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March 8, 2018 • 14 mins

We talked about doing something in life that NO ONE has ever done before. Also Brody has a story about a dirty banana and Danielle?!?!?!

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Firm Press Minute Morty Show. Everybody feeling Nate, You're feeling giggly.
Some of the stuff we talk about, and I don't

(00:23):
want to talk about a great tea, but some of
the stuff we talk about when the mics are off,
I just can't. I've never I don't think anybody's ever
had a conversation like that in the history of the uniroom. No,
I'm not gonna go there either. But what I can't
understand is that in my mind it seems as real,
like it's normal, like everybody. That's the problem. But that's

(00:43):
what you would think it's normal. I think, Daniel, that's
where the disconnected because knowing you and being a roommate
with you for all those years, just twenty two years,
knowing you are not there's nothing normal about you. But
I what I really can't believe is that this is
not normal. When you were a roommate with Scary, you
slapped him in the head with your penis one time, Okay,

(01:06):
but that's that normal. That's not normal, and you can't
people do that. You kept putting poop in his toilet
and then you put brown bullion cubes in his shower
head one time was coming one time to the floor
when he put his feet in them of the shoes
to the floor was classics. The same guy is the
same guy trying to get your shoes and they're stuck

(01:27):
to the floor. I don't ever want to read those
days again. So great, But when Burgola came up with
it was like, so great. If I like chocolate ice
cream and he like vanilla ice cream, I would buy
the chocolate vanilla sectional ice scream that's half and half.
He wouldn't eat it. He wouldn't eat the vanilla because
it was poisoned by the chocolate, because it would touch.
That's not normal. You're not a normal. What if you

(01:49):
want if you like vanilla, why would you want to
be with chocolate chocolate? I don't want chocolate touching my vanilla.
You put you take a knife and you cut it
like a quarter inch of vanilla. These are just a
couple of things that make you not normal. For instance,
I was trying to tell a story about a picture
I put on Instagram yesterday that was relatively innocent, and

(02:10):
he took it down a completely other Hershey Highway. And
I'm not gonna get I'm talking about before, but say
I just for real, look when I told you about it,
think about what was I really thought it was real.
What I can translate out of what that conversation was
that we're not going to have is that every once
in a while, Have you ever had that moment where
you say, I'm the first person in the history of

(02:32):
the world, the universe to do this particular Yes, Like, well,
what was it for you, Garrett? I mean, I can
only imagine what Greg t has done for me. I think.
I think it was the fact that it was recently
so when my daughter was born, I was holding her
listening to d m X, and I go, I'm probably
the only person in the world right now cradling two

(02:53):
day old listening to DMX, I think, And you gotta
be careful because their brangel sponges. So even though you
don't think, yes, it's gonna stay with you. Watch she
loves DMX. Right. Oh my gosh, what about No? No,
I was just waving at somebody on the other side
of the glass. Okay, but I don't have any of these.

(03:16):
You don't have one of those? No, I mean, what
could you name one for me? I don't know just
working at this show. Does imagine you had something that
you do and like no one else in the world
is doing exact sine thing you're doing right now or
it will ever do it ever again? Give me a
second come back to me. I've had that where I
when I had kids, when they were babies, I was
feeding them with my left hand and writing fart song
parodies for this show. Uh that I would. I was like,

(03:38):
nobody's doing this. I remember saying to my wife, look
at me, I'm feeding it with my left hand and
typing fart songs at my right. But for me, that
the thing is real real quick about Greg T. The
thing about Greg T, which I think you just reversed
what's your topics much better? Is you said, have you
ever done something that you thought no one else in
the world does. The problem with T think about it
is he does things that are normal and thinks everyone

(04:01):
else in the world does do that, and then and
then he's amazed when why you don't do that? That's
what I'm here. You know, there's one thing that comes
to mind. This is not that I could. I can't
believe that I actually did this. So they there was
a man in New York City that was going to
decide to start his own business. It was a poarwas
sailing business, right. He had no license to do it.

