March 14, 2019 • 47 mins
Garrett , Greg T and our friend Wes sit down and get you all caught up in the week! From stories about FL to The College Admission Scandal!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Audio audio Audio one two three audio. That's me all right,
welcome to the Audio Laboratory. My name is Garrett, that
guy back over there and Great Tea as you know him,
and we got a stuff. We got a special guest,
as we call a new lab partner sitting down with
us this week. We got our friend West, who works
in the building, who is actually a fan, has been
(00:27):
listening and we appreciate it. West, thanks for coming by.
And he's wearing all the proper stuff. He's got his
lab coat on, and he's got his goggles on, and
he's the rubber gloves, and he's got his headphone is
most important, so so West. As you know, this is
pretty much like a weekend review. But audio wise, we
got a ton of stories that we talk about chiming
whenever you want. You got nothing to say, you don't
have to say anything. But too many stories, I might add,
(00:50):
go back to sleep. Too many stories. You see Great
Tea's forehead. Yeah, that's because I was taking a nap.
He was taking a nap at his desk. I've been
ready to go now for about a half hour. Head
on the desk. That's what it was. Look how dirty
that microphone is. I have told him to please fix
that microphone. He will not fix the microphone. Well, he
(01:10):
can't do that exactly. I told him, get somebody in
here that can. No, we have to take that in.
There's like a little scrubbing machine. He's you know, he
knows how to do it. You know, he knows the protocol.
But yet we uh we we we don't abide by it.
So let's start with this. Uh you guys fans of
the game shows on TV. I am not really a
(01:30):
big fan of game shows, are you some of them?
Like I'm talking Will of Fortune, Jeopardy No, price is right,
definitely not Jeopardy. Will of Fortune. Maybe Will of Fortune
is the closest thing I think all three of us
can agree on that we could probably compete on at
least anything else. So there was a there was one
of those epic fails on Will of Fortune the other night.
A woman wanted to solve the puzzle and there was
(01:51):
only two letters missing. Okay, so kind of picture this.
The category was fun and games, and the board read
doing headstands and hand stands. Only two letters missing. Okay,
only two letters missing the H and she had a
little bit of a trouble time trying to guess that. Pat,
I'm ready to saw then do it. Doing headstands and
(02:18):
doing headstands. You got this, come on? Doing headstands and bandstands?
Right stands? Awkward? Was American bandstandum stands? You guys ever
shop at CVS? Of course we do, West Go. I
(02:38):
do not know? Never not your pharmacy, pharmacy of choice Target, Target?
What about Walgreen? What about when you need a prescription film?
I never need them? So where do you go? So
you're saying you never had a prescription? I back in
the day, I used to. You know, my mother used
to get me these you know, antibiotics and stuff, but
never had to use them. So you don't go to
(03:00):
the doctors? Really, So what if what if you're sick?
What if something's wrong with you? It's usually just a cold?
What about something else? As you get older, you never
know if something else is wrong? Then don't go to
the doctor. About that? For sound, Well, if you call CVS,
you know you're very familiar with this music. Thank you
for calling CBS. So this has been the on hold
(03:24):
music at CVS for eighteen years. Eighteen years of people
doctor's offices calling and what do they do Normally when
you call, you don't get you don't get the pharmacist
right away, you get put on hold and you listen
to this. It's been driving people nuts. Are they changing it?
They said, they're finally changing it. A psychiatrist in Massachusetts
wrote a letter last year about how much he hated
Apparently doctor's offices have to hear it a lot when
(03:48):
they call to fill your prescriptions, obviously, so it started
the debate. CVS finally said, you know what, you're right,
we're gonna change it. We just got to figure out
what we want to do, all right. What they figure out,
they said, either classic rock, yeah, or show tunes show tunes. No.
Who else calls CBS besides customers, customers? Customers actually call CBS.
(04:09):
You want to ask if they're still open? Do you
want to ask them? Do you have this before West?
I would never have to call. I would never think
about having to call. CBS's kind of annoying. This music.
Thank you're just visiting plans alright. So CVS is eventually
changing something that they've been using for eighteen years because
(04:30):
the customers finally said, my problem is it's the is
the receipts at CVS. What of our suggestions? What do
we have? Well, I don't have suggestions because they still
are thinking of what suggestions to go with. They give
a suggestion, let's give them something. Well, let's hear it.
We'll find something in the system. Call it up from
classic rock. How about let's see classic rock? Um, no
(04:53):
more ms A nice guy? No more, Mr nice guy.
That's not good for hold music? What do you what
you got? Don't stop it, don't stop believing. Maybe I
like that. Don't stop believing. Don't stop believing. I don't know, man,
all right, then find something? Come on, arrow Smith, looks
like a lady. You're very good at finding something like
(05:13):
it looks like a lady. When I say jump, you
say how high? I don't know. I can't find something right? Um?
All right? So uh you know what song? I do
like that song? And the sailors say, Brandy, you're a
fine girl. Fer right, what a good wife you would be?
And you really should have stopped after the garage band.
(05:36):
Did you hear about the woman in Arizona that decided
to jump over the barrier and tried to take a
selfie with a jaguar? I did hear about that, and
that is ridiculous. So she tried to take a selfie.
Jaguar wasn't in the selfie mode, and I decided to
try to claw at this woman. So this was from
on the scene and we hear from a rep from
(05:57):
the zoo in Arizona. My mom runs up and takes
her water bottle and she shoves it through the cage
near where the jaguar is, and the jaguar goes to
let go of the girl. So I grabbed the girl
by her torso and I pulled her back. People need
(06:18):
to understand that these barriers are here. They need to
respect them, and when something like this happens, it's a
reminder to everyone that these are wild animals and safety
needs to be their number one concern. They're there to
look at, not to play games. Let's just see the
jaguar frisbee. It's like go fetch hypothetical question, not saying
that you should. If there was an animal that you
(06:39):
felt that you could hop the barrier and take a
selfie with, like an elephant, you would take it. See
elephant would just crush you. Yeah, right, it's why you
don't want to do that. Yes, but if you could,
if I could, if I could hop a barrier and go,
but obviously there's a barrier for a reason. But if
I could um a kangaroo? Kangaroo? Oh, speaking of speaking
(06:59):
of kangaroos, you here out the kangaroo that might that
beat up a paraglider. Really yeah, So a paraglider in Australia, Australia,
and you're supposed to say, O, no, you like this?
You go, I say, and you go, oh you ready?
(07:20):
We go? All right, so let's go to Australia. This
is a paraglider landed from a jump in Australia recently
and aminally got attacked by a kangaroo. So imagine for
you you hate being thrown out of an airplane as
it is, but so imagine landing, being so thankful you landed,
and then you get beat up by a kangaroo. It's
a bad movie. What's up? Skip got away? Yeah? Kangaroos?
(07:50):
Could you imagine that? That is so crazy? I didn't
see the story or here the story is it did
the kangaroo attack him when he was as soon as
he landed, already on the floor, but it was attacking
him probably while it was mid air like some type
of pterodactyl dinosaur sorts West. What kind of sound did
you bring us today in the laboratory. I didn't bring anything.
(08:11):
How about this? Don't you think that a guest from
now on, Garrett, if you have a guest, he didn't,
the guest should bring a sound clip of something. Let's
let's go to Uh. This is what West brought in.
He did bring something. Sid Look that he's taking you
out of a hole. See that. John Hamm actually went
into the play by play booth for the l A.
Kings game the other day, and he actually sounds like
an actual sports uh reporter, really cast or whatever broadcaster.
(08:35):
All right, lengeing think for me to get out of
the guns. But I do love it. I love skating.
I love this play right now, and I love that goal.
How about it? Fourth line contributing so hard? God, he's
a spark plug. That's not bad. Do you think you
(08:57):
could ever get in a booth and call a game?
I don't think I could. I could not do it. No.
I like to just watch it. I can't call me.
You don't have to baseball alright, so get calls. Call
call of play here comes, the pitch starts the pitch.
I don't know what you picture, looks down, he gets
the signs from the catcher. He doesn't like it. He
shakes them off. He's like, here's the one. He's locked
(09:19):
in and the pitch boom is a home run, home run? Yeah, no,
change the channel there it goes all right. So we
know we know Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson are an
item and a couple, I guess you could say. And
the meme has gone around of them sitting at the
Ranger game making out and everybody started jumping on the
(09:41):
fact that Pete Davidson is at least twenty years younger
than Kate Beck and Sale. So Pete Davidson took two
weekend up date to clear up the air about if
those who are curious about the age difference between I
do have to say, I think that you know, older women,
they know what they want. They don't mess around women.
Older women are like, it's just let's let's not go
(10:01):
to the hockey game. Just come on over, let's do
it and call it a day. That's what they want,
That's what the old room want. So the age you
are right now would make it around somewhere someone in
their sixties. That is not true. I'm you know, dude,
don't make fun. Don't make me come over there and
bash your head in, all right, old cogn hold on.
So this is Pete davids In talking about the age
difference between him and Kate Beckinsale and those who have
(10:24):
a problem with it. Is there anything else you want
to talk about? Um? Say anything else going on? I
don't think so, like a new girlfriend of situation at all?
Pet oh, yeah, there's a problem. I love working with
audio and then when you click on something else, let's
play that one more time. So a little hiccup in here.
(10:44):
I blame Gregg t. He's not here to defend himself,
so he can get away with it. Is there anything
else you want to talk about? Um? Say anything else
going on? I don't think so, like a new girlfriend
of situation at all? Pet oh? Yeah? Oh yeah. Apparently
apparently people have a crazy fashion with our age difference,
but it doesn't really bother us. But then again, I'm
new to this. So if you have questions about a
(11:05):
relationship with a big age difference, just asked Leonard DiCaprio.
Jason Staden Michael Douglas, Richard Gere, Jeff goldhom Scott, Desick,
Dan Cook, Derek Teater, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee,
Alec Baldwin, Shawn Penn, and whoever the president of Francis
mel Ginson, Billie Joeld, Mick Jagger's, the Besta Sloane, Eddie Murphy,
Kelsey Grammar, Larry King, Larry King, Larry King, Rod Stewart,
(11:27):
and Donald Trump, David's and everyone pretty much every person
he just named is an older guy dating a younger
woman and no one gives them crap. Now, now what
you're in a relationship or older younger she is a
few years older than me. Okay, but like do you see,
like do you think it would is reverse? People would
(11:48):
give you more crap like that, Why are you dating
someone so younger than you know? Because I think I
usually with guys like guys love it when the girls
much younger, or everyone looks at it like, oh my god.
