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November 8, 2024 72 mins

#315:  The boys debate the proper etiquette of dipping and flipping finger foods in the community sauce when sharing an appetizer; Brody's nosy whistleblower neighbor is causing him garage grief and pet limit trouble at the town house complex; Skeery describes his first colonoscopy experience; the boys read a bunch of scam texts they've received and Brody is too smart for an eBay Scamboni

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, Start Up,
Brooklyn Boys, start Up, Up Up, They Making Noise dot Up, start.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Up, dot Up, Episode three point fifteen, The Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Hello, Hi,
I'm Brodie. He's scary.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Yeah, and we're late, very late for the week. If
you just you yeah, yeah. This is on November the eighth.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
I am. I am November the eighth. I am.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
We sat down almost an hour ago to do this podcast,
and we've been bullshitting and talking about stuff, and we
got completely distracted. Very just you guys won't notice it
because you're gonna just play this whenever you play this,
but just know that if you played it the second
it came out, could have had an could have had
an hour earlier. And if you're hope to listen to
it Friday afternoon, we apologize. It's all Scary's fault.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Oh yoh yeah sure, just pin it on me right.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Let me tell you. You don't want to do a podcast yesterday.
You don't want to do a pod.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
I was yesterday, Okay, I was groggy yesterday. I had
my colonoscopy yesterday.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yes, I know. I can't wait to hear about all
about that ship Hio, get your highway exam. I could
say the things that I couldn't say on the Big
Show today. Well that's why we do a podcast. I
can't standing on the big show either. Oh all right,
there you go.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
You're ah my god, I got friends hitting me up
right now?

Speaker 4 (01:29):
What are you doing tonight? What's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Of course, of course you do.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
I'm like, what am I going to say?

Speaker 2 (01:35):
What do I answer?

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Joe Loopo wants to know what I'm doing tonight.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
By the way, Uh, just tell him you're busy. Tell
him you stay in tonight.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
I'm staying in. Is that I'm gonna tell him?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, he say, he said, you know what, I'm gonna
stay and read a book. You to work on that
stack of papers.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
He wouldn't believe he would think someone stole my phone.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
You think he would believe that I would actually write
something like that. No, but you should do it to
see what he says.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
It's crazy.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Parents crawl up with a good book and a glass
of wine.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
Parents intuition.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
So last weekend I went with my Brooklyn boys and
we went to.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Uh as opposed to the Brooklyn Boys going.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Not the Brooklyn Boys, my Brooklyn, my old school, Brooklyn.
Boyfriends right right, went up till like my boy's house, Lloyd.
He lives up in Cornwall on Hudson and Cornwall.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
It just sounds so bad. Uh yeah, no, we we
you got the Cornwall Lloyd yesterday, Oscar. They gave me
the old Cornwall Lloyd. Doctor, what are we what procedure
what what? What are we gonna do exactly for this patient?
I checked his charge. We're giving him the Cornwall.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
I thought Cornwall Lloyd was a revolutionary War hero, Cornwall Lloyd.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
But anyway, maybe I don't know he was. He was
on the he was born of the Confederates, so uh
so so lost.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
We went out to a place called, I guess drunk
Drunken drunk Land.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
Oh no, Drownland, Drownland Brewery. It's like, no, it's great.
So it's good.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
One of the best breweries in that area in the upstate,
in the Hudson Valley region. And I was with my friends,
you know, we did a bunch of things, went up to.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Beacon, New York.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Had some great food there at the Roundhouse. Uh place,
well being relatable the people that might live in the area,
you know. But anyway, so you just said parents intuition,
you know, or intuition that you know, my buddy just
that I was saying if I if I wrote on
a text, yeah I'm reading a book.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
I'm not going to see it at night, and reminded
me of what happened.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I'm curled up. So I'm curling up with a good
book tonight.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Petting a kitten, petting kittens.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Uh so so yeah, So we were at the house.
It was late night on Saturday night, and Lloyd's wife, Sarah,
went to go pick her daughter up at a Halloween
party that her daughter had been.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
The heard her daughter obviously is in high school.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Well well, well not obviously unless you know the story.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Well, so, well she was in high school and you
know she had to go pick her up. So apparently
this was one of her first for rays in the
world of getting.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
Drunk the daughter.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
And so so she comes in and in her like
cat outfit, and she's like and I'm like, how is Halloween?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
It was great?

Speaker 3 (04:32):
You know whatever, and then she stormed off to the
room and and then you know, my buddy's wife was like,
She's like, well, I knew something was up because she
was supposed to call me for a midnight pickup, and
the text messages were.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Like can I come can you give me another half hour?

Speaker 3 (04:53):
Pretty please? And I immediately my antenna went up. You
don't talk like that. What do you mean, prett?

Speaker 4 (05:00):
Who is this? Who is this?

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Like? She's her mom is texting? So this So apparently.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Lloyd's daughter got her friend to you know, she gave
her her phone and she was pretending she was, you know,
Lloyd's daughter, and she was texting you know, the mom
and saying can I come on please?

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Just another half hour? Mom?

Speaker 3 (05:21):
Right, but again parents' intuition. Sarah knew right away that
it wasn't her daughter texting her.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I said, how did you know?

Speaker 4 (05:30):
I said, how did you pick up on that?

Speaker 2 (05:31):
She goes, are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (05:32):
She would never use the word pretty please, she said,
I know the way my daughter talks. I'm like, I
don't know if I would be able to decipher if
someone was texting for someone else, you know, if I'm
texting like Brody for instance, I don't know if I
could decipher if it was someone else texting for you,
if someone else, if someone was indeed texting for you,

(05:53):
because how it's it's just it's their their letters on
a on a friggin template.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
It just letters, you.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Know, scrolling up, just messages coming through. I mean, but
if I texted back like boe bye, you would know
it wasn't me boe by I think would be you. No,
it would I would never type bubye. Never. If I
wrote chow for now, it would be like, that's not brody.
I'm not a chowd for now guy. But I could
picture you writing that. No, you couldn't. I would never

(06:22):
say chow for now. So I'm like, you know, piece
in the Middle East. I'm not that guy. I want
piece in the Middle East. But I would never say
that as a you know.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
I just found it fascinating that Sara knew it wasn't
her daughter, just from the choice of words.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's crazy, but I guess, uh, you know. It was
just reminded me of that just before. Yeah, you can
always you can tell. If I if I texted you
and I said you don't owe me a steak dinner,
you would know. I would know whether you right away.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
Right, No, I would think you're drunk.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
If I said to you, let's go out and get
hammered tonight, you'd be like, who is this yeah, you're right.
Like this is I said, let's go out night, I'll treat.
That's another one.

Speaker 4 (07:03):
Yes, you're right.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
There's a new vegan place near me. Let's go. Let's
go eat my treat.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
I want to get dressed up in a suit. Let's
go to the fanciest please, let's go to the fanciest,
bougiest spot. You know I'm in that you saying it
to me, that's you texting me.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
I'm not.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, I listen. I got an idea putting on a suit.
But go ahead, let's split the bill evenly.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Fine, that's another don't drink a lot so I'd be
fine with that.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
No, that would be you texting me. I'm like, that
would be that's not brody texting me. Now, that's not
far enough off. I would split it.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
I split the check all the time with my friends,
because they don't order forty five dollars glasses of scotch
and then order six of them. I order. If they order,
I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. I'll tell
you how I am scary if I order a nineteen dollar
salad and they order a twenty one dollar burger and
a soda I split the check. I don't quibble over

(08:02):
the two or three dollars. I remember it forever, but
I don't. I don't quibble over it. But if they order,
you know, expensive something, yeah, it's you know that's that's like, oh,
you get an appetizer. No, oh, I'm getting the twenty
eight dollars appetizer. I'm getting the crab legs. Well that's
on you, Paul. I'm not paying half of hourt you're
giving me a fucking crab leg.

Speaker 3 (08:21):
I gotta say, though, three, if it was three bottles
of wine and you're not drinking, I think we would
cut you out of that.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
I think they would. Yes, you're not going to split
the bills me on there. I think that's correct. You've
got me on that one. You can ask for a
separate bar bill. You know.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
That reminded me of something that I just forgot.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
I don't know. I could go to bar Bill or Barbell.
Is supposed to work out today. I was supposed to.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Work out today, but uh, for some reason, I didn't
work out either. Man, yesterday.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
You don't give a shit.

Speaker 4 (08:50):
Those lines made mushrooms. Man, They are really working for me.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
They really can't remember anything. I can't remember ship right now.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
I went traumatic experience, though yesterday, in all fairness, I
was under anesthetics.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
You don't remember it, Well, take a break. Do you
really want to hear about my colonoscopy?

Speaker 1 (09:09):
I do?

