November 18, 2025 • 40 mins
Do you think you’re burnt out? Do you feel like you’re in constant work mode taking on more stress? Amy Leneker is a former corporate executive turned motivational speaker and author who after over 100 stress-induced panic attacks in 3 months left her job, shifted her focus and life, and now helps others break the cycle of exhaustion, overwhelm, and self-doubt. Amy joined us to help you stop stress in its tracks!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Night Side with Dan Ray. I'm telling you Boston's
Knees Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It was just about a week ago. Well, little let's
more than a week less than a week ago. Yeah,
less than a week ago. I had an interesting guest
during the eight o'clock hour. Her name is Amy Lennaker
uh and she talked about stress awareness and work and
she's written a book called Cheers to Monday, The Surprisingly
(00:32):
Simple Method to Lead and Live with Less Stress and
More Joy. Uh I really enjoyed my conversation with her.
She's a former C suite executive uh and is now
a trusted leadership advisor to Fortune one hundred companies and
public sector organizations. Stress isn't about the price of success.
(00:54):
It's the thief that steals it, and she proves it.
Proves it in her new book, The Surprisingly Simple Method
to Lead and Live with Less Stress and More Joy
Cheers to Monday. Amy, When you were with us a
week ago, we didn't have the opportunity to give call
as a chance to talk to call in, and the
(01:15):
idea of doing this time tonight is to give people
an opportunity to call in and talk about stress that
they have, particularly as any really anywhere in their lives,
but a lot of stress comes from our jobs. Welcome
back to Nightside, Amy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
First of all, thank you so much for having me.
It's great to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, it will hopefully be great to talk to some
listeners as well, because look, I was very stressed today
and had a stressful day that had nothing to do
with my work. It had I'm going to try to
be as generic about it being specific. I work with
(01:58):
computers a lot, and once I know how to work
with my laptop on my desktop and I get it down,
I'm very comfortable. But whenever I'm in a situation where
I have to somehow maybe create a PDF, put it
into my download folder on my desktop, and then I
(02:20):
need to create the PDF and I need to put
it into an email to send to someone, which is
what I was doing today, and it's no fun. It's
no fun. And no matter how many times I say
to myself, Okay, you've done this before, let's know, it's
almost like somebody who for the first time is driving
(02:42):
a stick shift and all they're driven are automatics before.
What tips can you give me in that situation? If
for me, the thing that causes the most stress in
my life. Are dealing with a computer situation and I'm
(03:03):
not comfortable. I'm asking myself to do something that maybe
I did three months ago. But I'm just normally, I
just put myself. I moved the mouse around. They know
what to click, bing bang boom, I'm done. But it
was not bing bang boom. I'm done today, that's for sure.
And I've of course had other things to do, like
prepare for my show and get to the gym and
(03:26):
all the stuff that you do during the course of
the day. What do you do other than like you're
gonna tell me breathe and count to ten, because that
doesn't work either.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Oh no, But I've got two ideas for you. So
the first one is you can call me. Creating PDS
is my superpower. So the next time you're stuck, reach out.
I love to help you. And if I'm not available,
then with the kind of stress that you're describing, yes,
it's stressful in the moment, but that what you're describing
is acute stress. It's short term, it's short lived, and
(03:57):
you're able to you'll send off the document and then
you can rec so what you described. If you get
that through the day, that's okay, and even reminding yourself
of this is going to come and go. The PDF
is gonna get made one way or another. What we're
trying to avoid is the long term chronic stress. That's
where we're going to have the detrimental health health outcomes.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh okay, well, well let's let's let's talk about long
term chronic stress. Is that is it related to often
jobs situations? Is it related to commuting to work, which
I'm blessed not to have to do? What are the
five most stressful uh reoccurring situations? I think that's what
(04:43):
you're talking about that my listeners deal are going to
have to deal with it. Maybe we could talk about
a couple of them and then we'll go to phone calls.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Sure that sounds great. So in terms of the where
stress comes from, all the things that you described are
absolutely places where stress comes from. And I I bet
in just a few minutes when we get to talk
to some of your callers, we're going to hear lots
of other places where it comes from. What's different about
chronic stress is that it's long term, It feels unrelenting,
(05:11):
and it actually starts to wear you down your performance
starts to get limited the longer you go. And I
think we talked about this just when we were together
last week that the most recent data shows seven out
of ten people are feeling it. So the numbers are
really high and we've got to do something different.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So let's talk about job stress. What's you call? Is
it that people are being asked too much to do
too much and we are being asked to do more
in forty hour work week than we were ten years
ago or twenty years ago. Is it the fact that
all of these things which theoretically like computers, which were
(05:50):
to make our life easier, we don't have to deal
with with typing on typewriters and then running to the
to the copier and make five copies and send and
drop them on other people's desks. We could just put
their emails in and boom, send send. Has that stuff,
(06:12):
as opposed to making our life easier, actually made it
more difficult in some ways?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
And if you look at Gallup, there's a gold standard
of stress at work and what leads to burnout, and
they have the five top causes and some of them
might surprise you. So for example, the number one and
it very often shows up as the number one cause
of burnout at work is unfair treatment, So either you
feel you're being treated unfairly you believe someone else is
(06:40):
being treated unfairly. And a lot of it also has
to do with your manager, So what kind of relationship
do you have with your direct manager? And then of
course workload always makes the top five causes of burnout
when you just don't have enough time to do everything
that you need to do.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Okay, okay, let's do this. We will continue our conversation. Well,
what I want to do is bring people into this conversation.
Got a couple of callers. We're going to get to them.
We'll take a very quick break. This is our quickest
break of the night. It's only about a minute of
thirty seconds, So don't leave the phone. Amy's book is
(07:18):
Cheers to Monday. I have a friend of mine who
calls Monday Moonday, A and day, the surprisingly simple method
to lead and live with less stress and more joy.
Cheers to Monday. You know, the funny thing about it
is probably the most difficult thing I do. This is
my four hour talk show every night, five nights a week.
(07:41):
But when I do that, I don't feel stress. Once
once the camera goes on, the microphone goes on. Now
used to be a camera. When the microphone goes on,
I kick in the gear because that's what I do
during the day. I have a lot of stress. Well,
going to do what subjects am I going to talk about?
(08:03):
What is the audience going to be most interested in?
How do I pick topics that will involve more people
to call who have never called before. One thing that
I've learned in this business is that it takes some
guts to call a radio show. Most people are not
comfortable doing that. Most people are not comfortable doing that
(08:24):
because one they're calling someone who, although they may feel
they know me, it's a stranger. And they know then
that their conversation is going to be heard by tens
of thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands of people on
any given night, and is intimidating, which causes stress. Intimidation
causes stress. I mean when the blue lights are in
(08:46):
your rearview mirror and you've got to pull over to
talk with Officer Friendly and you have no idea why,
and he's slowly sitting there and finally walks up to
the window license and registration that causes stress for everybody,
So let's take a break. We do have a couple
of open lines at six one, seven, two, five, four
(09:08):
ten thirty. The other lines are full. I'll get to
as many callers as possible. This is an opportunity for
you to unload your stress and find out maybe what
you can do about it. Okay. I will tell you
a story when we come back about how I unloaded
some stress. Uh, and I feel so good about it,
(09:29):
although it cost me money. I'll tell that story when
we get back. In the meantime, you got the only
lines open six one, seven, two, five, four, ten thirty.
If you don't call now, no guarantees you'll get in
later on in the hour. Coming back on night Side.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Night Side with Dan Ray, I'm telling you Bzy Boston's
news Radio.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I will tell my story, but I want to go
to callers. I don't want people to have to wait.
