Full Show Podcast: 17 November 2025

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
You're listening to a podcast from News Talk sed B.
Follow this and our wide range of podcasts now on iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hell are you great, New Zealands? Welcome to Matt and
Tyler Full Show, Podcast number two four fourth from Monday,
the seventeenth of November. Fantastic show today. Oh my goodness,
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Who had it all? Didn't it?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
We're dating, we had sexual activity, we had ubi ubi.
We had a head of a new political party who
wouldn't answer my questions on cats. So I decided to
knock me on my back for one of her first interviews.
She done about three or four interviews, but she decided
to just knock me on my back. When I asked her,

(00:49):
as your party is still talking about cats anyway?

Speaker 3 (00:51):
She got a hickels up on that one.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
She did that she was she was very good. Apart
from that. Yeah, No, it was a great, great show.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Loved it, so download, subscribe and give us a review
and give a taste a key. All right, then, love you.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
Big stories, the big issues, the big trends and everything
in between.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Matt Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons News Talk.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Said, good ay to you. Welcome into Monday show. Hope
you're doing pretty good if you were listening in this
lovely country of ours, mad Heath. How are you doing?

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Hello Tyler?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Hello?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Are you great? New Zealanders? Thank you so much for
tuning in. I'm doing pretty well if you listen to
our show on Friday. I indulge myself by spending the
last hour of the show asking for people for advice
because I was running my first marathon on the weekend
down in Queenstown on Sydney.

Speaker 3 (01:39):
How good and I ran it? You did? You got
to the end of the line and that's what you
always said.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Well, yeah, so I thought the best way to describe it.
A lot of people asking me to describe how the
marathon went. So my lovely partner, partner Tracy, she filmed
a lot of it and she put a little video up.
You can actually watch that at mett Heath in zed
on my Instagram. But I thought i'd read her analysis
of the race.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Okay, this is good.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Okay, we arrived at the start line two minute before
the race began. Stress was high. Yeah, we messed that.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Up two minutes before making it.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, I know. Preparation has not been on point over
the past month. As we arrived, Matt googled when should
I have my energy gels. Gels were then discovered to
have been left at home. But despite all that and
me thinking I should pre book a Saint John's ambulance

(02:33):
for the thirty killing me to mark, my guy smashed
his first marathon. At one point, as I handed him
a poweraide and shoved loies into his pocket, I thought
his soul had actually departed his earth this earthly plane.
But he made it to the finish line with minimal
chafing and cleanish pants. Emboldened by his brave defeat of
the marathon demons, he won't shut up about it. He

(02:55):
has been taken to holding out his hand in silent
demand when he wants something. I fear I now am
a marathon whag.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, so that is beautifully written and well described.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Thank you so much for your support Tracy on the marathon.
But like so, I started the marathon, and as I said,
I wasn't prepared and people said, run super slow at
the start. Yeah, what I did was I ran super
slow at the start, super slow in the middle, and
super slow at the I think I might ran too
slow and spent too much time on my feet. But
I never would have made it if it wasn't for

(03:27):
the help of this guardian angel. Her name was Kate
from Clyde, and I met her on the run and
I was running with her for a very long time,
and she just had everything because I didn't have my
energy jails. So she said to me, when we're running
loong and you're taking your energy jails, you need to
take one every half hour. And then she had them
and she was just handed me in owl. She managed

(03:47):
my time because she was running the timing in the ears.
She managed my energy jails. And at one point I
said to her, I said, Kate from Clyde, I've got
a saw tummy and quick as a flash. She goes,
I'm a mum and she has quick as if fast.
She whipped out an antesseine and gave it to me.
Kate from Clyde, Kate Faint Clyde was running along with
this full operation. She had everything organized. Without her, I

(04:09):
never would have made it to the end.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Do you think that was some sort of hallucination When
you need it the most, that's Kate from Clyde was
just someone that you needed there. But she didn't really exist.

Speaker 5 (04:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I was talking on a podcast about it this morning
and someone was suggesting it might be like the end
of Fight Club when you see that. I was just
running along, completely delirious, talking to no one but no
Kate from Clyde, Great New Zealander. In fact, their name
is Kate Goodfellow. If she messaged me after the rates
last night, she got me home. So I got home
with the help of Kate and Tracy. Thank you so much.

(04:39):
But what an experience. Finished the marathon. But being the
psychologically damaged person I am, I immediately thought, I need
to run a marathon again, but do it better. So
I'm going to do another one and take the lessons
I learned on this one and run a bitter marathon.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
That's a good attitude.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
But I finished, and I was worried I wouldn't be
able to finish it. So I ran a marathon. So
I'm willing to slightly pat myself on the back for that.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Got the job done.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
But I got to be better.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, when's the next one? You got to give it
a go? What six months before? Yeah? Take all your
next one?

Speaker 2 (05:11):
What's that?

Speaker 3 (05:12):
What's the standown period before your next marathon?

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I think six months training.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah, six months okay, okay, look forward to that. And
Kate obviously hot contented for New Zealand for the week.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh wow, they'd be a bit of a self saurcer.
She's only really I mean, she's a fan.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
They will nominate her. Okay, yeah, bro, No, well done mate.
It's a hell of a thing to do and not
many people do it.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Look at this hateful person that's texting I'm a god.
Of course. First thing we hear is about Matt.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Matt.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Time to switch off person that ends in five to one.
You're a hateful person. Yeah, well someone runs a marathon
and you're not even gonna listen to them talking about it. Yeah,
you're a bad person.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
We don't want you.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, but that's a nice one.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
There's a lot of people that are texting and nice stuff.
But then there's come on your New Zealand. We've got
to be better than just hating on people for trying
to do something cool.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Poppy. God, See, this is what's holding us back, all
this tool poppy stuff saying ah cheapers. I mean there's
some lovely texts coming through, but yeah, we've got to
do better in New Zealand.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, you're entitled person. People like this sixth person from
six to two just hateful, miserable, purfle another hour me
sarging Matt Heath Sieger. You're a bad person.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Do better? Do bad people Bebe like Kate, Be like
Kate from Clyde.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Imagine just walking around and someone shares that they ran
a marathon and your first your first motivation is to
get on nine to two and text hate. Yeah, what
is wrong with you people that text that stuff? If
you ever ran a marathon, I would congratulate you and
I would say something nice and I'd like to hear.
I'd be interested in your story definitely. But you small

(06:39):
hateful people.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yeah, be happier, Just do better?

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Right, Well, that actually makes me worry for the state
of people that that many people text that hate through.
You know, maybe I'm emotional because I expended all my
energy on the run, but you people.

Speaker 3 (06:55):
Not many people run a marathon. Just one last question. Sorry,
you mentioned and Tracy's post that the chafing went okay.
So yes, so the nip survived.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
So you're a good person, Tyler, because you put together
that package for me for running the marathon and the
anti chafing stuff. Yep, was so good.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
I just knew that was a vulnerability and I'm glad
that came through glide on your head.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Band and your anti chafing stuff. I was halfway through
the US I was thinking, good on you, Tyler Adams.
You're a good person.

Speaker 3 (07:20):
Well done, mate, it's a hell of an achievement. Right
on to today's show after three o'clock. This is gonna
be a great chat. So some women in New Zealand
are calling out what they see is major emotional immaturity
and Kiwi men, and they say it's making dating feel shallow,
passive and disappointing. So it quotes this one woman, Ashley Tarbor,
and she said they've found the law people, local dating

(07:40):
culture overly relaxed, with few men showing real initiative or vulnerability.
In effect, she's left the country. She's had enough of
what she calls the easy going social norms of Kiwi men,
and she's gone to Australia.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yes, so key, we men useless at dating eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty or we just down to earth
and no fuss, you know. And look, this is the
question that i'd ask if someone that's saying that Kiwi
men are bad at dating. If you struggle to find
some what is it because the options are bad or
is it because you are a bad option?

Speaker 3 (08:11):
Yep, looking forward to that after three o'clock. After two o'clock,
new researchers sound in the alarm. This is when it
comes to screen time. So Ossie children average around six
hours of recreational screen time a day. The key we
children aren't far behind that. It's a habit that experts
warn is seriously undermining their cognitive development, physical health and wellbeing.
The line is that it is making them dumber and sicker,

(08:32):
and toddlers are most at risk.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, that's right. So people are saying more and more
that your kids being bored is the absolute best thing
for them. And you know, putting them in front of
an iPad with their headphones on at the supermarket is
not the best thing for them because they're not bad,
and not only that, it's making them dumber.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, which is concerning.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Isn't it, Because no parent wants to make their kids
get dumber and very few parents want to damage their kids.

Speaker 6 (08:55):
Right.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
So the question is when is it too early for
any kind of screen time with your kids? And people
will push back and say, look, for the longest time
people have been accusing people have using TVs as babysitters. Know,
that was the thing when I was a kid, babysitter
TV babysitting, But I don't know when it's so hard

(09:17):
for kids now. I think that part of the ism
we'll go into this later is not more siblings because
two conds that are about the same age and they
were always playing with each other. Yep, so we didn't
need to use the iPad babysitter as much.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Definitely they make up their own games. But that is
after two o'clock. Looking forward to that, because right now,
let's have a chat about is their room for another
party in our politics? The Opportunity Party has unveiled a
new leader, pairing the announcement with a rebrand and a
bold push they say, towards the twenty twenty six election.
So the new leader's name is Qulay Wong. She's a

(09:52):
sustainability focused consultant with a business background, and her big
play is a sweeping tax reset built around what they
are calling a citizen's income, which is basically a universal
basic income, a land value text and a simplified income
tax system of flat rates. The party's goal is clear,
finally break the five percent three shold and enter Parliament

(10:12):
by offering what they are calling ambitious system level change
to voters fed up with the usual choices.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yees, So are you excited about these these new options
of the top party or is there another party that
could pop up that fulfills your needs? And what would
they be if if there was a party, the perfect
party that would pop up with you that would leverage
your vote off the current parties right now, we'd love
to hear from you on eight hundred and.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Eighty ten eighty nine, two ninety two is the text
number of course is well, love to get your thoughts
on this one. It is sixteen past one and coming
up after the break we are going to have a
chat to q Laywong and ask her a few questions
about what she actually thinks the party policies will be
going forward. So that's all coming up very shortly. It
is sixteen past one. Great to have your company, the.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Big stories, the big issues, the big trends and everything
in between. Matt Heath and Tayler Adams afternoons used talks.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
It'd be very good afternoons. You are nineteen past one. So,
as we mentioned, the Opportunity Party has unveiled a new leader.
Her name is que Lay Wong. She's a sustainability focused
consultant with a business background, and the party has gone
through a bit of a rebrand as well. But Qulai
joins us on the line. Now, very good afternoon to you.

Speaker 7 (11:29):
Good afternoon, thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Now, Cula, I've got to ask you, what's the current
Opportunity Party's position on cats?

Speaker 4 (11:37):
Ah?

Speaker 8 (11:38):
I think you know that was actually nine years ago.
I think we all just need to let it go.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, yeah, So so what is it?

Speaker 8 (11:47):
It's old news as it doesn't really matter anymore, does
not veeature in our policy platform.

Speaker 7 (11:51):
There's a lot of good stuff out there for people
have diggn too.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Okay, so what's your okay? All right, all right and
bivalentm I just I just so you're not going to
answer that question.

Speaker 7 (12:02):
Well, I've got a cat door in my kitchen. Does
that give you the information you need?

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Okay? Hey, so your job was originally on Seek, wasn't it.
They put the job out on Seek? How did you
get the job? Was it through Seek? Or did you
seek it?

Speaker 9 (12:16):
Out.

Speaker 7 (12:17):
I was actually on the newsletter mailing list.

Speaker 8 (12:21):
I wasn't a member, but was, you know, watching the
party and keeping up with what they're doing. So I
found out about it that way and reached out pretty
much straight away to learn a bit more. Being a
politician wasn't always on my radar, but I definitely had
come across the need for more structural change in my

(12:41):
professional career and I thought this would be a really
good opportunity. Excuse the pun to give it a crack.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
So you hadn't been a fan of the Opportunities Party
before the opportunity came up to be part of the
Opportunity Party, if you see what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 (12:57):
I definitely followed them and I have voted for them previously. Okay,
I think like I think, like lots of Kiwi's, I
kind of observed politics a little bit from afar. It
doesn't always look like the most appealing industry to get into,
but I felt like this was really the time for
me personally, and it feels like New Zealand really needs

(13:19):
something like this as well.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
As being the boss of the Opportunities Party. Is it
a paid gig and if so, who's funding your party.

Speaker 8 (13:28):
So yeah, I'm really fortunate that this role is paid.
So we've got donations from members and yeah, I'm really
grateful because I don't think I would be able to
take twelve months out of work to do something like this.

Speaker 7 (13:43):
So super grateful for that opportunity.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
And So the big policy pitch that you'll put forward
so far, it's around tax. Right, So you've talked about
this idea of the citizens Income which will be paid
for via a land value tax. Is that right?

Speaker 8 (13:58):
Yeah, yep, So it's part of a package with the
land value tax and the flat tax rate.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
And so how does the citizens income work walk us
through that? How does it differ from a universal basic income?