Speaker 4 (09:10):
I want to know it.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
If right before you went in, the guy said I'm
a big fan of goals. I listened every more.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Do the slices want to hear?

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Maybe? Oh, I have a big morning show fans story
for you as well.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
Okay, perfect, all right, we'll do that.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Next the boys podcast. We will be right back.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
All right.

Speaker 3 (09:28):
So I'm gonna make this as quick and painless as possible,
just like my actual colonoscopy.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Ah okay, But did anyone tell you they were big
fan of gels as you were being wheeled in? No?

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Didn't get that.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
No, no, no, I'll say I'll say this, you know,
and I want to be gross.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Just the prep is, you know, and people listening like
dub been there, done that.

Speaker 4 (09:50):
The prep is the most difficult part, as people told me.
It's just.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
People told you. No the people did you just say?
Ask people told you?

Speaker 4 (10:00):
I didn't say that.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
You're hearing things you said. It's difficult ask people told me.
A lot of people told me.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
You know, a lot of people told me that, Look,
the day before when you do your prep, you gotta
get everything out of your system, because it's got to
be it's got to be.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
A scrape out the walls. It's gotta everything's got to go.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
So you have two choices, right, Either you're gonna do
the MiraLax, Gatorade, awful bo mix that everybody vomits or vomit.
You could take twenty four pills, twelve at a time
with three minute intervals, and then six hours later take
the other twelve with.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
A lot of water in between all that. I went.
I went that route because I love water. I could
drink water and I love that, and I could swallow pills.
So I went that route. I gotta say it was
that was the that was painless. However, the result will
be the same. You will be emptied out. So I
had to stay near my near my bathroom. I basically

(10:57):
didn't leave my apartment. And it was gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
It was like seventy five degrees yesterday, and I'm like God,
and then everything looked good. Every time I turn on
like like I'm flipping through the TV I'm looking at like, oh,
they're cooking this on this channel, Like I can't look
at food.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Because I'm gonna send you pictures of food all afternoon. Yeah,
you see, you're that guy. You're that guy. Well, I
didn't do it. I thought about it.

Speaker 4 (11:18):
I'm glad you didn't.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
I was salivating because then then I go to the
store looking for jello, and you can't have anything red,
so you can only drink you can only drink clear liquid.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Green and yellow.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Yeah, clear liquids, chicken broth, bone broth, soup, yeap and
uh and jello. So I'm like, what the fuck? They
don't have anything they have red? Everything was red, black, cherry, orange.
Orange is too close to red for my liking. You
can have orange. Well, I got the yellow jello.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
So I got the yellow, but it's gross, disgusting yellow jelemen,
it's lemon. But who the fuck eats that? It was?
I was terrible.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
So I made it and.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
I'm like, gotcha yellow, yell awful, bro awful, mellow yellow. Yeah, yello,
mellow yellow. And it was a yellow jello sucks.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm just gonna say, for the record, we don't need
that in our life.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
Or green?

Speaker 2 (12:13):
No, do we need lime jellow? Lime is good?

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Lime?

Speaker 2 (12:15):
Is I like lime?

Speaker 4 (12:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
But anyway, so I was eating yellow Jellow, classic jello,
and then apple jello I don't careful. And then I
chugged some bone broth beef bone broth, which sucks by itself.
I'm drinking it out of a fucking coffee cup. I'm like,
this is awful, and then like I'd rather just not
cup have to do with it. Why did you use
a coffee cup?

Speaker 3 (12:33):
Because it's like it's just like drinking it. You're drinking it.
It's a liquid.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Why is a coffee cup part of the story?

Speaker 4 (12:39):
Why I drank it? I drank it out of a
fucking coffee mug. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
It's what I grabbed. Anyway, I'm being descriptive. Leave me alone.
So so I.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
And by the time the afternoon ended, I was literally
peeing out of my ass. It was like, I'm like,
is what's going on here? It's it's not it's listen,
I'm not gonna get gross. But there was nothing, nothing gross,
l nothing gross came out of me. It was just
it was like pissing out.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Of my ass like I was just like a hose
and I'm like, what is this.

Speaker 3 (13:14):
I'm like, I think I'm cleaned out. I think I'm good,
But no, I had to take more water. You gotta
do another sixteen ounces. Those sixteen ounces and then a
whole other pill set later in the evening, I had
to do it all over again. So like, oh my god,
the agony. So to me that whole day, those twelve
hours were rough. That's the roughest part because when I
got there that morning and I'm hungry though, I'm in

(13:36):
the room and you know, I got one of those wise,
wise guy doctors.

Speaker 4 (13:41):
They love cracking jokes.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
This guy is a mile a minute, and you know
I love that, you know, like the humor.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
It settles me down a little bit at times.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, but my guy, when I did it, my guy
was also a jokes there. He goes, uh, you know,
you got to stand at attention when you come into
my office, said, is it? He goes, because they call
me the rear admiral.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
Well, this guy had a few jokes, like when I
was in the gown, I was in the gown and
I was I was on the table in the gown
facing on my side facing the anesthesiologist right and then
and then the doctor was behind me, sitting down with
with the with the robe opening the back, you know,
and he goes, all right, perfect, you put your pants

(14:22):
on the shelf right next to mine, and uh, all right.

Speaker 4 (14:28):
He did like a lot of those jokes.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Right, and I couldn't remember me the maasoline place right
exactly exactly.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
He goes, so what do you so? All right?

Speaker 3 (14:37):
You get the As soon as they put the needle
in me for the anesthesia, he starts saying stuff like, uh,
all right, so uh you're here for the lobotomy or
you know, like you.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Know, one of these he's at the right end for
that for you.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Yeah, he's like, so what are we doing here?

Speaker 3 (14:52):
We're uh, we're doing a heart transplant, right, okay, perfect,
you know, like you know, the stupid things like that.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
I appreciated the human I was like, Ohio, he was
the best. He's the best.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
But the crazy part of it all is.

Speaker 3 (15:08):
As I'm like, you know, I'm laughing at his jokes,
I just turn around and right then and there I
turn around. I'm like, so are we gonna start or what?
And the doctor was gone. The anesthesiologist was gone and said.
The nurse was like, uh, it's done. It's like it's
not even like you fall asleep or you you don't

(15:29):
even have the presence of mind. You don't even have
a gap in your mind that says, oh, by the way,
you've been blacked out all these hours.

Speaker 4 (15:37):
No.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
It basically it was like a jump cut. It was
like a jump cut in life. Like it's those like
I'm talking, yes, I believe.

Speaker 2 (15:45):
You in the same spot though you want in a
recovery room. You're making ass jokes. No, you're making ass jokes.
And uh.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
I turn around and I'm like, are we going to
start this or what? Like it literally goes right to
that and she's like, yeah, we're done. I'm like what.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
I'm like, well, I didn't even go to I didn't
even go to sleep yet.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
She goes, I said, how long was the procedure. She's like,
twenty five minutes. W's it twenty five minutes? So she goes, yeah,
get dressed. The doctor is going to talk to you
and you'll be out of here. So I got dressed.
It was really I didn't feel a thing. I was,
you know, coming out slowly of the you know, of
the of the State and I was I was like, okay, yeah,

(16:25):
I feel a little groggy. Okay, my buddy's coming to
pick me up.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
I'm putting my clothes on and I go back and
I go to sit down in the in the chair,
and the doctors like uh. Sits down and he has
a printed a bunch of pictures of Mike Colon.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
And he said to me.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Hey, so you didn't put those on Instagram. No, he
said to me, so what so let me ask you this.
You're fifty. I'm like, yeah, because what took you so
long to come here? I said, well, it's fifty right.
He goes, Nah, he goes, forty five is the new fifty. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
And if I may be serious for a second.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
He said to me, Well, I'm glad you came in today.
He goes, because if you would have waited another two
or three years, we would have been having a different
conversation right now.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
I had a polyp. I had a fifteen millimeter polyp.

Speaker 4 (17:16):
It was big. And he goes, look and it was
only one. It was only one.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
A lot, I know, I understand a lot of people
have some people have a lot of them. I said,
oh my god. Well, and I start freaking out. He goes, dude,
don't freak out.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
He goes, it's, uh, you know, I could tell it's benign,
and I mean, obviously they'll buyops it anyway, right, but
he says, uh, you.

Speaker 4 (17:38):
Know, I says it's large.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
He goes, it's you know, it's it's it's a it's
maybe it's it's average to maybe a little above average,
he goes. He goes, I've seen some really big polyps.
He goes, but uh, yeah, he says, that can become cancer,
you know, if it's left untreated, good in a couple
of years. So I'm glad you came in. We took
care of it. It's gone. They take care of it

(18:02):
right then and there. While they're in there, and I
didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything. Just snip it off.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
He burned it off.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
Whatever he did.