Hence all those names that that Pete Davinson just said.
But since since Pete davidsonsons on the younger side of
this relationship, everyone's giving Kate Beckinsale crap that she's dating
(12:11):
a younger guy and not and not the high fives
that normal people would give the guys for dating younger.
It's just one of those hypocritical like the twenty years.
It is a lot, it is. It's hard to get past.
Well it is, but I think you find common ground
obviously in in the relationship somehow outside of just doing it.
And uh, it's just weird. I find it weird that
(12:36):
if this was a reverse people would be like, oh,
but since it's not, everybody's like whatever. Uh did you
hear about the plane west from Saudi Arabia to Malaysia?
They had to return Do you know why they returned
to the gate? If you were to guess why the
plane had to return to the gate, you've been on
planes before, right, someone dropped the deuce in the bathroom. Okay,
(12:59):
we'll going with deuce in the athroom. Know how about
woman forgetting her baby at the terminal? So a woman
walks on the plane, sits down, puts her you know,
bag in the overhead compartment, and maybe gets herself settled,
breaks out her iPad. Maybe we're about to watch a movie,
and goes, oh, crap, I forgot my baby. So this
is this is what the pilot was calling into you
(13:21):
air traffic control. Air traffic control had no idea what
was going on. Grace. We're talking about the woman. The
woman who left the baby at the airport terminal right
before the plane took off, and she tried to get
the plane to stop. Totally ridiculous. You know, here's the thing.
How do you leave your baby behind? I don't understand that.
I understand's a lot going on. You. You have problems
(13:44):
with flying, You don't like flying that much? No, okay, fine,
I do not like flying, so my mind is a
little off. Okay, so let's just say your mind is
off and maybe not maybe not your kid, but I
could see you forgetting a bag or baby, a child.
You have no excuses for lee being your baby behind.
All right, So let's go to the air traffic control
talking to the pilot. But puts baby in the corner
(14:07):
from smatch uh sending back to the gate. Confirmilism please baby. Okay,
if you were to believe that, if someone were to
(14:27):
tell you that, there was no way you would believe it.
But it actually happened where she left the baby and
she the plane turned around. Maybe you turn off on
the Turnomac to go get the baby. Maybe the baby
didn't want to go on the plane. All right, So
we all know that everybody has their smart services, Sirie, Alexa.
Now there is a new genderless voice called Q, like Alextion, Sirie,
(14:50):
but neither male nor females, launched by a startup company
like Kickstarter. Was created using voices of people who identify
as non non binary, meaning people who don't ident if
I exclusively as male or female. This, this is what
Q sounds like. West, That's what non binary means. West. Hi,
I'm QUE, the world's first genderless voice assistant. Think of
(15:12):
me like Syria or Alexa, but neither male nor female.
I'm created for our future where we are no longer
defined by gender, but rather how we define ourselves. My
voice was recorded by people who neither identify as male
nor female and then altered to sound gender neutral, putting
my voice between a hundred and forty five and a
(15:32):
hundred seventy herds arranged defined by audio researchers. But for
me to become a third option for voice assistance, I
need your help. Share my voice with Apple, Amazon, Google,
and Microsoft, and together we can ensure that technology recognizes
us all. I think genderless voice could work actually as
(15:52):
opposed to having a male or female because that the
I'm tired of sirie. I listen, I get it, I
really do. But I do think that we are just overthinking,
you know, I mean down to now, the computer voice,
I just like, it's a computer, so it really doesn't
need to be a man or a woman. At the
end of the day, it's a computer. Computers are in people.
(16:15):
I wanted to be a man or a woman because
because you have that mentality, open your mind on this one.
I am. I have an open mind. I just think,
you know, why, why why do we We've argue everything
and make it all PC all the way down the
option put but the option they should have just put
it in there. I don't think they need like a
(16:37):
whole Oh we want to push this, let's do this,
let's get this in there. So this company is pretty
much just saying, hey, give us the option. I would
would a male voice or a female voice is offensive?
I mean that's I don't know. But but if you, uh,
but if you identify with being binary, right, why not
have some some voice that represents you? Would voice? Do
(17:00):
you have a necessary right now. This is just again
I I I just think that we have gotten so
PC on things that we now have to even even
debate a computer voice, and that a computer voice needs
to be non gender. All right, it's just so much
just opinion. It's just an opinion. Let's move on, all right.
(17:20):
It doesn't make a break me, just just for the case,
just for the record, it is make or break me
if it is, it is whatever, whatever, and I'm fine
with it. I'm fine. I'm just saying I don't know
why we have to continue to live in this super
duper delicate PC world where everything is just so like vanilla.
All right, let's go to this so it is not
(17:41):
jumping on this topic. Was not jumping because I believe
in the fact of having the option of being there.
They're using the male of the female voice on your
just I haven't changed it the so whatever SERI is
the female voice that came with you? I may I
have the regular voice? Yeah to the male one? Oh
you say, alright, See, I did not change. I was
one with the woman voice. I was. That didn't bother me.
(18:02):
I don't know, but I guess because I've been using
the voice for such a while I just want something different.
That's why, Well, that's why you change, because you use
it for so long. You can only hear series so
many times before you go sorry, see you later. How
are we gonna end up giving West a gift when
he leaves? Why not? Do you have a parting gift?
We should? Right here? How about the second act? Really
engaged on blue ray and DVD? Alright? If they're not
(18:25):
paying for that. Now, if I say I have a
story coming out of Florida, what do you think the
headline would be? A stupid news story about a burglar
that got caught because they left their wallet at the
house that they're burglarized? All right, West, story coming out
of Florida, where the craziest stories do happen. What do
you think the story is about alligator attack or something?
Alligator attack? Very good? Very good. I would normally go
(18:47):
with an animal of sorts, But that is the difference
between alligator and a crocodile. I don't know a hold
on a second SRI about this. I'm not sure. I'm
just thinking about the other day, the difference between a
croc dial and a you're really thinking about this? The
other day, I was thinking about it really was, Oh
it sirie. What is the difference between an alligator and
(19:10):
a crocodile? Okay, alligator and crocodile? Okay, it says. All
she said was that she found an article on it
here it is an alligator is a crocodile? In the
Oh god, somebody's trying to call me now zero three
(19:31):
s six? Would it come on? This is gonna be great.
All right, let's see who this is. Hello. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay, good, alright, alright,
message this is this is why we don't need phones anymore.
So let's go to Florida. Forty seven year old woman
(19:51):
in a trailer park in Florida shot her boyfriend in
the chest with the shotgun last Wednesday by snoring for
snoring too loudly. You know, somebody. He's fine and she
says it was an accident, but was arrested for attempted murder.
And of course they talked to the neighbors. And when
you talk to the neighbors, the neighbors are like they're
the perfect neighbors. Like my question is, how are you
(20:13):
fine if somebody shoots you in the chest with a
shot you miss he misses the things that keep you alive.
I don't know. Let's go to the neighbors. So stupid,
so bizarre that I can't imagine that kind of behavior.
To hear that it was over him snoring is kind
of shocking. It's kind of crazy. That's that's crazy. Um,
(20:33):
I don't care how mad you are, you shouldn't be
grabbing a gun unless year life's threatened. We actually have
audio of her, we have audio of him snoring, and
why she's familiar. I'm just gonna say, Garrick, I do
(21:07):
believe that you are making fun of me by playing
sound of myself snore. You do realize how how annoying
that sounds, right, Yes, I do realize that. But I
also realized that if you push, if you press this
trigger of a shotgun, your shotgun shells that blue that
explode you. You cannot survive being shot in the chest.
You think, do you think they're lying? I don't think
(21:29):
it was a shotgun. Then it had to be a
different kind of a gun, because there's no way a
shotgun shell it expands exactly so you would you would destroy,
you be dead. Well, let's let's come out, because I
think you're a little stressed. Out. So Matthew McConaughey is stressed,
Yes you are. Has has a new gig where he
(21:49):
is reading bedtime stories on a new app called Calm.
I think I think Matthew McConaughey is really cool. By
the way, Well, let's listen, and he's one of my
absolute favorite actors of all time. I'm not even kidding you.
Comp Well, hello there, I'm Matthew McConaughey. Tonight, I'll be
reading a special sleep story called Wonder. Before we begin,
(22:12):
as you settle in under the covers, with your head
easing into the pillow and your body sinking into the mattress,
like you to let your mind drift with me for
just a minute, Let's ask the question, how often do
we ponder the depth lincoln of the present moment, the
one we're in? I mean, how often do we really
(22:34):
feel what's happening within and around us, allowing ourselves to
be moved, to be inspired, whiskey, to be filled with
gratitude for the mystery and the beauty of this universe
and of this life. I would buy anything that Matthew
McConaughey sells. I think I think you wouldn't snore if
(22:54):
you listen to Matthew McConaughey. What other that is not true?
What other actor would you buy a product if they're
pushing because you like him so much? Uh? Come on,
come on, what about you? I would buy a Lincoln
from Matthew McConaughey. I would buy anything that he's selling.
I think the dude is super cool man. That's who
I want to be. I want to be Matthew McConaughey.
(23:15):
All right, this wasn't have a scruffy beard like that
and driver cool because I've tried to grow a beard,
though it doesn't were gonna be like Matthew McConaughey. That's what.
When I come back in a different life, I want
to come back looking like Matthew McConney. But if you
come back like Matthew McConaughey, but you're you know, I
want to be Matthew McConaughey. I like Matthew McConaughey. I
want to look like him. I want to but you
(23:36):
would like him, but you would know that if you
came back as Matthew McConaughey because you're someone else, You're right,
that's a good you know that's listen, that's something. We
really got a dissector in the library. You got the laboratory.
You gotta understand that. That's why I said, if you
were to come back, you wouldn't even know you would
look like Matthew McConaughey, but you would still be you,
because then you would realize how cool that Just if
(23:56):
I look like Matthew McConaughey, I'm found with that too.
And and his brain, Um, I don't think he has
that much of a brain left. Wait, way to offend him, alight.
So this was going viral all week, so alright, alright, alright, alright.
