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June 10, 2024 39 mins

In this episode, G Lane joins Manaia Stewart to get him up to speed on the sporting world after a strangely butt-focussed trip to Bali (0:00) beginning with the whirlwind opening to the T20 Cricket World Cup (7:10).

Then the fellas discuss the latest in the NBA Finals (13:00) why the Warriors' headache is not a headache (18:30) and what Super Rugby could learn from AC Milan (22:00).

Finally, the team hatch a plan to return the America's Cup to NZ (28:37) and get to 'Yours Please' (32:38).

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Live from the Export Beer Garden studio and brought to
you by the only beer I wish they did sell
in Indonesia, Export Ultra. This is the Agenda Podcast for Tuesday,
the eleventh of June.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting, nonsense and clap trap,
brought to you by Export a Vulture.

Speaker 3 (00:18):
Morning, Late good A and I anyone would think you've
been to Bali?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
What gives it away?

Speaker 3 (00:23):
And to know it's the Bintang T shirt? It's the
genuine Italian maid Are they Versaci Prada Prada glasses?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Prada glasses there, I've got a great deal on this show.
How much did you pay for those genuine pratas? Two
hundred thousand repair? Where's your tattoo? No, it's funny you
say that. So I've just gotten back from Bali and
you know it has changed me. But it's funny you
mentioned the tattoos, because there are tattoo parlors everywhere. Yeah,

(00:55):
absolutely everywhere. The funniest sign that I ever saw for
one of them, it was hair written on a piece
of cardboard that I think was from a box of beer,
and it was just taped to a wall and it
said three tattoos thirty dollars one needle, and I don't
know why they had to specify that they were only
going to use one needle.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
I think that's the cost saving. That's why it's only
thirty Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
And I just love the idea of them being like, look,
we can either do one tattoo on three different people
or three tattoos on one person, however you want to
play it. What I'm telling you is we're only going
to use one needle, So do what you want with
that information. The only sure I have with the one
authentic two hundred thousand dollars pratas they fog up in

(01:36):
every every single they don't look environment.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
They look like potentially if it was any sun, your
eyeballs would be burning.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah that's all. You wouldn't able to see anything because
they'd frost up on both sides. Just quick recap on
my trip to Bali, very very but hoole focused the
Indonesian trip or just you well, I mean in a way,
as soon as I got there, there was we got
a massage and the woman was fearless.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Did sheat I've been in this situation? Did they go
up the inside flying thigh and fleck up. No, I
didn't have that. Chris Key, I was with him. He
did have that, and his misuse was a bloke. So
that was full noise. No mid one, she puts the
blanket over your back. Then when she goes to rub
your back, she pulled the blanket down, tucked it into
my undies and pulled my undies down.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Oh yes, I was like, oh boy, and then she
was just right in there. I was like, God, bless you.
You know, getting paid nearly enough for this. That very night,
there was a massive noise outside of our villa. What
had happened was the pool drained itself and then by mistake,
and then the jets turned on, so they're just blasting
water into an empty pool. It was loud as hell.

(02:47):
How did you?

Speaker 3 (02:48):
How did who pulled the plug out on the pool?

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Don't know to this day, don't know, but it scared
the pass out of me. So I get up to investigate.
Didn't realize that my bed was actually on a platform.
So I just went flying across the room, ripped the
curtain off the rail, and somehow I hit the lights
in one fell swoop. So my missus wakes up to
the lights blasting on me, screaming, flat on my back
on the floor, shangled and jangled the curtain, the curtains

(03:12):
off the rail, just like, what the fuck is happening.
I was like, sorry, I fell over, so that bruised
my ass. And there's day one. This is day one. Yeah,
and as you know, the scooters everywhere. So for the
rest of the thing, I still have a giant bruise
on my left butt cheek. For the rest of the trip,
there was Yeah. I was just getting my ass powdered
by these scooters. We go to a beach club. One

(03:35):
of the people that were at the beach club with
who were posing for a photo they was this dude
was standing behind me and he was suffering from a
bit of shrinkage to the point where it felt like
I had a gun in my back while we were posing.
It was so awkward. And this is all within the
first forty eight hours of me being in Balley, And
I was like, if the rest of this as buttle
focused as the first forty eight hours, then we're in

(03:56):
for a rough one.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Are you You haven't come back with the BALLEI rash.