Speaker 3 (18:08):
I don't know whatever he did, but yeah, twenty five
minutes later, I was out.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
But he hammered it off with his penis, but yeah,
he was. He wore it out.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
They found a polyp and it does run in my family.
My dad, my sister had a tiny one. So well,
you know, so he says, Look, he goes, you know
the worst part of this is you're not on the
ten year plan. He goes, I'll see you in three years.
So basically I have to go back for kolonoscary every
three years.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
But that's it.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
And you know, it is Men's Health Awareness Month, but
it's everyone's health awareness month. But yeah, if you're forty five,
apparently forty five is the new fifty, as.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
Long as you're sure.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
The first thing you ate.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Well, I went to Caggianos and I got myself a
big chicken cutlet hero with roasted peppers and egg planted balsamic.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
It was so good. I had to mention the deli
in your local neighborhood that you went to Cagiano's in
Jersey City. Baby, not a sponsor, and I paid retail anyway, Okay,
so not after they hear this clip. So so yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (19:04):
Mean, uh, I was kind of it was, you know,
it was it was very eye opening. You know, I'm like,
don't fuck around, man, just go just do it. Do
take care of your business. Everyone should get checked. Don't
be afraid. I'm the world's biggest scaredy cat. And I
gotta say it was didn't it the day of the procedure.

(19:25):
It was nothing.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
It was in and out.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
You didn't feel it.

Speaker 3 (19:28):
I had a great I felt well rested when I
woke up from this anaesthesia. I told you it was
a jump cut. It didn't even realize they did it.
But it was over ticking sound coming from your ass.
Because then the doctor lost his watch. Hio, no, but
then you know, but but uh yeah, I will say
the worst part of it was the prep day. But
I say, do, if you have a chance, do the
twenty four tablets with the water much better than whatever

(19:50):
that crap is that you drank.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
Oh. I had to keep like scoop and miralecs into it,
into gatorade, and and uh it was just awful. I
would put like four scoops and it was like two
more scoops, please write six scoops. Whatever it was. Yeah,
and you had it, Yeah, I just had it. It was
just guzzling. And you like drink and drink and drink,
and you're like, I have no room to drink morena. Well,
you know, it's just a it's listen. It's an important

(20:14):
thing to do. It's just not a great process.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
I'm glad they found a better way because I was
all about that. I'll do that again next time too.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
But about that base yeah, but like yeah, I was like,
can't spell base without ass I oh.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Well yeah, so yeah, but it was it was nice.
It was it was painless, thank god, and they found
what they needed to.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
They took it out. Of course it's painless. You're asleep.

Speaker 3 (20:35):
Yeah, well right, but anyway, so slices, what about don't.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
Even Jory duty even better? So to come back after
the break? Oh really yeah, don't tell us now because
I want I want to I want to think about
my questions during a commercial break.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
I feel like this is like a thought.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
I thought you you were going to use the colon oscarby.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Is a way to get out of durry. You want me
to tickle your balls with a feather, I'll do that. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
It's a year and Brody, I I honestly thought you
were going on a commercial led so I was just
giving you the I was giving the old lob served.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
No, I was no, you want the tea.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
That was the teas so now the tea's now now
the please no uh no, Jerry Duty.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
It was hysterical because why are you sitting in.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
The dark, by the way, Uh am.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
I in the dark. It looks light by me.

Speaker 2 (21:27):
Well look at your screen. You're in complete thought. Hold on,
hold on, hold on. Uh hey, Siri, turn on the
living room lights. Fuck you, thank you. You should have told
me that before I went in your apartment. All you
had to tell her just tell her what to do.
She'll turn on the lights for you. Now that I'm
used to the Alexo environment, So or Google not serious.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
Both of them work. They both answer to you.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
They both by the way, speaking of Siri, Apple as
a company has a pair of bulls. They they fucking
assumed that they own you. I'll tell you why. And
I know you're going to say they are. They have record.
So my credit card expired and I didn't realize that
the credit card I used for my Apple TV expired.

(22:11):
So when I sat down and watch Apple TV last night,
because I'm scared. You don't watch Shrinking, but slices Shrinking
is one of the best shows on television on you
know whatever you want to call it out right now,
it's fantastic. Anyway, So it says your card has expired.
Please sign up to reregister your your monthly charge. So
I you know, I scanned the QR code on my phone,

(22:33):
which is an Android and it's it says, and to
the the we're going to text you a number to
your other Apple device. We're gonna send uh, You're going
to send you the code to other Apple device. Now
every other company in the world just sends you a
text message, right, Oh, here's a text that could you
know get We'll send you a six digit code and

(22:53):
any text message. So they won't text me. They have
to send it to my old iPad that I don't
use anymore because they know I have one, or they
assume I have one. So they say, we're going to
send the code to your another one of your Apple
can just change that like where they sell it, doesn't
ask me it's the it's the Apple app on my

(23:16):
Samsung television. It's built in. There's no option where to
send it. It just says like, Oh, you better fucking
have an Apple device because we're not texting your ass.
You have an Android phone, Go fuck yourself.

Speaker 3 (23:28):
It's got to be another option for Android users. So
I to go and get my old my old.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
iPad that I don't use, and turn it on make
sure you know I plug it in and get the
code off that.

Speaker 4 (23:38):
What if you didn't have it at with that old iPad, then.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Well, I don't know. I guess they assume everyone on
the planets as an Apple product. I've been listen. I
log in with my Apple password Apple ID, but they
don't know for a fact that I didn't sell my iPad.
I assume unless they're monitoring me somehow. I haven't used
the iPad in a long time because I have I
have a giant size Android tablet, a munch bigger tablet

(24:02):
now than the iPad, so I use my tablet. But
it was just weird, like, oh, you want to watch
Apple TV, homie, you better have an Apple product of
some kind. It's like I had, I checked my iPod
touch in my drawer. I'm like, oh, let me see
if that'll fire up.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Sunday, they sent me an email, Hey, by the way,
your jury duty is going to be over zoom no
whatever it is. So I'm like, great, don't report to
the courthouse, just come on zoom. And then I wake
up Monday morning to an email in the inbox thank
you for serving your jury duty.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Your service is down completed. So for whatever reason. But
you're inbox this week. I didn't even have to show
up on zoom. I'm like, oh great, I'm going back
to bed. Good night. Yeah, you're in box. You had
a little work done in your outbox yesterday.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
It's like, yeah, wow, yeah, so jury duty was a
non Uh you didn't have.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
To serve jury jury duty and we're not going to
discuss anything specific, but you voted this week.

Speaker 4 (25:02):
I did vote.

Speaker 2 (25:03):
You did your civic duty as an American. Good for you.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
I'm so excited to vote.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
When I when I first met Scary, he would not
he's I'm voting. I'm gonna find my I'm gonna write
a registry for Jerry duty.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
I'm like, that's not going in the booth to vote
forgot how I needed I needed assistance. I didn't know
that you had to put this fell this paper thing
and the thing slides up and then it doesn't. It
doesn't capture your your choices until uh you press the
buttons on the screen and then you go through the
menu and then it says print and cast and it

(25:33):
goes and then the paper flies up the thing and
it's crazy, that's not what I did.

Speaker 2 (25:39):
It's a paper. It's a physical paper ballot where I
where I lived before we sold the house where we lived.
You had to like turn little like knobs like they
were like yes they want knobs. They were pointy things,
old school yes. Clicked them down to vote right yes,
And then you have to pull the lever in want
to register. And when you close the curtain, that was

(26:02):
like locking it in, like you're in now you're ready
to go and reset everything and you're in. Then then
they had a print out. We had to put it
in a machine face down and it would scan it right.
Uh huh, Well this year in my new town, you
have to take a pen it's a marker and fill
in the circles and make sure the circles are completely

(26:23):
filled in. Fill in this every circle I had to
fill in right. Then you walk over to this thing
looks like a copying machine, but it's not a copying machine,
and you know you normally like put it in the
slot and it sucks it in. Well, because the guy
running the machine doesn't want to see who you voted for.
He's not supposed to see. They put a giant flap
like they taped a Manila folder to the top of
the machine, so you have to stick your paper under

(26:46):
the Manila folder. I kept hitting the folder because the
folder was hanging down, like it's not going in. So
he's like, well, I don't want to see what you
voted for. I go, I'll tell you what I voted for.
I don't care. So it was a process. But I
have never filled out paper, fill in the circle balance before.
I've always had machines. Even in Brooklyn, we had machines
that was well, that's what I'm thinking of the old
clunky machines. They looked like oversized slot machines. With the

(27:08):
point is I'm like, I'm ready to vote, Come on, baby,
black numbers.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
But I feel I always felt like voting in Brooklyn,
my vote meant more because I'm.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Like, yeah, I'm gonna pull the lever, right, that's a
real vote I have. Oh, I have voted here, ye
here ye.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
Whereas now it's just like it's like taking money out
of an ATM and I'm like, ah, well did I vote?

