October 2, 2019 • 34 mins
Is there a way that you can use comedy to conenct with your co-workers better? Besides using your standard dad jokes? (please stop doing those)
This week, Dan speaks with comedian Chris Tabish, the co-founder of Venture West Consulting and the author of the new book "Comediology: Be More Effective and Fulfilled in Business With Comedy." Chris was like many people, stuck in a job that was taking a toll not only on himself but on his family. He was able to use stand-up comedy as a way to not only find himself personally, but find himself in business. It enabled him to break free of living outside of his heart and soul and find his voice, be present, and stop doing things for reasons other than experiencing joy and fulfillment.
Things discussed in this episode include...
- Why owning who you are is the ultimate way to bring true happiness in your life.
- The power of the "F It!" point and what you should take action when you feel you're ready.
- How asking yourself "WHY" can give you clarity in your current situation and where you want your life to go.
- Why making a career change may not be the right move and how to know it.
- How building the right environment around you can change yourself and your situation.
- Why the process of finding yourself can be just as powerful and fun as getting to where you want to be.
- How the fear of failure isn't necessarily what you think it is.
- Why you should recognize your success and give yourself more credit for what you've accomplished.
- How the fundamentals of comedy can actually be a way for you to build better connections with your co-workers.
Learn more about Chris and pick up his new book at comediology.com
Find Dan on Instagram @cscdanmason
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode eighty one, Finding Yourself by Finding Your Passion with
Chris Tavish. My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight,
getting divorced, battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career
where I was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's
actually the greatest gift I've ever been given. I used
(00:20):
my pain as a springboard to discover my life's purpose.
Now I want to share the same tools and strategies
which helped transform my life with you so you can
live life amplify. Hobbies are generally one of the first
things we throw out the window once we get into
adult mode. Life becomes about chopping wood, carrying water, earning
(00:42):
the paycheck, taking care of the family, and so many
times are creative interests get thrown out the window. However,
there's a lot of research out there that says enjoyable
activities performed during leisure time are associated with lower blood pressure,
lower cortisol levels, lower waste or conference and body mass index,
(01:02):
as well as perceptions a better physical function when we
find our thing and make time for it. That's also
correlated with higher levels of positive psycho social states and
lower levels of depression, as Albert Einstein put it, creativity
is intelligence having fun, and couldn't we all use a
little more fun in our life. That's why I'm so
(01:24):
excited to introduce you to my new friend, Chris Tavish.
During the day, Chris is the co founder of Venture
West Consulting in Silicon Valley, whose mission is to help
organizations create meaningful strategies and bring them to reality. However,
in the evenings, Chris is a stand up comedian who
has been active as a performer since and continues to
(01:46):
perform his act all over the San Francisco Bay area.
And then she'll find out in this interview today, connecting
with his passion not only saved his marriage, but has
also made him a more effective leader. Chris is the
author of the book Comediology, Be More Effective and Fulfilled
in Business with Comedy. Some of the topics Chris and
I discussed this week, or why owning who you are
(02:08):
is the ultimate tool to bring true happiness to your life.
We'll talk about the power of the effort moment and
how you can leverage a sense of desperation to take massive,
inspired new action towards the life you want. Chris will
tell us how the why in your life is so
much more important than what you want to accomplish. We'll
talk about why blowing up your current career might not
(02:31):
be the right move for you, and how a creative
outlet could make all the difference in your daily happiness.
He'll also talk about building the right environments around you
to change herself and your situation, why the process of
finding yourself can be just as powerful and fun is
getting to where you want to be. We'll discuss how
the fear of failure isn't necessarily what you think it is,
(02:53):
why you should recognize your success and give yourself more
credit for what you've accomplished, and how the fundamental of
comedy can actually be a way for you to build
better connections with your co workers. If you're enjoying the
conversation this week, you can screenshot the podcast, upload it
to Instagram or Twitter. Be sure to tag me at
c sc Dan Mason, and don't forget. We're in the
(03:16):
final days of our contest for you to win that
new pair of Apple air Pods. All you have to
do is leave us an honest review up on Apple.
Be sure to screenshot it before you click submit send
it to me Dan at Creative Soul Coaching dot Net.
Every single new writing and review that we get, I'm
going to make a donation to Feeding America that is
(03:37):
going to help feed one hundred and sixty hungry people.
Plus will get you in the drawing for your choice
of those Apple air pods or an Amazon gift card.
Shout out to Joshua Abel, who left an incredible review.
Joshua said when he found the podcast, he was in
a soul sucking job as a server, feeling useless and
worthless and drinking myself to death. He said, a little
(03:59):
more than three months ago, I found myself in jail
and at the lowest point of my life, but it
turned out to be a blessing because I was finally
able to get sober and with a clear head, started
to piece my life back together. I've always known I
was meant for great things, but just didn't know what
my purpose was. He says. About a month ago, I
was scrolling through the I Heart Radio app and Dan
(04:20):
popped up into my life. His opener, where he mentions
being successful, overweight, and unfulfilled, really struck a chord in me.
This is exactly how I was feeling, so I started
binging on episodes, and he says he started a brand
new video blog about his journey to sobriety. He's on
a path to live a more amplified life and wants
to use the knowledge he's getting from the podcast to
(04:41):
serve others. Joshua, I almost cried when I read that review.
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm
so proud of your journey. Congratulations on your sobriety and
know that you are blazing a path and inspiring other
people to do the same. So I love you for listening,
my man. That means the world, and would love to
hear your feedback. As always, you can leave those reviews
(05:05):
up on Apple or the I Heart Radio app, send
them to me. We'll get you in the drawing for
that new pair of Apple AirPods. In the meantime, Chris
Tavish is going to teach you how to find yourself
through finding your passion this week on Life Amplifying, Chris Tavish,
Welcome to Life Amplified, my friend. Thanks Dan, great to
(05:26):
be here. Thanks again for accepting the bribe. You know, yeah,
well you know, my my dog needs to eat. Man.
It's all good, um, take me back to because I
know that you say you found stand up comedy out
of desperation, and there are so many people who are
(05:46):
just going through the motions with like just emotionally soul
sucking job. But there's a lot of people too that
wouldn't think that you would be desperate being in a
high paying, almost sea level executive position in Silicon Valley.
So just give me the background. Where were you at,
what was going on, and why the desperation to find
(06:08):
another outlet. Yeah, and thanks for starting off taking me
that dark moment. I really appreciate it. Right into the deep,
into the pool. Let's go. I was. I was working
at a fortune company, and you know, I remember having
this thought. It was like every day when I walked
into work, you know this this this wrenching in my gut.
And even though I was I was a great performer
(06:29):
in terms of high reviews, but I had this just
this feeling that anytime I was going to get a
call and they're like, and I talked about this in
the book, that Okay, they're in the plane and they're
ready to jump. You got the parachutes right, And I'm like,
wait a minute, I was supposed to fold the parachutes.
I can't even fold a blanket like That's how I felt.
And and it was just this feeling of paranoia. I
(06:50):
remember actually seriously considering going and talking to a counselor.
Now it's funny even just what nine years ago, eight
nine years ago, the stigma of going to see a
councilor it seems pretty you pique us. Now people go
see a council or, no problem. Back then, there was
still a little paranoia and I was thinking, Okay, well
it's on the company insurance. I could go, but then
it would kind of leave a mark on my record.
