May 4, 2024 • 37 mins
Ben Maller & Danny G. have a good Saturday slice for ya! They're talking: May the 4th Be With You, Calling Audible, Lane Block, Mother's Side Burns, Which Was Worse, Idiom of the Week, & more!
...Follow, rate & review "The Fifth Hour!" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fifth-hour-with-ben-maller/id1478163837
Engage with the podcast by emailing us at RealFifthHour@gmail.com ...
Follow Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and on Instagram @BenMallerOnFOX ...
Danny is on Twitter @DannyGRadio and on Instagram @DannyGRadio
#BenMaller #FSRWeekends
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the clearing
House of hot takes, break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the A Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler
and Danny g Radio And welcome to a Saturday, Saturday
Saturday as we hang out together, you and I and
we're together on this Danny all weekend long as we
(00:50):
cut down the time. And a lot of people listen
to this while they're they're doing that Honeydee List on Saturday.
Gotta get up early, take care of the honeydew list.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I one of the Nagy.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, a lot of guys have to deal with that crap.
But it's also if you're a nerd, it's May the
Fourth be with You day today. So all right, now,
you're not a Star Wars guy, right, but no, I
like stars. My mom took me out of school when
I was a kid. For the first couple of Star
Wars movies, like we got online. It was like a
(01:28):
big deal. You know, we ditched school, like you're not
schools to do that. I remember that more than just
a random Wednesday or Thursday at school or whatever. But yeah,
I like the original three. I believe it's been watered down.
It's my take on that, like there's been too many
of them and all that. But yeah I can. Yeah,
I get down with Job of the Hut literally man party.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, it was a big, big event as a kid
when a Star Wars movie would come out. I remember
when Return of the Jedi came out in the theater
and we stood in line as kids to get in
to see that movie. And you know, my parents. I
remember my mom and stepdad and aunt and cousins. Everybody
had so much fun watching that movie at the theater.
(02:13):
And then as soon as the theater let out, everybody
in the family started fighting again.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
But for those two and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It was peace and harmony.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You were really into it. Yeah, I got the first
Star Wars came out in nineteen seventy seven. I did
not get online for that, but the other two, Yeah,
we were a little too.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
We were a little too young for that one, barely born. Yeah,
but yeah, but Empire strikes back. I remember Empire strikes
Back at the drive in as a little small kid.
And then, like I said, we got to go to
a walk in theater as we called it way in
the olden days to see Return of the Jedi. And
(02:52):
Return of the Jedi might be my favorite just because
of that memory. Yeah, I have like the smell of popcorn.
I mean, not that we got any, but my mom
busted out the little plastic bags she pre made the
popcorn and threw some Eminem's in there and said, shut up,
here's your candy and popcorn. Yeah, she had the contraband
(03:13):
in her purse, and.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We would always sneak the candy in. My mom always
had a really big purse, so we'd go to get
the candy because they gouge you at the movies. But
we were always concerned. As a kid. I thought, oh
my god, my mom's going to get arrested and she's
got some peanut m and ms in her purse, and
my mom to go to jail for me because I'm
a fat kid. And she never did get arrested.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Could you imagine TSA at the door of the movie theater.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Wait a minute, hold of us. You couldnot take those
milk drops.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Us, so many of us would have criminal records.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah. Now, if you're really into Star Wars and I
don't know anyone that's done this, I've heard that people
do do this. That when they filmed the Star Wars
movies out in the desert, Tunisian desert, they just left
the set out in the middle of the dead. The
(04:06):
iconic you know, iconic scenes and Star Wars they left
them out in the middle of nowhere, and people go
on trips to go see where they filmed the movie there.
They're actually Tunisian tourism with people that went there or
go there to walk where they filmed the movies.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
For some I was gonna say, for some of the
scenes on the Central Coast ben one of the parts
of California, you and I both really like. It's the
sand dunes there right before you get to Pismo Beach
they filmed. Yeah, there's rolling sand dunes, really, and they
filmed some Star Wars scenes there.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I didn't I did not know that Gua Guadaloupe is
the name of it. I do know the e walk
looks like a looks like my old dog Bella. Yeah,
I know, I know that, but maybe George Lucas liked
that kind of that kind of dog. But yeah, that's
it's kind of I mean, if you're into it, why not.
I saw photos. It looks like a lot of the stuff.
(05:10):
It's been a long time since they filmed that, and
it's it's not doing that well. It's been out in
the desert sun for forty years or fifty years or
whatever it is, so it's not doing particularly great. But
you can certainly see if they do the side by
side on the internet if you click on some of
the sites, they have the side by side of what
it looked like on the film and what it looks
like now, and like, hey here I am the Force awakens.
(05:34):
You know, I'm here.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Man.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's a lot of money to go on vacation for
that kind of thing. But yeah, if you're into that.
I know today in modern times, a lot of baseball
teams they always have that as a promotion so they
can get people to spend a little extra to get
a star Wars the Insured or something like that. It's
free comic book day today. You're into that kind of thing.
My dad was a big comic book guy in his day,
(05:56):
loved the comic books. It's beer pong day, so enjoy that.
Why would today be beer punk? That seems kind of
random day.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I guess a warm up for Sinko Demayo.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Oh yeah, maybe maybe that's maybe that's its International fire
Fighter Day, So congratulations.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
What's up firefighters listening?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, and there's some big horse race there in the
most exciting two minutes in sports. We talked about that yesterday,
but today's the actual day and it shares it shares
the big day with the National Candied Orange Peel Day,
which is a very important day. There's so many stupid holidays,
but I love about that all right.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
That horse race is over before you could finish, peeling pretty.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Much close, but no cigar. It was my last weekend
birthday weekend, and here people were wondering, what were you doing?
You didn't talk about the show. Welcome to the forty club,
by the way, Yeah, I just just crossed over forty.
So originally was going to go to Sequoia. I've done
that in the past for my birthday, the Giant Forest. However,
(07:01):
to get to Sequoia from the north Woods where I
hang out. It is a long winding road, long winding
road to reach the redwoods, of those big redwoods. Plus
I was just in a big forest when I was
in Northern California and Los Gatos. So I feel like
I love the I think the giant force is better.
(07:23):
I believe it is. I don't think that's up for debate.
It's a better forest than the one I was in,
but the one I was in was close. We also
have a big trip coming up across country, trip that
we've talked a little bit about. I'll promote that more.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
In a second.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So I decide, you know what, I'm going to go
back to my old snopping grounds in San Diego where
it all began, where my radio dreams began on the
mighty six ninety. They're off SeaWorld Drive and Pacific Coast
Highway and San Diego, and go back and just hang out,
walk around a little bit, go to Balbo, Paul, check
(08:00):
out a museum, have a nice meal, and then boom,
that's it. So we pack up the malamobile, hop in
the car and we're going do Do Do Do Do
Do Do, And all of a sudden. We get to
about Santa No Free and nothing but red lights.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
In front of us, son of a biscuit.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper. So we're looking
at the the GPS. We're like, okay, maybe it's just
a little bit of traffic.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
And the ways app said time in traffic, twenty nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
This is the fastest route. Though It's like, but no,
it was a lot more than twenty nine minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And so I made these Oh she only tells you
that for the standstill time though.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah. Yeah, So traffic starts piling up around Camp Pendleton.