Speaker 8 (14:08):
Yeah, so it's similar and that almost all adults get
paid an amount each week. It's a little bit different
from a universal basic income, and that we will have
a tapering off for really high income earners so they
won't receive it, and that gets paid regardless, So no
more having to kind of fill informs all the kind

(14:30):
of bureaucracy and paperwork that goes with that. We believe
that the simplicity of a kind of broad citizens income
will remove a lot of that administration burden. So that
we can actually put tax dollar tax dollars to good use.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
And what's the motivation for this citizen's payment. What is
it solving, What are the problems that it solves.

Speaker 8 (14:55):
Yeah, so it really provides stability and security for all
New Zealanders. I mean, if you think about the hundreds
thousands of people that have lost jobs in the last
couple of years, pretty much everyone I talk to has
been through some kind of redundancy process. There's nothing really
at the moment unless you know they've been able to
save and have a kind of rainy day fund, something

(15:17):
like a citizen's income. Make sure that we can support
those people through tough times that they don't have to
take just any job that comes along. They could go
and do some upskilling.

Speaker 7 (15:27):
And maybe land another dream job.

Speaker 8 (15:30):
If you also think about people who you know, we've
got a lot of amazing entrepreneurs and innovators in this country.
It gives them a little bit more breathing space and
time to maybe turn that idea into a business as well.
So I think there's a lot of great benefits for
different pockets of society, which is exciting.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah, you say that it could be a motivation for
people but isn't the biggest complaint people or criticism people
have of the idea of universal basic incomes is that
it takes motivation away from people. Won't eighteen year olds
just delay life while they sit on the UBI?

Speaker 7 (16:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (16:08):
Look like we're a country of fairness. Kiwis like fenness,
and that is totally a value that is important to
us as a party as well. But I think we
also have to look at the current system. I mean,
the way that works is people are actually disincentivized from
looking for work. If you're receiving a benefit and you
go out and get some part time work, the way

(16:30):
our tax system works at the moment is you could
be taxed up to ninety percent on that work, so
you're maybe effectively taking home a few dollars an hour.

Speaker 7 (16:38):
I think if I was an eighteen.

Speaker 8 (16:40):
Year old at the moment, I wouldn't be very motivated
to go out to get a second job if from
taking home five dollars an hour.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Yeah, I guess, But I mean that's the time to
be poor, isn't it when you're young? And I get that,
but also I guess the question is then who pays
for it?

Speaker 7 (16:56):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (16:56):
So that's why This is part of a three pronged
tax reset. The land value tax that we're proposing would
offset the cost of the citizen's income. And what's I
think interesting to note is the citizens income would replace
both the jobs that could benefit and superannuation. So the
challenges we're talking about, which are very topical as a

(17:18):
country right now, how are we going to pay for
the increase in cost of super? This is a potential solution.

Speaker 3 (17:25):
To that, right, So, reaching or breaching the five percent
three shold. I know you genuinely believe you can do that,
but that is an incredibly hard ass, right. I mean,
there's been multiple iterations of the Opportunities Party, it's now
called the Opportunity Party, but the best it's ever done
is two point seven percent. So realistically, how do you
think your chances are going to go to breach that

(17:46):
five percent?

Speaker 7 (17:47):
Yeah, I mean, I'm not kidding myself.

Speaker 8 (17:50):
I know that this is you know, it's a hard ask,
It's a very big mountain to climb, but it definitely
for me anyway, feels like the time has never been
clearer that we need a party that is offering something new.
I can't see any inspiring visions coming out of the
current political landscape. So we're really backing the fact that

(18:11):
we've got an aspiring vision that we are making this
campaign all about connecting with kiwis and helping them, you know,
understand what this means for their everyday lives. And we'll
you know, we'll have some awesome candidates throughout the country
representing our message. I'm hoping that maybe me stepping into
this role inspires other people that have not thought about

(18:33):
politics to maybe get involved. And yeah, I mean it's
only one hundred and fifty thousand votes.

Speaker 7 (18:40):
Not that much.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
So would you put money on your making it and
would you drop a cool hundred or a cool thousand
on you making it to the five percent threshold?

Speaker 7 (18:51):
I'm backing one hundred percent, all right, so.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
A thousand is yeah, okay, all right, but no word
on the cats.

Speaker 8 (18:58):
I mean, I'm definitely you know, I've sacrificed a few things.
I will be sacrificing a few things over the next
twelve months to do this work. But I wouldn't do
it if I didn't truly believe and if I didn't
think it was worth it.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Yeah, well, a Qi Lee, all the very best to
you going forward. I'm sure we'll be chatting to you
a bit more as the election approaches, but all the.

Speaker 7 (19:20):
Very best, awesome, thanks so much.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
That is Qla Wong, the new leader of the Opportunity Party,
So keen to get your thoughts on eight hundred and
eighty ten eighty and also what sort of party would
you like to see? Who's not in Parliament at the moment?
Come on through, it is twenty seven past one.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
She's she's already quite a good politician because she wouldn't
answer the cat's question. Yeah right, Afroest that's the first question.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Yeah, yeah, your name, that was an easy one.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
All right, what do you think one hundred and eighty
ten eighty or is there another kind of party that
you would want to pop up that you could vote for?

Speaker 4 (19:51):
The headlines and the hard questions, it's the mic asking
Breakfast to say for.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
Beef, it goes back to what do we know?

Speaker 10 (19:59):
So it goes back to before the fifteen percent was
put on. So for us, it will be the equivalent
of than the most favor nation status, which is very low.

Speaker 11 (20:08):
It's less than one percent, so.

Speaker 10 (20:09):
It really means a very level playing field with every
other beef and porter in the world are the same
tariff rate that Australia faces. The only difference there is
from memory, Brazil faced about a forty percent tariff, so
you know we are more competitive than them. When does
it start, my understandings, it started already on the moment
that the announcement was made just to tay her two ago.

Speaker 2 (20:29):
Back tomorrow at six am the Mike Hosking Breakfast with
Mayley's Real Estate News Talk ZEB very good afternoon.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
She it is twenty nine to two. What sort of
party would you like to see in Parliament? On the
back of the Opportunity Party rebranding sounds.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Like she's just taken a job because she needed one
and doesn't expect to be in parliament. The policy sounds
as deluded as the Green policy Land text you're dreaming.
You know what, I don't think that's true, whether you
agree with her or not in her policies. I think
that she genuinely believes in what she's saying, and I
think that she's she's a motivated and well spoken leader

(21:02):
of the party. Qla wog. I think I'm quite impressed
with I mean, I was shot that she went so
aggressively on the first question about cats.

Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah, she's obviously it's a nerve the old cat question
when it comes to the.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Opportunity decided she wanted to make an enemy of me there,
but I she did coming hot well, but good on it. Ye, yes,
she wants to knock a media wounder on his back
on the first question, and you know, start a lifetime
for you. Then good on it. But I think I
think there's no doubt if you listen to her that
she she's passionate about about the party and believes that

(21:37):
that this new way of thinking is the way for it.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yeah, or she's certainly made or the party's made some
big policy announcements. So this text us talks about the
UBI get a. Guys, does that replace the benefit? But
everybody gets it. So if you choose to work, you
have a better life than incapable of simply bone idle people.
Sounds good to me. But where's the motivation to actually
stay working? And that is a big question around around

(22:02):
the universe. Will basically income It's been floated for some time.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yeah, so I thank you for it to work and
I don't have to look up. But the idea is
that you get rid of everything. So there is no
other there's no other benefits and so everyone gets it
in the univers will basic income as it has been
fillatted by people like Andrew Yang. Everyone gets it right
from the top to the bottom. Yes, And the complain

(22:27):
about that is it's you know, giving the doll to billionaires,
right and millionaires. But I think they have a cap
at the opportunity party on it. But yeah, yeah, I
mean you can't be you can't be you know, multiplying
your benefits. Yeah, And I think they look at it
being about the same as the work secer. Yeah, I'm

(22:47):
not sure. I can see an eighteen year old just
not doing anything and not following and just sitting around
doing nothing because they can get that. Yeah, potentially, I
don't know, what do you think. One hundred eighteen.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
Eighty nine two niney two is the text number headlines
hot on our tail, but love to hear from you.
Eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number.

Speaker 12 (23:07):
News Talk said with blue bubble taxis it's no trouble
with a blue bubble. I give a little Page has
identified three children who died in a house fire in
Mala Wittu on Saturday, along with their father. Schools and
early childcare sites around the country are waiting for Ministry
guidance on concerns about asbestos contamination in colored play sand,

(23:29):
ec rainbow sand and creatistics colored sand were recalled last week.
A man has died after being pulled unresponsive from the
water at Auckland's Takapuna about midday. Police staff couldn't revive
him and his death will be referred to the coroner.
Saltland police are looking for two people who lured a
man out of his Edendale house on Saturday night, claiming

(23:51):
to have a flat tire, before seriously assaulting him. Police
are asking for any security footage from around Malvin and
Turner Streets or sightings of a dark suv our. First
zero crystalline silica factory is opening in Nelson. An industry
miles don't in the fight against a reversible lung disease silicosis.

(24:12):
Chris Luxon is right to call for a mature conversation
about asset sales, but there's no way he'll get it,
according to Liam Dan, you can read the full column
at end, said Herold Premium. I'm back to matt Ethan
Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
Thank you very much. Railey. So we're talking about the
Opportunities Party trying to get back into Parliament with a
new leader.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
I like to push back on a couple of texts
that people are sitting through saying it was a stupid
question to ask about the cat policy. No, because I
think that had a lot to do with thinking the
Top Party in the past and why they never got
over to point five percent, because the whole thing came
about the around the cat thing. Whether that was never
a huge significant thing, but Gareth Morgan who started the party,

(24:49):
was huge about domestic cats because he hated what they
did to birds and that was something that caught on
in the media.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
Yeah, and it clearly hit a nerve. So it's an
important question.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
There was the thing that cuts through more than anything
else with the Top Party, for better or worse. So
I think it was a legitimate question to ask where
they said on the cat thing. She's moved on from it.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
But we still don't know or anti cat. I mean
she had a cat door. Does that mean that she's
pro cat? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah, well, no, I think you can read between the lines.
If she's got a cat door, then she's allowing her
cat to go out and decimate the native birds of
our country. So I think you can say the Opportunity
Party has moved on from the cat is suit.

Speaker 4 (25:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
So she didn't want to answer the question, but I
think she did.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Yeah, important question. Yeah, Oh one hundred and eighty ten
eighty is that number to.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Call CAM you want to talk about universal basic income?

Speaker 11 (25:36):
Yeah, Look, I don't really think it's a good her idea.
I think I'll just end up pumping up inflation a bit.
I because if everyone's got the same amount of income,
then instead of becomes a base, you're not really assisting
those in need. But just on that, I mean, there's
certainly no denying that New Zealand has a massive issue
with the people that are career beneficiaries. And why why

(25:59):
doesn't one of these parties come up with a solution
that says, look, from the moment you leave school or
stop training to the moment you retire at sixty five,
you can only have five years of benefit life. And
because I mean it seems a bit of unfeared and
someone who struggles away their whole life and never takes
the benefit to let other people spend twenty five years

(26:21):
of their life on the benefits. I want to just
put a cat time frame, a cap on how long
you Obviously someone's got a legitimate need for a need
for to be on the benefit, like they can't work
as a handicap or whatever. Fine, but if you haven't,
I should just get to live and live a life
where you're paid for by everyone else. Do you think

(26:43):
Kim's a good standard?

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Do you think, Kim that there are some people that
are just unemployable that they don't have a necessarily something
that you could diagnose, but they're just unemployable for whatever reason.
And after that five years, would they just be on
the street in your plan?

Speaker 11 (27:04):
Or what do you mean by unemployable? Like unemployable? Like
not everyone can be a rocket scientist?

Speaker 2 (27:09):
I think rubbish. I think some people can't even do that.
I don't. I think there are a certain certain percentage
of people that just cannot, even for whatever reason, no
matter what you do, even turn up to pick up
rubbish off the streets.

Speaker 11 (27:26):
Right, So what percentage of the population do you think
that will apply?

Speaker 2 (27:30):
I would I would say, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 11 (27:33):
We just called the whole bunch of people. I couldn't
think of one of them that couldn't pick up rubbish.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
Well, there's some people that there's some people that can't
turn up anywhere. They can't they're a liability. There's more
work and organizing them to pick up the rubbish than
it is for them to actually pick up the rubbish.
I think there's a certain percentage, and anyway, I mean,
you're right to point out what percentage, because I'm just

(27:59):
sort of talking here without it. I don't have any
stats behind it. But I guess the bigger question then
would be what happens to those people after the five years,
if they if they got a job, they've failed.

Speaker 11 (28:11):
You can, but you'd like to think you'd like to
think that I look at that and go, well, Okay,
I've just left school at eighteen. I've got five years
of bumming around before I'm not going to get the
benefit anymore. Maybe I should get off my house and
get a job now, rather than waking up when I'm
thirty five as a loser. What's the only job I
can do is something like picking up rubbish? But even't
trained or obtained any skills at that point. I think realistically,

(28:35):
you've got to you know, there's got to be at
some point in a topic clift that stops people getting
into that trap, So the just encourage them to be
on benefits for the whole life and realistically saying that
while well, some people are unemployable so it can't hide
to everyone, seems like a pretty low sort of bar
you're setting for basically basic humanity.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
I know it is. It's an interesting thing with the
left right thing because some people say that the left
care about, you know, vulnerable people more, and some people
say that the left position is that you have no
faith in human There's two ways of looking at it,
and I do think there's something. If there's no backstop
at all, then there's more meaning in whatever job you get.