Speaker 1 (04:01):
Oh, well no, no I haven't.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Whether which is people falling off scooters and just coming
back with it, just road rash all over them.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
No, I haven't. We did rent scooters though, and that
was a real relationship strengthening exercise for me and my partner.
Did you get two or did you just get one?
We got we just got one, so you shared it.
That's that's the issue. Yeah, So she's on the back
of mine. She didn't want to drive once, so I
was like right out, hop on the back of mine.
We got stuck in rush our traffic, which by the way,
rush hour is from when the sun comes up to

(04:26):
when it goes down. Traffic is a disaster. It is
a disaster. We didn't crash it, but we did get
to a point where she jumped off and threw the
helmet at me and said, I'm getting a car right now. Helm.
It is a a big move. Yeah, I was like
fair enough. Sporting highlight of the week we watched State
of Origin at a bar and Luatu with a bunch

(04:47):
of Australians there and it was a It was a
great time, great event, aside from the fact that the
game was over within the first sort of ten to
fifteen minutes, but it was good to just be around
a bunch of ozsies watching State of Origin, don't you
thingers didn't miss out on much here.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
Nothing much happened here last few days, So I think
we can just get straight into Well.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
That's funny say it because I was watching from Afar.
There was a live stream on one of the days
and I don't know what that was. It was of
you sitting in that seat that you're in right now. Comfy. Yeah,
it looked very comfortable at the time because you were
just asleep and I was watching that from a bar
in Balu. Just the fuck's going on? What have it?

Speaker 3 (05:25):
It's just a one day His classic kind of acc
traditions is turning what was a victory into a massive loss.
So I mean, this is where where I'm an award
for this podcast, New Zealand's best sports podcast.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Partied way too hard.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
I passed out in the studio, got in a lot
of trouble at home, then just summon enough energy to
do a podcast with poor Carl from the Tab, who
I still haven't apologized to because it was the worst
sports book broadcast ever, and then rolled into an agenda
podcast that both Met Heath and I can't remember recording,
and then and then and then passing out in this

(06:00):
and then you know, you like to have good friends
around you to rally around you, and you know, look
after in the state. Then turn the cameras on me
and video and live stream me sleeping in this chair
for the power.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well that's the dangers of falling asleep in a seat
with a camera trained on us. Yeah, this is true.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
I mean, look, I made so many bad decisions in
that twenty four hours that I spent the next three
or four days paying for it.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
But hey, I'm at the back of it now and hearing.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Your first couple of days and Barley's made me feel
a lot better.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
Actually, yeah, Las Siels was in this downstairs focus. Does
that have someone to do with why the pillows are
all screwed up on the ski? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I mean the couch was used a lot. I mean Ruder,
the producer of the Met and Jury show. He was
on there before me and I said, get off. He'd
never liked it.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
He actually slept in here the week before, Yes.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
He did for the Met and Jerry Live podcast.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
And yeah, and he made a point of it. Came
over to me and explained that he had not relieved himself,
relieved himself anywhere in the studio while he slipped.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Here, which raises some suspicions that he may have, but
I didn't think you had.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
That's dangerous. Also with the cameras in here, Yeah, very
dangerous unless that's your thing. Maybe that's what Maybe that's
what did it. But while I was gone, the Cricket
World Cup kicking off, and I didn't really see anything
aside from that Corey Anderson beat Pakistan.

Speaker 3 (07:18):
Oh yeah, yeah, he didn't play. He didn't do much
in that game. Actually he didn't even I don't think
he even bettered. No, but obviously you've just come straight
back from balley Man from Mars hasn't seen much.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
I haven't seen anything. I saw State of Origin and
that was it. It's an absolute.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Shit show really because the games are in like some
of them are in Guyana, which is pretty much South America,
some are in West Indies, summer in Texas.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
Some are in New York.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Yeah, so it's all wildly different. The pitch in New
York is an absolute shitter. The stadium looks great, yeah baseball, No,
it's a pop up saying the build it from scratch,
like it's all scaffolding cave creaky type situation. Yeah, but
I mean India defended one seventeen or one nineteen or
whatever against Pakistan. The pictures a bit dodgy there, pittures
in Guyana as slow and turns didn't help that. New

(08:06):
Zealand turned up and absolutely shat the bet against Afghanistan.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Yeah, got absolutely outplayed.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
In every fest of the game and now are playing
for the tournament against West Indy's the hosts on Thursday
at Brian Lara Academy Stadium.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
And but Pakistani potentially out.

Speaker 3 (08:23):
We're potentially out USA potentially through Afghanistani, PA potentially through
but the same old constant, the best team in the
competition by a long long way as Australia.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
That's annoying. But it is such a bizarre sort of
set up, Like you said, teams all over the shop
in terms of you might be playing, you must have
a game in New Zealand. Yeah, I hate that for
sporting events because the whole point of a World Cup
is it's in one place.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Well, FIFA is doing something similar in the next few years.
They're doing it in I think three countries.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yes, for World Cup. Yeah, I saw that well. We've
been saying this for ages. The fight island idea where
we just have one sporting complex all sports events and
each year you rotate through whatever it is. So this year, yeah,
it's all in Qatar. This year it'll be the Olympics.
Next year it's the FIFA World Cup, the year after
it's whatever, and it's all played in the same spot.
It's just one single place that you can go to

(09:15):
and watch it all. It makes no sense. It also
really annoys me that I was like looking forward to
a bit of a cricket World Cup and we get home,
We get home and already we're playing for our lives
in game two. I feel like we've waited so long
for this World Cup to come around and didn't. We
didn't play for the first like two weeks. No, we
didn't do a warm up either, didn't do any warm ups,