So Chris Evans was was ranking his favorite Frito Lay
(24:17):
chips in order. So I'm gonna give you the chips,
will rank him in order that I will listen to
some audio. So we got Cheetos, Frito's Cool Ranch, Dorito's
Nacho cheese, Doritos lays barbecue and lays original. I what Cheetos,
Frito's Cool Ranch, both cheese. Let's ask our guest West,
how did you rank them? I like Dorito's first Dorito
(24:40):
which one regular? All right? So cheese, yeah, cheese with
cool ranch after that cool Ranch sucks. Hey, cool ranch,
and then after that, I guess would be the Frios No,
I'm sorry, Cheetos and Fritos, and then the plain Lays
and then barbecue last. Yeah, yeah, you last. See I
(25:01):
would do I like Dorrito's, and then I like the Cheetos,
and then I would put the regular potato chips in there,
just kind of breaking up a little bit. Then I
would go with barbecue potato chips, and then I would
go with what's all the Frito's. Yeah, I'm not a
big friedo guy. And then I would go to Ranch
Dorito's dead last, because I cannot stand ranch flavored doritos. Well,
(25:25):
I know, out of this list, I would put Frito's
last because if you have to dip it into a chip,
it's really not a chip. I don't even like the
blue packaging on the ranch Doritos. Well, all right, so
friends started talking about this. So this is a bunch
of guys arguing over this exact same thing. We just did. Dorito's, Doritos, Tritos, barbecue,
(25:46):
Frio's legs. Y'all ain't y'all, ain't ya hood? You thought
right here with Doritos, then you go to Cheeto any
cheese products already in the hood has tossed it all.
Dan Friedo out of respect to your grandma, freed Win
barbecue and cool Ranch was still give me hidden people.
(26:15):
I'm with West. I like cool Ranch. Listen, why don't
you like cool Ranch? Why? I don't like the flavor
of it? I don't like the chalkiness on my fingers,
and I can't stand the blue color dorrito bag. You
don't I don't like it. Um. So we're all grown
adults here. We all pay bills. That's correct. I do.
Do you get electric bills every month? Electric bills? Yes?
(26:37):
I do? Yes? Uh? Did you hear about the guy
from New York, Tommy strab His electric bill came and
it was thirty eight million dollars. What I had assumed
it was a problem. The seventy four dollars had turned
into the pay field into thirty seven million or so.
And I tried to change it, and I you know,
it was highlighting it, trying to vacspace it, refresh the page.
(26:59):
Nothing worked. Tommy didn't panic. He tweeted, Hey, con Edison,
I own a six d square foot apartment and a
story of queens. I do not own the entirety of
Manhattan Island. This is insane. Fix it. Should your first
step have been to contact con directly instead of via tweet?
I think so, but it probably and and my you know,
(27:20):
and people who are my age or seven or so.
I just figured, you know what, I'll send him a
tweet and I'll see if they direct message me in
the morning. It's not fun for me to go through
a Twitter timeline with thousands of tweets or thousands of
responses people telling me that I'm lying. He said, he's
very sorry, you know, kN apologized. They said, you do
not know what's thirty seven billion dollars, and they assured
me that there was no issue. Now, I get he
should have called Conan right away, the the electric company.
(27:43):
But when you call these companies, and I think you
guys can agree on anyone listening, you get the robot,
and the robot takes forever just to get to a
human that's correct. And then once you're put on hold,
you have hold music and you don't want to listen
to that either, right, Therefore you go take a rent
of Twitter. Alright, Alright, so we know we know from
CPR that the song Staying Alive is the perfect song
(28:04):
to go and rhythm with when you're you're doing CPR
on someone that needs it. Yes, did you know have
you ever had to do CPR and a real person? Yes? Really,
a real person was a life. Oh get out of here.
That's a bucket list from my for me? Why would
you want that? Well? Why not? It's not that I
want to Actually, it's on your bucket list. So that's
something you want to do. I would like to, which
(28:26):
means someone is on the border of possibly dying. I
don't want that to happen. But wouldn't you really want
to try CPR and a real person, like be in
a situation where like you're like, oh my god, I
have to try this. No, why I wouldn't wish that
on anyone. So you're not thinking abstractly about this bucklet.
I don't think you are. But you're thinking about a
bucklest like I would look to jump out of an
airplane and you want to give someone, Well, that's something
(28:50):
that you're not ever going to really do all and
there's no guarantee that that person will survive. But it's
just like it's like it's like robbing a bank, you know,
like you're not gonna again another thing. I don't want
to be on your bucket list. Bucket Yes, it is,
it is? Is what did you think I'd be a
cool rush to have to be running in there with
like some guns of blazing and you're like, give me
(29:10):
the money, you know, okay, trying to get away. People
are in there, people are in the bank. I don't
want to shoot anybody. And look how you have stipulations
to this when in the reality it's never gonna happen
like that. It's just the fact of feeling like I
have got a loaded gun and I'm gonna run into
a bank. You know, Like what is that? Like? Do
I get the money? Do not get the money? Am
I gonna get arrest? H Am I gonna get Am
(29:30):
I gonna be my car? Will there be a car chase?
There's all kinds of things. You're like, Wow, this is
a cool bucket list. I mean, not everybody could say
that they had a car chase with police officers. You
want a car chase with a police officer to a
bank yelling give me your money. It's a bucket list
right there. You cannot deny that it's not a bucket list.
What do you mean that's not bucket list. You're never
(29:51):
going to get a chance to do that. That's like
a non bucket list bucket list Listen, there's so many
other things like when do you get caught? Do you
get caught? Yes? Or no? Do I get caught in
my dream? Hopefully no? I get away. I like I
plant the car somewhere and I get out and I hide.
You ever seen some of these these uh these chase,
these police chases, Like they get out and they start running.
Why would you do that? You want to get out.
(30:12):
You were in a marathon, but you want to get
out where like you can hide in like a bush
or something where like they can never find you. That's
what you want to do. You want to like hide
behind like a pillar where they can't see your body
and they're looking around like where do you go? Where
do you go? And then you're hiding, like that's what
you gotta do. So you've walked into a bank before,
just on an average day and and to you know,
do whatever you have to do in the bank, and
you've thought about what if I were to do this
(30:34):
one day? Yeah, what would that be like? So you're
actually in a bank, thinking about robbing a bank, but
I'm not really not You're not actually going to do it.
I get it, not gonna do that. But you've had
the thoughts about robbing a bank while in a bank.
How could you not? You never thought about that. You
never thought about like going to a grocery store and
and like and like stealing. No, what what is with you?
It's a bucket list that you're never gonna do, But
(30:54):
wouldn't you be neat you just try it the non
bucket list bucket list, but you don't hurt anybody, and
nobody gets hurt. You just like kind of do it.
So you rather scare people with your gun as you
go into a bank. I want to on my bucket list.
Would would say, like it would be cool to try it,
but you're never going to get it. You're never gonna
do that because same people are never gonna do that.
So I'm never gonna go do it. But wouldn't it
(31:16):
be cool if you could do it? They just have
like like like the police should have like you have
more if you have more on this non bust. But
what I do think is that the police should run
a program or anybody that wants to try to rob
a bank, can do it on one day and then
at like a certain place, so they're standing by just
when training. Nobody gets hurt and like, all right, had
that feel, had that feeling. You're like, oh man, that
was awesome. I ran in there and they were like
(31:38):
and you're like give me your effort money, man, and
they like they're like jumped and they were screaming and
you're like, oh my god. But then and that's it,
and then you got your car like I'll see you later,
and then you go home like you you just got
that feeling out of your back just wants to rush.
You don't want the consequences, right, I don't want any consequences.
I want nobody getting hurt. I want nobody nothing. I
want everybody to laugh about at the end, it's just
(31:58):
a feeling of like what to be liked actually running
there like a mask and you know, like and you're
like you can't see me, put your heads up and
give me all your body you've really thought about, you
know West you're very quiet or is it more shock? Yeah?
I don't even know what to say. But you never
see you see these movies all the time. It's a
movie yeah, but don't you want to Like I've I've
(32:21):
watched the town. I don't think about robbing Fenway Park.
What did your you ever think about? Like can I
crawl inside my neighbor's house, like in his window and
like break in and like steal a TV? But you
give it back to them later on? But like the
fact that you like, you know, you get in there
and keep apartment. I did hear that? That's fun? That's fun, right?
(32:43):
You know what you could do? Greg, think about that,
here's what you could do, But you don't think about
going and crawling through somebody's window, that your neighbor's house.
Maybe maybe this is a thing stealing jewelry, but you'll
give it back. But you just wanted to see what
that was like. So you know, escape rooms are a thing. No, no, no,
escape rooms. But it's not fun. It's ape room. But
you you tell her to what you're describing right now,
(33:05):
I don't know. It's not fun. Escape rooms aren't fun.
You have to figure out a code. But no, no, no, no,
don't don't think. Don't think of the escape room. Think
of everything you just described. Well, what about what running
on the baseball field during a game and messing up
the whole entire game and maybe sliding into second base.
I think that would be fun. See that's different though,
(33:26):
that's you're not scaring anyone. Yeah you are. You're scaring
the players. You're gonna get arrested. Players don't they don't care.
You ever seen them? They have bats. Listen to me.
There are people that are like, they're much bigger. That's
a crazy person right there. And you're about to get arrested.
You know you're going to jail, and and the police
are gonna thump on you. They're gonna really gonna kill you.
There question, do you do a clothe there naked dude?
Who knows? I guess right now, Right now I can
(33:50):
see ring out there naked. No, but I'm gonna slide
the second So I'm gonna slide with my clothes on.
I'm not slide with my when well, my my jingle
Jangles getting scraped up on the ground. You would make
more of an impression and go viral if you're naked. Now,
I don't think you go viral anymore. Maybe if you're naked,
maybe I just think that that would be cool. Like
what about running on the football field when the play is.
Actually that is the dumbest thing ever. But like so
(34:12):
Eli Manning is dropping back and throw the ball and
you run to where that ball is gonna be and
then you catch it and then you get killed. They
they tackle you on the field. Bucket list right there? Well, yeah,
those guys would actually tackle you and you would be concussed. Amazing.
That would be an amazing bucket list right there. What
about what about stealing a zamboni at a hockey game
and just driving it wildly all on the ice. You
(34:34):
can't car, You're stuck on the ice. Where are you going? Well?
What an amazing bucket list? Like you you steal all right,
so let's play this out. You drive her off. You're
on the samboni. You steal a zamboni. Yeah, and you're
like just driving. I'm like, I'm like a getaway car.