Let me go first off to Linda in Weymouth. Hey, Linda, Welcome,
you're on with Amy lenn author.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Hi.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
Hi Ami. I am stressed just about every single day.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And it starts out with me getting out of bed
in the morning and trying to function properly and get
everything done that I want to get done, and by
the time things that are really important to me, like
writing a little note to a friend or sending a
sympathy card or a birthday card to somebody, the day's
gone and I haven't done that. And I give you
(10:36):
a little bit of history with me. I in September,
I had my aotic valve replaced with a pig valve,
and I have a severe arthritic knee. So I'm supposed
to be walking and exercising and doing things, and I'm
trying to take myself to do all this, But before
I know it, the day's gone and I haven't gotten
(10:59):
to the same that are really important to me, and
it really cause and strust on me. And I don't
know how to get back into a routine where where
I can pace myself properly and get all these things done.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Linda, I'll give you a suggestion, and I know that
Amy's going to give you a much better suggestion, But
here's here's a suggestion. Before you go to bed at night,
take a little three by five card and write down
two things or three things you want to accomplish the
next day. They could be really simple things. By stamps
(11:36):
at the post office. You'll go food shopping or whatever,
or call that friend and use that card when you
wake up the next morning, carry it with you during
the day. You'll complete all of those little things in
the context of your regular day.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
Go ahead, Amy, that's a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Now, Damn, that's great advice. I think we might have
to co write my next book together because I was
one of the things I was going to offer to Linda. Linda,
the other thing I would offer is to start with
some kindness for yourself. I know you mentioned that you
don't always get to what's most important, but you're healing
from a really important surgery, you're dealing with some other
(12:17):
health issues, so actually being healthy throughout the day is
perhaps the most important thing that you can do. So
I love Dan's idea to write down a few things
at night. There's some really interesting research, Linda that shows
people who do what Dan just described, those who write
down a few things they didn't get to things they
want to do. The next day, they not only fell
(12:38):
asleep faster, but they were shown to have a deeper
quality of sleep. So it's that idea of getting that
out of your brain before you fall asleep and not
making the list too long. Maybe start with just one thing,
given that you're healing from a really big surgery, and
just go I would encourage to just move through that
with kindness for yourself.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Okay, that's very helpful. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, Linda, we got something. And you know what I
want you to do. In a couple of weeks. When
you call back some night on that or other subject,
let me know if you've done that. Just go buy
a little pack of you buy these three by five
cards in the post office and keep them next to
you or not in the post office, like it as
CBS or something, and keep them next to you, lit
it every day, and when you finish the two or
(13:27):
three things that you want to do, rip the card
up and throw it away.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Yeah, I think, and yeah, I will go go ahead.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Amy.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
I would have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
To just add one more thing, Linda, which is to
have a person in your life who is checking in
on you. So who are you sharing that list with?
Who can celebrate you when you've done it? And if
no one comes to mind, then email me. I would
love to celebrate the heck out of you when you
get that list done. So just having someone in your
life that you know is on your side is a
(13:57):
really big reducer of stress.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
All right, well, I will I have a I have
a daughter who who was very close to me because
I live alone. My husband passed away. So yeah, I
am by myself, so that that would make sense and
she would be a good support for some fun.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Well, that can cause stress too, Linda. I'm glad you
waited through the news. Uh, and I need I need
you to call me in a couple of weeks and
tell me how you doing.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Okay, I will, Dean, and thank you Amy, thank you.
Speaker 6 (14:33):
It was.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Nice to talk to you too. God bless you guys.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, Linda sounds like a really sweet person, doesn't she. Amy, Yeah,
you know. Let's keep going here. We're going to go
to John in New York out by Rochester, New York. Hey, John, welcome,
You're next on nice side with Amy Lehoker.
Speaker 8 (14:51):
Go ahead, John, Yes, good evening, Amy, and good evening.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
Then, Hello, do you hear me? Okay?
Speaker 8 (15:03):
I can come great, Okay, thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Uh.
Speaker 9 (15:08):
I'm recovering from COVID right now.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Wait a sec, how recently did you have COVID? Are
you a long COVID guy? Recovering or do you just
get over it.
Speaker 9 (15:19):
I'm getting over it now. It hit me last week
on Wednesday, and I've been awful work until uh, concluding today,
but I intend to return tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Let me make a suggestion to you. Did you see
you doctor when you had COVID or no?
Speaker 9 (15:39):
Oh, yeah, I had, you know, I had a scheduled
appointment for a check.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Here's here's a follow up question. John, did your doctor
prescribe for you pack what's called paxlovin.
Speaker 9 (15:51):
No, he said, I didn't need any medicine that the
type of strand I have. I'll just you know, rest
and I'll get over.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I find a new doctor because whenever anybody has COVID,
I have learned this, and Amy, I don't know if
you're familiar with this. There's a product called pax Lovid,
which you take for five days. Okay, I've had. I
had COVID once I could feel it coming on. I
(16:18):
tested positive for it. Any doctor that I know here
in the Greater Boston area has recommended pax lovid. It's
like pa x l O v I D and it is.
It's it's not quite over the county. You need to
get a prescription for it, but it kills the COVID
almost immediately. It has helped me incredibly. The one downside
(16:42):
of it is that the pills that you take, although
it will kill the COVID. And I'm not a doctor,
so I'm not, you know, doing I'm not prescribing this,
but I'm just telling you. It will leave in your
in your in your mouth sort of a steel taste
for a couple of days.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Uh oh yeah, but that is.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Much better than than dealing with the normal course of
of COVID. Have you heard of that, Amy in your
neck of the woods And no, it's called paxlovid.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I have my doctor prescribed it last year for me
and I had the same metallic taste that you did,
but it was much better than the alternative.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Oh, Amy, I love you. I love you because you're
backing me up. I mean I took a shot on
that with John. John's one of my favorite callers from
New York and I really mean that, John, that should
have been the first thing that the doctor recommended. I'm
glad you got through it. Take your time.
Speaker 9 (17:41):
Maybe does it have something to do with my age?
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Maybe he didn't want me to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Nope, no, all right, I don't think there's any age
limitations on it at all. As a matter of fact,
the older you are, I think the more likely it
should be prescribed, because you don't want that COVID, particularly
if you're older. But you're talking about stress. Let's let's
put the medical stuff aside. Talk to Amy. I'm done
(18:08):
with the conversation.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
Go ahead, Hey, then you know, without without the pack slove, that.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
I cheated death. Okay, good for you, Good I did? Okay?
Speaker 9 (18:21):
Anyhow, Amy, Yeah, you know, I'm at a point I'm
seventy one years old and I'm thinking about retiring, and
I got a job. I'm an electronic troubleshooting guy, and
you know, on the job you can't confront it with
problems on you're working on peace equipment. You don't know
what's wrong with it, and it's taking a while to
figure out, and it gets very stressful when you're in
(18:44):
that situation.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yes, So are you looking for some ideas of what
can you do in that in that moment when you're
trying to troubleshoot something and it's not working so well?
Speaker 9 (18:57):
Yes, that's right, That's what I'm asking you about.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I would say, and research with back this up, John,
that the most important thing you can do is try
to get out of that reactive part of your brain
and get back into the thinking part of your brain.
So when you start to feel that stress, you start
to feel like, gosh, this's going to work. I can't
figure this out. If you're not careful, that's going to
trigger a fight or flight response in you, and then
you're actually not using the thinking part of your brain.
(19:24):
So if you can slow down, if you can take
a breath, maybe even take a pause or a couple
of minute walk, you can get that thinking part of
your brain back online. Especially if you're trying to troubleshoot
electronic equipment. You need the thinking part of your brain online.
You need every cylinder to be firing. So that would
be my best advice for you to take a pause,
(19:45):
take a moment, and make sure you've got that thinking
part of your brain in the driver's seat.
Speaker 9 (19:51):
Well, thank you very much for the suggestion. I will
keep that in mind the next time I show tomorrow night.
That will happen because I'm going back word.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
All right, John, stay well and don't go back to
work too soon. Make sure that that you've fully recovered. Okay,
take your.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
Temperature very much everyone, and have a good night to everybody.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
All right, Thanks John, talk to you soon or six
one seven nine three one ten thirty if you want
to jump on. My guest is Amy Lenaker. She's an author.