(09:36):
haven't done basically anything. Now all of a sudden, it
could be over on Thursday.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, twelve thirty Thursday midday, twelve thirty mid day, not
twelve thirty midnight. So great thing to watch long at
work on Skysport nine because we're covering that one.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yep. But that's pretty much a summary.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
So Ifrica just held off Bangladesh overnight, needed a six
off the last ball. They lost two weekends in the
last over, so they shot themselves in the foot. Yeah,
and needed six off the last ball. Couldn't do it,
so Safka sqeaks through. There is there something weird going
on at this World Cup? Or is this just a
T twenty World Cup where T twenty's got so much
variance that anyone could win any game.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I think there's a.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Few key things, like spinner's playing a massive part. Think
I've seen most games I've watched, they've opened with a spinner.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right spinners are good.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
The West Indies have got this great left armor who
basically bowls this in swinger. The he turns it away,
turns it away, and then he bowls a quick in
swinger and he's getting so many wickets, but a.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Genuine it's not drift, it's a genuine yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
Right, And you got Rashid Khan for Afghanistan who just
owned us, absolutely owned us.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
He's there one mean bowler. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
And then they've got the left armor who mimics Trent Bolt.
He got four wickets against us. He Trent bolted us.
He's about maybe ten centimeters shorter than Trent Bolt, but
his action is modeled on Trent.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Bolt mouth size speaks.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
And apart from that, it's only the action. And they
did a split screen in the game against and it
was like very similar.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
He out Tromp bolted trampone.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah, and he did, and he got four wickets. Rush
you can't got four wickets. It was every team's got
like a quite a mean strike spin bowler. Zampas playing
well for Australia and we've got Satner, which you know, look,
I love Satna.

Speaker 1 (11:18):
I said for the longest time. Not a spin bowler.
He's an all arounder. He's an all rounder. He is
a great bowler. But it doesn't he's not a prolific
turner of the ball.

Speaker 3 (11:27):
So there's a lot of pressure on him and Bracewell
and I don't that's that's I think that's unfair. Yeah,
Lackie Ferguson he bowled well. He really put the brakes
on Afghanistan. But just where we dropped catches, we misfielding,
there was overthrows. It was a real tough watch and
that's why we had to reform the Black Cap Supporter
support group and we sold ad T shirts and people

(11:49):
were getting people were getting around each other, people were
booking scout hauls and you know, we may have we've
all penciled them in for Friday. Yeah, because we've got
West Indies at home. Yeah we've got it. Oh of course.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
So we've got a standing reservation at the Silver Band
Hall and every town.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
Yeah, that's right, So you know, book the halls Friday,
tune in and like if you're gonna, if you're gonna
watch along and share the pain.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
And there's no better commentary team to do it within us.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
So Skysport nine on Thursday twelve thirty, What what.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Do we do with that money? Because that's blood money,
the money that we make, we do.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
We basically reinvested in buying the more stupid shit like
the three hundred hip flasks we've got, oh yes, of course,
which in hindsight we should have activated at the New
Zealand Radio and Podcast Awards because during the ceremony they
have it in a theater and alcohol's band, you like,
they don't serve drinks before we should have stood outside
the front and handed out acc hip flask who would

(12:47):
have been the biggest heroes.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
So maybe next year. Hindsight, Eh, yeah, hindsight from the
from the sounds of things, no one was thinking straight. No, okay, good,
thank you. You got me back at okay speed with the
Cricket World Cup. Let's take quick break. We'll come back
with some more sport. The National Basketball Association finally into
your favorite part of the season then, and it actually
it gets your will, so you usually only churn into

(13:10):
the finals, but against your will. This season, it seems
that your kids have been keeping you up to date. Yeah,
I've been involved early. Yeah, and it has. I've noticed
my sisters and she's eleven about turn twelve. She loves
the NBA as well. They've done a great job of
wrestling the kids attention.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
Well, they've done. I've mentioned it before. It's a pretty
simple formula. They basically haven't restricted the use of footage
on any social media platform, so anyone can grab footage
and put their own little highlight three altogether on TikTok, YouTube,
on shorts or whatever reels and they just go for it.

(13:49):
And so the whole time they're scrolling through NBA content. Yeah,
he knows, he knows.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
I reckon. You know as many players as you do
in the NBA. My twelve year old, Yeah he was.
He's playing the PlayStation game as well. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
Yeah, and he's commentating when we're watching highlights.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
He goes, go rude.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
They've done a great job.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
They've like, you know what, whoever wants to consume this
content can consume it.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
We're not going to be anal about it.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
You look at some other uh you know sports are
so anal about their protective of their content that they
restrict it, whereas the NBA are like, nah, man, fucking
fail your boots.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah. And so the result of that is what they
have now is these massive fan bases who don't even
watch games. No, and these people I probably put myself
in this category where I consume more NBA content that's
adjacent to the games than I actually watch minutes of
game time.

