December 4, 2024 • 26 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental health podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, it’s the return of one of the most popular guests we’ve ever had on the podcast, Jay’s lovely wife Rosie Glazer! So many people have asked for a guidebook on how to find love later in life. So, with it being the giving season Rosie and Jay open up their journals and share a good 15 things they jotted down on their honeymoon that they’ve done to help get themselves into this position to find love and then to get themselves in a position where they don’t screw it up. For everyone out there… it’s never too late to find love!!!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome into a Breakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and well, this week we're gonna have
a special podcast. We have a return guest, and the
return guest it is her birthday, but it's also a
return guest and one of the most popular guests we've
ever had is my lovely wife, Rosalie Glazer.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Rosie Glazer, I'm a Rosie Tennyson.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But the reason why we're having Rosie on again is
we've told Rosie's story, but so many of you have asked, hey,
can you give us a guide?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
How did you find the love later in life? What
is it you two did to find a lot love in.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Your fifties and the outpouring of questions and I think
hope that we've given people is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But I said, you're right, let's give people guidebook.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Let's give people a little taste of what we did,
because there was a lot of work that.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Went into our journey. Right.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, So Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted
down a good fifteen things that we've done over the
last four years and in the past to get ourselves
into this position to find love and then get ourselves
in a position where we don't screw up love and
get ourselves in a position we take this love and
(01:27):
we've run with it to where we are right now.
We're going to go back and forth on certain different things.
But first of all, thanks for coming back here on
my podcast. And it was hard to get.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
This guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife,
which is super cool. And I just had a recent
name change. I'm changing my last name from Tennis andical Eazer,
which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so
that's really special.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's great and just you know, again, a lot of
hard work went into this for the two of us
to find love later on life. I never knew I
was capable of feeling this level of joy until Rosie.
Until this, I always thought that I'd sabotage everything. I
always thought that I would grow alone. And I think
you also had kind of made it almost a decision
(02:12):
right that, like, yeah, it's not going to happen, and
that's good. I'm just going to take care everybody else
in the world except for you.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I had always been looking for it, but I just
was like I was waiting. I was waiting for the
right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older and older,
and then at some point I was like, oh my gosh,
I'm like, you know, my fifties and I still haven't
found it. So it was really nice when I was
found you, and I was just preparing myself.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
All right, So let's.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Dive in here, right, We're going to go back and
forth here, I think i'll kind of you want me
to read back and forth?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah, right, So this is this isn't this isn't no order, okay,
of how we fell in love.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
This is the one that I used for the principles
that I used when I was single and looking for love.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
So first one here, good Rosie's okay.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So when you're single, it's the perfect time to work
on yourself so you could present the best version of
yourself to him worker. Nothing would be worse than meeting
mister Wright or meeting the right person at the wrong time.
So change your situation by working on your body, your mind,
your spirit, work on your self confidence so that when
the right person does come along, you're a more confident
(03:18):
and well rounded person, so you can attract yourself me
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So let's kind of expand on that here.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I think a lot of people look again, Rosie and
I what she's talking about here. In the past, I
would to sabotage everything, but I went and did so
much work, and Rosie and I broke up at one
point early on. She was you know, Rosie's for people
who don't know, she's an entrepreneur. She's owned thirty clothing
stores brick and mortar, and during COVID that was a
really hard time and she had to go save a
(03:45):
lot of brick and mortar stores, and at the time
was really hard for me. But the best thing that
ever happened was because I wasn't the best version myself.
I had to go work on myself become this version
that could accept this love when it was right. So
you did come into my life and save me now
at that point, but I was still up to my
old tricks sabotaging I was worthy.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I was pushing you away.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
And for people like me who my mental health tells
me you're not worthy of it, you tend to sabotage
because you know what's gonna end. The living in question
of when it's going to end is more painful than
an ending. So you forced it to end on your
timeline exactly. Sabotage.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Sabotage.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So I had to work do an awful lot of
work on myself to make sure when this time came
back around, we were in such a much better position were.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It's gonna be a forever love exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And so but some of the stuff that you worked
on also at that point.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And yeah, and at that time when because my situation was,
you know, I was still with my business and COVID,
so I just like I finally had fell in love,
but then I had all these other outside circumstances that
I just had to go take care of. And so
when we did break up, that's what I was just
working on, you know, my company and all these drama
(05:06):
with that. So I did that. But during that time,
you did a lot of work on yourself, which helped
us when we got back together. Yes, you started doing
as well, Gratitude lest you started doing a whole bunch
of your soul.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
You you really work on different things. You make sure
you work on I mean, you're always working on your body.
But but you kind of ramped it up and you know,
to help. I think the physical part helps between the
years also, but over time, Right, you have all these
little notebooks to you know that you would write these
lists to help prepare you to get yourself ready for
that day.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I was always preparing myself for when I met the
right person so I could be the best version of myself,
so that I didn't have control over when I was
going to meet that person. But what I did have
control over was my actions and what I could choose
to focus on, because sometimes you get discouraged because you're
like waiting and wanting, and that's what you experienced when
you're looking for your mister, Right, You're experiencing wanting and
(05:59):
wait and all these things you have no control over
of when you're going to meet that person, but you
do have control over what you can choose to focus on,
which is like the stuff I have control on, which
is my you know, mind, my body, my spirit, my career,
the things I had control over.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
So you know your own podcast is good, right.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So my first one was be Vulnerable, And you know,
for years I created this character to good women, right,
But it was a character.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It wasn't real, so nothing was sustainable for me on TV.
It was a mask. I wore a mask. I created
this character, so no one saw the pain that I
was in.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Once I started opening up to people about my depression anxiety,
that's when relationships began. And that's the biggest thing. It's
even happening. Like in football, I know of coaches saying
to me, I want.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Players who are vulnerable. I want a team team full.
