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January 29, 2019 15 mins

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Elvis Present. I'm very excited because Gregg T is
about to teach us the difference between a boy and
a Manola that the audience sees right through all this
minutia and they understand that I'm a real person at

(00:25):
the day. Here's the thing I was saying, how t
if I had to get something fixed around here, teach
the guy I go to, but T always knows how
to fix everything because I'm a man, a computer thing.
I go to West I was here, but yeah, because
he's in trouble. But but hands on, Greg T is
the guy that I know is going to appreciate that

(00:47):
he and Gregg I'm a man producer, Jacob was a boy.
I hate all of you and we'll find out in
a second and then guarantee you and I'm scary and
and I guess we should start from the very beginning,
right because I'm the big In case you weren't listening today, Uh,
someone broke Elvis's owl lamp and he got to the
bottom of it live on the air. We tried to
hide it from him. It was originally gonna we were like,

(01:09):
you know what, out of sight, out of mind. We
were gonna we just it was just gonna be swept
under the rock and it was never gonna be seen again,
and no one would have ever known the way. Just
to explain, explain, like like we're the whole owl lamp
actually from making a murderer, right. It was an owl
lamp from the nineteen seventies, and it sits like on
a desk, like on a side table. And this was
an antique. This was the one of the actual originals

(01:30):
that were out in the seventies. And a listener sent
it to us and has three big owls on it. Yes,
but and it also doubles as an ash tray, and
it's a lamp, and it is there. It's but don't
we all have that one thing that's so ugly in
our house will not get rid of this lamp. Is
that he bought some like gold ugly reindeer that he

(01:58):
thought was the cutest rain dear for a decoration. And
every year that raindeer finds its way into my living
room and I go to him. I don't understand, this
is the cutest raindeer. I go it's gold and Gordy,
why is this raindeer. He loves this raindear. He will
not shame thing in the scary household that we have

(02:18):
around Christmas. We have a green st Nicholas, but it
looks like an elf or gnome. It's like, I think
the German Santa Claus or whatever. And my mother refuses
to part with this thing, and every year she puts
it out into Every year people look at her when
they come down. Why do you have this awful Gordy
versus Santa Claus on display? Everybody has that. That one thing,

(02:39):
and that one thing for us is the owl limb
right from the TV show and it's an original and
it's an antique that the story. Seven months ago. Seven
months ago, I bought a table for our family room
where the television is and everything, and I thought Church
would like it. It used to be a table that
you puty hay bales on and then you would pull it,
you know, on in a far steal it from a

(03:01):
farmer and it looks cool. No, there was a site
that I went to like they're like farming stuff and
you can buy it. There was and I ordered it
and it was cheap, but it's so cool and looks rustic.
Trish freaking hates it. She's like, that is the most ridiculous,
stupidest thing, and now she hates it so much she
put it in like this area where like she just

(03:21):
can't even look at it. She absolutely but I'm like,
it's beautiful. It's the coolest table ever. So let's best
start to where we're at now. That owl lamp somehow
ended up in pieces and was stowed away for a
couple of weeks or a week or two in your studio, Garrett, Yes,
and not my studio, the old old Elvis Dury Morning

(03:42):
show studio the go this morning. And then this morning
we saw it ready to be taken out to the trash.
She was next to all the other garbage. And then
it started when somebody snapped a picture of the broken
lamp next to the garbage pail and sent it to
Elvis where he's at in Santa Fe. Because Elvis is
not in the studio today, right. Well, that that somebody

(04:02):
is me, And I just thought that Elvis should know here. Well, yesterday,
why did you do that? Well, I saw yesterday in
four more pieces, and I said, well that's unusual. I
bet you Elvis doesn't even know that somebody broke the lamp.
So I was gonna tell him yesterday, but I figured
I'd wait till today because it was at the end
of the show yesterday. And then this morning I saw
the lamp moved out by the track, by the by

(04:25):
the garbage can. So I said, wow, somebody now is
throwing it out. So Elvis must know about this. So
I took a picture to make sure Elvis knew that
it was on its way out to the garden. Elvis
went on the Big show, Tod wanted answers, and so
because obviously didn't know, but we fetched up. What you
could have done is just moved it away from the
trash can and figured out what happened to it. Why
wouldst tattling on? Whoever broke the lamp? All right, so

(04:48):
the reason why our tech engineer West is with us. West,
why don't you tell the audience what part of the
lamp you had in it? What did you want in this?
I just went in the studio and it was just
sitting under the console. I don't know, right, So you
saw I didn't do anything with it. I didn't move anything.