(07:11):
I mean, these are these are the dark thoughts, and
when you go in through a hard time, you tend
to feel like the walls are closing in and you
tend to have paranoid thoughts. And that's kind of where
I was. And comedy, as odd as it sounds, was
one place I could go where I could say all
my problems and you know, they didn't know my employee number,
so that's it was kind of this relief. It was
(07:34):
fun and it kind of opened up and let's in
some light energy. I love that because one of the
people that we've interviewed on the podcast before is Paul Mecurio,
who is a stand up comic and one of the
writers for Colbert, and he talked about the same thing,
working at this white shoe law firm and almost keeping
a double life, like he wouldn't even let his his
(07:54):
girlfriend at the time, his wife now know that he
was going out to these clubs that late at night
and just looking for some way to give himself like
permission to speak because he was so constricted by the
corporate environment. How long had you been wrestling with it?
And you know a lot of people try all sorts
of things. They're like, well, I'll go to yoga class,
(08:15):
or I'll go to meditate, or I'll join a gym.
What was it about stand up comedy that was the
draw for you? I actually always love stand up I
remember as a kid, always wanted to do stand up,
always wanted to make people laugh. It really brought me joy.
In two thousand and ten, I actually had a death
in my family. My my nephew of eighteen years old
had passed away and woke me up to the point
(08:35):
where it's like, hey, you could do this all your
life and not give this a try. But life short,
I mean eighteen years old, and it's like this could happen,
and it made it real for me. Everybody's got the
ethic point, you know, where the pain of staying where
they're at just becomes too much and they know that
they need to make a change. What was the point
for you? Was it a decision to walk away from
the job and actually pursue comedy full time or was
(08:58):
it I've got to get out of this job and
do my own thing, and this is just an outlet,
Like how did all that come about? I remember it distinctly.
I remember coming home from work. I remember thinking, if
if I get it by a bus today, this is
this is how bad is If I got hit by
a bus today on the way to work, I wouldn't
have to go to staff meeting. Like that's how bad
(09:18):
it was. And I remember coming home and my wife,
who was very supportive, very level headed, there was kind
of a mark in the door, and and we have
three kids, and I was like, wow, what happened in
one of the kids take it out on the door?
What's going on? And she said, well, it was actually me.
She goes, I'm so frustrated feeling your frustration that I
just slammed the door really hard and it pretty much
(09:40):
was done with the door. And it made me realize,
you know, I'm I'm going to work, I'm making good money,
But why am I doing this? Really? The reason I
was doing this is to support my family, so my kids.
We grew up, we didn't have we were the electricity
was cut off every other month. We just didn't have
a lot of money. And so I wanted to provide
an opportunity to my kids. And that's why I was
doing them, you know, saving money, giving them, you know,
a foundation for college. And then I thought about, I'm
(10:03):
doing this so they could be what, you know, just
just like me. Sure, and that that is the point
that it hit me. It's like, oh my gosh, if
if I want them to go after their dreams, I
have to go after my dreams. I have to give
them an example that's way more powerful and motivating than
his to here's some money, go to college and be miserable.
Just like a good question for anybody to ask, why
(10:25):
are you in the career that you're in. So many people,
as we've discussed, there in a career where you know,
they were chasing money, they're in a career where they
followed a parent's footsteps. They're in a career. I talked
to people who were literally in a career because they
didn't know what they wanted to do and followed their
best friend to college and took the exact same major,
(10:46):
and you know, landed into a career that they just
fell into it that they didn't even want. So the
number one factor when you look at all the research
that determines people's workplace satisfaction is are they doing something
that's meaningful to am So I would think this is
just a great starting process. Yes, within the context of
an organization, But for the person listening right now who's
(11:08):
also in that soul sucking job and coming home to
the door that has the divot in the front because
their partner is frustrated by watching them be frustrated, is
why do I do this work in the first place. Yeah,
it's a great question. Then, I truly believe as as
a society we're kind of missing the mark. And what
I mean by that is looking outside of ourselves for answers.
(11:31):
I think initially we start with a why there are
things that we love to do when we're completely uninhibited,
and maybe if we look to ourselves as children, what
are those things that we really loved? What are those
things that brought us joy? And then as we get older,
all of a sudden we start to compare our what's right.
We start to look at hey, Bill is going to college,
Well what college is Bill going to? And I'm not
(11:51):
going to that good of a college. And then and
then Jenny gets a job, and then and then Jenny
got a great job. You know, my boy, I cheese
in technology. I better get in technology, and start to
get caught up in this what versus what rat race,
and it's completely outside of ourselves, and it's completely on
a comparison of the what's and the what's ultimately don't
bring us joy, They don't bring us fulfillment. And so
(12:13):
when you look at that thing that really sparks your
interest inside, and that's actually whether it be comedy, comedy
just happened to be a catalyst for me. But what
comedy did for me is it forced me to have
a point of view. You kick it up on stage
and just be like, well, so what do you guys think?
You got to have an opinion? You know, um, I
don't eat meat because it's got too much blood pressure.
(12:34):
I mean, obviously humor there, but but you need to
start with the point of view, your point of view.
You can't get away in comedy with following the herd
and so finding yourself, finding your point of view, being
authentic with that point of view is the path for comedy.
There is no other way. And but now I've learned
that that is the path for a fulfilled and fun life. Likewise,
(12:57):
there is no other way if you're looking for fun
and fulfillment. A lot of times people come to me
because they think the ultimate answer is I've got to
completely reinvent my career. I got to invent I've either
got to start my own business. I have to completely
change lanes and go over here and do this other thing.
And for some people that is the right idea. That's
(13:19):
the path that I took. I started a business in
a completely different world, you know, in terms of coaching
and self help, and I was doing when I was
playing Justin Bieber songs on the radio for fifteen year olds.
And I've seen people make these massive transitions. But is
it possible that sometimes the answer isn't even a new career.
It's just bringing a new version of yourself to the
(13:41):
existing career, because it seems like that's a little bit
of what I'm hearing from you today. Well, I would
say if you're in the eight track and video cassette business,
probably not for everybody else. I'm glad you're bringing it up,
because that's exactly what I've done. I still do the
same thing, the same what I've done before, but I
come at it from a different approach. I think anything
(14:03):
that you do, I don't think of what is going
to solve that that. I don't think, you know, getting
from the entertainment business into the technology business is going
to be a cure. I've witnessed that. I've tried that myself.
The only answer is is getting through to yourself. And
I think once you figure that out, once you kind
of get in touch with your own point of view,
(14:24):
your own what's what's bubbling up inside of you, it
will kind of point the direction. It's kind of a
slow process. It's an organic process. It's not a Hey,
I'm going to apply for a position at Google, and
it's not. It's more it's gonna take time, and it's
more kind of eroding what I think we've learned to
getting at what is the core of us. But in
(14:44):
my experience, once you find that core, it sort of
points the way, and and the way is It's funny
because in my experience the way is a little it's
a little scary, it's a little frightening. If I when
I started this process that I was so afraid to
even demonish straight to anybody or or tell anybody that
I did stand up comedy, that I had to use
a false identity, and now I'm out here talking and
(15:07):
publishing a book about comediology. I would have never imagined that.
But it points you to way, the way and and
kind of going at your own pace, but you know
that direction and something more profound and more quite frankly beautiful,
at least yourself. Then you would have imagined starts to
unfold and you just have to be patient with yourself,
but enjoying the process, enjoying the process of finding you.
(15:28):
And because that's in my opinion, and sharing that with
the world is the greatest gift you can give in
this lifetime. Tell me about the importance of failure along
the way, because one of the big things if you're
going up is a stand up comedian. And I'm sure
this is true of like the top level people, right
Jerry Seinfeld's the Anthony Jesel Knicks. Think of the people
who are at the top level right now, before they're
(15:50):
going and recording the Netflix special, they're showing up at
you know, the comedy store and doing a midnight set
and just trying out new material and some of it
works and some of it doesn't, you know. And this
is true even for the top level people. They're they're
in there, they're refining the craft. I would have to think,
you know, one of the big things that keeps people
stuck and is, oh my god, the fear of failure.