So this is football players.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I want a team full of vulnerable people, right, these
are bad asses. So once I started doing that, I
think you know when I first met you, I was
the glades and I just come from this big meeting
and I was trying to show off about all the
things I had done, and you didn't really give a
shit about.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
That at all.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You could care less about that at all. Again, Rosie's
done it all. Rosie had a very, very, very successful
career modeling. She was a pioneer as a black model.
She broke the color barrier for Fredericks of Hollywood. She
for the first black model Fredericks of Hollywood. She step
thirty national ad campaigns. She was a playboy. She's in
Price is Right, right, and then she had a very
(07:30):
successful retail clothing company.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
So she didn't care about my businesses, my television.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
She did care about she saw me life coaching veterans
and players, and the vulnerability is what got you.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, that's what I first saw you, and that's what
I really like noticed. I was like, wow, this you
were doing something with MVP and you were helping all
these people and.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You were like just doing what you normally do.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But I was like, wow, this guy is out there
helping so many people, Like he's taking care of so
many people, but who's taking care of him?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Is what I wanted to know.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Because you're so you've always done that and that's what
attracted me the most to you and really like got
my attention.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So the point is be real and vulnerable and raw
and let that person like, let the person sitting on
the other side of that table at whatever date or
a bar or gay whatever you're up, let them see
that person, Let them like and love that person, because
that's sustainable and then you don't got to fake it,
you don't got.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
To show off. It can be real. Yeah right, yeah, Okay,
number three here is well I love this one too.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh, this one was, Yeah, this is one that I
really this is one that I still used to this day.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
And it's just your one away.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But you're just one way, one one away from meeting
that person who can change your life forever. You're one
person away from one loved way, one meeting away, one
dinner away, one conversation away from changing your life life.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, absolutely love that right, Like you never know,
And if I could just jump in here because just
you know, Rosie and I are kind of reading down
in our notes from our honeymoon, so we're kind of
going back, so a lot of it is you know, gibberous,
We just kind of see but like we didn't know
that that night all of a sudden and we met.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It's going to change your lives.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And that's me and that's exactly it could be.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Like just you're just like that one evening and that
one night was something that changed my life.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I was just went away from meeting this night, from
meeting you.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
And that's what like you have to always remember so
you don't get discouraged, because it's easy to get discouraged
when things aren't going your way and you're feeling like
it seems so far away, so far away, but you're
just literally one one chance encounter away that you're going
to meet that person and all of a sudden your
life changes. So instead of getting discouraged, just think that
you know and you want to prepare yourself, which I
(09:50):
talked about earlier, so when you do meet your one away,
you're actually you've got the best presentation of yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I love that when you said that to me, you
like just went away, and I'm like, you're right, because
I used to think I'm like, so far you got
to meet someone and then you got to court them,
and then you got to have everything fall.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
In place, and you know, it's just bam, my life changing.
It was one conversation. You and I have a conversation
about God.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah yeah, and we're.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Both very spiritual book but God people and you seem
religion or anything like that, we're just we're vulner and
we just talked about I talk about how God's my
best friend, and it took me a long time to
get to where I am, and I just wouldn't ask
God to help get me a job or get me money, or.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Make me rich, or make this happen and make that
It's just like Hey, I got it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Just I'm willing to get knocked down more than But
then plant be Up brushed me off and just let's
keep walking this walk together to.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Just have our numbers. And she's like, oh my god,
that's that's great.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And I said, I wake up every day, said I
love you God, because it's easier to go about life
and you have loved and it just changed.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Everything has one conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
It was we were to start one to wait, one conversation,
one meeting, one run, one night away from our lives changing.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Okay, sure's my second one. Both people have to change,
you know. They say, oh, don't want mean anybody who's
going to change you. That's garbage. You've got to change.
You both have to change right now the core are you.
You don't want anybody changing the core you. But you've
got to change. Like you know, Rosie and I both
had to what are they call it? Now? You give
it your your you meet in the middle. Compromising is changing.
(11:19):
But people are like, I don't want this. I'm not
going to change with this person. You gotta change. It's
two different lots. So I don't want you to be
hard at it. So I realized Okay, I've got to
change a lot of things to make it fit Rosie's life.
Rosie has changed a lot of things to fit my life,
and that's okay, So don't be hard headed about that.
So many of us we stand firm on that. A
lot of it is ego. If I didn't compromise, I
(11:41):
wouldn't be here with Rosie right now. She didn't compromise,
she wouldn't be here right now. And I think we're
both happier that we have to change for.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Each other exactly and compromise and communicate, which is really good,
so you both can get what you need out of
the relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
All right, here's your number three.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
So this is what you know I was.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
This is the third one is just say yes to opportunities,
opportunities instead of saying no, even if it doesn't sound
like seting you normally want to do, just do it.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
If you don't have one, If you don't the only
people who the FedEx guy in the ups.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
That's if you don't get out of your house and
you don't just get out there, could you never know
like it could be you could be.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You know, wherever.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
But you have exactly you have to to get out,
so you put yourself in situations that you normally wouldn't
be in it so you can meet other people. Because
when you're alone, it's it's easy to isolate and then
you're like, oh, I'm just going to stay here and
watch TV and hang out with my dog. But if
you're doing that, you're really your chances really go down.
So it's always even if you're.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Not in the mood.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
You know, fight that isolation like your life, love life
depends on it.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Because I want you to say that again.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
So fight the isolation like your love life depends on it,
because it actually does.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
That's great, and that's a lot of us sit here.
I'm gonna sit home and I'm not going to go out,
and nobody's gonna like me. I don't want to deal
with it at all. And then we just the isolation.