(29:17):
And I'm not saying that we should get rid of
unemployment benefit and I'm not saying that we shouldn't help people,
but I think if the difference between is starving on
the streets and holding down what's quite a boring rubbish job,
then that boring rubbish job is actually more meaningful for you,
and you will, you will rock through the forty hours
a week just because the other you know, it has

(29:39):
serious meaning for your life.

Speaker 11 (29:41):
Yeah, But I think the thing is what you're talking
about is the boring, meaningless job. Okay, so if you
leave school and you've got absolutely no skills and you
enter into the workflorce without any ambition of being a
painter or anything along those lines, then yeah, by the
time you get to forty, you're not going to have
any skills and the only job you're going to get

(30:02):
is going to be a very poor one. Whereas they
actually leave school with an ambition of, hey, well I
could do and get to that point and then be
an apprentice mechanical builder or work on the railroad or
get my become a truck driver or something like that,
then actually the job, the job profile tiedule of that person.
It's far greater than if they just leave school, playplaystation

(30:24):
for ten years, wake up when they're twenty eight and
go oh well, oh shit, I don't want to start
at the bottom. They shouldn't been starting at the bottom
at eighteen. Yeah, so yeah, hey, give paying people to
sit on their asses. Not really a solution. As far
as putting them on a career path, well be it.
Not everyone has to be a rocket dinist, but actually
a career path that is going to lead to lead

(30:46):
to somewhere that is going to end up with being
a filling job, not just sitting on your ars, down
your handout and being paid for by all the hard
working textpayers for the rest of your life.

Speaker 5 (30:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:54):
I guess what I was talking about because I read
this story from a person that was a lift operator
in the nineteen thirties and New York when the depression
came in, and he was interviewed about running a lift
operation and if it was boring, and his thing was
running the lift feeds my kids, So it is the
best job I could you know, having this job is
so important to me and so meaningful. And he basically

(31:17):
I can't remember the exact words, but this lift operator
had no complaints about his job because his job was
keeping his kids off the street and keeping him off
the street. If you see what I mean. There's a
sort of if the jeopardy's up, the meaning meaning and
your job is up. Is the point I was trying
to make that camp.

Speaker 11 (31:33):
Yeah, but I think from my point the reality is
if you are have no skills and are thirty five
and consider at home and get five hundred bucks a
week from the government and a free house versus working
and getting six hundred and fifty bucks a week and
no free house. I can see why people don't. I
can see why people don't work. Can you see the
reality is you've got to stop that. You've got to

(31:55):
stop that point when younger, so they can actually get
the highest skills there so that when their life proddresses
and you know, they have children and more expense, and
they're like they are capable of learning or not starting
at the bottom later in life, which unfortunately is what
happened when and so that's why I'm sort of suggesting saying,
what if you actually had like a time frame going hey,

(32:15):
well you only got five years of your life, you
can be on a benefit. Maybe they would inspire people
to actually start working younger.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Hey, I've got a texts come through here for you
benefit the whole day. I've got text has come through
for you, Cam for a question for you to answer. Hey, guys,
is Cam going to tell us where all the jobs
are so that people do not have to become beneficiaries?
Do you think there's enough jobs out there for everyone?

Speaker 11 (32:39):
Well, the fact that they're importing immigrants to do jobs,
and I'll tell you what, they're not all highly skilled
because I see a lot of them driving trucks and
taxis have always stopped importing people to start with, and
hopefully that we're to encourage people to do that legitimate
left there's no jobs. Hey, that's fair enough. Yeah, they
they could be on a benefit if there were a
criteria that would fulfill that, But realistically, I'm sort of

(33:02):
talking about more generic sort of approach of going, hey, well,
you know, realistically, is their jobs out there? Because I'm
sure everyone who leaves school sense I think they should
be earning a lot of money.

Speaker 9 (33:12):
But yeah, well I guess I.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Guess the top party would say that with you know,
automation and AI taking jobs, that there could be a
situation down the track very soon where a lot of
those sort of lowering jobs are just completely replaced or
and you know, you know, middle class jobs being replaced
by AI, and that they would believe that the economy

(33:36):
needs a reset, but you'd also need the economy to
have the requisite growth to cover that as well. If
that if that was going to be the case, camp
so then just on.

Speaker 11 (33:46):
That, well, then why are we why are we bringing
in immigrants through work if we're going to have a
over supply of workers in five years time.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, thanks so much. We call campcire Can. Thank you
very much, just quickly on the UBI. Look, I I
think it's a bad idea in general, but I can
see some merits and it's still you know, it's a
bit of a theory here and it hasn't been put
into practice in any part of the world. But that
idea that it makes it a lot more simplified at
the benefit level. But then for people in the middle
class who actually know the value of hard work, having

(34:15):
a bit of extra money to take a punt on
something like a business can be good for an economy.
So that is the flip side. But it is a
bold idea. Oh eight one hundred eighty ten eighty is
that number to call? It's thirteen to.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Two your home of afternoon talk, mad Heathen Taylor Adams.
Afternoons call, oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty youth talks.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
They'd be very good. Afternoon to here. It is ten
to two, Maverick eating pretty good?

Speaker 4 (34:41):
How are you good?

Speaker 3 (34:42):
What do you reckon about the Opportunity Party UBI? Is
there room for another party in politics?

Speaker 9 (34:48):
There's always room for another party. But I really disagree
with a universal tension or whatever you want to call it,
grant you've got to work for everything in life. That's
the way we're designed.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Yep, what do you think?

Speaker 2 (35:06):
What do you think about their assertion and that it
will give people the space if they're on this what
are they calling it? Sorry, they call it the change
the name because the UBI has a bit of baggage,
so they're calling it the citizens. What is it?

Speaker 3 (35:19):
Citizens?

Speaker 2 (35:20):
And citizens can So their assertion at top is that
it will give people the space to be innovative and
take risks in life and become the next you know,
genius that employs you know, tens of thousands of people
in this country.

Speaker 9 (35:40):
That will apply to some, but most will just say
take the money and sip on my ass.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
If it was to come into play, Maverick, do you
think you'd give it back? Are you in a position
to say I don't need that, and you take it
back and put it into something that's that there's actually need.

Speaker 9 (35:59):
I would not accept it, even though I've got no
money at all, and i live a very basic life
and I'm happy with that and I'm working to improve
it to be comfortable, but never rich.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
I mean I do. And you were making this point
and I do agree with it that that motivation when
you're between so your options are you go hungry and
your family go hungry, or you work a job. Great
motivation and good for giving you purpose in life. But
I think I hope for most people when it's sink
or swim, you swim. When what is on the line

(36:34):
is that you feed yourself and house yourself, most people
I would assume would do whatever they needed to do
to make sure that they weren't on the streets.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
You know, well, including burglary and stealing food off people.

Speaker 3 (36:45):
There's a lot of that as well, yep, absolutely, you know,
and this hasn't been disparaging to those on the street,
but as we know, there's a lot of factors that
play there with people who end up in that unfortunate position.
But I think for most of these you need that motivation.
Right when that motivation has taken away that unless you work,
you're not going to be able to feed yourself with
your family, then there may be people who take advantage

(37:07):
of that.

Speaker 9 (37:09):
Yep. Always there's always people for waiting to take advantage
of anything they can get for free. And nothing's for free.
It's the thing, Hey, it's not free.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Yeah, thank you for your call. This text says, hey, guys,
people are getting laid off from jobs left, right and centered.
So how are we going to put all these people
into jobs? Says this text, Whereas Sam, she says, I
work for a cleaning company. Always need good stuff. We
paid a living wage, and we can't find staff that
show up consistent, sober, not impacted by drugs, don't steal.

(37:40):
We have jobs, but people don't want to do them.
My kids complain they can't get a job, and I say,
come on, work for me. I get a no, thank you.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
There you go. Keep those teachs coming through A nine two,
nine to two. It is seven minutes to two.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Madd Heath Tyler Adams taking your calls on Oh, eight
hundred and eighty ten eighty. It's mad Heath and Tyler
Adams afternoons news talks envy.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
Very good afternoons you It is four minutes to two.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
The TEXTA says, there already two hundred thousand people with
no interest in working jobs. Seeker as a joke, so
as the traffic light system. These people just apply to
be a rocket scientist three times a month. Guess what
they don't get The job. I'm a little bit confused
by that. Texan.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Yeah started off well, I don't know about the rocket
scientists part, but thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (38:25):
A point in there that I missed. It's got to say, yeah,
the juries out on UBI, yeah, certainly is allbiations yep.
But will the top party make make it to five
percent threshold? Only time will tell.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
Yeah, we'll find out in about a year's time. Right,
coming up after two o'clock, we want to have a
chat about screen time. Alarming research shows kids are getting
around six hours a day and that's doing bad things
to their brain. So what age do you think it's
okay to give a child a device? Oh, one hundred
and eighty ten eighty is the number to call?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
What about the cats?

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Talking with you all afternoon?

Speaker 1 (39:00):
It's Matt Heathen, Taylor Adams Afternoons US Talks.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
It'd be afternoon. Do you welcome back into the show?
Past two?

Speaker 2 (39:09):
Hey, I just want to say thank you so much
for your lovely messages on me finishing the marathon on
the weekends. So nice of people to text through those messages.
It was hard and I'm shagged and sore two days later,
but to get those nice messages has made my day,
so thank you. As always, there are the nasty people
who scream into the void with their negativity, desperate for

(39:31):
relevance and acknowledgment. Yep, texting hate it me for achieving
something hard that I didn't think I could achieve. Well,
you people, you are what is wrong with this country,
the first and much larger group who reach out to
celebrate someone's success what is right with the country? And look,
running a marathon was harder than I thought, and I

(39:52):
thought it would be very hard. So I have so
much admiration for those who do it so much better
than me. And there were so many people, and there
was people in their seventies. And there's something about doing
an organized run like that, where people have worked hard
to get to the that day and they're all doing it,
and they're out early in the morning and they're trying

(40:12):
something really hard. There's something quite beautiful about it. It's
that sort of shared shared spirit. And you know, you
do things not because they're easy, but because they're hard.
And you could just go out your door and run
a forty two k if you want it. You don't
have to pay, you don't have to I was thinking
about I threw it, flew one thousand kilometers and paid

(40:34):
three hundred and fifty bucks or something to run forty
two kilometers in Queenstown and then threw it, flew a
thousand flew a thousand kilometers back. Yeah, when I could
have just run out the door. But it's the doing
it with people that is so good. So anyway, I
thank you for your kind messages, and I've got to
say again thanks heaps to Kate from Clyde who I
met on the run, who looked after me with gels

(40:54):
and hazards and timings. She was just so onto it
with what a great person she was. Like Guardian Angel
that met me on the run, she's one of the
good ones as well. So anyway, enough about that, let's
move on with the show, right, Let's.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
Get into this one. So we have a chat about
screen time. New research is sounding and even louder alarm
over kids digital habit. So children are in the OECD
and now spending roughly six hours a day that includes
New Zealand of course on screen. So experts say that
is creating out sleep, active play, genuine social interaction and
what used to be a harmless distraction has become an

(41:28):
all day default and specialist now worn. The young brains
simply aren't built for that level of constant stimulation, and.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
It is a real concern. We've talked about this on
the show before, not for a few months. We talked
about similar, similar subjects, but this is the this new
science coming out is really really concerning how much it
damages kids development and it is literally making kids stupid.
And that is the last thing that parents want to

(41:58):
do to their children, right Yeah, And so I mean
the question is when do you allow your kids screen time?
Because it's not just giving them a phone when they're thirteen,
This is have, you know, handing them a iPad to
keep them quiet? Yeh, it's really bad, But what can

(42:19):
we do about it? And it's the pressure on parents
because parents work really freaking hard as well. So you've
got parents that are holding down two jobs and they
get home and they just need to rest as well
done naked, they're naked, and they've got this kid and
they've got the solution that's right there for the problem,
and the solution is to hand them an iPad. But

(42:40):
every time you do that, and the kid gets so
stimulated that they don't they can't deal with boredom in
any way, shape or form. So it actually you can
understand why parents do it, but it actually makes the
problem worse because as time goes on, kids desperately now
need the iPad because they haven't learned to entertain themselves.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Yeah, and you mentioned it briefly before it when we're
having a chat about the SOFIA while we were prepping,
you mentioned siblings. And I think that's a massive part
of it to anyone out there just with worth one child.
It's not being disparaging here, but that is a large part.
When you have brothers and sisters, there's that extra motivation
to come up with games, to go outside, to do
all those things I did as a kid with my
older brothers. We pade with stacks, we had you know,

(43:23):
we rode the dog when we were young enough out
in the orchard. That was nice, not so much for
the dog.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
We got told off for that.

Speaker 3 (43:28):
But you know, all these little games and things that
you do, and we you know, I was not in
the era that we had iPads, but we certainly had
a computer and it was just more interesting to go
out and do stuff with the bros.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
There is nothing more entertaining than having a sibling within
about two years of your age. Yep, my sons, yes,
because they just they were huge into sword fighting for
years and years. They were just outside sword fighting and
running and doing this stuff. But you know, families are
smaller now than they used to be. Yeah, a lot

(44:00):
of people believe it's too expensive. I mean it's quite
hard to run four kids these days like I had
when I was a kid.

