those guys on the horn for you if you
want to interview them.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Your big fans of there were no.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I was trying to get a hold of Hawk to
a Girl when she first blew up, and I went
through those guys and they're like, oh, she's not available
right now, but we do have her contact info because
she we had to clear, you know, her being on
the show. As soon as she's available, we'll get her on.
In the meantime, you could interview us and oh of
course yeah, And I was like, yeah, I don't think
(11:57):
Covino and Rich want to talk to you. Yeah, that's
the price of admission.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Maybe we'll get her on, but yeah, meantime we know
that game, right.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Back when I did daytime radio, it was like all right,
so we want to talk, we want to interview, you know,
I'll just use a random like Barry Bonds. Okay, but
you have to interview the backup catcher because he needs
to do an interview.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I don't want to talk to him. I'm not interested
in that guy.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Now, Yeah, you got to interview Matt Williams and Chilie
Davis to get a will Clark interview. Well, I'd rather
talk to Chili Davis.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
But anyway, all right. The next email Zach the Zach
Attack bartender Zach from Ohio, friend of the show, and
he has an interesting story he wanted to share with us.
He says, my wife and I have been married for
only four months. However, we've been together since twenty fifteen,
so that's you know, they've been almost.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Common law marriage there, but they're actual legally married. He says.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
My lovely lady is.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
A twin, but then.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
She is a fan of the show as well. God
bless her, and Zach says, being a closing bartender, our
spare room is totally blacked out. She works AM, I
work PM. That's like what I have most of.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
The time, Zach.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
My wife lately she's been working at night, but her
big stretches of the time she works the day shift.
So anyways, Zach says, he works the PM, she works
the AM. And he says that because of this, she
did not tell him that her identical twin was coming
to stay at the house this particular day. Zach also
(13:38):
wants you to know that he sleeps buck naked, so
he was sent to the dark room an hour after
he got home. He was a little hilarious, a little tired,
and all that zonked out from a busy night at
the bar.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
He says.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
He goes into the the bedroom, into the normal bedroom,
not the dark room, to get some name spray, and
I see, he says. He says, I I saw the
the way he discovered like a silhouette of his wife
right there, and uh, she screamed, and uh put a
(14:17):
towel on. She yelled at it at Zach, I said,
I think it's too late. Uh, And then he says
it gets worse next week. So I guess he the
way I I read that he went to get the
nasal spray. He thought he saw his wife playing with
his dog. However, it was the doppelganger. The twin pops
(14:37):
out of the bathroom waving her arms above his head,
and then his wife says put on the towel. So yeah,
how about that. That's uh, that's wild, that's not really
on you, right?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
You and there? I assume they're identical twins.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Otherwise it wouldn't be who cares right, wouldn't be that
big a story.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I can't wait to hear the rest.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I think catch how many boobs I sell today?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Oh, we'll find out next week. Inquiring minds want to know,
Same Zach time, Same Zach station. Coming to the podcast
next week. Jay from Florida, Good luck Zach. Jay from
Florida writes and says, hey, Ben and Danny, we know
you hate veggies. Ben, so I saw this week that pumpkins, avocados,
and tomatoes are actually fruits. Does that mean you are
(15:26):
You're a fan of them? You will eat them? Ben,
says Jay from somewhere in Florida. It's kind of a
big state, Jay, so let's go point by point here
on the big board. Pumpkins. I used to eat pumpkin
seeds because my mom would tell me it's like the
great thing when you cut carba pumpkin. I'll eat pumpkin pie,
(15:46):
but only on Thanksgiving or Halloween. So other than that,
I don't eat pumpkin. I only eat ketchup. I don't
eat tomatoes, and I don't eat avocado because I don't
like the texture of avocado, so I don't eat that.
So the only one I will eat is pumpkin. Danny,
are you a big avocado pumpkin?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Tomato? Guy? I love avocado, especially with salt on it.
I love guak too. The problem is people chop up
tomatoes and put fresh tomatoes in a lot of wacamole.
I'm allergic to fresh tomatoes. So if you've ever seen
Eddie Murphy and the Nutty Professor, that's what happens to
me if I eat a fresh tomato.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I would like to point out I am also allergic
to tomatoes when I look at them, and mushrooms. I'm
allergic to mushrooms as well, all of them. I really
am allergic to tomatoes, though, you know. I try to
tell my kindergarten teacher this. When it was like a
snack day and they were having us make breakfast sandwiches,
and she cut a big wedge of tomato and put
it on my breakfast sandwich, and I begged and pleaded
(16:45):
with her not to have me eat a tomato because
I was allergic.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No, no, no, no, you just don't want to eat
your veggies, she said, And she made me take a
bite of it and I puked all over her puma shoe.
That's what she gets.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I've not heard of the tomatoes. I got the peanut
thing I've for, Like, you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Is that a common allergy tomatoes?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I don't think so. But what I'm actually allergic to
is folic acid. Tomatoes are chalked full of folic acid.