Mans just more depressed, and then it seems so much
further away. So as Rosie saying, yeah, just there was
a time I said, how do you mean guys? He said,
I talked to the FedEx guy. That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
You date the finest guy.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
She goes, No, it's really the only guy I see though,
because he comes to my business every day to drop
off packages. I said, how are you supposed to meet
the guys? She's like, well, that's why how to change? Yeah,
that's why you came over that time ready to.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Start coding, exactly because that was something I normally may
not have done because I had drive all the way
across town. But I did, and so by doing so,
that's what like, you know, I ended up meeting you
because we don't run in the same circles, we don't
hang around the same people. So I never would have
met you had I not did something different out.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Of the norm than I normal that I wouldn't do. So, right,
that's what you have.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
By the way, people are like, oh, of course she's
with your europe television this and that. Rosie does not
watch sports. She had no idea. No I was, and
Rosie had her own money, I mean, nothing to do
with it. In fact, one of in one of her
business was going through with COVID. My gay bab, I'm
gonna jump in. She's like, absolutely not. I'm not going
to be like every other girl who's.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Taken from you. If anything, I'll help you.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
You're not gonna help me, right, Yeah, you were operating
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But I was like, you know what, I got myself
into this mess, I'll get myself out, which I did
and that felt good to work.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
And you know, like do what I have to do.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And by the way, the message, you know, really again
had these clothing stories in covid Here in California, nothing
open and rent you gotta pay a rent.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Really, nothing's opening. It was just it was hard for us.
I'm break uple.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Everywhere in Caltown. Okay, So here's my next one. This
is our sixth point. Here, be reassuring without having to
be asked for assured. So in other words, like a
lot of times a lot of us have these insecurities, right,
and the only time a lot of us and we
get the reassurance after we melt down about it, after
(14:54):
we do something about it. So be proactive when you
are with that person. Reassure let them know how much
you love.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
I tell you you're.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
So yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, we both do that.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And who also come to me, how you doing today?
What's going on with you today? And if you see
them off, hey, what's going on with you today? You
don't you won't wait for me to melt down. If
we're assure me Hey, Hey, what's what's going on. Hey,
let's go do something together. Hey, I got you today.
So even if Rosie has something else going on, she
reassures me everything is going to be okay with us.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And that was me. I had abandonment issues, which is weird.
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Look, it's not my folks. My folks didn't leave her
anything like that, and I think I kind of know why.
But but she constantly reassures me. And I think you
never get tired of it, right, and that's at all.
Don't make me feel like I'm tired of always reassuring you.
A lot of us are in a place where, again,
we're never felt that we're worthy of being loved. So
(15:48):
it's odd for us, and we always think it's going
to go away and get taken away.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So spend your life were assuring the next person you're
really good at that.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Right, you spend your life doing that. And also the
kind of part of it that is you're on the
same team. Okay. So the reassuring thing is we don't
even win arguments, right, we give each other multiple get
out of jail.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
For you, and you know what we don't hold. I
don't hold a grudge at all. If we like have
a disagreement or whatever, I shake it off.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I don't carry it on.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I'm just like, you know what, I forget and forget,
and that's how it should be so your relationship can
can move on. Because if you're always keeping score and
always holding a grudge and always coming at that angle,
then it's really hard for the other person to get
off the hook.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And that's one of the greatest things. You don't try
and win arguments.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I do sometimes, and then at the end of it,
I'm like, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, And no matter what,
I make sure she's good. We never go to bed
angry any show like. We always make sure we talk
it up, because that's part of the reassurance. I can't
have a night living in question of oh I gonna
wake up and she's gonna be gone, Like, we just
make sure it ends there.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
That's one of the things Rosie does for me. She goes, hey,
I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I got you, even if she's angry, she does it,
And that's the part of again not keeping score, right,
And so you'll try and break up situations for me,
But at the same time with you. Also, like you've
had some rough things, you know, with your dog passing
or your business something. I always made sure that I
made everything else in your life great.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, so we won't you Sure, you're definitely that's you're
very very supportive and reassuring.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
So if you're your husband or wife are struggling with
work or something like that, just reassure them with your
words but also with your actions and make it every day.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And every night thing.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
And sometimes the person just needs to communicate and talk
and just get it all out and then you can
move on from there here baby. So so yeah, and
then like when when I was, when I did get
my opportunity to find date or whatever, you just have
to get really interested in the person that's sitting across
from you. That's one of the biggest turn ons is
(17:54):
showing interest in everything you know. That's you so share
the real stuff and not what you think that people
want to hear. Just really, you know, get to know them,
and you know, listen just as much as you talk.
So then that way they can get to know you.
You can get to know them, but really be interested
in getting to know them.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I think that's a turn on.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Too. I think the biggest takeaway from that bit is
when we go on dates, we tend to lead with
our highlights and like us. So instead of talking about
the other person, you're trying to lead what's so great
about you to the person who like you. What Rosie
is saying the thing that she loved the most is
again she didn't know anything about sports or football or anything.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
That, although crazy part is what real. Here's my add Giffin.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Rosie actually graduating UCLA with broadcast journalism and in turn
at Fox Sports in the nineties before I ever got there.