She's written a book called Cheers to Monday. Uh. The
subtitle is the surprisingly Simple Method to Lead and Live
with Less Stress and More Joy. Now, as you folks know,
(20:37):
we do a lot of politics here on Night's side,
and we've done politics. We were doing politics last night. Uh.
Every once in a while I like to change it up.
So for those of you who are not, you know,
great into the politics. We talked last night about why
President Trump had decided to do a one to eighty
on the Epstein emails. This show, this hour is for
(21:00):
the non political type. So this is an opportunity for
you to reach out to somebody who is a great guest,
somebody who has a lot of experience. You can see
she's very personable. Take advantage. Don't be calling me next
week and saying, Jio, we should have someone like we
talk about stress. Simple as that. The only line six
(21:21):
two five thirty one line there and six one seven
nine three ten thirty coming back on Nightside. New callers
always invited. And by the way, I will do a
postgame tonight at night at Nightside with Dan Ray.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I do a postgame when I'm happy with the show. UH.
And I'm happy with how tonight's show has gone. It's
been different. Uh. And that's what we try to do
here every night on Nightside, put a show on that
appeals to different people. Please tell your friends about my show.
We are coming. And by the way, I was away
last week for three days, no stress at all, in
New York City with family and most importantly with Mustard,
(22:02):
the great corky dog who my daughter adopted from a shelter.
And if you want to see a great picture not
of me, but a great picture of Mustard. Now I'm
holding Mustard, so you see me Mustard in the New
York City skyline, just go to our Instagram account d
Nightside on Instagram, Let's see on Twitter at CBS Underscore
(22:26):
night Side. You can go to any of my web
pages Nightside with Dan Ray, Friends of Nightside with Dan
Ray or Nightside Nation. I love to get a comment.
You know how much I love dogs. And right now
Mustard is well, my favorite dog is Willy, the Shitsu
(22:49):
dog that my son owns, but Mustard is right there.
They're my two favorite dogs. Anyway, I've prattled on too long.
I still owe you that story and we have full lines,
which is great. Coming back on Nightside with my guest,
Amy Lenhaker, her book Cheers to Monday. It's a good read.
Coming back on Nightside.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're on night Side with Dan ray onell you Bzy
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
My guest, the author of the surprisingly Simple Method to
Lead and Live with Less Stress and More Joy. Cheers
to Monday, Amy Lenaker. Back to the calls we go,
going next to Larry down in Dennisport on the Cape.
Larry next on Nightside.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Welcome, thank you for taking my call. Dan and Amy.
So I have a lot of stress from several different things,
but one main course one of them is my son's
Boston Police officer. I worry about him. The other one
is my daughter lives in Afghanistan for ten years now.
But my main source of stress, which causes me not
to deal with all these problems is in November of
(23:55):
twenty twenty one, I had a very bad reaction to
the Madurina COVID bandvaccine, so I'm vaccine injured. And the
stress that was caused was for the first two years,
every doctor I went to said I can't talk about
the vaccine, so what does that mean? So then what
(24:15):
happened was I got COVID two more times, and every
time the only thing the doctors told me is, every
time you get COVID you have long COVID. It exacerbates
the problem. Do everything in your power not to get
COVID again. So now I don't go into crowded places,
I don't take my wife out to a restaurant. I'm
avoiding family affairs. How do I deal with this?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
A great question.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I'm so glad that you called, Larry, and I want
to start just by saying that as a as a
mom myself, I really relate to how you're feeling about
your son and your daughter. I think as a parent
there's a very unique kind of stress that we feel
when we're worried about our children, and especially in this
situation that you described that yours are in. In terms
(25:03):
of what we can do for you, I think it's
really about how can you think about your stress in
those two different paths. So the first one is you've
got your health stress, and it sounds like you do
have a support you are seed folks to help you
through that. I specialize in the non health I'm not
a medical professional, so what came to my mind was
(25:25):
about connection. And we know that one of the biggest
reasons for stress is when we feel disconnected. And I
wonder if there's some of that perhaps that's happening with
your daughter, especially given the distance, and with your son,
given what he does for a living in a high
a high stress job himself. So what are your thoughts
(25:47):
about that, What would it look like to be more
connected to them, and do you think that that might
have an impact on the amount of stress you're feeling.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Well, it's interesting to say that it's had to stay
connected to my daughter in Afghanistan. We are going to
my son's for Thanksgiving. But the other problem is, which
is related to this, is I was an avid cyclist
and mountain biker, and I lost all my friends because
I don't have the cadio conditions to ride with the
(26:17):
club anymore, and so I spend a lot of time
along maybe with one friend, So that yeah, kind of
exacerbatess the problem. But I don't want to take up
the line too long, but I'm definitely going to get
your book. You don't take THERAPU patients, do you? I don't.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
But Larry, I think what you just said was so
important about the loss of the community with your cycling friends,
and so even if you're not cycling, is there some
other reason to still be with them or is there
a different community that you find yourself wanting to be
a part of, Because we know that community is such
a huge part of our health and our well being,
and you deserve that. You deserve to have that circle
(26:55):
of support around you.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Okay, I will try to find something, Larry.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Thank you very much for the call. You almost give
me a call, Larry. You know that, Okay. I've interviewed
Larry's daughter on my show. She actually works in Kabul.
She's one of the few on the ground in Kabools.
She has a business over there, and the Taliban monitor her,
but they have not tried to, you know, bother her.
(27:23):
She's actually a set to the people of Afghanistan. She's
a very courageous woman. And I can understand the concern
that Larry has on both both counts. Both counts, I
have family members who were police officers as well, and
it's a it's one of those jobs that you never know.
That's the one of the few jobs in the world
(27:45):
that there's no guarantee you're going to come home at night.
And we need to be more respectful of police and
firefighters and e m t s who are out there
trying to truly h serve the public, as opposed to
a lot of the politicians who claim their public servants,
but they're really not public service that in my opinion,
they're more often serving themselves. Body call me anytime that.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
Okay, thank you, I might do that.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
All right, let me go to Karen is in Attenborough. Hi, Karen,
welcome to Night Side. You are on with my guest
Amy lehark Or. Welcome Karen.
Speaker 7 (28:18):
Hi Dan Hi, Amy, Hi Hi. I'm going through some
serious stress and I'm sleep deprived and I'm being harassed
by neighbors upstairs. Now. The thing is it's like a patent.
(28:38):
I have moved three times in four years because of this.
So I got a private investigator and he didn't really
work out, and the police said there's really not much
we can do. And I hate living like this, and
I just don't. I just don't know what else to do.
(28:59):
I mean, I'm even like, you know, they stomp around.
I'm up till three, four or five am in the morning.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Karen, you said you moved two or three times real quickly.
Is this group of people literally following you or are
you finding similar problems with whatever neighbors you have when
you move into a new location.
Speaker 7 (29:26):
I never had a problem before. I don't want to
say where I lived, I lived in It's all not count.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that, you know,
if you had lived next door to someone who was
a drug for ten years and they just lived there,
and I get that, But if you've moved in two
or three locations, is it always it's not the same
people that you have had problems with.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
I assume I don't even know who they are. But
I have to tell you that the the first place
that I moved in the basement apartment in the second
and the floor above me was empty. So there was
a guy that moved up there. He started kind of
harassing me. He would just go out in his car
and he was putting his headlights on and he would
(30:16):
he would he wouldn't even go anywhere, so I moved
my pouch against the floor. So then he was keeping
me up all night long and I tried talking to him,
so then I called the police. They were very rude
to me, and I hate to say that not all
police offices ended up. This was COVID around twenty twenty.
(30:37):
I ended up going to Dedham Court. I couldn't go
into court because of COVID, so they gave me a
piece of paper to fill out.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Karen, I'm hesitant to have you go through all of
this chapter verse on acause I know because the time.
But if you want to call me during the day,
I'll call you back and I'll try to give you
some guidance. Rob will give you my direct line and
I can call you. I can call you back during
the day when.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
When, oh please, I need help. I've been going through
this for like six years.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Now, Okay, well there, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be.
And my question. I'll have some some direct questions for you.