What other foods are filled with that? Assid nothing to
that level. Like I think I read somewhere the tomatoes
have the most folic acid. Let me check here.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
This is the big board of folic acid foods.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And you know, I've never been able to take a
multi vitamin because they have a lot of folic acid
in them, so I have to take vitamins separately, which
is a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, that does suck,
it says legumes. Legomes there. You have no idea what
that is?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Sparagus?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
You asparagus only in tiny quantities, so yeah, like you know,
when they'll give you a side of the sparagus with
like a steak or maybe like, eat one or two
of them and push the rest to the side of
the plate.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
It says eggs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Anything with eggs interesting. Eggs, don't bother me.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Leafy greens. One cup of raw spinach provides fifty eight
point two mcg.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Of I believe what you're you're trying to avoid.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm Brussels sprouts around here, citrus fruits. There's a lot
of stuff on here, but I guess tomato is the
one that messages.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, tomatoes the one that messes with me. Pumpkins are great,
especially pumpkin seeds right around Halloween time. Speaking of teachers,
did they ever do the thing where they put the
tray of tinfoil with the pumpkin seeds on there? Put
them in? Yeah? Yeah, those are so good.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yep, that's that's a regular traditional move back in the
old days, back in the Bronze Age when.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
We were growing up, that was a big thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I have some other email, but I want to get
to the pop quiz. Can we get to the pop quiz?
I want to make sure we get all thirteen questions.
I'm gonna grade you, Danny on all unless I don't
on the We'll get as many as we can. We
haven't done this in a long time. By popular demand.
You give the people what they want. The listener is
always right. You taught me that, Danny, when I used
(19:10):
to listen to you on radio when I was a kid.
The listener is always right. And so here we go.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Here, I heard you on Dodger Talk when I was
a kid, not at all, all right, that would be
a lie.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
All right, So these are actual random things we found
around the internet. We will quiz Danny. G you listening,
can play along. We call that the home version of
the game. And it's absolutely free. And here we go.
The first one up. Five percent of smartphone users admit
that they have accidentally done this. What is it, Danny,
(19:46):
drop their phone in the toilet. You're actually pretty close.
I'm gonna give you half credit, all right. They have
washed their phone with the laundry in the Washington.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Machine, right, So it involved putting it in water.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, it did involve water. I'll give you that one.
Next up, thirteen percent of us have this physical talent.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
By the way, it is a superpower that I have.
I own this talent. I have this ability. It is genetic.
I got it from my father. I want to thank
my old man, Pops, the patriarch of the mall Or family.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
How many, how many? What's the percentage?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Thirteen percent of people have this physical talent. You can
bend all the way over and touch your chin to
your balls. I am not as incorrect wiggling our ears
a wiggle wiggle. I can do it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, you freak.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I have that power. There's no way to monetize it.
But I can wiggle my ears. I can do one
at a time. I can do both at the same time.
I can do tricks. That's my power. Thirteen percent. Kind
of tricks could he do with that? Well, that's a
that's a different podcast. But thirteen I'm in the thirteen percent,
not the one percent. I'm in the thirteen percent. I
gotta remember that percent of circus freaks. I got to
(21:01):
add that to my lexicon. I'm in the thirteen percent
that have a physical gift.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
So you can either dunk a basketball like Lebron James
or Michael Jordan. You can be a physical freak of
nature like Yao Ming or Shaquille O'Neal or someone like that,
or some NFL player, or you can wiggle your ears.
My power wiggling of the ears. I am such a
radio loser moving on nearly ninety percent of American families
(21:30):
by one of these every week. This blows me away.
By the way, this blows me away, ninety percent of
American families by one of these every single week?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
What is it? A bottle of lube? Close? But no?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
How about a pie? A pie was always rare and
appropriate at the mallor house.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
It was like a big event in the classic movie
American Pie of the Pie.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
That's incredible over that I should get credit, all right,
I'll give you a credit your two of three. Oh
in this one time at van camp, I stuck a fleet.
But yeah, like the pie. My mom would bake pies occasionally,
but it was like for birthdays or like a fourth
of July are Thanksgiving, we'd have pie. But every week
(22:20):
getting pie? Doesn't that diminish the pie? Isn't the pie
not special? That boggles my mind? You would you would
demote pie? Pie is supposed to be a special thing,
Like I don't get cakes and pie are not every
week consumption. It's rare and appropriate.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It's the fault of the markets and the bakery shoving
that stuff in our faces all the time. That is true.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
All right, Just over half of us say that. We
may not do this every time we go to the
grocery store, but we do it quite often. Ride the
rocket out front that takes quarters. That is correct, unless
it is not, Unless it's not give to charity.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
At the register. Yeah, I do not. That's a big scam.
I don't. I don't round up. I don't round down.
I don't. I don't believe in that. And you know
what I round up. When Taco bell says your total
is four dollars and ninety cents, would you like to
donate ten cents to a student? Well, yeah, that's cool.