I'm like, hey, we didn't have anybody is when you
were doing Playboy. You don't have anybody in the research
department through Playboy like you got to kidd me. But
oh my god. But so even with that, she knows
nothing about sports. So the biggest thing I could do
(18:59):
with hers, hey tell me about you, telling about your life,
and she still says to me, hey, ask more about me,
because I get self absorbed.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm in my football world that ask more about me.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Now we're a point where then we know everything about
each other for the most part, but if something does
come up, I know what she what turns around the
most is for me to ask more about her, her family,
her upbringing, her journey, her story. So instead of leaving
with all your highlights, the highlights should be that person
across from.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
You, exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
And that's that's and that's a turn on for there
or just and it's like, it's attractive to if someone's
really interested in you and they want to find out
where you you know, how your family was and growing
up and just just anything that's it's very right, it's
really good quality.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Next one here, shower your partner with compliments.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
You're really good at that you do every day every day.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
My job is and lift her up. My friend J. C.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Blick is saying, we lift while we climb, And you
know that's what you're doing together with your partner. You
guys are climbing together. You're climbing these mountains, you're climbing
these hurdles. You don't need guide books when things are great.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, it's when things aren't so great that you really
wanted you have.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
To do the work. So we got to climb over together.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So if you're constantly building your partner up, when the
rough stuff happens, you're both at a higher level to
jump over those to hurdle them. If you're both sitting
there in this pit, you got a much higher level,
You got much more room to go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
To jump it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, and sometimes you're like, when one person's life is
good at that time, the other one's not. So it's like,
you know, it's always like it's very rare that both
partners everything's going great at the same time.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
So it's good.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
If another person's you know, a little weak, then you
can be strong. And it's it's it's given a take, right,
all right, So number ten here, Oh I think this
might be yours, but I think this is yours. This
is yours?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, okay, well okay, well because yeah, this.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Is not like how I would talk about.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I think I wrote it down for it, but
it was your thing like those, well it's the two
of them.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, business, we're the old rules like there used to be.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Oh yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
The book there's a book basically about how to date.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And it was like if they text, don't text back,
wait two days wait that rules of change total.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Wait, yeah, you can't because if you're if you're playing
hard to get and you're like not if someone you know,
I think those rules have changed. So if someone texts
you and or text you and you want to text
them back, text them back and respond, don't be like, oh,
they always have to be the one to make the move,
because then the guy or the girl might be like, oh.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
They're not interested because there's so many get.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
It's tender in this and that, and then mumble in whatever.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Right, well, you can just it's it's your turner tips
Like back in the day, you could afford to do
it even though I don't agree with it. Then even
back then, like I'm gonna express a person and be
like I like this person, I'm gonna call and they'll
be like, oh, no, this person called.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Too soon exactly exactly, or you know, sometimes it's nice
to sit of thinking of you or whatever, so a
person they're on the mind, because if you're just making
the other person do all the work that it really
appears like they're maybe you're not interested, and you play
to your to get then they give up. So that's
a really important one is that, Yeah, don't play games
by not texting back right away or playing you know
(22:08):
hard to get show interest in that you're genuinely interested.
If you have fun, express it put out enough to
where the person is filled with hope that you want
to they want you.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Guys want to see each other again.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Then if you're playing too hard to get and you're
waiting for them to do all the work, then they
just give up.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Because it's like, oh, she's not interested. So that's like
I would, I would find.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Reasons to reach out to you.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Now again, like Rosie's very successful business career, So I
was at that point, I'm like, hey, do you have
an attorney for this or do you have some different
So for my business, visus unbreakable, and I would just
kind of come up with excuses to.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
To just stay.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
And then when I would ask her about it, we
just talked for a little bit. We got to know
each other, so I didn't and I understand. Look, there's
a balance of people going, oh my gosh, this person's crazy,
but also how about this for something, If someone's texting, calling,
maybe they're not needy, maybe they just really like you exactly,
and that's for you lot.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
But you if they don't call, then you're like, wait,
they're not calling her.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
But when they do, you have to like be you know,
it goes, it goes a ping pong.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
If you so, then you can get you know, the
relationship going.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
But also like if someone isn't needy and you guys
kind of meet in this middle.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Here, like I was very neat, yeah, but you're not
not so much now.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Turned into me run away from that, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
But you've changed because I've reassured you that you know
I'm not going anywhere, and it's something that you know
through time, Like it's not you're not that way at all, right,
But and.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Like like my mental health issues, the depression tells me
that like a lot of times I wake up.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
In the morning like everybody hates me. Yeah, I know
the universe. Everybody hates me.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
All my friends hate me, and it sucks, like and
I didn't sign up for this, Like I don't want
to live life like this. I don't mean to here.
I I'm fifty turn in fifty four and I still
have it. So if I control it, I would, but
I can't. And it's just how I wake up. And
it's like it could be in the middle of a
day or someone doesn't call me back. A lot of
(24:05):
times somebody doesn't calling back, I'm like, ah, they're business,
but sometimes they I'm calling back and I just think that, oh,
this person just hates me, this person's angry.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
So it's something that's still there.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So that's the whole thing of like I was very needy,
but she constantly was like, Okay, I'm going to work
on that with him.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
And now look what you got.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah, and you're way more sure, you're right, more confident,
and it's something that it built over time and now
you know that.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Yeah, sometimes it's just right.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
And part of this and I'm going to jump in again.
The playing field is different now than always ask me right.
So there's apps, there's social media, there's I say that
playing feels different is people are constantly posting their highlights
or what they think you want to hear. We brought
that up before, where they think you want to hear,
and that isn't a connection. But also because this world
(24:59):
is so in there's so many things that we get
so wrapped up. Data takes up so much of our
brain that we might get blown off or pushed away.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It may have nothing to do with us whatsoever.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, don't take things personal because sometimes you do, and
you like think that there's something wrong with you or
why you know, what's the matter with me?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
But it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Sometimes it's not. So just that's a good advice. I
could get someone to just don't take things personal, right
and then.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Just hey, thing's good.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
And like for Rose again, in the early days, it
was hard for her to come see me a lot
because she had all these stores and in COVID she
had everybody aroundages off and everybody off, so she had
a bounce around all over this but from Stuart to
store to store, and she didn't have the time for me.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
And I liked you. I just I was in a
situation where like during that yes, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Look, I like you. It's not you.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I just have all these responsibilities. So really, again, over communicate,
I really do like you. I know it's going to
seem like I don't want to see you, but hey,
and know she would over communicate.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Here's my schedule.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, I'm working eighteen hours days I have but also
you make the effort like I have one hour on
this day and I'm one free hour and if you
can get over here, I'd love to spend it with you, right,
do it?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And you're sacrificed too.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
You'd be like, well, I'm exhausted, but no, but I've
got to put I've got to work.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
On this right.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
And sometimes I'm like that, it never happens when you're
thinking it's going to happen like that. When we met,
it was, you know, in awkward, like the timing was
a little off, but we made it work.