Speaker 3 (44:04):
Yep, absolutely, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Do kids still play war when I was a kid.
When I was a kid, the thing you did is
you fashioned a stick into the shape of a gun,
and you ran round and you went.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
Such a great game, such a great game. Oh eight,
one hundred eighty ten eighty is that number to call?
So I love to your thoughts on this. How young
do you think is too young to give a child
a device? And if you're a parent out there with
young children, how hard is it and how much do
you feel that you need to rely on it just
to get a little bit of piece and quiet for
a couple of hours after work?

Speaker 2 (44:34):
Alternatively, do you think this is just the current media
beat up and we're always finding reasons to judge parents
and make parents feel bad about the way they're parenting.
Back in the day, they used to talk about TV babysitting,
using television as a babysitter. Has it really changed?

Speaker 4 (44:49):
Yep?

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Oh wait, maybe it hasn't. Maybe it's just the current
hysterical panic about parenting.

Speaker 3 (44:56):
Oh eight, one hundred eighty ten eighty is that number
to call? Nine two ninety two is the text. It
is twelve past two.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Wow your home of afternoon talk, Mad Heathen Taylor Adams
afternoons call, Oh eight hundred you talk.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
It is a quarter past two. We're talking about screen time.
How much is too much? And at what age do
you think it's appropriate to give a child a device?
So one hundred and eighteen eighty is the number to call.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
Sam, Welcome to the show.

Speaker 13 (45:22):
No, Hi, Matt, congratulations on finishing your marathon.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
Oh thank you so much. Sam, thank you for saying that.

Speaker 13 (45:29):
No problem. I'm just calling about the screen time. I
have a daughter who is a daycare teacher. She also
has two little boys, a three year old and an
eighteen months old, and she we have chat this morning.
She's desperately worried about all these children even coming to daycare,

(45:51):
that have just spent all their time on iPads because
she said, Mum, dow ferrel and if you don't give
them the iPad, she said, that absolutely lose it because
that's all they used to do. So she pot little boys,
they're very lucky. They live on a dear fun because
my daughter's husband is a dairy climmer and her biggest

(46:14):
worry at the moment is trying to get these two
who are not even at school age yet enrolled in
a local well it's quite close to her. It's a
country school that goes up to year seven and eight
and they don't let the kids have any iPads. And
she's going out of her way to get them enrolled

(46:35):
now at three and eighteen months old. Wow, because she
doesn't want a bar of it.

Speaker 6 (46:41):
Right.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
So at some schools they're even at school, they're giving
them the iPads and stuff and such. Yes, yes, well
that's not good. They're rewarding they reward right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 (46:54):
The iPad right, which is really wrong.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
It's interesting because we've talked to a few teachers about
this on a different topic. A teacher that was talking
about how hard it is to run a class of
primary school kids that you know, twenty five thirty kids
because the teacher, I can't remember my name. They just
can't concentrate, and they've never heard, they've never heard no,
so they just go, they just rack up until they

(47:19):
get what they want, because that's what they do to
their parents. They go go go go, go, go, go
go go, and they please and then they finally get
handed the phone or the iPad.

Speaker 13 (47:28):
Sosoe even said to me this morning, she said, Mum,
you know, even George, he gets the iPad very very
very seldomly at home because I think it's send him
out on the farm with his dad and the tractor
or you know, go up to the milkings and do whatever,
but not on the iPad. But she said, even though
he gets a really short time on the iPad from

(47:50):
time to time, she said, even that makes him feral,
because she says, when you want to take it away,
they're so fixated on it that they do not want
to give it up.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
It's too exciting. This the dopamine is too bad. How
did you say that your daughter had two sons? Was it?

Speaker 11 (48:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:06):
And what ages are they compared? How close are they
in age to each other?

Speaker 13 (48:11):
I've got three year old in eighteen months?

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so I think is the eighteen
month roll because that's kind of similar to my two sons,
and I think that might be a saving grace for
them because they will kind of they can kind of
have similar interests being that close in age. And it's
pretty pretty damn fun playing with your brother.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Yeah, I mean exactly.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
That might even be more fun than watching rubbish on
an iPad or playing games on an iPad. Playing with
your brother.

Speaker 13 (48:37):
It's just scary that, you know, yes, our kids get
to do outside stuff, but there's just so many people
who just don't give it there and it's easier to
put them on the iPad. And I yes, you know,
our kids had the Tellytubbies and whatever on TV, but

(48:58):
it was not the same these you know, these parents
are just putting their kids on YouTube and then it's
just video the video. They don't even know what they're watching.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Do you think some parents are at gunsand that. I'm
just trying to think back to my childhood and we
didn't have devices. But I'm pretty sure if there were
devices around like iPads, Mum would have given me one.
But by the very fact we didn't have one, that
we had the telling and we had the computer, and
there was time that we're allowed to do that, but
it wasn't as addictive. So to say, hey, go and

(49:30):
read a book or go play outside with your brother
was a lot easier to do then kids these days
who scream when they can't get there where your iPad fixed?

Speaker 13 (49:39):
Yeah? Absolutely, And I mean I've even stopped, you know,
in the evenings watching stuff on screens, because I've got
my stuff back into books, because I look at the
books and you know, the explanation of everything is so
much better than just you're watching the screen. You're not
picking up something else that's in the room or this

(49:59):
or that, but in the book they describe everything to you,
and it's just I just felt that it's filling my
mind so much more with stuffy and extra words and
things that I need to learn. Then watching an on screen, well.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
They do ct scans on people's brains when they're reading book,
because you know, you not only have to read, but
you have to picture. So much of your brain is
lit up by reading, and it is incredibly good. It's
like it's like a workout. Reading is like going to
the gym for your brain. It brings up, it builds
up brain muscles. It's an incredible, incredible thing reading. And
that's I mean, if kids can't even take not beyond

(50:39):
you know, I've heard this as well. Good luck getting
them to read Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings
or something. Now, yeah, I mentionine trying to hand a
kid that can hardly bear being off their iPad for
thirty seconds a big chunky book. Yeah, like the deathly hellos.
Tell them to read that. Good luck? Hey, thank you
so much? Fair you know you finished them, you finished.

Speaker 13 (51:01):
It is quite It is quite sad though that you know,
we're stealing these children of those opportunities of speaking their
minds and their brains grown. Instead, you're giving them an
iPad and basically turning them into I don't know, cat tato.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
Yeah. Yeah, Well, good luck with your daughter's struggles at daycare.
And I'm sure her two boys will will will benefit
from being on a dairy farm and having a sibling
so close in age. And good luck, Sam, Thank you.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Oh, eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to call.
Great call from Sam. But what do you say if
you're a parent out there? How hard is it when
your child wants the iPad? If you just want a
bit of a breather at night, and have you tried
to limit screen time? Nine nine text twenty two past two.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Mad Heathen Tyler Adams.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
Afternoons call Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty on news
Talk ZV.

Speaker 3 (51:53):
Forvery Good afternoon. We are talking about kids in screen time.
So some pretty alarming research coming out that kids on
average have about six hours screen time and that does
terrible things for the brain. I love to hear from you, Oh,
eight hundred eighty ten.

Speaker 2 (52:06):
Eighty how the sexes guys? I would love someone on
your could dig up. The audio from one of The
Weekend Collective regular guests on the exact topic was hilarious
but thought provoking. Comparison would have been maybe three years ago.
Though okay, okay, great show the Weekend Collective, but I
don't think we've got access to one three years ago.

Speaker 3 (52:23):
It's a deep dive into the Cilia Lynn.

Speaker 2 (52:25):
It was along the lines of having found the perfect
solution to keeping their kids quiet and entertained, allowing me
to get on with my busy life. I just give
them a glass of wine to start with it. I
just give them a little bit. Then, when I looked
the glass, took the glass away, they would complain they
didn't have enough, and all their friends got more. So
I gave them some more wine. Probably now as the
amount of wine that they need each day to stay

(52:46):
calm and leave me in peace has increased and through
a mass of tantrum, if I didn't give them a bottle.
I mean, that's that's what you're doing.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Yep, that's a good analogy. So it's just giving them
a little bit more of the drive that they so
desperately crave.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, yeah, I mean that's I mean, is it that
different giving them If it's making them dumber, as the
study suggests out of Australia, then is it any better
than giving them a glass of wine?

Speaker 3 (53:10):
Yeah? Good question. Rick.

Speaker 6 (53:11):
How are you make good thanks yourself?

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Yeah, very well. So you reckon there was a bit
of a difference between your daughters and son.

Speaker 6 (53:20):
Yeah, correct, correct, yep. I don't know whether just because
they were always you know, falling on moms the mom's
apron and whatnot in the kitchen and I me and
the younger are outside don't want to do things or not.
But I give my son he it was more of
the the one that would really, really like it. We

(53:41):
gave them one of those leaps thought like all the girls,
all the kids had the same leap frog thing when
they were younger, but it was only learning stuff. There's
no free choice to stuff or anything there. And it
would have been about four years old for and half right.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
And just sorry, just quickly, what's the leap frog? Is
that like a educational show software?

Speaker 6 (54:01):
Well, it's like it's like it's like an iPad or
one of those pad things, but it's strictly only got
the leap breath from program thing on it. That's all
about learning only. But also yeah, yeah, so so what
happened was they you know, we get news and whatnot,

(54:22):
and you know, fast forward a few years to well
the young fella would got to about seven or eight.
We noticed he was really starting to you know, after
school he'd ask if we can jump on it, your
homework everything, yep, yep, sweet and jump on it and
then become a habit of like it was all good
from going on. He had great attitudes. It's like previous

(54:46):
people said that it was a timent on seeing it off.
Oh man, you got a duckade because if it's only
flying because he doesn't want to give it up. So
we cut him down, my wife and I was seven
down and we had a yarn with the his sister
made looks, do you want this to vite or or
you don't want it? There's obviously the answers that you

(55:07):
wanted well to check this attitude that at the end
of it which not going to give it to you, son,
dance will be no resigned. So instead of just having
free reign in the afternoon, we first started him off
on two hours, and for we had really explained and
stressed the point about him losing it as a punishment

(55:29):
for the behavior as such. And then the long story short, yeah,
the two hours worked for about three or four months,
and then three attitude had ugly out and then we
just cut it right back to the bar and half
out sorry hours. And then on the weekend we had

(55:49):
to sit him down and make a deal with him
as such, like the compromise, So he had to control
in the way and he got three hours on any
given day on the weekend divided, he only had an
hour after school any attitude, and he'd lose an hour
over the weekend, right.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
So, and that worked. So at the end of the
hour he would hand it over without trouble.

Speaker 6 (56:15):
Yeah, but come on hours up mate, really yeah? Or
you know I just want to live life then or
come back and just carrying on you lose it.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
And and what was the attitude either side of that
after that, because a lot of people say that, you know,
it's not just the time on, it's what the kids
like after they get off. It just changes their ability
to enjoy anything else.

Speaker 6 (56:40):
Yeah. Yeah, that was a big thing we noticed too,
was that once we'd actually stick the time down during
you know, right down to the hour and week, his
attitude afterwards and stuff. He was keen to do other
stuff again. You know, he's a dead can go golfing,
Let to go, you know. And I was like, hey,
it seems to be like golf. That's good son down

(57:06):
to the ground. But yes, And and the weekends because
you know, Tuesday he had forty training, so jam is
jam packed on Tuesday. The Thursday, same thing. Well, then
Saturday he had rugby, so you know it was a
big holes. The whole band would go out and what
looks sports and everything, so he ended up being but

(57:27):
naked to even players the game. We couldn't bet as
you're in as device is that knack it up. There's
some rugby and stuff. He ended up just watching TV
or whatever in the round, just tilling out and then
he might have it in an hour or two on
the Sunday, and his attitude fully changed man for the better. Right, Well,
did you worried about it?

Speaker 14 (57:46):
Man?

Speaker 6 (57:48):
Yeah, my wife's lit and fully attested. Would never never
met the kids another like that. This is how we
sort of don't just look through it as way or
you know, give them more anten of but they look
they feel like they're winning out of the dead or
getting fifty fifty more instead of just know you're not
having it and throw the cords at costous of that,

(58:08):
I'll get.

Speaker 3 (58:08):
On you, right, Yeah, having that incentive, I can see
how that would be that you say, hey, if you
playball now, you know, it's almost like the that marshmallow experiment.
Isn't it your playball now? And you're going to get
a little bit extra on the weekend. Certainly a good strategy.
But I don't know if Rick was talking about gaming,
but that was always the one that got me as
a kid was computer games and to have a time

(58:31):
limit to say, right at the end of this hour,
know whre snow butts. You've got to put that down.
Really really upset me because you're in the middle of
a mission. I like, mum, I've still going to finish
this mission. I'm right in the middle. I can't save
it right here. You've got to give me another twenty minutes,
which that nut. If you don't get off, I'm going
to cut the cord.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
I read this bot by this New Zealander I try
to remember who he is. And it was on kids
and anxiety and stuff. It's a great book. I think
it was an ex policeman, but I look into it.
But anyway, he was talking about one way to do
kids is to ask them when do you think you'll
be finished? So you can come over here to ask them.
So nice because when you just grab it off them,

(59:07):
I'll look it up. I look up the theory on it.
When you just grab it off, and it creates an
even bigger desire for it. Yeah, but if you put
the agency on them so they choose when to get
off it, then they get a buzz by doing the
right thing. So they get a dopamine hit from doing
the right thing and getting off and join the family.
So if they're sitting there on it. You go, when
do you think you come down and join the join

(59:28):
the family. We're waiting for you. Then, I mean, this
will sound naive to people have got you know, kids
that are thirteen forty, and they go, this will never work.
It sounds it sounds that the kids will just stay
on there. But the theory on it is that they
if you set up in a way that they can
choose to do it, which may be the thing that
you know with Reck was talking about because he choose,
the kid could choose to go off and then he'd

(59:49):
get the reward for it. Yeah, it was a bit
more agency for the kid and as a result didn't
create this crazy desire for it.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
Yeah, I can definitely see sense in that. Oh eight
one hundred and eighty ten eighty is that number to call.
I'd love to hear from you. If you've got young children,
how do you get them off the screens? Nine two
nine two is their text on me headlines with railing
coming up off the guy is.