(16:11):
If I fail, you know, my family will abandon me,
people will judge me. Has stand up forced you to
go up and and bomb a few times and become
comfortable with failure to move yourself forward. I actually think
stand up is all about failing in front of people.
And I've gotten really good at that, by the way,
(16:33):
you know, when I first started out stand up, and
I think a lot of people go through this when
when they start stand up, all of a sudden they're
being judged that they're you know, not being laughed at
or worst yet being you know, called out on stage.
I think what happens is, uh, one of two things.
Either you're like, oh, this is horrible, people think I'm
a horrible person, and you kind of give up the ghost.
And so I went through that and I actually took
(16:54):
a hiatus because it was making me miserable to have
people think that I was a horrible person, right, that
I wasn't funny, that I was a hack, etcetera. And
then I had this insight that you know, because I
could go up on one one week and people wouldn't
like my material, and then I could go up on
the next week and all of a sudden, I'm a hero, right,
and people love my material. They were laughing and it
(17:15):
was great. And then I I realized, both of these
are illusory. Both of the neither of these are real.
It gets back to separating, in my opinion, for the
what from what what you are. There's a pretty amazing
story that uh that Deepak Chopra. He actually did this
meditation where he said, Okay, what I want you to
do is start off and go through a meditation. And
(17:40):
you say, I am Chris Tavish, I am a consultant.
So you say your name and what you do, and
then all of a sudden you say, okay, let's stop
what you do and just say I am Chris Tavish,
and then you would meditate I'm Chris Tavish, and then
you would just start to say I am that process
he's so succinctly put it in a meditation, But that
is the process of stand up comedy. It's separating you
(18:01):
from your material. You aren't your material. Now obviously you
think it's funny, you think it's of worth, or you
wouldn't be up on stage articulating that, but you are
not one and the same. You're a separate being and
so and it really helps actually when whether that be
on stage, whether it be at work, because we all
get criticized, whether in traffic, I mean, we all get
(18:22):
criticized at some point in time, but that isn't you.
You are a light being of this universe, however you
define that, but you are not your material getting up
there failing, failing, failing and then succeeding and then failing.
It's it's okay, there's something going on over here, and
I can learn the craft, but I can separate that
from myself and that actually gives At least, it gave
(18:43):
me more courage to grow and learn and try and
do different things. And it's easy when you look outside
of yourself. To other people, you're like, oh, they've felt,
but it's not a they're a loser for me. It's
more like, oh, they failed, and that actually gives me
more courage, like I can try something new. We don't
actually see how we look from the outside in when
(19:05):
we've felt, but it's actually my I think it actually
gives others inspiration not look down on us as we
think it would. I think most people stay stuck because
of the fear of judgment if they fail. And what
I don't think people are really open their eyes to
is you're getting judged when you succeed. You know, maybe
not as loudly or maybe you're oblivious to it if
(19:26):
you feel good about what you're doing. But if you're
a top level seven figures CEO, one of your employees
thinks you're an Assholet you know, somebody's all like look
at that. You know he doesn't work as hard as
I do, and he's driving the Mercedes into work, and
you know you did you talk to them before the
show because you're going to get judged whether you're successful
(19:49):
or whether you're failing, you might as well just be
true to yourself because the worst judgment at the end
of the day is really the self judgment when you
know that you're not showing for life. That's very well put.
And in addition to that, when we do good and
we we get i'll say judged, we also get sort
of typecast. You know, in my career, when I was
(20:09):
doing what I was doing, I was pretty good at it.
It was probably wasn't great at it. I was pretty good.
I got positive feedback. So all of a sudden, I've
attached that identity to me, and oh, what do I
need to keep doing? I need to keep doing what
I'm doing because if I do any different, I fail
and me as a as a being, as I am
a failure. You're right, you actually get judged. And that's
(20:31):
where I think people end up a lot of time
going day after day, week after week, year after year
in the same position because they're judging themselves on something that,
to your point, they've succeeded at, and so they need
to keep feeling like they need to keep going even
though it doesn't meld with who they are. You spoke
earlier to the cost of staying in a career where
you were frustrated, where you weren't happy, and it taking
(20:54):
a toll emotionally on the family. How have your relationships
changed stepped into this identity of just allowing yourself to
be Chris who is a consultant but also a stand
up comic. Is you've really owned who you are? How
are things different for you when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
(21:15):
I used to have this again illusion that if I
were this stand up comic and everywhere I go there's
a party, and hey, it's me and I'm authentic, And
it's not that way. I have to tell you. I
actually was probably more the life of the party when
I was living in fear, living in because I always
had to make an impression. I always was looking for
(21:37):
that validation. Now that could have been at work, it
could have been an interpersonal relationships. I always kind of
had to get that feedback. Now I actually kind of
realize who my friends are, who my people I really
want to invest time in. But other than that, I'm
actually you see me on the street, You're like that
guy does stand up? What are you talking about he's
just like he's a lump on a chair sitting next
(21:59):
to a lumpush A what I mean? But I feel
like I feel like I have those authentic relationships and
the relationships that I have are just are precious to
me and there and they meet a lot to me,
and I think the other person knows what they mean
because they know they're getting the real deal. Whereas before
I was fun, I was I would I would connect
with people, but it was it was very shiny veneer
(22:21):
and wanting to get that validation inside. I think I'm
much more I know, I'm much more fulfilled. I'm much
more content, but it's not on the surface as I
would have thought, if that makes sense. You know, it's
really interesting because I've been having this conversation with with
people over the past few weeks that are close to me.
My background was in radio, and I was a guy
(22:41):
for many years that put on this shiny veneer and
that's how I would connect with people, is you know,
kind of creating this outrageous personality. You know, say things
just for the sake of getting a reaction on the radio.
And it was interesting because some of it might even
be mean spirited in fact, some of it certainly was
mean spirited but would get a reaction, and if people
(23:01):
reacted negatively and judge me, I would still justify it as, oh, well,
that's just you know, my on air persona people people
don't know the real me. But I would never really
go deeper with people at all. And I always looked
at my sense of humor, and especially once I sort
of went through my dark knight of the soul and
made this change into launching a coaching business, I always
looked at my sense of humor as almost being a
(23:23):
bad thing. That it was. It was all about me.
It was about me getting my needs met. It was
about me getting approval or getting validated. And one of
the shifts I've made recently is that you can still
be true to yourself and that your sense of humor
is still a gift because you can give that in
service of other people, and you can say something that
brightened somebody's day, or if you have a quick weight,
(23:44):
you can bring somebody out of a bad emotional place
and be a source of positivity. How can people really
tap into that and use their sense of humor in
the workplace for the person who maybe was afraid to
speak up before, or they've been told that there two m.
Isn't there a way that we can use our humor
to benefit an organization and to provide value to clients, coworkers, bosses, etcetera.
(24:08):
A lot of people might be thinking that's that's actually
how I thought about using humor, and people are going
to perceive as you know, I'm going to tell a
knock knock joke in a board meeting, and you know,
that's not what I would recommend. I think to your point,
I think a lot of people look at that as
as like that's humor is not really going to mix.
When I talk about humor the book and and and
(24:30):
using comedy in the workplace, it's actually pilling back the
layers of humor. And what I mean by that is,
in order to get to a place of being funny,
think about what needs to happen. Typically, the funniest situations
that I've seen they weren't scripted. They were very spontaneous.
Something happens, somebody makes a remark, and it's just everybody's laughing. Well,
what happened is, first and foremost everybody had to be present.
(24:53):
They couldn't be thinking about tomorrow. They couldn't be thinking
about the past. They couldn't be thinking about the math
equation of where we're going to invest. They had had
to be in the room, present, connecting with other people.