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome into a Breakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.
I'm Jay Glazer and well, this week we're gonna have
a special podcast. We have a return guest, and the
return guest it is her birthday, but it's also a
return guest and one of the most popular guests we've
ever had is my lovely wife, Rosalie Glazer.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Rosie Glazer, I'm a Rosie Tennyson.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But the reason why we're having Rosie on again is
we've told Rosie's story, but so many of you have asked, hey,
can you give us a guide?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
How did you find the love later in life? What
is it you two did to find a lot love in.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Your fifties and the outpouring of questions and I think
hope that we've given people is fantastic.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
But I said, you're right, let's give people guidebook.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Let's give people a little taste of what we did,
because there was a lot of work that.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Went into our journey. Right.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Yeah, So Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted
down a good fifteen things that we've done over the
last four years and in the past to get ourselves
into this position to find love and then get ourselves
in a position where we don't screw up love and
get ourselves in a position we take this love and
(01:27):
we've run with it to where we are right now.
We're going to go back and forth on certain different things.
But first of all, thanks for coming back here on
my podcast. And it was hard to get.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
This guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife,
which is super cool. And I just had a recent
name change. I'm changing my last name from Tennis andical Eazer,
which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so
that's really special.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
It's great and just you know, again, a lot of
hard work went into this for the two of us
to find love later on life. I never knew I
was capable of feeling this level of joy until Rosie.
Until this, I always thought that I'd sabotage everything. I
always thought that I would grow alone. And I think
you also had kind of made it almost a decision
(02:12):
right that, like, yeah, it's not going to happen, and
that's good. I'm just going to take care everybody else
in the world except for you.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I had always been looking for it, but I just
was like I was waiting. I was waiting for the
right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older and older,
and then at some point I was like, oh my gosh,
I'm like, you know, my fifties and I still haven't
found it. So it was really nice when I was
found you, and I was just preparing myself.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
All right, So let's.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Dive in here, right, We're going to go back and
forth here, I think i'll kind of you want me
to read back and forth?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah, right, So this is this isn't this isn't no order, okay,
of how we fell in love.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
This is the one that I used for the principles
that I used when I was single and looking for love.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
So first one here, good Rosie's okay.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
So when you're single, it's the perfect time to work
on yourself so you could present the best version of
yourself to him worker. Nothing would be worse than meeting
mister Wright or meeting the right person at the wrong time.
So change your situation by working on your body, your mind,
your spirit, work on your self confidence so that when
the right person does come along, you're a more confident
(03:18):
and well rounded person, so you can attract yourself me
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
So let's kind of expand on that here.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I think a lot of people look again, Rosie and
I what she's talking about here. In the past, I
would to sabotage everything, but I went and did so
much work, and Rosie and I broke up at one
point early on. She was you know, Rosie's for people
who don't know, she's an entrepreneur. She's owned thirty clothing
stores brick and mortar, and during COVID that was a
really hard time and she had to go save a
(03:45):
lot of brick and mortar stores, and at the time
was really hard for me. But the best thing that
ever happened was because I wasn't the best version myself.
I had to go work on myself become this version
that could accept this love when it was right. So
you did come into my life and save me now
at that point, but I was still up to my
old tricks sabotaging I was worthy.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I was pushing you away.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
And for people like me who my mental health tells
me you're not worthy of it, you tend to sabotage
because you know what's gonna end. The living in question
of when it's going to end is more painful than
an ending. So you forced it to end on your
timeline exactly. Sabotage.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
Sabotage.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So I had to work do an awful lot of
work on myself to make sure when this time came
back around, we were in such a much better position were.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
It's gonna be a forever love exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
And so but some of the stuff that you worked
on also at that point.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
And yeah, and at that time when because my situation was,
you know, I was still with my business and COVID,
so I just like I finally had fell in love,
but then I had all these other outside circumstances that
I just had to go take care of. And so
when we did break up, that's what I was just
working on, you know, my company and all these drama
(05:06):
with that. So I did that. But during that time,
you did a lot of work on yourself, which helped
us when we got back together. Yes, you started doing
as well, Gratitude lest you started doing a whole bunch
of your soul.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
You you really work on different things. You make sure
you work on I mean, you're always working on your body.
But but you kind of ramped it up and you know,
to help. I think the physical part helps between the
years also, but over time, Right, you have all these
little notebooks to you know that you would write these
lists to help prepare you to get yourself ready for
that day.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
I was always preparing myself for when I met the
right person so I could be the best version of myself,
so that I didn't have control over when I was
going to meet that person. But what I did have
control over was my actions and what I could choose
to focus on, because sometimes you get discouraged because you're
like waiting and wanting, and that's what you experienced when
you're looking for your mister, Right, You're experiencing wanting and
(05:59):
wait and all these things you have no control over
of when you're going to meet that person, but you
do have control over what you can choose to focus on,
which is like the stuff I have control on, which
is my you know, mind, my body, my spirit, my career,
the things I had control over.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
So you know your own podcast is good, right.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So my first one was be Vulnerable, And you know,
for years I created this character to good women, right,
But it was a character.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It wasn't real, so nothing was sustainable for me on TV.
It was a mask. I wore a mask. I created
this character, so no one saw the pain that I
was in.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Once I started opening up to people about my depression anxiety,
that's when relationships began. And that's the biggest thing. It's
even happening. Like in football, I know of coaches saying
to me, I want.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Players who are vulnerable. I want a team team full.
So this is football players.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I want a team full of vulnerable people, right, these
are bad asses. So once I started doing that, I
think you know when I first met you, I was
the glades and I just come from this big meeting
and I was trying to show off about all the
things I had done, and you didn't really give a
shit about.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
That at all.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You could care less about that at all. Again, Rosie's
done it all. Rosie had a very, very, very successful
career modeling. She was a pioneer as a black model.