You can get away somewhere. Yeah, but this is one right,
you're just smashing into the boards and all the people
are screaming. So you're smashing into the boards and then
(34:56):
what happens and then the thing like rams into the
board and and it breaks, I don't know, And then
you get off and then you try to run off
the ice like before they can get you. That's a
cool bugle list. What the top speed and those things
are nine point seven miles an hour. Yeah, you're not
going anywhere. Well, but you're not there to try to
get to you while you're on there, and they can
out run you. A human can run faster than nine.
(35:20):
There's so many things that you're never gonna be able
to do ever, but you want a reason for it.
What about like going to a you run into a
mattress store and you just get on a mattress and
you start jumping, and then you go from the next
mattress to the next one, the next one, and then
they're all looking at you like what are you doing?
You're crazy and you're just jumping jumping, jumping, jumping. Then
(35:40):
you jump back onto the floor and you run out
of the store. Bucket list, You got a weird but
you never wanted to go do that? All right, Let's
let's go about running into a food store and taking
a ginormous zucchini and yelling, go go along for a
past and then you throw the zucchini and then you
like just tip over a gigantic table full of like
straw areas and they blast all over the floor and
(36:02):
then you you walk out all right. School. So schools
are now putting staying Alive from the bags on the
back burner when it comes to teaching kids CPR. They
found a new song because uh, if you're using CPR,
it's a hundred to a hundred and twenty beats uh
per per minute where you have to find the song
that you could do it to and to keep tempo
(36:23):
when you are giving someone CPR of it. Uh, they
now found a new song that is a hundred fifteen,
hundred and fifteen beats per minute, and uh it goes
a little something like this. It's not a good song.
Ow listen, it's this is so someone flatlines you give CPR.
(36:48):
Baby shark, Baby shark is a hundred and fifteen beats
per minute. Shar baby shark shocks sharted a baby baby.
I like this, likemmy shot, mommy shot out the shart him.
(37:09):
Mommy sharted shart and mommy shake sharded, shared, shared sharted
shot shot, don't shared shoddy. Everybody sharts. Yes. I started
(37:31):
the only day I had to fart, and I tried
to push it out at a little I was at home.
I was. I was doing work in my office. So
you're at home and you can't go to the bathroom. Yeah,
I just tried to fart in a little duty came
out and it like squirted into my cheese. All right,
so we've heard it. Pull my pants not to go
to the bathroom. I could see it. It was like
like duty. That is disgusting. We've all heard about the
college admission scandal over the last two days, where celebrities
(37:55):
and very wealthy rich people have cheated the system to
get there with the rich their children into schools that
they couldn't get into by themselves. It's interesting though, because
Lori Laughlin, who plays Ambecky on Full House, her daughter
is quote unquote Instagram influencer and uh had this to
say on Instagram prior to being caught for what her
(38:15):
mom did. So I'll be going to college and I'll
still be working on YouTube with work, it's going to
be hard. Like my first week of school. I'm leaving
to go to Fiji for work, and then I'll be
in New York a bunch this year for work and
traveling to a different country because I'm creating something with
this country, and that's for work. So I don't know
how much of school I'm going to attend, but I'm
(38:36):
gonna go in and talk to my deans and everyone
and hope that I can try and balance at all. Um,
but I do want the experience like game days, partying.
Oh my god, I don't want to care about school,
as you guys don't know. So she doesn't care about school,
so she wants to go to the dean and see
how she can work it out because she's gonna go
do something in Fiji for her YouTube page. This is
(38:56):
the problem. Do you think do you think they knew?
These kids knew what their parents were doing? Oh I'm sorry, yeah,
I almost saying I just got a bad text message something.
What do you think these kids knew what their parents
were doing? Um? I do? I think they knew and
they didn't care. That's that's what I think. Definitely, here's
a bucket list. When don't you want to go walk
over to your boss and just go hey, if you
(39:19):
ain't coming in right now, what do you want to
do that? All right, we'll wrap it up as great
Tea finishes doing whatever he's doing. Uh, let's see, what's
what are your thoughts so far? Any comments. I like it. Uh,
all right, Oh you hear about the homeless kids. So
we're talking about college and the scams. This kid from
(39:39):
Jersey City got accepted into seventeen colleges now because his
parents paid, because he was smart enough, and he happens
to be homeless. Uh. He's a member of the Honor Society.
His family moved from Trinidad when he was seven. He
has a twin brother with a serious heart condition. The
kids got a lot of things going on in his life.
(40:00):
Parents didn't cheat the system. He did it all on
his own and now accepted into seventeen colleges. So this
is a Dylan chat chattic. Right, yeah, you see a
ramapo and all right. I have to have a lot
of determination that there's been a lot of people saying
they're not going to achieve this and me getting these acceptions.
That is kind of verifies what I've been saying that
(40:20):
I can do it and I will will do it.
It's been hard financially, Um, we've been homeless. Put it
like that. That basically made me more determined to never
let us get back to in that situation. Again. She's
a great example of doing all that's necessary to help
her children the cause in New Jersey. I haven't heard
(40:43):
that yet, but that's my top score right now. You
got a college was I did a little community college
community I went four years or out of university. I've
got accepted into three schools. I probably applied to about six.
So after this scandal, it makes me think I get
screwed over based on my my poorness, my poor grades,
(41:05):
or the fact that I didn't grease the wheel to
to get in. You got to think that. I mean, Uh,
let's see, do you hear the story about air pods
could give you brain cancer? Uh? No, and I use
them all the time. It will Well, let's go to
the Daily Show just from the other night to see
what they had to say. Two fifty scientists from over
forty countries have signed a petition to warn against radio
(41:27):
wave radiation from wireless technologies. Experts warned the close proximity
of wireless headphones like air pods, especially the fact that
one has to communicate through the other right through your
brain like, could cause some serious health risk. The radiation,
they emit has been linked to cancer. Though in some
cases AirPods might give you brain cancer, still better than
(41:48):
having to untangle wires. I mean, it's true. They've always
said that with cell phones. They said with cell phones.
But the thing, as I've learned with these tests is
they talked to one specific doctor, and then this doctor
might not be the top doctor. He's just a doctor
in the field. So they use it as this is
the official spokesperson for doctors who deal with brain cancer,
(42:11):
and then they run with it, and then they make
a story out of it, and then apple, Well, the
only good thing about this is air pod sales. Uh
could be the price could be lowered, um, and then
I might be able to afford them. Um. Let's see.
That's that's pretty much it. I mean crazy people, people
(42:31):
eating boogers. Uh. More more stuff from the college. Oh,
Jerky Boys. Do you listen to Jerky Boys growing up?
All right? So the Jerky Boys have a new album
of prank calls. This is uh, pretty much where phone
taps got started from. It was it was prior Jerky
Boys pretty much started the whole prank phone call recording
(42:51):
it and making money off of it. Unfortunately, one half
of the Jerky Boys is back, the guy who does
Frank Rizzo and Jack Torres. Uh. You can listen to
the first call. It's called Frank's braces. Well, this is done.
How to down talk clinic? What happened to the duntal
clinic dentist inquiry? Yeah? How many I have to? Yeah,
(43:13):
I gotta have my my teeth straightened out? Okay, Yeah,
they're all crooking, you know what I'm saying. Of course,
if some tis cook at the usually recommended braces, well,
you know, I tried once. I made my own braces.
That is some little pieces of wooden, some metal, and uh,
they tore up the side of my face. So maybe
(43:34):
there's another way you can use this polymer or rubber
if you bounce around and you're closing your jaw that
I don't think it's an option in a clinic. Well,
of course it's an option. I made it myself. You
can buy it down at the local hardware store. Yeah. Perfect,
I'll see I'll see you then and we'll get those
braces in my mouth and on my legs. All right,
sounds good? Alright, brother By, I missed the Jerky Boys.
(43:58):
I mean that was I remember being like fourth fifth
grade and kind of sneaking because it was one of
those things where you weren't supposed to listen to it
because it was naughty. You could buy it on tape
or whatever. Yeah, exactly bought on tape and and eventually
CDs and then they went away, and uh, I guess,
just like everything else in entertainment, it says, hey, we
stopped making money. Time to make some more money. Let's go.
(44:19):
Uh and then that but that wasn't as funny. It
wasn't that good. I will but they're back. Maybe that's
just a tease of of stuff. Why I put out
your best effort. I don't know. I'm making excuses for
no reason. Uh. And we'll end on this. So you
watch The First Prince growing Up? Yes, plus me too
loved it. Uh. Now this is kind of interesting. So
this isn't actually a show just yet. The Fresh Prince
(44:41):
is a show, but someone put this out on YouTube.
It's a trailer they put together by themselves with a
bunch of friends showing what if the Fresh Prince of
bel Air would be a drama? So Fresh Prince of
bel Air with Will Smith comedy what if it was
a drama? It actually this trailer. If you get to
see it, go watch it. Yeah, you can look for
it on YouTube called I believe bell Air, but this
(45:05):
is the audio from the trailer, and I'm into this show.
Look at you. The only reason why you're not in
jealous because Uncle Phil called in a favor you through this.
They're stupid. You are carrying a gun on the streets
(45:26):
to protect yourself. I've done my best. Will It's time
for a change. You're going to bell Air to live
with your uncle, and you will. I will not build
you out again in this house. I'm not Uncle Phil.
(45:47):
I'm the law. Have I made myself absolutely clear? Yeah? Yeah,
so will? What brings you to bell Air? I caught
with a gun? How related? Again? Called he's from the
streets of Philadelphia. We'll need to disap just a little time,
(46:08):
just a little time and a little love. We are
what he needs. Why don't you go back to Philly?
Born and raised? Right? I think I would ever want
to be in this life? Not welcome? When is this fake?
Wherever you're first? Sat anything, earnest nothing? My life and sitcom?
I give feel like I belong you. Just give it
some time. Everything happens for a reason. I'm in. It
(46:30):
sounds like a t NT drama. It sounds like it
sounds like the show that's going to replace Empire once
it gets canceled due to all the craziness that's going
on in that show. But uh, there's a change dot
org position going around for Netflix to at least consider
even looking at it, so be on the lookout. We
probably heard of it before it even becomes anything. So
uh that is that. West. I appreciate you stopping by
(46:51):
being being a part of it. Use this to uh
further your podcast career because people people listen and thank
you for listening. Great T stepped out of the room.
But you know we're closing it out because if we
wait from him, we'll be here all day. So uh,
all right, we'll end with that. All right, thank you
for listening on I Heart Radio. This is the Audio Laboratory.
(47:12):
My name is Garrett. That's West Gregg, T says by,
but he's nowhere to be seen. We'll talk to you
very very soon, hopefully next week.