The next thing is they had to be authentic. And
what I mean by that is if something happened, they
weren't going to mask it. They weren't going to say, well,
I don't see anything and I don't acknowledge that something
(25:14):
awkward happens. You know, people a lot of times pretend
it just just never happened. But they call the spade
a spade, And that's being authentic with a situation and
conveying it to others. Now, it may or may not
be funny. People may laugh, they may not laugh. But
those things that are present for humor are the same
things that are present to have an effective outcome in
(25:36):
a meeting. And so what I might suggest is not
to go into a situation thinking I'm going to telegrate
knock knock joke at a board meeting, but to really
be present, um just like on you know, imagine yourself
on a comedy stage. It's like skiing down a really
intense heel. You can't be anywhere else but on that stage,
and you have to be in the room with people.
(25:56):
If somebody falls down, which actually has happened on a
on a stand up cage, somebody fell off the bar stool,
you can't just simply ignore that. You have to respond
to that and calling it what it is. And so
that's where I get the lessons from comedy and applying
them to the business world. It's not to you know,
try to write jokes. It's really to the foundation of
humor that really makes us a powerful business person as
(26:20):
well as a comedian. Can anybody learn to be funny? Yes.
When I started getting in a comedy, I used to
look at, you know, the great some of the you mentioned.
I used to look at, you know, Jerry Seinfeld or
or Robin Williams is one of my favorite favorites, or
or Sam Knison. But then I used to, you know,
try to be like them. And if I was like them,
(26:41):
that I was funny. But the funny was only a moment,
just a glimpse. It was like, hey, I would tell
a joke that sort of emulated Robert Williams, like he's
crazy guy, you know, and then all of a sudden
it was a mask and I had to take it
off and then be myself, and people will be like,
wait a minute, You're really not that guy, kind of
like you mentioned in your radio personality. So I think
what is people's a lot of what was my expectation?
(27:03):
I think what a lot of people's expectations. I need
to be funny like Robin Williams, or I need to
be funny like Jarry Seinfeld. But I don't think that
that's what I don't think is uh is worth trying
to attain or possible in a lot of cases. What
I do think is that you can be funny to yourself,
(27:23):
for yourself, for what you have inside of you. My
humor if you were to compare that to Robin Williams,
is completely different or Jerry Seinfeld. I'm a goofball when
I'm up on stage and i'm you know, I tell
stories about my kids and the things that they do
and the and the crazy things we do as a family.
In a lot of cases, that's something not something for example,
that Sam Kinison would I mean, that's completely different. So
(27:44):
I wouldn't be meeting that Sam kineson mark. But for
me and what I think is funny yes, and I
think other people find it funny too, But I think
first and foremost finding that funny mark within yourself and
what what is funny to you? And for that, yes, absolutely,
I think everybody can be be come funny and just
articulating what your point of view is and why you
(28:04):
think is funny is a gift that I think we
all have. For the person listening today, perhaps stand up
is not their thing, but everybody has their thing that
is going to allow them to express themselves freely. For you,
it's been comedy. Where would your life be today in
(28:25):
nine years later had you not given yourself permission to
pursue this passion. Wow, great question, Dan um, Well, I
certainly wouldn't be on this podcast. Let's take that firs
start and and what a tragedy for you. You know,
I'm not sure that I would have had the same
just being real about I'm not sure that I would
(28:45):
have been able to keep my family. I truly believe that.
I mean, you can only live with somebody for so
long that is living on side of themselves, that is
not being present, that is holding onto a lot of anger,
that that's just not you know. I mean, if I
were my wife. If I would be like, what are
you still doing here with me? This is you know,
you gotta move on, This is gotta I gotta find
(29:06):
joy in your life. I don't think I would have
had the courage to start my own consulting company. Um.
I don't think I would have had the courage to
just have some of the authentic relationships that I have.
I don't think I would have felt joy and fulfillment.
I mean the way that I do. I would have
been in a lot large part living in fear and
however way to articulate that, But that's I think. I
(29:29):
think that's would have been the case. Beautiful and I
admired the vulnerability of that. One last question. If if
you got to get up on stage, you had one
final time in front of a microphone, and it was
the last message that you could leave for the world
up on stage, what is it that you want people
to know? Well, I would leave this quote that I've heard.
(29:51):
I think it applies here. I think it's be yourself
because everybody else has taken that is the magic of life.
That is why we're here, is to experience. Everybody has
the unique experience, and everybody has a gift to share
with the world. It's uh playing below that. It doesn't
serve you, it doesn't serve anybody. It's something that if
(30:13):
you tap into, there's magic. When you think about depriving
other people of your gift, people said, come on, really,
I've got a gift that I'm I'm depriving the world.
That doesn't make you know, I mean, I'm not. I'm
just me, you know. But think about every single song
you've heard, everything or you love, every movie, you love,
every sitcom, you love, every anything, any building that you love,
(30:34):
any anything that's been manifested in this world that you
love that brings you joy. And if that, if that
thing hadn't been created, it would have deprived you have joy.
That song that you wake up to on Monday morning,
that that movie line that you quote with friends, that
that bring you both joy, if that wouldn't have been created,
you wouldn't have experienced the joy. And so just like that,
(30:57):
if those people wouldn't have gotten into touch with their
mad with themselves, they would have deprived other people. Likewise,
if if you don't get in touch with your magic,
if you you're in yourself, you're depriving other people of joy,
be yourself. So find that magic, find what's inside of
you and share it with the world. It's the greatest
gift that you can give. I love that. It's a
(31:18):
beautiful message. And I think sometimes we put a lot
of pressure on ourselves that you know, where the feelings
of self doubt or self or lack of worthiness come in,
where people are like, oh my god, who am I
to change the world? Like nobody says you have to.
But there's something within you that could make a difference
in your community. There's something within you that if you expressed,
(31:39):
it's going to change your kids lives or set them
up for success when they're adults. It could be the
change you make on one person that you have that
you happen to come across and you say something that
changes the trajectory of their life. But it doesn't really
matter the number of people to some degree, because that's
just more of like a vanity thing. It's just about
(32:01):
showing up in service at the end of the day.
And everybody has a unique way that they're that they're
able to do that, and you are certainly an example
of it. Chris really appreciate the time today. The book
is Comediology being more effective and fulfilled in business with comedy.
People can find that on Amazon and where can they
find you online if they want to find some more
(32:23):
of your more of your material thanks to Yeah, the
book is on Amazon. It's also on audible read by
yours truly if you can stand my voice for that long,
and they can find me at comediology dot com. Perfect.
Thank you so much for the time, Chris. This was awesome.
Damn thank you. It's been a pleasure. I love the
vulnerability that he brought to the table in that interview,
(32:45):
and it's one of the biggest things that I hear
and see from new clients is this belief that God,
if I make more time for myself, if I find
my thing, if I reinvent my career, I'm going to
hurt the people around me. And it's actually just the opposite.
You being stuck, you being stressed, you being overwhelmed, is
(33:06):
really taking a toll on your family and your friendships,
even if you can't see it yet. So I love
Chris sharing that anecdote about his effort point and really
love the analogy about those principles of comedy, just being
present in the room, being able to speak about what's true.
I think corporate America has lost sight of that so much.
(33:27):
There's so many people who are going into work every
day feeling like they have to waive the company flag
and pretend like things are great or just go along
with the flow, even when that might not be the case.
