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July 20, 2020 14 mins

Everyone has something going on at their houses. Elvis checks his fridge for the first time in 4 months. Why don't you all wear a mask??

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
For what would you talk about on your on your
podcast fun fifteen minute morning show. Ah, the fifteen minute
morning show podcast. This is gonna be interesting because Daniel
has has renovation work going on in our house. So loud.

(00:25):
It's just so loud. Oh no, it's calm now, wait
to wait to pick up again. I mean, there we can.
That's that's me. Sorry, are you blending a drink? What's
going on there? At least making breakfast? Okay, we have
we have construction going on at Daniel's house. We've got
the Magic Bullet making breakfast over at Garrett's house. Gandhi,

(00:49):
what kind of noise is happening at your boyfriend's department? Oh?
If you listen really closely, you can hear my new
snail scooting across the tank. They don't make noises. I know.
That's the only sound I got going on over here.
And there's froggy. This sounds nice and quiet. Usually we
hear the screams of his wife begging for a divorce.
That today scary. I mean, I'm in the studio, was scary.

(01:11):
I gotta say it's been great being in the studio today.
I love it, and we are socially distant times too,
because we're about twelve people know that. That's still my pet. Peeve,
don't tell me you're socially distance. I know you are, Yeah,
but you have been shamed into that as a society.
You have to tell people that, because if you don't know,
you're part of the problem. That's their problem. You know.

(01:31):
I had some people this weekend giving me shit hind
of s Yeah, I thought we're on the air for second.
No, No No, we're on the on the podcast. Shit people
giving me ship this weekend about stuff. I'm like, go away,
just leave me alone. Why are people just giving ship
all the time? And then speaking of giving ship? Hey, Brodie,
how you doing? Hi? Thank you for posting it, says,

(01:54):
don't tweet me. It's a Brooklyn Boys catchphrase. A listener
sent it to me. Okay, what we're saying? I said,
thank you for putting up that very informative cartoon graphic
of how to stay safe by wearing pants. Yes, I
put that there because I thought it was funny. But
people started yelling at me. Yeah. I got into a
two day argument on your page. Sorry, two days? How

(02:19):
the fun do you argue with somebody with two days
about that? I love that. Apparently Bill Gates is trying
to control the population of the planet. I couldn't deal
with it. But even with that piston in your pants,
like you have to follow along? Hell on what the
analogy is? It really is stupid, but I posted it
because it was stupid. Yeah. So, if if two people

(02:40):
aren't wearing pants and one person pas, he gets all
the P on the other person. If the other person
is wearing pants and the p or isn't, then you
want to get some P on you because the pants
protect you. But if both people wear pants, then the
guy peeing p's himself and doesn't transmit the p It's
an analogy for the old coronavirus. It's in masks, it's

(03:02):
and it's not you know, technically correct in in in
in parallels. No, but it draws a theory that makes
perfect sense, though exactly, but people I put them because
I thought it was kind of funny the way the
drawings were stupid look at it. But people started that
they wanted to start debating me. I'm like, I'm not
even going to answer you, because you're fucking You're looking

(03:23):
for a fight. I'm not here, and they got one,
and they got one, Brody. If you want to go
onto your own social Brody will bring, He'll bring the
fight by os are those are the people who that
pissed their pants growing up? Maybe they're offended, Nate, is
my truck still up front? All right? Still up front?
We're good? I don't know I can say now because

(03:48):
I've moved my truck. I couldn't lock my truck. So
my truck has been on New York City streets all
morning unlocked. Well, there's no tires on it, but the
truck is still there. It's kind of brick going to
the this and they say, well, your teeth are fine,
but your gums have to come out. You got the
tires either. It's sorry about that anyway. So here we

(04:08):
are the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast. Enough about construction
noises and and making breakfast milkshakes and Brody fighting on
my Instagram? Hey, Scary, can you turn Elvis as micup
at all? Or no? Is that not possible? Unfortunately? No?
Originally it is what it is. Usually I'm louder than everyone. Okay,

(04:31):
so my mic is probably as low as his. I'm guessing.
All right, I'm gonna do what I can when we
put this into post production when when I when I
when I you know, edited down. However, I'm just warning
you the sound may not be ideal when people are listening,
So this is why you know. So well, then I'll
sit out the rest of the podcast. No, no, no, no
no no. It's safe that that Nate, Elvis, and me

(04:52):
are all coming in at the same lot. Correct. Scary
is louder than Elvis, which is suspicious. Yeah, I'm sure
he engineered it that way. Scary, He's coming in hot.
All right, you guys move on talking about what's on
your mind today. So I want to know, so, Elvis,
you being back in the studio for the first time
in four months, did you ever check the refrigerator in
your office. I'm afraid to go back to it smells

(05:14):
like salmon. Maybe that's where that salmon smells coming from.
I'm gonna go look at my refrigerator now. And that's
why he never returned his excuse. And at least he's
checking his fridge in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Exactly appreciate that.