If you're familiar with.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
The oh yeah, yeah, what a crappy drive.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So I called an audible and I said, oh maha,
oh maha, oh maha, just like oh my and I
pivoted and we decided to have instead of going to
San Diego and having a wonderful time in that great place,
we just had a little beachside a bungalow in Orange County.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
We drove.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I got off right at Santaofrey. The tits were there
from the famous movie what was that naked gun? Yes,
famous scene and naked gun.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Your old tech producer big brother Jake. Whenever he drives
past that, he tweets out the same joke every time.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It's a great joke. It's a great dad joke.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Here's the boobs. Stay awake with Jake.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
So I got off the freeway and I thought, well,
I've never been to the beach at Santaofrey. I hear
they have wonderful surf, and not that I'm a surfer.
I just thought, well, we're here. I didn't plan on
coming here. I don't know that I'll ever be here again.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Jase dows cool buzz, and I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
So we're right near a nuclear power plant. Why don't
we go check out the beach. So we get off
the freeway, turn right, make a left, go down this
two lane road. We can see the nuclear reactor. There's
signs warning you are entering a federal nuclear power plant
zone and all this crap. But they did have a
(10:18):
sign towards the beach, so okay, we'll go to the beach.
Who cares. And they haven't used that nuclear reactor in years, right,
that's been things been dormant, although they still have. Obviously,
you never really dormant when you have the nuclear power.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I would have thought a nuclear reactor would be too complicated.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
It's not active. There's spaceships that they park in there.
Probably so probably. So. So we go to the to.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
The beach and there's a big sign beach access only
available if you are serving at Camp Pendleton active duty,
or if you have a pass. Well, I'm not in
the military. I don't I'm not working at Camp Poundton.
I didn't have a pass. So we had to get
out of it. We were not allowed to go to
that beach. That was an elitist beach. I didn't know
(11:03):
you could do that, but they did, and so we
made a U turn. We then go down the other direction,
down the two lane road. We go down a side road.
I didn't know where this was leading us, but we
went down. We went under Interstate five, and then we
popped up and lo and behold there was an entrance
which I had never known existed. And I've been going
(11:25):
to San Diego for many, many years just to work there.
There's an interest to Camp Pendleton, right across from Santa
and Nov. I had no idea. I didn't even know
that was a thing, but it was. It's right there.
So anyway, we didn't we didn't go in the base,
but we just kind of drove around all the beach
towns in South Warent County data Point San Clemente, went
(11:47):
up to Laguna Beach, Newport, had a nice lunch and
it was fine. It was good, probably like San Diego
a little more. But I didn't want to spend two
and a half hours in traffic to go to San Diego.
So yeah, I'm good. I'm good on that.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
That's why none of us here in the Los Angeles
area and even further into the woods, like you can
visit San Diego. My girl and I we've been wanting
to go there for like a year right now, and
it's probably been a year and a half to two
years since we've been to San Diego. And that's exactly
the reason why, because we need to put aside an
(12:25):
entire day just to sit on our asses inside the car.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Logistically, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense
to me. And here's why. It's not like it's a
three lane or two lane road from La to San Diego.
It's four or five lanes at that area. And the
way it works is on one side, you have the ocean.
On the other side you have Camp Pendleton for about
what ten miles or something like that. It's a big
(12:51):
stretch of land. But it's like there's enough lanes, just
there's so many people. It doesn't matter how many lanes
they have. And I think also you have a bottleneck
at the end of Camp Pendleton right where it gets
a little smaller. Yeah, which is that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It gets a little smaller. Yeah, But but I think
by like one lane though. That's why I always scratch
my head, like I yeah, I guess when they planned
that and they built it, it needed to be like
three lanes larger. It needed to look like something they
built in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh they sandwich everything on top of each other and all.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Well yeah, or you know, spread it out to make
it ten lanes wide.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, well, good luck on that.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's never going to happen in our lifetime.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
They spend their money to hand it out to I
guess homeless so they can get more homeless.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Or you and your wife should jump on the Amtrak
train next time.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, we could do that. That's actually not a bad idea.
That's a smooth way to get down there. We actually
stopped at the beach, the famous beach. I think it's
in San Clemente where the tracks go right.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Through the back. Oh that is San Clemente.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty cool, pretty cool. They have like
a little pier and the train tracks literally go right
through the beach area. In fact, they have a sign
because it gives a lot of people decide they want
to check out. And they have a National suicide Prevention
thing right there because I guess people have decided lights
out there. But it's a nice little beach. We had
(14:18):
an interesting night on the show. We had a couple
interesting things we can bring up here. So Jerome and
Charleston called up. If you heard the show the other night,
he is trying to shake me down. I'm doing a
mallor meet and greet. I don't know if you know
this English pub in Charleston, South Carolina. My man Dale
yep Dale hooked us up.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Mother's side burn.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
No no, no, no, no bad Jobby. My Father's must Day, My
Father's must Day and the James Island location will be
there three to five this coming Friday, three to five, Charleston,
South Carolina. Be there a couple hours. I might stay longer,
might stay longer. Try to get there a little earlier,
but three to five will be hanging out having a
good time at that English pub. So Jerome calls us up.
(15:04):
He's one of the handful of callers we have from Charles,
So surely Jerome would show up to the malarmeing greet
and I say, hey, you're gonna be there. I'm trying
to figure it out, man, I gotta do the math.
He was complaining, Yeah, exactly. So he's complaining about the cost.
He said, I don't have a car. I gotta take uber.
It's expensive and I'm gonna fixed income and all this stuff.
(15:26):
So he shakes me down. It's gonna end up Danny
costing me money. I'm not getting paid to do this.
I'm doing this on my own and Dale's helping me out.
And I thank Dale for that and the people at
the restaurant, but I'm not getting paid to make an appearance.
I'm doing this on my own own time.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah. Plus all those free drinks you gotta buy for
the Confederate flags.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Well that's when I would see Jerome is like hey,
He's like, I don't know, and I said, okay, fine,
so I'm gonna I offered to buy him an appetizer
and a drink out of my own wallet.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
What.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, it's a government handout. Man, it's not a paid
p but it's gonna cost me money now, man, just
for visiting the electorate there.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
That is super Arnold Schwartzenegger of you don't let any
kid go hungry.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Pressing the flesh on my whistle stop tour through Dixie
if I even make it there. Because a follow up,
a follow up Danny DMV license drama O rama. Now
you might remember I passed my test one take malor
got my driver's license approved, giving a temporary license.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Then you ran into the restroom there and slicked your
hair back.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
But as of the taping of this podcast, I have
yet to receive something very important in the mail and
in my head that that classic Elvis Presley tune returned
to center address unknown. You know, no such person, no
such zone. That's playing in my head because I'm worried
(17:00):
that I will fall victim to the bureaucracy of government.
Will my license make it in time? Yeah, today's the
last day. If I don't get my license, I'm gonna
have to go to the airport without my license and
try to board a domestic flight from the West Coast
to the East coast, and will I make it. One
(17:22):
of my radio friends says that I will be in
a whole lot of trouble if I show up at
the airport without my driver's license. But I have read
online that you can do it, but just be prepared
to have every orifice search. So I have people put
hands up your ass and all that, and you'll be
good to go.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
A lot of red tape. It's like the puppet you
and your wife bought in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the Muppet, the Muppet, Yeah, Muppet, Yeah,
hand up the butt. Well, this will be not if
this does happen. It's not the first time. I was
stopped in Virginia Beach by the TSA famously and was
read the Riot Act by TSA and almost missed my
flight because of some confusion.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And they were.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Complaining about this, that and the other thing.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And yeah, the white powder turned out to be powder
from a donut you had that morning.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
How am I to know? How am I to know
at all? You know, maybe instead of flying, I'll just
get on a speeding locomotive. Maybe that's what.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Well, I'm telling you that Amtrak, it's not a speeding locomotive,
but close enough. Yeah, if we ever go back to
San Diego, it's probably gonna be that Amtrak train.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Now, are you gonna you take the train to San Diego?