So the more we can bring our presence in honesty
into work and to all of our relationships, the more
it's going to benefit everybody. If you love the interview
screenshot the podcast uploaded to Instagram, you can tag me
(33:50):
at c sc Dan Mason. And if you are overworked, overwhelmed,
and just generally over your soul sucking job, but you
have been so full becussed on your career that you
don't even remember what your thing is. If you feel
disconnected from yourself, that is the best time to find
a coach. It's one of the things my clients love
(34:10):
most about the coaching process. A lot of times they
think they're coming to me to find their next career
best move, and what they do in the process is
they really reconnect to who they are and not just
the person that they've been conditioned to be in the world.
I have some v I P coaching spots open for October.
It would be my deepest privilege to serve you. You
(34:32):
can get info there and fill out an application at
Creative soul Coaching dot net. Thank you so much for
spending this time with me this week. Don't forget it
is time to turn down the volume on your negativity
and turn up the volume on your purpose so you
can live life amplified. I'll talk to you next week.
Episode eighty one, Finding Yourself by Finding Your Passion with
Chris Tavish. My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight,
getting divorced, battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career
where I was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's
actually the greatest gift I've ever been given. I used
(00:20):
my pain as a springboard to discover my life's purpose.
Now I want to share the same tools and strategies
which helped transform my life with you so you can
live life amplify. Hobbies are generally one of the first
things we throw out the window once we get into
adult mode. Life becomes about chopping wood, carrying water, earning
(00:42):
the paycheck, taking care of the family, and so many
times are creative interests get thrown out the window. However,
there's a lot of research out there that says enjoyable
activities performed during leisure time are associated with lower blood pressure,
lower cortisol levels, lower waste or conference and body mass index,
(01:02):
as well as perceptions a better physical function when we
find our thing and make time for it. That's also
correlated with higher levels of positive psycho social states and
lower levels of depression, as Albert Einstein put it, creativity
is intelligence having fun, and couldn't we all use a
little more fun in our life. That's why I'm so
(01:24):
excited to introduce you to my new friend, Chris Tavish.
During the day, Chris is the co founder of Venture
West Consulting in Silicon Valley, whose mission is to help
organizations create meaningful strategies and bring them to reality. However,
in the evenings, Chris is a stand up comedian who
has been active as a performer since and continues to
(01:46):
perform his act all over the San Francisco Bay area.
And then she'll find out in this interview today, connecting
with his passion not only saved his marriage, but has
also made him a more effective leader. Chris is the
author of the book Comediology, Be More Effective and Fulfilled
in Business with Comedy. Some of the topics Chris and
I discussed this week, or why owning who you are
(02:08):
is the ultimate tool to bring true happiness to your life.
We'll talk about the power of the effort moment and
how you can leverage a sense of desperation to take massive,
inspired new action towards the life you want. Chris will
tell us how the why in your life is so
much more important than what you want to accomplish. We'll
talk about why blowing up your current career might not
(02:31):
be the right move for you, and how a creative
outlet could make all the difference in your daily happiness.
He'll also talk about building the right environments around you
to change herself and your situation, why the process of
finding yourself can be just as powerful and fun is
getting to where you want to be. We'll discuss how
the fear of failure isn't necessarily what you think it is,
(02:53):
why you should recognize your success and give yourself more
credit for what you've accomplished, and how the fundamental of
comedy can actually be a way for you to build
better connections with your co workers. If you're enjoying the
conversation this week, you can screenshot the podcast, upload it
to Instagram or Twitter. Be sure to tag me at
c sc Dan Mason, and don't forget. We're in the
(03:16):
final days of our contest for you to win that
new pair of Apple air Pods. All you have to
do is leave us an honest review up on Apple.
Be sure to screenshot it before you click submit send
it to me Dan at Creative Soul Coaching dot Net.
Every single new writing and review that we get, I'm
going to make a donation to Feeding America that is
(03:37):
going to help feed one hundred and sixty hungry people.
Plus will get you in the drawing for your choice
of those Apple air pods or an Amazon gift card.
Shout out to Joshua Abel, who left an incredible review.
Joshua said when he found the podcast, he was in
a soul sucking job as a server, feeling useless and
worthless and drinking myself to death. He said, a little
(03:59):
more than three months ago, I found myself in jail
and at the lowest point of my life, but it
turned out to be a blessing because I was finally
able to get sober and with a clear head, started
to piece my life back together. I've always known I
was meant for great things, but just didn't know what
my purpose was. He says. About a month ago, I
was scrolling through the I Heart Radio app and Dan
(04:20):
popped up into my life. His opener, where he mentions
being successful, overweight, and unfulfilled, really struck a chord in me.
This is exactly how I was feeling, so I started
binging on episodes, and he says he started a brand
new video blog about his journey to sobriety. He's on
a path to live a more amplified life and wants
to use the knowledge he's getting from the podcast to
(04:41):
serve others. Joshua, I almost cried when I read that review.
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm
so proud of your journey. Congratulations on your sobriety and
know that you are blazing a path and inspiring other
people to do the same. So I love you for listening,
my man. That means the world, and would love to
hear your feedback. As always, you can leave those reviews
(05:05):
up on Apple or the I Heart Radio app, send
them to me. We'll get you in the drawing for
that new pair of Apple AirPods. In the meantime, Chris
Tavish is going to teach you how to find yourself
through finding your passion this week on Life Amplifying, Chris Tavish,
Welcome to Life Amplified, my friend. Thanks Dan, great to
(05:26):
be here. Thanks again for accepting the bribe. You know, yeah,
well you know, my my dog needs to eat. Man.
It's all good, um, take me back to because I
know that you say you found stand up comedy out
of desperation, and there are so many people who are
(05:46):
just going through the motions with like just emotionally soul
sucking job. But there's a lot of people too that
wouldn't think that you would be desperate being in a
high paying, almost sea level executive position in Silicon Valley.
So just give me the background. Where were you at,
what was going on, and why the desperation to find
(06:08):
another outlet. Yeah, and thanks for starting off taking me
that dark moment. I really appreciate it. Right into the deep,
into the pool. Let's go. I was. I was working
at a fortune company, and you know, I remember having
this thought. It was like every day when I walked
into work, you know this this this wrenching in my gut.
And even though I was I was a great performer
(06:29):
in terms of high reviews, but I had this just
this feeling that anytime I was going to get a
call and they're like, and I talked about this in
the book, that Okay, they're in the plane and they're
ready to jump. You got the parachutes right, And I'm like,
wait a minute, I was supposed to fold the parachutes.
I can't even fold a blanket like That's how I felt.
And and it was just this feeling of paranoia. I
(06:50):
remember actually seriously considering going and talking to a counselor.
Now it's funny even just what nine years ago, eight
nine years ago, the stigma of going to see a
councilor it seems pretty you pique us. Now people go
see a council or, no problem. Back then, there was
still a little paranoia and I was thinking, Okay, well
it's on the company insurance. I could go, but then
it would kind of leave a mark on my record.
(07:11):
I mean, these are these are the dark thoughts, and
when you go in through a hard time, you tend
to feel like the walls are closing in and you
tend to have paranoid thoughts. And that's kind of where
I was. And comedy, as odd as it sounds, was
one place I could go where I could say all
my problems and you know, they didn't know my employee number,
so that's it was kind of this relief. It was
(07:34):
fun and it kind of opened up and let's in
some light energy. I love that because one of the
people that we've interviewed on the podcast before is Paul Mecurio,
who is a stand up comic and one of the
writers for Colbert, and he talked about the same thing,
working at this white shoe law firm and almost keeping
a double life, like he wouldn't even let his his
(07:54):
girlfriend at the time, his wife now know that he
was going out to these clubs that late at night
and just looking for some way to give himself like
permission to speak because he was so constricted by the
corporate environment. How long had you been wrestling with it?
And you know a lot of people try all sorts
of things. They're like, well, I'll go to yoga class,
(08:15):
or I'll go to meditate, or I'll join a gym.