Audio audio Audio one two three audio. That's me all right,
welcome to the Audio Laboratory. My name is Garrett, that
guy back over there and Great Tea as you know him,
and we got a stuff. We got a special guest,
as we call a new lab partner sitting down with
us this week. We got our friend West, who works
in the building, who is actually a fan, has been
(00:27):
listening and we appreciate it. West, thanks for coming by.
And he's wearing all the proper stuff. He's got his
lab coat on, and he's got his goggles on, and
he's the rubber gloves, and he's got his headphone is
most important, so so West. As you know, this is
pretty much like a weekend review. But audio wise, we
got a ton of stories that we talk about chiming
whenever you want. You got nothing to say, you don't
have to say anything. But too many stories, I might add,
(00:50):
go back to sleep. Too many stories. You see Great
Tea's forehead. Yeah, that's because I was taking a nap.
He was taking a nap at his desk. I've been
ready to go now for about a half hour. Head
on the desk. That's what it was. Look how dirty
that microphone is. I have told him to please fix
that microphone. He will not fix the microphone. Well, he
(01:10):
can't do that exactly. I told him, get somebody in
here that can. No, we have to take that in.
There's like a little scrubbing machine. He's you know, he
knows how to do it. You know, he knows the protocol.
But yet we uh we we we don't abide by it.
So let's start with this. Uh you guys fans of
the game shows on TV. I am not really a
(01:30):
big fan of game shows, are you some of them?
Like I'm talking Will of Fortune, Jeopardy No, price is right,
definitely not Jeopardy. Will of Fortune. Maybe Will of Fortune
is the closest thing I think all three of us
can agree on that we could probably compete on at
least anything else. So there was a there was one
of those epic fails on Will of Fortune the other night.
A woman wanted to solve the puzzle and there was
(01:51):
only two letters missing. Okay, so kind of picture this.
The category was fun and games, and the board read
doing headstands and hand stands. Only two letters missing. Okay,
only two letters missing the H and she had a
little bit of a trouble time trying to guess that. Pat,
I'm ready to saw then do it. Doing headstands and
(02:18):
doing headstands. You got this, come on? Doing headstands and bandstands?
Right stands? Awkward? Was American bandstandum stands? You guys ever
shop at CVS? Of course we do, West Go. I
(02:38):
do not know? Never not your pharmacy, pharmacy of choice Target, Target?
What about Walgreen? What about when you need a prescription film?
I never need them? So where do you go? So
you're saying you never had a prescription? I back in
the day, I used to. You know, my mother used
to get me these you know, antibiotics and stuff, but
never had to use them. So you don't go to
(03:00):
the doctors? Really, So what if what if you're sick?
What if something's wrong with you? It's usually just a cold?
What about something else? As you get older, you never
know if something else is wrong? Then don't go to
the doctor. About that? For sound, Well, if you call CVS,
you know you're very familiar with this music. Thank you
for calling CBS. So this has been the on hold
(03:24):
music at CVS for eighteen years. Eighteen years of people
doctor's offices calling and what do they do Normally when
you call, you don't get you don't get the pharmacist
right away, you get put on hold and you listen
to this. It's been driving people nuts. Are they changing it?
They said, they're finally changing it. A psychiatrist in Massachusetts
wrote a letter last year about how much he hated
Apparently doctor's offices have to hear it a lot when
(03:48):
they call to fill your prescriptions, obviously, so it started
the debate. CVS finally said, you know what, you're right,
we're gonna change it. We just got to figure out
what we want to do, all right. What they figure out,
they said, either classic rock, yeah, or show tunes show tunes. No.
Who else calls CBS besides customers, customers? Customers actually call CBS.
(04:09):
You want to ask if they're still open? Do you
want to ask them? Do you have this before West?
I would never have to call. I would never think
about having to call. CBS's kind of annoying. This music.
Thank you're just visiting plans alright. So CVS is eventually
changing something that they've been using for eighteen years because
(04:30):
the customers finally said, my problem is it's the is
the receipts at CVS. What of our suggestions? What do
we have? Well, I don't have suggestions because they still
are thinking of what suggestions to go with. They give
a suggestion, let's give them something. Well, let's hear it.
We'll find something in the system. Call it up from
classic rock. How about let's see classic rock? Um, no
(04:53):
more ms A nice guy? No more, Mr nice guy.
That's not good for hold music? What do you what
you got? Don't stop it, don't stop believing. Maybe I
like that. Don't stop believing. Don't stop believing. I don't know, man,
all right, then find something? Come on, arrow Smith, looks
like a lady. You're very good at finding something like
(05:13):
it looks like a lady. When I say jump, you
say how high? I don't know. I can't find something right? Um?
All right? So uh you know what song? I do
like that song? And the sailors say, Brandy, you're a
fine girl. Fer right, what a good wife you would be?
And you really should have stopped after the garage band.
(05:36):
Did you hear about the woman in Arizona that decided
to jump over the barrier and tried to take a
selfie with a jaguar? I did hear about that, and
that is ridiculous. So she tried to take a selfie.
Jaguar wasn't in the selfie mode, and I decided to
try to claw at this woman. So this was from
on the scene and we hear from a rep from
(05:57):
the zoo in Arizona. My mom runs up and takes
her water bottle and she shoves it through the cage
near where the jaguar is, and the jaguar goes to
let go of the girl. So I grabbed the girl
by her torso and I pulled her back. People need
(06:18):
to understand that these barriers are here. They need to
respect them, and when something like this happens, it's a
reminder to everyone that these are wild animals and safety
needs to be their number one concern. They're there to
look at, not to play games. Let's just see the
jaguar frisbee. It's like go fetch hypothetical question, not saying
that you should. If there was an animal that you
(06:39):
felt that you could hop the barrier and take a
selfie with, like an elephant, you would take it. See
elephant would just crush you. Yeah, right, it's why you
don't want to do that. Yes, but if you could,
if I could, if I could hop a barrier and go,
but obviously there's a barrier for a reason. But if
I could um a kangaroo? Kangaroo? Oh, speaking of speaking
(06:59):
of kangaroos, you here out the kangaroo that might that
beat up a paraglider. Really yeah, So a paraglider in Australia, Australia,
and you're supposed to say, O, no, you like this?
You go, I say, and you go, oh you ready?
(07:20):
We go? All right, so let's go to Australia. This
is a paraglider landed from a jump in Australia recently
and aminally got attacked by a kangaroo. So imagine for
you you hate being thrown out of an airplane as
it is, but so imagine landing, being so thankful you landed,
and then you get beat up by a kangaroo. It's
a bad movie. What's up? Skip got away? Yeah? Kangaroos?
(07:50):
Could you imagine that? That is so crazy? I didn't
see the story or here the story is it did
the kangaroo attack him when he was as soon as
he landed, already on the floor, but it was attacking
him probably while it was mid air like some type
of pterodactyl dinosaur sorts West. What kind of sound did
you bring us today in the laboratory. I didn't bring anything.
(08:11):
How about this? Don't you think that a guest from
now on, Garrett, if you have a guest, he didn't,
the guest should bring a sound clip of something. Let's
let's go to Uh. This is what West brought in.
He did bring something. Sid Look that he's taking you
out of a hole. See that. John Hamm actually went
into the play by play booth for the l A.
Kings game the other day, and he actually sounds like
an actual sports uh reporter, really cast or whatever broadcaster.
(08:35):
All right, lengeing think for me to get out of
the guns. But I do love it. I love skating.
I love this play right now, and I love that goal.
How about it? Fourth line contributing so hard? God, he's
a spark plug. That's not bad. Do you think you
(08:57):
could ever get in a booth and call a game?
I don't think I could. I could not do it. No.
I like to just watch it. I can't call me.
You don't have to baseball alright, so get calls. Call
call of play here comes, the pitch starts the pitch.
I don't know what you picture, looks down, he gets
the signs from the catcher. He doesn't like it. He
shakes them off. He's like, here's the one. He's locked
(09:19):
in and the pitch boom is a home run, home run? Yeah, no,
change the channel there it goes all right. So we
know we know Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson are an
item and a couple, I guess you could say. And
the meme has gone around of them sitting at the
Ranger game making out and everybody started jumping on the
(09:41):
fact that Pete Davidson is at least twenty years younger
than Kate Beck and Sale. So Pete Davidson took two
weekend up date to clear up the air about if
those who are curious about the age difference between I
do have to say, I think that you know, older women,
they know what they want. They don't mess around women.
Older women are like, it's just let's let's not go
(10:01):
to the hockey game. Just come on over, let's do
it and call it a day. That's what they want,
That's what the old room want. So the age you
are right now would make it around somewhere someone in
their sixties. That is not true. I'm you know, dude,
don't make fun. Don't make me come over there and
bash your head in, all right, old cogn hold on.
So this is Pete davids In talking about the age
difference between him and Kate Beckinsale and those who have
(10:24):
a problem with it. Is there anything else you want
to talk about? Um? Say anything else going on? I
don't think so, like a new girlfriend of situation at all?
Pet oh, yeah, there's a problem. I love working with
audio and then when you click on something else, let's
play that one more time. So a little hiccup in here.
(10:44):
I blame Gregg t. He's not here to defend himself,
so he can get away with it. Is there anything
else you want to talk about? Um? Say anything else
going on? I don't think so, like a new girlfriend
of situation at all? Pet oh? Yeah? Oh yeah. Apparently
apparently people have a crazy fashion with our age difference,
but it doesn't really bother us. But then again, I'm
new to this. So if you have questions about a
(11:05):
relationship with a big age difference, just asked Leonard DiCaprio.
Jason Staden Michael Douglas, Richard Gere, Jeff goldhom Scott, Desick,
Dan Cook, Derek Teater, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee,
Alec Baldwin, Shawn Penn, and whoever the president of Francis
mel Ginson, Billie Joeld, Mick Jagger's, the Besta Sloane, Eddie Murphy,
Kelsey Grammar, Larry King, Larry King, Larry King, Rod Stewart,
(11:27):
and Donald Trump, David's and everyone pretty much every person
he just named is an older guy dating a younger
woman and no one gives them crap. Now, now what
you're in a relationship or older younger she is a
few years older than me. Okay, but like do you see,
like do you think it would is reverse? People would
(11:48):
give you more crap like that, Why are you dating
someone so younger than you know? Because I think I
usually with guys like guys love it when the girls
much younger, or everyone looks at it like, oh my god.
