Audition to be a Zombie

Brandon wants to be a zombie at a haunted house, so Danielle calls and puts him through quite the audition.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Don't answer the phone, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone tapping.
What's all about Danielle? All right, so Connor is phone
tapping his friend Brandon. Brandon has wanted to work at
this wanted house for years as a zombie. But you
have to audition to be in the house because it's that,
it's this, this is a really cool house. So I
call and I make him audition. Really God, all right,

(00:24):
let's listen. Good morning, hey Brandon, It's Lisa from Molly. Oh.
I'm in a meeting, right, there's me one minute to
step out. Okay, all right, Let'm geting donut. Are you
in a bathroom? All right? So here's the deal. When
you came the other night, we loved you. You have
the look that we want for this. Oh yeah, so

(00:46):
I just I needed to feel that you are zombie material.
So I need you to give me your best grandpa zombie. Yeah. Yeah,
well that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Okay, how about
now the guy comes to the door. You open the
door and it's a zombie pizza guy. What does the

(01:08):
zombie pizza guy sound like? Here's your pipe, it's got
food and brain that no that sounds more like a pirate.
You don't want a pirate zombie. Don't know bobies sound alike.
Oh my gosh, no, you need to take zombie one
oh one. Zombies have different sounds depending on what happened
to them before they passed, Just like like that type

(01:32):
of thing, right, all right to think him good? What happened?
Someone just entered the office, that's all. I just want
them for good. So people hear you making these sounds
if they come in the office, don't hear me. But
all right, so we can continue. Yeah, okay, okay. This

(01:54):
is the type of one to ask where if someone
gets scared, we allow them to like take it out
on the zombie. Are you cool with that? So I
might get like hit, Well, we don't let them hit
above the face because we don't want to mess up
the makeup that we spend hours doing. But like you know,
chest and arms and so do you want a jockstrap?

(02:14):
Do I own a jock strap? Yeah? Probably from high
school because if if somebody kicks you when you scare them,
you want to make sure that the stuff is protected
they kick me, That's what I'm saying. This makes us
better than the other haunted houses where it's you know,
it's a different feel in the haunted house. Okay, I guess.
So there's different packages. So are you saying, are you

(02:35):
okay with that? Is it possible to work in that
particular package? No? Yeah, Unfortunately, you have to do everything's right.
And it's not that they're hitting your brand and they're
hitting zombie branded, but they're hitting the actual brand and
underneath all of the zombie branded. What would two zombies

(02:55):
having sex sound like? Go, that's pretty good. That's a
good one. All right, Well, okay, what would a zombie
sitting on the toilets sound like? Oh? That's good. Way
one more time? You're good? Is that? Connor? Yeah, Connor,

(03:24):
you want to tell them what's going on? Betty. I'm
on the phone too, man, you can phone tap. Oh
your this isn't an audition. Daniel over Elvis Durant in
the Morning Show, and we're just phone tapping you. I'm
gonna kill you. The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone
tab was pre recorded with permission granted by all participates.

(03:46):
The Elvis Doran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in
the Morning Show