Speaker 12 (01:00:11):
Use talks at the headlines with blue bubble taxis it's
no trouble with a blue bubble. A community's reeling after
a man and three children have died in a house
fire in Manu Witthu, Sanson on Saturday. Police say it's
too early to determine the fire's cause. A call to
join the movement embraced by New Zealand's first zero crystalline

(01:00:32):
silica factory, which is open today in Nelson. It means
staff don't risk getting the irreversible lung disease silicosis from
working with engineered stone. The Greens are promising to revoke
fast track permits for coal, hard rock, gold and seabed
mining if it gets into government. It says mining doesn't
provide job certainty and destroys the environment. Our population has

(01:00:56):
grown less than one percent in the past year to
about five point three million people. Fertilities fall into one
point five to five births per woman, but infant mortality
has risen from four point eight eight six deaths per
one thousand live births to five point four four For
surprise and cancer symptoms you should know about, according to

(01:01:17):
an oncologist Seymour at zid Herald Premium. Now back to
matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
Thank you very much, Ray Lean Lance Burdett was the person,
wasn't it? Yes, the writer, the Kiwi guy X police officer.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
Right, yeah, I follow him on Facebook. Actually fascinating individual
and he's just written a book. I think it's called
It's a Worry about Anxiety and Younger People.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah, yeah, that's the book. It's fantastic. But yeah, his
advice was and we'll reach out to him to get
it clarified because I'm just remembering, but it was basically
giving the kids for engineering ways that the kids have
the agency to choose to get off the devices and
therefore they can feel positive about it out of it

(01:02:00):
as opposed to just being a confrontation and they just
feel like something's been taken off them.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. We wiring the
brain so to speak.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Yeah, what you say is when can you join us?
When would you like to join us? You know? When
would you like to put that down and come and
join us? You know? And apparently it works.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
And we put a message in with Lance, so hopefully
we can have a chat to them before this hour
is out.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Trevis says, hey, boys, we talk about children on screens,
which is justified a lot, but we never discussed the
amount of time adults spend on the screens. I think
a lot of people would be shocked about the time
spent by grown ups. Treva. Yeah, I mean that's the
thing as well. Like if you're just sitting on the couch,
and I've been guilty of this, You're supposed to be
spending quality time with your family and you're sitting on
the couch on your phone, then what do you think

(01:02:44):
your kids are going to do?

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
Yeah? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
You can't. You can't just put your phone down and
yell at them to get off their phone, because you've
demonstrated the way to live your life, haven't you Renee?
Welcome to the show.

Speaker 14 (01:02:55):
Hello, how are we saying?

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
Good? Thanks for calling us today. Your thoughts on this?

Speaker 14 (01:03:01):
It's interesting I can kind of say both sides. I've
gotten eleven year old and a nine year old, and look,
we tried our hardest. I'm an ex Eca teacher, and
I understood the importance of you know, keeping the muth
screens when they're younger, But it really does get harder
once you start to work. I work full time shift work.

(01:03:25):
My husband owns the gold business. You're running a house,
you know, like it is really really hard. But I suppose, yes,
there's that million dollar question as winners the right age,
I don't know if there is. It does worry me
sometimes when I see, you know, mums in the mall
and there's you know, like an eighteen month old sitting

(01:03:47):
in a pram, you know, holding a phone, watching watching YouTube,
and you're just like, oh no, but you know she's
having her downtime. But just to see way off one
hundred percent agree with what you guys are talking about.
In relation to last we were massive advocates for giving
a time frame. Yes you can you can watch this,

(01:04:09):
or you can go at this, but you have it
for half an hour. I would always give a time warning,
you know, like you've got five minutes or you've got
ten minutes to go buddy. Yep, cool, awesome, Yep. Would
still get the arguments. But your children thrive and crave
routines and boundaries, so you sort of if you can

(01:04:31):
encompass that and wrap them with those, I think sometimes
it is easier to prive them away from those devices.
But yeah, it's hard. It's hard, especially when they're they're
being asked to have them at primary school from I

(01:04:52):
believe it's year four and right through to Yeah, I
spoke high school we've just transitioned to intermediate, and first
year of intermediate, my son came home at the start
of the year and said, everyone that's on their screens
at lunch time. And I was like, no, what are
we doing? What are we you know, what have we lost?

(01:05:15):
We've lost that play and that children interacting with each
other and they don't know how to talk to each other.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
It's a concern you talk about Renee about you know, parents,
they're busy and they've got a lot of you know,
they don't have a lot of time, they're tired, they're
both parents working, all that, all that kind of stuff.
But the study points out that it doesn't solve the
problem because they become less and less able to entertain

(01:05:45):
themselves and they need more and more to be entertained.
So it's it's kind of end up biting you in
the what's the same biting.

Speaker 14 (01:05:53):
You in the in the in the jackson.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Or something, because because you know, if your kids, if
your kids do get bored, and boredom is great for
the mind, and and people invent things when they're boored,
vent ideas, and so if they're always going to the
phone or the going to the iPad, for their entertainment
and they never learned that idea, so they're always going
to have it and they're always going to be a problem.
So yeah, I mean I remember, I remember, I remember

(01:06:21):
my dad saying to me once I came into and
I said it on board, and he said, that's interesting, board,
go outside. And it was basically the idea that it's
a new idea that your parents are in charge of
entertaining you. Was what I would say. That is that
is a new development that that kids that parents owe

(01:06:41):
their kids not to be bored. Yeah, I mean, kild
just be bored kids, that's that's not I'll put a
roof of your head. I feared you. I love you.
I'm a good parent, but I'm not your I'm not
here to provide your entertainment.

Speaker 3 (01:06:54):
Spot on. That was it. It was my parents here,
get out of the house. I don't care what you do,
but you're not allowed in the house. It's a nice day,
it's a weekend. Go and entertain yourself.

Speaker 14 (01:07:02):
Yeah, we are where we're from advocates. I'm firm, but
fear i'd say appearance in the style. But you are right,
you don't give them the skills to learn how to
explore and interact and find fun and then they don't
know how to do it. So yeah, in a way,

(01:07:25):
you sort of are sending them up to style. But yeah,
I've had that discussion on a constant basis with Miam,
especially my eleven year old now because we don't do
gaming or anything like that. There's no playchase, PlayStations or
anything like that. So but yeah, I'm just like, well,
I don't really care. You can go and find something
to do. You know how to find done, so sort
of go and find it. But yeah, it's it's hard.

(01:07:48):
It's hard. I think it's hard being appearing in the
stand age unfortunately.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
Yeah, yeah, it is. Well, there's expectations on parents as well.
I mean, I know I just thought about that but
until just recently, but there was never an expectation on
my parents to entertain me and never ever ever thought
that that was their job. Yeah, and they were great parents.
Yeah yeah, but that is now and if you take
a kid out to a restaurant, then the expectation is

(01:08:14):
that you entertain them because you know, mum and dad
are having dinner or whatever. You're having dinner with your friends,
So the expectation is that your kids couldn't possibly sit
there and entertain themselves without being a dick. It's like, no,
you're at a restaurant, eat some food and shut up.

Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Yeah, play the little maids that you used to get
in common.

Speaker 6 (01:08:31):
Go.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
But you're right. Whenever I said I'm bored, the answer
I got was not my problem. Go and figure something out, Mike.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
I always thought taking my kids out to restaurants was
a treat for them. But as they've gotten older, they
both of them said to me, oh god, going for
dinner was so boring. Just sitting there where mum and
dad talked about stuff. It was so boring. We used
to do read it. So, oh my god, you didn't
like going to all those nice restaurants between you there,
it was horrible.

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
Spend all that money. Come on, mom and dad, wrap
it up on board, all right. Take you more of
your calls. We've got full boards at the moment. If
you can't get through, keep trying. But screen time, what
do you do in your household? Do you limit it?
Or is it just a situation where you need to
give the kids the iPad to get a bit of
RNR So to speak, it is sixteen to three back
in a mow.

Speaker 4 (01:09:15):
The issues that affect you and a bit of fun
along the way. Matt Heath and Taylor Adams afternoons news talks.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
They'd be very good afternoon, ju it is thirteen to three,
having a great discussion about screen time and kids. Some
pretty alarming research coming out about what it does to kids' brains.
But can you hear what you do in your household?

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
Yeah, a lot of scream time is making kids dumber. Unfortunately,
give them both, but be smart about it. They need
some time otherwise they get isolated from friends and trends.
This is true, but make sure they're also getting their
dose of outside time. Lego dolls, drawing, remote control cars, bikes, etc.
Don't always have to be doing everything with them, but

(01:09:53):
make sure they're available to them. That's an interesting one.
I wonder because we all think Lego is great for kids,
and I was obsessed with Lego and so are my kids.
Says absolutely.

Speaker 9 (01:10:03):
Sis.

Speaker 2 (01:10:03):
We've got a Lego Avalanche at our house.

Speaker 3 (01:10:05):
It's a great thing Lego, But as.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
Minecraft, you need to from from Lego. I mean, you
know that there are better things online than other things online, right, Yeah?
Just watching some punishing video online is pretty bad or
playing like a really stupid game, but created there are
creative games online, yep.

Speaker 3 (01:10:20):
And games do wonderful things for the brain within moderation,
as you say, certain games like Minecraft. Clearly, I think
there are studies when you look at Minecraft creative games. Yeah, yeah,
those great things for the brain.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
So it might not just be the time, it's actually
what they're doing online as as well.

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Stu, how are you?

Speaker 11 (01:10:39):
Oh good?

Speaker 15 (01:10:40):
Thanks Toyler. I've got in a slightly different view. I
think I'm sixty five, and I just I don't think
we're in a position to judge this too too much
because you know, when I was ten, my grandparents told
me I shouldn't listen to the radio because it's going.

Speaker 11 (01:10:59):
To drive me.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
Good advice, you know.

Speaker 15 (01:11:03):
And things have changed, are changing so quickly that who's
to say that we know the answers. I'm not being,
you know, like born in nineteen sixty There's been so
much change in my life in my lifetime. I can
remember in color TV can ballets, to can watch the
test the test pattern on my sister's TV because it

(01:11:24):
was such an amazing thing to see. And now and
now things are evolving so quickly that our kids are
at school learning about jobs, that the learning stuff that's
obsolete by the time they finish school because things have
changed so much. And so if we've got all these
screens and things here, it's a balancing thing. But when
I was a kid, we used to go out and

(01:11:45):
shoot shoot.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
People, not people, right, yeah, you know what you played war?

Speaker 15 (01:11:51):
We played war or the names we're not know And
so all that happens now is we swap it for
a screen and we blow people up and shoot people
and all those things. And so it's a balancing thing,
isn't it. I mean, it's certainly not a it's certainly
not a place to just throw the kids to look after,

(01:12:15):
for them to be looked after instead of the baby
system because you haven't got time to do it. You know,
my son, his grand kids they're at the rugby the
other day, at the rugby League tongue.

Speaker 11 (01:12:25):
Some are.

Speaker 15 (01:12:28):
No, no, no, some are in New Zealand game and
but they still have screen time. But it's about balancing,
it has to be.

Speaker 2 (01:12:39):
Yeah, there's there's no doubt that there's Adults and older
people have always been panicking about the state of what
kids have been doing. I've told the story before on
the show that my mum, her dad used to yell
at her for reading too much. Get outside, you're reading
too much. So you know, it's always it's always been
the case, and you know, you read all the way
back to ancient Rome. There's older people complaining about the

(01:13:00):
kids not being disciplined enough, and they're you know, learning
to fight properly, So there's no doubt about it. I
guess with this thing that's a bit different, stew is
that the entertainment on these iPads is just so entertaining,
that the and the dopamine hits are so big that
and everything is provided for them within them that nothing

(01:13:23):
else can compare in terms of entertainment value. So you
talk about running around and playing while we used to
call it war when I was a kid, you had
to make the rules up and you had to interact
with the other kids. You had to invent the game
pretty much. And that's using intelligence and developing intelligence and
developing social skills and things that you can use utilize

(01:13:45):
later in life and workplaces or you know, throughout your life,
which maybe isn't the case when you're just playing a
game on an iPad or entertainment iPad that is just
engineered by large corporations to be so addictive and so
exciting that you know, it's sort of zombie. ZOMBI sifies you. So,
I don't know. Parents have always been worrying, and adults

(01:14:07):
have already worrying about kids. But that doesn't mean that
at some point the worry is justified, if you know
what I mean.

