January 28, 2025 • 5 mins
Today, Skeery phone taps Garrett's grandmother as the obnoxious Mr. Michael Oppenheimer!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Tap Scary, I swear to God, Scary picks up more
women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once.
Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well that person is a sick oh crazy. The email
coming into our studio says, I want you to phone
tap as many people in my family as you can,
because I love your phone taps.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll
lie through their false teeth just to get those people
off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass
them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result,
especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all.
This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Hello, This is.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you
doing today, Miss fine?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
We have the adopted pet bananza going on here. We
have a lot of pets that need some homes.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well I'm not really interested, thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
We have Don Tippet. Hello, this is mister michaelap And
with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's Are
all right?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Did you just call up?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, we're not animal friendly here, okay, we must.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet
bananza going on today.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Are you suld we're not animal friendly?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Do you want a dog? Sir?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'll have this trace.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Miss.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to
be in big trouble.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
We have dogs, avail.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I don't care what you have available, pal, Okay, stop
bothering me.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
These dogs need homes.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Maybe you need a home.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Do you have a dog or a cat?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes? Would you like to?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Would you?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Then go get one alone, because if you call one
more time, I'll have your trade. Miss.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Can I tell you about our annual pactacular blowouts? Out?
Care what you have?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Shove them?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
We have dogs?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Eppenham with
Animal League. How are you doing today?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Man? I'm sorry I cannot talk with you, right, Yes
you can.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your
day so we could talk to you about our annual.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times.
I'm not interested in what you have to ask me,
and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll
report you to the do not Call.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
We cannot do that at this time.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire.
I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm
not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I
am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We
are all allergic to pets.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You take medicine for the allergy.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Don't worry about my medicine.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I don't need a dog.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
We got cats on credit.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I don't need your credit with cats.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son
that likes it.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
To you don't have any more sons living with me.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Does somebody want to play with an iguana?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Not that I know of.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
No, we have purebreads starting at three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
May I have your phone number? I can call you back.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Office, me Yess's central office, and who do you represent?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Were located in a central office in.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Idaho, in Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho
and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be
bothered any longer.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
We can schedule an appointment for you.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not
have a dog. I have a allergy to dogs, and
I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off
your list, please, Okay, I do not call on my phone.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh we don't respect it do not call policy.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
But you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Oppenheimer, and who gives you the right to go into
people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an
emergency call. I yesked you to get off the phone.
You've called six times.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But we have here's the thing that we.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Have, no thing. Get off the wire and leave my
phone number alone.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What's your name?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
It's none of your business. My name is Okay, I'm.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Going to look it up in the computer here, hold
on to take a look.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Care no, goodbye, good bye bye, but this list is
good bye hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please
get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If
you have called me for six times, you say you
know my name, you say you know my number. I
(04:24):
do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs.
I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't
stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Misattracted.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You've got to stop this.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Stop misattracted Smith.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Calling, Stop calling my name.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I'm being calm. I'm being calm.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
You can't calm. You're tying up my phone for the
last half hours. How are you to do this?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I'm mister Michael Offenheimer, and all I want to do
is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza
going on. You stop it, miss attracted. All I want
to tell you everything must go.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Get off the phone.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. Now I'm
going to report it to the police.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Now I've got to get the police.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and
mixed breeds at two hundred dollars. Yes, oh yes, missus
Smith please scary Jones, and you've been phone taking.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
These people should not give people heart attacks on the
other side of the phone.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Is he in trouble?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
This joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Elvis Duran's phone tab. This phone table was pre recorded
with the permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Tap Scary, I swear to God, Scary picks up more
women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once.
Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Well that person is a sick oh crazy. The email
coming into our studio says, I want you to phone
tap as many people in my family as you can,
because I love your phone taps.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll
lie through their false teeth just to get those people
off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass
them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result,
especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all.
This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Hello, This is.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you
doing today, Miss fine?
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
We have the adopted pet bananza going on here. We
have a lot of pets that need some homes.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well I'm not really interested, thank you.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
We have Don Tippet. Hello, this is mister michaelap And
with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's Are
all right?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Did you just call up?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Yes? I did.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
No, we're not animal friendly here, okay, we must.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet
bananza going on today.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Are you suld we're not animal friendly?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Do you want a dog? Sir?
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I'll have this trace.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Miss.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to
be in big trouble.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
We have dogs, avail.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I don't care what you have available, pal, Okay, stop
bothering me.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
These dogs need homes.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Maybe you need a home.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Do you have a dog or a cat?
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Yes? Would you like to?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Would you?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Then go get one alone, because if you call one
more time, I'll have your trade. Miss.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Can I tell you about our annual pactacular blowouts? Out?
Care what you have?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Shove them?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
We have dogs?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Eppenham with
Animal League. How are you doing today?
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Man? I'm sorry I cannot talk with you, right, Yes
you can.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your
day so we could talk to you about our annual.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times.
I'm not interested in what you have to ask me,
and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll
report you to the do not Call.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
We cannot do that at this time.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire.
I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm
not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I
am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We
are all allergic to pets.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
You take medicine for the allergy.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Don't worry about my medicine.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I don't need a dog.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
We got cats on credit.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I don't need your credit with cats.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son
that likes it.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
To you don't have any more sons living with me.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Does somebody want to play with an iguana?
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Not that I know of.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
No, we have purebreads starting at three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
May I have your phone number? I can call you back.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Office, me Yess's central office, and who do you represent?
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Were located in a central office in.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Idaho, in Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho
and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be
bothered any longer.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
We can schedule an appointment for you.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not
have a dog. I have a allergy to dogs, and
I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off
your list, please, Okay, I do not call on my phone.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh we don't respect it do not call policy.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
But you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Oppenheimer, and who gives you the right to go into
people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an
emergency call. I yesked you to get off the phone.
You've called six times.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
But we have here's the thing that we.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Have, no thing. Get off the wire and leave my
phone number alone.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What's your name?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
It's none of your business. My name is Okay, I'm.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Going to look it up in the computer here, hold
on to take a look.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Care no, goodbye, good bye bye, but this list is
good bye hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please
get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If
you have called me for six times, you say you
know my name, you say you know my number. I
(04:24):
do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs.
I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't
stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Misattracted.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
You've got to stop this.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Stop misattracted Smith.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Calling, Stop calling my name.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I'm being calm. I'm being calm.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
You can't calm. You're tying up my phone for the
last half hours. How are you to do this?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
I'm mister Michael Offenheimer, and all I want to do
is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza
going on. You stop it, miss attracted. All I want
to tell you everything must go.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Get off the phone.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. Now I'm
going to report it to the police.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Now I've got to get the police.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and
mixed breeds at two hundred dollars. Yes, oh yes, missus
Smith please scary Jones, and you've been phone taking.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
These people should not give people heart attacks on the
other side of the phone.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
Is he in trouble?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
This joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Elvis Duran's phone tab. This phone table was pre recorded
with the permission granted by all participants.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show
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