But then you've got to go if you're gonna go
to Bow How much of the uber ride to Boubo?
I guess they have the They do have public transfer.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
They do. Yeah, it's probably dirty now, but like everything else. Yeah,
or I think it stops in old town San Diego.
Take a donkey ride to your hotel. A couple of
asses on asses every wonderful. But we have a speeding
(19:03):
train inside our living room right now. Ben. Last weekend
it was a child proofing Saturday and Sunday on Amazon.
I ordered those plastic things that go into the outlet.
Very important. Yeah, that way little baby CoA doesn't or
(19:24):
big baby co as it is exactly. Yeah, he already
has a little mohawk, so I don't want that to
stand up any further with a sizzle. So put those
into the power outlets in the living room and the
family room, all right, And then had to get those
(19:45):
little kind of like rubber corner tips to put on
furniture and chairs. The bottom of chairs. You know what
I'm talking about. They stick on to corners.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, you take an eye out.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah, and it's made out of that material, almost like
a pencil grip. Okay, that you stick on to the
corners that way. If he falls right now and hits
his head, it's only a deep bruise rather than an
actual gash with blood squirting out.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well. And the good thing too, Danny is that little
baby cole when he's older. He can use that when
you get old, and then you can you know, you
don't hit a corner.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So full circle. Yeah, I hope he doesn't have to
deal with a diaper blowout from me the way I
have with him.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
It'll be much messier for you for him if you yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah. So now he has gone ben from barely learning
how to crawl a few weeks ago to now full
on locomotive train status. He in a blink of the eye,
he is from one room to the next. He's into everything.
He's pulling himself up and standing up. So he wants
(20:53):
to already advance to walking. This crawling thing, it just
gets him from point A to point B, almost like
a beater car.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Change the world here, Yeah, ready to Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
The beater car. The beater car is him crawling right now.
The destination where he really wants to go is on
his feet, because he keeps pulling himself up. The problem
with that is Bam either falls back on the back
of his head or falls frontward and does a face plant.
So he's all over the place. Man, he's jamming my wife.
(21:23):
He did something. I don't know how I feel about this,
and maybe it's old school thinking and I shouldn't have
the memory of it that I have. But she ordered
on Amazon a helmet for him to wear. Why do
you have to wear a helmet? Oh, like he's a
crash test dumb boy.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Helmet.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
No, Yeah, I'm gonna do I'm calling up my text
right now. There's actually a pretty cool picture of him
minus the helmet, the special kid helmet. Yeah, but that's
what I think of. You know, you remember there were
kids who had seizures and so on your cool bus.
They would have to wear a helmet.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Sure, and of course they got teased endlessly for having
a helmet. Yeah. So I cannot look at my son
right now. I was a good looking kid, but I
can't help but look at him. And laugh because he's
wearing this stupid helmet. Make sure you're about to receive
It's not going to be Co's headshot for Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, let's see here.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Doo doo, doom, Doom, doom, doom in the modern world, doom,
little sinkle domo trivia while we wait for the phone
system to work. What country's army did the smaller, much
smaller Mexican army slay. And that's why they celebrate Sinco Tomayo.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I'm gonna go France.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yes, you go in some tequila?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, what about some guac? I didn't even like wak
expensive guak, some guak ex Yeah you go. Oh you
know what they call Sinco to my own Mexico.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Danny the fifth of May.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
That's right, that's what they call the fifth of a.
It's just another day. It's no big deal. You stupid, you, stupid.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Gringos America excuse for Caucasians to drink.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yes, just like we need that. I'm still it still
didn't hold hold se Oh wow, look at that. That's
a good looking kid right there all right now, Now, Co,
he has your eyes, by the way he does.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Now, CO, forgive me, I will share this with our
fifth hour audience. I'll go ahead and post this at
Danny G Radio. Yeah, but now, and you'll.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Looks like an old school NFL player before they put
face mass on. He's got the letter. He's playing for
a Dinosaur team. So what you're looking at, man, come on,
it looks like you dove in the end zone. He's
looking up after he hit the ground. He's like, well,
(24:02):
look at me. I just scored a touchdown.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
He crawled right into a corner and hit his forehead
on it. So he had a nice protruding bruise on
his forehead and then he faced planet and got this
big carpet burn on it.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Oh yeah, I see it. Yeah, he's got to burn. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And then when I was on Dad patrol, he fell
backwards and hit the back of his head. It made
a boom inside our place, and Demolition derby with his he's.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Going for it.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah. His mom came running down the stairs. I heard that,
and so I think that was that was it. That
that's what made her order the little helmet from Ama saw.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah. Well, better safe than sorry. Yeah. It was in
the thing about kids. You have to do every mistake
to learn not to do the mistake, right, you just
trial and error. You gotta hit your head a million times.
That's why the whole concussion thing. I don't want to
get on a tangent, but here I'm gonna get all
on a tangent. But it's like the concussion thing. You know,
how many concussions kids like we have had, Like we
had when we were kids growing up, you didn't know
(25:04):
about it.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, it's funny you mentioned that because when he hit
the back of his head like that, I thought to myself,
that has to be a small concussion that he just
got from that. There's no way you can hit your
head that hard and not have any repercussions with a concussion. Yeah, man,
So you're damn right. You're so right about that. I
(25:25):
feel like in a child's little lifetime, they've probably had
three good concussions growing up.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Well, and you know it's bad now, but when you
know back in our day, daddy, you know you're around
our age, the playgrounds with that were not designed for safety.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You know, where it just was, you have, everything was
made out of rusted steel.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah yeah, and you'd go in the summer, you know,
one hundred and ninety degrees to go on the swings
and your ass burned up. You couldn't touch the sides
of it. Did metal chains, There was that. I mean
there were traps they built as playgrounds.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
For kids, are spiked bicycle pedals.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Oh yeah. So it's a little better now now in
most of the playgrounds they have those little rubber pieces,
like the tire pieces or whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
So also the lazy ass adults back then, they didn't
believe in that nice what is that stuff? It's almost
like an expensive safe rubber that they put down on
the play structures. When we were little kids, they laid
down rocks and the stupid wood chips.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Oh yeah, that was always a yeah, it's always a
good thing.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Oh Michael, you'd get splinters all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
There are photos of there's some Instagram posts that I've
seen of the playgrounds, like from the eighties, in the nineties,
early nineties, but eighties and late seventies, and it's just
it's wow. It's like this is some kind of thing
you'd get out of North Korea, like Pyongyang or something,
or you know, Russia, and it's like, no, that was America.
That's how we operated in America. Well, callersday, the darnedest things.
(27:01):
I had some really funny moments on the Overnight Show
this week that I would like to highlight here, and
we have a toss up. I'm gonna let you decide.
You make the call, you listening make the call, and
Danny g you make the call. We've got keg drinking
Steve from Missouri who called up to do a victory lap,
a celebratory call, as Alfy Alien, Opiner and Ferg Dog
(27:21):
would say. It was a celebratory call about the Chiefs
winning the first round of the NFL Draft. You might
remember that Kansas City made a trade with Buffalo and
they got a speedy wide receiver. So if you didn't
hear the call, perhaps not the first thing here. Steve
was oozing Bruce Ki's in Bourbon as he called up.