Hence all those names that that Pete Davinson just said.
But since since Pete davidsonsons on the younger side of
this relationship, everyone's giving Kate Beckinsale crap that she's dating
(12:11):
a younger guy and not and not the high fives
that normal people would give the guys for dating younger.
It's just one of those hypocritical like the twenty years.
It is a lot, it is. It's hard to get past.
Well it is, but I think you find common ground
obviously in in the relationship somehow outside of just doing it.
And uh, it's just weird. I find it weird that
(12:36):
if this was a reverse people would be like, oh,
but since it's not, everybody's like whatever. Uh did you
hear about the plane west from Saudi Arabia to Malaysia?
They had to return Do you know why they returned
to the gate? If you were to guess why the
plane had to return to the gate, you've been on
planes before, right, someone dropped the deuce in the bathroom. Okay,
(12:59):
we'll going with deuce in the athroom. Know how about
woman forgetting her baby at the terminal? So a woman
walks on the plane, sits down, puts her you know,
bag in the overhead compartment, and maybe gets herself settled,
breaks out her iPad. Maybe we're about to watch a movie,
and goes, oh, crap, I forgot my baby. So this
is this is what the pilot was calling into you
(13:21):
air traffic control. Air traffic control had no idea what
was going on. Grace. We're talking about the woman. The
woman who left the baby at the airport terminal right
before the plane took off, and she tried to get
the plane to stop. Totally ridiculous. You know, here's the thing.
How do you leave your baby behind? I don't understand that.
I understand's a lot going on. You. You have problems
(13:44):
with flying, You don't like flying that much? No, okay, fine,
I do not like flying, so my mind is a
little off. Okay, so let's just say your mind is
off and maybe not maybe not your kid, but I
could see you forgetting a bag or baby, a child.
You have no excuses for lee being your baby behind.
All right, So let's go to the air traffic control
talking to the pilot. But puts baby in the corner
(14:07):
from smatch uh sending back to the gate. Confirmilism please baby. Okay,
if you were to believe that, if someone were to
(14:27):
tell you that, there was no way you would believe it.
But it actually happened where she left the baby and
she the plane turned around. Maybe you turn off on
the Turnomac to go get the baby. Maybe the baby
didn't want to go on the plane. All right, So
we all know that everybody has their smart services, Sirie, Alexa.
Now there is a new genderless voice called Q, like Alextion, Sirie,
(14:50):
but neither male nor females, launched by a startup company
like Kickstarter. Was created using voices of people who identify
as non non binary, meaning people who don't ident if
I exclusively as male or female. This, this is what
Q sounds like. West, That's what non binary means. West. Hi,
I'm QUE, the world's first genderless voice assistant. Think of
(15:12):
me like Syria or Alexa, but neither male nor female.
I'm created for our future where we are no longer
defined by gender, but rather how we define ourselves. My
voice was recorded by people who neither identify as male
nor female and then altered to sound gender neutral, putting
my voice between a hundred and forty five and a
(15:32):
hundred seventy herds arranged defined by audio researchers. But for
me to become a third option for voice assistance, I
need your help. Share my voice with Apple, Amazon, Google,
and Microsoft, and together we can ensure that technology recognizes
us all. I think genderless voice could work actually as
(15:52):
opposed to having a male or female because that the
I'm tired of sirie. I listen, I get it, I
really do. But I do think that we are just overthinking,
you know, I mean down to now, the computer voice,
I just like, it's a computer, so it really doesn't
need to be a man or a woman. At the
end of the day, it's a computer. Computers are in people.
(16:15):
I wanted to be a man or a woman because
because you have that mentality, open your mind on this one.
I am. I have an open mind. I just think,
you know, why, why why do we We've argue everything
and make it all PC all the way down the
option put but the option they should have just put
it in there. I don't think they need like a
(16:37):
whole Oh we want to push this, let's do this,
let's get this in there. So this company is pretty
much just saying, hey, give us the option. I would
would a male voice or a female voice is offensive?
I mean that's I don't know. But but if you, uh,
but if you identify with being binary, right, why not
have some some voice that represents you? Would voice? Do
(17:00):
you have a necessary right now. This is just again
I I I just think that we have gotten so
PC on things that we now have to even even
debate a computer voice, and that a computer voice needs
to be non gender. All right, it's just so much
just opinion. It's just an opinion. Let's move on, all right.
(17:20):
It doesn't make a break me, just just for the case,
just for the record, it is make or break me
if it is, it is whatever, whatever, and I'm fine
with it. I'm fine. I'm just saying I don't know
why we have to continue to live in this super
duper delicate PC world where everything is just so like vanilla.
All right, let's go to this so it is not
(17:41):
jumping on this topic. Was not jumping because I believe
in the fact of having the option of being there.
They're using the male of the female voice on your
just I haven't changed it the so whatever SERI is
the female voice that came with you? I may I
have the regular voice? Yeah to the male one? Oh
you say, alright, See, I did not change. I was
one with the woman voice. I was. That didn't bother me.
(18:02):
I don't know, but I guess because I've been using
the voice for such a while I just want something different.
That's why, Well, that's why you change, because you use
it for so long. You can only hear series so
many times before you go sorry, see you later. How
are we gonna end up giving West a gift when
he leaves? Why not? Do you have a parting gift?
We should? Right here? How about the second act? Really
engaged on blue ray and DVD? Alright? If they're not
(18:25):
paying for that. Now, if I say I have a
story coming out of Florida, what do you think the
headline would be? A stupid news story about a burglar
that got caught because they left their wallet at the
house that they're burglarized? All right, West, story coming out
of Florida, where the craziest stories do happen. What do
you think the story is about alligator attack or something?
Alligator attack? Very good? Very good. I would normally go
(18:47):
with an animal of sorts, But that is the difference
between alligator and a crocodile. I don't know a hold
on a second SRI about this. I'm not sure. I'm
just thinking about the other day, the difference between a
croc dial and a you're really thinking about this? The
other day, I was thinking about it really was, Oh
it sirie. What is the difference between an alligator and
(19:10):
a crocodile? Okay, alligator and crocodile? Okay, it says. All
she said was that she found an article on it
here it is an alligator is a crocodile? In the
Oh god, somebody's trying to call me now zero three
(19:31):
s six? Would it come on? This is gonna be great.
All right, let's see who this is. Hello. Yeah, okay, yeah, okay, good, alright, alright,
message this is this is why we don't need phones anymore.
So let's go to Florida. Forty seven year old woman
(19:51):
in a trailer park in Florida shot her boyfriend in
the chest with the shotgun last Wednesday by snoring for
snoring too loudly. You know, somebody. He's fine and she
says it was an accident, but was arrested for attempted murder.
And of course they talked to the neighbors. And when
you talk to the neighbors, the neighbors are like they're
the perfect neighbors. Like my question is, how are you
(20:13):
fine if somebody shoots you in the chest with a
shot you miss he misses the things that keep you alive.
I don't know. Let's go to the neighbors. So stupid,
so bizarre that I can't imagine that kind of behavior.
To hear that it was over him snoring is kind
of shocking. It's kind of crazy. That's that's crazy. Um,
(20:33):
I don't care how mad you are, you shouldn't be
grabbing a gun unless year life's threatened. We actually have
audio of her, we have audio of him snoring, and
why she's familiar. I'm just gonna say, Garrick, I do
(21:07):
believe that you are making fun of me by playing
sound of myself snore. You do realize how how annoying
that sounds, right, Yes, I do realize that. But I
also realized that if you push, if you press this
trigger of a shotgun, your shotgun shells that blue that
explode you. You cannot survive being shot in the chest.
You think, do you think they're lying? I don't think
(21:29):
it was a shotgun. Then it had to be a
different kind of a gun, because there's no way a
shotgun shell it expands exactly so you would you would destroy,
you be dead. Well, let's let's come out, because I
think you're a little stressed. Out. So Matthew McConaughey is stressed,
Yes you are. Has has a new gig where he
(21:49):
is reading bedtime stories on a new app called Calm.
I think I think Matthew McConaughey is really cool. By
the way, Well, let's listen, and he's one of my
absolute favorite actors of all time. I'm not even kidding you.
Comp Well, hello there, I'm Matthew McConaughey. Tonight, I'll be
reading a special sleep story called Wonder. Before we begin,
(22:12):
as you settle in under the covers, with your head
easing into the pillow and your body sinking into the mattress,
like you to let your mind drift with me for
just a minute, Let's ask the question, how often do
we ponder the depth lincoln of the present moment, the
one we're in? I mean, how often do we really
(22:34):
feel what's happening within and around us, allowing ourselves to
be moved, to be inspired, whiskey, to be filled with
gratitude for the mystery and the beauty of this universe
and of this life. I would buy anything that Matthew
McConaughey sells. I think I think you wouldn't snore if
(22:54):
you listen to Matthew McConaughey. What other that is not true?
What other actor would you buy a product if they're
pushing because you like him so much? Uh? Come on,
come on, what about you? I would buy a Lincoln
from Matthew McConaughey. I would buy anything that he's selling.
I think the dude is super cool man. That's who
I want to be. I want to be Matthew McConaughey.
(23:15):
All right, this wasn't have a scruffy beard like that
and driver cool because I've tried to grow a beard,
though it doesn't were gonna be like Matthew McConaughey. That's what.
When I come back in a different life, I want
to come back looking like Matthew McConney. But if you
come back like Matthew McConaughey, but you're you know, I
want to be Matthew McConaughey. I like Matthew McConaughey. I
want to look like him. I want to but you
(23:36):
would like him, but you would know that if you
came back as Matthew McConaughey because you're someone else, You're right,
that's a good you know that's listen, that's something. We
really got a dissector in the library. You got the laboratory.
You gotta understand that. That's why I said, if you
were to come back, you wouldn't even know you would
look like Matthew McConaughey, but you would still be you,
because then you would realize how cool that Just if
(23:56):
I look like Matthew McConaughey, I'm found with that too.
And and his brain, Um, I don't think he has
that much of a brain left. Wait, way to offend him, alight.
So this was going viral all week, so alright, alright, alright, alright.
