Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kabbooms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
of the Old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He
treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
Mallor and Danny g Radio. He's on assignment. He'll be
back on Saturday and hopefully Sunday as well. But it
is the Fifth Hour. Happy Friday, the seventeenth day of
January in the Bonus Weekend podcast on National Bootleggers Day
(00:54):
today every January seventeenth to mark the start of prohibition
in the US. What a great idea that was, What
a wonderful idea that was. It's also the birthday of
al Capone. How much money did al Capone make as
a bootlegger? Now here's a fun fact to begin the
(01:16):
Fifth Hour podcast. When I was a little kid, I
remember hearing my grandfather on my mom's dad tell a
story at dinner when he was growing up in Massachusetts.
At one point he did some bootlegging. There's some bootlegging
(01:37):
in the Malar family, which was a different name. But
back in the day, he went up to Canada. Prohibition
started on January seventeenth, nineteen twenty, so one hundred and
five years ago. And the gangsters and mafioso the underworld.
They made a fortune, right, they made for you think
(02:00):
about the Roaring twenties with jazz and booze and all
of that, all of that. But the bootleggers in the
south went to Mexico obviously in the north they went
to Canada and they made an absolutely. I don't think
my family, my grandfather, I don't think he made that much.
Otherwise I'd be in a better situation than I am.
(02:21):
But you know, it buzzed around with it, why not. Yeah,
it's also there's a bunch of these other dopey holidays.
It's Benjamin Franklin Day today. No, I am not named
after Benjamin Franklin. I am not. Yeah, but one of
our founding father this is he the greatest founding father. Yeah,
(02:43):
this is the anniversary of his birth. So I can't
say happy birthday because he's dead. But Benjamin Franklin who
made so many contributions, including the science the famous story
of Ben Franklin inventing the lightning rod nineteen well non
(03:06):
nineteen seventeen, it was like seventeen fifty something. And he
coined the term battery. How about that? That was a
Benjamin Franklin to when we say battery, I need some
new batteries. He also came up with the term charge
conductor and electrify. Those are all Benjamin Franklin terms common
(03:30):
terms that he came up with that we still used to.
What a legacy for Benjamin Franklin also founded the first
subscription library in the seventeen thirties, the Library Common in Philadelphia,
and in nineteen I keep saying nineteen, it's the seventeen hunderies.
(03:51):
Seventeen forty one. Ben Franklin. His pamphlet on the Need
to Educate Youth in Pennsylvania resulted in the founding of
the modern day University of Pennsylvania, penn that to this
day remains one of the bougie institutions in America. That
(04:11):
was all because of Benjamin Franklin. But wait, there's more.
Benjamin Franklin in the seventeen seventies, became the first American
ambassador to France. Now, I remember reading stories years ago
that he really enjoyed the ladies in France and they
enjoyed him. He really went for it when he went
to France. But he was born on this day, seventeen
(04:33):
o six, Benjamin Franklin born to an English soap and
candle maker that was his pops in seventeen six, and
when he was twenty three years old he purchased a
newspaper and made a fortune the Pennsylvania Gazette, made a
(04:56):
fortune publishing. He used a fake name, pseudonym, and you
didn't use Benjamin Franklin's embarrassed by that. So interesting life,
but it's about Benjamin Franklin day today as well. On
this podcast, we have The Wanderer, the postgame Palooza, upward Bound,
or we'll get to that, maybe have a little foody
(05:16):
fun if we have time in the idiom of the week,
but we begin with the Wanderer and it is back it,
What is it? What is it? Well, that would be
Benny versus the Penny in studio. Now, we talked about
last week having to do the show from home. We
were chased out of our main studio because of the
(05:38):
wildfires here in the LA area, and they closed down
the studio, so we were not able to get us
so we did the show from home. Before we get
into the return of Benny Versus the Penny, I do
have to point out I thought for a show that
was put together at the last minute, Vinnie and the
guys in Boston did a wonderful job making the show
(05:59):
as seamless as possible, and we had all of the
bells and whistles that we needed doing the show from
our homes. I have this studio which I'm actually broadcasting
in right now, which is the podcast studio, which I
do the radio show from occasionally, and I do the
podcast out of here. So I built this own, my
own little studio, which I actually I want you to know,
(06:21):
I built this before COVID. I've talked about this a
few times on the podcast, but before COVID. In twenty seventeen,
the year the cheating Astros cheated their way to the
World Series. They didn't win the World Series, but they
cheated their word of the World Series. But in twenty seventeen,
I did fill in work remotely for Wei out of Boston,
(06:44):
and so I built this studio and it was at
the last house that I lived in and moved it
and bought all the equipment and everything, and so I
still have all of the nonsense here to do radio.