She broke the color barrier for Fredericks of Hollywood. She
for the first black model Fredericks of Hollywood. She step
thirty national ad campaigns. She was a playboy. She's in
Price is Right, right, and then she had a very
(07:30):
successful retail clothing company.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
So she didn't care about my businesses, my television.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
She did care about she saw me life coaching veterans
and players, and the vulnerability is what got you.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, that's what I first saw you, and that's what
I really like noticed. I was like, wow, this you
were doing something with MVP and you were helping all
these people and.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
You were like just doing what you normally do.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
But I was like, wow, this guy is out there
helping so many people, Like he's taking care of so
many people, but who's taking care of him?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Is what I wanted to know.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Because you're so you've always done that and that's what
attracted me the most to you and really like got
my attention.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
So the point is be real and vulnerable and raw
and let that person like, let the person sitting on
the other side of that table at whatever date or
a bar or gay whatever you're up, let them see
that person, Let them like and love that person, because
that's sustainable and then you don't got to fake it,
you don't got.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
To show off. It can be real. Yeah right, yeah, Okay,
number three here is well I love this one too.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Oh, this one was, Yeah, this is one that I
really this is one that I still used to this day.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
And it's just your one away.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
But you're just one way, one one away from meeting
that person who can change your life forever. You're one
person away from one loved way, one meeting away, one
dinner away, one conversation away from changing your life life.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, absolutely love that right, Like you never know,
And if I could just jump in here because just
you know, Rosie and I are kind of reading down
in our notes from our honeymoon, so we're kind of
going back, so a lot of it is you know, gibberous,
We just kind of see but like we didn't know
that that night all of a sudden and we met.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
It's going to change your lives.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
And that's me and that's exactly it could be.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Like just you're just like that one evening and that
one night was something that changed my life.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
I was just went away from meeting this night, from
meeting you.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
And that's what like you have to always remember so
you don't get discouraged, because it's easy to get discouraged
when things aren't going your way and you're feeling like
it seems so far away, so far away, but you're
just literally one one chance encounter away that you're going
to meet that person and all of a sudden your
life changes. So instead of getting discouraged, just think that
you know and you want to prepare yourself, which I
(09:50):
talked about earlier, so when you do meet your one away,
you're actually you've got the best presentation of yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I love that when you said that to me, you
like just went away, and I'm like, you're right, because
I used to think I'm like, so far you got
to meet someone and then you got to court them,
and then you got to have everything fall.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
In place, and you know, it's just bam, my life changing.
It was one conversation. You and I have a conversation
about God.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Yeah yeah, and we're.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Both very spiritual book but God people and you seem
religion or anything like that, we're just we're vulner and
we just talked about I talk about how God's my
best friend, and it took me a long time to
get to where I am, and I just wouldn't ask
God to help get me a job or get me money, or.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Make me rich, or make this happen and make that
It's just like Hey, I got it.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Just I'm willing to get knocked down more than But
then plant be Up brushed me off and just let's
keep walking this walk together to.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
Just have our numbers. And she's like, oh my god,
that's that's great.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
And I said, I wake up every day, said I
love you God, because it's easier to go about life
and you have loved and it just changed.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Everything has one conversation.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
It was we were to start one to wait, one conversation,
one meeting, one run, one night away from our lives changing.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Okay, sure's my second one. Both people have to change,
you know. They say, oh, don't want mean anybody who's
going to change you. That's garbage. You've got to change.
You both have to change right now the core are you.
You don't want anybody changing the core you. But you've
got to change. Like you know, Rosie and I both
had to what are they call it? Now? You give
it your your you meet in the middle. Compromising is changing.
(11:19):
But people are like, I don't want this. I'm not
going to change with this person. You gotta change. It's
two different lots. So I don't want you to be
hard at it. So I realized Okay, I've got to
change a lot of things to make it fit Rosie's life.
Rosie has changed a lot of things to fit my life,
and that's okay, So don't be hard headed about that.
So many of us we stand firm on that. A
lot of it is ego. If I didn't compromise, I
(11:41):
wouldn't be here with Rosie right now. She didn't compromise,
she wouldn't be here right now. And I think we're
both happier that we have to change for.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Each other exactly and compromise and communicate, which is really good,
so you both can get what you need out of
the relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
All right, here's your number three.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
So this is what you know I was.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
This is the third one is just say yes to opportunities,
opportunities instead of saying no, even if it doesn't sound
like seting you normally want to do, just do it.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
If you don't have one, If you don't the only
people who the FedEx guy in the ups.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
That's if you don't get out of your house and
you don't just get out there, could you never know
like it could be you could be.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You know, wherever.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
But you have exactly you have to to get out,
so you put yourself in situations that you normally wouldn't
be in it so you can meet other people. Because
when you're alone, it's it's easy to isolate and then
you're like, oh, I'm just going to stay here and
watch TV and hang out with my dog. But if
you're doing that, you're really your chances really go down.
So it's always even if you're.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Not in the mood.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
You know, fight that isolation like your life, love life
depends on it.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Because I want you to say that again.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
So fight the isolation like your love life depends on it,
because it actually does.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
That's great, and that's a lot of us sit here.
I'm gonna sit home and I'm not going to go out,
and nobody's gonna like me. I don't want to deal
with it at all. And then we just the isolation.