He's keg drinking Steve after all. And when he finally
(27:44):
took a breath as he was celebrating the Chiefs dynasties
going on and on, I asked him a question which
turned out to be the hardest question that he had
ever been asked. A real mind bender. I said, Hey, Steve,
can you name the player the Chiefs drafted they traded
up the draft and he hemmed any hawd he tapp dance?
(28:10):
You would have thought I asked him to reverse engineer
an alien spacecraft.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Man, he had no idea who Xavier Worthy was.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
He should have just pulled a Dick and Dayton and
changed the subject.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yeah, that would have been the move. But so he
that was unbelievable. It was great absurd absurdity ensued. And
then how do you do? Then we say hello to
the other half of this? You make the call. Mark
in Denver called up Mark and Denver big fan of
the show. He wanted to play one of our games,
(28:45):
Malar'smount of Money. So what normally happens is I will
introduce the contestants, I will set the game up, then
we will have a brief intermission, and then we will.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Have the game.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
So we put Mark on, we put the other guy on.
I introduced both of them. We got to know that
a little bit, okay. I said, you just stay right
there on hold, I'll come right back to you and
we'll play the game.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
And just good to go.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
So we went back. After we paused for the cause,
went back, picked the phone, call up. Mark said, hey Mark.
He did not hang up. He was there, although he
was not paying attention. He was listening. Now, what do
you think he was listening to?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Danny?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
What do you think Mark was listening to?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Mark in Denver, to George Norri, George Norrie.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Okay, that would have been fine. We love George, big
fan of George Norri does does wonderful Radio. No, Mark
was listening to the Best of Ben Maler Show podcast
while on the original Recipe podcast, which it was. The
timing on this, Danny was perfect. You might have had
(29:53):
to have been there or just heard it, because I'm like, hey,
are you are you Mark? Are you there? And then
we here in the background the fifth you know, the
Ben Maler Show, Best of Ben Maler Show podcast, Like,
oh my god, it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
So he's the one who downloads that.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, he's the only one. It was a wacky tobaccy.
So which one, Danny you make the call? Which is
the crazier call? The diehard, delusional Chiefs fan who called
up to celebrate and take a bow for the Chiefs
winning the NFL Draft without knowing who they actually drafted,
or Mark in Denver, who wall on hold to play
a game show was not paying attention and was listening
(30:33):
to the best of Ben Maler Show podcasts.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I don't think the chiefs fan is worthy of this title,
so I'm gonna have to go with multitasking Ben Maller's voice.
Was he listening to you on hold? Was he half
listening and he wasn't listening?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
No, he was only listening. He got so confused. He
was listening to the best of podcasts. He was that confused.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
That's even more confusing. So he's listening to the best
of So what did he think you were doing? Just
so like a run through taking caller like, I don't
understand what was he doing on the phone?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Then I don't understand either, he said. He he said
he got confused, is what he said. He was a
little how can you? But how do you get confused
by that?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
This goes back to childhood concussions.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
It must be he needed one of those little hats
CoA has. And then you're to go, yeah, all right,
we'll get out on. We have the idiom of the week.
Why don't we do the idiom of the week. Are
you ready for the idiom of the week?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Of course you're ready for You not idiot of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
No, no, no, that's something different.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
But the idiom of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yes, the idiom of the week. And this week we
went deep into the idiom bag and the not the
phrase of the week. No, no, no, The idiom of
the week is smart Alec. It was you're such a
smart Alec.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Oh yeah, my mom would say that a lot. I
bet your mom be a smart Alec.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I bet your mom didn't know where it came from.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
No, no chance.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
This is one of the all time great word origin stories.
So as I understand it, this is so good. The
term smart Alec goes back to the eighteen forties in
New York City. It is actually referred it's obviously somebody
named Alec Alec hog hoag Hogue, Alec Hogue, I guess
(32:24):
as I say, And this guy was a con artist
with his wife, and he would trick people out of
their money. So the way it worked, he was a
small time crook. He did pickpocketing, but the main source
of his shenanigans was a version of the honey trap,
an elaborate ruse where this guy, Alex Hogue's wife would
(32:49):
work as a prostitute and lure the mark into a room.
There would be a secret hiding place, and this guy,
Mark mark Ho would hide out in the like a trapdoor,
and the person who was there to hook up with
his wife would would be, you know, starting to hook up,
(33:11):
doing a little making out or whatever, and they'd be
in the other room and Alec would pop out of
the hidden panel, the hidden part of the room and
steal the guy's wallet, his watch, whatever. He had no
phone back then because they didn't have cellular phones, but
he'd take all the valuables from the guy's clothes and
then he would exit the room, close the trap door,
(33:34):
go out, go around like a magician and say Ebra cadabra,
hocus pocus. He compounding on the front door as an
irate husband, what are you doing with my wife? And
then the person would skid. Dad will just grab his clothes,
not realizing his wallet was stolen and his watch was stolen,
and just trying to get away from there. And that
(33:55):
is where the term smart Alec originated. What a con
artist man. Eighteen forties, they were pulling that trap that's
like that still goes on today, but eighteen forty a
trap door and a wife who was working as a
prostitute to steal guys money. But I guess, are you
a prostitute if you're not actually finishing the job, you're
(34:17):
just like you kind of starting the job and not
finishing the job.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
That's a good question. It's like the other day I
saw Jay Glazer on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
I was worried, and I'm worried where you're gonna no, no,
And he was talking he had a video up with
his fiance and her twin sister, and he was talking
about how he's gonna Elope gets the two sisters mixed
up if they wear the same outfits.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
And he's like, She's like, no, I'm the one you're
engaged to. And he's like, oh, oh good, I got you.
And they're haha laughing. But the first comment says, seriously,
is it eloping if everybody knows about it? Yeah, that's
because the definition you're a wordsmith, Yeah, to Elope means
secretly getting married.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah. What is the term for just not inviting anyone
to your wedding? That's what I did. I'm getting married.
I'm not I'm not inviting anyone. But yeah, you're right.
Eloping is a marriage without without the ceremony and the
typical reception and all that, without the night.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
It was the first thing I thought when I saw
the post, and then the first comment or it said
the same thing. I'm like, we're on the same page.
Don't you like that when you look at the comments
and the first person nails it.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, yeah, you're like, I'm on the right track on
this because these people think the same way.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah. In the comments section is never wrong.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
No, I mean those the best and the brightest, the
smartest people out there are in the comments section on anything,
anything at all that it takes place. Speaking of comments,
we seamlessly promoted I believe it was last week the
Backscratcher looking for some friendly comments on the Backscratcher, the
(36:04):
thing the Apple podcast page, trying to get that. Have
you looked over there? Have you peaked over there?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Yes? I have not peaked. I was going to give
it a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Oh okay, well I haven't looked either.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, let's keep it a surprise for next weekend.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
We don't want to ruin the podcast right now. But yeah,
if you want to help us out Fifth Hour with
Ben Malor podcast and of course my man Danny g
as well, and you can leave a review. I haven't
as of last week. I haven't looked, but we haven't
had any since February. It's now May, so that's embarrassing.
(36:40):
That's a bad job by man. And the downloads are
going up. People are listening more, but they're just not
You guys are not helping us out. On that Apple
podcast page fifth Hour Podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Yeah, in the description of this very podcast, click on
the link and it takes you right there. All.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Have a wonderful Saturday. Enjoy the Kentucky Derby. I'll be
watching that. Might even go out to the Dodger game.