You don't need the ten cents back, you know, you're
(23:21):
good on that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
But now, especially the self check We talked about this
on the podcast before, but the self checkout thing, where
you're doing all the work. You're going into the store,
you're doing all you're picking all the groceries. You're then
going standing online, you're then checking out, you're check you're
you're scanning the items, which I'm fine with.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I don't mind that. But you're doing all the work. Yeah,
you should be paid. You should get the tip, you
should be on payroll.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Exactly, and then before you put your credit card in,
they're like, would you like to donate the you know,
the sick, dying children of some far away land somewhere
out in the cosmos. I'm like, I'm good, I'm all right.
I'll donate the charity on my own terms, on my
own terms.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
All right.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Moving on a new study. New study says sixty percent
of people say this is a serious issue that many
restaurants need to address.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
What is it, Danny, sixty percent? Oh, this is easy. Cockroaches.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Only if you're a Denny's in the San Fernando Valley
that closed twenty years ago and still has an infestation
of cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, the we why don't we get like the bugman
to come out or something like that.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
We we made a cockroach jingle from Ohio.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Al oh see, now you're now you're gonna get another toy.
The cock roaches. The cock roaches.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Cock.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Cock rocha, la cococha. You can't even say it. You
can't even say it. Man, all right, very very good. Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
But the answer, by the way, is that sixty percent
of people say sixty percent of people say the they're
too loud, the.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Restaurants are too loud. Ah, Are you one of.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Those people yet, Danny? Are we at the age now?
Are we old enough where we complain it's too loud?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Or as long as they are paying attention to your table,
they can have their restaurant as loud as they want. Yeah,
all right.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Uh, let's see here. This is more likely to happen
to men than women here in the summer.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
What is it getting pants at the pool?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Getting pants at the pool? Is that correct? No, that
is incorrect, damn it. The correct answer is getting bit
by a mosquito.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Close. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And I would like to point out here, and I
don't think I've ever talked about this before on the
on the Big Show, but I would like to tell
you right now that this is something in my life
that I wish it was a little different. I wish
a little different, but it's not. When I was a
single guy and I was out and about, you know,
(25:56):
doing my thing, and women found me very unaty. But
mosquitoes find me very attractive.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Mosquitoes always want to play foot see with me. They
want to go right to the bedroom. They look at me, mosquitos,
and I'm a dream boat for mosquitos. They go VavaVoom
when they see me, Danny. So they've always been attracted me.
It must be my blood, Danny, it's gotta be my blood.
They love my blood.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I hear the same thing from my better half. She's like,
it's my blood, that's why they love me.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well, yeah, but you should let the lady there, No,
let the wife know that yet again, though men more
likely than women to be bit how about that, So
she's a rare camp there.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, yeah, all.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Right, thirty, we'll do a couple more and we'll get out.
I have things to do, Danny. As you know, this
is not I'm not getting paid for this. It's my love,
my infatuation with the podcast.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
So this one.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Thirty four percent of people say they cannot make this
meal with out a recipe. Lasagna. No, that actually would
make some level or sense. Toast what, yeah, let's see,
let's see, put some butter on the toest. What or
maybe you don't even put the butter. You wait till
after the thing's cooked and then you put the butter on.
But either way, it doesn't matter if you put it
(27:18):
in the toaster. I mean you pop it up and
you ate it, you dummies morons?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Wait, did he need a recipe for that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Thirty four percent of people say they cannot make toasts
without a recipe.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That doesn't even make sense. There's no recipes for toast.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
This is great for us, though, Danny, because it's wonderful.
Because it's good for us. There's a lot of dumb
people out there.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So are they so dumb that they can't download podcasts? Though?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I have no comment on that. Our last one day
to last one naval and marine engineers are trying to
figure out right now why this can be so painful
when humans do it, but not to animals. It is, Danny,
a pool sinky stuck in their butt? How about a
(28:08):
belly flop? A belly flop? Oh, I was, I should
get half credit, that's all right. Pool related. You want
me to grade on a curve? Is what you want
me to do? I know what you do. We'll get
out on that. It is Sunday. I will be away
from the watchtower overnight. A couple more days away from that,
as I head back from the far far away destination,
(28:30):
secret location. I'll be back a couple of days from now,
So a couple more nights with.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You mean San Francisco, that's where you said you are
with your wife right now.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, I'm hanging out in the tender Loin District one
and hanging out there. Have a great time. Danny, Are
you on vacation?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
What do you got going on here? Way? So, yeah,
So we are packing currently right now, not for a
quick San Diego turnaround, but for my week off with
Coveno and rich being off as well. We're going to
go camping. My in laws do an annual camping trip
in Morro Bay, California, for a week during every summer.
(29:05):
They camp right there on the beach overlooking the rock.
I love Moro Bay.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
It's a great place to go and you can hang
out there and you can see that that that's where
the nuclear power thing is.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You can see that too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, it's like it looks like it out of the Simpsons.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
It's romantic.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You can those otters. There's always a big thing waters
right and stingrays. Yeah, sting rays as well. It's it's great.
You can tattle board if you want. You can go
in the water or just stay in the campground.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
We'll go on the little boats to fish on the water.