(05:35):
Does it does smell like salmon? Right? Scary? Yeah, yeah,
And but this is a new smell because we've been
here four and a half months and it has not
smelled like that ever. Well, here's your question. Over the weekend,
a lot of times they turn off the air conditioning.
They've always done that. Over the weekend, it was dank.
It was damp. Yeah, it smelled like coming through here. Yeah.

(05:56):
Has anyone checked? Has anyone checked the Morning show refrigerator?
It's pretty empty. I mean, okay, there's nothing really in
there because that thing gets nasty when with air. Hey, Brodie,
what are the trinkets behind you today? I can't make
out what they are because every day it's something new. Well,
do you want me to explain that? Now? Wait till
us gets back. Are those videos coming back you? Okay?
So right as you as you know, Froggy, I am

(06:19):
part of the world of the very lucrative lawn hose
nozzle collectors. You may have seen our shows on the
on the cable. Yeah, there's a lot of money to
be made collecting nozzles. So it's collect that's what you have,
that's not Those are nozzles. Three how many water hoses
do you have? Y See, it's my nozzle right there?
Say he still got the tag on it. You've never

(06:40):
even use that ship. That's because it's a collector's items.
You don't take toys out of boxes. This is part
of yours and a lot of money to be made. Froggy,
don't laugh. A hose to take care of those nozzles?
What back? That got a hose? Azzle collection in the background? Yeah,

(07:03):
who can e? I am part of the very lucrative
industry of nozzle collecting. Yeah, nozzle talk. Take our refrigerator
for it is spoilage. Nothing spoils when it's all alcohol.
It's all rose good. We thought we thought you weren't

(07:24):
coming back. I said this side of a bit. This
is like he did. This is my microphones all funked up.
I'm not gonna talk you guys, go ahead, weird. You
can talk on scary as Mike. I don't understand scary
how like you are twice as loud as Elvis, Like,
how's that possible? Yeah, I'm fine. I have no idea.
There's no gain on any of these mikes. There's nothing
to control. It's either well, you're gaining. You're gaining attention

(07:46):
because you're loud. You guys, go ahead, don't worry about me.
I'm fine. What'd you say? Elvis exactly. The woman who
went on my Instagram page and told me that I
was the reason why everybody was dying. And then I'm an,
why are you killing people? Know which one that you're

(08:07):
an ugly funk or that you're which is just no?
Because I was I was pictured by myself standing in
public without a mask. You know what scary? I get
the same thing. So we went out this weekend and
everybody goes, oh, you know, Florida's sucking it up for everybody,
and I'm like, oh really, So then I sent the picture.
I sent the video of the woman who was completely

(08:30):
naked almost in the parking lot of the Speedway gas
station in New York while nobody's social distancing, nobody's wearing masks,
and they're throwing cash at her on the ground. I'm like,
it's not just Florida, so shut the funk up. Nice.
We are getting angry. There's a lot in Florida. Though
there's a lot in Florida. Though there's a lot, and

(08:51):
there is we we there's a lot everywhere. So come
on the air every day saying do the smart thing
to wear a mask, And so they want us to
have a mask on twenty four today. But there are
places where you don't need a mask. There are some
places where you need a mask, So figure it out.
In What I don't understand is like these places that
are like we're implementing that everybody wear a mask starting tomorrow,

(09:12):
So what does that mean everybody's germ free today? Like, well,
I think they do that to give you I think
they do that to give you time. Like if you've
already planned on going there that day and you don't
have your masks starting tomorrow, you're going to have to
have them. I get that. Really, who the fund doesn't
have a mask? I'm with Danielle Walmart said right away
masks right away, and Target was like three weeks from now.