Don't tell anybody I call the Dodger game tonight. I
haven't been out there yet.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
You are brave.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
They don't really want me out there, but they're playing
the braves this weekend, as you said, so I'll see
the Bravos and the Doyers. Anyway, have a wonderful day
and we will talk to you on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Austa Pasta by Flatious
Cutbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the clearing
House of hot takes, break free for something special. The
(00:22):
Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
In the A Everywhere The Fifth Hour with Ben Mahler
and Danny g Radio And welcome to a Saturday, Saturday
Saturday as we hang out together, you and I and
we're together on this Danny all weekend long as we
(00:50):
cut down the time. And a lot of people listen
to this while they're they're doing that Honeydee List on Saturday.
Gotta get up early, take care of the honeydew list.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I one of the Nagy.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, a lot of guys have to deal with that crap.
But it's also if you're a nerd, it's May the
Fourth be with You day today. So all right, now,
you're not a Star Wars guy, right, but no, I
like stars. My mom took me out of school when
I was a kid. For the first couple of Star
Wars movies, like we got online. It was like a
(01:28):
big deal. You know, we ditched school, like you're not
schools to do that. I remember that more than just
a random Wednesday or Thursday at school or whatever. But yeah,
I like the original three. I believe it's been watered down.
It's my take on that, like there's been too many
of them and all that. But yeah I can. Yeah,
I get down with Job of the Hut literally man party.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, it was a big, big event as a kid
when a Star Wars movie would come out. I remember
when Return of the Jedi came out in the theater
and we stood in line as kids to get in
to see that movie. And you know, my parents. I
remember my mom and stepdad and aunt and cousins. Everybody
had so much fun watching that movie at the theater.
(02:13):
And then as soon as the theater let out, everybody
in the family started fighting again.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
But for those two and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
It was peace and harmony.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
You were really into it. Yeah, I got the first
Star Wars came out in nineteen seventy seven. I did
not get online for that, but the other two, Yeah,
we were a little too.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
We were a little too young for that one, barely born. Yeah,
but yeah, but Empire strikes back. I remember Empire strikes
Back at the drive in as a little small kid.
And then, like I said, we got to go to
a walk in theater as we called it way in
the olden days to see Return of the Jedi. And
(02:52):
Return of the Jedi might be my favorite just because
of that memory. Yeah, I have like the smell of popcorn.
I mean, not that we got any, but my mom
busted out the little plastic bags she pre made the
popcorn and threw some Eminem's in there and said, shut up,
here's your candy and popcorn. Yeah, she had the contraband
(03:13):
in her purse, and.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We would always sneak the candy in. My mom always
had a really big purse, so we'd go to get
the candy because they gouge you at the movies. But
we were always concerned. As a kid. I thought, oh
my god, my mom's going to get arrested and she's
got some peanut m and ms in her purse, and
my mom to go to jail for me because I'm
a fat kid. And she never did get arrested.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Could you imagine TSA at the door of the movie theater.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Wait a minute, hold of us. You couldnot take those
milk drops.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Us, so many of us would have criminal records.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah. Now, if you're really into Star Wars and I
don't know anyone that's done this, I've heard that people
do do this. That when they filmed the Star Wars
movies out in the desert, Tunisian desert, they just left
the set out in the middle of the dead. The
(04:06):
iconic you know, iconic scenes and Star Wars they left
them out in the middle of nowhere, and people go
on trips to go see where they filmed the movie there.
They're actually Tunisian tourism with people that went there or
go there to walk where they filmed the movies.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
For some I was gonna say, for some of the
scenes on the Central Coast ben one of the parts
of California, you and I both really like. It's the
sand dunes there right before you get to Pismo Beach
they filmed. Yeah, there's rolling sand dunes, really, and they
filmed some Star Wars scenes there.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I didn't I did not know that Gua Guadaloupe is
the name of it. I do know the e walk
looks like a looks like my old dog Bella. Yeah,
I know, I know that, but maybe George Lucas liked
that kind of that kind of dog. But yeah, that's
it's kind of I mean, if you're into it, why not.
I saw photos. It looks like a lot of the stuff.
(05:10):
It's been a long time since they filmed that, and
it's it's not doing that well. It's been out in
the desert sun for forty years or fifty years or
whatever it is, so it's not doing particularly great. But
you can certainly see if they do the side by
side on the internet if you click on some of
the sites, they have the side by side of what
it looked like on the film and what it looks
like now, and like, hey here I am the Force awakens.
(05:34):
You know, I'm here.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Man.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's a lot of money to go on vacation for
that kind of thing. But yeah, if you're into that.
I know today in modern times, a lot of baseball
teams they always have that as a promotion so they
can get people to spend a little extra to get
a star Wars the Insured or something like that. It's
free comic book day today. You're into that kind of thing.
My dad was a big comic book guy in his day,
(05:56):
loved the comic books. It's beer pong day, so enjoy that.
Why would today be beer punk? That seems kind of
random day.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I guess a warm up for Sinko Demayo.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Oh yeah, maybe maybe that's maybe that's its International fire
Fighter Day, So congratulations.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
What's up firefighters listening?
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, and there's some big horse race there in the
most exciting two minutes in sports. We talked about that yesterday,
but today's the actual day and it shares it shares
the big day with the National Candied Orange Peel Day,
which is a very important day. There's so many stupid holidays,
but I love about that all right.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
That horse race is over before you could finish, peeling pretty.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Much close, but no cigar. It was my last weekend
birthday weekend, and here people were wondering, what were you doing?
You didn't talk about the show. Welcome to the forty club,
by the way, Yeah, I just just crossed over forty.
So originally was going to go to Sequoia. I've done
that in the past for my birthday, the Giant Forest. However,
(07:01):
to get to Sequoia from the north Woods where I
hang out. It is a long winding road, long winding
road to reach the redwoods, of those big redwoods. Plus
I was just in a big forest when I was
in Northern California and Los Gatos. So I feel like
I love the I think the giant force is better.
(07:23):
I believe it is. I don't think that's up for debate.
It's a better forest than the one I was in,
but the one I was in was close. We also
have a big trip coming up across country, trip that
we've talked a little bit about. I'll promote that more.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
In a second.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So I decide, you know what, I'm going to go
back to my old snopping grounds in San Diego where
it all began, where my radio dreams began on the
mighty six ninety. They're off SeaWorld Drive and Pacific Coast
Highway and San Diego, and go back and just hang out,
walk around a little bit, go to Balbo, Paul, check
(08:00):
out a museum, have a nice meal, and then boom,
that's it. So we pack up the malamobile, hop in
the car and we're going do Do Do Do Do
Do Do, And all of a sudden. We get to
about Santa No Free and nothing but red lights.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
In front of us, son of a biscuit.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper. So we're looking
at the the GPS. We're like, okay, maybe it's just
a little bit of traffic.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
And the ways app said time in traffic, twenty nine minutes.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
This is the fastest route. Though It's like, but no,
it was a lot more than twenty nine minutes.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And so I made these Oh she only tells you
that for the standstill time though.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah. Yeah, So traffic starts piling up around Camp Pendleton.
If you're familiar with.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
The oh yeah, yeah, what a crappy drive.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
So I called an audible and I said, oh maha,
oh maha, oh maha, just like oh my and I
pivoted and we decided to have instead of going to
San Diego and having a wonderful time in that great place,
we just had a little beachside a bungalow in Orange County.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
We drove.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I got off right at Santaofrey. The tits were there
from the famous movie what was that naked gun? Yes,
famous scene and naked gun.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
Your old tech producer big brother Jake. Whenever he drives
past that, he tweets out the same joke every time.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It's a great joke. It's a great dad joke.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Here's the boobs. Stay awake with Jake.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
So I got off the freeway and I thought, well,
I've never been to the beach at Santaofrey. I hear
they have wonderful surf, and not that I'm a surfer.
