February 5, 2025 • 7 mins
No, not a game of connections... we talk about being lonely in this day and age and how to cope with loneliness.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
God, I've been reading so much. My brain's going to explode.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Oh I love that for you, that reading part.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I can't wait to see your brains explode, you know
what I mean, get all over the walls. Yeah, I
was reading something last night about loneliness. We hear about
this a lot, and this has been a conversation with
all of us for several years now. But how loneliness
is just so much more dangerous than we give it
credit for. You know, people who are lonely become sick faster,
(00:39):
don't live as long, they're saying, and while living, the
quality of life is just not there. Because being social,
being in touch with people, connecting with people is very important.
And another study I read the other day, I got
these studies. We've got to stop reading studies. But anyway,
(01:00):
it's fascinating to see how they see one percent proof
that if you're out engaging with friends, you go out,
you go out and have dinner a couple of days
a week, or you go out to their house for lunch,
or at least go for walks with people, have conversations
with people, share a car, going to and from them
all or shopping or grocery store with people. It makes
(01:21):
all the difference in the world, that connection. But if
you start to find yourself living this life where you're
spending more time by yourself, you shut down. Your brain's
pathways become empty with no thought, no spark, no electricity
at all. That's why you Yesterday, we hung out with
one of our best friends of all time, just shopping
at the outdoor mall. It would Berry Commons, just walking
(01:44):
around talking, laughing. Everyone's while. We're going into a store
and buy some shoes, which is great, But we were
looking at shoes together. I was making notes, we were
comparing the different shoes we were picking up and looking
at them and feeling shoes and talking about them, laughing. Yeah,
something as simple as shoe shopping where a friend turns
(02:04):
into one of those moments where you're connecting. You're disagreeing
on a color of a shoe. As simple as that sounds,
it's a conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I like when you're shopping with somebody and you find
an outfit that nobody would wear, and you pick it
up and you.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Go, I found it.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
This is what you're wearing to the next whatever, and
then you guys start laughing and then you're in a
good space. Makes you feel good.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
So at the end of the day, your pleasure doesn't
only come from getting a nice frock to wear to
your next event, but you spent time with someone. Yeah,
and at the end of the day, you're like, Wow,
I just had a great day. Do you guys do that?
Do you take stock or do you actually look at
your list of things you love it about the day
you just spent before you go to bed.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, every day I write down the thing that I
had the most fun doing.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Why is it writing down so much more important than
just thinking about it?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Because I'll forget after a while. I can't remember every
single thing from a year of the best thing of
every day. But if I need to go back and
look at it, then I'm like, oh, yeah, I totally
remember that and that was fun. It's a little memory jogger.
And I also recently read to what you're speaking about
that people think recharging and resetting the best thing to
do is just be alone and relax and you know,
(03:12):
watch TV, And apparently it's opposite if you want to
recharge and relax. They're supposed to enjoy it with other people.
You don't have to do anything super intense, but you're
supposed to be around human beings and share that together
because that brings you more sense of joy than just
sitting on your couch by.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yourself, Which proves the point. The people you surround yourself
with are very key. If you surround yourself with people
who are just always swimming in drama and just negative,
then that's not the piece you need that you're talking about.
But like last night, I was thinking, God, what made
(03:47):
today's it's a great day? Of course I had a
couple of bags with some new shoes and this and that.
That was great. Yeah, but just quality time we spent
with a really dear friend. And at the end of
the day, I'm like, was today satisfying On the scale
of one to ten? It was a ten. It was
over it time nice if possible, which is awesome. Hang
out with people and talk about stuff other than what
you talk about every day. Yeah, frog, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I always say this, doing the smallest little thing or
nothing with the right person is better than doing the
most exuberant, exaggerant thing with the wrong person, Because if
you go somewhere with the wrong person, it ruins the experience.
But doing nothing or even something small with the right
person is everything because that person makes the experience so
(04:29):
much better.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And they get something out of it too. So today,
look at your calendar. I always look at my calendar
at the beginning of the week, like, Okay, what am
I doing this week? And I see I don't see
a lot of interactivity with other people other than my
favorite four hours a day with you guys, you know,
and I'm having lunch with Josh on Thursday. I feel pretty
good about that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Hello, We're going to Universal this weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, and we're gonna be together.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I'm just spend a lot of time together this weekend, all.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Of us time well sometime.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Ok so uh yeah, so you know, spend time with people.