And I only started doing the Fox Sports Radio show
from the home studio during COVID. Before that though, I
(07:07):
only did the Boston stuff. But I had everything ready
to go, and I did the podcast and all that.
So I had all the equipment and had a green screen.
Cause years ago we fetched around on YouTube with a
version of Benny Versus the Penny. On the YouTube, we
had a live chat going. Some of you guys participated
(07:29):
in that. I know Alf was part of that, and
that was before Ferd Dog was a member of the
Malord militia, and there were some others just Josh and Cincinnati,
our friend from the Bay Area who passed away at
the end of last year. He was on there as well,
and a bunch of the other regulars were participating in that.
So I had this green screen, so I dusted that
(07:50):
off and I had everything I needed. I was ready
to go. It was good to go, So I thought
the show looked pretty good. All things considered, but we
were back this week. He was a regular Scot. Little
different because there's not as many games Benny Versus the Penny,
more of myself and Looney Tunes on the TV show,
(08:11):
so we were able to get back in the studio
a normal routine. Went over there after the overnight show
on Thursday morning and hung out by myself in the
back room across the hall from the studio and put
the finishing touches on my notes, which I have to
memorize because unlike teleprepter Tom, I do not have a
(08:31):
teleprompter and I was there for many many hours. Tom
shows up. We have the infamous table read in the
back and then we go sit and get miked up
and put the makeup on and all that stuff and
do Benny Versus the Penny Show. We'll be on tonight
(08:52):
on in b see Sports Boston you can check it
out and three shows now. The Celtics play the Orlando
Magic as division leaders get together in Beantown. That game
in Boston. Game starts at seven o'clock. The Celtics hosting
they lead the Atlantic. They're hosting the Southeast leading Orlando Magic,
(09:16):
and Orlando actually has a chance tonight to clinch the
the season series. But we're not really worried about that.
We're worried about after the game, the Celtics postgame show
will take place, and then we go on after that.
I think the first airing schedule, depending how long the
Celtic game goes for eleven o'clock, but then it's going
to air again at eleven thirty again at midnight. So
(09:38):
three showings on NBC Sports Boston very important if you're
in the Boston area. If you have NBC Sports Boston,
please check that out. That is the originator of the show.
That is where the show comes from, and it's produced
out of NBC Sports Boston, so it's very important we
do well in Boston, and it'll be on there tonight
(10:01):
late after the Celtic game. And then also NBC Sports Philadelphia.
You'll be able to get Benny Versus the Penny as well.
That'll debut tonight at ten thirty tonight at ten thirty
NBC Sports Boston, NBC Sports Philadelphia. Rather you can catch
the first running of that at ten thirty and it
(10:22):
will air throughout the weekend, so there'll be other opportunities
you're not able to watch it or not record it,
and then the Bay Area, which it's already aired in
the Bay Area several times. It's going to air this morning.
In fact, by the time you get this podcast, it
will probably already have been broadcast, and three o'clock, three
(10:44):
point thirty it'll be on six o'clock tonight on NBC
Sports Boston nine o'clock, so a lot of showings in
the Bay Area. The Warriors are not playing today, so
that means they need to fill time, and there's no
better filler of time than Benny versus the PA. And
it'll be on Peacock all weekend, so check that out.