Speaker 3 (14:39):
I can hand on heart say my twelve years of
assessment has not watched an entire game of NBA.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 (14:46):
Because I've tried to say, do you want to watch
the the MAVs game, He's like, well to do that,
I was just.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
Going to watch the highlightsighlights afterwards. Yeah, And it does
it changes the way that they think of these players
because all the see his highlights. Yeah, like, oh he's
like this. Then you watch games like yeah, he just
does that once every three games. Quite funny. This is
beside the point, but a kind of relative.

Speaker 3 (15:10):
Luka Doncicic he thinks that Luka Doncic is the person
from the Burns Co, which is a marine.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Store in New Zealand.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
And there's a guy on the side of burns Cow
if you go to Albany who's got a life jacket
on and holding a water ski.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
And he one hundred percent sweath.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
He reckons it's Luka Doncic And I was like, it's
not Luca donic it is Luca Donic. I was like,
this is a marine supply store in Albany, New Zealander.
They have not got Luca don Chiz to put a
life jacket on. I'll take a photo of it next
time we go parties that I've seen it through. But
if you are going turning off to Albany to go
to Albany more on the left hand side, have a

(15:45):
look at the side of Burns Co. And then the
dude there that my son is obsessed with that he thinks,
says luk at don Chic and how did they get
luc ad don Chic to pose?

Speaker 1 (15:53):
How did they get him to agree to it? It's
funny to say that. I don't know if you've heard.
Both got back from Bali and there was a there's
signs everywhere for this, like pedals big over there, like pickleballs.
Oh yeah yeah, And one franchise of pedal court uses
Cristiano Ronaldo as the image and they've like crudely bunshot
the racket into his head and it's like he doesn't

(16:14):
know that's there. Yeah, what what's he gonna do about it?
First of all, all like, is he's just that call
that people have? Oh, work it? So I'll go there
because surely you throw Confederer or Jocovich or Paul Cole.
I don't know someone that's like racket sport ad Jason.
I thought that was hilarious. But anyway, so we here's

(16:34):
where we're out at the moment. Game two was yesterday.
Celtics won that one. So they've won the first two
games at home, and how the series works is the
next two games will be on the road Dallas, Dallas.
Then it goes one one one after that. So they
usually say that a series doesn't start till a home
team loses, so you know, people people riding off the

(16:57):
MAVs already just relaxed a little bit. But I think
the star that's sort of come out of nowhere has
been Kristaps Porzingis because I think the average or casual
fan wouldn't have wouldn't know who he was until that
game won, because he'd been injured for most of the playoffs. Now,
all of a sudden he comes back. He's seven foot
four and he can shoot. Yeah, and for the for

(17:17):
the longest time, they'll say, no, this guy is going
to be basically like what Victor wembin Yama is like
now at the moment. But he's just so injured all
the time. Not yeah, primarily due to the fact he's
seven foot four.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
With the games two games back in Dallas. Yes, what
I want to see I want to see vat Coley courtside,
of course, because they're playing games there is Indi Area
just played Pakistan in Dallas over the weekend. Yeah, so
how could I'd love to I want to see jesspit
Boomra and Rat Coley courtside looking dangerously confused.

Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, yeah, dressed like absolute superstars and.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
Dressed like superstars but also potentially the shortest men in
the whole arena, and they'd.

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Put them on the TV screen and everyone who yeah,
Bollywood actor is he?

Speaker 3 (18:02):
But they probably got got bigger followers than most of
the NBA players put together.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
That is a funny one about cricket is that those
guys are enormous, Like Coley is just probably one of
the most famous athletes in the world by population easily, Yeah,
but most people don't actually know who is the are
the country music stars of the sporting world. Yeah, like
they are enormous, but you've never heard of them. Yeah,
so yeah, we'll be good to see him sideline there.

(18:28):
The Warriors, all the headlines for the like last two
three weeks have been since somebody Martin started playing real well,
everyone's been like, oh, the Warriors have got a massive
headache now because Seawn Johnson is going to be fit
next week and what is Andrew Whibs to do. Here's
a hot tip, puts Sean Johnson back in the fucking Warriors.
I care, Like, don't overthink it totally.