(04:23):
And all he had was a Paris sail and a boat,
and he hooked it up to the boat, right, and
Elvis was like, yeah, he'll do that. So they sent
me out there one morning Paris sailing through through the
New York City harbor, right, and there I am river.
I'm waving in the air, my power sailing right. He
has no he has no license to do it. He

(04:44):
decides he's gonna go under the George Washington Bridge, But
how do you get a Paris sailor under there? So
what he did was he slowed down as his boat
kept going. I came down from the height that I
was in and then he dragged me fast and slooped me.
How did I go? And I said, you know what,
nobody was doing that right there? The only one. And

(05:07):
you know what happened? Somebody called the police and then
the police boats came out and they're like, come down
from there like something. They dropped me in the water.
Are you sure you didn't hit your head on the bridge.
This is what happened. I was actually underneath the George
Washington Bridge. Okay, also also McDonald's with no pants. Remember right,

(05:28):
well the sign said no shirt, no shoes, no service,
but it didn't say anything about no pants when he
tried to shirt. He's been arrested at McDonald's with no
pants on. So anyway, Brodie has your towel. Well, So,
I don't know if you guys saw the picture I
put up on Instagram. Because of the storm in New York,

(05:48):
a lot of it stayed in hotels, but there's a
couple of different hotels. I stayed in one, and I
slept my giant bag of all my stuff for the
next day and my breakfast, my banana for the next morning,
and apple. Whatever I normally taken the morning, I had
to have in my bag and apple banana, whole thing.
So when I get to the hotel room, the banana
is smushed from the weight of my shoulder and carrying

(06:09):
it in the snow, all of my laptop, all of them,
my sneakers, all over my jeans, and so I tried
using a tissue toilet paper and it was so wet
it wasn't working. So I took a hand towel and
I went in my my suitcase bag thing and I
wiped all the banana off the inside of the bag,
off the bottom of my sneakers, in the grooves of
my laptop. And when I looked at it, the banana
had turned brown in the bag because it was in

(06:30):
there all day yesterday, so it was like brown, bushy
banana all over everything. So I looking at the towel
and I rinsed it off. I tried after I rinsed
it a few times and had brown and yellow stains
all over it, and it looked like the kind of
thing Gregg t would do all the time. And so
I put it on the sink, and I just like,
what do I do? Because I hadn't taken a shower,

(06:52):
so I didn't have like a towel to wrap around it.
So I put it on Instagram, and I said, should
I just leave it there with a note that says
it's just banana, don't worry about it. Should I leave
it by the toilet let them think it's terrible and
make it it's funny. Or should I throw it away
or like hide it like by someone else's room in
the hallway by the way, I would have disposed of
it embarrassing. You don't even want your name on it.

(07:13):
You don't want people speculating what it might be. I
would be like, just get rid of it. I want
to throw it out the window, but the windows don't
open in the hotel. You slipped it in between the
mattress and the box spring, sleep with a banana smell,
and not check it out? Right? What did you learn

(07:35):
from this, Brodie? I don't eat bananas. Know that you
don't pack what you're going to eat, like your lunch
and your food in with other things. You always pick
your food separate case that happens. Okay one of the options.
The option was only throw it out, leave it, leave
a note whatever I'm trying to teach you next time.
But one person on Instagram was let it soak in

(07:56):
the sink for three hours with some so I don't care,
I don't call you. It's this kind of goes to
the whole thing of what you do in hotel rooms.
You'll do stuff in hotel rooms that you will never
do in your house. I was in a hotel room
a couple of weeks ago, and I'm walking across the
carpeting and I step on something like sharp. I didn't
have socks on, and I looked, and it's a toe

(08:19):
nail that's stuck in the carpet. That's why I never.
I never. This morning, when I was leaving, I right
by my boots. I had my socks on that I
wore yesterday, and I peeled them off and put my
other socks on quickly because I was not letting my
bare foot touch the carpet. Yeah, I skive hotels, but

(08:39):
the first thing I do is I take that the
top bedspreading. It goes along with it. But I did
something yesterday that I wouldn't do it at home. What
was that? So after I refted the banana towel, I
realized I needed to shave, and I was like, I
don't want to do it in the morning. I shaved.
I shaved last night and I cut myself shaving because
the razor in my travel kit was old, and so

(09:00):
I cut myself. Now, normally I would sit there with
a washcloth on my face, right, but I already but
added the wash cloth up. So I just got in bed,
put my head against the pillow and it's like, let
the let the pillow stop the bleeding. Yeah, room, tell
blood pillow, here's something funny. My buddy tall Darren checked

(09:21):
into a hotel in Chicago and he was a fanciass
hotel that his work was paying for. He gets into
the room, he just had the worst. He was like,
oh my god, I'm so bad. He cloggs the toilet,
flushes the bowl. All of a sudden, all the water
starts coming out over the bowl along with what he
did in it, and it started floating into the room,