But let's Rob will give you my direct line during
the day. Call me. It might take me a day
or two to get back to you, so be patient.
And it's probably going to say private or secure. So
if you get that, just answer the phone. It'll be
(31:32):
me and we can talk off here.
Speaker 7 (31:35):
Okay, thank you, Dan, I appreciate that. Thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
Ami.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Okay, can I have one quick thingy for you?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Amy?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
And I'm so glad that Dan's going to reach out.
I think that's the best outcome that could have come
from this. I also wanted to just offer something around.
You mentioned that you're not sleeping and just the stress
that can come from that. So if that goes on
long enough, you can actually we get into something called
sleep stress, where you start to worry about not being
able to sleep. So I don't know if that's happening,
(32:07):
but if that is something you can talk to your
doctor about, and even just sleeping when you can where
you can to start to get out of that sleep
stress mode, if that's where you're finding yourself.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Yeah, ok thank you, Okay, thank key, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Don't hang up, Rob will give you my number. I
got three calls. We're going to get everybody. And we
got Carl, we got bj and and Nick. Keep stay
right there. We will get you in. I promise it
might be Tayper. We'll get all three of you. In
coming back on.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
It's Night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's news radio.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Let me go to Carl and Groveland. Carl next on
Nice sid with Amy Lennaco.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
Go right ahead, Carl, Yeah, Hi, Dan, I'm up here. Uh.
You were talking about the end of cards. And what
I do is I take my junk mail and I
cut it up and I keep thugs three small piles
around the house, and I jot down things during the days,
(33:11):
so the next day I have it all. There's a
lot of the things I don't have to keep thinking about.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Its good system. If it works for you, that's a
good system. Carl, you got a question for Amy?
Speaker 6 (33:25):
Sorry? Say again? Please?
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Do you have a question for Amy?
Speaker 6 (33:31):
Gee? No, I can't tell. I mean, I'm ninety three
and I probably could have a ton of questions.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Well, you got a lot of experience, and you know
that's a great point you made, which may help out
Linda a little bit in terms of just having something
on paper, so when she gets up in the morning,
she can accomplish one or two or three maybe deeds.
And you get into that and you're doing the same thing.
You have little ps of paper and and you're saving
(34:02):
trees in the meantime, Carl, I like that.
Speaker 6 (34:06):
Friend of Jark Nail and the scrap uh uh uh
scrap paper.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I'm with you. I'm a big scrap paper guy too. Absolutely, Carl,
thank you so much for calling. Have you called before us?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
This is your first time, no, first first time.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
We got to give you a round of a flaws
from audience. Thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (34:27):
Hey Dan, Yes, sir, you have known my cousin Clark
Channel five clock booth. Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Oh, the great, great guy, A great guy.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
He passed a few years ago, but.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I know that and one of the smartest reporters. It
looked truly an intellectual. I mean so uh yeah, you
got You've got some good bloodlines there, Carl, appreciate your call.
Thank you much. My friend call again. Well we'll have
a longer conversation.
Speaker 6 (34:58):
Yeah. And by the way, I know out Flowers, but
I don't know who she is.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, but Florence is one of my loyal listeners in
Groveland as well. We're kind of a little bit of
a family here, so consider yourself part of the family. Carl.
And congratulations on reaching ninety three. If I could shoot
ninety three or nine holes of golf, I'd be happy.
So that's the magic number. Thanks Carl.
Speaker 6 (35:20):
I couldn't shoot one hole at all.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thanks talk soon, all right? Goodn't I? We have great callers.
Nick is in Winchester, Dick, I want to get you
and bj infromact and go ahead, Nick.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
How you doing? Dann Hi Amy?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Hello?
Speaker 8 (35:34):
Nick?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Hi?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
You just gonna question. I agree with you guys about
writing it down on paper or index card. But the
thing I seem to have a problem with, say it's
three or four things, how do you prioritize?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Well, you know what, if you can't prioritize them, then
don't do it. Make it alphabetical, make it you know,
whatever you want. Okay, you're trying to get a couple
of things accomplished every day, so when you go to
bed at night, you got those two things off your
to do list.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
There you go. What do you think you're a better doctor?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I feel like Dan is in my head because Nick
I was gonna say the same thing that often when
we try to prioritize too much, it can actually cause
us more stress. So if one isn't naturally rising to
the top, then I don't think you have to force it.
I think just making progress on all of them is
exactly the right thing to do.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
That would be called analysis paralysis, Nick, So you don't
want to get into analysis paralysis, you.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Know, definitely not all right, thank you for taking my call.
A great night, great.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Question, Nick, Thank you much. Let me go to BJ
in Act in Massachusetts. BJ next on Night Side with
Amy Leanneker.
Speaker 8 (36:48):
Yes, Dan, Amy, I deal with autism, anxiety disorder, and depression.
Like to give a shout out to all those warriors
to deal with those domination or singularly. I know that
stress is commonplace for me and anxiety, and I know
(37:12):
that personally medicines don't seem to work, and I don't
it doesn't seem to work to use the usual anxiety
relieving techniques. I'm wondering if you had any suggestions.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yes, so, and I think you did mention that you
are you're seeking or you have medical support, which is
always the most important thing because well, Dan and I
might sound smart, we're not actually doctors, right Dana, the
mode radio go ahead, right? But BJ, you mentioned both
stress and anxieting, and I'm I'm glad that you did,
because there's often a misconception that those two things are
(37:49):
the same and they're actually different, and so when you
can get clear on which one it is, you've got
a better chance at getting some relief. So stress is
something you feel as result of an external pressure. So
something's happening, there's a deadline or demand. Where anxiety actually
comes from internal it's a worry or a fear that
(38:10):
may not even have a clear cause. And anxiety can
be there even when life is calm. So my first
piece of advice would be to think about and to
get clear which of those two are you experiencing, so
then you have a better chance at doing something about it.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Good, good advice, BJ. We're running out of time. I
know your regular caller. Call anytime. We can always talk
about what's going on.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Okay, okay, thanks Dan, Thanks BJ.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Talk to you soon. The book is Cheers to Monday,
The Surprisingly Simple Method to Lead and Live with Less
Stress and More Joy by Amy Lehiker. Amy, I hope
a lot of people get the book. I said earlier
this evening that I was going to tell you a story.
I had a big problem of a couple of years
ago with my health savings account, which you get through work,
(39:00):
and the company was very difficult to deal with, and
it was really causing me stress. And I talked to
my doctor about it, and the doctor said to me,
who's your company? So I gave him the name of
the company. It's you know, it's through my own employer.
I'm not going to say the name of the year.
He said to me. I had that company. My practice
has that company too. They are horrible to deal with.
(39:20):
Get rid of them. Get rid of them. Guess what,
it was the smartest thing I ever did. Now, it's
cost me a little bit of money because you can
put three thousand dollars away from medical expenses, maybe save
a thousand bucks. But I thought to myself, it's not
worth my health. I got rid of it. It cost
me a thousand bucks a year. But you know what,
I don't miss it. I don't miss it. Amy. I
(39:41):
got a run because I'm flat out of time. We'll
have you back. Okay, let's keep it going. Thanks Amy,
talk to you soon. This will be posted tomorrow about
two o'clock this morning on our website, which is a
nightside on demand, and you're more than happy to pull
it down and put it up on your website. Okay,
Thanks Jan all right, thanks so much. Done for the night.
(40:04):
I'll have a surprise guest tomorrow night at nine o'clock.
I think you'll be really surprised. Tell your friends to
tune in at nine tomorrow night. All dogs, all cats,
all pets go to heaven. That's my pale Charlie ray Is,
who passed fifteen years ago in February. That's all your
pets are passed. They loved you when you loved them.