Speaker 3 (18:48):
You got a guy just about one the delim You
should have should have won the daim just because he's
been weighing Likewaye Man's done a great.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
Job, excellent, excellent job, great work for my super coach team.
But yeah, you're right, but he's not Sean Johnson. And
the other thing is he's still going to be on
the field. And Seawan Johnson, it's not like he hasn't
been watching these games. He's been sidelined and he's looking
at this guy wicked. Well when I come back, keep
that same energy to Mighty and give me a bit
of a break while we're playing.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Totally, it's just going to open up more space because
he's more options. It's only it can only possibly be
a good thing. The only thing that I would say is,
potentially do they swap positions to where Tomighty Martin just
keeps that seven jersey and Seawan Johnson plays a bit
more of a running game off the back of him,
and then it takes a little bit off his plate.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
It's not all on Seawan Johnson. I think that could
be the only difference. I don't think the jersey numbers
will swap, but potentially the roles could change a little bit.
But again, these are not a problem for the Warriors.
All of the headlines are trying to be like Webster's
selection headaches.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
How good looking at our halves though, oh devastated, a
couple of dream boats devastating.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
We've got one of the better looking teams in the camp.
The Broncos are probably the only better looking team than us.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
That's only because you've got Yeah, but all looks different
now though, after you got his head taken on.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, it does. And I would say Jordan Ricky's probably
may even be hot it depending on who you are.
They are a good looking team. They may have us done.
But you're like, you say, we're up there, We're in
the conversation. And I also see that the Hurricanes have
had to change their kickoff time for their playoff game
this weekend. I think this is great.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
Yeah, this is the fact that a few years ago
it would have been like fuck it would take him
head on, Yeah, fuck rugby league. Yeah, but they finally
looked out that, you know, it's not fuck ourselves here. Yeah,
I mean, let's be sensible and they're going to kick
off at four thirty, which allow everyone to also watch
the Warriors as well. So common sense has prevailed, which
I think is And whether this's came from sky I

(20:44):
reckon yeah, rather yeah, just going come on, guys, this
is fucking stupid. If you do that, you are going
to cut your face, cut your nose off the spite
your face. But for them to actually listen to it
and go, yeah, okay, I.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Know, because you're right, it would be so very rugby
of them to be like, no, with the number one
sport in this country, it's.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Going to be watching seven o'clock as the match were
seven o'clock.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah, that's right. They would have come in and be
like you think that everyone Wellington is going to watch
the bloody Auckland rugby laying. It's like, well, the numbers
say that, yes they are.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
It gives me faith, gaves me faith that you know,
they recognized the fact that we actually have to coexist.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah that's right. And also it's only going to benefit
them because people that probably weren't going to watch that
game will now be like, okay, well I'll watch that
game first, and it's great for us as sports fans.

Speaker 3 (21:32):
Sports fans, it's like, thank you don't make me choose exactly,
because the other thing is it's hard. You won't watch
the replay if you know what the score is you
never do. You always think that you're will, but you
just don't only die. He would watch his replays.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah that's right, but he watches replays of like Queensland
Cup games. Harold Matthews. Yeah, it's out of control to
the football disc Now, we football massively underrepresented on this podcast,
which is, as you mentioned, the greatest sports podcast in
the nation. So here we go.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Well, yes, a AC Milan have done something kinite interesting.
They've they brought in like a and this is from
Joe Pompeiano does a great business blog around business of sport,
is around AC Milan's financial situation and what they're doing
with fans and whatever. They're building in a courtside seats
like the NBA, so people sit between the players benches,

(22:24):
so they've got like these twenty seats that go between
the player benches, so you're right in the mixer at
the moment, they're invite only, so I think they've just
got movie stars or whatever. But then they'll they'll eventually
sell them some Saudi shake. Yeah, pretty much. But got
a cool idea like bringing the bringing fans right on
field so they're basically between the benches the players are
running around in front of them.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Because they make the teams. You know. Jack Nicholson used
to sit courtside of the Lakers for years. Yeah, Spike
Lee for the New York Knicks.

Speaker 3 (22:53):
So AC Milan, so they've been days. Recently got brought
out by American investment fund Redbird cap All for one
point two billion. That was in twenty two and they,
I mean, they're doing all right Asimlan they kind of what.
They reached the Champions League semifinal last year. They finished
second in the league this year. But on the business side,

(23:14):
the one hundred and twenty eight year old Italian football
club is on fire. They have made a record profit
this year. They came second in the Serie Day. But
their revenue this year was one hundred and five million US.
It's the highest in the club's history and the operating
incomes eighty one million valuation of one point four billion.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
This is US, by the way, Jesus.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
So quite interesting because they also they also share their
stadium with Inter Milan, yet they have yet they make
so much more money and have so many Their ticket
sales are more. They're doing these sideline seats. Ye, it's
it's really interesting, but I mean, I don't know the
obviously business model is working and how they do it,
but it's owned by this investment company that are full

(23:58):
of cliches, but obviously something something's working for them.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Yeah, and it's like a silver Oake deal that actually worked. Yeah,
pretty much, that's what it sounds like.

Speaker 3 (24:06):
But you know, and so court side seats bring them
in for the rugby imagine sitting in between the benches
of rugby putting, like twenty people just on and they're
just in seats they get they get to.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Park with the players as well. So they turn out.
You park in the same car parks as players.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
You get a concierge takes you to your seat, and
you get a Michelin stad chef brings you out like
the entrees and stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, and you just bail that up on the sideline.
See that's perfect. Why don't we do a New Zealand
version of that where you pull up, you sit on
the sideline, We bring your toppers, we bring you export ultras,
you just get to sit there and watch the game.
Because that would change particularly Eaten Park, but also the
cake Tin where you're actually not sitting anywhere near the ground.
But if you filled those in and put people there.