I also have a video up later today of my
(11:05):
wandering and they call me the Wanderer, Me and Looney Tunes,
who was back for the promotional video, as we walked
around the back lot at Universal Studios, and it was
a little different this week in the sense that I
do not believe Universal Studios, Hollywood the actual amusement park
which is right above the back lot, I do not
think it was open. The reason I do not think
(11:29):
it is open when we're walking around back there every
twenty minutes or every thirty minutes, I think it's every
twenty minutes, there's a shuttle, you know those famous Universal
Studio shuts, and they go by, and then there's like
the VIP shuttle where the people are able to get
out and walk around and stuff, and they have tour
guides explaining what everything is. So we didn't see any
(11:49):
of that. There were some people working on the sets,
and these are like the guys that are blue collar workers,
you know, the people that fix everything and make it
look all all pretty and take care of the plumbing
and move the stuff around. The prop people. We saw
a lot of those guys. There were signs up around
Universal saying red flag warning, no smoking, things like that.
Because of the fire its Universal Studios is at the
(12:12):
base of some mountains, and so obviously that's that's an
issue here in southern California with everything going on, so
we had a lot of that. I just want to
jump to the upward balance. As we're talking about the
TV show Benny Versus The Penny, got some really good
I mentioned very important, very important. The show does well
(12:34):
in Boston, and the way I approach these things, the
radio show and the TV show, I never worry about
the ratings. I don't now somebody, So it doesn't matter
you're on overnight, We'll trust We always are getting judged, right,
We're always getting judged, even doing the overnight show. I
have people at other networks that are doing overnight shows.
(12:55):
Can I keep the audience more than them? Can we
can we add to the audience? Can we grow the audience? Now?
Because of podcasting, we not only have the live version,
but we have the podcasting version. And so we're lucky
that a lot of you have been loyal. When you've
listened overnight and you've worked the third shift, and then
you go to the day shift, the dreaded day shift,
(13:16):
you still enjoy the show, which is great, which is awesome,
and it helps us out a lot that something about
this show radiates with you that you want to be
part of it. And so that's awesome, and it's great
for us because I can go to the corporate weasels
and point all that out. But I never worry about it.
I always my position has always been since I used
to worry when I first started. I'm not gonna lie
(13:37):
to you. When I first started, I was like when
I did like mid days, I used to freak out.
But as I've gotten older, I spend so much time
on this crap. I get to the point now I'm like, well, listen,
I put all the effort in and if people are
gonna listen, they're gonna listen. I'm going out there. I'm
gonn tear up the dance floor. If people like it,
that's great. If they don't like it, that's fine, and
(13:58):
that'll the listener, the viewer in this case on TV,
will explain to me the issues. Now. I don't know
if I'm allowed to say this or not, but what
the hell, I'll say it anyway. I'm very excited. We
got the ratings for last week. I very rarely get
the ratings update because I don't really know. I don't care.
They'll tell me if the show's not bad. But we
did very well last week in Boston, and we were Yeah.
(14:21):
I don't know how much I can say and how
much I can't say, but let's just say we were
one of the top shows on TV in our demographic,
the demographic we need to get to keep the show
on the air. We were awesome. We did very well.
We were on late last week too, and we killed it.
When I say kill it, I'm like, top five in
the market, top three in the market. We destroyed the
(14:43):
ratings in Boston, which is awesome and thank you. I
think it was all Alf making. All of his relatives
and all of his friends and enemies watched the show,
and a few of you other people, you know who
you are in Boston. But we did very well. So
in the demos that we need to get to watch
the show to keep the show going, we did very well.
(15:04):
That's only one week, and I don't really worry about it.
I'm not gonna worry about it this week. I'm not
gonna worry about it the coming weeks. That'll be sorted
out by other people who make more money than me,
who will figure out they'll crunch the numbers and all that,
and that's on them. But I was very happy to
hear that, because you know, I didn't ask for it
and just get that kind of news. It's like, hey,
that's that's pretty neat, that's pretty cool. All right. Now,
(15:27):
turning the page on that, we have the postgame polus.
If you heard last night's overnight show, it was on
a Royal Rumble and the Audio Jungle, the first octagon
of twenty twenty five Bad Blood as they did the tango.