It's much more important than you think. But like I said,
if it's the wrong people, you really need to fix that.
If you're spent, you don't want to spend time with
people who were just bringing you down, no.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Very And if people are sucking all your energy out
and there and they're you know, you know, deep down
inside they're not who they say they are, then you
need to move on and find somebody new find new people.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And don't let them guilt you in the process. You
don't know anymore. You're right, I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Do you if this is another line we've used on
this show a lot, is uh, don't spend any time
with someone who blames you for all of their problems
in life when they were the one that created it
for themselves. I mean when I say that line, I
bet you immediately think of at least one person I do. Yeah,
(05:59):
for sure, are absolutely scary. Had a question, how do
you keep someone from always being negative?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Like, okay, you can't. Yeah, because sometimes I'm like, I'm
gonna call this person up and then you get into
a conversation and within thirty seconds it goes down this
rabbit hole and it's all negative and you can't pull
this person out of an abyss. Yeah, and all they
do is talk and I'm like, oh, but wait a second,
what about this? And then they take you with them,
They take you in there with them. That happened to
me last week. So at some point, you know, look,
you want to fight it, you want to help because
(06:27):
you're their friend and you love them. I get that
it's okay to love someone, but you don't have to
like them, you know, but there's got to be a
point where you realize there's nothing else I can do.
I'm gonna I'm maybe failing at fixing this person. Hey,
guess what we are not in the person fixing business
in our lives. You got to stop that. This person
had a lifelong project for me. But it's all good. Wow, God,
(06:51):
who is it? Don't give a name. I'm not gonna
give a name. It's all good.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You're getting lots of calls today, though, isn't me scared?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
This is me? Am I your lifelong project anyway? So yeah,
surround yourself with the people that matter and spend time
with them. And that's kind of an easy order to fill,
isn't it.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, Yes,
Today's Daily Highlight from Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
God, I've been reading so much. My brain's going to explode.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Oh I love that for you, that reading part.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I can't wait to see your brains explode, you know
what I mean, get all over the walls. Yeah, I
was reading something last night about loneliness. We hear about
this a lot, and this has been a conversation with
all of us for several years now. But how loneliness
is just so much more dangerous than we give it
credit for. You know, people who are lonely become sick faster,
(00:39):
don't live as long, they're saying, and while living, the
quality of life is just not there. Because being social,
being in touch with people, connecting with people is very important.
And another study I read the other day, I got
these studies. We've got to stop reading studies. But anyway,
(01:00):
it's fascinating to see how they see one percent proof
that if you're out engaging with friends, you go out,
you go out and have dinner a couple of days
a week, or you go out to their house for lunch,
or at least go for walks with people, have conversations
with people, share a car, going to and from them
all or shopping or grocery store with people. It makes
(01:21):
all the difference in the world, that connection. But if
you start to find yourself living this life where you're
spending more time by yourself, you shut down. Your brain's
pathways become empty with no thought, no spark, no electricity
at all. That's why you Yesterday, we hung out with
one of our best friends of all time, just shopping
at the outdoor mall. It would Berry Commons, just walking
(01:44):
around talking, laughing. Everyone's while. We're going into a store
and buy some shoes, which is great, But we were
looking at shoes together. I was making notes, we were
comparing the different shoes we were picking up and looking
at them and feeling shoes and talking about them, laughing. Yeah,
something as simple as shoe shopping where a friend turns
(02:04):
into one of those moments where you're connecting. You're disagreeing
on a color of a shoe. As simple as that sounds,
it's a conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
I like when you're shopping with somebody and you find
an outfit that nobody would wear, and you pick it
up and you.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Go, I found it.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
This is what you're wearing to the next whatever, and
then you guys start laughing and then you're in a
good space. Makes you feel good.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
So at the end of the day, your pleasure doesn't
only come from getting a nice frock to wear to
your next event, but you spent time with someone. Yeah,
and at the end of the day, you're like, Wow,
I just had a great day. Do you guys do that?