What was it about stand up comedy that was the
draw for you? I actually always love stand up I
remember as a kid, always wanted to do stand up,
always wanted to make people laugh. It really brought me joy.
In two thousand and ten, I actually had a death
in my family. My my nephew of eighteen years old
had passed away and woke me up to the point
(08:35):
where it's like, hey, you could do this all your
life and not give this a try. But life short,
I mean eighteen years old, and it's like this could happen,
and it made it real for me. Everybody's got the
ethic point, you know, where the pain of staying where
they're at just becomes too much and they know that
they need to make a change. What was the point
for you? Was it a decision to walk away from
the job and actually pursue comedy full time or was
(08:58):
it I've got to get out of this job and
do my own thing, and this is just an outlet,
Like how did all that come about? I remember it distinctly.
I remember coming home from work. I remember thinking, if
if I get it by a bus today, this is
this is how bad is If I got hit by
a bus today on the way to work, I wouldn't
have to go to staff meeting. Like that's how bad
(09:18):
it was. And I remember coming home and my wife,
who was very supportive, very level headed, there was kind
of a mark in the door, and and we have
three kids, and I was like, wow, what happened in
one of the kids take it out on the door?
What's going on? And she said, well, it was actually me.
She goes, I'm so frustrated feeling your frustration that I
just slammed the door really hard and it pretty much
(09:40):
was done with the door. And it made me realize,
you know, I'm I'm going to work, I'm making good money,
But why am I doing this? Really? The reason I
was doing this is to support my family, so my kids.
We grew up, we didn't have we were the electricity
was cut off every other month. We just didn't have
a lot of money. And so I wanted to provide
an opportunity to my kids. And that's why I was
doing them, you know, saving money, giving them, you know,
a foundation for college. And then I thought about, I'm
(10:03):
doing this so they could be what, you know, just
just like me. Sure, and that that is the point
that it hit me. It's like, oh my gosh, if
if I want them to go after their dreams, I
have to go after my dreams. I have to give
them an example that's way more powerful and motivating than
his to here's some money, go to college and be miserable.
Just like a good question for anybody to ask, why
(10:25):
are you in the career that you're in. So many people,
as we've discussed, there in a career where you know,
they were chasing money, they're in a career where they
followed a parent's footsteps. They're in a career. I talked
to people who were literally in a career because they
didn't know what they wanted to do and followed their
best friend to college and took the exact same major,
(10:46):
and you know, landed into a career that they just
fell into it that they didn't even want. So the
number one factor when you look at all the research
that determines people's workplace satisfaction is are they doing something
that's meaningful to am So I would think this is
just a great starting process. Yes, within the context of
an organization, But for the person listening right now who's
(11:08):
also in that soul sucking job and coming home to
the door that has the divot in the front because
their partner is frustrated by watching them be frustrated, is
why do I do this work in the first place. Yeah,
it's a great question. Then, I truly believe as as
a society we're kind of missing the mark. And what
I mean by that is looking outside of ourselves for answers.
(11:31):
I think initially we start with a why there are
things that we love to do when we're completely uninhibited,
and maybe if we look to ourselves as children, what
are those things that we really loved? What are those
things that brought us joy? And then as we get older,
all of a sudden we start to compare our what's right.
We start to look at hey, Bill is going to college,
Well what college is Bill going to? And I'm not
(11:51):
going to that good of a college. And then and
then Jenny gets a job, and then and then Jenny
got a great job. You know, my boy, I cheese
in technology. I better get in technology, and start to
get caught up in this what versus what rat race,
and it's completely outside of ourselves, and it's completely on
a comparison of the what's and the what's ultimately don't
bring us joy, They don't bring us fulfillment. And so
(12:13):
when you look at that thing that really sparks your
interest inside, and that's actually whether it be comedy, comedy
just happened to be a catalyst for me. But what
comedy did for me is it forced me to have
a point of view. You kick it up on stage
and just be like, well, so what do you guys think?
You got to have an opinion? You know, um, I
don't eat meat because it's got too much blood pressure.
(12:34):
I mean, obviously humor there, but but you need to
start with the point of view, your point of view.
You can't get away in comedy with following the herd
and so finding yourself, finding your point of view, being
authentic with that point of view is the path for comedy.
There is no other way. And but now I've learned
that that is the path for a fulfilled and fun life. Likewise,
(12:57):
there is no other way if you're looking for fun
and fulfillment. A lot of times people come to me
because they think the ultimate answer is I've got to
completely reinvent my career. I got to invent I've either
got to start my own business. I have to completely
change lanes and go over here and do this other thing.
And for some people that is the right idea. That's
(13:19):
the path that I took. I started a business in
a completely different world, you know, in terms of coaching
and self help, and I was doing when I was
playing Justin Bieber songs on the radio for fifteen year olds.
And I've seen people make these massive transitions. But is
it possible that sometimes the answer isn't even a new career.
It's just bringing a new version of yourself to the
(13:41):
existing career, because it seems like that's a little bit
of what I'm hearing from you today. Well, I would
say if you're in the eight track and video cassette business,
probably not for everybody else. I'm glad you're bringing it up,
because that's exactly what I've done. I still do the
same thing, the same what I've done before, but I
come at it from a different approach. I think anything
(14:03):
that you do, I don't think of what is going
to solve that that. I don't think, you know, getting
from the entertainment business into the technology business is going
to be a cure. I've witnessed that. I've tried that myself.
The only answer is is getting through to yourself. And
I think once you figure that out, once you kind
of get in touch with your own point of view,
(14:24):
your own what's what's bubbling up inside of you, it
will kind of point the direction. It's kind of a
slow process. It's an organic process. It's not a Hey,
I'm going to apply for a position at Google, and
it's not. It's more it's gonna take time, and it's
more kind of eroding what I think we've learned to
getting at what is the core of us. But in
(14:44):
my experience, once you find that core, it sort of
points the way, and and the way is It's funny
because in my experience the way is a little it's
a little scary, it's a little frightening. If I when
I started this process that I was so afraid to
even demonish straight to anybody or or tell anybody that
I did stand up comedy, that I had to use
a false identity, and now I'm out here talking and
(15:07):
publishing a book about comediology. I would have never imagined that.
But it points you to way, the way and and
kind of going at your own pace, but you know
that direction and something more profound and more quite frankly beautiful,
at least yourself. Then you would have imagined starts to
unfold and you just have to be patient with yourself,
but enjoying the process, enjoying the process of finding you.
(15:28):
And because that's in my opinion, and sharing that with
the world is the greatest gift you can give in
this lifetime. Tell me about the importance of failure along
the way, because one of the big things if you're
going up is a stand up comedian. And I'm sure
this is true of like the top level people, right
Jerry Seinfeld's the Anthony Jesel Knicks. Think of the people
who are at the top level right now, before they're
(15:50):
going and recording the Netflix special, they're showing up at
you know, the comedy store and doing a midnight set
and just trying out new material and some of it
works and some of it doesn't, you know. And this
is true even for the top level people. They're they're
in there, they're refining the craft. I would have to think,
you know, one of the big things that keeps people
stuck and is, oh my god, the fear of failure.
(16:11):
If I fail, you know, my family will abandon me,
people will judge me. Has stand up forced you to
go up and and bomb a few times and become
comfortable with failure to move yourself forward. I actually think
stand up is all about failing in front of people.
And I've gotten really good at that, by the way,
(16:33):
you know, when I first started out stand up, and
I think a lot of people go through this when
when they start stand up, all of a sudden they're
being judged that they're you know, not being laughed at
or worst yet being you know, called out on stage.
I think what happens is, uh, one of two things.
Either you're like, oh, this is horrible, people think I'm
a horrible person, and you kind of give up the ghost.