Who are they? Well, we have a big playoff game
(15:50):
on Sunday. The main event this weekend the Ravens traveling
to Orchard Park, New York. Or the forecast for the
that particular game, it is a picture perfect day, a
picture perfect day at Orchard Park, New York on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
the updated forecast anywhere from nine to nine degrees to
(16:12):
thirteen degrees with a chance of snow in that game,
Lake effects snow for the Bills and Ravens. But leading
into that game, my friend, a longtime supporter of the
show and one of the great podcasters and broadcasters Sports
with Coleman, he did an interview he covers the Ravens
(16:32):
and he did it in with John Harbaugh, and there
was a comment made about Bill's fans, and John Harbaugh
asked him about what he said to get in trouble
with the Bills fans. He then answered the question and
this was like a hotspot that started a wildfire and
led to Bill's Mafia weaponizing that and forming Voltron or
(16:55):
Bill's Tron and going after my guys Sports with Coleman,
and he had Malard Militia on Malarn militia crime. What
is Malard militia on malardlussa crime? Makesually so Andy the
comic book guy who's from Buffalo but lives in La
now and runs a comic book shop. He unloaded on
(17:15):
sports with Colman. So I'm getting feedback and I'm not
involved in this. I stay off X during the day.
I'm not on there. I've learned my lesson for my
health and my perspective on life. It's just better I
stay off there. I go on there at night during
the show, and that's enough for me. I'm very popular
(17:36):
with the porn bots. The bots that are trying to
get me to sign up for their only fans account
love me. If you send comments out late at night
to the live show, you're going to get a lot
of that. Also, it's all over the map. You get
a lot of gambling, a lot of fake accounts, a
large crevacous women who want you to pay for their
only fans And I'm like, God, it's good. I'm sure
(17:58):
you're up listening to a sports radio show in the
middle of the night, in the middle of the night,
unless unless you are not. But the octagon I thought
it went pretty well. There were mixed opinions on the octagon.
You can still vote if you're listening and you didn't
hear the overnight radio show, It'll be up all day today,
all day long, all day long. You can vote. There
(18:22):
are three options. Just go to my ex page Ben
Maler on x and you click on the profile there
and my cartoon drawing avatar will come up and you
can check that out and right there, many many hours
to go, you can vote Sports with Coleman, Andy the
(18:45):
Comic Book Guy, or draw Those are the three options,
and Sports with Coleman at the time we are doing
this podcast is leading. I am concerned though, because once
we're doing this very early in the morning here on
this Friday, but once the Bill's mafia start to get
(19:06):
on their phones later today, once they're done pretending to
work any the Comic Book Guy is circling the wagons
of the Bill's stampede attempting to get votes here. So
I have a feeling there'll be some shenanigans here, not
that that ever happens, But if you want to answer
the question who won the twenty twenty five Malard Verbal
Octagon between Sports with Coleman, Andy the comic book guy.
(19:29):
You can vote on that. Check that out. It'll be
up throughout the day today and we'll see what happens
with that. With that foody fun, let's get to a
little foody fun, foody fun, let's do it. You're excited,
not too much, I think early in the year it's
(19:51):
a little slow foodie wise. They want to get through
the Super Bowl and then the deals will start popping up.
People eat out more once we're through the really cold
months of January and February and part of March, and
then it starts to warm up. But Taco Bell doesn't
care about all that. They've launched a new item, steak
garlic nacho fries. Now, this sounds wonderful. It might be
(20:15):
because I'm on a fast. It might be because I'm
on a fast, but it sounds wonderful. It's available for
a limited time. It started yesterday, on the sixteenth day
of January. But what's not to like about that. You
got the fries, you got the garlic, you got the cheese,
the whole thing. The steak sounds good to me. A
Dominoes on Foody Fun fifty percent off pizza deal back,
(20:38):
but for a limited time, and like every deal now
there are no deals. If you walk into a fast
food restaurant like Dominoes and you buy food off the menu,
you are a rube. You are a sucker. You gotta
get the apps. Now I realize the apps are tracking you,
but you gotta get the apps all of the deals
like fast food. We've talked about this in previous episodes
(21:01):
of The Fifth Hour, but fast food is still pretty
cheap if you use the apps. If you don't use
the apps, you were paying a premium on all of
that food. Right, you are the sucker in the room.
You are the sucker in the room. I'm just saying.
(21:25):
I'm just saying. I mean, you look at that, it's like,
what all right, what in the world, What in the
world are you doing? Little Caesars Pizza, Pizza Pizza. They're
offering free crazy bread with any pizza purchase. That is
through February eight, so that's actually through the Super Bowl,
So you got some time to do that. And I
saw this story and I thought this would be perfect
(21:46):
for FOODI Fund, so I wanted to share it with you.