I do believe you're going to see them again. I
will see you in about two minutes on night Side
(40:25):
with Dan Ray on Facebook. Join us there. Thanks Rob,
great job. Thanks Marita,
It's Night Side with Dan Ray. I'm telling you Boston's
Knees Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
It was just about a week ago. Well, little let's
more than a week less than a week ago. Yeah,
less than a week ago. I had an interesting guest
during the eight o'clock hour. Her name is Amy Lennaker
uh and she talked about stress awareness and work and
she's written a book called Cheers to Monday, The Surprisingly
(00:32):
Simple Method to Lead and Live with Less Stress and
More Joy. Uh I really enjoyed my conversation with her.
She's a former C suite executive uh and is now
a trusted leadership advisor to Fortune one hundred companies and
public sector organizations. Stress isn't about the price of success.
(00:54):
It's the thief that steals it, and she proves it.
Proves it in her new book, The Surprisingly Simple Method
to Lead and Live with Less Stress and More Joy
Cheers to Monday. Amy, When you were with us a
week ago, we didn't have the opportunity to give call
as a chance to talk to call in, and the
(01:15):
idea of doing this time tonight is to give people
an opportunity to call in and talk about stress that
they have, particularly as any really anywhere in their lives,
but a lot of stress comes from our jobs. Welcome
back to Nightside, Amy.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
First of all, thank you so much for having me.
It's great to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, it will hopefully be great to talk to some
listeners as well, because look, I was very stressed today
and had a stressful day that had nothing to do
with my work. It had I'm going to try to
be as generic about it being specific. I work with
(01:58):
computers a lot, and once I know how to work
with my laptop on my desktop and I get it down,
I'm very comfortable. But whenever I'm in a situation where
I have to somehow maybe create a PDF, put it
into my download folder on my desktop, and then I
(02:20):
need to create the PDF and I need to put
it into an email to send to someone, which is
what I was doing today, and it's no fun. It's
no fun. And no matter how many times I say
to myself, Okay, you've done this before, let's know, it's
almost like somebody who for the first time is driving
(02:42):
a stick shift and all they're driven are automatics before.
What tips can you give me in that situation? If
for me, the thing that causes the most stress in
my life. Are dealing with a computer situation and I'm
(03:03):
not comfortable. I'm asking myself to do something that maybe
I did three months ago. But I'm just normally, I
just put myself. I moved the mouse around. They know
what to click, bing bang boom, I'm done. But it
was not bing bang boom. I'm done today, that's for sure.
And I've of course had other things to do, like
prepare for my show and get to the gym and
(03:26):
all the stuff that you do during the course of
the day. What do you do other than like you're
gonna tell me breathe and count to ten, because that
doesn't work either.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Oh no, But I've got two ideas for you. So
the first one is you can call me. Creating PDS
is my superpower. So the next time you're stuck, reach out.
I love to help you. And if I'm not available,
then with the kind of stress that you're describing, yes,
it's stressful in the moment, but that what you're describing
is acute stress. It's short term, it's short lived, and
(03:57):
you're able to you'll send off the document and then
you can rec so what you described. If you get
that through the day, that's okay, and even reminding yourself
of this is going to come and go. The PDF
is gonna get made one way or another. What we're
trying to avoid is the long term chronic stress. That's
where we're going to have the detrimental health health outcomes.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Oh okay, well, well let's let's let's talk about long
term chronic stress. Is that is it related to often
jobs situations? Is it related to commuting to work, which
I'm blessed not to have to do? What are the
five most stressful uh reoccurring situations? I think that's what
(04:43):
you're talking about that my listeners deal are going to
have to deal with it. Maybe we could talk about
a couple of them and then we'll go to phone calls.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Sure that sounds great. So in terms of the where
stress comes from, all the things that you described are
absolutely places where stress comes from. And I I bet
in just a few minutes when we get to talk
to some of your callers, we're going to hear lots
of other places where it comes from. What's different about
chronic stress is that it's long term, It feels unrelenting,
(05:11):
and it actually starts to wear you down your performance
starts to get limited the longer you go. And I
think we talked about this just when we were together
last week that the most recent data shows seven out
of ten people are feeling it. So the numbers are
really high and we've got to do something different.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
So let's talk about job stress. What's you call? Is
it that people are being asked too much to do
too much and we are being asked to do more
in forty hour work week than we were ten years
ago or twenty years ago. Is it the fact that
all of these things which theoretically like computers, which were
(05:50):
to make our life easier, we don't have to deal
with with typing on typewriters and then running to the
to the copier and make five copies and send and
drop them on other people's desks. We could just put
their emails in and boom, send send. Has that stuff,
(06:12):
as opposed to making our life easier, actually made it
more difficult in some ways?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (06:18):
And if you look at Gallup, there's a gold standard
of stress at work and what leads to burnout, and
they have the five top causes and some of them
might surprise you. So for example, the number one and
it very often shows up as the number one cause
of burnout at work is unfair treatment, So either you
feel you're being treated unfairly you believe someone else is
(06:40):
being treated unfairly. And a lot of it also has
to do with your manager, So what kind of relationship
do you have with your direct manager? And then of
course workload always makes the top five causes of burnout
when you just don't have enough time to do everything
that you need to do.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Okay, okay, let's do this. We will continue our conversation. Well,
what I want to do is bring people into this conversation.
Got a couple of callers. We're going to get to them.
We'll take a very quick break. This is our quickest
break of the night. It's only about a minute of
thirty seconds, So don't leave the phone. Amy's book is
(07:18):
Cheers to Monday. I have a friend of mine who
calls Monday Moonday, A and day, the surprisingly simple method
to lead and live with less stress and more joy.
Cheers to Monday. You know, the funny thing about it
is probably the most difficult thing I do. This is
my four hour talk show every night, five nights a week.
(07:41):
But when I do that, I don't feel stress. Once
once the camera goes on, the microphone goes on. Now
used to be a camera. When the microphone goes on,
I kick in the gear because that's what I do
during the day. I have a lot of stress. Well,
going to do what subjects am I going to talk about?
(08:03):
What is the audience going to be most interested in?
How do I pick topics that will involve more people
to call who have never called before. One thing that
I've learned in this business is that it takes some
guts to call a radio show. Most people are not
comfortable doing that. Most people are not comfortable doing that
(08:24):
because one they're calling someone who, although they may feel
they know me, it's a stranger. And they know then
that their conversation is going to be heard by tens
of thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands of people on
any given night, and is intimidating, which causes stress. Intimidation
causes stress. I mean when the blue lights are in
(08:46):
your rearview mirror and you've got to pull over to
talk with Officer Friendly and you have no idea why,
and he's slowly sitting there and finally walks up to
the window license and registration that causes stress for everybody,
So let's take a break. We do have a couple
of open lines at six one, seven, two, five, four
(09:08):
ten thirty. The other lines are full. I'll get to
as many callers as possible. This is an opportunity for
you to unload your stress and find out maybe what
you can do about it. Okay. I will tell you
a story when we come back about how I unloaded
some stress. Uh, and I feel so good about it,
(09:29):
although it cost me money. I'll tell that story when
we get back. In the meantime, you got the only
lines open six one, seven, two, five, four, ten thirty.
If you don't call now, no guarantees you'll get in
later on in the hour. Coming back on night Side.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Night Side with Dan Ray, I'm telling you Bzy Boston's
news Radio.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I will tell my story, but I want to go
to callers. I don't want people to have to wait.
Let me go first off to Linda in Weymouth. Hey, Linda, Welcome,
you're on with Amy lenn author.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Hi.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
Hi Ami. I am stressed just about every single day.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
And it starts out with me getting out of bed
in the morning and trying to function properly and get
everything done that I want to get done, and by
the time things that are really important to me, like
writing a little note to a friend or sending a
sympathy card or a birthday card to somebody, the day's
gone and I haven't done that. And I give you
(10:36):
a little bit of history with me. I in September,
I had my aotic valve replaced with a pig valve,
and I have a severe arthritic knee. So I'm supposed
to be walking and exercising and doing things, and I'm
trying to take myself to do all this, But before
I know it, the day's gone and I haven't gotten
(10:59):
to the same that are really important to me, and
it really cause and strust on me. And I don't
know how to get back into a routine where where
I can pace myself properly and get all these things done.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Linda, I'll give you a suggestion, and I know that
Amy's going to give you a much better suggestion, But
here's here's a suggestion. Before you go to bed at night,
take a little three by five card and write down
two things or three things you want to accomplish the
next day. They could be really simple things. By stamps
(11:36):
at the post office. You'll go food shopping or whatever,
or call that friend and use that card when you
wake up the next morning, carry it with you during
the day. You'll complete all of those little things in
the context of your regular day.