And so I went through that and I actually took
(16:54):
a hiatus because it was making me miserable to have
people think that I was a horrible person, right, that
I wasn't funny, that I was a hack, etcetera. And
then I had this insight that you know, because I
could go up on one one week and people wouldn't
like my material, and then I could go up on
the next week and all of a sudden, I'm a hero, right,
and people love my material. They were laughing and it
(17:15):
was great. And then I I realized, both of these
are illusory. Both of the neither of these are real.
It gets back to separating, in my opinion, for the
what from what what you are. There's a pretty amazing
story that uh that Deepak Chopra. He actually did this
meditation where he said, Okay, what I want you to
do is start off and go through a meditation. And
(17:40):
you say, I am Chris Tavish, I am a consultant.
So you say your name and what you do, and
then all of a sudden you say, okay, let's stop
what you do and just say I am Chris Tavish,
and then you would meditate I'm Chris Tavish, and then
you would just start to say I am that process
he's so succinctly put it in a meditation, But that
is the process of stand up comedy. It's separating you
(18:01):
from your material. You aren't your material. Now obviously you
think it's funny, you think it's of worth, or you
wouldn't be up on stage articulating that, but you are
not one and the same. You're a separate being and
so and it really helps actually when whether that be
on stage, whether it be at work, because we all
get criticized, whether in traffic, I mean, we all get
(18:22):
criticized at some point in time, but that isn't you.
You are a light being of this universe, however you
define that, but you are not your material getting up
there failing, failing, failing and then succeeding and then failing.
It's it's okay, there's something going on over here, and
I can learn the craft, but I can separate that
from myself and that actually gives At least, it gave
(18:43):
me more courage to grow and learn and try and
do different things. And it's easy when you look outside
of yourself. To other people, you're like, oh, they've felt,
but it's not a they're a loser for me. It's
more like, oh, they failed, and that actually gives me
more courage, like I can try something new. We don't
actually see how we look from the outside in when
(19:05):
we've felt, but it's actually my I think it actually
gives others inspiration not look down on us as we
think it would. I think most people stay stuck because
of the fear of judgment if they fail. And what
I don't think people are really open their eyes to
is you're getting judged when you succeed. You know, maybe
not as loudly or maybe you're oblivious to it if
(19:26):
you feel good about what you're doing. But if you're
a top level seven figures CEO, one of your employees
thinks you're an Assholet you know, somebody's all like look
at that. You know he doesn't work as hard as
I do, and he's driving the Mercedes into work, and
you know you did you talk to them before the
show because you're going to get judged whether you're successful
(19:49):
or whether you're failing, you might as well just be
true to yourself because the worst judgment at the end
of the day is really the self judgment when you
know that you're not showing for life. That's very well put.
And in addition to that, when we do good and
we we get i'll say judged, we also get sort
of typecast. You know, in my career, when I was
(20:09):
doing what I was doing, I was pretty good at it.
It was probably wasn't great at it. I was pretty good.
I got positive feedback. So all of a sudden, I've
attached that identity to me, and oh, what do I
need to keep doing? I need to keep doing what
I'm doing because if I do any different, I fail
and me as a as a being, as I am
a failure. You're right, you actually get judged. And that's
(20:31):
where I think people end up a lot of time
going day after day, week after week, year after year
in the same position because they're judging themselves on something that,
to your point, they've succeeded at, and so they need
to keep feeling like they need to keep going even
though it doesn't meld with who they are. You spoke
earlier to the cost of staying in a career where
you were frustrated, where you weren't happy, and it taking
(20:54):
a toll emotionally on the family. How have your relationships
changed stepped into this identity of just allowing yourself to
be Chris who is a consultant but also a stand
up comic. Is you've really owned who you are? How
are things different for you when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
(21:15):
I used to have this again illusion that if I
were this stand up comic and everywhere I go there's
a party, and hey, it's me and I'm authentic, And
it's not that way. I have to tell you. I
actually was probably more the life of the party when
I was living in fear, living in because I always
had to make an impression. I always was looking for
(21:37):
that validation. Now that could have been at work, it
could have been an interpersonal relationships. I always kind of
had to get that feedback. Now I actually kind of
realize who my friends are, who my people I really
want to invest time in. But other than that, I'm
actually you see me on the street, You're like that
guy does stand up? What are you talking about he's
just like he's a lump on a chair sitting next
(21:59):
to a lumpush A what I mean? But I feel
like I feel like I have those authentic relationships and
the relationships that I have are just are precious to
me and there and they meet a lot to me,
and I think the other person knows what they mean
because they know they're getting the real deal. Whereas before
I was fun, I was I would I would connect
with people, but it was it was very shiny veneer
(22:21):
and wanting to get that validation inside. I think I'm
much more I know, I'm much more fulfilled. I'm much
more content, but it's not on the surface as I
would have thought, if that makes sense. You know, it's
really interesting because I've been having this conversation with with
people over the past few weeks that are close to me.
My background was in radio, and I was a guy
(22:41):
for many years that put on this shiny veneer and
that's how I would connect with people, is you know,
kind of creating this outrageous personality. You know, say things
just for the sake of getting a reaction on the radio.
And it was interesting because some of it might even
be mean spirited in fact, some of it certainly was
mean spirited but would get a reaction, and if people
(23:01):
reacted negatively and judge me, I would still justify it as, oh, well,
that's just you know, my on air persona people people
don't know the real me. But I would never really
go deeper with people at all. And I always looked
at my sense of humor, and especially once I sort
of went through my dark knight of the soul and
made this change into launching a coaching business, I always
looked at my sense of humor as almost being a
(23:23):
bad thing. That it was. It was all about me.
It was about me getting my needs met. It was
about me getting approval or getting validated. And one of
the shifts I've made recently is that you can still
be true to yourself and that your sense of humor
is still a gift because you can give that in
service of other people, and you can say something that
brightened somebody's day, or if you have a quick weight,
(23:44):
you can bring somebody out of a bad emotional place
and be a source of positivity. How can people really
tap into that and use their sense of humor in
the workplace for the person who maybe was afraid to
speak up before, or they've been told that there two m.
Isn't there a way that we can use our humor
to benefit an organization and to provide value to clients, coworkers, bosses, etcetera.
(24:08):
A lot of people might be thinking that's that's actually
how I thought about using humor, and people are going
to perceive as you know, I'm going to tell a
knock knock joke in a board meeting, and you know,
that's not what I would recommend. I think to your point,
I think a lot of people look at that as
as like that's humor is not really going to mix.
When I talk about humor the book and and and
(24:30):
using comedy in the workplace, it's actually pilling back the
layers of humor. And what I mean by that is,
in order to get to a place of being funny,
think about what needs to happen. Typically, the funniest situations
that I've seen they weren't scripted. They were very spontaneous.
Something happens, somebody makes a remark, and it's just everybody's laughing. Well,
what happened is, first and foremost everybody had to be present.
(24:53):
They couldn't be thinking about tomorrow. They couldn't be thinking
about the past. They couldn't be thinking about the math
equation of where we're going to invest. They had had
to be in the room, present, connecting with other people.
The next thing is they had to be authentic. And
what I mean by that is if something happened, they
weren't going to mask it. They weren't going to say, well,
I don't see anything and I don't acknowledge that something
(25:14):
awkward happens. You know, people a lot of times pretend
it just just never happened. But they call the spade
a spade, And that's being authentic with a situation and
conveying it to others. Now, it may or may not
be funny. People may laugh, they may not laugh. But
those things that are present for humor are the same
things that are present to have an effective outcome in
(25:36):
a meeting. And so what I might suggest is not
to go into a situation thinking I'm going to telegrate
knock knock joke at a board meeting, but to really
be present, um just like on you know, imagine yourself
on a comedy stage. It's like skiing down a really
intense heel. You can't be anywhere else but on that stage,
and you have to be in the room with people.
