I Became a Styrofoam Smuggler

Scotty B confesses to trafficking 1,000 illegal coffee cups across state lines — with Nate as his unsuspecting accomplice. Plastic bags, fireworks, and K-Y jelly taxes also make shocking cameos.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Get your hands together and we're gonna start to part
I'm ready to party.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
The elvist Ran after party.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
You're all ready for a podcasting?

Speaker 4 (00:20):
Yeah? All right.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
I did something I didn't think I would ever do.

Speaker 5 (00:26):
I became a smuggler over the weekend.

Speaker 6 (00:31):
I don't even want to know.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
So did you notice Scotti b laughing and clapping.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
You?

Speaker 5 (00:37):
Would you care to explain how this smuggling came to be.
I think I'm pretty sure I broke the law, and
you are now breaking the law.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
I don't know if ether one of us actually did,
but I just looked it up, so go ahead. Okay,
So the environmentalists are gonna yell at me, but I
I prefer a styrofoam coffee cup because I've been using
them for years.

Speaker 7 (01:05):
And I hate you already.

Speaker 4 (01:07):
I'm crazy the way that I'm regimented. And when I
use that cup, I know exactly where I can start
drinking my coffee on my way to work because it's
the perfect temperature and whatever.

Speaker 7 (01:16):
You're a scumbag. Wait, do they make cyropham cups anymore?

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Yes, that's where this is heading. Okay, So I order
cases of a thousand of them, and they last me
like two or three years. And in between the time
I ordered the last case and the time that I
ran out, they were outlawed in New York.

Speaker 7 (01:33):
And New Jersey, as they should because they're terrible.

Speaker 4 (01:35):
That's cool. So it's a lot of things. Oh that
is getting terrible, that's great. Well my kids will have
to deal with it. I don't give a crap.

Speaker 5 (01:43):
So anyway, worst fathering moment I've ever heard come from you,
and I've heard.

Speaker 4 (01:48):
Some bad ones, but go on. Anyway, it's convenient for me,
so I don't care.

Speaker 6 (01:51):
All right.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
So anyway, I went on Amazon and it's like, sorry,
can no longer be shipped to your area. I'm like,
what the hell? Then I tried your house, Danielle and
Jersey thing. I don't want to get your startpuck cups.
People know it's coming to my.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
House, participated in smuggling, and then we keep going.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
So then I was like, oh, wait a minute, Nate's
parents live in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania doesn't care. So I went
on and Amazon's like, sure, you could send it to Pennsylvania.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
My god.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
So I asked Nate. I'm like, hey, when's the next
time you're gonna be in Pennsylvania because I want these cups.
He's like, I want to be there this weekend. I'm like, cool,
can I send them to your parents? And he's like, yep,
I'll bring them in for you. So I ordered them
to his parents' house that were delivered everything. And this
morning Nate's like, hey, man, I got the cups. Im downstairs.
I was all right, cool, so I ran down, I
grabbed him, I put him in my truck and here
we are. Now I got coffee for three.

Speaker 7 (02:35):
Years, Yes, smuggler, here we are.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
And I looked it up.

Speaker 5 (02:39):
They've been outlawed in banned, which I don't even know
if we can be in possession of them.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
So you love to see Scott get dragged out of
his home over these cups like a drag.

Speaker 4 (02:49):
To get pulled over on the l ice.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
So good.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Is that a possibility that you could get arrested for
having them?

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Fine?

Speaker 4 (02:56):
No, because they still exist, they're still made, and they're
still legal in a lot of the country.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Yeah, And I don't know having one cup, it'd be like, okay,
you got a dime bag on you. Yeah, I was
essentially trafficking styrofoam. And I will tell you. This box
was enormous. When I got to my parents' house, we
I couldn't even go in the front door because the
box was so big.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
It was the size of a casket.

Speaker 7 (03:18):
Nay, you realize you're an accomplishment.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
I know I am.

Speaker 7 (03:20):
And technically you're gonna do the time, not him.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
Because because.

Speaker 7 (03:28):
Are you on the state line.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Well here's the thing. Look, they're not for purchase in
New York and New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Are you gonna do a little black market styrofoam cups?

Speaker 4 (03:38):
I'll go downstairs and sell sleeves of them. I don't care. No,
But I think I think that there. I think that
food service places are still allowed to use the takeout containers.
I think could still be styrofoam, but for whatever reason, no,
no more cups allowed.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Cups. Okay. It's amazing to me.

Speaker 8 (03:52):
Like when when I was in Florida in Jacksonville and
I'm in a store and they're bagging stuff in plastic bags.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
I'm like, what is happening? The same thing.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
Yeah, They're like, oh, it's fine here, but what Okay,
But here's the thing. You can still buy them in
New York. Like the shop right that I go to
they sell cases of them, but there are not a
lot of bad groceries in them. So I buy cases
and then I bag my own groceries in plastic bags.
I will not change.

Speaker 7 (04:16):
Wait, I didn't know that you can buy because.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
You could buy them a costco too.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Cases.

Speaker 5 (04:21):
It seems to be Scott's motto written across his forehead,
like he's been thinking about a tattoo.

Speaker 7 (04:25):
It should be I will not change.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
That's right, and belligerently, I'm stuck in my ways.