And yeah, and usually you pull stingrays up instead of fish. Yeah,
and moral rock.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
When I was there, they said it was a giant
like it was volcanic remains right, that's from a volcano.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
All right, have a wonderful week again. I'll be back
in a few days there.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, you're vegan and a friend will be with you
next week.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
All right, Ali, So you have any vegan questions, you
can send them into the next week's mail bag A
real fifth hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour
at gmail dot com. Have a great rest of your day.
We'll catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Unplug and enjoy yourself. Aloha, mahalo gott a murder. I
gotta go.
Greetings.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
It is I Big Ben and this the latest edition
of the Fifth Hour with Me and Danny G.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Happy Sunday to you from a secret location, thousands of
miles away from the continental United States, at a tropical paradise.
We recorded this podcast prior to the events of yesterday,
recorded it early in the day on Saturday. The attempt
at Donald Trump's life President Trump, so we will not
(00:31):
be touching that here.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
We are aware of it. Crazy day in US history.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
This is obviously not a political podcast, so we will
not be talking about it on this edition, but.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
We are aware of it. Just want to let you know.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Hope you enjoyed today's podcast. Remember I'll be back on
the radio a little bit later in the week. I've
got a few more nights away and then I will
be back behind the microphones on the Overnight show. But
here is the Fifth Hour with me Big Ben and
my man Danny G Radio kabooms.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
rich pill Poppers in the Penthouse. Wow, the Clearinghouse of
Hot Takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
(01:25):
with Ben Mallard starts right now.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
In the air Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Big
Ben and Danny g Radio as we slide in to
a Sunday as I am hanging out broadcasting from off
the beaten Path in Casablanca. I'm hanging out in Casablanca,
(01:54):
and oh, what amazing place it is, the Kingdom of
Babylon or Benny On I guess, I guess you call
you king the King of Benyon.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Told me you guys were staying in Catalina. No, no, no, no,
we're not.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
We're not staying in Catlina. We actually decided Sacramento this
time of the year is a wonderful place to visit.
And so we're enjoying Sacramento and we we bought some
coconuts and there's some palm trees over there. We're having
my tie and we're joining beautiful Sacramento.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It's wonderful. So absolutely on.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
This podcast, we've got the pop Quiz. We will have
a hybrid mail bag. Got a few mail bag questions
this week. I was away from my post on the
radio show. So a few questions that we'll get to
and all of that, but let's start Danny with the
fun fact.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I need a fun fact from Ohio. And now, yesterday
I told you you had already met your quota for
the weekend.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Danny, I have a new toy. And when I have
a new toy, I am going to enjoy the new toy.
I'm going to enjoy my toy. I like the toy.
It's it's my birthday and I'm gonna unwrap the toy again.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I choked on this one last time.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
And we thank you Ohio. Al at that beach boys
vibe for the summer. So the Eiffel Tower. Have you
ever been to the Eiffel Tower in Vegas? Yes, that's
the fin that my friend. I have a couple of
friends who are in Europe on vacation, and then they'll
(03:22):
send me for I think I talked about this last
week on the podcast. But they'll send me photos of
different places in Europe. I've seen that, you know, that's
at the Bellagio. You know that's uh whatever, and so
it's uh.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
It's it's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
The guy was in Venice at the canals in Venice,
and I was like, oh, I've seen that's a hotel
the guy, the guy with the red hat or whatever
at the hotel in Vegas. Anyway, the the Eiffel Tower.
Fun fact, it actually gets taller in the summer. Yeah,
when when the weather is warmer, the metal, yeah, metal
(03:58):
objects get bigger. It's called thermal expansion, which basically means,
in layman terms, the heat causes materials like metal.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's huge, really big metal cock.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
It's not phallous at this point, it's standing standing tall.
So because of this, the Eiffel Tower, it grows during
the summer. It can grow up to that's weel terminology,
up to five point nine inches taller insert your own
joke right there. Ah, but five point nine inches taller
(04:32):
during the summer than it is the rest of the year.
And but wait, there's more. The tower tilts away from
the sun when the weather gets really hot, so it's
it's a leaning tower of Parie. Now the sun only
shines on one side of the Eiffel Tower, which means
it is not balanced on all four sides. As a result,
(04:56):
we are told that it also leans up to again
five point nine inches in one direction, so it grows
by almost six inches and it leans almost six inches.
I think there's a pill you can take for that
second part.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
I don't know. There's some kind of lean with it,
rock with it, lean with it.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
It's probably an advertiser that we have that we can
get to help you with that and work in the
gym and in the bedroom. There's my fun fact all
about the Eiffel Tower. All right, so let's get to
the mail bag, Danny, and then we will have a
nice big long pop quiz A file thirteen pop quiz.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, but we've got the mail bag first. You ready
for that. Let's go yet again.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Ohioo, it's.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
All right, thank you, ohiool.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Message from Alf from a desert island, he says, Ben,
did you extend the same courtesy to Coop and not
tell him that you were going on vacation? Well, great question, al,
thank you. I hope you enjoy your vacation, have a
fine time. Wherever the great Alf goes, I think Alf
goes somewhere out and outer space. That's his comfort zone,
his happy place out there, far far away. But for me,
(06:28):
as I hang out here in Maybury on the Andy
Riffiths show, that old TV show. But no, I did
not give Coop the same courtesy of not telling him.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I informed him.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
And even if I hadn't informed him, it didn't matter
because my friend Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie Bernie Fratto has
been filling in for me a little bit. There have
been a couple of people filling in for me, but
Bernie reached out to Cooper, Loop and others with questions
about the show, so that normally does not happen, Danny.