Speaker 6 (11:52):
Go ahead, Amy, that's a good idea.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Now, Damn, that's great advice. I think we might have
to co write my next book together because I was
one of the things I was going to offer to Linda. Linda,
the other thing I would offer is to start with
some kindness for yourself. I know you mentioned that you
don't always get to what's most important, but you're healing
from a really important surgery, you're dealing with some other
(12:17):
health issues, so actually being healthy throughout the day is
perhaps the most important thing that you can do. So
I love Dan's idea to write down a few things
at night. There's some really interesting research, Linda that shows
people who do what Dan just described, those who write
down a few things they didn't get to things they
want to do. The next day, they not only fell
(12:38):
asleep faster, but they were shown to have a deeper
quality of sleep. So it's that idea of getting that
out of your brain before you fall asleep and not
making the list too long. Maybe start with just one thing,
given that you're healing from a really big surgery, and
just go I would encourage to just move through that
with kindness for yourself.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Okay, that's very helpful. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, Linda, we got something. And you know what I
want you to do. In a couple of weeks. When
you call back some night on that or other subject,
let me know if you've done that. Just go buy
a little pack of you buy these three by five
cards in the post office and keep them next to
you or not in the post office, like it as
CBS or something, and keep them next to you, lit
it every day, and when you finish the two or
(13:27):
three things that you want to do, rip the card
up and throw it away.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Yeah, I think, and yeah, I will go go ahead.
Speaker 7 (13:35):
Amy.
Speaker 8 (13:36):
I would have.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
To just add one more thing, Linda, which is to
have a person in your life who is checking in
on you. So who are you sharing that list with?
Who can celebrate you when you've done it? And if
no one comes to mind, then email me. I would
love to celebrate the heck out of you when you
get that list done. So just having someone in your
life that you know is on your side is a
(13:57):
really big reducer of stress.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
All right, well, I will I have a I have
a daughter who who was very close to me because
I live alone. My husband passed away. So yeah, I
am by myself, so that that would make sense and
she would be a good support for some fun.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Well, that can cause stress too, Linda. I'm glad you
waited through the news. Uh, and I need I need
you to call me in a couple of weeks and
tell me how you doing.
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Okay, I will, Dean, and thank you Amy, thank you.
Speaker 6 (14:33):
It was.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Nice to talk to you too. God bless you guys.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, Linda sounds like a really sweet person, doesn't she. Amy, Yeah,
you know. Let's keep going here. We're going to go
to John in New York out by Rochester, New York. Hey, John, welcome,
You're next on nice side with Amy Lehoker.
Speaker 8 (14:51):
Go ahead, John, Yes, good evening, Amy, and good evening.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
Then, Hello, do you hear me? Okay?
Speaker 8 (15:03):
I can come great, Okay, thank you very much.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Uh.
Speaker 9 (15:08):
I'm recovering from COVID right now.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Wait a sec, how recently did you have COVID? Are
you a long COVID guy? Recovering or do you just
get over it.
Speaker 9 (15:19):
I'm getting over it now. It hit me last week
on Wednesday, and I've been awful work until uh, concluding today,
but I intend to return tomorrow.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Let me make a suggestion to you. Did you see
you doctor when you had COVID or no?
Speaker 9 (15:39):
Oh, yeah, I had, you know, I had a scheduled
appointment for a check.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Here's here's a follow up question. John, did your doctor
prescribe for you pack what's called paxlovin.
Speaker 9 (15:51):
No, he said, I didn't need any medicine that the
type of strand I have. I'll just you know, rest
and I'll get over.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I find a new doctor because whenever anybody has COVID,
I have learned this, and Amy, I don't know if
you're familiar with this. There's a product called pax Lovid,
which you take for five days. Okay, I've had. I
had COVID once I could feel it coming on. I
(16:18):
tested positive for it. Any doctor that I know here
in the Greater Boston area has recommended pax lovid. It's
like pa x l O v I D and it is.
It's it's not quite over the county. You need to
get a prescription for it, but it kills the COVID
almost immediately. It has helped me incredibly. The one downside
(16:42):
of it is that the pills that you take, although
it will kill the COVID. And I'm not a doctor,
so I'm not, you know, doing I'm not prescribing this,
but I'm just telling you. It will leave in your
in your in your mouth sort of a steel taste
for a couple of days.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Uh oh yeah, but that is.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Much better than than dealing with the normal course of
of COVID. Have you heard of that, Amy in your
neck of the woods And no, it's called paxlovid.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
I have my doctor prescribed it last year for me
and I had the same metallic taste that you did,
but it was much better than the alternative.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Oh, Amy, I love you. I love you because you're
backing me up. I mean I took a shot on
that with John. John's one of my favorite callers from
New York and I really mean that, John, that should
have been the first thing that the doctor recommended. I'm
glad you got through it. Take your time.
Speaker 9 (17:41):
Maybe does it have something to do with my age?
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Maybe he didn't want me to do that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Nope, no, all right, I don't think there's any age
limitations on it at all. As a matter of fact,
the older you are, I think the more likely it
should be prescribed, because you don't want that COVID, particularly
if you're older. But you're talking about stress. Let's let's
put the medical stuff aside. Talk to Amy. I'm done
(18:08):
with the conversation.
Speaker 9 (18:09):
Go ahead, Hey, then you know, without without the pack slove, that.
Speaker 6 (18:16):
I cheated death. Okay, good for you, Good I did? Okay?
Speaker 9 (18:21):
Anyhow, Amy, Yeah, you know, I'm at a point I'm
seventy one years old and I'm thinking about retiring, and
I got a job. I'm an electronic troubleshooting guy, and
you know, on the job you can't confront it with
problems on you're working on peace equipment. You don't know
what's wrong with it, and it's taking a while to
figure out, and it gets very stressful when you're in
(18:44):
that situation.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yes, So are you looking for some ideas of what
can you do in that in that moment when you're
trying to troubleshoot something and it's not working so well?
Speaker 9 (18:57):
Yes, that's right, That's what I'm asking you about.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
I would say, and research with back this up, John,
that the most important thing you can do is try
to get out of that reactive part of your brain
and get back into the thinking part of your brain.
So when you start to feel that stress, you start
to feel like, gosh, this's going to work. I can't
figure this out. If you're not careful, that's going to
trigger a fight or flight response in you, and then
you're actually not using the thinking part of your brain.
(19:24):
So if you can slow down, if you can take
a breath, maybe even take a pause or a couple
of minute walk, you can get that thinking part of
your brain back online. Especially if you're trying to troubleshoot
electronic equipment. You need the thinking part of your brain online.
You need every cylinder to be firing. So that would
be my best advice for you to take a pause,
(19:45):
take a moment, and make sure you've got that thinking
part of your brain in the driver's seat.
Speaker 9 (19:51):
Well, thank you very much for the suggestion. I will
keep that in mind the next time I show tomorrow night.
That will happen because I'm going back word.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
All right, John, stay well and don't go back to
work too soon. Make sure that that you've fully recovered. Okay,
take your.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
Temperature very much everyone, and have a good night to everybody.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
All right, Thanks John, talk to you soon or six
one seven nine three one ten thirty if you want
to jump on. My guest is Amy Lenaker. She's an author.
She's written a book called Cheers to Monday. Uh. The
subtitle is the surprisingly Simple Method to Lead and Live
with Less Stress and More Joy. Now, as you folks know,
(20:37):
we do a lot of politics here on Night's side,
and we've done politics. We were doing politics last night. Uh.
Every once in a while I like to change it up.