I just thought, well, we're here. I didn't plan on
coming here. I don't know that I'll ever be here again.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Jase dows cool buzz, and I'm fine.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
So we're right near a nuclear power plant. Why don't
we go check out the beach. So we get off
the freeway, turn right, make a left, go down this
two lane road. We can see the nuclear reactor. There's
signs warning you are entering a federal nuclear power plant
zone and all this crap. But they did have a
(10:18):
sign towards the beach, so okay, we'll go to the beach.
Who cares. And they haven't used that nuclear reactor in years, right,
that's been things been dormant, although they still have. Obviously,
you never really dormant when you have the nuclear power.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I would have thought a nuclear reactor would be too complicated.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
It's not active. There's spaceships that they park in there.
Probably so probably. So. So we go to the to.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
The beach and there's a big sign beach access only
available if you are serving at Camp Pendleton active duty,
or if you have a pass. Well, I'm not in
the military. I don't I'm not working at Camp Poundton.
I didn't have a pass. So we had to get
out of it. We were not allowed to go to
that beach. That was an elitist beach. I didn't know
(11:03):
you could do that, but they did, and so we
made a U turn. We then go down the other direction,
down the two lane road. We go down a side road.
I didn't know where this was leading us, but we
went down. We went under Interstate five, and then we
popped up and lo and behold there was an entrance
which I had never known existed. And I've been going
(11:25):
to San Diego for many, many years just to work there.
There's an interest to Camp Pendleton, right across from Santa
and Nov. I had no idea. I didn't even know
that was a thing, but it was. It's right there.
So anyway, we didn't we didn't go in the base,
but we just kind of drove around all the beach
towns in South Warent County data Point San Clemente, went
(11:47):
up to Laguna Beach, Newport, had a nice lunch and
it was fine. It was good, probably like San Diego
a little more. But I didn't want to spend two
and a half hours in traffic to go to San Diego.
So yeah, I'm good. I'm good on that.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
That's why none of us here in the Los Angeles
area and even further into the woods, like you can
visit San Diego. My girl and I we've been wanting
to go there for like a year right now, and
it's probably been a year and a half to two
years since we've been to San Diego. And that's exactly
the reason why, because we need to put aside an
(12:25):
entire day just to sit on our asses inside the car.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Logistically, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense
to me. And here's why. It's not like it's a
three lane or two lane road from La to San Diego.
It's four or five lanes at that area. And the
way it works is on one side, you have the ocean.
On the other side you have Camp Pendleton for about
what ten miles or something like that. It's a big
(12:51):
stretch of land. But it's like there's enough lanes, just
there's so many people. It doesn't matter how many lanes
they have. And I think also you have a bottleneck
at the end of Camp Pendleton right where it gets
a little smaller. Yeah, which is that's the problem.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It gets a little smaller. Yeah, But but I think
by like one lane though. That's why I always scratch
my head, like I yeah, I guess when they planned
that and they built it, it needed to be like
three lanes larger. It needed to look like something they
built in Chicago.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh they sandwich everything on top of each other and all.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Well yeah, or you know, spread it out to make
it ten lanes wide.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, well, good luck on that.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's never going to happen in our lifetime.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
They spend their money to hand it out to I
guess homeless so they can get more homeless.
Speaker 3 (13:41):
Or you and your wife should jump on the Amtrak
train next time.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, we could do that. That's actually not a bad idea.
That's a smooth way to get down there. We actually
stopped at the beach, the famous beach. I think it's
in San Clemente where the tracks go right.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Through the back. Oh that is San Clemente.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty cool, pretty cool. They have like
a little pier and the train tracks literally go right
through the beach area. In fact, they have a sign
because it gives a lot of people decide they want
to check out. And they have a National suicide Prevention
thing right there because I guess people have decided lights
out there. But it's a nice little beach. We had
(14:18):
an interesting night on the show. We had a couple
interesting things we can bring up here. So Jerome and
Charleston called up. If you heard the show the other night,
he is trying to shake me down. I'm doing a
mallor meet and greet. I don't know if you know
this English pub in Charleston, South Carolina. My man Dale
yep Dale hooked us up.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Mother's side burn.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
No no, no, no, no bad Jobby. My Father's must Day, My
Father's must Day and the James Island location will be
there three to five this coming Friday, three to five, Charleston,
South Carolina. Be there a couple hours. I might stay longer,
might stay longer. Try to get there a little earlier,
but three to five will be hanging out having a
good time at that English pub. So Jerome calls us up.
(15:04):
He's one of the handful of callers we have from Charles,
So surely Jerome would show up to the malarmeing greet
and I say, hey, you're gonna be there. I'm trying
to figure it out, man, I gotta do the math.
He was complaining, Yeah, exactly. So he's complaining about the cost.
He said, I don't have a car. I gotta take uber.
It's expensive and I'm gonna fixed income and all this stuff.
(15:26):
So he shakes me down. It's gonna end up Danny
costing me money. I'm not getting paid to do this.
I'm doing this on my own and Dale's helping me out.
And I thank Dale for that and the people at
the restaurant, but I'm not getting paid to make an appearance.
I'm doing this on my own own time.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah. Plus all those free drinks you gotta buy for
the Confederate flags.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Well that's when I would see Jerome is like hey,
He's like, I don't know, and I said, okay, fine,
so I'm gonna I offered to buy him an appetizer
and a drink out of my own wallet.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
What.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, it's a government handout. Man, it's not a paid
p but it's gonna cost me money now, man, just
for visiting the electorate there.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
That is super Arnold Schwartzenegger of you don't let any
kid go hungry.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Pressing the flesh on my whistle stop tour through Dixie
if I even make it there. Because a follow up,
a follow up Danny DMV license drama O rama. Now
you might remember I passed my test one take malor
got my driver's license approved, giving a temporary license.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
Then you ran into the restroom there and slicked your
hair back.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
But as of the taping of this podcast, I have
yet to receive something very important in the mail and
in my head that that classic Elvis Presley tune returned
to center address unknown. You know, no such person, no
such zone. That's playing in my head because I'm worried
(17:00):
that I will fall victim to the bureaucracy of government.
Will my license make it in time? Yeah, today's the
last day. If I don't get my license, I'm gonna
have to go to the airport without my license and
try to board a domestic flight from the West Coast
to the East coast, and will I make it. One
(17:22):
of my radio friends says that I will be in
a whole lot of trouble if I show up at
the airport without my driver's license. But I have read
online that you can do it, but just be prepared
to have every orifice search. So I have people put
hands up your ass and all that, and you'll be
good to go.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
A lot of red tape. It's like the puppet you
and your wife bought in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the Muppet, the Muppet, Yeah, Muppet, Yeah,
hand up the butt. Well, this will be not if
this does happen. It's not the first time. I was
stopped in Virginia Beach by the TSA famously and was
read the Riot Act by TSA and almost missed my
flight because of some confusion.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And they were.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Complaining about this, that and the other thing.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And yeah, the white powder turned out to be powder
from a donut you had that morning.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
How am I to know? How am I to know
at all? You know, maybe instead of flying, I'll just
get on a speeding locomotive. Maybe that's what.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Well, I'm telling you that Amtrak, it's not a speeding locomotive,
but close enough. Yeah, if we ever go back to
San Diego, it's probably gonna be that Amtrak train.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Now, are you gonna you take the train to San Diego?
But then you've got to go if you're gonna go
to Bow How much of the uber ride to Boubo?