Speaker 15 (01:14:14):
It's balanced, though, isn't it. I mean, how many times
you've taken your kids out for dinner and I've done
the same and you sit there and other people out
as a family, four of them, mom and dad and
two kids, and everyone's on the device.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
Yeah, suppressing, So.

Speaker 15 (01:14:29):
Yeah, and they don't care. That's what they do. So
it's about you're going to You've got different skills of
parents brought up in different ways where they want to limit,
they want to develop the things that kids are exposed to,
and others don't give a crap because it just makes
them quiet.

Speaker 2 (01:14:47):
Yeah. Yeah, Well that's true, isn't it. There's always there's
always been that. There's always been parents that give more
and less of a crap. Yeah, what's going on exactly?

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
There would have been a lot of parents out there,
Stew that said to their kids back in your day,
you can listen to all the radio you want, even
if it's bad for your ears, whereas your parents said, no,
only so much radio, stew.

Speaker 15 (01:15:07):
But you know my grandparents to be fair. One little gem,
little gem, I'll leave you with My mother told me,
my mother of the rest. She died when I was young,
but she told me that will was going to have
helen the handcut when we got rid of when we
invented tea bags and airplanes. And I said, what are
you talking about? She said, when we made tea bags,

(01:15:29):
no one sat down and brewed a cup of tea
and sat around to talk.

Speaker 16 (01:15:31):
At the table.

Speaker 15 (01:15:32):
And when we invented planes, when we invented planes instead
of instead of trains, how many times did you fly
on a on a plane and sit next to someone
and not say a word the whole time you're.

Speaker 3 (01:15:45):
On that plane?

Speaker 15 (01:15:46):
On a train, you went and sand on a train,
and you walked on in the seats footground, and sometimes
you're sitting facing someone and no matter how ignorant you were,
spot on.

Speaker 4 (01:15:55):
Talk to them.

Speaker 2 (01:15:55):
Yet And I went wrong with the tea bags train.

Speaker 3 (01:15:58):
It's seven to three, the issues that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:02):
Affect you, and a bit of fun along the way.
Matt Heath and Tyler Adams as used talks.

Speaker 12 (01:16:07):
They'd be.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
It's been a great discussion, but we haven't solved the
screen time problem as you'd expect. I think parents, though,
should let themselves off the howk It's your job to feed,
love and house your kids, not to entertain them. Let
them get bored. It's really really good for them to
be bored.

Speaker 3 (01:16:24):
Yeah, nicely said, made great discussion, Thank you very much.
Coming up after three o'clock, we want to talk about
the dating game in New Zealand. Just how bad a
Key We men? Pretty bad according to some woman. Getting
your views.

Speaker 4 (01:16:34):
Next, your new homes are instateful and entertaining talk. It's
Mattie and Taylor Adams afternoons on news Talk sebby afternoon.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
Welcome back. It is seven past three. Awesome to have
your company as always, so this is going to be
an interesting discussion Key We Men useless at dating. This
is after an article saying some women in New Zealand
are calling out what they see as major emotional immaturity
in Key We men and it's making dating feel shallow.
Passive and disappointing. They say, so this was or the

(01:17:10):
One of the women quoted was Ashley Tabor. She's from America,
she's been here for five years, and she says that
they found the local dating culture overly relaxed, with few
men showing real initiative or vulnerability. And she said that
the New Zealand's famelessly easy going social norms translate into
lukewarm romantic effort.

Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
Ah, well screw her.

Speaker 3 (01:17:31):
Yeah, well she's gone now. Yeah, she's there to find.

Speaker 2 (01:17:35):
Her flew in and blamed ki we men for not
liking her.

Speaker 3 (01:17:38):
Yeah, that's exactly what she did.

Speaker 2 (01:17:40):
Yeah, if you struggle to find someone, is it because
the options are bad? Or is it because you are
a bad option? As the saying goes are key we
men really useless at dating? I mean a lot of
us seem to have partners. You've got one, yep, I've
got one.

Speaker 3 (01:17:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
So you know, we managed to find some people.

Speaker 3 (01:17:56):
Good success right in this studio.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
I mean, are we are we useless at dating? Or
is that down to earth? No fast way about us
and daring?

Speaker 3 (01:18:04):
Yeah, I just think expectations for a lot of people
out there in the dating pool and you know, I
can say this because I haven't been on Tinder for
a good ten years since I've got together with Mate,
so I've been out of the game for a long time.
But it seems like from what I see online and
what I hear from friends, expectations are through the roof.
They are looking for the perfect man, the prince charming

(01:18:26):
that earns good money and he is, you know, got
all the social norms, sex foot over, sex foot, blue eyes,
and he's just a perfect specimen. And I don't know
about you, mate, but you know, those those men a
few and far between.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
Yeah, No, it's better to find a you know, a
matter of tiler.

Speaker 3 (01:18:46):
I was going to say that there's a couple in
the studio, but you know we're taken. Sorry, ladies, but.

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
This good there's good eating in the Matt and Tyler
sort of range of people. Not not perfect, but'll but
I'll give you a good life.

Speaker 3 (01:19:00):
Yeah, a good around that you know we're going to
trusted at the crease to do something.

Speaker 16 (01:19:04):
Then.

Speaker 2 (01:19:04):
Yeah, so so there's this fear, uh, ladies, ken we
mean useless at dating?

Speaker 17 (01:19:11):
Then?

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
Is then is there not enough stock out there for you?
Is there not enough good men? Out there for you. Yeah,
or and look, let's flip it around for men as
well as there are the key we woman letting you
down in the dating front.

Speaker 3 (01:19:27):
Yeah, come on through under at eighty ten eighty. That
must be a big part of it. It takes two
to ten go as they say, so I'm sure it
goes the other way around. But I wonder if it's
part of it is the gamification of dating as well,
that when you've got something like Tinder, you've got well
so called multiple options. Maybe you don't, but it's if
something doesn't work out, then you just pull out your

(01:19:47):
phone and starts wiping again and hopefully within a couple
of days you get another couple of matches and you
try to try again.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
Yeah, but I think you know they've done studies and
to we talked about for fessis Scott Galloway has talked
about this before, but that it ends up just the
same people dating everyone. So on dating apps, women pick
the same guys over and over, the same guy over
and over again. A very small pool of guys gets
picked by the same woman over again, and then those

(01:20:15):
small pool of guys just go off and behave terribly
over and over again. Yeah, Well everyone else just sort
of swipes through and eventually gives up.

Speaker 3 (01:20:23):
Yeah, yeah, Oh eight hundred eighty ten and eighty. If
you are currently in the dating game, love to hear
your experiences. So are k We men emotionally stunted when
it comes to dating? And on the flip side of it,
guys who are listening out there, what is it like
when it comes to the woman that you're meeting? Oh
eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number to call?
Nine two ninety two is the text number beg very shortly.

(01:20:45):
It is ten pass three. On news Talk zid Bey
it is thirteen past three. So we're talking about the
dating scene in New Zealand at the moment. An article
today that quotes many women who say New Zealand men
are emotionally stunted and they've left the country to try
and find a bit of dating pool. So what do
you say about that? Oh, eighte hundred eighty ten eighty
is the number to call?

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
This Texas says, hey, guys, I married a lovely Chinese woman.
I found that ki We women are too self entitled
and what everything Now? None seemed to be interested in
the hard yards and I want to be treated like queens.

Speaker 3 (01:21:19):
Keep those teas coming through. On nine two ninety two.

Speaker 2 (01:21:21):
That woman that you're talking about was probably high maintenance
and there's high expectations. Yeah, my sister says, tinder men
holding what ah Right, my sister says, tinder men holding
a snappy snapper is an easy swipe?

Speaker 4 (01:21:36):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:21:37):
They like that, an easy swipe to the left or right.
I think that sounds like they want to see a snapper.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
That's the secondary question for this hour. Then if you're
a woman and you're on a on an app and
you see a man standing there holding a snapper, do
you swipe? Which way? Do you swipe on that?

Speaker 3 (01:21:54):
You see a lot of those photos, SOB told, SOB told,
I've been on Twitter for a week while.

Speaker 2 (01:21:58):
Do you like, Well, it depends are you swiping the
snapper or the man?

Speaker 4 (01:22:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:22:01):
Oh? Eight one hundred and eighty ten eighty is a
number of cool.

Speaker 2 (01:22:03):
Mary, welcome to the show.

Speaker 5 (01:22:06):
Hi there. I'm probably going to get canfulled by most
women open the fifty, but I'm just going to say it. So, Look,
I think the thing is is my girlfriends, though I'm
a fully you know, long term relationship being together between years.
I've got a number of female friends around my age
group from ound in the fifties, and all they're saying

(01:22:26):
is that they can't find a decent man because the
guys their age are looking for the younger woman and
then only the old cottus they are out there, and
so it's really difficult. I think it's a it's a
it's a two way thing. I mean, women are fairly
in the fend of these days. So if you want
to weekened miles a woman within.

Speaker 15 (01:22:45):
Go, Yeah, it's pretty difficult.

Speaker 6 (01:22:47):
I think.

Speaker 11 (01:22:48):
I think it's both sides that both think it's just
few With me, I.

Speaker 5 (01:22:51):
Think the women need to calm down a bit and
balance out their needs and requirements rather than just depending.

Speaker 17 (01:22:57):
On the guy.

Speaker 5 (01:22:58):
You know, they need to you know, be themselves rather
than rely on a guy to buy them flowers and
things like that. So I think it's a two way stress.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
If you're if you're looking for a person you want
to spend a lot of time with, I mean as
opposed to just hook up apps or whatever or hooking up.
Don't you want someone that's willing to show that. Isn't
that part of it? You know, the man paying for
dinner and flowers and stuff part showing that they're willing
to make an investment.

Speaker 5 (01:23:27):
What's happening well, perstly for me and my friends, know,
because we're abviously independent and we probably earned quite a
decent amount of money, we're not into that. I think
it's more around the emotional intelligence. There's more more algo
rather than you know, for a lying on a guy.
I think it's just having somebody that's on the same

(01:23:47):
level and don't think they're around, especially in the perspects
I'll be honest with you. You know, why would you go
for somebody your own mayor if you can go for
somebody younger and so being you end up with the
really old ones like the sixty bis No, no, just
sixty five year olds. But you know, yeah, I think
it's difficult.

Speaker 2 (01:24:05):
I'm from email perspective. Do you also want to go
younger or is it only only the dirty old men?

Speaker 17 (01:24:18):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:24:18):
I no, No, you wouldn't want to go younger.

Speaker 3 (01:24:21):
Yeah, because that would be where the emotional immaturity comes in.
That if you are like, what's her name actually in
this article and she's going ten years to junior, then
that might be a problem there with the old immaturity,
that's a problem.

Speaker 5 (01:24:35):
Look in the mirror. I mean, of course the sexteen
years younger than you. Yeah, yeah, I think, Well, my
experience with my girlfriends really trying to find somebody their
own age. I'm not too old. It's just difficult. But
I think I think that's we compromise and also trying

(01:24:55):
to find a bit of a balance between what your
needs are. And then she's just saying, hey, look, you
know if they take some of the boxes, then that's
taking none of them, because you.

Speaker 2 (01:25:04):
Can waste your entire life looking for the perfect person
that may or may not exist. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:25:13):
Yeah, I'm going to say, I mean casting my mind
back ten years ago.

Speaker 10 (01:25:16):
Mary.

Speaker 3 (01:25:16):
The big thing I found when I was in the
dating game is I couldn't deal with the games that
got played. There were all these kind of rules that
people were telling me about that you can't message back
in a certain time period and vice versa. And I
just got completely over that. And then when I met
Mayve and she takes back straight away that this is
the one, this is it, this is the girl, because
there was no you know that the games just are

(01:25:38):
so weird, like, well, why I put all those rules
in place. Does it make you seem too eager? If
you apply too fast.

Speaker 5 (01:25:46):
You might be limited the time.

Speaker 2 (01:25:50):
Yeah, yeah, thanks for you call Mary. This person is
an interesting point. The problem is we women tend not
to like a man romantically the first time we meet them.
We need to persevere a few more dates, and we
shouldn't expect me to pay for dinner on these early dates.
From apps, men, you need to stop paying for everything
as most women have made up their mind that aren't
going to date the man anyway, you'd still expect a

(01:26:12):
free meal, So try to establish if you're having a
second date or not before paying the bill. So that's
from Samantha. But that's an interesting idea though, because I
would think that you have to don't.

Speaker 3 (01:26:23):
You pay, because that's it'sactional like this, you know, because
that's saying I'm only going to pay for this meal.
If you agree to a second date, I'll just pay anyway,
with the rest that it might not work out.

Speaker 2 (01:26:32):
If you ask someone out on the date, right then
you have to pay because you've asked them out, and
then you know wherever it's going because you've you've you
have asked them to go out of their way to
spend some time with you, so you pay for it.
That's the way it.

Speaker 3 (01:26:48):
Works, even vice versa though. I mean, like, if I
was in that situation and the woman asked me out
for a date, I think I'd still like to pay.

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
Yeah, oh yeah, you got to pay if you're the guy.

Speaker 3 (01:26:57):
Yeah, of course, where you know, there's not being weirdly chivalrous,
and that's just the thing that you've got to do.
You can't allow the female to pay on the first date.
That's crazy talk. You'll never see them again. You've never
see them again at all. That's your first opportunity to
make a good ambridge.