Speaker 2 (27:29):
And I was taking an s A t oh.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
See what again? Mine was different than yours? So all good?
All good either yeah, and it's all votes.

Speaker 4 (27:37):
I loved it.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
It's all votes. So anyway.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
So yeah, so that was it. That was a trip.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
And I gotta tell you about Oh guy, it's you.
I just want to stay. On Instagram, I posted something.
It was a joke.

Speaker 4 (27:51):
I made a joke.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
It was about a hat, and it was involved political people.
But it was a joke about a hat. I'm not
gonna get into the joke, but I put it on Twitter.
Ever on Twitter loved it again, and I even wrote
it at the end it's just a joke.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
You can just tell the joke because it's funny, and
the slices will get it.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
And it's not about it.

Speaker 3 (28:09):
It's not political. It's more about it's about right, right, Okay,
let me Okay. So then I was like, oh, everyone
on in and on Twitter love the joke. I'm like,
they get that it's a joke. So I screenshot at
it and I put it up on Instagram. Yeah, bad news,
different different audience.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
First of all, I've never gotten so many interactions or engagement.
It's the biggest thing I've ever posted. I think I
would say ninety two percent of people loved it, and
and then some people and I may I even described it.
I said in the description, this is not political commentary.

(28:46):
It doesn't reflect who I voted for. I'm a comedy writer.
It's just a joke, just a joke, because that's what
you do. You watch late night TV. They make jokes. Yeah,
they make jokes about both sides. They make jokes. That's it.
I'm on some sides more than others, you know, some sides.
Some sides are funnier than others. Some sides are you know,
I tell you okay. So there was also some people

(29:07):
that wrote, Hey, you know what, I don't agree with
you politically brody, but that's fucking funny. That's funny. It
was fun And then there were some people who took
it very seriously and said awful things to me and
unfollow button.

Speaker 4 (29:22):
Unfollow button. Those people need to get come on, listen.

Speaker 2 (29:25):
Whichever side of the political spectrum you're on, God bless you,
God bless you. You're an American. You get to vote,
You get to So they tell the joke. Now keep
in mind, the joke is just supposed to be funny
about merchandise. That's it. So I said, wouldn't it be
funny if President Biden stepped down In the next month,
made Kamala Harris the forty seventh president, the first female president.

(29:49):
She'd get a statue in the Disney in Disneyland's Hall
of Presidents, and as as it would be, you know,
it would be funny. It would screw up all the
Trump's merchandise, because you everything since forty thirty seven, right,
so forty eight, right, it was a joke about merchandise.
It's a joke about like, oh, like I find I
find that funny. Like if President Biden wanted to stick

(30:10):
a little, a little funny thing on the way out,
like here you go, trumkah. It's not it's not storming
the Capitol. It's not hate. It's just like so I
was like, oh, and I wrote it's a joke. I've
written jokes about both parties. It wasn't about party. It
was just like, wouldn't it be funny if he stepped
down just to fuck up his hats? That was it?
Fuck you? Of course, Well it's very sensitive. Times. I

(30:32):
went dark.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
I went dark on Instagram for the last three days,
well a lot of time. A lot of it was
because I was like out of it, and I was
you know, it was I was in colonoscopy world. But
I I know people who lost followers, you know, in
both directions because him and.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
I hope slice.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
I didn't just lose a slice.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
I'm just you know, no hour slices get it if
you're listening to if you're three hundred and fifteen episodes
deep on this podcast and you said that, and you lose,
we lose a listener for that.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
I don't. I don't think that we can. I tell
you people that said they were on following me. I
checked them. None of them followed the Brooklyn Boys, So
they're probably they're they're morning show people, but they're not
Brooklyn Boys people.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Right yeah, because Brooklyn Boys people get us.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
So yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
But but you know I have friends, uh yeah, Jetski
Bryan for instance, Uh you know his his his instagram
is a His instagram is a brand. He's he doesn't
have one a personal one. And I see jet Ski
it's just like a brand, right And and he posted

(31:37):
something on Wednesday morning and like and and I'm like,
what are you.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Fucking doing, dude? Are you gonna lose half half?

Speaker 3 (31:47):
I mean, this is a most you're known for, Like
jet skis around the you know, around the Statue of Liberty.
I'm like, why would you even risk anyone on following you?
He goes, yeah, I got him, man, it was an
e smart idea. Lest about maybe twenty five followers there,
you know, like.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Don't yeah, it's it's time to be careful.

Speaker 4 (32:07):
You tell you're a brand, You're a brand.

Speaker 2 (32:08):
Don't do that blocking going on on Facebook. Like a
lot of my friends and people are like, oh, I
had a block out of block four today, at a
block six today. Let's not you know, let's not be uh,
let's let's let's all get along.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
I also have a I have two friend threads I
have I have I have I have a friend thread
that sits on one side of the isle out of
a friend's thread that sits on the other side of
the Now I'm in both groups along with one another.
One of the people, well, someone from one group, column A,
didn't send the meme to the column A people because

(32:46):
because that those people would find it funny, it said,
they sent it to the column B people, pissing off.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
The wrong group of people.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
I'm like, what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (32:55):
I literally have two groups of friends with two of
you know, so so I know that the humor to
leave in group one and then not to use that humor.
In group two, this person didn't know what they were texting.

Speaker 4 (33:11):
They must have accidentally hit.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
It's like oops, so yeah, so they pissed a bunch
of people in the other group off.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Ah my god. It's interesting in the way people are
handling it. And again we're not talking politics. There's there's
a house that I pass all the time on my
way to pick a ball, and I noticed the past
couple of weeks they you know, they clearly are for
they were Trump supporters, it's fine, whatever, And they had
an inflatable Trump giving a thumbs up, but it was

(33:40):
on there. It was like by their porch. And then Wednesday,
on my way to pick a ball, it was on
the like at the edge of the road, at the
front of the grass, like facing the oncoming traffic. And
I'm like, they clearly were happy, like so listen, that's fun.
If again, if you don't like the man, it's not fun.
If you do like the man, it's fun. But they

(34:01):
were having fun and nobody get hurt. But they put
it inflatable but the edge of the road, Like I'm
wondering how to be lost if they could have put
it like back in the house you put it away.
I'm not looking to make enemies. I'm not looking to
get people mad at me. I'll tell you what, thanks
Thanksgiving is going to be a bitch for a lot
of people.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Wow, can you imagine Thanksgiving in a few weeks. It's
gonna be It's gonna be and slices. You know this
Thanksgiving has not been the same for eight years. It's
not like you know it may but but but you
know it's still fresh now. This is like if your
whole family is one side of the other.

Speaker 2 (34:37):
Let's say your whole family is column A, then you're
all either going to be upset or if your column
B are all gonna be happy. It's only if you
have some azing bees that you're gonna have some you
know whatever. But listen, it makes it interesting, makes it
interesting as what is so anyway, So one of the
people on Instagram wrote, Hey, Brody, why haven't you done

(34:58):
any phone taps lately? You taps to the best of
something I missed them, to which I had to point
out I said, hey, man, I appreciate that, but I
haven't been on the show in over two years, so
that's why you haven't heard any new phone taps, he said.
So he said, oh, I haven't listened in a few years.
That must be why. I was like, I appreciate that.
Thank you. So I I don't you know, I mean,

(35:20):
I appreciate your fan, but I feel bad that you
didn't know I was not there anymore. But I feel
like they I feel like I feel like iHeart should
be paying me a little bit on on just having
the knowledge that I'm still there, like you know, like
a ten percent retainer fee. Like you know what, some
of the audience still thinks, Brodi's still here. We got
to pay him.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
I got to pay him.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
We gotta pay him. We give, we give him, we
get people still think he's their thing. It's like, you know,
it's funny. I was watching cable news, oh, I don't know,
Wednesday or Thursday last week, and they interviewed someone and
they and the two people they said that they said, I,
we're not voting for Biden, and they go, Biden dropped
out of the race like three months ago.