(07:02):
It's normally when you have a fill in show, you
kind of wait till the last minute. But that's how
precise our guy Bernie is. So even if I tried
to hide from Coop and Lorena that I was taking
time off and be a schmuck, it didn't matter because
Bernie had stolen my thunder and reached out to them.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
So they are man well aware that I've been gone
here anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Steven South Carolina right's in. He says, hey, Ben and Danny,
I saw this story. I thought of you guys. The
US has introduced AI powered bullet vending machines and they
say this is very popular.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Are you intrigued by this? Well, yeah, look at the
street that we're located on it FSR.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Now, can you can you buy as many bullets as
you want? Is there a limonar? I've always argued the
gun people, the people that want to get rid of guns,
and I'm like, I don't own a gun, but I
support people to have guns, because if you get rid
of guns, if you make guns illegal, only the bad
guys have the guns, which is I don't think is
a great idea. But that's a different debate, not for
the show. But the point is we got a rating
(08:09):
up to four point nine. Stop ruining it. Well, the
whole the whole lines about your gun. Isn't the bullet
the thing that actually kills people, not the gun when
you think about it, the thing that is the bullet? Right,
that's a third round anyway. So yeah, I've not spent
much time thinking is it Steve Here in South Carolina,
I've got spent much time thinking about bullet vending machines.
(08:30):
But is that like in the front of Walmart or
like where would those be?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What business would put a bullet vending machine in the
front of the business. I'm gonna have my gumball machine
over here. I'm going to have what. I have a
little toys over here, and then maybe some cactus coolers
and then I'll have the vending machine. But yeah, that
is that is wild nuts.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I just clicked on a story here.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It says gun owners in Alabama, Oklahoma, and Texas can
buy ammunition from automated AMMO retail machines anytime they want
AI power machines.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
It's like getting getting a soda pop. Wow.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All right, So this is only in a few southern
southern states. So this is not and I don't think
it's in South Carolina? Is it not in South Carolina?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Steve? You live there anyway?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Kevin in Nashville writes in he says, hey, Ben, are
you on the hawk to a girls train?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Are you? Are you?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I don't know that's the right way to say. Are
you a fan of a hawk tour? Here? By the way,
her best friend from the video has also gone viral,
and there are people on the Internet that said that
she is prettier. What do you guys say, Kevin in Nashville,
(09:56):
isn't just like that Gilligan's Island thing, Ginger.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Marianne, Not really? Because I think the reason Hawktua girl
caught fire the way she did is there's kind of
like an innocence to her, even though she's being raunchy
with her words. Yeah, and I don't know if her
friend comes off that way. I haven't seen the full
long video that was released with her friend on it,
(10:20):
just a short clip of Hawktua girl. She's kind of
like girl next door, and I think that's what makes
her appealing.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
But the friend was trying to tell her to stop
saying what she was saying. I wasn't a friend in
the background, like what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
In the short yeah, she's like, oh, like laughing and
reacting to it.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, yeah, all right, Well, I understand she's made a
lot of money. I saw that story the other day
that she's sold over seventy thousand dollars of merchandise.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, she signed some contracts for representation and yeah, she's
got that merch going with the hat company, and so
she's doing well for herself already. And we'll see what
comes of it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, it's the whole Is it a fad or is
it a trend? Well, it would appear to be a fad,
but you can make a fair amount of money and
five years from hour, two years from hour a year
from now to be like, hey, I'm I'm the old
Hawk to.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
A Girl and when people already made bumper stickers out
of her. So it's pretty amazing how she became an
overnight phenomenon.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah, and it was she was part of like a
YouTube show which I'd never even heard of.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, the Tim and d TV show. Yeah, I can
get those guys on the horn for you if you
want to interview them.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Your big fans of there were no.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I was trying to get a hold of Hawk to
a Girl when she first blew up, and I went
through those guys and they're like, oh, she's not available
right now, but we do have her contact info because
she we had to clear, you know, her being on
the show. As soon as she's available, we'll get her on.
In the meantime, you could interview us and oh of
course yeah, And I was like, yeah, I don't think
(11:57):
Covino and Rich want to talk to you. Yeah, that's
the price of admission.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Maybe we'll get her on, but yeah, meantime we know
that game, right.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Back when I did daytime radio, it was like all right,
so we want to talk, we want to interview, you know,
I'll just use a random like Barry Bonds. Okay, but
you have to interview the backup catcher because he needs
to do an interview.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I don't want to talk to him. I'm not interested
in that guy.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Now, Yeah, you got to interview Matt Williams and Chilie
Davis to get a will Clark interview. Well, I'd rather
talk to Chili Davis.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
But anyway, all right. The next email Zach the Zach
Attack bartender Zach from Ohio, friend of the show, and
he has an interesting story he wanted to share with us.