Do you take stock or do you actually look at
your list of things you love it about the day
you just spent before you go to bed.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah, every day I write down the thing that I
had the most fun doing.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Why is it writing down so much more important than
just thinking about it?
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Because I'll forget after a while. I can't remember every
single thing from a year of the best thing of
every day. But if I need to go back and
look at it, then I'm like, oh, yeah, I totally
remember that and that was fun. It's a little memory jogger.
And I also recently read to what you're speaking about
that people think recharging and resetting the best thing to
do is just be alone and relax and you know,
(03:12):
watch TV, And apparently it's opposite if you want to
recharge and relax. They're supposed to enjoy it with other people.
You don't have to do anything super intense, but you're
supposed to be around human beings and share that together
because that brings you more sense of joy than just
sitting on your couch by.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yourself, Which proves the point. The people you surround yourself
with are very key. If you surround yourself with people
who are just always swimming in drama and just negative,
then that's not the piece you need that you're talking about.
But like last night, I was thinking, God, what made
(03:47):
today's it's a great day? Of course I had a
couple of bags with some new shoes and this and that.
That was great. Yeah, but just quality time we spent
with a really dear friend. And at the end of
the day, I'm like, was today satisfying On the scale
of one to ten? It was a ten. It was
over it time nice if possible, which is awesome. Hang
out with people and talk about stuff other than what
you talk about every day. Yeah, frog, what do you think?
Speaker 4 (04:08):
I always say this, doing the smallest little thing or
nothing with the right person is better than doing the
most exuberant, exaggerant thing with the wrong person, Because if
you go somewhere with the wrong person, it ruins the experience.
But doing nothing or even something small with the right
person is everything because that person makes the experience so
(04:29):
much better.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And they get something out of it too. So today,
look at your calendar. I always look at my calendar
at the beginning of the week, like, Okay, what am
I doing this week? And I see I don't see
a lot of interactivity with other people other than my
favorite four hours a day with you guys, you know,
and I'm having lunch with Josh on Thursday. I feel pretty
good about that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Hello, We're going to Universal this weekend.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Yeah, and we're gonna be together.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I'm just spend a lot of time together this weekend, all.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Of us time well sometime.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Ok so uh yeah, so you know, spend time with people.
It's much more important than you think. But like I said,
if it's the wrong people, you really need to fix that.
If you're spent, you don't want to spend time with
people who were just bringing you down, no.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Very And if people are sucking all your energy out
and there and they're you know, you know, deep down
inside they're not who they say they are, then you
need to move on and find somebody new find new people.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And don't let them guilt you in the process. You
don't know anymore. You're right, I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Do you if this is another line we've used on
this show a lot, is uh, don't spend any time
with someone who blames you for all of their problems
in life when they were the one that created it
for themselves. I mean when I say that line, I
bet you immediately think of at least one person I do. Yeah,
(05:59):
for sure, are absolutely scary. Had a question, how do
you keep someone from always being negative?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Like, okay, you can't. Yeah, because sometimes I'm like, I'm
gonna call this person up and then you get into
a conversation and within thirty seconds it goes down this
rabbit hole and it's all negative and you can't pull
this person out of an abyss. Yeah, and all they
do is talk and I'm like, oh, but wait a second,
what about this? And then they take you with them,
They take you in there with them. That happened to
me last week. So at some point, you know, look,
you want to fight it, you want to help because
(06:27):
you're their friend and you love them. I get that
it's okay to love someone, but you don't have to
like them, you know, but there's got to be a
point where you realize there's nothing else I can do.
I'm gonna I'm maybe failing at fixing this person. Hey,
guess what we are not in the person fixing business
in our lives. You got to stop that. This person
had a lifelong project for me. But it's all good. Wow, God,
(06:51):
who is it? Don't give a name. I'm not gonna
give a name. It's all good.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You're getting lots of calls today, though, isn't me scared?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
This is me? Am I your lifelong project anyway? So yeah,
surround yourself with the people that matter and spend time
with them. And that's kind of an easy order to fill,
isn't it.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
Yeah, Yes,
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