Speaker 4 (35:58):
He did.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
I mean, they're like, we're not very political people. A
lot of people, a lot of people thought that he
was still in the race. I don't know, I mean,
he probably still thought he was still in the race.
But yeah, I don't know how you don't know that one,
but whatever, you know it's America, man, Yeah, you know whatever.
So the podcast pickle Ball, pickle Boll, Pickaball, I gotta

(36:25):
I gotta give you my pickaball stories. I gotta call
it with a jingle. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
I feel like every week now we have a pattern
developing where you have a pick a ball fight.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Well, yeah, so here's the thing. Pinball Wizard is a
great song, and I was thinking about doing an intro
of pick a Ball Wizard just for like every time
I have a pick a Ball segment. Yep, but one
of one of us slices sent me a great I
would say it's an eighty five quality, maybe ninety A
guy who wrote a full blown pickleball parody about his

(36:54):
father who's an old guy playing pick a ball. It
was pretty funny. So I'm like, I feel like I
can't use it now, but it's still the best song
to use, so I may still use it. So I
twant you to know. I know that other people have
done it, but it's the obvious choice. How could I
not do it? Anyway? I told you about resting bitchface right, yep. Okay,

(37:16):
So we played sometime after you and I recorded our
last episode, and she tried a couple of things with me. First,
she's left handed, Yeah, that's me. We went to play.
I've played with her for months now, and you rotate

(37:37):
every game you wrote to play with somebody else. And
she says to me, I have to serve first. Why
because I'm left handed. That's not a rule. Oh yeah,
all the pros know you have to surf first. Why
because if you serve first, we'll be back to back
and then neither one of us has a forehand right.
And I said, yeah, but because you serve on the right,

(37:58):
so she'd be on the left and we'd be back
to back. And I said, yeah, but when you when
you play pick a ball, after every serve you switch,
you switch. Yeah, so every other serve you're switching. So
it's you you talked about this last week. Yeah. So
so so that she tried that again with me, and
I said the next time I played, like, go, we're

(38:18):
not doing that. I'm serving. I won, I'm staying here,
I'm serving. We're not playing that game. So then later
on in the day I'm playing against her and my
partner hits a ball at her and it's it's head level,
so it's like eye level, and she swings at it

(38:39):
and misses. But you could hear it. Go did I
tell you that story?

Speaker 4 (38:45):
Did I tell you that story?

Speaker 2 (38:46):
No? Okay, so you can hear it. You know that
when you foul tape a baseball, there is that oh right,
yeah you can right you you hear that there was
contact made, right, and then the ball continues past her
racket and goes out. It's too deep, it's it flies out.
It's it's out. So she's about to go oops, I
hit it. You could see she's about to go, yeah,
I hit it, And my partner says, oh, that was out.

(39:08):
She goes, yep, that was out. Wow, she's cheating now,
huh yep. Completely ignores the fact that it was out.
And I told you she's the one who says everything's
in when she's on your team and got away with it. No. No,
I wasn't on her team. I was playing against her.

Speaker 4 (39:22):
Oh did you but you heard it?

Speaker 2 (39:23):
I said, I said, didn't the ball hit your racket? No?
She knew it hit a racket because she made a
face like, oh I hit it. Did you say I
heard it? I heard it. I go, oh, I could have.
You don't want to get into fight, so I said,
oh I thought I heard something. No, huh, okay, okay.
And when it favors her, right, it's right right, Yeah,

(39:45):
I get it. So she clearly had it in for me.
So anyway, after the game ends, I'm playing two guys.
I have a female partner. I'm playing against two guys
and she goes and sits on the bench because she lost.
And I hit a ball right up the middle between
the two guys and it lands deep in the court,
right by the line. The two guys look at each other.

(40:08):
They go, I didn't see it. Did you see it?
I didn't see it, So I say it looked in
from where I'm standing because I hit it. Yeah, I
looked in from the bench. Resting Bitch face says that
was out. I have a better angle, but it was
clearly in to me. It was in. Besides, you're not playing.

(40:28):
Nobody asked you, h so fuck her, so we're pull
Wait a second, so there's no refs here.

Speaker 4 (40:34):
This is like the honor system, like.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yes, his honor system. And the two guys were like, well,
she saw it.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
How do fights not break out every day?

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Well, there was almost a fight yesterday. I played yesterday
sixteen people and a guy hit a ball. They served
it and it landed on the center line. Now, the
center line is good. If it hits the center line,
it's it doesn't have to be in the box as
long as it touches the line. So he served it
and they went. They yelled out, Now I thought it

(41:04):
was touching the line a little bit. He walked up
to the line. He said, excuse me that he was
he that was fucking in. Oh now that's there's a
little more decorum than that normally. So they go. They
were like. The two women were like what He's like, Look,
I don't want to get into an argument here, but
I'm tired of this. Everything that I hit is out.
That was in. So we're gonna play the point And

(41:25):
they were like yeah, okay. And I was behind him.
I was looking like, you know, you put your shoulders
up in your hands. I like, I don't know. He
bullied them, Yeah, he bullied them. I've never never played
with this guy before, but he bullied them anyway. So
that the same day, So that was so the resting
butch face story was earlier in the week. It was

(41:46):
maybe Wednesday of last Thursday or Friday, was Saturday. It
was Saturday on on on Tuesday, we're playing round robin
and I got to meet a new guy who I'll
tell you about. He is Statue Steve. That that's my name,
Statue Steve. Yeah, Statue Steve. Statue Steve takes seven to
nine seconds to serve. So he bends down, he puts

(42:08):
the ball like by his calf muscle, like a little
below his knee. He bends down and he stares at
the ball and he lines it up with his racket
and he does like a take back with his racket
and he goes forward with it. Take Back is right,
you know, like when you're a baseball and you do
like a you swing a little bit, you do a
half swing, swing get ready for the pitch. He's doing that,
he's getting he's warming up, he's getting ready. And then
after like seven or eight seconds, then you're like, seven

(42:29):
or eight seconds isn't a long time? Scary? Let's wait
seven or eight seconds right now? Ready? Oh that's long
it takes that would yeah. So I'm there waiting and
you know you're not looking at your partner. You're looking
ahead to see that where the ball goes. So I'm like,
I keep looking at it, go what's what's taken so
long it takes? And then then you figure, like the

(42:52):
first time he did it, I'm like, this guy's gonna
take a serve and he's gonna nail it. This guy
is like ready for perfection, and then he hits it
like a lob.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
So it's not even all that all right, So it's
not even like he's concentrating.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
He's super focused. He's singed in.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
This guy is like, it's just like, okay, now I'm ready.
You're just gonna lob it over right, So.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
Then what do you need? You don't need seven seconds.
You don't need seven seconds for that, right. So Statue
Steve is my name for him. So anyway, we all rotate.
I play with Statue Steve, then I play against Statue Steve.
At one point I tied my shoelace waited for him
to serve.

Speaker 4 (43:25):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Okay, so then we rotate. I'm going on the so
Statue Steve and I played and we have to go
on to this court. I'm sorry, I'm on the court
and Statue Steve is on the court. We split, right,
we won, We go onto the next court and we split,
because that's how it works. Well, Resting bitch Face comes
on the court and she says, I have to play

(43:48):
with you to Statue Steve because I just played with David. Right. Okay,
So so statue Steve walks over to me and he says,
you have to play with her. I said, I can't
play with her. I just played with her. So he goes,
I'm not playing with her. Wow. He walks out. He
walks out with his racket. He walks off the court,
and she goes, where are you going? He goes, I

(44:09):
refuse to play with you. She says why. He says,
because you're no fun. And it walked off.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
A bunch of sixty year old children in this community.
He didn't want to play with resting bitch face.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
And by the way, neither of them was sixty. So
let's get home, just saying, but well, still they're not
My point is you're I'm exaggerating, of course, but you're
not kids. This is something that you would you'd be.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
Like in high school. I'm not playing with you.

Speaker 2 (44:33):
My point is. I was relieved to see I wasn't
the only one that doesn't enjoy playing with resting bitch face,
even Statue Steve. Because she coaches everybody. Now, oh god,
she coaches people. Yeah, I told you that, she's like,
I shouldn't let that go. It was going out. Nah,
that's the worst. But if you think she's the biggest
batch I talk about on this episode, you're wrong, because
when we come back, I'm going to tell you about

(44:55):
about Kelly. And I don't even have a nickname for Kelly.
Kelly is not her real name, but she's a neighbor
of mine. And wait till I tell you what she's
done to me twice.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
Before you get into your Kelly story.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
Yeah, I got time. I got time Kelly Pickler, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly Pickler. Ball. No.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
So, this, this debate came up on the Morning Show,
and I know I'm not crazy, and I know I'm
not a slob, but I wanted to know.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
Hey, I'm not a slob.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
You can't agree with me on this, all right, all right,
it's somehow the topic. Did anyone on the Morning Show
agree with you?

Speaker 4 (45:33):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (45:34):
Okay, Nate, okay, and Froggy everyone else was like, ew,
but I want to know what you think about this.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
So the two straight guys we were if.

Speaker 3 (45:44):
We're all right, let's say we're hanging out in a
restaurant and we decided to get an app for the table.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
And of course, well, let's decide that you do that
table app comes with a dipping sauce. Okay, a dipping
sauce okay, whatever saw a dip yeah, okay, it's his
finger food.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
So you pick up whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
It could be anything.