Speaker 2 (01:27:13):
But isn't it a nice thing to do?

Speaker 11 (01:27:14):
Though?

Speaker 2 (01:27:15):
It's not whether it's it's not a play or as
you say, Tyler, a game or anything. Yeah, it's just
pay for the date because you've gone out on it.
Just pay for it, shut up. Yeah, and what it's
not about what you get out of it? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:27:29):
Anyway, Oh wait, one hundred and eighty ten eighty love
to hear your thoughts on that. If you are in
the dating game, does it get a bit awkward about
who pays? And should the man pay for the first date?

Speaker 11 (01:27:37):
Hi?

Speaker 2 (01:27:38):
Guys, I found online dating. Okay, the odds are good,
but occasionally the goods are odd. That's from Makaylin.

Speaker 3 (01:27:43):
That's pretty good. It is twenty bars three. Taking more
of your calls.

Speaker 4 (01:27:46):
Next, Matt Heathan Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred
and eighty ten eighty On Youth Talk ZV it.

Speaker 3 (01:27:56):
Is twenty three pass three. So what is the dating
game like in New Zealand? At the moment? On the
back of an article, American woman she's been here five years,
She calls New Zealand guys emotionally stunted. So she's left
the country because she can't find a partner. But what
do you say, really keen to have a chat with you?
On eight hundred and eighty ten eighty.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
The sexer says, when you've been to Paris, Milan and Rome,
then you return to New Zealand. Ken, we mean, are
real slobs in their track pants, crocs worse? White birkenstocks
and socks. White birkenstocks and socks. Has this person seen me?
I'm a big fan of white birkenstocks and socks.

Speaker 3 (01:28:27):
That's trendy now, but I mean it's absolutely true.

Speaker 2 (01:28:29):
If you go you know, I was in Paris not
so long ago, and I couldn't believe how stylish everyone was.
You'd see some dude riding past on a bike with
a three and a half thousand dollars suit, smoking a cigarette, look,
just looking really spectacular. Yeah, but that person may be
a bit of a deck Yep.

Speaker 3 (01:28:45):
True.

Speaker 2 (01:28:46):
And there's something isn't there something good about the casual
nature of unpretentious nature of Kiwi men.

Speaker 3 (01:28:51):
I like it. Yeah, I'm going to say something controversial here. Yeah,
I think Aucklanders are better put together than Contebriance. I've
just noticed that since I've been up here, Auckland doers
tend to make more of an effort with the address,
whereas christ Church people a little bit slobbish, a little
bit slabbish.

Speaker 2 (01:29:07):
Well, if you go to my home, talent to need
and gets another level of slabbish.

Speaker 3 (01:29:10):
Yeah it does actually, And there the south you go
the wis it gets.

Speaker 2 (01:29:13):
Head over to the coast and that's a good level
of sloabbish.

Speaker 3 (01:29:16):
Yeah, anything goes over there.

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
But is it slobbish or is it you know, you're relaxed,
a lack of pretense.

Speaker 3 (01:29:22):
Yeah, you're comfortable in your own skin.

Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
John welcome to the show.

Speaker 11 (01:29:26):
Yeah, good afternoon, just driving along listening to you guys.
And the previous lady was on the on the on
your show, I'd be watching with an old man. I'm
sixty six dating?

Speaker 2 (01:29:40):
Are you dating?

Speaker 11 (01:29:41):
I disagree with it? Yeah, yeah, I disagree with one
of the comments where she said fifty year weren't don't
want to go for younger men on the dating sites?
That on one one of them, and the number of
women that are going for younger men, Good on them,
good luck to them. Yeah, I'm look at it. I'm
looking at people fifty plus. But to me, age is

(01:30:05):
just a number. It's the person I look for. And yeah,
just for paying. If I ask someone out, if I
expect to pay, if they want to pay paid fifty
good as gold. I putever over to them. I am
a romantic. I will send flowers, send cards. I know
problem about doing that.

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
Good on you? So, yeah, And how many have you
have you had? Have you met anyone in your time
on dating apps that's gone on to be something serious?

Speaker 11 (01:30:36):
John, Yes, I have, Yes, I've had two serious relationships
of dating apps. Yes, and they were very great. They
were excellent ended for different reasons. Out they're trying to
give it another shot.

Speaker 2 (01:30:55):
So how often would you go on a date? John,
I've been.

Speaker 11 (01:31:00):
Single for about eighteen months. I've been out on about
four three to four.

Speaker 2 (01:31:06):
And how soon when you get on a date do
you realize, guys, Because obviously someone's profile is very different,
you know, often obviously for a couple of reasons. A
people are putting their best foot forward. And also it's
it's it's not you know, a three D real meeting,
and so it's hard to tell for sure. But how
quickly on a date do you realize that it's a
it's a possible, this person's a possibility for a relationship.

Speaker 11 (01:31:31):
Within the first few minutes, right, I mean you just
once put out from five years ago or ten years ago,
and I stand up and they're totally different to the photo.
You know straight away to me, that's that's not being
upfront and honest, we're all out there.

Speaker 2 (01:31:48):
It's also it's also a scam that's bound to be
found out.

Speaker 3 (01:31:52):
Yeah, exactly. It's only so long you can bot that
up before the truth comes out and you can.

Speaker 11 (01:31:58):
Say whatever you're like online. It's only when you meet
up in person and.

Speaker 2 (01:32:02):
Have to back up what you're saying, so, how does
the rest of the day go when you when you
have already decided a couple of months, then it's going nowhere.

Speaker 11 (01:32:11):
Oh, you make pleasant conversation for a while and had
a cup of coffee whatever, Yeah, and then leave there?

Speaker 2 (01:32:20):
Do you reckon over time? Because because you know, there's
lots of people that you know that this sort of
the transactional nature of of dating apps or the brief
the brevity of it, because you can you know, lots
of people have relationships that they meet someone, maybe it's
at work or it's in a friend group, and it's

(01:32:40):
nothing for a very long time, and then you know,
even six months a year down the track, they suddenly
realized that this is the person but they never but
the first time they met them, it didn't didn't mean anything.
So was that that concern John, that that trying to
work out that this person is not is or isn't
the person on one date is too difficult.

Speaker 11 (01:33:01):
The serious relationships that I've had I've got to come
from dating apps. Within the first half hour down talking
to someone, I realized that hey, there is something to
this person, and that you can't talk talk about any
subject to me being able to talk about any subject
that comes up, including pastyste and all that sort of

(01:33:23):
thing is vital because it forms you. It forms you. Sorry,
you are that person that met at that other party
as you are. All your faults and all your history
make you what you are.

Speaker 3 (01:33:37):
Yep, is it harder? Do you think? I don't know
whether you're dated as a younger man. I assume you did.
But is it a bit harder when you are in
your sixties that you know most people are in different
stages of life a bit more or different experiences. Does
that make it a little bit harder?

Speaker 11 (01:33:55):
Of course it does, because you're taking your experiences forward
with you, and then you're meeting someone who maybe fifty
plus in my case, who has similar experiences. So everyone
has their garden, so you meet them, and everyone has
their trigger points. No matter what I say, it's not
a case of baggage. It's just things that you look

(01:34:17):
out for.

Speaker 2 (01:34:20):
Now, John, John, You John, you would date ten years younger,
But would you date ten years older than you?

Speaker 11 (01:34:28):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:34:29):
No, why No, I've got.

Speaker 11 (01:34:32):
I think I've got too much energy.

Speaker 15 (01:34:35):
I've got someone seventy six, seventy seven?

Speaker 16 (01:34:39):
No, they.

Speaker 11 (01:34:42):
What about I've got too much energy?

Speaker 2 (01:34:43):
What about five years older than you, John.

Speaker 11 (01:34:47):
I'd look at it again.

Speaker 4 (01:34:48):
You look at the person, Yeah yeah, and.

Speaker 11 (01:34:51):
You figure out whether you can be with that person
as they are when you meet them.

Speaker 3 (01:34:56):
Well, good on you, John, Thanks for sharing and good
luck out there. Yeah, fascinating. O. Eight one hundred eighty
ten eighty is the number to call if you are
currently dating. What is it like if you're a woman.
Do you agree with this article that Kiwi's are emotionally stunted?
Kiwi men? Hey for fellas out there, how do you
find it on the other side? Is there too much expectation?

Speaker 5 (01:35:14):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:35:14):
Eight hundred eighty ten eighty is a number to call.

Speaker 2 (01:35:16):
And it's good to see a lot of support from
ladies out there for the slobbishness of Kiwi.

Speaker 3 (01:35:22):
Mean, yeah, yes, it is nice to see some some
ladies like that.

Speaker 12 (01:35:29):
You talk savy headlines with blue bubble taxis, it's no
trouble with a blue bubble. Police say a man who
died at the site of a fatal house fire in
one or two cents and on Saturday didn't die in
the blaze in which three children's lives were lost. They've
been identified on a give a little page. The Green

(01:35:51):
Party's made clear there'll be no consents or permits for coal,
hard rock, gold and sea bed mining under its watch
if it gets into government. Auckland's mayor is pitching to
set up a national home for New Zealand basketball with
a two hundred million dollar arena at Albany national team.
The Breakers could make it their base. It would include

(01:36:11):
a high performance training ground, community courts and a venue
for school champs. A person is seriously injured after a
two vehicle crash near Canterbury's twysel On Twyzel Or Mardamer
Road near Lake Ohoe Road. Nathi Hikaiedos lifted Arajue Onedo
n Alpine crossing and surrounding tracks, although long term arrangement

(01:36:33):
for restoring burnt out areas of the wider park continues.
An Auckland company has been fined after an employee died
when the crane he was operating touched power lines. Read
more at encint Herald Premium. Back now to matt Ethan
Tyler Adams.

Speaker 3 (01:36:48):
Well today we are joined by a natural path. July
from about health and as always we're talking about supplements
that can help our health. Julie good afternoon. What have
you got for us today?

Speaker 6 (01:37:01):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:37:01):
Sorry, Julie, that was sorry. We'll just start that one again.
That was my fault with the old phone. How are
you doing?

Speaker 18 (01:37:07):
Oh yep, to push those right buttons? Right, I'm great,
not the wrong ones. Last week we talked about the
twelve products that we've got our range, and I gave
a super brief rundown on the benefits.

Speaker 14 (01:37:20):
Of each one.

Speaker 11 (01:37:21):
Today, I thought, let's.

Speaker 18 (01:37:22):
Talk about why the listeners should reach for the About
Health options.

Speaker 2 (01:37:26):
Yeah, Julie, with so many options available in the market,
why should people choose the about Health options?

Speaker 14 (01:37:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 18 (01:37:32):
Because, yeah, there's so many out there, but one word
to rule them all quality, And that starts from you know,
we formulate looking at nutrients thatwork snergistically and cover multiple
health needs, so you don't have to take as many
different supplements to get those great benefits. And we also
have tight controls around the ingredients and the manufacturing. We

(01:37:53):
source top quality ingredients, we manufacture in GMP certified facilities
in New Zealand, and we've got some really important testing
in place too. And as if that isn't enough, we've
got our one hundred percent money back guarantee, so if
you're not satisfied for any reason at all, you can
just return your order get all of your money back.

Speaker 3 (01:38:09):
That is a lot of great reasons that really make
about Health products stand out from the rest. So Julie,
tell us what offer you have for our listeners today.

Speaker 18 (01:38:17):
All right, simply call us now on eight hundred triple
nine three nine, or you can hit to the website
about Health dot code or MZ order anything and you
will automatically save twenty percent off. You don't have to
enter a code, you just pop the iceman your basket
and you'll get the twenty percent off. But if you
want even better savings, grab a value bundle and you'll
save an extra ten percent. Don't let this pass you

(01:38:40):
by order today, You've got nothing to lose. There are
some exclusions at number once again, oh eight hundred triple
nine three oh nine. In alway, as always read those
labels and take own insurrectors about health or punt.

Speaker 2 (01:38:51):
Thanks Julie.

Speaker 3 (01:38:52):
That's Judy from about our Tyloratoms, and we are getting
back to our discussion about dating the New Zealand. This
was after an article that was published today from a
bunch of New Zealand women, saying that key, we men
are emotionally stunted, So I'd love to hear your thoughts
on oh, eight hundred ten eighty if you want to
send a text. Nine two ninety two is that number?

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
Guys, All these young kiwis leaving the country are probably
also heading overseas to look for partners in other countries
other than just looking for work. Most won't admit it.
Though the gene pool is limited in New Zealand, the
possibilities of finding a beautiful, feminine, switched on woman overseas
and larger populations is far more achievable. Dave yeh have it.
There's more competition over there as well. Yeah, yeah, nicely

(01:39:33):
said John is sixty six and in ten years time
will be seventy six. Yet he is keen to get
a fifty six year old who will only be sixty
six inteen years like him now, and he'll need looking
after him.

Speaker 3 (01:39:46):
No than he seemed like he was doing pretty well,
Old John.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
John as a hypocrite, says Alex. He says age is
just a number, but that only applies to him and
younger woman. Funny that John practice what you preach, mate, well,
he was very honest, John wasn't.

Speaker 3 (01:39:58):
He he was? He certainly was. Oh and this is
the opposite side to the coin when it comes to John.

Speaker 2 (01:40:03):
Lee, that sixty six year old dude is the bomb.
Someone who appreciates honesty and authentic can can clone him
and all us women will be sorted.