So Chris Evans was was ranking his favorite Frito Lay
(24:17):
chips in order. So I'm gonna give you the chips,
will rank him in order that I will listen to
some audio. So we got Cheetos, Frito's Cool Ranch, Dorito's
Nacho cheese, Doritos lays barbecue and lays original. I what Cheetos,
Frito's Cool Ranch, both cheese. Let's ask our guest West,
how did you rank them? I like Dorito's first Dorito
(24:40):
which one regular? All right? So cheese, yeah, cheese with
cool ranch after that cool Ranch sucks. Hey, cool ranch,
and then after that, I guess would be the Frios No,
I'm sorry, Cheetos and Fritos, and then the plain Lays
and then barbecue last. Yeah, yeah, you last. See I
(25:01):
would do I like Dorrito's, and then I like the Cheetos,
and then I would put the regular potato chips in there,
just kind of breaking up a little bit. Then I
would go with barbecue potato chips, and then I would
go with what's all the Frito's. Yeah, I'm not a
big friedo guy. And then I would go to Ranch
Dorito's dead last, because I cannot stand ranch flavored doritos. Well,
(25:25):
I know, out of this list, I would put Frito's
last because if you have to dip it into a chip,
it's really not a chip. I don't even like the
blue packaging on the ranch Doritos. Well, all right, so
friends started talking about this. So this is a bunch
of guys arguing over this exact same thing. We just did. Dorito's, Doritos, Tritos, barbecue,
(25:46):
Frio's legs. Y'all ain't y'all, ain't ya hood? You thought
right here with Doritos, then you go to Cheeto any
cheese products already in the hood has tossed it all.
Dan Friedo out of respect to your grandma, freed Win
barbecue and cool Ranch was still give me hidden people.
(26:15):
I'm with West. I like cool Ranch. Listen, why don't
you like cool Ranch? Why? I don't like the flavor
of it? I don't like the chalkiness on my fingers,
and I can't stand the blue color dorrito bag. You
don't I don't like it. Um. So we're all grown
adults here. We all pay bills. That's correct. I do.
Do you get electric bills every month? Electric bills? Yes?
(26:37):
I do? Yes? Uh? Did you hear about the guy
from New York, Tommy strab His electric bill came and
it was thirty eight million dollars. What I had assumed
it was a problem. The seventy four dollars had turned
into the pay field into thirty seven million or so.
And I tried to change it, and I you know,
it was highlighting it, trying to vacspace it, refresh the page.
(26:59):
Nothing worked. Tommy didn't panic. He tweeted, Hey, con Edison,
I own a six d square foot apartment and a
story of queens. I do not own the entirety of
Manhattan Island. This is insane. Fix it. Should your first
step have been to contact con directly instead of via tweet?
I think so, but it probably and and my you know,
(27:20):
and people who are my age or seven or so.
I just figured, you know what, I'll send him a
tweet and I'll see if they direct message me in
the morning. It's not fun for me to go through
a Twitter timeline with thousands of tweets or thousands of
responses people telling me that I'm lying. He said, he's
very sorry, you know, kN apologized. They said, you do
not know what's thirty seven billion dollars, and they assured
me that there was no issue. Now, I get he
should have called Conan right away, the the electric company.
(27:43):
But when you call these companies, and I think you
guys can agree on anyone listening, you get the robot,
and the robot takes forever just to get to a
human that's correct. And then once you're put on hold,
you have hold music and you don't want to listen
to that either, right, Therefore you go take a rent
of Twitter. Alright, Alright, so we know we know from
CPR that the song Staying Alive is the perfect song
(28:04):
to go and rhythm with when you're you're doing CPR
on someone that needs it. Yes, did you know have
you ever had to do CPR and a real person? Yes? Really,
a real person was a life. Oh get out of here.
That's a bucket list from my for me? Why would
you want that? Well? Why not? It's not that I
want to Actually, it's on your bucket list. So that's
something you want to do. I would like to, which
(28:26):
means someone is on the border of possibly dying. I
don't want that to happen. But wouldn't you really want
to try CPR and a real person, like be in
a situation where like you're like, oh my god, I
have to try this. No, why I wouldn't wish that
on anyone. So you're not thinking abstractly about this bucklet.
I don't think you are. But you're thinking about a
bucklest like I would look to jump out of an
airplane and you want to give someone, Well, that's something
(28:50):
that you're not ever going to really do all and
there's no guarantee that that person will survive. But it's
just like it's like it's like robbing a bank, you know,
like you're not gonna again another thing. I don't want
to be on your bucket list. Bucket Yes, it is,
it is? Is what did you think I'd be a
cool rush to have to be running in there with
like some guns of blazing and you're like, give me
(29:10):
the money, you know, okay, trying to get away. People
are in there, people are in the bank. I don't
want to shoot anybody. And look how you have stipulations
to this when in the reality it's never gonna happen
like that. It's just the fact of feeling like I
have got a loaded gun and I'm gonna run into
a bank. You know, Like what is that? Like? Do
I get the money? Do not get the money? Am
I gonna get arrest? H Am I gonna get Am
(29:30):
I gonna be my car? Will there be a car chase?
There's all kinds of things. You're like, Wow, this is
a cool bucket list. I mean, not everybody could say
that they had a car chase with police officers. You
want a car chase with a police officer to a
bank yelling give me your money. It's a bucket list
right there. You cannot deny that it's not a bucket list.
What do you mean that's not bucket list. You're never
(29:51):
going to get a chance to do that. That's like
a non bucket list bucket list Listen, there's so many
other things like when do you get caught? Do you
get caught? Yes? Or no? Do I get caught in
my dream? Hopefully no? I get away. I like I
plant the car somewhere and I get out and I hide.
You ever seen some of these these uh these chase,
these police chases, Like they get out and they start running.
Why would you do that? You want to get out.
(30:12):
You were in a marathon, but you want to get
out where like you can hide in like a bush
or something where like they can never find you. That's
what you want to do. You want to like hide
behind like a pillar where they can't see your body
and they're looking around like where do you go? Where
do you go? And then you're hiding, like that's what
you gotta do. So you've walked into a bank before,
just on an average day and and to you know,
do whatever you have to do in the bank, and
you've thought about what if I were to do this
(30:34):
one day? Yeah, what would that be like? So you're
actually in a bank, thinking about robbing a bank, but
I'm not really not You're not actually going to do it.
I get it, not gonna do that. But you've had
the thoughts about robbing a bank while in a bank.
How could you not? You never thought about that. You
never thought about like going to a grocery store and
and like and like stealing. No, what what is with you?
It's a bucket list that you're never gonna do, But
(30:54):
wouldn't you be neat you just try it the non
bucket list bucket list, but you don't hurt anybody, and
nobody gets hurt. You just like kind of do it.
So you rather scare people with your gun as you
go into a bank. I want to on my bucket list.
Would would say, like it would be cool to try it,
but you're never going to get it. You're never gonna
do that because same people are never gonna do that.
So I'm never gonna go do it. But wouldn't it
(31:16):
be cool if you could do it? They just have
like like like the police should have like you have
more if you have more on this non bust. But
what I do think is that the police should run
a program or anybody that wants to try to rob
a bank, can do it on one day and then
at like a certain place, so they're standing by just
when training. Nobody gets hurt and like, all right, had
that feel, had that feeling. You're like, oh man, that
was awesome. I ran in there and they were like
(31:38):
and you're like give me your effort money, man, and
they like they're like jumped and they were screaming and
you're like, oh my god. But then and that's it,
and then you got your car like I'll see you later,
and then you go home like you you just got
that feeling out of your back just wants to rush.
You don't want the consequences, right, I don't want any consequences.
I want nobody getting hurt. I want nobody nothing. I
want everybody to laugh about at the end, it's just
(31:58):
a feeling of like what to be liked actually running
there like a mask and you know, like and you're
like you can't see me, put your heads up and
give me all your body you've really thought about, you
know West you're very quiet or is it more shock? Yeah?
I don't even know what to say. But you never
see you see these movies all the time. It's a
movie yeah, but don't you want to Like I've I've
(32:21):
watched the town. I don't think about robbing Fenway Park.
What did your you ever think about? Like can I
crawl inside my neighbor's house, like in his window and
like break in and like steal a TV? But you
give it back to them later on? But like the
fact that you like, you know, you get in there
and keep apartment. I did hear that? That's fun? That's fun, right?
(32:43):
You know what you could do? Greg, think about that,
here's what you could do, But you don't think about
going and crawling through somebody's window, that your neighbor's house.
Maybe maybe this is a thing stealing jewelry, but you'll
give it back. But you just wanted to see what
that was like. So you know, escape rooms are a thing. No, no, no,
escape rooms. But it's not fun. It's ape room. But
you you tell her to what you're describing right now,
(33:05):
I don't know. It's not fun. Escape rooms aren't fun.
You have to figure out a code. But no, no, no, no,
don't don't think. Don't think of the escape room. Think
of everything you just described. Well, what about what running
on the baseball field during a game and messing up
the whole entire game and maybe sliding into second base.
I think that would be fun. See that's different though,
(33:26):
that's you're not scaring anyone. Yeah you are. You're scaring
the players. You're gonna get arrested. Players don't they don't care.
You ever seen them? They have bats. Listen to me.
There are people that are like, they're much bigger. That's
a crazy person right there. And you're about to get arrested.
You know you're going to jail, and and the police
are gonna thump on you. They're gonna really gonna kill you.
There question, do you do a clothe there naked dude?
Who knows? I guess right now, Right now I can
(33:50):
see ring out there naked. No, but I'm gonna slide
the second So I'm gonna slide with my clothes on.
I'm not slide with my when well, my my jingle
Jangles getting scraped up on the ground. You would make
more of an impression and go viral if you're naked. Now,
I don't think you go viral anymore. Maybe if you're naked,
maybe I just think that that would be cool. Like
what about running on the football field when the play is.
Actually that is the dumbest thing ever. But like so
(34:12):
Eli Manning is dropping back and throw the ball and
you run to where that ball is gonna be and
then you catch it and then you get killed. They
they tackle you on the field. Bucket list right there? Well, yeah,
those guys would actually tackle you and you would be concussed. Amazing.
That would be an amazing bucket list right there. What
about what about stealing a zamboni at a hockey game
and just driving it wildly all on the ice. You
(34:34):
can't car, You're stuck on the ice. Where are you going? Well?
What an amazing bucket list? Like you you steal all right,
so let's play this out. You drive her off. You're
on the samboni. You steal a zamboni. Yeah, and you're
like just driving. I'm like, I'm like a getaway car.