Speaker 4 (46:03):
Let's call it a MOZREALI stick.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
If I dip the Mozerel stick in a in the
sauce and I bite it, uh huh, and then I
flip it around, and I can I can I do
a double double sided, double headed dip where I dip
the other side into the sauce and take a second
bite and then I'm done.

Speaker 2 (46:25):
Are you with good friends and family or well people
you don't know? You know very well?

Speaker 3 (46:29):
I always thought that it well, I guess you're with
your friends, because well, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
But but before you say that anything. The morning, she
was like, that's disgusting. That's double dipping. Like, no, that's
not double dipping. That's the dip and flip. That's the
double dip. That's the dip and double, the dip and flip,
dip and flip, it's the dip and flip.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
So why can't you do the dip and flip and
then dip. You can dip and flip and then dip.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
When I go out. What's wrong with my family? When
I got my family, I dip and flip. When I
go out with Jeff, I dip and flip. When I
got my cousin, I dip and flip. If I go
with people that I don't know or like, it's a
group thing, no dip and flip. I'll tell you why.
Because your hand, your dirty hand, is holding the one
end of the uzzerrella stock. Then you bite it, you

(47:16):
put in your mouth. I don't know if you spit
on your fingers when you're eating. I don't know if
you got a spittle coming out. That's what the dipping flip,
that's what some of them said. Liked the dirty hand,
Your dirty hand, juice and your finger now goes into
the mazzerella stick you got, and then you're putting that
in the sauce. You're fingering one end of the stick, right,
you're dipping, you're biting.

Speaker 3 (47:34):
Who knows, I saliva dripped down halfway. But then you
you twist it around and you use it. You you
hold it by the chewed upside. But the problem is
you can't because your finger's already your.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yeah, dirty house. I don't know, But is it really
that bad. It's like if you have a big pretzel, right,
and you take a bite of the pretzel and you
you like, break off another piece and put it in.
That's fine. But the dipping flip depends on who you're with.
If I'm a people I know, and I know they
washed your hands recently, then I'm okay with the dipping flip.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
That's long enough where you could put your fingers in
the middle and then you can go on and then
you don't even move your fingers.

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh you do The sea saw the sea saw dip.
The sea saw dip is okay? Well you go, you go.
Let let's tell you tooke a yeah, a vegetable spring roll,
A nice little thing. I can't imagine that cigrette. Who well,
a spring roll a sauce and then then then tilted
the other way. The sea saw dip that But you

(48:33):
can't bite it in between the dip. No, no biting,
no biting, even if your fingers haven't moved from it. No,
here's what you do. You want an extra sauce for
the table, you pull it on your plate and you
dip it that way. That's what people are saying you
have to do.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
But then I like I like it when it's in
a puddle, I don't it would a plate.

Speaker 4 (48:50):
It just falls across the plate.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Next, I always order Montrell Sticks extra sauce. That's my
die coq no ice, Motrel Sticks extra sauce always because
if I have ounce at the table, let them get
their sauce. I get my sauce. Then I don't care
what they do. You can't then then dip, double dip,
triple dip, dip and flip. I don't care. Seesaw dip whatever,
mush dip. When you mush it in and speak bush

(49:13):
it around the bottom, then we want mush dip, mush
dip to your hearts content. I don't want your grubby
fingers dip it in my sauce. But if it was,
it was, it was my family. Yea. But if it's
chips nachos, you only get one shot there on the
nacho and you try to get in the corners. Well,

(49:33):
that's why you do a two corner dip. No, you can't,
it's too small. You do the flat side. You dip
the flat side and get two corners. Okay, yes, so
they get your maximum surface area right. Then you let
it drip down. You hold it up and you drip
it down to the corner at the bottom. You you

(49:53):
if you go corner first when you dip, you're only
get a third of the chip. You go flat side first,
you get two corners.

Speaker 3 (49:59):
If I'm if it's squawk, I try and put an
incredibly large amount of guac on the chip so I
don't have to go back for more.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
Yeah, but guak is thicking off. You could take a
spoon and just spoon some guacaut that's right, and then
I could just eat out of my plate. I don't
know what you what are you? Twelve?

Speaker 4 (50:13):
I gotta give you less so many rules.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
I just didn't know. I people gross. If restaurants served scoops.
You know that the chips the scoops for tostito scoops.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
Oh yeah, they're just going once they're shaped for max
maximum salsa.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
The only problem with the scoops is sometimes you scoop
too much. Then you got to like put another scoop
under it and double it up like in chests, like
in checkers. When you double up and you king somebody right,
you gotta like stack them right, or you gotta like
take it out of the chip real quick and shove
it in your mouth to eat it out because you're
over you, over you, over scooped. I don't, I don't.
I don't like over scooping. Then it throws the ratio off,
it really does. Anyway, what are we talking about? I'm sorry, Oh,

(50:50):
I don't know. You know what I thought. I bought
the Tostitos Cantena chips thins in the yellow bag, which
I love. I love with my crab dip from Bjay's
that that they're discant anyway, but they haven't discontinued yet,
and I go to BJ's every week and I get
like two or three more, so I always have like
three in the fridge so that if they ever cancel it,
like they threatened to, I've got a few left. The
problem is the crab dip is so thick that when

(51:12):
you put the chip in it. It just snaps off.
That's the worst I need to I don't like a
flimsy chip. I need the chip to stand up to hummus,
to gualk to salsa, to crab, to all of it.
Right now, I got some chicken salad. I have a
chicken salad.

Speaker 4 (51:29):
I got. I got a sturdy ass fucking chip for
that thing.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Man, it is so great, god it you know, it
works like a charm ritz crackers.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Rich doesn't break. They break, but not like you can
go through chopped liver with it. You can scoop chop liver.
You can scoop the crab. Got this chicken salad I have.
I got this chicken salad. Rich just pay eighty five
dollars for chicken salad. No, I got into Cagianos. I
didn't ask, and nobody cares. Living in Oklahoma, they don't care.
I got it from Cagianos. The specially stop it.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
You know, they give you free. They do homemade chicken salad.
It's so freaking good.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
How is it homemade If it's a restaurant, it's not
a restaurant, it's a deli. But it's homemade, then it
can't be homemade. It's made in house.

Speaker 2 (52:11):
But it's not a home. It's housemade. Same thing. Don't
call it homemade. It's restaurant made. Like all fit.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
It's not a restaurant, it's a deli. It's housemade. Then
it's it's deli made.

Speaker 2 (52:20):
But no matter. But it was made in house. It
was not. It was not packaged and made in a
factory and shipped and processed.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
It was made with love in house.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
Okay, with love. The guy in the back's got he's
got like a hairy arms and tattoos on his finger
with glove, with gloves, okay, with gloves and with love.
Guy in the back is not loving anything. He hates
his job. He's like a fucking batch of chicken salad.
I hate my job.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
They better use gloves and you don't know if they
are or not anyway, you know, I don't like when
my chips.

Speaker 2 (52:56):
Like, is this all less break? By the way, Yeah,
this is it. But you have a scamboni. You have
a scambone before? Oh I got scambonius. Yeah, I got
the scambony jingle ready right here. Then I got a
sound clip too, say.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
Alright, broty, So.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
I sold something on Facebook and it sold. It was
a Halloween costume and it sold. Halloween was wet Thursday?
Was it used?

Speaker 1 (53:25):
No?

Speaker 2 (53:26):
No, it's what we used to get free Halloween costumes
at work. Remember, And you never wore it. No, I
never wore it. No skid marks, no skid marks. Now
they don't give you underwear as a Halloween costume. Anyway,
I was cleaning out my garage. I'm like, oh, I'll
sell this Halloween costume. I had a Walking Dead Halloween
costume from god knows how long ago, and I had
this other other costume. So I put it up and

(53:48):
it didn't sell for Halloween, and then all of a sudden,
I get a bid on Thursday, and the auction ended.
Somebody bought it and won. So I'm like, maybe they
have a Halloween party this weekend. Maybe they just they
just like this particular character. I don't know. So Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday,
I don't get paid and I message to person and

(54:09):
I said, now he has one hundred percent positive feedback,
thirty eight purchases. And I'm like, hey man, I'm going
to the post office Monday, meaning like five days ago.
This was Sunday. I go you're gonna be paying me
on Monday because it's well, I'll wait and I'll bring
all the boxes together. Nothing. I messaged him again, Hey,
if you still want it, let me know. Now, in
the old days on eBay, if someone didn't pay you,

(54:31):
you could follow a complaint against them and put up
a negative comment. But now, if they don't pay you,
you just cancel the transaction. There is no ramifications. Oh really,
when did they change that? I don't know. A couple
of years ago. So I messaged him again. I don't
hear anything. Then this morning I get this message. Scary,
he writes, sorry about the inconvenience. I had some fraudulent

(54:53):
charges on my card and I'm awaiting a replacement. Now,
let me tell you how things work in life. Scary
purchases on eBay to my knowledge, and you don't have
to correct me if I'm wrong. But you go through PayPal, right,
and PayPal is backed up by a bank account. You

(55:13):
don't normally pay with a credit card. But let's just
say there is a way to pay with a credit card.
It's not really important to the story. He didn't respond
to me for six days, right, he could have told me, Hey,
you know I need a couple extra days whatever. I've
gotten this exact same bullshit story from other people that
didn't pay on eBay. The old I had fraudulent charges.