(25:56):
If somebody falls down, which actually has happened on a
on a stand up cage, somebody fell off the bar stool,
you can't just simply ignore that. You have to respond
to that and calling it what it is. And so
that's where I get the lessons from comedy and applying
them to the business world. It's not to you know,
try to write jokes. It's really to the foundation of
humor that really makes us a powerful business person as
(26:20):
well as a comedian. Can anybody learn to be funny? Yes.
When I started getting in a comedy, I used to
look at, you know, the great some of the you mentioned.
I used to look at, you know, Jerry Seinfeld or
or Robin Williams is one of my favorite favorites, or
or Sam Knison. But then I used to, you know,
try to be like them. And if I was like them,
(26:41):
that I was funny. But the funny was only a moment,
just a glimpse. It was like, hey, I would tell
a joke that sort of emulated Robert Williams, like he's
crazy guy, you know, and then all of a sudden
it was a mask and I had to take it
off and then be myself, and people will be like,
wait a minute, You're really not that guy, kind of
like you mentioned in your radio personality. So I think
what is people's a lot of what was my expectation?
(27:03):
I think what a lot of people's expectations. I need
to be funny like Robin Williams, or I need to
be funny like Jarry Seinfeld. But I don't think that
that's what I don't think is uh is worth trying
to attain or possible in a lot of cases. What
I do think is that you can be funny to yourself,
(27:23):
for yourself, for what you have inside of you. My
humor if you were to compare that to Robin Williams,
is completely different or Jerry Seinfeld. I'm a goofball when
I'm up on stage and i'm you know, I tell
stories about my kids and the things that they do
and the and the crazy things we do as a family.
In a lot of cases, that's something not something for example,
that Sam Kinison would I mean, that's completely different. So
(27:44):
I wouldn't be meeting that Sam kineson mark. But for
me and what I think is funny yes, and I
think other people find it funny too, But I think
first and foremost finding that funny mark within yourself and
what what is funny to you? And for that, yes, absolutely,
I think everybody can be be come funny and just
articulating what your point of view is and why you
(28:04):
think is funny is a gift that I think we
all have. For the person listening today, perhaps stand up
is not their thing, but everybody has their thing that
is going to allow them to express themselves freely. For you,
it's been comedy. Where would your life be today in
(28:25):
nine years later had you not given yourself permission to
pursue this passion. Wow, great question, Dan um, Well, I
certainly wouldn't be on this podcast. Let's take that firs
start and and what a tragedy for you. You know,
I'm not sure that I would have had the same
just being real about I'm not sure that I would
(28:45):
have been able to keep my family. I truly believe that.
I mean, you can only live with somebody for so
long that is living on side of themselves, that is
not being present, that is holding onto a lot of anger,
that that's just not you know. I mean, if I
were my wife. If I would be like, what are
you still doing here with me? This is you know,
you gotta move on, This is gotta I gotta find
(29:06):
joy in your life. I don't think I would have
had the courage to start my own consulting company. Um.
I don't think I would have had the courage to
just have some of the authentic relationships that I have.
I don't think I would have felt joy and fulfillment.
I mean the way that I do. I would have
been in a lot large part living in fear and
however way to articulate that, But that's I think. I
(29:29):
think that's would have been the case. Beautiful and I
admired the vulnerability of that. One last question. If if
you got to get up on stage, you had one
final time in front of a microphone, and it was
the last message that you could leave for the world
up on stage, what is it that you want people
to know? Well, I would leave this quote that I've heard.
(29:51):
I think it applies here. I think it's be yourself
because everybody else has taken that is the magic of life.
That is why we're here, is to experience. Everybody has
the unique experience, and everybody has a gift to share
with the world. It's uh playing below that. It doesn't
serve you, it doesn't serve anybody. It's something that if
(30:13):
you tap into, there's magic. When you think about depriving
other people of your gift, people said, come on, really,
I've got a gift that I'm I'm depriving the world.
That doesn't make you know, I mean, I'm not. I'm
just me, you know. But think about every single song
you've heard, everything or you love, every movie, you love,
every sitcom, you love, every anything, any building that you love,
(30:34):
any anything that's been manifested in this world that you
love that brings you joy. And if that, if that
thing hadn't been created, it would have deprived you have joy.
That song that you wake up to on Monday morning,
that that movie line that you quote with friends, that
that bring you both joy, if that wouldn't have been created,
you wouldn't have experienced the joy. And so just like that,
(30:57):
if those people wouldn't have gotten into touch with their
mad with themselves, they would have deprived other people. Likewise,
if if you don't get in touch with your magic,
if you you're in yourself, you're depriving other people of joy,
be yourself. So find that magic, find what's inside of
you and share it with the world. It's the greatest
gift that you can give. I love that. It's a
(31:18):
beautiful message. And I think sometimes we put a lot
of pressure on ourselves that you know, where the feelings
of self doubt or self or lack of worthiness come in,
where people are like, oh my god, who am I
to change the world? Like nobody says you have to.
But there's something within you that could make a difference
in your community. There's something within you that if you expressed,
(31:39):
it's going to change your kids lives or set them
up for success when they're adults. It could be the
change you make on one person that you have that
you happen to come across and you say something that
changes the trajectory of their life. But it doesn't really
matter the number of people to some degree, because that's
just more of like a vanity thing. It's just about
(32:01):
showing up in service at the end of the day.
And everybody has a unique way that they're that they're
able to do that, and you are certainly an example
of it. Chris really appreciate the time today. The book
is Comediology being more effective and fulfilled in business with comedy.
People can find that on Amazon and where can they
find you online if they want to find some more
(32:23):
of your more of your material thanks to Yeah, the
book is on Amazon. It's also on audible read by
yours truly if you can stand my voice for that long,
and they can find me at comediology dot com. Perfect.
Thank you so much for the time, Chris. This was awesome.
Damn thank you. It's been a pleasure. I love the
vulnerability that he brought to the table in that interview,
(32:45):
and it's one of the biggest things that I hear
and see from new clients is this belief that God,
if I make more time for myself, if I find
my thing, if I reinvent my career, I'm going to
hurt the people around me. And it's actually just the opposite.
You being stuck, you being stressed, you being overwhelmed, is
(33:06):
really taking a toll on your family and your friendships,
even if you can't see it yet. So I love
Chris sharing that anecdote about his effort point and really
love the analogy about those principles of comedy, just being
present in the room, being able to speak about what's true.
I think corporate America has lost sight of that so much.
(33:27):
There's so many people who are going into work every
day feeling like they have to waive the company flag
and pretend like things are great or just go along
with the flow, even when that might not be the case.
So the more we can bring our presence in honesty
into work and to all of our relationships, the more
it's going to benefit everybody. If you love the interview
screenshot the podcast uploaded to Instagram, you can tag me
(33:50):
at c sc Dan Mason. And if you are overworked, overwhelmed,
and just generally over your soul sucking job, but you
have been so full becussed on your career that you
don't even remember what your thing is. If you feel
disconnected from yourself, that is the best time to find
a coach. It's one of the things my clients love
(34:10):
most about the coaching process. A lot of times they
think they're coming to me to find their next career
best move, and what they do in the process is
they really reconnect to who they are and not just
the person that they've been conditioned to be in the world.
I have some v I P coaching spots open for October.
It would be my deepest privilege to serve you. You
(34:32):
can get info there and fill out an application at
Creative soul Coaching dot net. Thank you so much for
spending this time with me this week. Don't forget it
is time to turn down the volume on your negativity
and turn up the volume on your purpose so you
can live life amplified. I'll talk to you next week.
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