I guess they have the They do have public transfer.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
They do. Yeah, it's probably dirty now, but like everything else. Yeah,
or I think it stops in old town San Diego.
Take a donkey ride to your hotel. A couple of
asses on asses every wonderful. But we have a speeding
(19:03):
train inside our living room right now. Ben. Last weekend
it was a child proofing Saturday and Sunday on Amazon.
I ordered those plastic things that go into the outlet.
Very important. Yeah, that way little baby CoA doesn't or
(19:24):
big baby co as it is exactly. Yeah, he already
has a little mohawk, so I don't want that to
stand up any further with a sizzle. So put those
into the power outlets in the living room and the
family room, all right, And then had to get those
(19:45):
little kind of like rubber corner tips to put on
furniture and chairs. The bottom of chairs. You know what
I'm talking about. They stick on to corners.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, you take an eye out.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Yeah, and it's made out of that material, almost like
a pencil grip. Okay, that you stick on to the
corners that way. If he falls right now and hits
his head, it's only a deep bruise rather than an
actual gash with blood squirting out.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well. And the good thing too, Danny is that little
baby cole when he's older. He can use that when
you get old, and then you can you know, you
don't hit a corner.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
So full circle. Yeah, I hope he doesn't have to
deal with a diaper blowout from me the way I
have with him.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
It'll be much messier for you for him if you yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Yeah. So now he has gone ben from barely learning
how to crawl a few weeks ago to now full
on locomotive train status. He in a blink of the eye,
he is from one room to the next. He's into everything.
He's pulling himself up and standing up. So he wants
(20:53):
to already advance to walking. This crawling thing, it just
gets him from point A to point B, almost like
a beater car.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Change the world here, Yeah, ready to Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
The beater car. The beater car is him crawling right now.
The destination where he really wants to go is on
his feet, because he keeps pulling himself up. The problem
with that is Bam either falls back on the back
of his head or falls frontward and does a face plant.
So he's all over the place. Man, he's jamming my wife.
(21:23):
He did something. I don't know how I feel about this,
and maybe it's old school thinking and I shouldn't have
the memory of it that I have. But she ordered
on Amazon a helmet for him to wear. Why do
you have to wear a helmet? Oh, like he's a
crash test dumb boy.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Helmet.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
No, Yeah, I'm gonna do I'm calling up my text
right now. There's actually a pretty cool picture of him
minus the helmet, the special kid helmet. Yeah, but that's
what I think of. You know, you remember there were
kids who had seizures and so on your cool bus.
They would have to wear a helmet.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Sure, and of course they got teased endlessly for having
a helmet. Yeah. So I cannot look at my son
right now. I was a good looking kid, but I
can't help but look at him. And laugh because he's
wearing this stupid helmet. Make sure you're about to receive
It's not going to be Co's headshot for Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Okay, let's see here.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Doo doo, doom, Doom, doom, doom in the modern world, doom,
little sinkle domo trivia while we wait for the phone
system to work. What country's army did the smaller, much
smaller Mexican army slay. And that's why they celebrate Sinco Tomayo.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
I'm gonna go France.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Yes, you go in some tequila?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Yeah, what about some guac? I didn't even like wak
expensive guak, some guak ex Yeah you go. Oh you
know what they call Sinco to my own Mexico.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Danny the fifth of May.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
That's right, that's what they call the fifth of a.
It's just another day. It's no big deal. You stupid, you, stupid.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Gringos America excuse for Caucasians to drink.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yes, just like we need that. I'm still it still
didn't hold hold se Oh wow, look at that. That's
a good looking kid right there all right now, Now, Co,
he has your eyes, by the way he does.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Now, CO, forgive me, I will share this with our
fifth hour audience. I'll go ahead and post this at
Danny G Radio. Yeah, but now, and you'll.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Looks like an old school NFL player before they put
face mass on. He's got the letter. He's playing for
a Dinosaur team. So what you're looking at, man, come on,
it looks like you dove in the end zone. He's
looking up after he hit the ground. He's like, well,
(24:02):
look at me. I just scored a touchdown.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
He crawled right into a corner and hit his forehead
on it. So he had a nice protruding bruise on
his forehead and then he faced planet and got this
big carpet burn on it.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Oh yeah, I see it. Yeah, he's got to burn. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
And then when I was on Dad patrol, he fell
backwards and hit the back of his head. It made
a boom inside our place, and Demolition derby with his he's.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Going for it.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yeah. His mom came running down the stairs. I heard that,
and so I think that was that was it. That
that's what made her order the little helmet from Ama saw.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah. Well, better safe than sorry. Yeah. It was in
the thing about kids. You have to do every mistake
to learn not to do the mistake, right, you just
trial and error. You gotta hit your head a million times.
That's why the whole concussion thing. I don't want to
get on a tangent, but here I'm gonna get all
on a tangent. But it's like the concussion thing. You know,
how many concussions kids like we have had, Like we
had when we were kids growing up, you didn't know
(25:04):
about it.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, it's funny you mentioned that because when he hit
the back of his head like that, I thought to myself,
that has to be a small concussion that he just
got from that. There's no way you can hit your
head that hard and not have any repercussions with a concussion. Yeah, man,
So you're damn right. You're so right about that. I
(25:25):
feel like in a child's little lifetime, they've probably had
three good concussions growing up.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Well, and you know it's bad now, but when you
know back in our day, daddy, you know you're around
our age, the playgrounds with that were not designed for safety.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You know, where it just was, you have, everything was
made out of rusted steel.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah yeah, and you'd go in the summer, you know,
one hundred and ninety degrees to go on the swings
and your ass burned up. You couldn't touch the sides
of it. Did metal chains, There was that. I mean
there were traps they built as playgrounds.
Speaker 3 (26:01):
For kids, are spiked bicycle pedals.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Oh yeah. So it's a little better now now in
most of the playgrounds they have those little rubber pieces,
like the tire pieces or whatever.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
So also the lazy ass adults back then, they didn't
believe in that nice what is that stuff? It's almost
like an expensive safe rubber that they put down on
the play structures. When we were little kids, they laid
down rocks and the stupid wood chips.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Oh yeah, that was always a yeah, it's always a
good thing.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Oh Michael, you'd get splinters all the time. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
There are photos of there's some Instagram posts that I've
seen of the playgrounds, like from the eighties, in the nineties,
early nineties, but eighties and late seventies, and it's just
it's wow. It's like this is some kind of thing
you'd get out of North Korea, like Pyongyang or something,
or you know, Russia, and it's like, no, that was America.
That's how we operated in America. Well, callersday, the darnedest things.
(27:01):
I had some really funny moments on the Overnight Show
this week that I would like to highlight here, and
we have a toss up. I'm gonna let you decide.
You make the call, you listening make the call, and
Danny g you make the call. We've got keg drinking
Steve from Missouri who called up to do a victory lap,
a celebratory call, as Alfy Alien, Opiner and Ferg Dog
(27:21):
would say. It was a celebratory call about the Chiefs
winning the first round of the NFL Draft. You might
remember that Kansas City made a trade with Buffalo and
they got a speedy wide receiver. So if you didn't
hear the call, perhaps not the first thing here. Steve
was oozing Bruce Ki's in Bourbon as he called up.
He's keg drinking Steve after all. And when he finally
(27:44):
took a breath as he was celebrating the Chiefs dynasties
going on and on, I asked him a question which
turned out to be the hardest question that he had
ever been asked. A real mind bender. I said, Hey, Steve,
can you name the player the Chiefs drafted they traded
up the draft and he hemmed any hawd he tapp dance?