So for those of you who are not, you know,
great into the politics. We talked last night about why
President Trump had decided to do a one to eighty
on the Epstein emails. This show, this hour is for
(21:00):
the non political type. So this is an opportunity for
you to reach out to somebody who is a great guest,
somebody who has a lot of experience. You can see
she's very personable. Take advantage. Don't be calling me next
week and saying, Jio, we should have someone like we
talk about stress. Simple as that. The only line six
(21:21):
two five thirty one line there and six one seven
nine three ten thirty coming back on Nightside. New callers
always invited. And by the way, I will do a
postgame tonight at night at Nightside with Dan Ray.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
I do a postgame when I'm happy with the show. UH.
And I'm happy with how tonight's show has gone. It's
been different. Uh. And that's what we try to do
here every night on Nightside, put a show on that
appeals to different people. Please tell your friends about my show.
We are coming. And by the way, I was away
last week for three days, no stress at all, in
New York City with family and most importantly with Mustard,
(22:02):
the great corky dog who my daughter adopted from a shelter.
And if you want to see a great picture not
of me, but a great picture of Mustard. Now I'm
holding Mustard, so you see me Mustard in the New
York City skyline, just go to our Instagram account d
Nightside on Instagram, Let's see on Twitter at CBS Underscore
(22:26):
night Side. You can go to any of my web
pages Nightside with Dan Ray, Friends of Nightside with Dan
Ray or Nightside Nation. I love to get a comment.
You know how much I love dogs. And right now
Mustard is well, my favorite dog is Willy, the Shitsu
(22:49):
dog that my son owns, but Mustard is right there.
They're my two favorite dogs. Anyway, I've prattled on too long.
I still owe you that story and we have full lines,
which is great. Coming back on Nightside with my guest,
Amy Lenhaker, her book Cheers to Monday. It's a good read.
Coming back on Nightside.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're on night Side with Dan ray onell you Bzy
Boston's news Radio.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
My guest, the author of the surprisingly Simple Method to
Lead and Live with Less Stress and More Joy. Cheers
to Monday, Amy Lenaker. Back to the calls we go,
going next to Larry down in Dennisport on the Cape.
Larry next on Nightside.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Welcome, thank you for taking my call. Dan and Amy.
So I have a lot of stress from several different things,
but one main course one of them is my son's
Boston Police officer. I worry about him. The other one
is my daughter lives in Afghanistan for ten years now.
But my main source of stress, which causes me not
to deal with all these problems is in November of
(23:55):
twenty twenty one, I had a very bad reaction to
the Madurina COVID bandvaccine, so I'm vaccine injured. And the
stress that was caused was for the first two years,
every doctor I went to said I can't talk about
the vaccine, so what does that mean? So then what
(24:15):
happened was I got COVID two more times, and every
time the only thing the doctors told me is, every
time you get COVID you have long COVID. It exacerbates
the problem. Do everything in your power not to get
COVID again. So now I don't go into crowded places,
I don't take my wife out to a restaurant. I'm
avoiding family affairs. How do I deal with this?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
A great question.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I'm so glad that you called, Larry, and I want
to start just by saying that as a as a
mom myself, I really relate to how you're feeling about
your son and your daughter. I think as a parent
there's a very unique kind of stress that we feel
when we're worried about our children, and especially in this
situation that you described that yours are in. In terms
(25:03):
of what we can do for you, I think it's
really about how can you think about your stress in
those two different paths. So the first one is you've
got your health stress, and it sounds like you do
have a support you are seed folks to help you
through that. I specialize in the non health I'm not
a medical professional, so what came to my mind was
(25:25):
about connection. And we know that one of the biggest
reasons for stress is when we feel disconnected. And I
wonder if there's some of that perhaps that's happening with
your daughter, especially given the distance, and with your son,
given what he does for a living in a high
a high stress job himself. So what are your thoughts
(25:47):
about that, What would it look like to be more
connected to them, and do you think that that might
have an impact on the amount of stress you're feeling.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
Well, it's interesting to say that it's had to stay
connected to my daughter in Afghanistan. We are going to
my son's for Thanksgiving. But the other problem is, which
is related to this, is I was an avid cyclist
and mountain biker, and I lost all my friends because
I don't have the cadio conditions to ride with the
(26:17):
club anymore, and so I spend a lot of time
along maybe with one friend, So that yeah, kind of
exacerbatess the problem. But I don't want to take up
the line too long, but I'm definitely going to get
your book. You don't take THERAPU patients, do you? I don't.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
But Larry, I think what you just said was so
important about the loss of the community with your cycling friends,
and so even if you're not cycling, is there some
other reason to still be with them or is there
a different community that you find yourself wanting to be
a part of, Because we know that community is such
a huge part of our health and our well being,
and you deserve that. You deserve to have that circle
(26:55):
of support around you.
Speaker 6 (26:58):
Okay, I will try to find something, Larry.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Thank you very much for the call. You almost give
me a call, Larry. You know that, Okay. I've interviewed
Larry's daughter on my show. She actually works in Kabul.
She's one of the few on the ground in Kabools.
She has a business over there, and the Taliban monitor her,
but they have not tried to, you know, bother her.
(27:23):
She's actually a set to the people of Afghanistan. She's
a very courageous woman. And I can understand the concern
that Larry has on both both counts. Both counts, I
have family members who were police officers as well, and
it's a it's one of those jobs that you never know.
That's the one of the few jobs in the world
(27:45):
that there's no guarantee you're going to come home at night.
And we need to be more respectful of police and
firefighters and e m t s who are out there
trying to truly h serve the public, as opposed to
a lot of the politicians who claim their public servants,
but they're really not public service that in my opinion,
they're more often serving themselves. Body call me anytime that.
Speaker 6 (28:06):
Okay, thank you, I might do that.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
All right, let me go to Karen is in Attenborough. Hi, Karen,
welcome to Night Side. You are on with my guest
Amy lehark Or. Welcome Karen.
Speaker 7 (28:18):
Hi Dan Hi, Amy, Hi Hi. I'm going through some
serious stress and I'm sleep deprived and I'm being harassed
by neighbors upstairs. Now. The thing is it's like a patent.
(28:38):
I have moved three times in four years because of this.
So I got a private investigator and he didn't really
work out, and the police said there's really not much
we can do. And I hate living like this, and
I just don't. I just don't know what else to do.
(28:59):
I mean, I'm even like, you know, they stomp around.
I'm up till three, four or five am in the morning.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Karen, you said you moved two or three times real quickly.
Is this group of people literally following you or are
you finding similar problems with whatever neighbors you have when
you move into a new location.
Speaker 7 (29:26):
I never had a problem before. I don't want to
say where I lived, I lived in It's all not count.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
It doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that, you know,
if you had lived next door to someone who was
a drug for ten years and they just lived there,
and I get that, But if you've moved in two
or three locations, is it always it's not the same
people that you have had problems with.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
I assume I don't even know who they are. But
I have to tell you that the the first place
that I moved in the basement apartment in the second
and the floor above me was empty. So there was
a guy that moved up there. He started kind of
harassing me. He would just go out in his car
and he was putting his headlights on and he would
(30:16):
he would he wouldn't even go anywhere, so I moved
my pouch against the floor. So then he was keeping
me up all night long and I tried talking to him,
so then I called the police. They were very rude
to me, and I hate to say that not all
police offices ended up. This was COVID around twenty twenty.
(30:37):
I ended up going to Dedham Court. I couldn't go
into court because of COVID, so they gave me a
piece of paper to fill out.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Karen, I'm hesitant to have you go through all of
this chapter verse on acause I know because the time.
But if you want to call me during the day,
I'll call you back and I'll try to give you
some guidance. Rob will give you my direct line and
I can call you. I can call you back during
the day when.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
When, oh please, I need help. I've been going through
this for like six years.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Now, Okay, well there, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be.
And my question. I'll have some some direct questions for you.
But let's Rob will give you my direct line during
the day. Call me. It might take me a day
or two to get back to you, so be patient.