Speaker 3 (01:40:10):
Nice. Keep those teaks coming through, Melena, how are you.
I'm good, Thank you, very nice to chat with you.
So you a migrant to New Zealand, but you've been
here for twenty years. You're originally from Columbia, is it right, Yeah, yeah, Columbia, fantastic.
So you've been single for two years. How is your

(01:40:32):
your dating life at the moment? Molina? Okay.

Speaker 16 (01:40:35):
So I go on and off these apps and later
be using Hinge because it's a little bit more. It's
got a lot of more settings. You can enter things
like you have kids, you don't have kids, use a smoke,
you don't smoke. So it's kind of like they said,
settings that you can at a glance, you get a

(01:40:57):
feel for the person that you're looking at. And so
I get very discouraged because most of the time people
just don't get up to you or really the texting
back and forth, something I don't really like.

Speaker 14 (01:41:12):
I much.

Speaker 16 (01:41:13):
Rather, I prefer to go and meet someone straight away.
So what I usually do is, but like someone, I go, uh,
would you like to grab a coffee after a couple
of texts? Because I can't be bothered texting back and forth.
So that's what I do. But what I find in
terms of what are you're talking about about paying is
that in my opinions, I can see both sides of

(01:41:36):
the stories. I mean, like back back in Columbia, usually
I always paid for the to go in on a
thirst day. But here I kind of I sort of
get the fact that if you're a guy and you're
always expected to pay, it can be it can be
very costly. And also for a girl, it creates a
little bit of an expectation that if you if you

(01:41:58):
if the guys are paying, that you re sort of
like feel like you have to see them again. So
what I do usually is that if I if I
want to see somebody again and they of to pay,
then I let them pay, so that if the opportunity
comes again and we go out together, I get the
chance to pay as well. But what I don't like

(01:42:19):
is when guys actually don't even bother to ask you.
I like to have the option because it just really
comes across as the guys are real gentlemen and and
so I've had instances where he's just the guy just
sits behind him for a coffee, just waiting for you
to pay first. And this is just really awful. I

(01:42:41):
had that happened in the last couple of dates, and
I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt. But
even going out for drinks, he will be there first,
that he will be eating, and he will even not
offer what he was eating. And I think this was
just and I just I really wanted to give him

(01:43:05):
another chance because I actually liked him, and this very
few chances where you find someone that you like physically
and as so full as it sounds, it's very shallow,
but you you can't in my opinion, I just I
have to be there that chemistry, that physical chemistry, because
you don't have the organic meetings that used to happen

(01:43:26):
back in the day where you met people are your
friends and where you were at UNI or as. Yeah,
that's that sort of thing.

Speaker 2 (01:43:34):
Anyway, what about if so you know you you said
that you want them to offer the opportunity. But what
if say he just got up and went and paid
and came back to the table and said, of paid,
would that be right? So it hasn't offered you the
opportunity pay. He's just taken out of your hands and paid.
Is that okay for you?

Speaker 16 (01:43:51):
Well, that's okay for me. But that never happened. That happens.
That happens with friends, and has got close key with friends,
and they are absolutely generous, and this is really beautiful
and I really appreciate that, and I have I like
to have the opportunity to also return the favor. But

(01:44:12):
but it's just the fact that I like to be asked,
even if I want to pay, I like to be asked,
you know. And then if I like the person, I
go thank you yes. And also you just go for
a coffee or a drink and you just don't going fourteenner.
I don't like going forteen It's because if I don't
like the person, I don't want to see there for

(01:44:32):
two hours. I want to be able to have a
coffee and go in the next and then and then
and in the fifteen minutes you have in between you know,
getting there and just starting a chat you know, you
want to.

Speaker 2 (01:44:45):
Continue to you don't think across a meal someone could
turn you around. So you know, in fifteen minutes, so
what about another half hour and your Sunday go. Actually,
this guy is kind of funny, you know, it's a
bit fugly, but he's got something exactly.

Speaker 16 (01:44:59):
But I guess you start with a coffee, uh, and
then and then go from there. I am Columbian, so
I go for coffee.

Speaker 2 (01:45:07):
Yeah what I yea. And from your perspective, as the
woman that started this conversation, can we mean slobs?

Speaker 16 (01:45:19):
Uh? Slobs?

Speaker 3 (01:45:20):
What slops?

Speaker 2 (01:45:23):
I guess to not not not turned out nicely, don't
dress very well?

Speaker 16 (01:45:32):
Yeah? Well yeah, that's that's another thing.

Speaker 2 (01:45:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 16 (01:45:38):
Yeah, I think she's right, I think and I think
that also comes from my culture, like we really we
really like take fright on and turn up or really
well dressed up, even for work.

Speaker 14 (01:45:53):
Yeah right.

Speaker 16 (01:45:54):
And I and I work in a public sector and
a lot of times people say to me, are you
going for an interview? And I'm like, no, I'm just
coming to work. But that's just me and my and
my culture. But I do appreciate the you know the
easiness of the key culture and whiby. You just and
you're pretty relaxed. And I've changed out a lot as
well throughout the years because become more relaxed about it.

(01:46:17):
I do like going on a date looking well, like
I just it's so forul when you know, you just
turn up in a First of all, you need to
be like you're handsing to be clean, you.

Speaker 2 (01:46:28):
Know, like nice, got to clean your nails.

Speaker 16 (01:46:32):
And yeah, your nails, but you'll be good price.

Speaker 2 (01:46:35):
Yeah, just get a brush out and give a bit
of you know, like.

Speaker 3 (01:46:40):
Just scrub the dirt out of your fingernails. Isn't it
not too hard?

Speaker 16 (01:46:42):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:46:42):
I think some woman like a trade's hands. They look,
this is a guy that works hard with his hands.
But you can't be having did up the fingernail figure
out before you head out to the date.

Speaker 3 (01:46:53):
That's right. And the shoes the shows.

Speaker 2 (01:46:58):
What about flip flops? If a guy turns up the
date and flip flops, is that all right?

Speaker 14 (01:47:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 16 (01:47:04):
Well depends on the date. If you're going to a
restaurant or something and then they turn up in flip flops,
I think it's a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:47:12):
Flip flops and socks not good.

Speaker 3 (01:47:14):
Yeah, yeah, not even Burking stops. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:47:18):
Oh well, good luck up there, Lena, and thanks so
much for ing in talking to us. Thank you for
your insights, appreciate it.

Speaker 16 (01:47:24):
Thank you all right.

Speaker 3 (01:47:25):
Good luck, Thank you very much. Interesting. Oh eight one
hundred and eighty ten eighty's.

Speaker 2 (01:47:29):
A lot of people after Molina's number.

Speaker 10 (01:47:30):
Good.

Speaker 2 (01:47:31):
Yeah, but we're not We're a radio show, we're not
a dating site.

Speaker 3 (01:47:33):
Well, let's just keep her on and see if she's interested. Oh,
eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to
call back in a mo It's quarter to four.

Speaker 1 (01:47:41):
Matt Heath Tyler Adams with You is your afternoon rolls
on madd Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons news talks.

Speaker 3 (01:47:48):
It'd be it is twelve to four.

Speaker 2 (01:47:51):
Mark says arm As, you guys would base this whole
discussion on the opinion of a bitter, twisted woman who
has decided to inflict herself somewhere else. Sheers, Mark. Look, Mark,
I've based whole shows and a funny look I've got
in the lift. This is actually pretty solid ground for
a whole show.

Speaker 3 (01:48:05):
This is a lot of research that we've done on
this topic. Isn't ready one article.

Speaker 2 (01:48:09):
I'm very proud of this of it. Yeah, you can't
take that away from us. Maxine, Welcome to the show.

Speaker 17 (01:48:15):
Oh hi, hello, Ray Hi, I've got a bit of
a list. I had my teeth done last week, so
I hope you can understand me.

Speaker 2 (01:48:23):
Okay, loud and clear.

Speaker 17 (01:48:24):
Maxccene, Oh great, Hi. I'm actually a widow and I
ended up back on the dating scene.

Speaker 2 (01:48:32):
Oh well, I'm sorry to hear that you're widowed. How
long have you been back on the date? How long
is that time frame? How long you been back on
the dating scene?

Speaker 3 (01:48:39):
Maccine, Well, I was married for.

Speaker 17 (01:48:41):
Twenty six years, so I last dated when I was twenty.

Speaker 14 (01:48:45):
Six years old.

Speaker 17 (01:48:47):
And so my children are growing up and everything, and
I lost my husband and I decided to start dating
for eight months after he had passed away, and and
you know, it's been it's been quite hilarious. Actually, I've
been quite a rollercoaster. But I just wanted to tell
you thing, key we guys and etc. Is I probably

(01:49:14):
went on about twelve dates with local guys from around
the Wellington region and there was only one that bought
flowers for me for the first date, and that guy
was a South African.

Speaker 2 (01:49:31):
Boys. But but how was it when you so? Did
you meet at a restaurant?

Speaker 3 (01:49:35):
And he was?

Speaker 2 (01:49:36):
He was he just turned up with what flowers mine
is back? Or how did that work out?

Speaker 17 (01:49:39):
No? No, no, I broke all the rolls. You know,
I hadn't dated for so long. I decided to be
a bit of a rebel. And my son will be
listening to this too because he loves news talks the day,
so he'll be hopefully cracking up. But anyway, I got
a lot of the first dates. Ye're all horrified. Yeah,
I think that a lot of the first states where

(01:50:01):
I cahos took them online for you know, maybe a
few days or a week to see how long they
would stay stay connected with me, and then I would
actually invite them back to my place to pick me
up and take me out for dinner because they would say, oh,
do you want to go for coffee? Go for a drink,
and I'd go and see, let's go for dinner. Why
don't we go out for dinner? Because I felt like

(01:50:21):
I didn't have anybody to take me out for dinner anymore.
And all my friends went out for dinner, and I thought,
you need for me? I wanted that extra time to
get to know somebody. You know somebody in fifteen minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:50:35):
So the South African turned up at your door with
the flowers. He did.

Speaker 17 (01:50:41):
It, the only one, the only one that tuned up
with anything. And it also gave me good opportunity for
what you know, to see what car they were driving
and it stuff as well.

Speaker 2 (01:50:58):
But what was the South African with the flowers like?
Was he all right after the you know, the flowers
are a good start, But how did the rest of
it go?

Speaker 16 (01:51:06):
The flowers were a good start.

Speaker 17 (01:51:08):
I was very impressed by that. I was surprised that
more men didn't bring flowers because I'm fifty five years
old and I was looking at me and my age yep,
and that. And I was surprised that you know, so
really wanted to hook hook a good lady. They needed
to pull it out of the bed a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:51:27):
How many more days did how many more days did
JEV with the South African? Did he have good chet?

Speaker 4 (01:51:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 14 (01:51:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 17 (01:51:34):
No he ended up okay, and thats I no, no,
well no not really. We're still dating recent living together
nearly two years now, so I did a whole lot
of dates at the same time I met him and
you know the other funny thing is trying to get

(01:51:54):
him off the dating sites was incredibly hard because soon
as soon as I meet her, and you know, we
got things together and we were like, yeah, you were
really into each other. And he and I say to him,
I've gone off the dating side and that have you
gone off yet? And he's like, oh, well, I'll think
about it, you know wow, And I was like road.

(01:52:18):
But anyway, we got there on the end, he went
off on the end. I went off straight away, and
it took him about two months before he went off.

Speaker 4 (01:52:27):
Here.

Speaker 2 (01:52:28):
That's no good. That's no good. Yeah, well, Maxine, you're
not the only one to take the whole world on.
Thank you for your call and best luck out there.

Speaker 3 (01:52:36):
Yeah, it is eight minutes to four back in a month.

Speaker 4 (01:52:39):
The big stories, the big issues, the big trends and
everything in between. Matt Heath and Tayler Adams afternoons used talk.

Speaker 3 (01:52:47):
Zi'd be it is four to four.

Speaker 2 (01:52:50):
Hey, Thanks so much for everyone for listening to the show.
Loved the chats today of across three hours. Thank you
for your kind messages about me punishing my way like
a battler through my marathon and finishing that was very
lovely of you. What a show. The podcast will be
up soon. We've got super sub Ryan Bridge up next
to and Drive Away Now Ryan Near there's someone that

(01:53:10):
no one would swipe left on.

Speaker 3 (01:53:11):
No good looking man.

Speaker 2 (01:53:12):
But right now Tyler, Oh my good buddy, tell me
why am I playing the song by the Buggles?

Speaker 3 (01:53:17):
Oh great June video killed the radio star. It's because
we had their great call from Stoop. We were talking
about screen time and when he was a kid. As
grandparents seed, you shouldn't listen to the radio too much
because that addles your brain.

Speaker 2 (01:53:28):
Yeah, can you mention that?

Speaker 3 (01:53:31):
Thank God, that's no longer the case because our jobs
rely on that.

Speaker 2 (01:53:34):
Oh yeah, no, a nourishment for the brain that met
Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons, there's for sure. Anyway, you
guys seem busy, so we'll let you go until tomorrow afternoon.
Give them a taste of Kiwi from Tyler and.

Speaker 4 (01:53:45):
I, Madam Tyler.

Speaker 1 (01:53:54):
For more from news Talks, there'd be listen live on
air or online and keep our shows with you wherever
you go with our podcasts on iHeartRadio

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