(55:34):
That're sending me a new card ridiculous. First of all,
So I wrote back to the guy and I said,
so you couldn't respond to me for six days, and
in your entire world, you have one credit card and
that's the one with the fraudulent charges. I said, isn't
your PayPal tied to your eBay account like almost everybody else's.

(55:54):
He didn't respond. I knew it was a scam.

Speaker 4 (55:57):
Well, how later?

Speaker 2 (55:58):
What was he trying to do? Though? I haven't figured
that part out yet. Either he wants me, oh you
know what it is that he would Probably the next
thing he would do is tell me he can't go
through eBay? Can he vendo me the money? Can I
can he get my phone number to confirm my eBay
or something? He there'd be some reason why he couldn't
pay me through eBay, and he wants to do it private.

(56:21):
There'd be some scam guaranteed, was the next step. An
hour later, I get an email from eBay saying we
removed the conversation and have banned your buyer from eBay
for fraudulent use of eBay? And how did they find
his suspicious activity? Reported him because they have like their
system monitors the chats. Did you must be doing this

(56:41):
with other people? Did you report him? No, there's no
way to report him. Wow, all right, score one for
the for the gipper. Yeah, so eBay caught the scammer
that I clearly flagged. But they're fucking oh yeah, my
one credit card. Now look, I know people have one
credit card, but your bank account has to back up
your purchases on eBay. That's how they keep this system. Sure,

(57:04):
So then I want to read to you. You get
those scam test text every once in a while.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
Oh god, dude, I just got another one while we're
doing the podcast.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Why don't you read yours first and I'll read mine.
You're talking about when they come to your phone, just
random scam scam texts. No, I'm talking about the text
messages that come to your microwave. Your dumbass.

Speaker 4 (57:23):
You're an asshole.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
You really are, douche bag. I gotta let's fill the
unknown senders here.

Speaker 4 (57:28):
This one, this one just came in.

Speaker 3 (57:30):
Okay, since we haven't seen each other for a long time?
Would it be would it be nice if we go
golfing on weekend?

Speaker 2 (57:39):
On weekend?

Speaker 3 (57:40):
Because yeah, that's first off, But secondly, they know me
so well, they know I'm such a huge golfer.

Speaker 2 (57:47):
Right. Remember you could tell you if you know somebody
from the text message We talked about that.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
How about this one?

Speaker 2 (57:52):
Hello?

Speaker 4 (57:53):
I am Kelly.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
Are you interested in remote jobs? Can I provide you
with more details? Oh? That's nice of her? Yeah, fuck you.

Speaker 4 (58:00):
I'm not answering you. I mean, what do you want
from me?

Speaker 3 (58:03):
One?

Speaker 1 (58:04):
One?

Speaker 4 (58:05):
Dude?

Speaker 2 (58:05):
I have hundreds and I saved them all. They come
in non stop. Yeah, read me one, go ahead, I
got some more. Hello. I'm hr Dash Assistant Isabella from
Wilson Group. Oh, Wilson Group, I am contacting you for
a job offer. Can I briefly share the job details here?

Speaker 4 (58:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (58:23):
That's what I want? Yeah, Wilson, thank you. Hello. I'm
Grace from corn Faery Personnel. No such company. Are you
interested in a remote position role? A remote position role
not redundant? Yeh? May I share some brief details?

Speaker 4 (58:37):
Of course?

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Yeah, here's one I would like to know if we
met before. Question Mark, I have been saved this number
in my contact for a long time perfectly, so you
just decided to just reach out to me. Huh right, Hey,
how's everything, question Mark? My name is Arianna from Lantaria HR.
We are recruiting online digital marketing specialists. AII you need

(59:03):
is a mobile device, so I guess they typed all, rah,
Aii you need is a mobile device to get started?

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Yeah, P I E A S E please with an
I PI P E S reply. The I is the
L is an I the capitol I for more details,
The L is an I.

Speaker 4 (59:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
I love that. Hey, Eric coached seven eighty six. I'm like, oh,
someone from Miami my long lost friend. Right, Hello, how
are you doing today? Question Mark? This is Sunday morning
at ten nineteen am. Oh how are you doing?

Speaker 3 (59:36):
Oh well, I didn't answer that. Well, they doubled down.
They waited till seven thirty six pm and that same
night and wrote are you busy or ignoring my text?

Speaker 2 (59:45):
So they actually they actually decided to coin again to
see if maybe maybe I'm feeling like I should you
know that maybe I'll respond the second time. Right here,
I got an email from spot This from Spotify to
apartment I don't know if I share this one. You
have one ann bowse quiet Comfort, one word quiet Comfort

(01:00:07):
wireless earbuds. You have won a n Bow's quite right
from the Spotify department and the email address is cemetery
w dozz q e c s s L t h
c O c x vbf at tuscins r L dot com.
Sound sounds legitimate, very legit.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
How about this. I'm thinking about visiting you next weekend.
Are you still at your place? Would be great to
see you airy code eight five seven. Have no clue
how that is. That's not a person. Hold on, I'll
keep going, keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
You are okay? Howdy? I am Vivian from Paralon. We
have a work from home opportunity. Would you like to
know more details? Let me tell you something. You could
say whatever you want about politics, but boy, the economy
is booming scary. There are jobs coming into my phone
left and right, of course, so you got you got

(01:01:02):
the jobs. I get people asking crazy, crazy random texts
that I'm like, well, uh like this one here.

Speaker 4 (01:01:12):
Some of them come with pictures, by the way, They're like, by.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
The way, slices. If you have a couple of really
funny ones that you've gotten that you saved. Yeah, tell
us on Slice time. Go to the radio app, hit
the microphone button, leave us a talk back, and we'll
play it on the next Slicetime episode.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Yeah, a couple more. How about this one here? Keep
it Hay three.

Speaker 3 (01:01:32):
By the way, if you have like hey, oh yeah,
first of all, hey, did you see my message? That's
one out of nowhere, But there's nothing there that that
was a silly one. Oh oh, here's this one. Hi, Jessica.
I'll be arriving at the airport tomorrow. I hope you
can pick me up on time. Here's a photo of
me and then they take it. Look here, look did
they send a picture.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Now she's cute. I would pick her up at the
airport if. I love how they assume my name is Jessica.
I think just like totally, like, like, are they like
rolling the dice on this hoping that my name is Jessica,
your name is Jessica? They? I mean, if they nail it,
they Jessica, You're like, oh they must know I am.

Speaker 4 (01:02:08):
Here's one. Hi, Comma, what.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
Are you busy with? Hello? I'm Scarlet from Emergent. By
the way, this is all in a weird font like
not my phone font. Hello, I'm Scarlet from Emergent Staffing Recruitment.
May I send you the job description? Please? Yeah? Now,
if I applied for the job, wouldn't I know the
job description?

Speaker 4 (01:02:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Exactly, Michael Michael from Tidewater Mortgage. Here click s l
k t X t IO eleven LW six slash one
O four seven four nine sixty six oh nine. Let's
discuss how a cash out option.

Speaker 4 (01:02:45):
Can work for you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
So you're getting all you're getting all that stuff. I'm
getting more personal things like, hey, how are you doing recently?
Is it going well?

Speaker 4 (01:02:54):
I don't know you long time?

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
No, see where have you been lately? How was your one?

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
How is your day? Are you coming to the charity
party tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:03:05):
How about that one? Huh?

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
They did party? But you know, here's the funny thing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:09):
This was sent to me on a day where I
think I was going to a charity event, so it
was I was thrown.

Speaker 4 (01:03:14):
For a loop. But then I'm like, this isn't somebody
I know. No, I'm not answering you.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
A lot of high How are you doing today's?

Speaker 4 (01:03:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
So anyway, all right, all I got. I'd go on forever.
By the way, Brody, I'm looking for the one about
my car. Hold on a second.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
Hello, my friend, longtime no see? How are you doing?
How are you a lot of Hello?

