Revealing All The Things That Bother Scotty B

Scotty Bis trying to let go of the little things... not sure it's going to well.

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast,
Firm Presents Minute Morning Show. And here we go, you know,
cheers to the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast. And as usual,

(00:25):
I'm the only one drinking. So here we go. There's
Scary and there's Danielle, and I see Gandhi and Nate
and Scotty b and uh there's Garrett and me I
guess and whoever drops by. I mean it's always open
for guests. Who's walking around out in the big good
studios and walking around a second ago? Alright, Fritz one

(00:46):
of the engineering team members. Of course, Dianna is on
the camera. Hi, Diana Banana, I miss you, all right,
So where do we start? How do we start today's
fifteen minute morning show podcast? Any ideas? Okay, dad jokes?
We go? I saw a good one, but I don't
know if I can say it. I think you can.
Of course. It's easy for me to say because you're

(01:07):
going to say it. Okay, why did six stay away
from seven? Why? Why? I mean you guys have always
heard this right, because because seven was a sex offender? Okay,
very smart, but I mean you could have said anything there.
I saw that one. It made me laugh. So but

(01:29):
what else could you say? I mean, that's seven, was
a murderer. I mean it could have been anything. That's
not funny. Are you ruining it? Why not? Just doesn't
have to be a sex offender. But we stand next
to a murderer every day. But if, oddly, if defenders,
maybe it was a sex offender, we wouldn't hang out
with him, by the way, that joke would not be funny.
If well, you call scary at sex offenders sometimes no, no, no, no,

(01:54):
not a sex offender. But you say he has a
white van soundproof? There was in my life where I
like to date younger women. I still do. She's younger
than you. Didn't You didn't have to say anything. Remember
when you were going to go to the bar with
Greg T's daughter. Oh my god, what that was yesterday?

(02:16):
Tell me, no, no, no, no. I just said that
when Kydan Froggy's son turns twenty one, I'm gonna take
him to kick you on the river. That's all. That's
all I said. I said, it's awkward for me to
hang out. So now you're in the twenty one year
old boys. Elvis, he's not one yet, I know, my god,
but scary is preparing and planning. He's grooming. I was

(02:41):
you married younger? You didn't, right, I didn't. He was
way over twenty one years old. But I will take
my kermit the frog. Keith, what do you mean? Are
you trying to bring me into your assholo life? About this?
Was got But Elvis, you man at younger. People associate

(03:03):
white vans with underage. I'm never never ever dated under age.
So you had a white van though now he had
a blue van. It was a blue van. Can we
talk about this tomorrow on the show? Can you hold
a white van and you get shipped for it? Sundproof
with shad carpet? Like my friend Dustin he had a
white van because he did events and stuff and he

(03:24):
would pick dates up and they would see this white
van roll up and they're like, no fucking way our cars?
Hey man, can I borrow your car? I've got a date.
So then I'm left driving the white van for the day,
the econo line windows because he did events and ship
but there was his car as he did. All right,

(03:45):
Well there's the white van conversation following a nice dad joke,
I'm just keeping score of the show. What else? What? What
What I mean, when I was a kid, we got
a memo from the school about the man in the
black van. So I'm not sure if the color has
changed over the years. I thought it was always white. Well,
I remember getting I remember getting the memo from school.

(04:06):
How did you get me? I was an elementary school.
The memos went home to the house, Boomer, and there
was a guy. There was a man. There was a
man in a black van we were all supposed to
look out for because he tried to snatch a kid.
Oh god, that's scary. This is why it can't be apparent. Yes,
he said the word snatch, grapy, kidnap, abduct, snatch is

(04:28):
totally acceptable. You can word let's all say the word snatch, Harry,
you see, that's what folks it up. You can't say
a hair, and that's not right. No one meant that.
Now you make us look like, you know what Scotty
looks like, and it's very appropriate. That room. I figured
it out that room Scotty is in right now. He
looks like he's in a police interrogation room. And after

(04:50):
today's show, I think he should be probably, But my
favorite is like he yells at us for saying like
that he's not a weirdo, that he's you know, not inappropriate.
And then he comes out which it like that, but
you all were thinking it. That's why we had to normalize. No.
He railroads us every single fifteen minute morning show podcast.
Like yesterday, he started the podcast and his first worms