(05:09):
I did not I emailed Andrew, what is the deal
with this lamp because garbage is assistant and I asked
him if it's garbage, and I had never heard back,
and I heard it on the show this morning. You
woke him about the lamp. I was like, oh, what
did I start being accused of moving the lamp to
the trash. Several people pointed, well, you send me a

(05:30):
text message you said, I'm glad I give you a
topic to talk about on the radio today. So I
took that as I put the lamp there because I
thought Andrew brought it up. Oh, Wes emailed me about
the lamp. We should throw it away. Jake never, so
we don't know, do know? Is the fact that Jake
was thought it would be a brilliant idea to try
to move a table top that you see at a

(05:52):
bar with a heavy lamp on it by himself because
he's been working out for two days. And he broke it.
So Jake broke the lamp. Okay, if nobody would have
said somebody would have not said anything. That's not right
English that nobody would have ever noticed that the lamp
was gone in the first place. It's literally been two
weeks and nobody has said a single thing, and I
was going to fix the lamp, and Elvis would have

(06:14):
come back and it would have been back. I didn't
have one Elvis who was gonna come back, and he
was gonna be back where it was and he would
have never noticed. But instead greg T's like, oh, who
do you remember that one time that you were napping
in someone send a picture of you to Elvis and
you freaked the funkup? Did that? You know? Yeah? You
always think I'm taking pictures? And then on top of
every recorded my voice between our conversation and played it

(06:36):
on the radio. No, for real, how did it happened again?
The table? Who knocked up the table? Nobody knocked it off?
So who was moving the table? You and who? And
by yourself? Oh so you're moving up by yourself and
it fell off, not you, and scary Scary was in
the room though, and he was in the room and
then it fell off. And then whose idea wasn't to

(06:58):
leave it under the the studio console? So you, Scary
and go, he said, pushed under there, and daniel manarow whistle,
Daniella pushed under there. No nobody told me to do it,
but Danielle agreed to put under there as well, and
then yes, yes, that he found out he was. So

(07:21):
now Danielle's being accused of trying to cover this up. Danielle,
you have the floor. Okay. First of all, God's not
even here to DEFENDERSLF. We were all in the room,
were videotaping, and we were in the adjacent room. But
I didn't even know it had broken. I don't think
we didn't say it broke. And then who said put
it under the table. What do you mean you didn't
know it? Like Danielle, you didn't see You were't in

(07:44):
the room when Jake moved it and and it broke
and goes oops, No, I was there for that. You said, oops,
I didn't you think that Jake threw your name under
the boss? But you and you were not a part
of it. I was not. You just said you were
in the room. I wouldn't. Didn't make me part. Okay,
So you're in the room. You're in the room and
the lamp breaks. It's a huge lamp, so it's gonna
make a lot of noise. Are you saying you just
sat there and didn't notice, did not see it. We

(08:06):
were filming something and I filming a video. It must
have happened after we left the room. There was before Daniel.
The one thing I'm learning about Jake care he's bad
at assuming things learning. He assumed West moved the lamp.
Not true, because it's not true. So Jake, I would
stop assuming things. Well I could have, but that's exactly

(08:28):
what millennials do. They just do. They fix it, They
figure it out, and they make it work. You didn't
fix it. So I went to you and I said, hey,
great tea, I need your help because I know you're
the master of fixing things. Again, he lies, a kid,
That's what happened. We have the proof on my answers story.
Oh my god, he's so wrong again. Mike Stewart, let's

(08:51):
Mike Stewart, one of our other engineers my career. One
of our other engineers came into the back room where
we have our elms, durand desks in our office, right
and he comes back with a little tiny tube of
crazy glue. Because Jake, being the millennially is, thinks that
can fix that mess with a tube of crazy glue. Well,
in all fairness has behind this morning. Our friend Danielle

(09:13):
de Lilo actually did fix the lamp once before with
crazy glue. Okay, not this mass. This thing is so
shattered that you cannot even do it. There's nothing you
can do. So is it done? So that I said
to my career, and I said to him, I said, Jake,
you cannot do it that this way. And then so
then Jake hands him the thing, goes, okay, get me
this other thing, and I told Jake, get up off

(09:35):
your ass, follow my career to the engineering department and
come back here with what what's called liquid nails. So
liquid nails is a very thick substance type of a glue.
It's almost like a cocking. And you put that into
what he broke, and the kind of that your attorney brothers,
that was real window clocking. That's never story. And then