Mans just more depressed, and then it seems so much
further away. So as Rosie saying, yeah, just there was
a time I said, how do you mean guys? He said,
I talked to the FedEx guy. That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
You date the finest guy.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
She goes, No, it's really the only guy I see though,
because he comes to my business every day to drop
off packages. I said, how are you supposed to meet
the guys? She's like, well, that's why how to change? Yeah,
that's why you came over that time ready to.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Start coding, exactly because that was something I normally may
not have done because I had drive all the way
across town. But I did, and so by doing so,
that's what like, you know, I ended up meeting you
because we don't run in the same circles, we don't
hang around the same people. So I never would have
met you had I not did something different out.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
Of the norm than I normal that I wouldn't do. So, right,
that's what you have.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
By the way, people are like, oh, of course she's
with your europe television this and that. Rosie does not
watch sports. She had no idea. No I was, and
Rosie had her own money, I mean, nothing to do
with it. In fact, one of in one of her
business was going through with COVID. My gay bab, I'm
gonna jump in. She's like, absolutely not. I'm not going
to be like every other girl who's.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Taken from you. If anything, I'll help you.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
You're not gonna help me, right, Yeah, you were operating
and stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But I was like, you know what, I got myself
into this mess, I'll get myself out, which I did
and that felt good to work.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
And you know, like do what I have to do.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
And by the way, the message, you know, really again
had these clothing stories in covid Here in California, nothing
open and rent you gotta pay a rent.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Really, nothing's opening. It was just it was hard for us.
I'm break uple.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Everywhere in Caltown. Okay, So here's my next one. This
is our sixth point. Here, be reassuring without having to
be asked for assured. So in other words, like a
lot of times a lot of us have these insecurities, right,
and the only time a lot of us and we
get the reassurance after we melt down about it, after
(14:54):
we do something about it. So be proactive when you
are with that person. Reassure let them know how much
you love.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
I tell you you're.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
So yeah.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Yeah, we both do that.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And who also come to me, how you doing today?
What's going on with you today? And if you see
them off, hey, what's going on with you today? You
don't you won't wait for me to melt down. If
we're assure me Hey, Hey, what's what's going on. Hey,
let's go do something together. Hey, I got you today.
So even if Rosie has something else going on, she
reassures me everything is going to be okay with us.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
And that was me. I had abandonment issues, which is weird.
I don't know why.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Look, it's not my folks. My folks didn't leave her
anything like that, and I think I kind of know why.
But but she constantly reassures me. And I think you
never get tired of it, right, and that's at all.
Don't make me feel like I'm tired of always reassuring you.
A lot of us are in a place where, again,
we're never felt that we're worthy of being loved. So
(15:48):
it's odd for us, and we always think it's going
to go away and get taken away.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So spend your life were assuring the next person you're
really good at that.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Right, you spend your life doing that. And also the
kind of part of it that is you're on the
same team. Okay. So the reassuring thing is we don't
even win arguments, right, we give each other multiple get
out of jail.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
For you, and you know what we don't hold. I
don't hold a grudge at all. If we like have
a disagreement or whatever, I shake it off.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I don't carry it on.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I'm just like, you know what, I forget and forget,
and that's how it should be so your relationship can
can move on. Because if you're always keeping score and
always holding a grudge and always coming at that angle,
then it's really hard for the other person to get
off the hook.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
And that's one of the greatest things. You don't try
and win arguments.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I do sometimes, and then at the end of it,
I'm like, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, And no matter what,
I make sure she's good. We never go to bed
angry any show like. We always make sure we talk
it up, because that's part of the reassurance. I can't
have a night living in question of oh I gonna
wake up and she's gonna be gone, Like, we just
make sure it ends there.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
That's one of the things Rosie does for me. She goes, hey,
I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I got you, even if she's angry, she does it,
And that's the part of again not keeping score, right,
And so you'll try and break up situations for me,
But at the same time with you. Also, like you've
had some rough things, you know, with your dog passing
or your business something. I always made sure that I
made everything else in your life great.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
Yeah, so we won't you Sure, you're definitely that's you're
very very supportive and reassuring.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
So if you're your husband or wife are struggling with
work or something like that, just reassure them with your
words but also with your actions and make it every day.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And every night thing.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
And sometimes the person just needs to communicate and talk
and just get it all out and then you can
move on from there here baby. So so yeah, and
then like when when I was, when I did get
my opportunity to find date or whatever, you just have
to get really interested in the person that's sitting across
from you. That's one of the biggest turn ons is
(17:54):
showing interest in everything you know. That's you so share
the real stuff and not what you think that people
want to hear. Just really, you know, get to know them,
and you know, listen just as much as you talk.
So then that way they can get to know you.
You can get to know them, but really be interested
in getting to know them.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
I think that's a turn on.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Too. I think the biggest takeaway from that bit is
when we go on dates, we tend to lead with
our highlights and like us. So instead of talking about
the other person, you're trying to lead what's so great
about you to the person who like you. What Rosie
is saying the thing that she loved the most is
again she didn't know anything about sports or football or anything.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
That, although crazy part is what real. Here's my add Giffin.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Rosie actually graduating UCLA with broadcast journalism and in turn
at Fox Sports in the nineties before I ever got there.
I'm like, hey, we didn't have anybody is when you
were doing Playboy. You don't have anybody in the research
department through Playboy like you got to kidd me. But
oh my god. But so even with that, she knows
nothing about sports. So the biggest thing I could do
(18:59):
with hers, hey tell me about you, telling about your life,
and she still says to me, hey, ask more about me,
because I get self absorbed.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I'm in my football world that ask more about me.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Now we're a point where then we know everything about
each other for the most part, but if something does
come up, I know what she what turns around the
most is for me to ask more about her, her family,
her upbringing, her journey, her story. So instead of leaving
with all your highlights, the highlights should be that person
across from.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
You, exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
And that's that's and that's a turn on for there
or just and it's like, it's attractive to if someone's
really interested in you and they want to find out
where you you know, how your family was and growing
up and just just anything that's it's very right, it's
really good quality.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Next one here, shower your partner with compliments.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
You're really good at that you do every day every day.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
My job is and lift her up. My friend J. C.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Blick is saying, we lift while we climb, And you
know that's what you're doing together with your partner. You
guys are climbing together. You're climbing these mountains, you're climbing
these hurdles. You don't need guide books when things are great.