(24:49):
That that would change everything.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
What you could do at at the Cake Tin and
Eating Park, you could practically put a beer festival on
between the stand and the sideline and people could just
stand around on Lena's watching the game. Because there is
so much space between the sideline and the stand that
you could actually create something quite cool within.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
That's so if you haven't meant to Eat and park,
the Breakers could play on the sideline that it's that
bag between the well.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
Even more so at the cake Tin Yeah, cake Tin's
even wider. It's ridiculous and that would change everything.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
And I know that the first retort would be, well,
but what happens if a player goes crashing into the thing.
What happens is we are number one on Sports Center,
We go viral. There's the only way you're going to
get rugby onto ESPN. As if someone goes careening into
a corporate hospitality table.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Because how many times has someone showing you a photo
of some old bitty with their glasses courtside in an
NBA game and a ball collatteres into her face and
just explodes their glasses.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, check this out in slow motion? Yeah, totally. That's
the best thing ever. So yeah, I'm one hundred percent
on board at that tables. I think, like you know,
ringside at the boxing, when they sit at the corporate tables,
I'd love that. We talked about they used to have
that at the breakers. Yeah they did, but they can
fit so many more people in as the problem, so
they've now changed that to all seating. But the thing

(26:08):
is that the rugby is that much ground, so much
room you could you could just about put people. Maybe
you put them in in the in goal like at
the at the ends. It's how good would be to
watch the try being scored. That's what the Warriors got.
People can just lean on the back fence of the Warriors.
That that fanny, Yeah, that is that down that end
is excellent. I don't think people realize how close it is.
I saw Dolphins.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
I saw great footage of the Dolphins club set up
the Oh my god, how good is that.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
The bistro, it's I would rather I just about rather
go to that in the Magic ground. Probably not quite,
but sitting there and having a chicken snitty watching the
footage couple of schooners, it looks so good.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Yeah, anyway, there there's that We've solved it again. We've
solved it again.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
It never ends. The look. I know, we throw a
lot of shit at the wall, but I wouldn't be
shocked if we heard someone parroting this stuff back to
us and the next few weeks, it's take one more
quick break before we wrap this thing up, all right.
I just had to say, quick break, have a quick
drink of water. The three dollar Diaries would get a
hold of me. And you don't.

Speaker 3 (27:11):
You don't look as bad as I thought you were
going to look, because you know, normally if you go away,
usually you go away to a wedding in wy Mattie
and you come back looking like Prince peor Palpatine is.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
There's all sorts going on.

Speaker 3 (27:22):
You've got you've got kind of coloration issues going on,
you've got rashes and your throats out, and everything's everything's
falling apart. But you've come back from Bali relatively unscathed.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
I think I actually nailed it on the dirry front
because you can smoke inside everywhere. We had a taxi
driver one day who was like, does anyone smoke in here?
And everyone's like, no, no, we don't, And I sort
of looked at my missus. How do I answer this?
She sugar head does it? No, no, no, because he goes, oh, okay,
well just let you know, like, if you want to
smoke in this taxi, you can, like you can smoke
in here. I'm fine with it. What he was saying

(27:53):
was can I smoke? And he did it. But in
the end, what I ended up doing was because darries
are like, it's a three dollars for pack of douries
over there. It's outrageous, it's so cheap. So what I
was doing is I'd bum a darry Off whoever was
driving us, tour guides whatever, because they're all smoking while
we're going. And then I just tipped them three bucks.
So that's a whole pack of dories to them, and

(28:15):
I just could smoke whenever I wanted to without actually
having a full pack of darts on me at any
given time. It's the hack. You should have just.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
Brought a whole cart and of darts and just flipped
them a pack of darts.

Speaker 1 (28:26):
That would mean, oh yeah, been quite balling. That probably
would have been the go. Yeah. I didn't realize that.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
I mean, you had to carry around a whole cart
and then you'd probably smash those cat that cart.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, so that's yeah, it's actually probably an own goal.
America's Cup was back in the news this week because
they they put out the forecast of how much money
it's set to make Barcelona later on this year. It's
about two billion dollars. It's going to create about nineteen
thousand jobs over there as well.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
Good for them, now, that's awesome, well done, well done,
well done.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I was like, didn't we win that? Didn't we? Yeah?
Should we be host?

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Seeing that?