(09:34):
So how many people are going to transmit in three weeks? Well,
targets thinking about it. Well, when Dixie says they're not
going to require masks at all, Dix doesn't need masks.
They're scary, scary, scary. I heard on Good Authority, maybe
from a listener you've had a conversation with, maybe from
someone else, that you are done with masks, that you

(09:56):
said you're not wearing masks anymore, that you said it
was political and not playing the game? Is that true?
Completely false? Completely false. There's no one who would have
heard that I carry a mask around. I wear it indoors. Well,
obviously we're on the air right now, so I'm not.
But I refused to wear one outdoors eating with my friends.

(10:18):
People want me to sit there at the beach with
my own company, and I'm done wearing masks outside at
the beach with my friends and sitting at a table
outdoors with people. But to and fro, I wear the mask.
But if I'm walking out by myself or I'm jogging,
which I never do. What the truth, you will not

(10:45):
see me wearing a mask outside by myself in the
open air. You will. And scary defense Scary is only
an ugly funk when he's at a table with his
friends alone, sitting with you know, like that woman said,
So whoever the that was telling a half truth? Whoever
said that? Okay, am, I am all about the mask indoors,

(11:06):
I'm respectful. In Uber's taxis subways we can never take,
you know, so when you're jogging and taking the subway,
you will always be seen wearing a mask. Two things
he never does get shopping in the mask, Okay, see here,
here's the thing. We were adults, were smart. We know
when and where we should or we don't need to
wear a mask. For instance, I took a photo of

(11:28):
me twelve feet apart from scary in our studio and
I posted it, and here's one person, where's your mask? Well, actually,
are so stupid, she says, where is tour mask? He o?
You are? Well, this is like Gandhi's. So for example,
I saw Gandhi when we were on vacation in Hilton Head.
Gandhi was up on a deck. I mean we were

(11:49):
twenty five or thirty feet from each other, and we
took a selfie together us way down on the ground,
my family and Gandhi's family up on the deck, and
people complained, why don't you have asks on? Because we're
twenty five ft from each other and we're outside. And
then Gundhi was staying with her family in a house.
She takes a selfie with everybody around the table. I

(12:10):
don't have masks on because we're eating and all living
in the same house. You jackass. It's still rather I'd
still rather have those people. Then if you put a
picture up wearing a mask and they put a sheep
icon Like, yeah, that's also annoyed the clown and the sheep.

(12:31):
Whatever happened to? Hey, I like that shirt you're wearing. Well,
I'm guilty of the clown. When I see somebody wearing
a mask in a car by themselves, I'll listen. I'm
gonna say no. If you wear a mask and drive
your car and there's nobody else in the car, I'm
calling you a clown. I don't give your ship with me,
like it or not, I'm calling a political I'm calling
you stupid. But I think a lot of people just
forget they get in the car. Not me. Man, When

(12:52):
I walk out of the store, I can't get it
off fast enough. Can you hear me? Hey? If is
it okay to drive around with your windows open, like
driving past people on sidewalks and things, Yeah, I do
question it, but but you know, look, it's too hot
to have your windows open today up here in New
York anyway. But like I'm driving, I'm thinking, oh my god,

(13:13):
what if I'm getting all sorts of COVID in my
snoot elvis? A couple of weeks ago, you went to
me in the garage and you asked I had made
a comment in the chat room that when I see
a convertible, I rolled my windows up. Well, this past weekend,
I didn't notice the convertible and the guy was smoking
a cigar, and all of a sudden I smelled cigar smoke. Well,

(13:36):
if I'm getting his long breath, you know, how do
I know what's in that cigar smoke? I don't know.
That's my that's my point problem. Can I get the
COVID just out of the air? I don't know. I'm saying, yes,
all right, Well that's why I wear my mask in
my car. From I'm in the room is scary. I'm
gonna get in here. Okay, I'm gonna call you a clown, broady,
but it's okay. We have one minute left. You bring

(14:00):
it on home. Did you guys see that funny meme
yesterday of the person who was going to Staples and
then it said, oh my gosh, I just got back
from Staples. They really sell Staples there, and they were like,
I can't believe that it's called Staples and they sell Staples.
And then the other guy he leaves and he goes,
where are you going? He goes off going to Dick's

(14:23):
thought it was so funny. Okay, is that really how
we're going? Okay, we're down, We're down to fifteen seconds.
Hold on, Froggy, you're supposed to say to Elvis, what
do you mean by that? Elvis? Yeah, what do you
mean by that? I think we all know how fun
hanging out with you. I'm going home. We'll find sporting
equipment by the fifteen minute Morning Show

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