He says, my wife and I have been married for
only four months. However, we've been together since twenty fifteen,
so that's you know, they've been almost.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Common law marriage there, but they're actual legally married. He says.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
My lovely lady is.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
A twin, but then.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
She is a fan of the show as well. God
bless her, and Zach says, being a closing bartender, our
spare room is totally blacked out. She works AM, I
work PM. That's like what I have most of.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
The time, Zach.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
My wife lately she's been working at night, but her
big stretches of the time she works the day shift.
So anyways, Zach says, he works the PM, she works
the AM. And he says that because of this, she
did not tell him that her identical twin was coming
to stay at the house this particular day. Zach also
(13:38):
wants you to know that he sleeps buck naked, so
he was sent to the dark room an hour after
he got home. He was a little hilarious, a little tired,
and all that zonked out from a busy night at
the bar.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
He says.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
He goes into the the bedroom, into the normal bedroom,
not the dark room, to get some name spray, and
I see, he says. He says, I I saw the
the way he discovered like a silhouette of his wife
right there, and uh, she screamed, and uh put a
(14:17):
towel on. She yelled at it at Zach, I said,
I think it's too late. Uh, And then he says
it gets worse next week. So I guess he the
way I I read that he went to get the
nasal spray. He thought he saw his wife playing with
his dog. However, it was the doppelganger. The twin pops
(14:37):
out of the bathroom waving her arms above his head,
and then his wife says put on the towel. So yeah,
how about that. That's uh, that's wild, that's not really
on you, right?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
You and there? I assume they're identical twins.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Otherwise it wouldn't be who cares right, wouldn't be that
big a story.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I can't wait to hear the rest.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I think catch how many boobs I sell today?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Oh, we'll find out next week. Inquiring minds want to know,
Same Zach time, Same Zach station. Coming to the podcast
next week. Jay from Florida, Good luck Zach. Jay from
Florida writes and says, hey, Ben and Danny, we know
you hate veggies. Ben, so I saw this week that pumpkins, avocados,
and tomatoes are actually fruits. Does that mean you are
(15:26):
You're a fan of them? You will eat them? Ben,
says Jay from somewhere in Florida. It's kind of a
big state, Jay, so let's go point by point here
on the big board. Pumpkins. I used to eat pumpkin
seeds because my mom would tell me it's like the
great thing when you cut carba pumpkin. I'll eat pumpkin pie,
(15:46):
but only on Thanksgiving or Halloween. So other than that,
I don't eat pumpkin. I only eat ketchup. I don't
eat tomatoes, and I don't eat avocado because I don't
like the texture of avocado, so I don't eat that.
So the only one I will eat is pumpkin. Danny,
are you a big avocado pumpkin?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Tomato? Guy? I love avocado, especially with salt on it.
I love guak too. The problem is people chop up
tomatoes and put fresh tomatoes in a lot of wacamole.
I'm allergic to fresh tomatoes. So if you've ever seen
Eddie Murphy and the Nutty Professor, that's what happens to
me if I eat a fresh tomato.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I would like to point out I am also allergic
to tomatoes when I look at them, and mushrooms. I'm
allergic to mushrooms as well, all of them. I really
am allergic to tomatoes, though, you know. I try to
tell my kindergarten teacher this. When it was like a
snack day and they were having us make breakfast sandwiches,
and she cut a big wedge of tomato and put
it on my breakfast sandwich, and I begged and pleaded
(16:45):
with her not to have me eat a tomato because
I was allergic.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
No, no, no, no, you just don't want to eat
your veggies, she said, And she made me take a
bite of it and I puked all over her puma shoe.
That's what she gets.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I've not heard of the tomatoes. I got the peanut
thing I've for, Like, you know what it is?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
That?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Is that a common allergy tomatoes?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I don't think so. But what I'm actually allergic to
is folic acid. Tomatoes are chalked full of folic acid.
What other foods are filled with that? Assid nothing to
that level. Like I think I read somewhere the tomatoes
have the most folic acid. Let me check here.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
This is the big board of folic acid foods.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
And you know, I've never been able to take a
multi vitamin because they have a lot of folic acid
in them, so I have to take vitamins separately, which
is a pain in the ass. Oh yeah, that does suck,
it says legumes. Legomes there. You have no idea what
that is?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Sparagus?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
You asparagus only in tiny quantities, so yeah, like you know,
when they'll give you a side of the sparagus with
like a steak or maybe like, eat one or two
of them and push the rest to the side of
the plate.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
It says eggs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Anything with eggs interesting. Eggs, don't bother me.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Leafy greens. One cup of raw spinach provides fifty eight
point two mcg.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Of I believe what you're you're trying to avoid.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
I'm Brussels sprouts around here, citrus fruits. There's a lot
of stuff on here, but I guess tomato is the
one that messages.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, tomatoes the one that messes with me. Pumpkins are great,
especially pumpkin seeds right around Halloween time. Speaking of teachers,
did they ever do the thing where they put the
tray of tinfoil with the pumpkin seeds on there? Put
them in? Yeah? Yeah, those are so good.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yep, that's that's a regular traditional move back in the
old days, back in the Bronze Age when.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
We were growing up, that was a big thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
I have some other email, but I want to get
to the pop quiz. Can we get to the pop quiz?