Speaker 1 (29:00):
And from what I remembered, basically, wasn't it like sailing
was trying to hold the government over a barrel and
be like, you have to pay for all of this
and if you don't, then we're out of here.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, And they said that like if they if they don't,
then they can't afford to go with the program they've
currently got and they can't compete with international other international
teams with the current budget, so they have to take
it overseas to defend it. That is the reason why
they're in Barcelona. But it's all about the cash.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, And I don't know, to be fair, we did
our ass on the last one because that was still
on the tail end of COVID. Yes, and so they
had forecasts that all these super yachts and billionaires We're
going to come in the country and no one came.
So I could see why. If you're the government, you look,
I just can't. Can I justify this again? But min
you so deep.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
We've done it so many times, it's so well when
you do it again, your pot committed at this totally.
Now you're like, now you've just gone off, just given
it all of Uslona, which is a great city, and
they'll do a great job and it all look great
and we'll probably.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Lose, and this is the problem. Then it never comes
back to New Zealand ever. So I'm like, well, how
do we get it back to New Zealand? And I've
got a plan. I've got a plan. It's a two
phase strategy that I think could benefit not only the
America's Cup but also our own League of the Sale GP. Yes,
and that is and you may have picked up where

(30:17):
I'm hitting with this. We take all of the Hector's
dolphins we can find out of the Acro Harbor and
we take them over to Barcelona and we release them
into the thing bringing America's Cup to its knees and
then be like, well, funnily enough, we've just found out
we don't have any of the dolphins anymore, so why
don't you bring it back here and we have it

(30:38):
back down there in christ Church and we wrestle two
billion dollars back for our economy.

Speaker 3 (30:42):
I you should have brought this up tomorrow in a
halfbak sports idea because I like it.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
But the thing is, when you go to Europe is
a different.

Speaker 3 (30:52):
Level of give a fuck over there, and if a
dolphin gets in the way of something that potentially looks
like fun and people are involved, yeah they'll go and
they'll just.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
Run it over. They're just sashimi that motherfuckerly they will
want heck the dolphins. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
They I don't give it, shah, they don't. They don't
in terms of your kind of environmentalist clout. Yeah, true,
they have a bigger mallet here than they do over
in Europe.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
Still there, but they're not going to stop a race
that's going to make this city billions and billions of dollars. Well,
that would just go as he's the giant salmon that
are flying around here, like the size of these salmon.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
But do you want to try some hect this dolphin
for dinner tonight because we've actually just carved one in
half of the monofoil out in the harbor. I sill
just recently of a shipping container pulling into dock with
like a right whale on the on the bowl but
the front.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Yeah, just splatted band container ship band container ships.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Yeah, that's disgusting. Apparently it's a bit more common than
than you'd think. They're sashimi in a marine mammal.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
And that one, that the sashimi one, the landing on
the bulb of a container ship is a bit different
from a sashimi. It's more a kind of a pan
fried situation, isn't it, because it just sits on top
of it.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
Yeah, yeah it is. It's more it's tender, tenderized tender lily.
All right, We I understand used to have got through
a mountain of yours pleases mainly feedback on the Friday's body,
but yeah, across kids. So we've only just got the
one today, but it is now time for yours, please, yours.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
Please brought you by leader home. Hey, lad's you want
to get more people to the Caketon back in make
the Bears cheaper forty three dollars for four beers mate
in the pub and not fucking go also at home.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
And I know this is this is a great point
that you make here, caller, and it is one that
we've talked about at nauseum on this, but I do
think it's right to bring it up again. And that's
that beers just cost so much at the at the ground,
and what they are competing with is staying at home
or going to the pub. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
I understand that it costs a lot. You've got staff,
you know, it's not cheap to actually get people. Now, Yes,
I understand all that carry on. But when you're paying
that much, yes, for a couple of beers and a
hamburger or whatever at a shitty little pizza or something, yes,
it is quite hard to justify.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Yes, And and there's a point of diminishing returns because
people aren't going to games, and it's and that is
one of the main problems. The other problem is and
from all the accounts that I heard from people that
went to Magic Ground, which looked, you know, was you
know boat the Bogan Olympics, it was Rugby League Nirvana.
Millions of people there. Nobody struggled to get a beer,

(33:49):
I know. And so it's like, how can even with
declining sporting attendance, when you go to a game, you
still have to queue up for a beer. How I
understand gouging my out for it. You've got a captive audience. Fine, yeah,
like take me for all I'm worth, but at least
let me get them, because I can't, like, at least
give me an opportunity to give you all of my money.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
Well, look at the Masters. We talked about the Masters.
They haven't changed their food price for twenty years. Yeah,
it's stayed the same, and the sandwiches like two dollars. Yeah,
and the beers are still cheap. They've kept it the
same because they realize the value of the actual event itself, yes,
and making money around the event and the whole Master's
brand and the.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Merchandise they sell and everything like that. Yeah, so they've
they've nailed it. Whereas we're like.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
Okay, there's ten thousand people here. How we're still twenty
thousand short because of the capacities. How can we make
up the vale? Let's just charge them sixteen bucks a beer,
make them queue up so we only have to put
one person on the till.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah, they'll be fine, they'll pay it. They go nowhere
else to go, I know. Yeah, it's like, well, yes
they do that, here's where they go. They are twenty
thousand at home. Yes, we're still watching. We're just at
home with the next word ultra, you know, for way less.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
That's why Sky have said their viewership's up by sixteen percent,
mainly because of us on Skysport nine, but also the
fact that fans are probably like, you know what, fuck,
I'll smash them. I'll smash a dozen export oltras at
home for the same price. Yeah as two beers. That's
right from the ground.