(09:58):
together right, and then that will hold this thing, because
hence it's called liquid nails. So then I fixed it
with liquid nails. Because my career said to Jake. He goes, Jake,
he's right, I have liquid nails. And then he said,
all right, well, let's get it fixed now. It does
need to dry now for at least twenty four hours,

(10:18):
so by tomorrow it should be good enough to be
strong enough, and then we can reattach all the other things.
This is the second nime. This thing, this thing isn't
such a mess. And again you know we shouldn't have it.
It shouldn't be here with it doesn't want to be.
It doesn't. It brings us bad luck. It's not a
good lamb to have, do you feel, Jake, Well, what

(10:40):
I've learned from all this is I can't trust anyone.
Know what we've learned the true dirty liar. You're quick
did everybody's as under. Even if I was a dirty liar,
I would have covered it up if scared him throw
me under the bus on the second. Had Great Teaa
not sent the pitch the albums in the first place,
none of this would have happened. Again, you are now
going to come back down to me. Did the right thing?

(11:01):
I did the right thing. He did wait on it
for twenty four hours, but I went to the police
to tell them what was wrong, gotten away with it.
And when it was kids who moved it to the
trash anyway, who moved it outside of that, we thought
it was you. That's why I wasn't even here, Jake said,
you moved to the trash. I wasn't even here yet.

(11:22):
It was on the rate. You're a dirty pirate took her?
Who was going to throw it away? Somebody maliciously was
going to throw this away? Was probably I didn't even
by who was here before everybody else? In the morning,
I get here first before everybody. No, it was there.
When I want to notice next to the trash, I did.

(11:44):
When I who took the picture and send it to Elvis?
I did? No Jake, I saw why he's a millennial.
He passes the just Scooby Doo. Do you you've just
been Scooby Doo. You set Jake up, put the last
there and then taking the it, and then you recorded
me even more to make it even more. The millennials

(12:05):
never think of repercussions. They love to pass the buck.
They've watched on all these reality shows how to get
out of trouble. They passed the buck to the next person.
This is why millennials like to be right the group
away from you. They like everything emails definitely sound. They
like to have it all the emails so they can
forward the email to the bosses when somebody gets in trouble.

(12:28):
They like to make sure everybody else is checked off
on all the boxes, so it never comes down on them.
That is what happened here. We just solve the crime.
They moved into the trash. I did not get a
school by snack. Now, I'm telling you that's not what happened.
I still believe that West threw it out. He just

(12:50):
ordered you a new computer. Let's just get it to
help you. Right, sucked. I wasn't even here. Credit card.
What do you guys know the difference between the three
point four and a three point five processor? Now it's nominal? Yeah,
I don't, but nobody knows. I don't three. He knows
everything about he said, just the difference. He's anything. Would

(13:13):
you even ask that question when he wanted to? I
wanted to know if you guys knew what I know.
But I wanted to know if you guys do for
heavy lifting, if you were doing a lot of stuff,
then you would you would need it. But you don't.
You really don't. You're you're you do a lot of
editing at home. Break the lamp. I need to break
the lamp, to be honest, I was happy it was

(13:36):
going to trash. I think the thing is just let
all know. I could have But I know that Elvis
really likes this lamp, so I wanted him to know
what was going on here. He is the only one
I can trust in this room. When the cat is away,
the mice will play, and they shouldn't be playing. And

(13:57):
you guys should all be in your best behavior when
the teacher's gone, and when the teacher's gone, you're not
on your best behaviors. Gregg teas the rat that caught
Jake in a mouse trap. That's right. No, the reason
that we tried to do this in the first place
is because he was gone so that we could fix
it before he even notices. And two weeks ago you
broke it into which he didn't fix. And don't I
hear yet. So I'm gonna tell you the same thing
I tell my daughter Jada. Things do not fix themselves. Yes,

(14:19):
she millennial generation. Let me tell you think millennials do nothing,
do nothing, wait to see generation Z. Dude, they do.
My kids do a lot nothing nothing. If you're under
if you're you are a part of generation which is

(14:40):
the generation after. So how bad are they going to be?
The worst? They will do nothings are the best? You're
just mad because millennials are so great yourself. I hate
all of you, and Gandhi is the only one I trust.
Oh my gosh, Gandhi would throw yours into the fifteen
minute morning show

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