I want to make sure we get all thirteen questions.
I'm gonna grade you, Danny on all unless I don't
on the We'll get as many as we can. We
haven't done this in a long time. By popular demand.
You give the people what they want. The listener is
always right. You taught me that, Danny, when I used
(19:10):
to listen to you on radio when I was a kid.
The listener is always right. And so here we go.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Here, I heard you on Dodger Talk when I was
a kid, not at all, all right, that would be
a lie.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
All right, So these are actual random things we found
around the internet. We will quiz Danny. G you listening,
can play along. We call that the home version of
the game. And it's absolutely free. And here we go.
The first one up. Five percent of smartphone users admit
that they have accidentally done this. What is it, Danny,
(19:46):
drop their phone in the toilet. You're actually pretty close.
I'm gonna give you half credit, all right. They have
washed their phone with the laundry in the Washington.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Machine, right, So it involved putting it in water.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah, it did involve water. I'll give you that one.
Next up, thirteen percent of us have this physical talent.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
By the way, it is a superpower that I have.
I own this talent. I have this ability. It is genetic.
I got it from my father. I want to thank
my old man, Pops, the patriarch of the mall Or family.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
How many, how many? What's the percentage?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Thirteen percent of people have this physical talent. You can
bend all the way over and touch your chin to
your balls. I am not as incorrect wiggling our ears
a wiggle wiggle. I can do it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, you freak.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I have that power. There's no way to monetize it.
But I can wiggle my ears. I can do one
at a time. I can do both at the same time.
I can do tricks. That's my power. Thirteen percent. Kind
of tricks could he do with that? Well, that's a
that's a different podcast. But thirteen I'm in the thirteen percent,
not the one percent. I'm in the thirteen percent. I
gotta remember that percent of circus freaks. I got to
(21:01):
add that to my lexicon. I'm in the thirteen percent
that have a physical gift.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
So you can either dunk a basketball like Lebron James
or Michael Jordan. You can be a physical freak of
nature like Yao Ming or Shaquille O'Neal or someone like that,
or some NFL player, or you can wiggle your ears.
My power wiggling of the ears. I am such a
radio loser moving on nearly ninety percent of American families
(21:30):
by one of these every week. This blows me away.
By the way, this blows me away, ninety percent of
American families by one of these every single week?
Speaker 1 (21:37):
What is it? A bottle of lube? Close? But no?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
How about a pie? A pie was always rare and
appropriate at the mallor house.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
It was like a big event in the classic movie
American Pie of the Pie.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
That's incredible over that I should get credit, all right,
I'll give you a credit your two of three. Oh
in this one time at van camp, I stuck a fleet.
But yeah, like the pie. My mom would bake pies occasionally,
but it was like for birthdays or like a fourth
of July are Thanksgiving, we'd have pie. But every week
(22:20):
getting pie? Doesn't that diminish the pie? Isn't the pie
not special? That boggles my mind? You would you would
demote pie? Pie is supposed to be a special thing,
Like I don't get cakes and pie are not every
week consumption. It's rare and appropriate.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
It's the fault of the markets and the bakery shoving
that stuff in our faces all the time. That is true.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
All right, Just over half of us say that. We
may not do this every time we go to the
grocery store, but we do it quite often. Ride the
rocket out front that takes quarters. That is correct, unless
it is not, Unless it's not give to charity.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
At the register. Yeah, I do not. That's a big scam.
I don't. I don't round up. I don't round down.
I don't. I don't believe in that. And you know
what I round up. When Taco bell says your total
is four dollars and ninety cents, would you like to
donate ten cents to a student? Well, yeah, that's cool.
You don't need the ten cents back, you know, you're
(23:21):
good on that. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
But now, especially the self check We talked about this
on the podcast before, but the self checkout thing, where
you're doing all the work. You're going into the store,
you're doing all you're picking all the groceries. You're then
going standing online, you're then checking out, you're check you're
you're scanning the items, which I'm fine with.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
I don't mind that. But you're doing all the work. Yeah,
you should be paid. You should get the tip, you
should be on payroll.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Exactly, and then before you put your credit card in,
they're like, would you like to donate the you know,
the sick, dying children of some far away land somewhere
out in the cosmos. I'm like, I'm good, I'm all right.