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
How are you today's friend? Oh? Here it is from
Central Avenue Nissan. I don't know where in Yonkers, New York. No,
I don't live anywhere near Youngers. Hello, six dough, six dough.
Our records indicate that your two thousand and seven Nissan
Pathfinder may be overdue for its recommended service two thousand
and seven.

Speaker 4 (01:03:57):
I'll say yeah, I'll say it's due for service teen years.

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
Actually eighteen is probably built in six Yeah, so it's
not really spam. But if you know anyone at Central
Avenue Nissan, let them know that six though. Yeah, did
not get your message. Hey, long time no see. How
is your new jobs?

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
I haven't contacted you for a long time. How have
you been recently? I want to take a picture while
sitting in a cafe today. Do you have time, you know,
go meet him in a cafe? Sorry to bother you.

Speaker 2 (01:04:39):
I have this number in my contact list, so I
texted to find out who's this? Can you tell me? Yeah,
give me your solid security number. So I can make
sure that it's really you give me one more and
then we're gonna move on. We'll save Wolf next week.
That's all I got for now. Oh okay, wow, And
you know that they must work on somebody, because they're

(01:05:01):
still doing.

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
It, right, They just they're just send them out thousands
and thousands and thousands of these and there are some
people that fall from the scam, which is really really sad.

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Yeah, all right, so let me tell you about my
neighbor June. In June, I've only been living here a
couple we've only been living here a couple of months, right,
So in June, I'm out of my balcony and this
woman comes by with two dogs, very friendly. Oh how
are you? You must be the one of the new neighbors.
I haven't met you or your family whatever. And I

(01:05:31):
was only one home. It was the afternoon, no one
was home, and she's, oh, I was friends with the
guy who lived here before you, and hey, blah blah blah,
ch chit chat, chit chet chit chat. Now you know
scary that I sort of have three dogs. I have
the two dogs, the family dogs, and my daughter's dog,
uh lived lives with us. Because for a long time

(01:05:52):
she couldn't. She was away in Europe, and then she
had an apartment that couldn't take pets, and then she's
going for a master's degree and she's working of course,
so so you know, they'd be like, you know, one
or two weeks a month where I would have him.
So the three dogs come running out on the on
the deck, and she goes, oh, look, how cute. Oh
you have three dogs. Now I may have told you
this story. Did I tell a story about the three dogs,

(01:06:14):
because that's not really why my story is today, right, okay,
well for another time. Well okay, but so anyway, No,
it's important to the story. You're not supposed to have
three dogs, I said, just you only allow two dogs
here in this community. So I said, well, I only
have two dogs. The other dogs here is well, you
can't have visiting dogs either. I said, well, you know what,

(01:06:34):
I already cleared it with management. So I'm good, I'm good,
It's all good. Wow, I'd like a third dog. I'm
sure a lot of people like a third dog. But okay, wow, okay, fine.
A few days later, I see her, she's across the street.
I go, hey, Kelly, and she kind of turns her
head and keeps walking like she didn't hear me. Oh,
and that was weird. The day after that, three days later,
after our conversation, an email goes out and says, hey,

(01:06:56):
it's from from corporate. Hey, it's spring cleaning time and
we're just checking in all our furry friends and we
want to get an update, just a reminder our annual
spring cleaning checkup. We want to buy supplies for the
dog park. We wanted how many dogs are living in
the community, So just fill out the form. Let us
know how many dogs you have and what breeds they are.

(01:07:18):
There's a trap, I feel it. So I walk into
the to the office and I go, hey, listen, guy
in the office, did Kelly come in here and complain
that I had three dogs? Because an email goes out
a few days after she complains, and all of a sudden,
you're like, oh, we're doing a check on how many
dogs you have. No, no, no, we always do that.
Don't wry about. It's fine because we know you have
two dogs and the one dog is there occasionally. It's fine.

(01:07:40):
It's fine, we know you. We haven't cleared they're all
small dogs. Were fine, great, okay, great, all right, So
now you know I moved from a five bedroom house
to the townhouse. Huh. So my wife and I were
three kids. We had a lot of stuff. We had
stuff in the garage, we had stuff in the attic,
we had stuff in the basement. We had a lot
of stuff. And when we sold the house, we hadn't
really gone through everything yet because we got it offer

(01:08:01):
on the house pretty quickly. So we moved everything. So
my garage. I found a townhouse with an oversized garage.
So I don't park the car in the garage, right,
I parked the car in the driveway. Yeah, and we
have a second we have a second spot. We have
two spots, and we have the and I don't need
to pull the car into the driveway. So the garage

(01:08:23):
is full of stuff from my house and I'm due
giving stuff to charity. I'm selling stuff on Facebook, which
gives me content for this podcast. So it's great. So
I'm home one afternoon and i'm I'm cleaning out the
garage and i'm i'm i'm the garage doors open, and
Kelly walks by with her dogs and she says, oh,
you got a lot of crap like but not in

(01:08:46):
a fun way. I said, well, that's my life. My
wife and I have a lot of stuff. We had
a five bedroom house and you know, oh yeah. She said,
you're not going to pass garage inspection. They do those occasionally.
I said, I'll pass garage inspecs. I'm good. Well, you
know you can't block the water heater closet. I said,
oh yeah, no, I'm going to close.

Speaker 4 (01:09:05):
I can't stand. This is the worst kind of person.
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
And then she says, then here's what she here's where
she gets me scary. She says, you know, when when
my husband and I moved out of our big house,
I had charities come and just take everything. I didn't
care took everything because the last thing I wanted to
be was a hoarder.

Speaker 4 (01:09:22):
Now, oh my god, that's insinuating that you're a hoarder.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
Right, So, like imagine like you're talking to a fat
person and you're like, well, I go to the gym
because I don't want to be fat. Like you're not
saying they're fat, but you're saying you're like implying that
you don't want to be like that, right. So I
was like, okay, Kelly, Well you know, you have a
nice day. I got a lot of work to do.
Don't you worry about my garage. I'm good. That was
on Tuesday. On Thursday, I get an email from the

(01:09:47):
from the town home community and it says, hey, everyone,
just reminding you that, uh first week of December, we'll
be doing a garage inspection. And as a reminder, you
have to be able to pull your car into the garage.
Nothing flammable bay in there, and garages are not used
for storage. So I went into a panic, and I

(01:10:10):
start looking at storage system like store self storage units
and how much it's gonna cost me. I'm measuring this
stuff in my garage. By the way, is that true
though you can't use the garage for storage, it has
to be. I'm gonna fucking panic. I'm gonna panic. So
I've been pricing everything out, and it's Friday, so everybody
no one's here on like, there's nobody in the office
to to talk to. So on Monday, I gotta go

(01:10:30):
in and and and and ask about this because I'm
in a panic. It's gonna cost me like three hundred
a month because of this fucking woman. Now I don't again.

Speaker 4 (01:10:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
For like Bill Maher has the thing skin he does
on real Time with Bill Maher. He goes, I don't know.
I don't know it for a fact. I just know
it's true, right, Yeah, He's like, I don't know for
a fact, I just know it's true. I don't know
it for a fact. Scary, But this is fucking twice now, Yeah,
she's got it twice to that. I'm trying to live
my life. I got dogs that are none of her

(01:11:03):
fucking business. Uh and and and I'm doing my daughter
a favor, a couple of you know, a few days
a month until she gets on her feet. And all
of a sudden, I got a neighbor who decides it's
up to her to determine whether or not how many
dogs I have because she might want a third dog. Well,
maybe other people want third dogs. I don't have a
third dog. I have two dogs. And I got the
one dog that's not here all the time, that's tiny

(01:11:25):
little dog. And now I gotta have her worrying about
my garage. My garage is not doing her. Don't worry
about my garage passing inspection. I got everything on racks,
everything's labeled everything's organized. But oh no, Kelly wants to
tell me, Ah, you sho gotta get to pass this space.
I don't want to be a hoarder. Fuck you, Kelly,
Fuck you, fuck you Kelly, Fuck you Kelly. What's next?

(01:11:48):
You know there's a law against wearing shorts after November first, David,
you shouldn't be wearing shorts. Huh, there'll be a letter
going out about how you can't wear shorts in the community.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Wow, mind your own fucking business.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
I hate it. But like her, why do you think exist?
What is in the neighborhood? Yes, if you have someone
in your neighborhood like Kelly, leave us a talk back
and let us know about them.

Speaker 4 (01:12:10):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
Why are they Kelly's busy bodies? They got nothing else
better to do with their life.

Speaker 2 (01:12:17):
Keep a can't get?

Speaker 4 (01:12:18):
Might be a horder.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
You know what? I got photo albums on those shelves.
I have my comic book collection. My CDs are on that.
My business is it of ours? Yet? At a crap
in there, miserable beach, you damn right by
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