You can get away somewhere. Yeah, but this is one right,
you're just smashing into the boards and all the people
are screaming. So you're smashing into the boards and then
(34:56):
what happens and then the thing like rams into the
board and and it breaks, I don't know, And then
you get off and then you try to run off
the ice like before they can get you. That's a
cool bugle list. What the top speed and those things
are nine point seven miles an hour. Yeah, you're not
going anywhere. Well, but you're not there to try to
get to you while you're on there, and they can
out run you. A human can run faster than nine.
(35:20):
There's so many things that you're never gonna be able
to do ever, but you want a reason for it.
What about like going to a you run into a
mattress store and you just get on a mattress and
you start jumping, and then you go from the next
mattress to the next one, the next one, and then
they're all looking at you like what are you doing?
You're crazy and you're just jumping jumping, jumping, jumping. Then
(35:40):
you jump back onto the floor and you run out
of the store. Bucket list, You got a weird but
you never wanted to go do that? All right, Let's
let's go about running into a food store and taking
a ginormous zucchini and yelling, go go along for a
past and then you throw the zucchini and then you
like just tip over a gigantic table full of like
straw areas and they blast all over the floor and
(36:02):
then you you walk out all right. School. So schools
are now putting staying Alive from the bags on the
back burner when it comes to teaching kids CPR. They
found a new song because uh, if you're using CPR,
it's a hundred to a hundred and twenty beats uh
per per minute where you have to find the song
that you could do it to and to keep tempo
(36:23):
when you are giving someone CPR of it. Uh, they
now found a new song that is a hundred fifteen,
hundred and fifteen beats per minute, and uh it goes
a little something like this. It's not a good song.
Ow listen, it's this is so someone flatlines you give CPR.
(36:48):
Baby shark, Baby shark is a hundred and fifteen beats
per minute. Shar baby shark shocks sharted a baby baby.
I like this, likemmy shot, mommy shot out the shart him.
(37:09):
Mommy sharted shart and mommy shake sharded, shared, shared sharted
shot shot, don't shared shoddy. Everybody sharts. Yes. I started
(37:31):
the only day I had to fart, and I tried
to push it out at a little I was at home.
I was. I was doing work in my office. So
you're at home and you can't go to the bathroom. Yeah,
I just tried to fart in a little duty came
out and it like squirted into my cheese. All right,
so we've heard it. Pull my pants not to go
to the bathroom. I could see it. It was like
like duty. That is disgusting. We've all heard about the
college admission scandal over the last two days, where celebrities
(37:55):
and very wealthy rich people have cheated the system to
get there with the rich their children into schools that
they couldn't get into by themselves. It's interesting though, because
Lori Laughlin, who plays Ambecky on Full House, her daughter
is quote unquote Instagram influencer and uh had this to
say on Instagram prior to being caught for what her
(38:15):
mom did. So I'll be going to college and I'll
still be working on YouTube with work, it's going to
be hard. Like my first week of school. I'm leaving
to go to Fiji for work, and then I'll be
in New York a bunch this year for work and
traveling to a different country because I'm creating something with
this country, and that's for work. So I don't know
how much of school I'm going to attend, but I'm
(38:36):
gonna go in and talk to my deans and everyone
and hope that I can try and balance at all. Um,
but I do want the experience like game days, partying.
Oh my god, I don't want to care about school,
as you guys don't know. So she doesn't care about school,
so she wants to go to the dean and see
how she can work it out because she's gonna go
do something in Fiji for her YouTube page. This is
(38:56):
the problem. Do you think do you think they knew?
These kids knew what their parents were doing? Oh I'm sorry, yeah,
I almost saying I just got a bad text message something.
What do you think these kids knew what their parents
were doing? Um? I do? I think they knew and
they didn't care. That's that's what I think. Definitely, here's
a bucket list. When don't you want to go walk
over to your boss and just go hey, if you
(39:19):
ain't coming in right now, what do you want to
do that? All right, we'll wrap it up as great
Tea finishes doing whatever he's doing. Uh, let's see, what's
what are your thoughts so far? Any comments. I like it. Uh,
all right, Oh you hear about the homeless kids. So
we're talking about college and the scams. This kid from
(39:39):
Jersey City got accepted into seventeen colleges now because his
parents paid, because he was smart enough, and he happens
to be homeless. Uh. He's a member of the Honor Society.
His family moved from Trinidad when he was seven. He
has a twin brother with a serious heart condition. The
kids got a lot of things going on in his life.
(40:00):
Parents didn't cheat the system. He did it all on
his own and now accepted into seventeen colleges. So this
is a Dylan chat chattic. Right, yeah, you see a
ramapo and all right. I have to have a lot
of determination that there's been a lot of people saying
they're not going to achieve this and me getting these acceptions.
That is kind of verifies what I've been saying that
(40:20):
I can do it and I will will do it.
It's been hard financially, Um, we've been homeless. Put it
like that. That basically made me more determined to never
let us get back to in that situation. Again. She's
a great example of doing all that's necessary to help
her children the cause in New Jersey. I haven't heard
(40:43):
that yet, but that's my top score right now. You
got a college was I did a little community college
community I went four years or out of university. I've
got accepted into three schools. I probably applied to about six.
So after this scandal, it makes me think I get
screwed over based on my my poorness, my poor grades,
(41:05):
or the fact that I didn't grease the wheel to
to get in. You got to think that. I mean, Uh,
let's see, do you hear the story about air pods
could give you brain cancer? Uh? No, and I use
them all the time. It will Well, let's go to
the Daily Show just from the other night to see
what they had to say. Two fifty scientists from over
forty countries have signed a petition to warn against radio
(41:27):
wave radiation from wireless technologies. Experts warned the close proximity
of wireless headphones like air pods, especially the fact that
one has to communicate through the other right through your
brain like, could cause some serious health risk. The radiation,
they emit has been linked to cancer. Though in some
cases AirPods might give you brain cancer, still better than
(41:48):
having to untangle wires. I mean, it's true. They've always
said that with cell phones. They said with cell phones.
But the thing, as I've learned with these tests is
they talked to one specific doctor, and then this doctor
might not be the top doctor. He's just a doctor
in the field. So they use it as this is
the official spokesperson for doctors who deal with brain cancer,
(42:11):
and then they run with it, and then they make
a story out of it, and then apple, Well, the
only good thing about this is air pod sales. Uh
could be the price could be lowered, um, and then
I might be able to afford them. Um. Let's see.
That's that's pretty much it. I mean crazy people, people
(42:31):
eating boogers. Uh. More more stuff from the college. Oh,
Jerky Boys. Do you listen to Jerky Boys growing up?
All right? So the Jerky Boys have a new album
of prank calls. This is uh, pretty much where phone
taps got started from. It was it was prior Jerky
Boys pretty much started the whole prank phone call recording
(42:51):
it and making money off of it. Unfortunately, one half
of the Jerky Boys is back, the guy who does
Frank Rizzo and Jack Torres. Uh. You can listen to
the first call. It's called Frank's braces. Well, this is done.
How to down talk clinic? What happened to the duntal
clinic dentist inquiry? Yeah? How many I have to? Yeah,
(43:13):
I gotta have my my teeth straightened out? Okay, Yeah,
they're all crooking, you know what I'm saying. Of course,
if some tis cook at the usually recommended braces, well,
you know, I tried once. I made my own braces.
That is some little pieces of wooden, some metal, and uh,
they tore up the side of my face. So maybe
(43:34):
there's another way you can use this polymer or rubber
if you bounce around and you're closing your jaw that
I don't think it's an option in a clinic. Well,
of course it's an option. I made it myself. You
can buy it down at the local hardware store. Yeah. Perfect,
I'll see I'll see you then and we'll get those
braces in my mouth and on my legs. All right,
sounds good? Alright, brother By, I missed the Jerky Boys.
(43:58):
I mean that was I remember being like fourth fifth
grade and kind of sneaking because it was one of
those things where you weren't supposed to listen to it
because it was naughty. You could buy it on tape
or whatever. Yeah, exactly bought on tape and and eventually
CDs and then they went away, and uh, I guess,
just like everything else in entertainment, it says, hey, we
stopped making money. Time to make some more money. Let's go.
(44:19):
Uh and then that but that wasn't as funny. It
wasn't that good. I will but they're back. Maybe that's
just a tease of of stuff. Why I put out
your best effort. I don't know. I'm making excuses for
no reason. Uh. And we'll end on this. So you
watch The First Prince growing Up? Yes, plus me too
loved it. Uh. Now this is kind of interesting. So
this isn't actually a show just yet. The Fresh Prince
(44:41):
is a show, but someone put this out on YouTube.
It's a trailer they put together by themselves with a
bunch of friends showing what if the Fresh Prince of
bel Air would be a drama? So Fresh Prince of
bel Air with Will Smith comedy what if it was
a drama? It actually this trailer. If you get to
see it, go watch it. Yeah, you can look for
it on YouTube called I believe bell Air, but this
(45:05):
is the audio from the trailer, and I'm into this show.
Look at you. The only reason why you're not in
jealous because Uncle Phil called in a favor you through this.
They're stupid. You are carrying a gun on the streets
(45:26):
to protect yourself. I've done my best. Will It's time
for a change. You're going to bell Air to live
with your uncle, and you will. I will not build
you out again in this house. I'm not Uncle Phil.
(45:47):
I'm the law. Have I made myself absolutely clear? Yeah? Yeah,
so will? What brings you to bell Air? I caught
with a gun? How related? Again? Called he's from the
streets of Philadelphia. We'll need to disap just a little time,
(46:08):
just a little time and a little love. We are
what he needs. Why don't you go back to Philly?
Born and raised? Right? I think I would ever want
to be in this life? Not welcome? When is this fake?
Wherever you're first? Sat anything, earnest nothing? My life and sitcom?
I give feel like I belong you. Just give it
some time. Everything happens for a reason. I'm in. It
(46:30):
sounds like a t NT drama. It sounds like it
sounds like the show that's going to replace Empire once
it gets canceled due to all the craziness that's going
on in that show. But uh, there's a change dot
org position going around for Netflix to at least consider
even looking at it, so be on the lookout. We
probably heard of it before it even becomes anything. So
uh that is that. West. I appreciate you stopping by
(46:51):
being being a part of it. Use this to uh
further your podcast career because people people listen and thank
you for listening. Great T stepped out of the room.
But you know we're closing it out because if we
wait from him, we'll be here all day. So uh,
all right, we'll end with that. All right, thank you
for listening on I Heart Radio. This is the Audio Laboratory.
(47:12):
My name is Garrett. That's West Gregg, T says by,
but he's nowhere to be seen. We'll talk to you
very very soon, hopefully next week.
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