And it's probably going to say private or secure. So
if you get that, just answer the phone. It'll be
(31:32):
me and we can talk off here.
Speaker 7 (31:35):
Okay, thank you, Dan, I appreciate that. Thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (31:39):
Ami.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Okay, can I have one quick thingy for you?
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Amy?
Speaker 3 (31:45):
And I'm so glad that Dan's going to reach out.
I think that's the best outcome that could have come
from this. I also wanted to just offer something around.
You mentioned that you're not sleeping and just the stress
that can come from that. So if that goes on
long enough, you can actually we get into something called
sleep stress, where you start to worry about not being
able to sleep. So I don't know if that's happening,
(32:07):
but if that is something you can talk to your
doctor about, and even just sleeping when you can where
you can to start to get out of that sleep
stress mode, if that's where you're finding yourself.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Yeah, ok thank you, Okay, thank key, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Don't hang up, Rob will give you my number. I
got three calls. We're going to get everybody. And we
got Carl, we got bj and and Nick. Keep stay
right there. We will get you in. I promise it
might be Tayper. We'll get all three of you. In
coming back on.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
It's Night Side with Dan Ray on w Boston's news radio.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Let me go to Carl and Groveland. Carl next on
Nice sid with Amy Lennaco.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
Go right ahead, Carl, Yeah, Hi, Dan, I'm up here. Uh.
You were talking about the end of cards. And what
I do is I take my junk mail and I
cut it up and I keep thugs three small piles
around the house, and I jot down things during the days,
(33:11):
so the next day I have it all. There's a
lot of the things I don't have to keep thinking about.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Its good system. If it works for you, that's a
good system. Carl, you got a question for Amy?
Speaker 6 (33:25):
Sorry? Say again? Please?
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Do you have a question for Amy?
Speaker 6 (33:31):
Gee? No, I can't tell. I mean, I'm ninety three
and I probably could have a ton of questions.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Well, you got a lot of experience, and you know
that's a great point you made, which may help out
Linda a little bit in terms of just having something
on paper, so when she gets up in the morning,
she can accomplish one or two or three maybe deeds.
And you get into that and you're doing the same thing.
You have little ps of paper and and you're saving
(34:02):
trees in the meantime, Carl, I like that.
Speaker 6 (34:06):
Friend of Jark Nail and the scrap uh uh uh
scrap paper.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I'm with you. I'm a big scrap paper guy too. Absolutely, Carl,
thank you so much for calling. Have you called before us?
Speaker 6 (34:17):
This is your first time, no, first first time.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
We got to give you a round of a flaws
from audience. Thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (34:27):
Hey Dan, Yes, sir, you have known my cousin Clark
Channel five clock booth. Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Oh, the great, great guy, A great guy.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
He passed a few years ago, but.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I know that and one of the smartest reporters. It
looked truly an intellectual. I mean so uh yeah, you
got You've got some good bloodlines there, Carl, appreciate your call.
Thank you much. My friend call again. Well we'll have
a longer conversation.
Speaker 6 (34:58):
Yeah. And by the way, I know out Flowers, but
I don't know who she is.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, but Florence is one of my loyal listeners in
Groveland as well. We're kind of a little bit of
a family here, so consider yourself part of the family. Carl.
And congratulations on reaching ninety three. If I could shoot
ninety three or nine holes of golf, I'd be happy.
So that's the magic number. Thanks Carl.
Speaker 6 (35:20):
I couldn't shoot one hole at all.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Thanks talk soon, all right? Goodn't I? We have great callers.
Nick is in Winchester, Dick, I want to get you
and bj infromact and go ahead, Nick.
Speaker 4 (35:31):
How you doing? Dann Hi Amy?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Hello?
Speaker 8 (35:34):
Nick?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Hi?
Speaker 4 (35:35):
You just gonna question. I agree with you guys about
writing it down on paper or index card. But the
thing I seem to have a problem with, say it's
three or four things, how do you prioritize?
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Well, you know what, if you can't prioritize them, then
don't do it. Make it alphabetical, make it you know,
whatever you want. Okay, you're trying to get a couple
of things accomplished every day, so when you go to
bed at night, you got those two things off your
to do list.
Speaker 4 (36:06):
There you go. What do you think you're a better doctor?
Speaker 3 (36:11):
I feel like Dan is in my head because Nick
I was gonna say the same thing that often when
we try to prioritize too much, it can actually cause
us more stress. So if one isn't naturally rising to
the top, then I don't think you have to force it.
I think just making progress on all of them is
exactly the right thing to do.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
That would be called analysis paralysis, Nick, So you don't
want to get into analysis paralysis, you.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Know, definitely not all right, thank you for taking my call.
A great night, great.
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Question, Nick, Thank you much. Let me go to BJ
in Act in Massachusetts. BJ next on Night Side with
Amy Leanneker.
Speaker 8 (36:48):
Yes, Dan, Amy, I deal with autism, anxiety disorder, and depression.
Like to give a shout out to all those warriors
to deal with those domination or singularly. I know that
stress is commonplace for me and anxiety, and I know
(37:12):
that personally medicines don't seem to work, and I don't
it doesn't seem to work to use the usual anxiety
relieving techniques. I'm wondering if you had any suggestions.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yes, so, and I think you did mention that you
are you're seeking or you have medical support, which is
always the most important thing because well, Dan and I
might sound smart, we're not actually doctors, right Dana, the
mode radio go ahead, right? But BJ, you mentioned both
stress and anxieting, and I'm I'm glad that you did,
because there's often a misconception that those two things are
(37:49):
the same and they're actually different, and so when you
can get clear on which one it is, you've got
a better chance at getting some relief. So stress is
something you feel as result of an external pressure. So
something's happening, there's a deadline or demand. Where anxiety actually
comes from internal it's a worry or a fear that
(38:10):
may not even have a clear cause. And anxiety can
be there even when life is calm. So my first
piece of advice would be to think about and to
get clear which of those two are you experiencing, so
then you have a better chance at doing something about it.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Good, good advice, BJ. We're running out of time. I
know your regular caller. Call anytime. We can always talk
about what's going on.
Speaker 6 (38:35):
Okay, okay, thanks Dan, Thanks BJ.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Talk to you soon. The book is Cheers to Monday,
The Surprisingly Simple Method to Lead and Live with Less
Stress and More Joy by Amy Lehiker. Amy, I hope
a lot of people get the book. I said earlier
this evening that I was going to tell you a story.
I had a big problem of a couple of years
ago with my health savings account, which you get through work,
(39:00):
and the company was very difficult to deal with, and
it was really causing me stress. And I talked to
my doctor about it, and the doctor said to me,
who's your company? So I gave him the name of
the company. It's you know, it's through my own employer.
I'm not going to say the name of the year.
He said to me. I had that company. My practice
has that company too. They are horrible to deal with.
(39:20):
Get rid of them. Get rid of them. Guess what,
it was the smartest thing I ever did. Now, it's
cost me a little bit of money because you can
put three thousand dollars away from medical expenses, maybe save
a thousand bucks. But I thought to myself, it's not
worth my health. I got rid of it. It cost
me a thousand bucks a year. But you know what,
I don't miss it. I don't miss it. Amy. I
(39:41):
got a run because I'm flat out of time. We'll
have you back. Okay, let's keep it going. Thanks Amy,
talk to you soon. This will be posted tomorrow about
two o'clock this morning on our website, which is a
nightside on demand, and you're more than happy to pull
it down and put it up on your website. Okay,
Thanks Jan all right, thanks so much. Done for the night.
(40:04):
I'll have a surprise guest tomorrow night at nine o'clock.
I think you'll be really surprised. Tell your friends to
tune in at nine tomorrow night. All dogs, all cats,
all pets go to heaven. That's my pale Charlie ray Is,
who passed fifteen years ago in February. That's all your
pets are passed. They loved you when you loved them.
I do believe you're going to see them again. I
will see you in about two minutes on night Side
(40:25):
with Dan Ray on Facebook. Join us there. Thanks Rob,
great job. Thanks Marita,
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