Speaker 4 (35:15):
I know.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
And it's like it's just so even the hearty fans
who are like, yeah I want to go. You look
at your window on game day and it's raining sideways.
You've got a fridge full of beers and a blanket
on the couch, you know what I mean. Like that
just tips it so far in favor of just staying
at home. And I think they'd look at it the
wrong way. Where for the longest time, it's been like

(35:36):
everyone goes to the rugby, and that was true for
the long stuff. So it's like everyone's going to go
to the rugby regardless, so let's guadge your eyes out
make our money that way. Well, now it's shifted. People
aren't just by default going to watch these games, so
it's not a given that they're going to be there,
So you don't just have the right to fleece us.

Speaker 3 (35:53):
I reckon the F and B should be a lost
leader for the next couple of years. Hundred percent a
lost leader if you're losing money.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
I know that.

Speaker 3 (35:59):
They there's all sorts of complexities around this. I know
this have helped run stadiums around. You sell the catering
side of the business to a third party, whether it's
a spotless or whoever, so they run the concession. So
stadiums in effect don't really have a choice on pricing
or anything else. But someone's got to stand out and go, right,
I'll subsidize it whatever.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
I don't care. Well they do, because they could just say, look,
here's your maximum pricing, you know, yeah, and we'll put
it out. But yeah, you're right.

Speaker 3 (36:24):
There is some politicals. But if it was a lost leader, right,
beers are five bucks. For the first half years, burgers
are ten bucks.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
That's it. We're calling it a marketing expense.

Speaker 3 (36:33):
Yeah, let's put it under the marketing whatever or you
like we said before you get a free beer with
your ticket, you know, and then beers are ten dollars
after that.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
You know that subsidizes it down, but who knows.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
I mean, look, I know we're solving the world's problems
again on this podcast, but that I think if a
lost leader on match experience is the way to go,
then we have to do it. Yeah, we can't keep
going on and just selling games out for the semi
in the final.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
Couldn't you subsidize it by all of the because everyone
in a corporate box doesn't pay for their PA, but
they crush it. Yeah. Yeah, that's because whoever owns the
corporate box pays for it. It's not still paid for.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
So yeah, say, GB you've got a corporate box. At
the end of that game, they will get a bill
for the amount of past that got drunk in.

Speaker 1 (37:14):
The right right right, right, Well well then why couldn't
we get someone to come in and be like, right,
the export Ultra would do it in a fucking heartbeat. Yeah,
and just say okay, whoever's got the catering thing here,
you're still going to make your money. We're going to
pay you. But the punter, they get a massive discount.
Five dollars can five dollar can cool, so you get

(37:35):
four to twenty bucks. You're back at your seat. And
that in cans, we don't even open them, just not
open the opening them thing that annoys me? What does
that stop? Well, they reckon you can throw it off.
Who's throwing? Beer is too expensive? Who's throwing who's paying
fifty bucks for a beer? And then throw at someone
it's cheap in to three your shoes and other news

(37:57):
on on Export Ultra.

Speaker 3 (37:58):
Obviously, we're lining up our pre games before the England Games,
so we've lined up the Postman's League in Auckland, so
we're gonna cram and turundred people into the air. We've
got live music and got coaches free coaches going from there.
We'll let you know details and how you can book
that Duneda and we're still looking for a place. You
are going down there and going to check out some places.
So we've had lots of suggestions around Guardies, which is impossible.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
It's a library lot the.

Speaker 3 (38:23):
Bowler, the Cook, Starters or the Ori. So this week
you're going down there and potentially going to line one up.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
Yeah, I'm going to go and have a look. It's
going to be one of the wildest swings and temperatures
that the human body's ever gone through. But I will
go down there and have a look. It's kind of
sad from what I've heard, all of the student bars
have been brought up and shut.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
I'm putting my weight behind the Cook. I want the
Captain Cook to reopen. I know it's got to sALS
in it, but can we just shift them out for
a bit?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Oh yeah, we could bring them out of there. I
have an affinity to Starters Bar. When I was living
down there, we live like literally a street over and
we could walk through straight into Starters Bar. My flatmates
with the bouncers. One of them work behind the bar.
One of them was the DJ. So start as bar
as a particular affinity. But I know that it got
shut down a couple of years ago. But we have

(39:10):
the power to assuscitate one of these bars, absolutely, because
we'll be there.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
For the weekend of the England All Blacks match.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
It's only a month or yeah, fifth and sixth of July,
less than a month. Got our work cut up.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Yes, so we'll see what we can do. We can
do but keep the suggestions coming through and we can't wait.
We'll rip Dunedin a new one.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah, all right, we'll knock this one on the head
for today. We will be back tomorrow for a Wednesday
with another half back sports idea. Send in your voicemails
for yours please, we will see you tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
You've been listening to the ACC's a gender podcast brought
to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and
follow on iHeartRadio for them, you'll get your podcasts
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