Speaker 7 (04:29):
Say this and find a way to continue. I don't
want it.

Speaker 8 (04:31):
I don't want to appear to be defending Scottie because
I am all. Also, let's be clear, I am for
the outlawing of styrofoam, but I will say this. They
the drink does taste different in styrofoam containers, then it
doesn't plastic.

Speaker 7 (04:45):
Yeah, it does taste.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Taste the best in a glass. Or can't put hot
coffee in a glass?

Speaker 3 (04:53):
You can put hot coffee in a thermos.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
Drive the car with a glass, you have to speed.
I also, I also have a glove compartment full of
plastic straws for those damn restaurants, and only a paper.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Guess you're not going to change, Garrett.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Let me get you up to speed.

Speaker 5 (05:05):
I participated in smuggling Scotty's how many thousands, one thousand,
one thousand styrofoam cups?

Speaker 6 (05:11):
Oh, you're smuggling for Scotty too. I'm smuggling for Scotty
as well.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
Scotty.

Speaker 4 (05:15):
Hey, wait, what.

Speaker 6 (05:18):
So so Scotty wants to save on taxes?

Speaker 4 (05:20):
Come on, dude, now, I'll go to jail.

Speaker 6 (05:22):
So he ships things to my house.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
You use all your Jersey people, I.

Speaker 7 (05:28):
Ship some to you.

Speaker 6 (05:29):
When did he call?

Speaker 3 (05:30):
When did.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
What?

Speaker 6 (05:32):
You want to know?

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Why?

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Because he felt guilty of the amount of packages he
sent it to my house over the last two weeks.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Oh my gosh, I got prom dresses sent to my house.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Garrett had dozens of Amazon boxes on the.

Speaker 6 (05:43):
Spot, no joke. Probably about fifteen bus carry.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Half of that in.

Speaker 6 (05:46):
And you know what, It makes me happy that.

Speaker 5 (05:48):
Scott has not asked me to do this, because I
think he knows I would tell him off.

Speaker 4 (05:52):
No, you live in an apartment building. I get nervous.

Speaker 5 (05:54):
Okay, okay, how much money did you say sending stuff
to Garrett and to Daniel?

Speaker 4 (05:59):
Hundreds of dollars?

Speaker 3 (06:01):
That much?

Speaker 4 (06:02):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (06:02):
When he told me the price that it costs for
all these packages and the amount of money he was
saving us. Like, how can you say no, like the
state sales Yes, yeah.

Speaker 4 (06:11):
Well because there's no tax on clothing or shoes in Jersey.
Oh yes, zero?

Speaker 3 (06:15):
True?

Speaker 6 (06:15):
Wait is this illegal?

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Like what we're doing right and we're admitting to like
like kind of why?

Speaker 7 (06:20):
I just want to see dragging.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Scotty.

Speaker 4 (06:27):
I don't know that we should be talking about this
at the time. That Hold on a second.

Speaker 8 (06:30):
I'm a legal resident of the state of New Jersey,
and when I go shopping in New York at mall's,
I have This has happened quite a bit, that's right.
Rather than walking out of the store with the merch,
they were like, they tell me behind the counter, we
could just send it to your house and it's and
you don't get taxed. I'm like, great, idea, Now I

(06:50):
don't have shopping bags. I could walk out of here
and in two days.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
You're a resident, so.

Speaker 5 (06:54):
You're not doing anything wrong.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
He's not a resident.

Speaker 7 (06:57):
I've done this for Robin before years in Brooklyn.

Speaker 6 (07:01):
You're now you're with Scotty. You and Scotty control.

Speaker 7 (07:04):
Gift. Technically, Robin lives with you, so sure that.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
It's such a great area because you can have it
sent anywhere.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Right.

Speaker 5 (07:14):
In fact, I think Pennsylvania's tax is cheaper and there
is no tax on clothing. So you're gonna start sending
stuff in my parents' house to Scotty.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (07:24):
What else is leanient in Pennsylvania that's not in New York.

Speaker 5 (07:27):
Journastic bags everywhere, fireworks works.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
I think fireworks are legal here now too, not like
they are in Pennsylvania. Yeah, but not you can't buy
an M. E. D And shop right, you can buy
maybe a bottle rocket with your birthday cake.

Speaker 6 (07:47):
Scotty.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Remember when we went to go get fireworks one year
and we had to be very careful that the police
would pull us over.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
Yes, because a lot of times when you go to
the ones that are right over the border in Pennsylvania,
like the police will wait in the park and they
watched the people with New York and New Jersey plates
and they pull them over.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
I felt like we were like running from the law.
After we got out of the fireworks store that one time,
they were like, all right, keep a lookout over your
shoulder if you see anybody.

Speaker 4 (08:12):
I get nervous for that stuff. I wouldn't be nervous
for style from cups, but fireworks.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (08:17):
I would like to say.

Speaker 5 (08:18):
You're scamming the system, but I think you're just outsmarting
the system.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
Look, I'm just getting what I need and I gotta
get it however I need to.

Speaker 6 (08:25):
You know, you only bring in the ky.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
That's very heavily taxed in New York. So yeah, are
you serious?

Speaker 2 (08:37):
All after party