Speaker 4 (20:02):
Yeah, it's when things aren't so great that you really
wanted you have.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
To do the work. So we got to climb over together.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So if you're constantly building your partner up, when the
rough stuff happens, you're both at a higher level to
jump over those to hurdle them. If you're both sitting
there in this pit, you got a much higher level,
You got much more room to go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
To jump it.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
Yeah, and sometimes you're like, when one person's life is
good at that time, the other one's not. So it's like,
you know, it's always like it's very rare that both
partners everything's going great at the same time.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
So it's good.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
If another person's you know, a little weak, then you
can be strong. And it's it's it's given a take, right,
all right, So number ten here, Oh I think this
might be yours, but I think this is yours. This
is yours?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, okay, well okay, well because yeah, this.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Is not like how I would talk about.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Yeah, I think I wrote it down for it, but
it was your thing like those, well it's the two
of them.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, business, we're the old rules like there used to be.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Oh yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
The book there's a book basically about how to date.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And it was like if they text, don't text back,
wait two days wait that rules of change total.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Wait, yeah, you can't because if you're if you're playing
hard to get and you're like not if someone you know,
I think those rules have changed. So if someone texts
you and or text you and you want to text
them back, text them back and respond, don't be like, oh,
they always have to be the one to make the move,
because then the guy or the girl might be like, oh.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
They're not interested because there's so many get.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
It's tender in this and that, and then mumble in whatever.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Right, well, you can just it's it's your turner tips
Like back in the day, you could afford to do
it even though I don't agree with it. Then even
back then, like I'm gonna express a person and be
like I like this person, I'm gonna call and they'll
be like, oh, no, this person called.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Too soon exactly exactly, or you know, sometimes it's nice
to sit of thinking of you or whatever, so a
person they're on the mind, because if you're just making
the other person do all the work that it really
appears like they're maybe you're not interested, and you play
to your to get then they give up. So that's
a really important one is that, Yeah, don't play games
by not texting back right away or playing you know
(22:08):
hard to get show interest in that you're genuinely interested.
If you have fun, express it put out enough to
where the person is filled with hope that you want
to they want you.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Guys want to see each other again.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Then if you're playing too hard to get and you're
waiting for them to do all the work, then they
just give up.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Because it's like, oh, she's not interested. So that's like
I would, I would find.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Reasons to reach out to you.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Now again, like Rosie's very successful business career, So I
was at that point, I'm like, hey, do you have
an attorney for this or do you have some different
So for my business, visus unbreakable, and I would just
kind of come up with excuses to.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
To just stay.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
And then when I would ask her about it, we
just talked for a little bit. We got to know
each other, so I didn't and I understand. Look, there's
a balance of people going, oh my gosh, this person's crazy,
but also how about this for something, If someone's texting, calling,
maybe they're not needy, maybe they just really like you exactly,
and that's for you lot.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
But you if they don't call, then you're like, wait,
they're not calling her.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
But when they do, you have to like be you know,
it goes, it goes a ping pong.
Speaker 4 (23:08):
If you so, then you can get you know, the
relationship going.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
But also like if someone isn't needy and you guys
kind of meet in this middle.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Here, like I was very neat, yeah, but you're not
not so much now.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Turned into me run away from that, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
But you've changed because I've reassured you that you know
I'm not going anywhere, and it's something that you know
through time, Like it's not you're not that way at all, right,
But and.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Like like my mental health issues, the depression tells me
that like a lot of times I wake up.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
In the morning like everybody hates me. Yeah, I know
the universe. Everybody hates me.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
All my friends hate me, and it sucks, like and
I didn't sign up for this, Like I don't want
to live life like this. I don't mean to here.
I I'm fifty turn in fifty four and I still
have it. So if I control it, I would, but
I can't. And it's just how I wake up. And
it's like it could be in the middle of a
day or someone doesn't call me back. A lot of
(24:05):
times somebody doesn't calling back, I'm like, ah, they're business,
but sometimes they I'm calling back and I just think that, oh,
this person just hates me, this person's angry.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
So it's something that's still there.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
So that's the whole thing of like I was very needy,
but she constantly was like, Okay, I'm going to work
on that with him.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
And now look what you got.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah, and you're way more sure, you're right, more confident,
and it's something that it built over time and now
you know that.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
Yeah, sometimes it's just right.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
And part of this and I'm going to jump in again.
The playing field is different now than always ask me right.
So there's apps, there's social media, there's I say that
playing feels different is people are constantly posting their highlights
or what they think you want to hear. We brought
that up before, where they think you want to hear,
and that isn't a connection. But also because this world
(24:59):
is so in there's so many things that we get
so wrapped up. Data takes up so much of our
brain that we might get blown off or pushed away.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It may have nothing to do with us whatsoever.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Yeah, don't take things personal because sometimes you do, and
you like think that there's something wrong with you or
why you know, what's the matter with me?
Speaker 4 (25:18):
But it's not.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Sometimes it's not. So just that's a good advice. I
could get someone to just don't take things personal, right
and then.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Just hey, thing's good.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
And like for Rose again, in the early days, it
was hard for her to come see me a lot
because she had all these stores and in COVID she
had everybody aroundages off and everybody off, so she had
a bounce around all over this but from Stuart to
store to store, and she didn't have the time for me.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
And I liked you. I just I was in a
situation where like during that yes, and you're like.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Look, I like you. It's not you.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
I just have all these responsibilities. So really, again, over communicate,
I really do like you. I know it's going to
seem like I don't want to see you, but hey,
and know she would over communicate.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Here's my schedule.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, I'm working eighteen hours days I have but also
you make the effort like I have one hour on
this day and I'm one free hour and if you
can get over here, I'd love to spend it with you, right,
do it?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And you're sacrificed too.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
You'd be like, well, I'm exhausted, but no, but I've
got to put I've got to work.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
On this right.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
And sometimes I'm like that, it never happens when you're
thinking it's going to happen like that. When we met,
it was, you know, in awkward, like the timing was
a little off, but we made it work.
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Jason Smith
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