(09:42):
onto the corn bill hold on, So you know what
he doesn't just checked in. He ran downstairs furiously, excuse me,
I have checked into a I can't believe this room
was not totally this room. And then they're like and

(10:06):
they like they the lady goes up with into the
room say oh my god, I'm so sorry, sir, I'm
so sorry that we're gonna come the entire state executive.
Two people fired but banned. Sorry to have one. Okay,

(10:30):
that's awesome. So, speaking of things you don't do in
a hotel room normally things you was right. I got
a text message from Danielle should be a topic for
the Big Show. Absolutely So last night Danielle and I
were in two different hotel rooms. Let me know what
you guys, especially all three of you, a great deal.
So what would you have done in this situation? So
I texted Danielle, Hey, are you here or what room

(10:51):
are you in? Is? Oh, I'm in the hotel across
the street. I said, Oh, that's a nicer hotel. I
like that. I like that hotel. I've never had a
chance to stay in that hotel. So Danielle tell next
to me and says that she knows I have a hotel. Yeah.
She texts me and says, well, I've got two beds
in you if you want to come over, you can
stay in my room. What I said? What she says? Well,
you know, I'm used to sleep with my family, and

(11:13):
my husband's not here, so the extra beds here, I'm
all alone. I did not want to take her up
on that offer. But what do you don't think what's
gonna happen? Like Froggy and I share share hotel rooms
all the time. I understand that, so I don't right, Yeah, well,
but what do you think happen? Because nothing's gonna happen
with us, but something's gonna happen with you, And saying

(11:34):
you don't like women. He likes women. I mean, I
don't like we got to sleep with them, have sex
with them. So brody. I'm like in my head, going,
we're family here, Like I would have invited any of
you to come and sleep in the room with me
because I trust you well, you would invite great. You
know he has a thing for you. It doesn't matter.
I know t's not gonna I've been with Danielle, you know,
in quiet intimate moments, nothing's happened. I know my husband

(11:56):
would have no problem, and he'd say, of course, if
he wants to come over your hotel's don't who cares,
and he'd be fine with it. So I'm I don't
even know why there's even a question here because we
don't sex. That's why I didn't come over. Besides, if
I had banana towel in your room, you wouldn't like that.
I would not have been happy about the banana towels.
What you just walked in on this. We would just

(12:18):
want to know what would you do in a hotel
room that you would never admit to in real life. Well,
though you wouldn't do in real life, would you do
in a hotel you do in a hotel room. I
do everything everywhere. I don't need a hotel room. You
don't like abuse hotel rooms ever, No, never done. That's horrible.
Wh abuse hotel rooms alone through a TV at the
window of a montage? Okay? Have you ever thrown a

(12:39):
TV out there? But remember that time Nate smoked in
his hotel room and did not do that. I did
not do that. What happened to that? Okay? So the
hotel charged straight Nate for smoking in his room even
though he didn't. I didn't smoke. Two cents, I didn't.
They still haven't paid you that money back, still haven't
paid They won't even return my call. You know you

(13:01):
still got a biggott brody. We never do that. When
I was at the Olympics in Greece a long time ago,
some guy was messed with me one of our friends,
So I snuck into his hotel room and when he
wasn't there, I took a poop in his sink, and
that he was told down carpet floater just prior to
want I'm missing out on a great show because we

(13:26):
can't get that time back. Are you crazy? Moment was awesomement.
I missed it. His friend pooping in the toilet. Awesome,
that was it was a very you mean the moment
you're talking about the fact that he did that. I
think it's terrible that he did that. Though I'm talking
about is talking about gotcha on a scale of one

(13:48):
to ten? How much do you like bananas? On a
scale one? There you go really love bananas. Bananas are
pretty good. You know, I would maybe look do like
eight and a half. I don't have a ten on
a banana. I mean, it's it's old kill anything on
a banana. Like half the half of this podcast, by
the way, we talked about a smushed banana in Brodie's
hotel room. Cook can make a lot of things with bananas, right,

(14:10):
banana cookies bananas right, you can do great flavor, you
have great flap, does bring out flavor and things smoothies,
banana smoothies. How much times left on this it's almost
I don't know. I still contest. He was one of
the best podcasts, absolutely excellent podcast you ever had, Like
Flambai with a banana, Flambay, Banana Flamba absolutely like Banana's Foster,

(14:31):
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