(28:10):
You would have thought I asked him to reverse engineer
an alien spacecraft.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Man, he had no idea who Xavier Worthy was.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
He should have just pulled a Dick and Dayton and
changed the subject.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Yeah, that would have been the move. But so he
that was unbelievable. It was great absurd absurdity ensued. And
then how do you do? Then we say hello to
the other half of this? You make the call. Mark
in Denver called up Mark and Denver big fan of
the show. He wanted to play one of our games,
(28:45):
Malar'smount of Money. So what normally happens is I will
introduce the contestants, I will set the game up, then
we will have a brief intermission, and then we will.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Have the game.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
So we put Mark on, we put the other guy on.
I introduced both of them. We got to know that
a little bit, okay. I said, you just stay right
there on hold, I'll come right back to you and
we'll play the game.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
And just good to go.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
So we went back. After we paused for the cause,
went back, picked the phone, call up. Mark said, hey Mark.
He did not hang up. He was there, although he
was not paying attention. He was listening. Now, what do
you think he was listening to?
Speaker 3 (29:25):
Danny?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
What do you think Mark was listening to?
Speaker 3 (29:27):
Mark in Denver, to George Norri, George Norrie.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Okay, that would have been fine. We love George, big
fan of George Norri does does wonderful Radio. No, Mark
was listening to the Best of Ben Maler Show podcast
while on the original Recipe podcast, which it was. The
timing on this, Danny was perfect. You might have had
(29:53):
to have been there or just heard it, because I'm like, hey,
are you are you Mark? Are you there? And then
we here in the background the fifth you know, the
Ben Maler Show, Best of Ben Maler Show podcast, Like,
oh my god, it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
So he's the one who downloads that.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, he's the only one. It was a wacky tobaccy.
So which one, Danny you make the call? Which is
the crazier call? The diehard, delusional Chiefs fan who called
up to celebrate and take a bow for the Chiefs
winning the NFL Draft without knowing who they actually drafted,
or Mark in Denver, who wall on hold to play
a game show was not paying attention and was listening
(30:33):
to the best of Ben Maler Show podcasts.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
I don't think the chiefs fan is worthy of this title,
so I'm gonna have to go with multitasking Ben Maller's voice.
Was he listening to you on hold? Was he half
listening and he wasn't listening?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
No, he was only listening. He got so confused. He
was listening to the best of podcasts. He was that confused.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
That's even more confusing. So he's listening to the best
of So what did he think you were doing? Just
so like a run through taking caller like, I don't
understand what was he doing on the phone?
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Then I don't understand either, he said. He he said
he got confused, is what he said. He was a
little how can you? But how do you get confused
by that?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
This goes back to childhood concussions.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
It must be he needed one of those little hats
CoA has. And then you're to go, yeah, all right,
we'll get out on. We have the idiom of the week.
Why don't we do the idiom of the week. Are
you ready for the idiom of the week?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Of course you're ready for You not idiot of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
No, no, no, that's something different.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
But the idiom of the week.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yes, the idiom of the week. And this week we
went deep into the idiom bag and the not the
phrase of the week. No, no, no, The idiom of
the week is smart Alec. It was you're such a
smart Alec.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Oh yeah, my mom would say that a lot. I
bet your mom be a smart Alec.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I bet your mom didn't know where it came from.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
No, no chance.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
This is one of the all time great word origin stories.
So as I understand it, this is so good. The
term smart Alec goes back to the eighteen forties in
New York City. It is actually referred it's obviously somebody
named Alec Alec hog hoag Hogue, Alec Hogue, I guess
(32:24):
as I say, And this guy was a con artist
with his wife, and he would trick people out of
their money. So the way it worked, he was a
small time crook. He did pickpocketing, but the main source
of his shenanigans was a version of the honey trap,
an elaborate ruse where this guy, Alex Hogue's wife would
(32:49):
work as a prostitute and lure the mark into a room.
There would be a secret hiding place, and this guy,
Mark mark Ho would hide out in the like a trapdoor,
and the person who was there to hook up with
his wife would would be, you know, starting to hook up,
(33:11):
doing a little making out or whatever, and they'd be
in the other room and Alec would pop out of
the hidden panel, the hidden part of the room and
steal the guy's wallet, his watch, whatever. He had no
phone back then because they didn't have cellular phones, but
he'd take all the valuables from the guy's clothes and
then he would exit the room, close the trap door,
(33:34):
go out, go around like a magician and say Ebra cadabra,
hocus pocus. He compounding on the front door as an
irate husband, what are you doing with my wife? And
then the person would skid. Dad will just grab his clothes,
not realizing his wallet was stolen and his watch was stolen,
and just trying to get away from there. And that
(33:55):
is where the term smart Alec originated. What a con
artist man. Eighteen forties, they were pulling that trap that's
like that still goes on today, but eighteen forty a
trap door and a wife who was working as a
prostitute to steal guys money. But I guess, are you
a prostitute if you're not actually finishing the job, you're
(34:17):
just like you kind of starting the job and not
finishing the job.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
That's a good question. It's like the other day I
saw Jay Glazer on Twitter.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
I was worried, and I'm worried where you're gonna no, no,
And he was talking he had a video up with
his fiance and her twin sister, and he was talking
about how he's gonna Elope gets the two sisters mixed
up if they wear the same outfits.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
And he's like, She's like, no, I'm the one you're
engaged to. And he's like, oh, oh good, I got you.
And they're haha laughing. But the first comment says, seriously,
is it eloping if everybody knows about it? Yeah, that's
because the definition you're a wordsmith, Yeah, to Elope means
secretly getting married.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah. What is the term for just not inviting anyone
to your wedding? That's what I did. I'm getting married.
I'm not I'm not inviting anyone. But yeah, you're right.
Eloping is a marriage without without the ceremony and the
typical reception and all that, without the night.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
It was the first thing I thought when I saw
the post, and then the first comment or it said
the same thing. I'm like, we're on the same page.
Don't you like that when you look at the comments
and the first person nails it.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Yeah, yeah, you're like, I'm on the right track on
this because these people think the same way.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
Yeah. In the comments section is never wrong.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
No, I mean those the best and the brightest, the
smartest people out there are in the comments section on anything,
anything at all that it takes place. Speaking of comments,
we seamlessly promoted I believe it was last week the
Backscratcher looking for some friendly comments on the Backscratcher, the
(36:04):
thing the Apple podcast page, trying to get that. Have
you looked over there? Have you peaked over there?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Yes? I have not peaked. I was going to give
it a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Oh okay, well I haven't looked either.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
Yeah, let's keep it a surprise for next weekend.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
We don't want to ruin the podcast right now. But yeah,
if you want to help us out Fifth Hour with
Ben Malor podcast and of course my man Danny g
as well, and you can leave a review. I haven't
as of last week. I haven't looked, but we haven't
had any since February. It's now May, so that's embarrassing.
(36:40):
That's a bad job by man. And the downloads are
going up. People are listening more, but they're just not
You guys are not helping us out. On that Apple
podcast page fifth Hour Podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Yeah, in the description of this very podcast, click on
the link and it takes you right there. All.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Have a wonderful Saturday. Enjoy the Kentucky Derby. I'll be
watching that. Might even go out to the Dodger game.
Don't tell anybody I call the Dodger game tonight. I
haven't been out there yet.
Speaker 3 (37:05):
You are brave.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
They don't really want me out there, but they're playing
the braves this weekend, as you said, so I'll see
the Bravos and the Doyers. Anyway, have a wonderful day
and we will talk to you on Sunday.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Austa Pasta by Flatious
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.