It's from one of the food websites that I occasionally
check out. This was the other day. It's from eat this,
not that, eat this, not that I think, it's eat
this dot com. So they had seven ways fast food
chains get you to spend more money, and the I
(22:07):
guess I'll go from seven to number one right now.
This is not a list terry in England. This is
a big board. It's not what I came up with.
So it's not you can't say you're doing list podcast.
I'm not you, jackass. Number number seven on the Big Board.
Number seven. Celebrity endorsements. The power of the celebrity. I
(22:29):
often wonder why why fast food restaurants partner with celebrities. Well,
turns out, sure enough, because people buy more fast food.
The Travis Scott meal with McDonald's was so successful that
they ran out of ingredients because people wanted to have
(22:52):
that connection with Travis Scott. So, celebrity endorsements they get
you to spend more money because you see the celebrity
and you're a sucker. First, celebta not you, but other people, toys,
toys and collectibles. Bob Bernstein, the guy that created the
(23:13):
Happy Meal in the late nineteen seventies, he said, big
advertising executive, he said, we were losing our endorsements of
the kids. He said, we wanted to re establish ourselves
with kids and the family and say we were kid friendly.
(23:33):
So they came up with that, and McDonald's ever since
it's like one of the top toy producers and all
we know the story about that. So these fast food chains,
Burger King and Wendy's have had issues trying to get
families because they don't give crap away, and McDonald's has
(23:53):
always been way ahead when it comes to giving the
crap away. Third party livery places like uber eats. Some
of you boys deliver Uber eats or it's not just
Uber Eats, but you do that kind of stuff, and
that is a way to drive up the price of food.
(24:14):
And this is what I don't get, Like, I'm glad
a lot of people pay for the food. And because
there's fellas that listen. I know FAMI and Minnesota for example,
and some of the other guys that are big fans
of the show aren't delivering Uber eats late at night.
So I'm glad you guys have employees, or not employees,
we have customers. The thing that just blows me always,
(24:34):
like the surcharge on that is so ridiculous that the
people that buy the food off uber eats often end
up spending twice as much money. We went over this
in a previous episode. And because they they end up
through delivery, you got to add the fees and the
tips and all that, so you end up paying a
ton ton extra for what is supposed to be a
(24:55):
cheap meal. Number four is the combo meal. You end
up getting food you don't want. You upsize the combo
because it's only a little bit more, and you end
up getting stuff that you didn't really want when you
went into the store. Number three is the dreaded kiosk. Yeah,
customers who ordered at the kiosk, we talked about this
(25:17):
in the past two but they spent almost ten percent
more than those that order from a human Now. The
reason that that works out the way it does is
because the people working at fast food restaurants just want
to get your order and get the hell to get
your way, and they want to make your food and
they want to move on to the next customer. But
(25:37):
the kiosk is ai. It's robotic, and they obviously don't care,
and so they upsell you. Say, would you like to
add fries? Would you like to add GUACAMOLEI would you
like to have add a stick up your ass? And
you're like, yeah, that was pretty good. I'd like to
add a stick up my ass. That's solid. I'll add that.
(25:57):
Why not, I'll coick the little button. It's only an
extra seventy five cents for the stick up my ass. Wonderful.
I was attracted to the giant metal cock number two,
the buy one, get one free option where people end
up not realizing that the price of they ignore the
(26:21):
high cost of the item the buy one item, and
they end up getting They think they're getting a better
deal because they're getting two items. But the they say,
the people that study this stuff, they claim, well, it's
drives up sales because people think they're getting better. And
then think about the write up the markup on this food.
(26:45):
If they raise the prices they give you two for one,
they're still making money on it, giving you two for
the price of one. So when you go in there
and buy one, what a ripoff that might be? Or
it must be? And N one number one is a
trick that every business, every retail business uses. It is
(27:06):
a weasel move in terms of pricing. So weasel move
and menu items are priced to end at what that's right,
ninety nine sense, kind of like when you buy gas,
you buy gasoline and they price it at ninety nine
(27:28):
cents at the end normally, normally now you know, one
of those other things. Sometimes they will not do that,
but normally it's they try to keep it right around
ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety nine percent. And it is
the term is psychological pricing. Psychological pricing. They are able
to trick you into thinking the price is significantly lower
(27:52):
than it is. It is a glitch that we all have.