I'll donate the charity on my own terms, on my
own terms.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
All right.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Moving on a new study. New study says sixty percent
of people say this is a serious issue that many
restaurants need to address.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
What is it, Danny, sixty percent? Oh, this is easy. Cockroaches.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Only if you're a Denny's in the San Fernando Valley
that closed twenty years ago and still has an infestation
of cockroaches.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, the we why don't we get like the bugman
to come out or something like that.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
We we made a cockroach jingle from Ohio.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Al oh see, now you're now you're gonna get another toy.
The cock roaches. The cock roaches.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Cock.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
Cock rocha, la cococha. You can't even say it. You
can't even say it. Man, all right, very very good. Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
But the answer, by the way, is that sixty percent
of people say sixty percent of people say the they're
too loud, the.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Restaurants are too loud. Ah, Are you one of.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Those people yet, Danny? Are we at the age now?
Are we old enough where we complain it's too loud?
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Or as long as they are paying attention to your table,
they can have their restaurant as loud as they want. Yeah,
all right.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Uh, let's see here. This is more likely to happen
to men than women here in the summer.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
What is it getting pants at the pool?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Getting pants at the pool? Is that correct? No, that
is incorrect, damn it. The correct answer is getting bit
by a mosquito.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Close. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And I would like to point out here, and I
don't think I've ever talked about this before on the
on the Big Show, but I would like to tell
you right now that this is something in my life
that I wish it was a little different. I wish
a little different, but it's not. When I was a
single guy and I was out and about, you know,
(25:56):
doing my thing, and women found me very unaty. But
mosquitoes find me very attractive.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Mosquitoes always want to play foot see with me. They
want to go right to the bedroom. They look at me, mosquitos,
and I'm a dream boat for mosquitos. They go VavaVoom
when they see me, Danny. So they've always been attracted me.
It must be my blood, Danny, it's gotta be my blood.
They love my blood.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I hear the same thing from my better half. She's like,
it's my blood, that's why they love me.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well, yeah, but you should let the lady there, No,
let the wife know that yet again, though men more
likely than women to be bit how about that, So
she's a rare camp there.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah, yeah, all.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Right, thirty, we'll do a couple more and we'll get out.
I have things to do, Danny. As you know, this
is not I'm not getting paid for this. It's my love,
my infatuation with the podcast.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
So this one.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
Thirty four percent of people say they cannot make this
meal with out a recipe. Lasagna. No, that actually would
make some level or sense. Toast what, yeah, let's see,
let's see, put some butter on the toest. What or
maybe you don't even put the butter. You wait till
after the thing's cooked and then you put the butter on.
But either way, it doesn't matter if you put it
(27:18):
in the toaster. I mean you pop it up and
you ate it, you dummies morons?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Wait, did he need a recipe for that? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Thirty four percent of people say they cannot make toasts
without a recipe.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
That doesn't even make sense. There's no recipes for toast.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
This is great for us, though, Danny, because it's wonderful.
Because it's good for us. There's a lot of dumb
people out there.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
So are they so dumb that they can't download podcasts? Though?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I have no comment on that. Our last one day
to last one naval and marine engineers are trying to
figure out right now why this can be so painful
when humans do it, but not to animals. It is, Danny,
a pool sinky stuck in their butt? How about a
(28:08):
belly flop? A belly flop? Oh, I was, I should
get half credit, that's all right. Pool related. You want
me to grade on a curve? Is what you want
me to do? I know what you do. We'll get
out on that. It is Sunday. I will be away
from the watchtower overnight. A couple more days away from that,
as I head back from the far far away destination,
(28:30):
secret location. I'll be back a couple of days from now,
So a couple more nights with.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
You mean San Francisco, that's where you said you are
with your wife right now.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, I'm hanging out in the tender Loin District one
and hanging out there. Have a great time. Danny, Are
you on vacation?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
What do you got going on here? Way? So, yeah,
So we are packing currently right now, not for a
quick San Diego turnaround, but for my week off with
Coveno and rich being off as well. We're going to
go camping. My in laws do an annual camping trip
in Morro Bay, California, for a week during every summer.
(29:05):
They camp right there on the beach overlooking the rock.
I love Moro Bay.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
It's a great place to go and you can hang
out there and you can see that that that's where
the nuclear power thing is.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
You can see that too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yeah, it's like it looks like it out of the Simpsons.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
It's romantic.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
You can those otters. There's always a big thing waters
right and stingrays. Yeah, sting rays as well. It's it's great.
You can tattle board if you want. You can go
in the water or just stay in the campground.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
We'll go on the little boats to fish on the water.
And yeah, and usually you pull stingrays up instead of fish. Yeah,
and moral rock.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
When I was there, they said it was a giant
like it was volcanic remains right, that's from a volcano.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
All right, have a wonderful week again. I'll be back
in a few days there.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, you're vegan and a friend will be with you
next week.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
All right, Ali, So you have any vegan questions, you
can send them into the next week's mail bag A
real fifth hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour
at gmail dot com. Have a great rest of your day.
We'll catch you next time.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Unplug and enjoy yourself. Aloha, mahalo gott a murder. I
gotta go.
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