(05:12):
out of his mouth was like the word diarrhea. We
had to start over. Yesterday we started the story. It
was I had a question, No you right away we're
talking about Danielle. Danielle, why did you have to restart
the okay, because we started the podcast and then it
comes out of his mouth that we didn't know what

(05:33):
to talk about. So he goes, I got a question
and it was about splattered diarrhea was so disgusting, and
I said, Elvis is not going to like this from
his dog. By the thing, we need to start over.
So we started. Credit to Danielle. Well, Elvis, you can
answer the question because you're a dog owner. What I

(05:54):
voted that we have scott all of his ideas to
us and right, okay, do not voice Look, you have
to admit Scotty does say some very very fun and
entertaining things very much to keep in mind. If you're
going to allow him to say whatever it comes out
of his mouth and you're gonna get a couple of duds.
I don't think that should have been restarted yesterday. My

(06:15):
question should have been answered, Well, you could have phrased
it differently, said, how did he phrase it? Okay, so
the way he phrased it was to the dog owners.
If your dog has really liquidly splattery diarrhea everywhere, do
you fake pick it up? Or what do you do?
But you could have just said, if your dog has
to go to the bathroom and kind of makes a
mess that you couldn't grab with a chunk, kind of mess,

(06:37):
maybe it was vomit. Even if it's vomit or diarrhea,
it's like the same consistency, isn't it pick it up vomito?
I don't see why we had to start over, because
no one wants to hear this. If you know what said,
people do want to hear it. Scare me, but doesn't
mean we have to give it to them. It doesn't

(06:57):
mean we have to play into their nasty, gnarly and
the mare. Look at Scotty, it looks like he's been
already arrested and detained and he's waiting for serious He's
in an interrogation room. Can I get something from my
My daughter wanted to make me a serial killer's flag
for the wall, Like, can I get something? Or am
I not allowed to? We need to we need to
have that approved. We really do that. I'm not I'm
not kidding. When he is freaking out in that room.

(07:19):
There's a bit of like an asylum vibe to it too. Yeah, yeah,
there's asylum. I feel like you keep telling us. I'm
not gonna answer that. I'm waiting for my attorney to
show up. And you know it's funny Elvis Watch. So
there's a window in front of Scotty, so it's like
we're at SVU and we're on the other side of
the glass, like watch interrogating him the right. You know

(07:43):
what we ought to do. You have to do the
lines on the back wall that let's show how high,
how tall he is, so we can do a lineup.
I'll go steal it from the seven eleven later in
the wall. Yeah, Scotty, here's too much. I'm talking like
we should get we should get five idiots in here
and it'll look like a lineup. That's exactly what it looks. Well,

(08:04):
we have an overabundance of those, so that shouldn't take
too long to get that started. You know what, I
saw a lot of if Scotty Be, or as a
lot of textures called them today, hottie B when I
said I was interactive, which I am. I admitted, but
a lot of people it's the fact that you admit
it is the problem. Don't you understand that. Let's get
past that. A lot of people no, no, no no, no,

(08:24):
no no, we're not getting past anything. Can't you be
someone humble and just know that you're attractive? But when
you start saying I'm attractive and people like, no, you're
fucking ugly. Now, sudden stop it. I'm attractive. But a
lot of tex said double down, trouble down, trouble down.
A lot of textures like it need's okay, But boy,
that's one hottie B. They don't know me, you know what?

(08:49):
And what does Scotty Be not do that Nate does
all the time. He doesn't break. He never talked about
and I don't think I'm as hot as you, so
I would never say it, because you see that's what
he is, Hotter than you, Nate, But that's what a
hot guy would say. What do you just said? Well, okay,
and you listen. I'll be honest, Scottie. You know you're

(09:10):
looking pretty good these days. But I do have a
little mole on my penis. You know, every time you
say that I'm trying to help you. Here be his
mold on his penis. That's both moles and mold mold.
It's a mole or something. Yeah, just a little a
little mole that I was concerned about, that's all, you know.
Do you know that some listener, some listener dm me

(09:31):
and said, you know, that was a big violation of
hippo laws. They never should have yelled out your email
address in the lobby. I'm like, whatever, I mean, I
still the radio. By the way, hippo law is only
entail when medical professionals are talking to other medical professionals.
So like if if I was to say, like, oh,
you know, my my dad's sick with blah blah blah,
that's not a hippo law against my dad. That's if