And the marketing people who study human nature and so
they raise prices, and they know when they raise the price,
demand's gonna fall. But rather than go to five dollars,
if they go to four ninety nine, or rather than
(28:13):
go to four dollars and go to three ninety nine,
perception will be, hey, it's not that bad. I'm actually
getting a deal. It's not. It's not five dollars, it's
four ninety nine. If they change the name of five
guys to four ninety nine guys, that would be a
better deal, a much better deal. All right, time now
(28:34):
for the idiom of the week. The idiom of the
week on the Fifth Hour podcast. So the endeam this
week is a tribute. It is paying homage to Doc mic.
Now Doc Mike doesn't call the show as much anymore.
He's in Chicago. He's I'm still working, but he's busy
(28:59):
and he's not up and we're on anymore. So he
didn't call very often. But in honor of Doc Mike,
the idiom of the week is piss poor, piss poor,
the idiom of the week. Now, this is gonna be
amazing audio for the doc. The good doc. You got
the Doc, Doc Mike. So urine, that's right. Urine has
(29:20):
been used going back to the Roman times and even
before that as a preparatory item for tanning, to help
remove the hair from hides before applying tanning agents and whatnot.
The Romans the famous story they collected urine for the
(29:42):
purpose of systemically and for that purpose I should say systemically,
which is for the tanning and whatnot. And they even
the Emperor of Rome in the first century put attack
on piss. They put a tax on urine. Now that
(30:06):
was obviously way before any of us we're around from
that time, the the first century a d. The emperor.
I guess the guy's kid objected to the the tax
revenues they were making from urine. And the legend is
that the Emperor of Rome, the first Emperor uh Vespian
(30:31):
I believe is his name. Anyway, he responded by saying
to his son, money doesn't smell. And a version of
that line is still used today that you know, money
isn't tainted by how it starts. You know, it's all
money is good money. Blah blah blah blah blah. That
(30:52):
started because of the first first century Roman emperor. Now,
in terms of what we're dealing with here, the the
origins of the idiom piss poor. It actually has nothing
to do with tanny, It has nothing to do with
the Romans and none of that. The current theory suggests
(31:13):
that it was invented during the Second World War. That
there are the first written examples go back to nineteen
forty six, the year my late mother was born. Nineteen
forty six. And though it is still classified as slang,
(31:34):
and you know dictionaries and all that, the origins rather obvious, right,
piss began being attacked attached to a bunch of other words.
This is in the twentieth century to help kind of
jazz up their meaning, right, the jazz up the meaning
and all that. It was Ezra Pound who invented the
term piss rotten. Piss rotten. That would be in nineteen forty,
(32:02):
so we're going back a few years. Nineteen forty that
that began. And if you don't know Ezra Pound is
it was. He was a poet and a critic, an
American poet, so he came up with the term piss rotten.
And ever since then there's been piss easy, which means
something's very easy, piss weak, you are cowardly, you're pathetic,
(32:26):
piss elegant and that is refined and pretentious. You're piss elegant.
There's obviously piss ant. There's that means you're meaningless and small,
piss awful, which is very unpleasant, and piss poor. So
there he is. During the Second World War terms it
(32:48):
seems that some of the equipment was not not up
to snuff. Not up to snuff, shall we say. So
there it is. That is the idiom of the week,
piss poor. Get out on that. No NFL today, there's
some basketball. Make sure to check out Benny versus the
Pennies on Peacock. My guy Danny G will be producing
(33:09):
this podcast and he will be back with me on
the microphone. Should be back with me on the Saturday
Pod and the Sunday Pod. Have a wonderful Friday. Thank you,
thank you, thank you for listening to this podcast, and
we'll catch you next time later. Skater, huh asta pasta?
(33:32):
Did I get that right? Danny wrong? Arivaderce, you killed
it now, let's blow this popsicle stand Nah, all right,
the show's over, Go home, got a murder, I gotta
go