(09:53):
a medical professional. I think that's the one misconception just
medical to medical because the doctor can't come tell me
what's wrong with Danielle. Correct. But but someone yelling out
Scotty B's address at a CBS isn't a hippo law.
Like if the doctor came out into the reception area
and said, oh, we found that fissure on your butt hole,
you know, while the whole there's all people there. I mean,

(10:13):
that's not only an embarrassment, but there has to be
something ethically wrong with that. Correct. But when people talk
about it, like if we talk about it in the
room right now amongst friends, that's not a hippo law.
That's okay. By the way, that's not accurate because there's
a managerial issue too in this company. If let's say
Nate starts talking about Gandhi calling in because she has

(10:34):
a fisser on her bottle, that that that that is
a law. I don't love it's hippo though, but it is.
It is a law of things. Were correct? Yeah? Well,
well no, no, it is. But people use hip all
the time. I'm like, oh, you're bringing hippo laws. If
we're talking among friends a hippo law, it's a hippo law.
You can't talk about hippo's. So there's that. What else there?

(10:58):
Nate Nate, Nate, don't talking at my health. I'm not
going to. I'm not going to. What I was going
to say is I think if anybody had a reality
show on our show, Scotty B would be so entertaining
to Yea, I agree. So I missed the boat though
because my kids were like really, I mean, they're still funny,
but they were really funny when they were little, and
I totally missed out on it. But what was like

(11:19):
you your idiosyncrasies, like you ever like single or something?
If that ever happened, God would that be? So? Can
you imagine dating Scotty B? Can you imagine what that
would be like? Can we get Scotty Be on the Bachelor?
If that ever happened. That's actually the name of a
great show, dating Scotty B. I would watch that, would
watch contestant. My craziness would just drive everybody away exactly

(11:43):
that people without a doubt, like, all this guy's hot
until you get to know, don't say anyways around me
otherwise you're out. I would love to see you. It
as California Pizza Kitchen paying with coupon. You know Kermit,
that Kermit Jiffy that he's like that is Scotty. Scott

(12:06):
will be. He just like watches people and freaks out
about what they're doing. And one of my favorite I
laughed so hard every time he says that if I
ever do anything even slightly incorrectly like tape a box away,
that he wouldn't like it. He's like, God, do you
know anything about life? And then he stopped, or if
he if he doesn't use he don't you know anything
about Lifeline? He'll say, you know nothing about love. I

(12:29):
tried to make that a new Year's resolution that would
not let little things bother me anymore, but it's just
really hard. And if you won't win a cereal bag
the wrong way, not the way, not the way, he
likes you to open the cereal back and if you
don't close, we're talking about its bags to be rolled down. Otherwise,
he tell me how to properly open and close the

(12:52):
cereal bag. Because I obviously was savage with you, I
get it. I mean I would, I would trust Scotty's
take on that he understands how to keep that serial
fresh longer people coming here like savages and just leave
the bag open and closed the box top that doesn't
work you're going to take care of it. You should
have seen him when I was trying to do insurance
stuff and I give him my n number. And but

(13:16):
that should bother everybody. That shouldn't only bother me. It
doesn't bother except for people who are anals. I'm trying
Danyelle the A T M machine after. That's just pure stupidity.
What little things? A little things? That's like we're saying,

(13:38):
I'm going to go to the supermarket. Supermarket. You don't
say things twice? What time is your lawyer showing up?
Is this one? We we use Elvis's line, Hey, Scottie,
are you okay? I am okay. My blood pressure is
up now. And I didn't even do anything, But you

(13:59):
say you did want to get upset about little things.
But you're getting so upset about little things. But you
guys are doing it on purpose. Should get upset because
you shouldn't know it. You know we're here just dog
piling as we always do. Okay, go ahead, I won't
I'm gonna be I won't gonna be fine with anything
you do. He's he's the most passive Chris. I don't

(14:20):
care anymore anymore anymore, maybe more smart. You sound like
the idiot, not me. Oh my lord, waited on time,
Oh God, please lord, But only a fourteen thirty and

(14:40):
this is the fifteen minute morning show, all the more
reason to get the hell out of here. We'll see
you later by by the fifteen minute morning Show